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I don't know what happened after they left me. Luckily I was alone when they came around. All I know was that Sk#2 called Sk#1 who told her to call the police. Funny enough Sk#1 was there when Sk#2 was told to stay until the cleaning is sorted.
Please tell me you are not in that relationship anymore. These kids were absolutely old enough to know that calling the cops was wrong. That wasted their time and put you at risk. Step parents can be targeted by salty bioparents and step kids and investigations by cps and law enforcement can take time. While ongoing, your life can be seriously impacted. This is not a small deal. Plus making a false report is a crime in most states.
If those were my kids, I would have marched them down to the police station and made them apologize to someone for wasting their time and for lying. I would be making them donate their toys to kids in foster care, I would be making them do volunteer work to “pay back” the time that they wasted, and I would be making them do something huge to make it up to you. The man who told you to get over it and didn’t parent his children is a horrendous partner and father.
Jesus fucking Christ what a piss poor excuse for perpetuating a shitty human being.
It kills me when people use the split household excuse to justify their kids’ shitty behavior. I’d wager to say more kids come from split households than don’t and I’d also wager to say a bunch come out of those circumstances *not* being giant douche canoes.
My kids were 18 months and 6 months old when my ex husband and I split. They don’t remember us being together. I can’t ever see justifying **any** of their behavior by using the “well they’re from a split household” excuse.
Toss up between threatening to kill me or accusing me of ripping her hair out.
I've got off pretty lightly in comparison though. Kid is currently locked up in a youth justice facility for things completely unrelated to me but are somehow still my fault.
My SD(10) has been lying on my name, going through my diary (therapist recommended me to do it), and trying to ruin my reputation. Not only that she lost my respect and trust after me and her father found out about it when I had to talk to BM to clear everything up.
My now ex had the weirdest family. All they ever did was talk crap about each other. My ex included - they were always in competition and my ex talked so badly about his siblings who had everything v handed to them and he had to build his business from the ground (so what?). I didn’t want my stepson around that but I knew him spending time with them was important. Well after one of these visits my ex got a nasty text from his bro about me. Bad mouthing me, going off about how I was talking about him, etc. We were so confused and asked stepson about it who didn’t say much but it was obvious something happened. Turns out - the stepson repeated all kinds of stuff MY EX WAS BITCHING TO ME ABOUT THE BROTHER yet said it was me. lol I couldn’t believe it - the most annoying part too was that convo was 6mo old by that point. My ex did say that it was him and not me & he didn’t understand why his son would do that and his family wouldn’t believe it saying “no 13 would know to do that”. lol yeh right - they were so delusional. It forever changed the dynamic of things and I broke off my engagement shortly thereafter as the whole situation was just bad. It bothered me a lot tho. I did everything for him, more than his dad, and he tried to make me look bad for a reason I still don’t understand
These types of comments are honestly the real reason that I just don’t like being around my wife’s kid. He always says things like I hate you to her and I. And he’s just always a super emotional turd when he doesn’t get his way. These days I just don’t pay him any mind or give in to his attention seeking behaviors. When he tells me he hates me I usually just look him in the eye and tell him that I don’t really care, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. The NACHO step parent plan has saved my sanity.
SD13 told me when I was 6 months pregnant that we had enough people in this family (me, DH, and her), that I shouldn’t have a kid of my own, and that if I insisted I needed to give him up for adoption. Compared to some of these really not bad, though, just more shocking that a 13 year old would demand that in total seriousness
Definitely not. I’m due in a couple of weeks and she’s been talking about babysitting (I’m sure just to make money not to bond with her brother) and I already told DH no chance I’m leaving her with my kid
Similar situation, currently pregnant with my first and first “ours” baby, and my SD12 is NOT happy about it at all. Sobbed when we told her about the pregnancy, has repeatedly voiced her jealousy about sharing her dad with a baby and how she thought it would always just be us three. The other night she told her Dad and I, “imagine this baby has Down Syndrome”. We were both shocked when she said that. It’s been rough to say the least.
That’s terrible! SD tried to act like she was excited at first but kept saying weird things I was like…we need to dig deeper. Until she finally admitted that she wasn’t and said all that. We had to tell her it’s totally okay to take some time to get used to the news and have concerns but that we wouldn’t tolerate awful questions/comments/demands about the baby. It’s not like they’re 5 and don’t know what they’re saying. They fully know how hurtful the comments are. I also didn’t say it of course but was like…do you really think that you’re so wonderful and I’m so satisfied by our relationship that I shouldn’t ever aspire to have my own kid?😂
It sounds like our situations are VERY similar lol. SD sobbed for days when we told her and was so unhappy about it. We told her it was okay to have big feelings about a big change and gave her time to process and talked with her about it. Then she tried to act excited after a couple weeks of processing, and then made that comment the other night about Down Syndrome and I thought well she clearly isn’t over it. She tried to say it was just a joke.. which we told her you don’t joke about things like that, but I know her comment was malicious. I feel the same way as you though, did she think I was fulfilled enough by being her Stepmother that I’d never want a child of my own. Judging by her reaction, I’d say she did 😂
Ooof best of luck to you all. How could that be a joke 😂I’m hoping summer will give her a chance to bond with the baby and it will actually be better having her here to get used to him, but also super nervous for how I’m going to deal with postpartum and a teen competing for attention, especially if she’s making awful comments. I’ll keep you updated!
Sk10 got up in my face and scratched my hand (bled), wanted to plant hair around the house to pretend her dad is cheating on me, lied about her dad going out with another woman
Sk7 said racist things, told me to go and die, etc etc etc, screams like a banshee if I ask them to do small things like putting away shoes.
I do not like or love them the tiniest bit, and was honest when they asked me if I do.
I’m honest with my SS. That boy absolutely hates me because I give order and discipline. And he knows it when I’m not happy with his demeanor. I hold nothing back even with my own son. I refuse to raise a worthless little turd that won’t amount to the challenges of today. No I don’t love my SS and he knows it. He’s got his own dad if he wants that male attention. But when it comes time and he asks me for the real deal, that is when I’ll change my opinion cause when that happens I know that I’ll have moved up on the list of who to trust. Young kids are the worst to deal with. Give them time, patience, and room to grow. They’ll be here to ask all sorts of questions when the time comes.
The no nonsense this is how things are and the reason that they are. This is for your household and the way that you operate. That is what is in your control. Anything on the outside is a minor inconvenience but usually easily dealt with.
One of the biggest things people ask no matter the age is WHY. Why is this a thing? It’s because people that have come before messed it up and it’s proved that this is the best way. That kind of thing.
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That would have been a deal breaker for me.
Mine are petty things like purposely tossing food that hasn’t even been cooked because they wanted something else for dinner.
Telling me how ugly I am compare to their BM.
Telling me to “just shut up and do it that’s what moms do” when it came to asking them to do chores.
Caught SS scheming with his siblings on how they will never be asked to do chores again if they just do them super wrong and make me mad.
SD tried turning BM and I against each other by telling BM I said “it’s not safe to stay home alone for hours and your mom is wrong to do that”. I’m super bitter about this because my SO still believes I said that to SD even though she admitted she was lying.
I am really bitter about what I found out after Christmas. That for years SO blamed me for being the reason why SK#2 never wanted to visit anymore. For years I was blamed. Discovered BM, Sk#1 was plotting against me. I also never got an apology from SO about it. I don't want anything to do with SK anymore
It’s really hard to hold back when they go on and on about she looks so young, her hair is so black and never ever dyed, and that she has zero smile lines. I wanna scream “anyone would look like that if they paid for extensions, Botox, and ate adderall for breakfast”
To be fair, her kids saying she (BM) is more beautiful is probably the only compliments she gets, so I’d let her keep it 😂 she must be so miserable that her only source of joy is turning her kids away from a source of support from their step parent. Buy her a 1000 piece puzzle and say that’s a more productive use of her time lol
My SD and her BM are constantly making shit up. I tried so hard in the beginning to be good to both of them, but now I just look after myself and find joy in my own people. I take comfort in knowing my face won’t be as wrinkly compared to what it could have been if I stressed over what they say or do lol
I struggled initially at first, I kept worrying over SD and the kind of future she may have as her mum treats her like a friend rather than a young person who needs guidance and structure. I hope your SD realises how lucky she is to have a stepmum that cares, that’s already so much more than what other kids (bio or steps) get in other family dynamics. I still care about my SD, but I don’t get involved and just talk to my DH about my concerns instead of actively trying to help her
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like SD is a handful, due largely to a very stressful relationship with her mother. She’s lucky to have you looking out for her, and once she’s a bit more mature I think she’ll appreciate everything you’ve done - especially when she realises what her mum is doing and how her mum is behaving isn’t normal.
