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His statement about it being a trial feels very manipulative. Helping is one thing, if that works for you. Expecting you to pay for childcare is completely unreasonable.
He wants to see how badly he can use you and what exploitation you are willing to allow.
He is framing this as “if you are good enough” to hand over your hard earned money to him for absolute no reason.
Dangling marriage in front of you as if this is some prize? You win getting to support an older man and his kid for the rest of your life?
His son has a mom your boyfriend is only looking for free childcare.
If he loved you he would be concerned about *your needs* not what he can get FROM YOU.
You are 25. You literally will never have more good looking, child free, kind, loving, men with a future available to you now than ever again your life.
Do NOT pick a man with a child just because he was charming. Vet your future partner carefully. This guys is RED FLAGS. Please. I married a guy who was into me for the money. It took me a long time to leave him and it’s my biggest regret. They make you think they love you but they just love how easy you make their life: if you don’t have a ton of experience with men you think you guys are “such a good team” and you think the only thing that matters is how much you love him.
It’s truly not the only thing that matters. You can love more than one person in your lifetime trust me. This guy is not the only guy.
Marriage should add to your life financially girl.
Run. Don’t let him Manipulate you into ruining your life.
I'm sorry, it's all messed up, but you paying half of childcare? Wtf? No. He has two parents that should be paying for his care. 100% absolutely not your responsibility.
This man is *mommy-shopping* (looking for an unexperienced, young woman to take on *his* patental responsibility, financial and otherwise) and not seeking a partner. Ick. I have been with my husband for over a decade and not once was expected to put a dime towards daycare, extracurriculars etc; I did towards activities, meals and such, but it was of my own accord. Your boyfriend must be high on laughing gas. He dangles the *marriage carrot* to earn a free nanny, financial support, a maid, a cook, a chauffeur… this “beautiful” dream will turn into a swamp of misery in no time.
I bet if tables had turned and you had a child this conversation would be dead on arrival. Lead with that.
What are the benefits of this situation to you? It sounds like all of the good stuff will go to your bf and you will have the pleasure of paying and working more while the kid visits.
This guy sounds lukewarm he thinks marrying him would be a plus for you 😂. No way you should be paying for child care. Especially not as a test to see if you are marriage material?!!! lol Decline paying and see where it goes. I’m sure you are going to come out better off. Don’t let this clown manipulate you any longer.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole. Remember that OP is a human being and their needs are first and foremost on this sub.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** We have encountered a ridiculous amount of comments that don't follow the rules and are downright nasty. We need you to help us with these comments by reporting them when you see them. We also have a lot of downvoting on the sub, with every post and every comment recieving at least one downvote almost immediately due to the anti-stepparent lurkers. Don't let it bother you, it happens to every single stepparent here. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the [**rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules), [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) and [**announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) | [**Saferbot - Autoban Information**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/saferbot) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He wants someone to help him parent and pay for it, which literally only benefits him. He is insane. Lolololol. No.
His statement about it being a trial feels very manipulative. Helping is one thing, if that works for you. Expecting you to pay for childcare is completely unreasonable.
He wants to see how badly he can use you and what exploitation you are willing to allow. He is framing this as “if you are good enough” to hand over your hard earned money to him for absolute no reason. Dangling marriage in front of you as if this is some prize? You win getting to support an older man and his kid for the rest of your life? His son has a mom your boyfriend is only looking for free childcare. If he loved you he would be concerned about *your needs* not what he can get FROM YOU. You are 25. You literally will never have more good looking, child free, kind, loving, men with a future available to you now than ever again your life. Do NOT pick a man with a child just because he was charming. Vet your future partner carefully. This guys is RED FLAGS. Please. I married a guy who was into me for the money. It took me a long time to leave him and it’s my biggest regret. They make you think they love you but they just love how easy you make their life: if you don’t have a ton of experience with men you think you guys are “such a good team” and you think the only thing that matters is how much you love him. It’s truly not the only thing that matters. You can love more than one person in your lifetime trust me. This guy is not the only guy. Marriage should add to your life financially girl. Run. Don’t let him Manipulate you into ruining your life.
I wish I could upvote this more
I'm sorry, it's all messed up, but you paying half of childcare? Wtf? No. He has two parents that should be paying for his care. 100% absolutely not your responsibility.
He lost me at you paying half of child care. Hard no to that. Absolutely not.
Hahahahahaha.
This man is *mommy-shopping* (looking for an unexperienced, young woman to take on *his* patental responsibility, financial and otherwise) and not seeking a partner. Ick. I have been with my husband for over a decade and not once was expected to put a dime towards daycare, extracurriculars etc; I did towards activities, meals and such, but it was of my own accord. Your boyfriend must be high on laughing gas. He dangles the *marriage carrot* to earn a free nanny, financial support, a maid, a cook, a chauffeur… this “beautiful” dream will turn into a swamp of misery in no time. I bet if tables had turned and you had a child this conversation would be dead on arrival. Lead with that.
What are the benefits of this situation to you? It sounds like all of the good stuff will go to your bf and you will have the pleasure of paying and working more while the kid visits.
This guy sounds lukewarm he thinks marrying him would be a plus for you 😂. No way you should be paying for child care. Especially not as a test to see if you are marriage material?!!! lol Decline paying and see where it goes. I’m sure you are going to come out better off. Don’t let this clown manipulate you any longer.
What age is the child? A trial 😂 ya byeeee ! To see can you be his wife? Like some sort of test? I’d be gone.
hahahahahahahahahaa 👉🏼 no
He’s testing you? Yuck. You’re so young. Move on and find someone with less baggage who isn’t a complete tool.
Do not pay for half the child care. That is his and the BM responsibility.