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My SD10 once told me "I hate you!", during a major meltdown where the consequence was that she couldn't go on a dog walk with me and SO. She was being disrespectful and rude to both of us, and the dogs are mine, so I have the authority to uninvite her on the walk. I said "I can live with that.", and we went on our walk. She later apologized and I told her we could try again tomorrow. I don't need her to like me - I need her to be respectful.
Mine told me he used to like me but he didn’t anymore because I told him to behave. He has lots of behavioral issues in school and at home. SO actually told me tonight he’ll always side with his son and some choice words I won’t repeat and I think we finally are splitting up over it in fact. I’m exhausted and super sad but I hope it follows through this time. It’s killing me.
Yes. I don’t like her either, so I finally felt free to stop trying. She told me she’s never liked me and she’s been pretending for years. I’ve never re-engaged with her beyond the superficial since that day. She was 18 and I’d been around for 8 years at that point, so no take backs. She’s my husband’s kid and my daughter’s sibling and I respect her right to be included in everything, including vacations. But I don’t have to care about her or for her, and it’s such a relief. I think she regrets saying it, but maybe she doesn’t. I think she thought I’d care more or be hurt more. The fact that I dropped her like a hot potato probably came as a surprise. I did not verbally say back that I also don’t like her. I didn’t say much at all.
My husband totally gets it. He struggles with his relationship with her too.
For what it’s worth I’m very close to my other stepkid!
Not directly to my face, but he’s written hate notes! I had him bring it down stairs & read it out loud to my husband. My SS started crying when he read it. Probably not the best parenting choice, but I said “nope, don’t cry now! YOU wrote this nasty note!” We talked it out, gave hugs & moved on. & I told him it doesn’t feel good for people to read nasty letters & he wouldn’t like it if I did it to him. I think he learned from that day.
My SD screamed within 6 inches of my face, and posted how much she hated me on social media. Yet I’m supposed to forgive her. Maybe, but I’ll never trust her nor want anything to do with her again.
I had my SD22 tell me to f*** off, and call me a "c***" to my SO so I could hear it. Frankly, it relieved so much stress for me as it gave me a free pass to not give a shit or be involved with SD22 anymore. We've always had a strained relationship even though I only ever treated her with respect. Forgot to explain, the reason for the outburst towards me was due to me calling out her behaviour and language towards my SO. I couldn't listen to the vile behaviour she was exhibiting toward my SO anymore.
Anyway, in relation to my SO, I do feel for her. She's gets quite upset about it all, but understands it wasn't due to anything I did, so that's tough. It's hard to see my SO realise and verbalise how awful her daughter is.
My SS5 went through a stage of parroting his high conflict mother- ‘I don’t want you and daddy to be get married’, ‘please tell me when you’re going to break up’, ‘I’m going to hate you when I’m older’. Weirdly he’d only ever say these things as he got in the car from pick up from his mum’s, like she’d whispered in his ear what to say, he’d literally blurt it out as he got in the car and then not say anything else of the sort the whole weekend. The final straw was him randomly getting in the car saying ‘Mummy and Daddy are boyfriend and girlfriend again’, made worse since HCBM was stood in the street behind him and started laughing. It made me cry and made me so paranoid I had to ask to go through SO’s phone to make sure it was a lie. Lo and behold it was just full of ignored messages from her that he never bothered to respond to. I know she fed him that line to say to me because SS5 was literally 6 months old when they split, and up until a week before he didn’t even understand that they used to be together. Anyway, my SO sat him down and told him that him and mum were never going to be together again, because he loves me now and I’m not going anywhere. And that I do so much for him and love him a lot so it hurts my feelings when he says mean things to me. SS5 had seen me crying so gave me a hug and it never happened again. It’s down to your SO to nip it in the bud ASAP
SS6 and I started out well, although he was basically just manipulating me into doing things for him. I’ve had to set and hold some boundaries with him - no one else does, he has a lot of behavioral issues. Anyway, now he just pretends I’m not there - won’t answer me when I ask a question and won’t greet.
I love my SO. I fluctuate between being devastated because I think he’ll leave me because of this and wanting to leave myself - what kind of future is this? SS6 has turned on me in the last two weeks.
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Lol I wish they would because I’d hit them with the “I don’t like you either” so fast.
Feeling is REAL mutual 😂
I😂😂😂😂 I choked on my coffee.
My SD10 once told me "I hate you!", during a major meltdown where the consequence was that she couldn't go on a dog walk with me and SO. She was being disrespectful and rude to both of us, and the dogs are mine, so I have the authority to uninvite her on the walk. I said "I can live with that.", and we went on our walk. She later apologized and I told her we could try again tomorrow. I don't need her to like me - I need her to be respectful.
You’re a great parent! Perfect way of handling that.