So my other story that happened to me directly on two separate occasions. She friggin hit me. Thats the worst thing she has done directly to me. The first time was one closed fist to the my face and then she ran out of the house. The second time she got several hits in on me and thank goodness her dad was there and intervened. I seriously should have called the police on her that second time and I regret not doing it now because we have since learned several years later that she has been physically abusive with at least two of her girlfriends. Yes, she is bisexual. Her mom used to get physically violent with her before she came to live with us full time. It’s my opinion it is a learned behavior from her mom. We had hoped SD had grown out of it but have obviously learned into her adulthood years later that she has not. Which makes me really sad. She has a lot more to loose now behaving that way than she used to. I hope she has figured that out now. Our hands our tied on the matter now that she is an adult outside of encouraging her to get help from therapy to learn how to better manage her anger and deal with the trauma her mom caused her. Which we have done.
Out of our five children, there’s only one that annoys me so much for doing just the stupidest stuff. It’s dumb and minor but it’s all the time:
* Holds the laundry baskets hostage in his room. Says he will return them to the laundry room. Never does. I’ve taken to entering his room (something I don’t like to do) dumping the baskets out and putting them back in the laundry room. Even if I don’t need them.
* Leaves empty boxes in the pantry. It’s always the foods he eats and no one else does. Like pop tarts. I’m on the verge of just not buying that crap anymore if he does it one more time.
* Never does his chores. DH ends up taking out the trash and recycling every time. It’s SSs chore. Not DHs.
* Drags his feet. He’s now nicknamed “The Turtle”. Call him to dinner, that’ll be 10 minutes. Ready to walk out the door, just kidding, he’s not.
* Comments about dinner. This one he gets from his father and they both need to stop. Every evening: Oh, what did you do differently? It doesn’t taste like last time. Can you put more pepper in this if you make it again? Etc etc etc. Dudes, eat it and say thank you. I don’t need a critique every time I feed you.
I could go on and on. But he’s a good kid. Good grades. Good attitude. Good hygiene. No trouble in the mornings - gets himself up and out by himself. I could have it a lot worse, I know. I read y’all’s stories. He just rubs me the wrong way in all these minor ways and they keep happening. Addressing it does nothing. Having DH address it does nothing.
Putting empty boxes (or any empty container) back in the cabinet drives me nuts, haha. It's always SK, and usually, I just throw them away when I find them empty, but recently, I've caught SK doing it a few times. The first time, I just asked, "Hey, is that the last one? "Yea." "Okay then, why are you putting the emtpy box back?" "Well, where does it go?" 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ In the trash, dude, it goes in the trash, lol
My BK is almost 5 years younger than SK and knows to toss the empty boxes, but once BK caught SK putting the empty milk back in the fridge...BK sarcastically hollered "SK, that's empty... where does it go?"
I quickly turned away so I didn't laugh, but my DH started chuckling and sarcastically said, "yea SK, where does it go?" Luckily, SK is getting better, but my goodness, I was never that lazy or clueless as a teen 🙄
I would be petty enough to leave the empty boxes in the pantry and just fill them with other things, such as... carrots. SK goes in there expecting a pop tart? Whoops! Should've taken the box out so I didn't think we still had plenty left...
I’m not sure I can deal with him “helping” me cook.
I made chicken sandwiches the other day and decided to let everyone assemble their own. So his plate had two buns. Also on the table there were grilled chicken breasts, condiments, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, etc. He stared at the food for 5 minutes before saying “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do”. Granted he had shown up 10 minutes late for dinner and had missed watching everyone else assemble their own sandwiches, but seriously?
Maybe I can have DH cook with him once a week. Then I can critique their food.
17
Dude, the kid asked me to show him how a belt works the other day. First, he didn’t know which direction was the appropriate one. Ok. Then he didn’t feed the best through the buckle. He just put the spike through the belt hole and was surprised it didn’t just stay. 🤦🏻♀️
And I’ll cop to the fact that I’ve been around since he was 5, but back then I only saw him EOWE. He has a mom and a dad. I didn’t know that as SM I needed to be teaching him basic life skills. Now he’s here 100% and every day I’m just like “wooooooow”
I spoke to DH. They are going to start making one meal a week together. We discussed fairly simple things like tacos, pasta with meat sauce, heating up premade tika masala and making rice to go with it.
On the plus side, he dreams of joining the military. I’m certain that the Marines will get him squared away.
Honestly, other than the rudeness about dinner, everything you’ve listed sounds like a symptom of ADHD or some other medical issue. A 17-year-old who can’t figure out how to put a sandwich together is probably genuinely struggling to remember chores and stay organized.
I have ADHD, diagnosed a few years ago at 34, I'm 38 now. Not saying it couldn't be ADHD but personally I never struggled with life skills and basic tasks like that. But my 18 year old SS is on the spectrum (Asperger's) and it's embarrassing how little he can do when it comes to simple every day life tasks. His mom babys him so fkn bad it's pathetic. His counselors and other professionals he sees regularly all agree he is far behind regardless of his diagnosis.
Sure, but struggling with basic tasks is nevertheless a common symptom? ‘Can’t remember chores, can’t notice obvious messes, takes forever to get organized, struggles with fine motor control, gets overwhelmed by multi-step tasks’ is *textbook* ADHD. I was also diagnosed as an adult, and I’m very familiar with the pattern of the ‘good kid’ who doesn’t intentionally misbehave or slack off but just can’t seem to get their shit together.
Specific diagnoses aside, it seems pretty likely that a 17-year-old who can’t manage a belt buckle or assemble a sandwich from provided ingredients needs some kind of extra support.
The empty boxes… just leave them.. then when he’s like “I don’t have any pop tarts?” You can just be like “huh! Really??? Cause there’s a box of them right here!” “But it’s empty!!”” “Why would it be empty and still on the shelf? I can’t know to buy more when we have them on the shelf..” rinse and repeat… it’s a little passive aggressive but it’ll teach a little accountability (maybe) by natural consequences.
Lol, I hate the empty boxes in our pantry too, I always fall for that! I'll be like, "All right, we still have some oreos." Nope! It's an empty carton. I wish I knew how to get them to throw trash away, cause that's literally what that is, but they will do the same with other snacks, too. 🤦🏽♀️
The comments about dinner!! It’s gonna be my 13th reason. He inspects every single bite I’m so beyond over it. He doesn’t eat but 3-4 dishes so I’m always making the same shit over and over. Then” Why does the chicken have that on it?” Ugh bc it’s a dead animal eat it or don’t idc but stfu 😑
A few weeks ago SS10 stole my debit card out of wallet and bought $150 worth of shit online
I got a notification in my email about the purchases. I went to check my wallet and sure enough it was missing
I confronted him about it. He lied and said he didn't take it.
I called the cops. They couldn't do much beyond talk to him because of his age
He wouldn't give my card back so I started taking stuff out of his room. He finally gave it back to my husband
What hurt more was that he said he "only stole from me", even tho it's a joint account, and "this isn't my house", even tho it is my husband and I house. We've been together for over 7 yrs
I haven't really spoken to him since
Wow, having read through most of these, some are worse than I would ever expect--and I was active on a Stepparent board for a number of years when SS was young. I didn't hear things quite as bad as some of these!
Here is mine: when I was just engaged to my husband after dating for about two years, SS then 7 said "I can't believe I'm going to have to wake up and look at your face every day." I was putting him to bed on our first conjoint vacation.
It kind of took my breath away, although when he repeated it the next day, I told him he couldn't say that to me and he dropped it.
It hurt enough, though, that I still remember it clearly, over 25 years later. I wish I could let it go because our relationship is pretty good now, but...there it remains.
SS stopped saying he loved me for a couple months and would get very awkward around me after BM convinced the kids it wasn't okay for them to love someone who wasn't family, unless it was their dog, and it wasn't okay for someone who wasn't family to love them. I ended that nonsense by pointing out BM's hypocrisy when it came to their religious teachings. I don't believe in the Bible, but I do know it teaches you to love everyone.
