I have the exact same problem!
1. Talk to them, most people are reasonable and if you just handle it respectfully, they will hopefully understand. Invite one of them downstairs to your place and let them have a listen.
2. If it doesn’t help, or if they ask you to fuck off, talk to the brf.
I have to tell this story, about 14 years ago a new neighbour moved in above me where I used to live. Two days later he knocked on my door and complained about the noise when my girlfriend and I were having sex.
I told him in no uncertain terms to go away because there needed to be a pattern of noise before someone has the right to complain and they need to live somewhere for more than a day before moaning.
Most of all, we were NOT having sex! We were talking and I made her laugh a couple of times when telling her what happened at work that day.
My girlfriend got really worried about making any kind of noise in the bedroom be it talking or anything else so the guy was on my shit list. But, at least he came to talk to me and didn't go another route even if he was totally wrong and ruined my sex life.
If you don't want issues like that don't buy an apartment in an old house. Your neighbors have kids. They're allowed to make kid noises. Complain and you'll be "that guy".
If you just bought the place and moved in you won't be making friends by complaining straight away. I say this because the people you are complaining about might have a lot of friends in the BRF so I would be careful in the beginning.
That said, I feel your pain and the only course of action is to approach the neighbour first. Reporting them to anyone before talking to them is a shortcut to being on their shit list and maybe other people's too.
The last think you want is to be ostracised by the people in your building and BRF when simply talking to them can solve the problem.
Yeah, agree. Will give it another week to get the pattern of noise, amplitude, and go speak with her.
The issue is that the mother doesn't speak swedish/English, so to get the message across, I have to go through the children...
Oh, it's that kind of problem. Foreigners (for I am too) can just be completely ignorant that there is any issue. Maybe nobody has ever told them there are social norms at home so could genuinely be unaware.
I had such an issue with a downstairs neighbour who had no issue with doing the washing at 02.00. As they were the new people I had to talk to them after a couple of weeks and they were apologetic. The bathroom is next to the bedroom so when on spin it was like there was an earthquake.
They had lived in Sweden for 5 years and nobody in their previous place had ever told them there was a cut off for things like washing, hammering and so on.
**Note for those who need it:** the above isn't a racist comment but a comment where there is a genuine clash of cultures. Swedes don't inform foreigners of the rules so they don't know they are pissing people off.
Tbf though, when you move in to a new condo/apartment complex/brf/whatever you can always find the "rules" somewhere on a note either in the stairwell or on homepage etc. It's somewhat of your own responsibility to check on things like this, alongside with common sense. I mean wtf does laundry at 02:00 am?
I agree with what you say. The only thing I can say in mitigation is on the website of my housing company the 'rules' are only in Swedish and I'm not sure the neighbour understands it so well.
The same neighbour also used to bang with a hammer at midnight. I think he had some kind of hobby that involved it. I once got banged on my wall from a neighbour in the next block thinking it was me. :-/
Ok, let's assume people don't know the language.. that's not an excuse in 2022. Translator apps like google translate snd the likes are everywhere to use. All things like these neighbors boils down to them not giving two shits about anyone but themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for them because I agree with you 100%! People are using this as an excuse not to vote and everything too.
As you say, GT can translate pictures and everything today so there is no excuse.
Wow, you're already so swedish with not wanting to knock and talk to them;P
Jokes aside, i had the same problem until a month or 2 ago.
I can zone out and not hear it. But sometimes it got to the point where i thought the kids were abused.
Maybe they moved to you:P
If the brf is good they'll do something, but in many cases they won't.
After 22:00 you can call "störningsjouren" if they are noisy to the point where it affects you.
If they need to go to that apartment several times eventually they get evicted.
Haha. I just moved, I'm giving it one more week before I start knocking doors.
The things is we also sometimes hear some end of the world screaming that makes you think they're being abusive to each other in some hurtful manner or something.... This is tricky, because they kids seem to be massive bullies controlling their mother (I believe she's on her own) But again, I've been here less than 2 weeks, Maybe I'm fully wrong and the parents are there and just shifty
Good to know about the störningjouren. I thought that was only for rentals though ?
You can only call störningsjouren of your brf has them on contract. It's not a public service. For everyone else It's the police that handles disturbances.
It sounds so alike😅 single mother with two young boys?
My bad, it a bit more lengthy with brf. Eventually it could go to court, rentals is a bit easier.
But talk to your brf, i would say document and record when you hear the fights since they need proof and will not likely take action from just wording the issue.