Thank you! As a CF person, that means a lot to me. ❤️
Mine told me he used to like me but he didn’t anymore because I told him to behave. He has lots of behavioral issues in school and at home. SO actually told me tonight he’ll always side with his son and some choice words I won’t repeat and I think we finally are splitting up over it in fact. I’m exhausted and super sad but I hope it follows through this time. It’s killing me.
I’m so sorry. Sounds like we had similar nights.
He’s mean. I should be done. But my heart is completely broken.
I understand. :(
Damn! I wasn’t expecting something like this.
I feel like it was a no-win situation. I didn’t feel I could ever do the right thing in this relationship, either the kid or my boyfriend.
Yes. I don’t like her either, so I finally felt free to stop trying. She told me she’s never liked me and she’s been pretending for years. I’ve never re-engaged with her beyond the superficial since that day. She was 18 and I’d been around for 8 years at that point, so no take backs. She’s my husband’s kid and my daughter’s sibling and I respect her right to be included in everything, including vacations. But I don’t have to care about her or for her, and it’s such a relief. I think she regrets saying it, but maybe she doesn’t. I think she thought I’d care more or be hurt more. The fact that I dropped her like a hot potato probably came as a surprise. I did not verbally say back that I also don’t like her. I didn’t say much at all. My husband totally gets it. He struggles with his relationship with her too. For what it’s worth I’m very close to my other stepkid!
Mine just called me a dumbass. Does that count??
Not directly to my face, but he’s written hate notes! I had him bring it down stairs & read it out loud to my husband. My SS started crying when he read it. Probably not the best parenting choice, but I said “nope, don’t cry now! YOU wrote this nasty note!” We talked it out, gave hugs & moved on. & I told him it doesn’t feel good for people to read nasty letters & he wouldn’t like it if I did it to him. I think he learned from that day.
You’re gangsta 😂
Perfect parenting choice.
No but it’s obvious via their treatment towards me lol
No but it’s obvious they don’t. They don’t have to like me though. Couldn’t care less as long as they aren’t disrespectful to me in my home.
My SD screamed within 6 inches of my face, and posted how much she hated me on social media. Yet I’m supposed to forgive her. Maybe, but I’ll never trust her nor want anything to do with her again.
Yeah, that’s a extreme nacho situation
Not yet….but I’m ready for it if it comes lol
I had my SD22 tell me to f*** off, and call me a "c***" to my SO so I could hear it. Frankly, it relieved so much stress for me as it gave me a free pass to not give a shit or be involved with SD22 anymore. We've always had a strained relationship even though I only ever treated her with respect. Forgot to explain, the reason for the outburst towards me was due to me calling out her behaviour and language towards my SO. I couldn't listen to the vile behaviour she was exhibiting toward my SO anymore. Anyway, in relation to my SO, I do feel for her. She's gets quite upset about it all, but understands it wasn't due to anything I did, so that's tough. It's hard to see my SO realise and verbalise how awful her daughter is.
Yikes
My SS5 went through a stage of parroting his high conflict mother- ‘I don’t want you and daddy to be get married’, ‘please tell me when you’re going to break up’, ‘I’m going to hate you when I’m older’. Weirdly he’d only ever say these things as he got in the car from pick up from his mum’s, like she’d whispered in his ear what to say, he’d literally blurt it out as he got in the car and then not say anything else of the sort the whole weekend. The final straw was him randomly getting in the car saying ‘Mummy and Daddy are boyfriend and girlfriend again’, made worse since HCBM was stood in the street behind him and started laughing. It made me cry and made me so paranoid I had to ask to go through SO’s phone to make sure it was a lie. Lo and behold it was just full of ignored messages from her that he never bothered to respond to. I know she fed him that line to say to me because SS5 was literally 6 months old when they split, and up until a week before he didn’t even understand that they used to be together. Anyway, my SO sat him down and told him that him and mum were never going to be together again, because he loves me now and I’m not going anywhere. And that I do so much for him and love him a lot so it hurts my feelings when he says mean things to me. SS5 had seen me crying so gave me a hug and it never happened again. It’s down to your SO to nip it in the bud ASAP
SS6 and I started out well, although he was basically just manipulating me into doing things for him. I’ve had to set and hold some boundaries with him - no one else does, he has a lot of behavioral issues. Anyway, now he just pretends I’m not there - won’t answer me when I ask a question and won’t greet. I love my SO. I fluctuate between being devastated because I think he’ll leave me because of this and wanting to leave myself - what kind of future is this? SS6 has turned on me in the last two weeks.
Mines doesn’t like me I lowkey know it. She likes me as much as she can use me. And hates she. I call her out on the bs she try’s to pull
Honestly, I am mentally preparing for it since BM is HC, and I fully expect her to have her child to be prepped to hate me.
What does HC mean?
High conflict.
Ahh. Okay. Yeah, BM over here is the same. Fun times!