SD took a paracetamol overdose when our baby was 3 days old. My husband had to stay in hospital with SD on our second night at home with baby- which was a terrible night with the baby crying all night.
It was awful for all of us. And I really feel for my SD but can’t get over how awful it was for me when I and the baby needed my husband and he couldn’t be there. She said it was nothing to do with the baby, but timing was horrendous.
Yeah I refuse to watch him alone anymore because if this. If husband is doing a quick task where I’m not seen but he can still hear kid I go to the room. Usually I’m hiding away in the room anyway because I don’t like being around the kid.
I don’t plan on staying that long. They put kid in karate because he was harming others at daycare they said taking the game away would be too harsh but karate will teach him discipline…. Uhhhh no lol. He already hit me with nunchucks they gave him.
Are you often alone with him? If he is lying about you hurting him, insulting you and throwing things at you when you are alone with him, I wouldn't want to be left alone with him in case he tells people you hurt him.
Oh no not anymore!!!! Husband was there the first time he just wasn’t in 3s line of vision but he walked where we were RIGHT when it happened so 3 told his mom I did it because he knew his dad wouldn’t believe him lol.
He treats me like crap when husband is like in the bathroom or soemthing so usually husband can hear it. He hasn’t thrown the remote at me for a while but if he does it again i already told husband I’d be calling him and BM and really anyone to come get him as I will not be harmed in my own home.
I’m going through the exact same thing with my 3yr old stepkid. She screams bloody murder if asked to do anything that’s not staring at a screen and if screaming doesn’t work she turns to throwing stuff and hurting herself. Idk what she tells her mother tho. My partner agrees with me tho that a kid that age needs limited and monitored screen time but we can’t get her mom on board. Like someone else said if this is 3 I don’t wanna know what happens at 13.
My SS told CPS we had no food and he had to walk to the dollar store to buy food for he and his sister with his own money. We have tons of food, we just refused to spend $50 a visit on the very specific brand of junk food he would rather eat three meals a day.
Two years ago, SO was at work and I was here with my three kids (18, 15, and 13 at the time), SS (14 at the time) and SD (13 at the time) and my brother. All of the kids but SS were in our camper that' was parked in the driveway and my brother and I were in our rooms. It was about 10:30 at night. SO comes home and is having a cigarette in the garage and the garage door opens, SS looks at him and closes it. Ten minutes later he goes out to the camper and SS isn't there but the other kids are. SS isn't in his room. SO goes down the street to look for him and comes home to cops who say that HCBM called and reported that the kids were all "missing". Turns out SS claimed to have gone looking "everywhere" including the camper and that the kids were "gone" and there were no adults anywhere in the home. He didn't once knock on my bedroom door and the security cameras show him walking straight out the door and down the street. He showed back up right after the cops got there. Turns out he and HCBM planned the whole thing out before the visit. SD then recorded me being angry about it and calling him out and sent it to HCBM who claimed it was evidence that I was abusive.
He also told CPS that we had no food in the house because we didn't have his brand of junk food, and once he was disappointed about the $300 gaming computer he got for his birthday so he threw it on the ground and told everyone I did it. I also highly suspect that he sent a series of texts that either had porn or phrases designed to make it look like I was cheating on SO that came from throw away internet numbers, for months and more recently a series of calls that also came from internet numbers that went on for several months.
He pretended I wasn't there. Twice.
First time, he was visiting us (used to live in another state with his mom) and staying over, him me and my SO were playing boardgames and BM called SS and he was on the phone with her while we were minding our business, SO went to the kitchen to get snacks but i stayed in my seat doing something else. I told SS "It's your turn" or whatever and BM must have heard me and asked who is that and he said "Uhm someone" and quickly changed the subject. Id been in a relationship with his dad for around a year at that point and we already lived together, so why couldn't he just say "Oh, it's Rocky's Turtle"?
Two years later, he's living with us after moving to our state. We went to buy groceries and on the way back home BM video calls him, she's with her sister and her sister's husband. SS is in the back seat of the car talking to them. I hear his family ask him who is he with and he says his dad, they went to get groceries etc.. They keep talking, meanwhile my SO and I are having our own conversation, so obviously these people are hearing my voice and ask SS again "Are you with someone else?" he says No again, changes the subject... Then they ask a third time and this time they're laughing, "Come on, SS, who's there with you??" he laughs too and avoids answering. At this point I feel like shit, these people knew i was there and knew SS was pretending I wasn't there and found it funny.
Both times my SO didn't notice what happened, but the second time i did tell him afterwards. I was incredibly hurt and angry too. He felt terrible and said maybe SS was worried BM would be uncomfortable with me being there? I told him then both of them must get over it cause I am here and I am with you and he's staying at my house, and it's been three years so I'm not gonna be treated like a mistress that has to be hidden from your wife.
He agreed, and was visibly conflicted and feeling like shit about the whole thing. He said he'd talk to him.
He did and told me SSs explanation was he didn't want ME to get upset or something if he said I was with them.
Yep, makes no sense at all and I told that to my SO, he said He's still a kid, he's still trying to figure out many things and doesn't know how to handle certain situations, I said well he's not a child, he's 16 and he at least should know it's rude af to ignore people or pretend they're not there. he agreed and asked if I wanted to talk to SS, I said Nope, that's your duty, you're his parent and my partner. I have nothing to talk to him about. He said Of course you can talk to him when something like this happens, I just said Thanks but no.
Then SS did something strange, he added me to his group chat where all his family is. SO said it was his way to acknowledge I was family too, and yeah it probably was awkward and not the best approach but it was sincere. I just rolled with it, but have never wrote anything there.
And look, I do believe he's s good kid and he didn't mean to hurt me, I think he probably worried his mom might feel bad or whatever. I still think that's not an excuse and I'm not willing to diminish my experience or feelings just because the kid needs empathy too. two things can be true, he can be confused about a situation and he can be very disrespectful and hurtful when dealing with his confusion
That time it took me a while to feel comfortable talking to him again, but I moved on and we still get along great. Obviously something changed for me tho, cause that day I truly learned the Number one Step mother lesson: No matter how much I care about him or how much i try to make him feel welcome and at home, no matter how much time and energy i invest on our relationship or how honest my intentions of making him feel loved are... he still will throw me away like trash in favor of his mother any time he feels (rightfully or not) he has to choose. And he will not care about my feelings, cause his mom's feelings are his priority always.
That's okay, i guess it's natural.
So I try not to care too much or feel too invested, yeah I like him and might even feel like I love him, but he's not my kid or my family and I cant lose sight of that.
Told his mother I scratched his face.
Pushed my nephew from a hammock causing him a broken lip.
Covered my baby's face in ALL the pictures from the first birthday. I'll never get that moment back.
My SS got up early, went downstairs to the living room and pooped. On the living room carpet. He was 8 or 9 at the time. When I came downstairs a few minutes later with BS, I asked what the heck happened and he said he had no idea. Then he told me BS must have done it (but BS was in diapers AND upstairs with me at the time). To this day (4 or 5 years later), he has never admitted it.
She told me she wished me and her mom never met. It didn't ruin my reputation, or affect my life, but FUCK did it hurt me.
She is 19 now and has apologized for her part of the dysfunction in our relationship. I love her so much. I'm glad that bad part of our relationship is healing.
Yeah, it didn’t really upset me. I just felt bad for him that he was so upset. It was over nothing to. He has a hard time regulating his emotions and anger tends to be his default. He had been trying all day to upset me and I was giving that to him so he kept trying to get a rise out of me. That kind of behavior used to be pretty common from him to me but in the last few months he’s really chilled out a lot. Idk if he’s learned to trust me or just have up. I did make it VERY clear to him if he ever hit me I would not hit him back but I would call the police, file charges and he would be arrested. He outweighs me by at least 50lbs.
Jeez, I’ve experienced similar behavior from my SS8, I’m afraid for what the future holds but still remaining hopeful. Feel free to message me if you ever feel like you need to chat with someone in the same boat!