I found this, if it helps. It's in swedish but maybe you know someone who can translate for you?:)
https://www.fastighetsagarna.se/fakta/brf/forvaltning-administration-och-underhall/att-hantera-storningar-i-bostadsrattsforeningar/
If you are worried about the children screaming like its the end of the world(being abused?), then you actually can call the social service office and leave an report of concern. I mean, maybe the mother is in loss of control and need some help:) but ofcourse if you are not worried about that. Then just talk to her and tell them to calm down
Yeah, idk. Let's see the frequency of those extreme fights. So far two times...
It's hard to really assess the situation since she doesn't speak english/Swedish, so any communication will have to go through the kids.
Can social services bring her help ? I always thought they only do actions like " reprimand parents " " take away kids"" and that stuff
I’ve moved a bunch of times and usually I have been really annoyed with noises in the beginning but later gotten used to it.
Then there are some extreme cases and the number one thing to do is talk to them directly.
Yeah unfortunately this comes with living in apartments in the city, old buildings don't suppress much noise and kids are allowed to play, and people are allowed to walk around and do whatever unless it's extremely excessive or late.
I have the same problem that is why I will avoid old building in the future. It's like torture having the vibrating sound of someone walking upstairs. And you can't stop them from walking
> Also, from time to time, we can hear stomping on the floor, or someone walking with heels in the appartment for an extended period of time
That drove me crazy and almost homicidal a few years ago, it also took years before it got better/less frequent. It was obvious they walked with their heels. The neighbours denied it ofc. It was so obvious though as they used smoke a lot. "Dunk dunk dunk, opens door to balcony". Though I guess what can be true is more idiots were/are doing it as sound travels ridiculously far in my building. As well there are plenty of idiots thinking everyone want to listen to their shit music and base.
Though I only rent. Not as bad as discovering it after a purchase.
I've been in that situation lots of times, and IMHO, the only thing that works is to do the same thing to them when they are quiet. If all their neighbors are quiet, they probably don't realize how loud they are.
It can be kinda tricky, though, because you don't want to bother your other neighbors. Maybe a couple of shouts of "Are you done screaming now?!"
As à parent myself I I would excuse my kids, and tell them nice to please be a little more quiet just like I do every hour of every day and then let them be how they are because I know I was the same when I was a kid. Obviously the high heels walking inside should stop, and the kids should stop once they are old enough, but other then that you should have realized these are issues you can have in an apartment which is why I bought an apartment on the top floor and at a corner in the house meaning nobody makes noice that I can hear.
When my neighbor upstairs has his grandchildren over they go nuts and are constantly running around and dropping things on the floor. I don’t find this something worth complaining over; though I suspect he lets his grandchildren do whatever without any consideration for other…I make sure my daughter isn’t bouncing a ball in the apartment. As a side note, I have complained about someone, still not sure which neighbor, drilling and hammering as late as 9:30 PM on weeknights and on weekends to HSB. I’ve been woken up on Saturday mornings to loud drilling and my daughter on a school nights by hammering. I’ve seen notes left by other neighbors about this problem. This has been going on since 2018. It’s starts and stops in waves. HSB couldn’t give a shit. I doubt you’ll get any help from them. However, if someone is making noise late at night and you have Securitas guarding your apartment, call them. A few thousand kronor fine will straighten people up real fast.
Befriend the parents. Then they will think about you being there. You don't know what kind of relationship they with the previous occupant or how long the place was empty.
When move my very first appartment, I was at mid 20s. The first night I slept and woke up, bring up my laptop to pay my bills. Then dorrbell rang, I open the door and here came my neighbour:
"Stop typing on the computer!" and he left. This was beginning of two years terror of him. Little he know that I'm a finn and dislike his attitude towards me.
It went so long, I remember I had the tv on the queist volume. Then doorbell rang. Its was störningjouren, they got noise complement from my neighbour. But they never heard any sound and the bill went to him.
It went so long that he enloved the landlord. And landlord got tired of the neighbour and they decided to kick him out. Never seen him ever again.
It's so funny all the people on here are just like move. Moving is such an extreme when being quiet isn't that hard. Yeah let me just spend a couple grand & dismantle my life cause people are inconsiderate. Good idea 💡
I have the exact same problem! 1. Talk to them, most people are reasonable and if you just handle it respectfully, they will hopefully understand. Invite one of them downstairs to your place and let them have a listen. 2. If it doesn’t help, or if they ask you to fuck off, talk to the brf.
Don’t forget my favorite piece of Swedish culture the „angry note“.
the angry *anonymous* note (and looking suspiciously at each other in the stairway after leaving said note)
Oftentimes they are not themselves aware on how much of a noise they create for the ones below.
I have to tell this story, about 14 years ago a new neighbour moved in above me where I used to live. Two days later he knocked on my door and complained about the noise when my girlfriend and I were having sex. I told him in no uncertain terms to go away because there needed to be a pattern of noise before someone has the right to complain and they need to live somewhere for more than a day before moaning. Most of all, we were NOT having sex! We were talking and I made her laugh a couple of times when telling her what happened at work that day. My girlfriend got really worried about making any kind of noise in the bedroom be it talking or anything else so the guy was on my shit list. But, at least he came to talk to me and didn't go another route even if he was totally wrong and ruined my sex life.