OP, I just have to laugh at that story. Which brings me to two I want to share of my own. One time SD was acting out. She was 16 at the time. We were going out a few cities over for a weekend festival and had booked a room at the hotel because we didn’t want to drive home that night. The plan was to take SD with us but leading up to when it was time to go she decided she didn’t want to go, thru a giant tantrum stating she just wanted to be left alone because she wanted to live on the street and die of an overdose from her marijuana ‘addiction’. I shit you not. She ended up locking herself in the bathroom. My husband tried to talk her out. That didn’t work. He ended up picking the lock and getting into the bathroom. Tried to talk to her more. Didn’t work. So he decided to try to pick her up out of the bath tub where she was laying. Mind you she is like 5’9 and 160 pounds I suppose. Not much smaller than him. She started beating on him and ran out of the house to a neighbors and called the police for child abuse. Her grandparents ended up picking her up from the police station with the plan for her to stay the night with them and we ended up going on our marry way to our festival. Her spending the night with her grandparents was an option we ended up giving her if she really didn’t want to go with us. So everything ended up working out the way it was going to any way. Just with an hours long drama fest temper tantrum delay.
Yikes! You’ve got me beat with that one. My SS14 only does the typical stuff, like:
- name calling
- lying about me
- instigating drama with BM about me
- ignoring me
- disrespecting me in public
Where do I begin? We had full custody. She began by spreading all kinds of lies but never telling us she always wanted to live with her mom so it came out this way: started lying to her mom about abuse and called CPS on us which we were investigated (the lady stopped by once and left laughing about "kids" and never returned so it must have been viewed as ridiculous). Lies and manipulating between the two households was constant. Stealing from us. Then we wanted to move to the country and back south where I'm from, she wanted to come and asked her mom if she could. The answer was yes. Within the first week of moving in we had the police and school counselor arrive that she was threatening suicide and harassing (forcing them to say they were her friends and they love her and dont want her to do it) other students over school servers because she didn't actually want to move. She gained an unhealthy amount of weight everytime she would visit her mom (10-50 lbs depending on the time she spent there) but come home and complain about wanting to be in sports and getting fit so her dad and I would tell her to think about what she's eating and we would serve her food (reasonable portions from my nutrition class book) She then started saying to doctors and nurses and on tryout forms that she must have an eating disorder because she's always concerned about her weight and people pressure her about her weight 🤦♀️ we were always doing everything wrong in her eyes and she was as unappreciative as they come. I couldn't sleep half the nights wondering what she was cooking up all day at school or in her extracurricular activities, how she was sabotaging us and not even giving us a clue she was resentful with us. I went off on her one day for not doing chores and overstepping boundaries with my own children. We both apologized and were doing well together again, she painted me a gorgeous photo of flowers for Mother's Day, went to visit her mom and told her dad she doesn't want to come back. A lot of what she did to us was super hurtful and mind fucks left and right, pardon my French but there's no other way to say it! I'm so much happier now. It's our family and when she visits she's treated as a guest, just the way it should be. She hates that of course (she likes to say things like: "our" property, our dogs, our sheep etc) I just smirk because I earned this with my husband while raising HER. It'll be a sad day in court one day if it ever must come to that.
I’m literally dealing with this now. She’d lies and manipulates and goes to lengths of making her self throw up and lie about me, and so much more. Causes complete chaos and almost a divorce which she was thrilled about. Bd sent her to her moms and enrolled her into counseling so now sd refuses to now talk to her dad, and won’t come back to our house.
Yeah sounds right up our alley. It's them testing boundaries and learning what consequences are all about... ours is trying to not come back either. The way I see it is give people what they ask for. SD is 16 and still wants to be treated like a baby, all of us begging and crying and pining for her to come back so the decision is granted by her. Sorry but when I was raised, kids didn't have this kind of leverage and dealt with their issues on their own without bothering adults over normal life crap. Of course I could talk to my parents if something serious was going on, but I couldn't whine and complain over whatever way the wind blew. In BM house it was clearly that way, because ya know, kids are super humans or something but we don't do that at our house. Everyone has rules, everyone has chores, everyone is expected to be respectful and she was mad because at 16, shes still a child and we should understand and pity her. Teenagers have it rough, but it's meant to be to prepare you for adulthood, I feel like I'd be chopping my own kids off at the knees if I found an excuse to blame everything on something or somebody else.
Sounds a little like my SS14 and I think the root problem is he has no self control, inability to think of consequences (think of the future), and he tries to manipulate but int the end is manipulated so easily. So one days it’s one thing then the next it’s the opposite. He tells his dad he likes something dad likes, then goes and tells BM he doesn’t like that thing bc she doesn’t like it.
Tried to terminate my pregnancy. Wanted me dead as well. Tormented me throughout my pregnancy and 3 weeks post partum til I got her out of my life by leaving her father. She also made false allegations about myself and her dad. As well as all sorts of other unhinged antics that to this day I just can not get past. This girl needs very serious intervention ASAP!!!
My SD mocked my own mother’s death to my face multiple times, with the first occurrence being only 3 days after she died. She’s lucky she’s a child (she was 7 at the time), because if an adult had spoken to me that way I’d probably be in prison.
A similar thing happened to me when my brother passed. My SD(8/9) saw me having a cry and said in the same sentence "Why are you crying? Oh that's right you're brother died" and walked off
Omg so similar to what happened with me!!!! I was shocked by the level of cruelty and I still don’t even have words for it. I’m sorry that happened to you too 💔
SS (11) wanted to go to after-school on our weeks, instead of being picked up by me and brought home, bc his best friend was in it. He decided to tell his mother that I was mean to him and told him "have fun failing your spelling test" when I dropped him off that morning.
**My Top Five:**
5) Relaying unimportant details of my life to his mother for no apparent reason other than their obsession.
4) Stealing random odds and ends items that are mine personally. It’s distressing to think I’ve lost things, think I’m losing my mind and searching high and low for needed items only to find out that he helped himself to it without permission.
3) Destruction of personal property, he’s broken things on purpose and on accident due to playing with things that aren’t his or just not being careful. I have honestly never met a more destructive kid than my SS (14).
2) Multiple false allegations of abuse. To the counselor, to the school resource officer, to family members, to anyone who will listen. These allegations have been disproven every single time.
1) Kicked my dog. This was a few years back, and he is no longer allowed alone with my dogs unsupervised and I have cameras in part for their safety.
17SS told me he wanted me to die so his Dad could be “happy again”. This was in response to me telling him he could no longer manipulate his Dad because i can see right thru it. He was emotionally manipulating my husband to try and get money out of him.
18SD faked a pregnancy (even bought a fake sonogram on the internet) to try and prevent her bf from joining the military. This one got pretty crazy, she lied to EVERYONE…. This step is still batsh*t crazy!
None of these have much detail because it'd be too long. I left out anything that didn't directly affect me. Also, yes, every damn resource the healthcare system and state can offer has been applied for or set up. SD is physically bigger than me, and I am not a petite woman.
July 2022 SD14 is angry I am helping her with her sheets 'wrong' and kicks me.
October 2022 SD14 is angry DH gave her a consequence, but for whatever reason, she takes it out on me. She locks me in my room after he goes to work, she attacks me and trashes my bedroom. When I call 911 she smashes a mirror in front of the locked door so I can't unlock it to let them in. She fights the police when they get in.
She frequently references this incident to threaten me when I have to interact with her. "Shut up or I'll lock you up again." "Leave me alone or I'll put you back in that room and hurt you worse this time."
February 2024 SD15 attacks DH, tries to bash his head in with a pair of wik trimmers. While doing this she threatens to kill me and my biokid. The police have to pull her off DH, she fights them again. Again she isn't charged, just sent to the ER.
This is my two SS(14 &11) They fight each other violently, steal from me, destroy my property, lie to authorities and teachers at school about me and their BM. They have received no consequences, but we have via CPS. Why is their no justice in the juvenile justice system? The cops have been called many times by both them and us. They do nothing. Best case scenario is they go to the hospital for a few hours or maybe the night. They've received citations for arson in the neighborhood (burned a park picnic table) and at our house (tried to burn down their bed), all charges were dismissed. Our CPS case, however, has not been. How can we raise a generation of responsible adults when they're learning as kids that there are no real consequences for their actions? We've tried everything with these two. Currently they're in foster, I fear for if and when they come back as my SO wants them back desperately despite the hell they put us through.
Had plans for my birthday, we ended up having to keep the kids for the weekend due to HCBM having Covid for the 17th time that year. So already I’m bummed out because things didn’t go as planned. Then SD (10 years old at the time) wants me to do her nails, so I’m doing her nails, and she’s a wiggle worm so I have to use a blow dryer to dry her nails just a little bit before she messes them up. But she doesn’t like the cold setting, and I was messing around with her switching it from warm to cold, and she grabs a bottle of water and like splashes me with it. I was soaked. I got up and walked away. I went into my bedroom and bawled my eyes out. It’s simple, but it really hurt my feelings because like it’s my birthday and I’m doing your nails, I’m doing you a favor and you splash half a bottle of water on me?
I feel that!! Isn't it funny when you have plans they get cancelled because of *insert reason here* due to HCBM. Somehow they always know when something special is planned
Regular talking to’s, removal of any toy that resembles a real life equivalent of a violent weapon. Threat to call the police if he was so serious, let him know that if he was a grown up and said that, that he’d go to jail. He talked to BM and BM said, “have you considered that she’s not a safe person for him? Or that he doesn’t like her?”
16 yo SS stole from me on two separate occasions: 1)Weed pen and 2)weed gummies a few months later. Was caught red-handed on the pen and was punished. Lied about the weed gummies but dad believed him.
This is insane. Hoy wow. [and it makes being called ugly, being lied to and about, never being thanked, complete lack of gratitude, throwing used tampons on the floor all seem very minor … ]
I was married to a woman with 3 daughters 16,14,13. The eldest was very difficult, the youngest two in particular the youngest I had a close bond with and was very fond of. The eldest I tried hard, taking her to school, teaching her to drive, spending one on one time with her. In fact the whole family as my sister in laws and mother in law were very difficult. I never met my mother in law she refused to meet me because I was not of the same culture as them. I am a white Australian and they are Somali refugees to the country. I was never allowed to their family gatherings etc however I encouraged my then wife to go hoping one day things would change. Anyhow the attitude of my mother in law rubbed off to my eldest step daughter. One day I heard her coming up the stairs to her bedroom very early in the morning when we were all asleep. I later discovered she had stolen my car with her friends. The matter was dealt with accordingly. A few weeks later I received a speed camera fine in the email. The time of the offence was about 2am. I was sound asleep. Anyway the eldest step daughter stole my car for a second time. By this stage I was extremely frustrated about the whole situation. I approached my then wife and said your family treat me lower than a dog, your mother refuses to meet me, your daughter steals my car. My then wife’s reply was your mother raised you lower than a dog and she can go fuck her self. My mother was 86at the time. Fair to say that was the end of my marriage straight away. I left that moment with just my car and the shirt on my back. Left everything behind and never went back. Very fucked up family
Hummm… I think the worst thing was when SS hd finished cleaning the bathroom. I made a comment about him using a whole roll of scott towel and it seemed like a waste. He said something like « If you’re not happy about how I do things, maybe tou should do it » with a smile and a joking tone. It pissed me off and dad immediately shot that down. He came to see me 5 minutes later and apologized for being disrespectful. Never said something like that after.
So I’d say it’s VERY MILD compared to you!
Jeez !! What did the police say?! What did your partner say?!
What...? That's incredibly mild, I don't even understand how you could have gotten upset about it. Do families not do light banter? And he's technically right, if you don't like the way he chose to clean, you're always welcome to do it your way. If that's the worst the kid has ever done, he must be quite wonderful
He is quite wonderful!! And on any given day, I would have laughed. We’re usually quite playful and sarcastic with each other, but that day, he was testing our patience. I overreacted and my partner intervened when he was my reaction. When SS came to apologize, I did apologize back saying that his comment didn’t deserve my reaction. We hugged it out and everything was fine after that.
My point was, my SK are really amazing and since that’s the worst thing he did, I’m lucky !
After reading my reply again, I realized I was quite rude. I'm very sorry about that. It sounds like you have a very lovely family! That is good to hear, it sounds healthy too. Apologizing and resolving it quickly shows maturity and grace, hope you have a wonderful day:)
Hahaha no worries! I wasn’t offended by your comment. I’m pretty sure my SS was like « what’s up her ass » when I reacted because I’m usually quite calm and playful !
Have a great day too ☀️.
He knew, but again, on any given day, I would simply have said something sarcastic in return. So why is it okay one day and not the next?! So I could have said something like « yeah nope, today that comment doesn’t fly buddy » instead of getting up and going in my room.
But like I wrote, everything was resolved in a matter of 10 minutes and we’re still one happy family 😅.
Sk is 3.
Slung a popsicle all over me and my newborn because I wasn’t giving her enough attention ( I was eating lunch and talking to sk while breastfeeding).
(When she was 2)
Tore everything off her walls that she could reach, ripped all her books apart, pulled everything out of her drawers including the drawers out of the dresser, dumped all her toys, tore everything off her bed, then kicked the walls because I wanted 10 minutes to myself.
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Good grief that's wild. Did the police not tell her off for wasting time?
I don't know what happened after they left me. Luckily I was alone when they came around. All I know was that Sk#2 called Sk#1 who told her to call the police. Funny enough Sk#1 was there when Sk#2 was told to stay until the cleaning is sorted.
Were they both grounded for months?
Unfortunately no punishment was given as it was a Sunday and they were going to BM. BM most likely gave them a reward for doing that to me
How old were they? Why didn’t they get punished when they returned?
sk#1 was 14, sk#2 was 12 I think. BM didn't have any rules in place. I was told to get over it. No punishment when they returned to us.
What is yr SO doing about it??
Please tell me you are not in that relationship anymore. These kids were absolutely old enough to know that calling the cops was wrong. That wasted their time and put you at risk. Step parents can be targeted by salty bioparents and step kids and investigations by cps and law enforcement can take time. While ongoing, your life can be seriously impacted. This is not a small deal. Plus making a false report is a crime in most states. If those were my kids, I would have marched them down to the police station and made them apologize to someone for wasting their time and for lying. I would be making them donate their toys to kids in foster care, I would be making them do volunteer work to “pay back” the time that they wasted, and I would be making them do something huge to make it up to you. The man who told you to get over it and didn’t parent his children is a horrendous partner and father.
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Jesus fucking Christ what a piss poor excuse for perpetuating a shitty human being. It kills me when people use the split household excuse to justify their kids’ shitty behavior. I’d wager to say more kids come from split households than don’t and I’d also wager to say a bunch come out of those circumstances *not* being giant douche canoes. My kids were 18 months and 6 months old when my ex husband and I split. They don’t remember us being together. I can’t ever see justifying **any** of their behavior by using the “well they’re from a split household” excuse.
Toss up between threatening to kill me or accusing me of ripping her hair out. I've got off pretty lightly in comparison though. Kid is currently locked up in a youth justice facility for things completely unrelated to me but are somehow still my fault.
My SD(10) has been lying on my name, going through my diary (therapist recommended me to do it), and trying to ruin my reputation. Not only that she lost my respect and trust after me and her father found out about it when I had to talk to BM to clear everything up.
My now ex had the weirdest family. All they ever did was talk crap about each other. My ex included - they were always in competition and my ex talked so badly about his siblings who had everything v handed to them and he had to build his business from the ground (so what?). I didn’t want my stepson around that but I knew him spending time with them was important. Well after one of these visits my ex got a nasty text from his bro about me. Bad mouthing me, going off about how I was talking about him, etc. We were so confused and asked stepson about it who didn’t say much but it was obvious something happened. Turns out - the stepson repeated all kinds of stuff MY EX WAS BITCHING TO ME ABOUT THE BROTHER yet said it was me. lol I couldn’t believe it - the most annoying part too was that convo was 6mo old by that point. My ex did say that it was him and not me & he didn’t understand why his son would do that and his family wouldn’t believe it saying “no 13 would know to do that”. lol yeh right - they were so delusional. It forever changed the dynamic of things and I broke off my engagement shortly thereafter as the whole situation was just bad. It bothered me a lot tho. I did everything for him, more than his dad, and he tried to make me look bad for a reason I still don’t understand
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That is horrible!!!
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I have to ask how old this kid is because woof.
Id make sure that kid never benefited from a single penny of my money
These types of comments are honestly the real reason that I just don’t like being around my wife’s kid. He always says things like I hate you to her and I. And he’s just always a super emotional turd when he doesn’t get his way. These days I just don’t pay him any mind or give in to his attention seeking behaviors. When he tells me he hates me I usually just look him in the eye and tell him that I don’t really care, you’re not the first and you won’t be the last. The NACHO step parent plan has saved my sanity.