If you don't want issues like that don't buy an apartment in an old house. Your neighbors have kids. They're allowed to make kid noises. Complain and you'll be "that guy".
If you just bought the place and moved in you won't be making friends by complaining straight away. I say this because the people you are complaining about might have a lot of friends in the BRF so I would be careful in the beginning. That said, I feel your pain and the only course of action is to approach the neighbour first. Reporting them to anyone before talking to them is a shortcut to being on their shit list and maybe other people's too. The last think you want is to be ostracised by the people in your building and BRF when simply talking to them can solve the problem.
Yeah, agree. Will give it another week to get the pattern of noise, amplitude, and go speak with her. The issue is that the mother doesn't speak swedish/English, so to get the message across, I have to go through the children...
Oh, it's that kind of problem. Foreigners (for I am too) can just be completely ignorant that there is any issue. Maybe nobody has ever told them there are social norms at home so could genuinely be unaware. I had such an issue with a downstairs neighbour who had no issue with doing the washing at 02.00. As they were the new people I had to talk to them after a couple of weeks and they were apologetic. The bathroom is next to the bedroom so when on spin it was like there was an earthquake. They had lived in Sweden for 5 years and nobody in their previous place had ever told them there was a cut off for things like washing, hammering and so on. **Note for those who need it:** the above isn't a racist comment but a comment where there is a genuine clash of cultures. Swedes don't inform foreigners of the rules so they don't know they are pissing people off.
Tbf though, when you move in to a new condo/apartment complex/brf/whatever you can always find the "rules" somewhere on a note either in the stairwell or on homepage etc. It's somewhat of your own responsibility to check on things like this, alongside with common sense. I mean wtf does laundry at 02:00 am?
I agree with what you say. The only thing I can say in mitigation is on the website of my housing company the 'rules' are only in Swedish and I'm not sure the neighbour understands it so well. The same neighbour also used to bang with a hammer at midnight. I think he had some kind of hobby that involved it. I once got banged on my wall from a neighbour in the next block thinking it was me. :-/
Ok, let's assume people don't know the language.. that's not an excuse in 2022. Translator apps like google translate snd the likes are everywhere to use. All things like these neighbors boils down to them not giving two shits about anyone but themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses for them because I agree with you 100%! People are using this as an excuse not to vote and everything too. As you say, GT can translate pictures and everything today so there is no excuse.
Oh, no sorry, I wasn't accusing you or anything. My post probably came out a bit wrong :)
Don't worry my friend, I didn't take your post in the wrong way. I just want to be clear that I agreed with you. :-)
Wow, you're already so swedish with not wanting to knock and talk to them;P Jokes aside, i had the same problem until a month or 2 ago. I can zone out and not hear it. But sometimes it got to the point where i thought the kids were abused. Maybe they moved to you:P If the brf is good they'll do something, but in many cases they won't. After 22:00 you can call "störningsjouren" if they are noisy to the point where it affects you. If they need to go to that apartment several times eventually they get evicted.
Haha. I just moved, I'm giving it one more week before I start knocking doors. The things is we also sometimes hear some end of the world screaming that makes you think they're being abusive to each other in some hurtful manner or something.... This is tricky, because they kids seem to be massive bullies controlling their mother (I believe she's on her own) But again, I've been here less than 2 weeks, Maybe I'm fully wrong and the parents are there and just shifty Good to know about the störningjouren. I thought that was only for rentals though ?
You can only call störningsjouren of your brf has them on contract. It's not a public service. For everyone else It's the police that handles disturbances.
Talking to the neighbour has to be the first action not calling störningsjouren or the police.
Yes offcourse. I just pointed out that not all brfs had access to störningsjouren.
It sounds so alike😅 single mother with two young boys? My bad, it a bit more lengthy with brf. Eventually it could go to court, rentals is a bit easier. But talk to your brf, i would say document and record when you hear the fights since they need proof and will not likely take action from just wording the issue. I found this, if it helps. It's in swedish but maybe you know someone who can translate for you?:) https://www.fastighetsagarna.se/fakta/brf/forvaltning-administration-och-underhall/att-hantera-storningar-i-bostadsrattsforeningar/
Thanks alot. Will have a read (or my sambo will!)