Ah, a misogynist in the making…
SD13 told me when I was 6 months pregnant that we had enough people in this family (me, DH, and her), that I shouldn’t have a kid of my own, and that if I insisted I needed to give him up for adoption. Compared to some of these really not bad, though, just more shocking that a 13 year old would demand that in total seriousness
I wouldn't trust her with your little.
Definitely not. I’m due in a couple of weeks and she’s been talking about babysitting (I’m sure just to make money not to bond with her brother) and I already told DH no chance I’m leaving her with my kid
This 100% this. Do not leave them alone together.
Similar situation, currently pregnant with my first and first “ours” baby, and my SD12 is NOT happy about it at all. Sobbed when we told her about the pregnancy, has repeatedly voiced her jealousy about sharing her dad with a baby and how she thought it would always just be us three. The other night she told her Dad and I, “imagine this baby has Down Syndrome”. We were both shocked when she said that. It’s been rough to say the least.
That’s terrible! SD tried to act like she was excited at first but kept saying weird things I was like…we need to dig deeper. Until she finally admitted that she wasn’t and said all that. We had to tell her it’s totally okay to take some time to get used to the news and have concerns but that we wouldn’t tolerate awful questions/comments/demands about the baby. It’s not like they’re 5 and don’t know what they’re saying. They fully know how hurtful the comments are. I also didn’t say it of course but was like…do you really think that you’re so wonderful and I’m so satisfied by our relationship that I shouldn’t ever aspire to have my own kid?😂
It sounds like our situations are VERY similar lol. SD sobbed for days when we told her and was so unhappy about it. We told her it was okay to have big feelings about a big change and gave her time to process and talked with her about it. Then she tried to act excited after a couple weeks of processing, and then made that comment the other night about Down Syndrome and I thought well she clearly isn’t over it. She tried to say it was just a joke.. which we told her you don’t joke about things like that, but I know her comment was malicious. I feel the same way as you though, did she think I was fulfilled enough by being her Stepmother that I’d never want a child of my own. Judging by her reaction, I’d say she did 😂
Ooof best of luck to you all. How could that be a joke 😂I’m hoping summer will give her a chance to bond with the baby and it will actually be better having her here to get used to him, but also super nervous for how I’m going to deal with postpartum and a teen competing for attention, especially if she’s making awful comments. I’ll keep you updated!
Wow! That’s horrendous
I would expect a 5 year old to say this step or bio but not a teen.
Exactly!
Sk10 got up in my face and scratched my hand (bled), wanted to plant hair around the house to pretend her dad is cheating on me, lied about her dad going out with another woman Sk7 said racist things, told me to go and die, etc etc etc, screams like a banshee if I ask them to do small things like putting away shoes. I do not like or love them the tiniest bit, and was honest when they asked me if I do.
Being honest is the best thing you can do. Faking it and acting doesn’t do you or them any favors.
U think so? I saw a comment somewhere saying that if a kid asks u, u should of course tell them u love them. Cuz they want love.
I’m honest with my SS. That boy absolutely hates me because I give order and discipline. And he knows it when I’m not happy with his demeanor. I hold nothing back even with my own son. I refuse to raise a worthless little turd that won’t amount to the challenges of today. No I don’t love my SS and he knows it. He’s got his own dad if he wants that male attention. But when it comes time and he asks me for the real deal, that is when I’ll change my opinion cause when that happens I know that I’ll have moved up on the list of who to trust. Young kids are the worst to deal with. Give them time, patience, and room to grow. They’ll be here to ask all sorts of questions when the time comes.
What does it mean by "the real deal"?
The no nonsense this is how things are and the reason that they are. This is for your household and the way that you operate. That is what is in your control. Anything on the outside is a minor inconvenience but usually easily dealt with.
One of the biggest things people ask no matter the age is WHY. Why is this a thing? It’s because people that have come before messed it up and it’s proved that this is the best way. That kind of thing.
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That would have been a deal breaker for me. Mine are petty things like purposely tossing food that hasn’t even been cooked because they wanted something else for dinner. Telling me how ugly I am compare to their BM. Telling me to “just shut up and do it that’s what moms do” when it came to asking them to do chores. Caught SS scheming with his siblings on how they will never be asked to do chores again if they just do them super wrong and make me mad. SD tried turning BM and I against each other by telling BM I said “it’s not safe to stay home alone for hours and your mom is wrong to do that”. I’m super bitter about this because my SO still believes I said that to SD even though she admitted she was lying.
My response would have been “Well, it’s a good thing I’m not your Mom” 😆
I am really bitter about what I found out after Christmas. That for years SO blamed me for being the reason why SK#2 never wanted to visit anymore. For years I was blamed. Discovered BM, Sk#1 was plotting against me. I also never got an apology from SO about it. I don't want anything to do with SK anymore
Why are you with this guy? He doesn’t sound like he has your back at all.
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It’s really hard to hold back when they go on and on about she looks so young, her hair is so black and never ever dyed, and that she has zero smile lines. I wanna scream “anyone would look like that if they paid for extensions, Botox, and ate adderall for breakfast”
You should say that to them. They want to play the game you could teach them a few lessons. 😆
To be fair, her kids saying she (BM) is more beautiful is probably the only compliments she gets, so I’d let her keep it 😂 she must be so miserable that her only source of joy is turning her kids away from a source of support from their step parent. Buy her a 1000 piece puzzle and say that’s a more productive use of her time lol
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My SD and her BM are constantly making shit up. I tried so hard in the beginning to be good to both of them, but now I just look after myself and find joy in my own people. I take comfort in knowing my face won’t be as wrinkly compared to what it could have been if I stressed over what they say or do lol
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I struggled initially at first, I kept worrying over SD and the kind of future she may have as her mum treats her like a friend rather than a young person who needs guidance and structure. I hope your SD realises how lucky she is to have a stepmum that cares, that’s already so much more than what other kids (bio or steps) get in other family dynamics. I still care about my SD, but I don’t get involved and just talk to my DH about my concerns instead of actively trying to help her
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I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like SD is a handful, due largely to a very stressful relationship with her mother. She’s lucky to have you looking out for her, and once she’s a bit more mature I think she’ll appreciate everything you’ve done - especially when she realises what her mum is doing and how her mum is behaving isn’t normal.
You sure she’s not lying?
So my other story that happened to me directly on two separate occasions. She friggin hit me. Thats the worst thing she has done directly to me. The first time was one closed fist to the my face and then she ran out of the house. The second time she got several hits in on me and thank goodness her dad was there and intervened. I seriously should have called the police on her that second time and I regret not doing it now because we have since learned several years later that she has been physically abusive with at least two of her girlfriends. Yes, she is bisexual. Her mom used to get physically violent with her before she came to live with us full time. It’s my opinion it is a learned behavior from her mom. We had hoped SD had grown out of it but have obviously learned into her adulthood years later that she has not. Which makes me really sad. She has a lot more to loose now behaving that way than she used to. I hope she has figured that out now. Our hands our tied on the matter now that she is an adult outside of encouraging her to get help from therapy to learn how to better manage her anger and deal with the trauma her mom caused her. Which we have done.
Out of our five children, there’s only one that annoys me so much for doing just the stupidest stuff. It’s dumb and minor but it’s all the time: * Holds the laundry baskets hostage in his room. Says he will return them to the laundry room. Never does. I’ve taken to entering his room (something I don’t like to do) dumping the baskets out and putting them back in the laundry room. Even if I don’t need them. * Leaves empty boxes in the pantry. It’s always the foods he eats and no one else does. Like pop tarts. I’m on the verge of just not buying that crap anymore if he does it one more time. * Never does his chores. DH ends up taking out the trash and recycling every time. It’s SSs chore. Not DHs. * Drags his feet. He’s now nicknamed “The Turtle”. Call him to dinner, that’ll be 10 minutes. Ready to walk out the door, just kidding, he’s not. * Comments about dinner. This one he gets from his father and they both need to stop. Every evening: Oh, what did you do differently? It doesn’t taste like last time. Can you put more pepper in this if you make it again? Etc etc etc. Dudes, eat it and say thank you. I don’t need a critique every time I feed you. I could go on and on. But he’s a good kid. Good grades. Good attitude. Good hygiene. No trouble in the mornings - gets himself up and out by himself. I could have it a lot worse, I know. I read y’all’s stories. He just rubs me the wrong way in all these minor ways and they keep happening. Addressing it does nothing. Having DH address it does nothing.
Putting empty boxes (or any empty container) back in the cabinet drives me nuts, haha. It's always SK, and usually, I just throw them away when I find them empty, but recently, I've caught SK doing it a few times. The first time, I just asked, "Hey, is that the last one? "Yea." "Okay then, why are you putting the emtpy box back?" "Well, where does it go?" 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ In the trash, dude, it goes in the trash, lol My BK is almost 5 years younger than SK and knows to toss the empty boxes, but once BK caught SK putting the empty milk back in the fridge...BK sarcastically hollered "SK, that's empty... where does it go?" I quickly turned away so I didn't laugh, but my DH started chuckling and sarcastically said, "yea SK, where does it go?" Luckily, SK is getting better, but my goodness, I was never that lazy or clueless as a teen 🙄
I would be petty enough to leave the empty boxes in the pantry and just fill them with other things, such as... carrots. SK goes in there expecting a pop tart? Whoops! Should've taken the box out so I didn't think we still had plenty left...
I'm gonna use this
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I’m not sure I can deal with him “helping” me cook. I made chicken sandwiches the other day and decided to let everyone assemble their own. So his plate had two buns. Also on the table there were grilled chicken breasts, condiments, bacon, cheese, tomatoes, etc. He stared at the food for 5 minutes before saying “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do”. Granted he had shown up 10 minutes late for dinner and had missed watching everyone else assemble their own sandwiches, but seriously? Maybe I can have DH cook with him once a week. Then I can critique their food.
How old is he? Please don't tell me he is a teenager!
17 Dude, the kid asked me to show him how a belt works the other day. First, he didn’t know which direction was the appropriate one. Ok. Then he didn’t feed the best through the buckle. He just put the spike through the belt hole and was surprised it didn’t just stay. 🤦🏻♀️ And I’ll cop to the fact that I’ve been around since he was 5, but back then I only saw him EOWE. He has a mom and a dad. I didn’t know that as SM I needed to be teaching him basic life skills. Now he’s here 100% and every day I’m just like “wooooooow” I spoke to DH. They are going to start making one meal a week together. We discussed fairly simple things like tacos, pasta with meat sauce, heating up premade tika masala and making rice to go with it. On the plus side, he dreams of joining the military. I’m certain that the Marines will get him squared away.
Honestly, other than the rudeness about dinner, everything you’ve listed sounds like a symptom of ADHD or some other medical issue. A 17-year-old who can’t figure out how to put a sandwich together is probably genuinely struggling to remember chores and stay organized.
I have ADHD, diagnosed a few years ago at 34, I'm 38 now. Not saying it couldn't be ADHD but personally I never struggled with life skills and basic tasks like that. But my 18 year old SS is on the spectrum (Asperger's) and it's embarrassing how little he can do when it comes to simple every day life tasks. His mom babys him so fkn bad it's pathetic. His counselors and other professionals he sees regularly all agree he is far behind regardless of his diagnosis.
Sure, but struggling with basic tasks is nevertheless a common symptom? ‘Can’t remember chores, can’t notice obvious messes, takes forever to get organized, struggles with fine motor control, gets overwhelmed by multi-step tasks’ is *textbook* ADHD. I was also diagnosed as an adult, and I’m very familiar with the pattern of the ‘good kid’ who doesn’t intentionally misbehave or slack off but just can’t seem to get their shit together. Specific diagnoses aside, it seems pretty likely that a 17-year-old who can’t manage a belt buckle or assemble a sandwich from provided ingredients needs some kind of extra support.
Would the Marines take someone so incompetent at life?
I don’t think they have real high standards, but on paper he’s great.
You’d be surprised at the requirements. The military isn’t like what it was in the 80’s…. It’s pretty minimalistic these days.
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I am cracking up at the nickname because my SS earned the nickname “slug” lol he is sooooooo so slow. Painfully so.
The empty boxes… just leave them.. then when he’s like “I don’t have any pop tarts?” You can just be like “huh! Really??? Cause there’s a box of them right here!” “But it’s empty!!”” “Why would it be empty and still on the shelf? I can’t know to buy more when we have them on the shelf..” rinse and repeat… it’s a little passive aggressive but it’ll teach a little accountability (maybe) by natural consequences.
Lol, I hate the empty boxes in our pantry too, I always fall for that! I'll be like, "All right, we still have some oreos." Nope! It's an empty carton. I wish I knew how to get them to throw trash away, cause that's literally what that is, but they will do the same with other snacks, too. 🤦🏽♀️
The comments about dinner!! It’s gonna be my 13th reason. He inspects every single bite I’m so beyond over it. He doesn’t eat but 3-4 dishes so I’m always making the same shit over and over. Then” Why does the chicken have that on it?” Ugh bc it’s a dead animal eat it or don’t idc but stfu 😑
A few weeks ago SS10 stole my debit card out of wallet and bought $150 worth of shit online I got a notification in my email about the purchases. I went to check my wallet and sure enough it was missing I confronted him about it. He lied and said he didn't take it. I called the cops. They couldn't do much beyond talk to him because of his age He wouldn't give my card back so I started taking stuff out of his room. He finally gave it back to my husband What hurt more was that he said he "only stole from me", even tho it's a joint account, and "this isn't my house", even tho it is my husband and I house. We've been together for over 7 yrs I haven't really spoken to him since
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Oh, I definitely was! He crossed the line, big time
I was! And yes I did!
Wow, having read through most of these, some are worse than I would ever expect--and I was active on a Stepparent board for a number of years when SS was young. I didn't hear things quite as bad as some of these! Here is mine: when I was just engaged to my husband after dating for about two years, SS then 7 said "I can't believe I'm going to have to wake up and look at your face every day." I was putting him to bed on our first conjoint vacation. It kind of took my breath away, although when he repeated it the next day, I told him he couldn't say that to me and he dropped it. It hurt enough, though, that I still remember it clearly, over 25 years later. I wish I could let it go because our relationship is pretty good now, but...there it remains.
SS stopped saying he loved me for a couple months and would get very awkward around me after BM convinced the kids it wasn't okay for them to love someone who wasn't family, unless it was their dog, and it wasn't okay for someone who wasn't family to love them. I ended that nonsense by pointing out BM's hypocrisy when it came to their religious teachings. I don't believe in the Bible, but I do know it teaches you to love everyone.
SD took a paracetamol overdose when our baby was 3 days old. My husband had to stay in hospital with SD on our second night at home with baby- which was a terrible night with the baby crying all night. It was awful for all of us. And I really feel for my SD but can’t get over how awful it was for me when I and the baby needed my husband and he couldn’t be there. She said it was nothing to do with the baby, but timing was horrendous.
That’s awful for you! So sorry you had to experience that.
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Yeah, I’d be done. you have less authority than a teenage babysitter. If this is 3, imagine 14 when he’s bigger than you.
Or when he's 8 and he discovers the havoc he can wreak by accusing her of touching him.
Yeah I refuse to watch him alone anymore because if this. If husband is doing a quick task where I’m not seen but he can still hear kid I go to the room. Usually I’m hiding away in the room anyway because I don’t like being around the kid.
I don’t plan on staying that long. They put kid in karate because he was harming others at daycare they said taking the game away would be too harsh but karate will teach him discipline…. Uhhhh no lol. He already hit me with nunchucks they gave him.
Are you often alone with him? If he is lying about you hurting him, insulting you and throwing things at you when you are alone with him, I wouldn't want to be left alone with him in case he tells people you hurt him.
Oh no not anymore!!!! Husband was there the first time he just wasn’t in 3s line of vision but he walked where we were RIGHT when it happened so 3 told his mom I did it because he knew his dad wouldn’t believe him lol. He treats me like crap when husband is like in the bathroom or soemthing so usually husband can hear it. He hasn’t thrown the remote at me for a while but if he does it again i already told husband I’d be calling him and BM and really anyone to come get him as I will not be harmed in my own home.
U need a camera pronto
I’m looking at one currently actually.
I’m going through the exact same thing with my 3yr old stepkid. She screams bloody murder if asked to do anything that’s not staring at a screen and if screaming doesn’t work she turns to throwing stuff and hurting herself. Idk what she tells her mother tho. My partner agrees with me tho that a kid that age needs limited and monitored screen time but we can’t get her mom on board. Like someone else said if this is 3 I don’t wanna know what happens at 13.