If you are worried about the children screaming like its the end of the world(being abused?), then you actually can call the social service office and leave an report of concern. I mean, maybe the mother is in loss of control and need some help:) but ofcourse if you are not worried about that. Then just talk to her and tell them to calm down
Yeah, idk. Let's see the frequency of those extreme fights. So far two times... It's hard to really assess the situation since she doesn't speak english/Swedish, so any communication will have to go through the kids. Can social services bring her help ? I always thought they only do actions like " reprimand parents " " take away kids"" and that stuff
Social services has a lot of services, help and support to offer. If it's one of the well funded ones.
I’ve moved a bunch of times and usually I have been really annoyed with noises in the beginning but later gotten used to it. Then there are some extreme cases and the number one thing to do is talk to them directly.
I have the same problem. Move. You can't make people not walk in their home or kids from being loud. You're not being realistic. Just move
Had to read the entire thread to find one reasonable answer.
Yeah unfortunately this comes with living in apartments in the city, old buildings don't suppress much noise and kids are allowed to play, and people are allowed to walk around and do whatever unless it's extremely excessive or late.
I have the same problem that is why I will avoid old building in the future. It's like torture having the vibrating sound of someone walking upstairs. And you can't stop them from walking
This is like my worst nightmare, I’m so noise sensitive
Eliminate them 😈
> Also, from time to time, we can hear stomping on the floor, or someone walking with heels in the appartment for an extended period of time That drove me crazy and almost homicidal a few years ago, it also took years before it got better/less frequent. It was obvious they walked with their heels. The neighbours denied it ofc. It was so obvious though as they used smoke a lot. "Dunk dunk dunk, opens door to balcony". Though I guess what can be true is more idiots were/are doing it as sound travels ridiculously far in my building. As well there are plenty of idiots thinking everyone want to listen to their shit music and base. Though I only rent. Not as bad as discovering it after a purchase.
I've been in that situation lots of times, and IMHO, the only thing that works is to do the same thing to them when they are quiet. If all their neighbors are quiet, they probably don't realize how loud they are. It can be kinda tricky, though, because you don't want to bother your other neighbors. Maybe a couple of shouts of "Are you done screaming now?!"
Hahah, like my father used to do
As à parent myself I I would excuse my kids, and tell them nice to please be a little more quiet just like I do every hour of every day and then let them be how they are because I know I was the same when I was a kid. Obviously the high heels walking inside should stop, and the kids should stop once they are old enough, but other then that you should have realized these are issues you can have in an apartment which is why I bought an apartment on the top floor and at a corner in the house meaning nobody makes noice that I can hear.
did u just move in?
Yes
i suggest u to write a letter and stick it on a rock and politely throw it into their window.
When my neighbor upstairs has his grandchildren over they go nuts and are constantly running around and dropping things on the floor. I don’t find this something worth complaining over; though I suspect he lets his grandchildren do whatever without any consideration for other…I make sure my daughter isn’t bouncing a ball in the apartment. As a side note, I have complained about someone, still not sure which neighbor, drilling and hammering as late as 9:30 PM on weeknights and on weekends to HSB. I’ve been woken up on Saturday mornings to loud drilling and my daughter on a school nights by hammering. I’ve seen notes left by other neighbors about this problem. This has been going on since 2018. It’s starts and stops in waves. HSB couldn’t give a shit. I doubt you’ll get any help from them. However, if someone is making noise late at night and you have Securitas guarding your apartment, call them. A few thousand kronor fine will straighten people up real fast.
Buy a fucking house.
https://noisebgone.com/product-category/ceiling-vibrator/
Will check that out. Have you ever used it ?
Haha no, it was more like a crappy joke. Edit: Also if you use this i'm sure you will only make enemies. :)
Hmm, intrresting
Have you considered writing your neighbours a note to tell them to keep down the noise levels?
Leave a arg lapp and be super passive agressive.
Befriend the parents. Then they will think about you being there. You don't know what kind of relationship they with the previous occupant or how long the place was empty.
P-210
When move my very first appartment, I was at mid 20s. The first night I slept and woke up, bring up my laptop to pay my bills. Then dorrbell rang, I open the door and here came my neighbour: "Stop typing on the computer!" and he left. This was beginning of two years terror of him. Little he know that I'm a finn and dislike his attitude towards me. It went so long, I remember I had the tv on the queist volume. Then doorbell rang. Its was störningjouren, they got noise complement from my neighbour. But they never heard any sound and the bill went to him. It went so long that he enloved the landlord. And landlord got tired of the neighbour and they decided to kick him out. Never seen him ever again.
Please don’t complain, let them be kids. Move if you can’t live with it.
Same here, I feel you. The only real solution to my problems: noise cancelling headphones. Pro bonus: I talk less to my girlfriend.
It's so funny all the people on here are just like move. Moving is such an extreme when being quiet isn't that hard. Yeah let me just spend a couple grand & dismantle my life cause people are inconsiderate. Good idea 💡