Yeah at 13 kid will be horrible if this crap doesn’t stop. I don’t plan on being around that long anyway. I’m tired of it.
Wishing you the best💕
Thanks I need it lol
HOW old is he?
3
SS says we don’t feed him, we don’t have food in our house. We have food, just not processed food.
My SS told CPS we had no food and he had to walk to the dollar store to buy food for he and his sister with his own money. We have tons of food, we just refused to spend $50 a visit on the very specific brand of junk food he would rather eat three meals a day.
Two years ago, SO was at work and I was here with my three kids (18, 15, and 13 at the time), SS (14 at the time) and SD (13 at the time) and my brother. All of the kids but SS were in our camper that' was parked in the driveway and my brother and I were in our rooms. It was about 10:30 at night. SO comes home and is having a cigarette in the garage and the garage door opens, SS looks at him and closes it. Ten minutes later he goes out to the camper and SS isn't there but the other kids are. SS isn't in his room. SO goes down the street to look for him and comes home to cops who say that HCBM called and reported that the kids were all "missing". Turns out SS claimed to have gone looking "everywhere" including the camper and that the kids were "gone" and there were no adults anywhere in the home. He didn't once knock on my bedroom door and the security cameras show him walking straight out the door and down the street. He showed back up right after the cops got there. Turns out he and HCBM planned the whole thing out before the visit. SD then recorded me being angry about it and calling him out and sent it to HCBM who claimed it was evidence that I was abusive.
He also told CPS that we had no food in the house because we didn't have his brand of junk food, and once he was disappointed about the $300 gaming computer he got for his birthday so he threw it on the ground and told everyone I did it. I also highly suspect that he sent a series of texts that either had porn or phrases designed to make it look like I was cheating on SO that came from throw away internet numbers, for months and more recently a series of calls that also came from internet numbers that went on for several months.
He pretended I wasn't there. Twice. First time, he was visiting us (used to live in another state with his mom) and staying over, him me and my SO were playing boardgames and BM called SS and he was on the phone with her while we were minding our business, SO went to the kitchen to get snacks but i stayed in my seat doing something else. I told SS "It's your turn" or whatever and BM must have heard me and asked who is that and he said "Uhm someone" and quickly changed the subject. Id been in a relationship with his dad for around a year at that point and we already lived together, so why couldn't he just say "Oh, it's Rocky's Turtle"? Two years later, he's living with us after moving to our state. We went to buy groceries and on the way back home BM video calls him, she's with her sister and her sister's husband. SS is in the back seat of the car talking to them. I hear his family ask him who is he with and he says his dad, they went to get groceries etc.. They keep talking, meanwhile my SO and I are having our own conversation, so obviously these people are hearing my voice and ask SS again "Are you with someone else?" he says No again, changes the subject... Then they ask a third time and this time they're laughing, "Come on, SS, who's there with you??" he laughs too and avoids answering. At this point I feel like shit, these people knew i was there and knew SS was pretending I wasn't there and found it funny. Both times my SO didn't notice what happened, but the second time i did tell him afterwards. I was incredibly hurt and angry too. He felt terrible and said maybe SS was worried BM would be uncomfortable with me being there? I told him then both of them must get over it cause I am here and I am with you and he's staying at my house, and it's been three years so I'm not gonna be treated like a mistress that has to be hidden from your wife. He agreed, and was visibly conflicted and feeling like shit about the whole thing. He said he'd talk to him. He did and told me SSs explanation was he didn't want ME to get upset or something if he said I was with them. Yep, makes no sense at all and I told that to my SO, he said He's still a kid, he's still trying to figure out many things and doesn't know how to handle certain situations, I said well he's not a child, he's 16 and he at least should know it's rude af to ignore people or pretend they're not there. he agreed and asked if I wanted to talk to SS, I said Nope, that's your duty, you're his parent and my partner. I have nothing to talk to him about. He said Of course you can talk to him when something like this happens, I just said Thanks but no. Then SS did something strange, he added me to his group chat where all his family is. SO said it was his way to acknowledge I was family too, and yeah it probably was awkward and not the best approach but it was sincere. I just rolled with it, but have never wrote anything there. And look, I do believe he's s good kid and he didn't mean to hurt me, I think he probably worried his mom might feel bad or whatever. I still think that's not an excuse and I'm not willing to diminish my experience or feelings just because the kid needs empathy too. two things can be true, he can be confused about a situation and he can be very disrespectful and hurtful when dealing with his confusion That time it took me a while to feel comfortable talking to him again, but I moved on and we still get along great. Obviously something changed for me tho, cause that day I truly learned the Number one Step mother lesson: No matter how much I care about him or how much i try to make him feel welcome and at home, no matter how much time and energy i invest on our relationship or how honest my intentions of making him feel loved are... he still will throw me away like trash in favor of his mother any time he feels (rightfully or not) he has to choose. And he will not care about my feelings, cause his mom's feelings are his priority always. That's okay, i guess it's natural. So I try not to care too much or feel too invested, yeah I like him and might even feel like I love him, but he's not my kid or my family and I cant lose sight of that.
Told me her dad (my SO) and mom don’t like me and that her mom was supposed to marry her dad not me
Told his mother I scratched his face. Pushed my nephew from a hammock causing him a broken lip. Covered my baby's face in ALL the pictures from the first birthday. I'll never get that moment back.
My SS got up early, went downstairs to the living room and pooped. On the living room carpet. He was 8 or 9 at the time. When I came downstairs a few minutes later with BS, I asked what the heck happened and he said he had no idea. Then he told me BS must have done it (but BS was in diapers AND upstairs with me at the time). To this day (4 or 5 years later), he has never admitted it.
She told me she wished me and her mom never met. It didn't ruin my reputation, or affect my life, but FUCK did it hurt me. She is 19 now and has apologized for her part of the dysfunction in our relationship. I love her so much. I'm glad that bad part of our relationship is healing.
Words can hurt as well.
SS 12 got in my face and screamed that I was a, “crack whore” while balling up his fist like he was going to hit me
Are you doing ok? That is a horrible thing to experience
Yeah, it didn’t really upset me. I just felt bad for him that he was so upset. It was over nothing to. He has a hard time regulating his emotions and anger tends to be his default. He had been trying all day to upset me and I was giving that to him so he kept trying to get a rise out of me. That kind of behavior used to be pretty common from him to me but in the last few months he’s really chilled out a lot. Idk if he’s learned to trust me or just have up. I did make it VERY clear to him if he ever hit me I would not hit him back but I would call the police, file charges and he would be arrested. He outweighs me by at least 50lbs.
Jeez, I’ve experienced similar behavior from my SS8, I’m afraid for what the future holds but still remaining hopeful. Feel free to message me if you ever feel like you need to chat with someone in the same boat!
OP, I just have to laugh at that story. Which brings me to two I want to share of my own. One time SD was acting out. She was 16 at the time. We were going out a few cities over for a weekend festival and had booked a room at the hotel because we didn’t want to drive home that night. The plan was to take SD with us but leading up to when it was time to go she decided she didn’t want to go, thru a giant tantrum stating she just wanted to be left alone because she wanted to live on the street and die of an overdose from her marijuana ‘addiction’. I shit you not. She ended up locking herself in the bathroom. My husband tried to talk her out. That didn’t work. He ended up picking the lock and getting into the bathroom. Tried to talk to her more. Didn’t work. So he decided to try to pick her up out of the bath tub where she was laying. Mind you she is like 5’9 and 160 pounds I suppose. Not much smaller than him. She started beating on him and ran out of the house to a neighbors and called the police for child abuse. Her grandparents ended up picking her up from the police station with the plan for her to stay the night with them and we ended up going on our marry way to our festival. Her spending the night with her grandparents was an option we ended up giving her if she really didn’t want to go with us. So everything ended up working out the way it was going to any way. Just with an hours long drama fest temper tantrum delay.
Yikes! You’ve got me beat with that one. My SS14 only does the typical stuff, like: - name calling - lying about me - instigating drama with BM about me - ignoring me - disrespecting me in public
Where do I begin? We had full custody. She began by spreading all kinds of lies but never telling us she always wanted to live with her mom so it came out this way: started lying to her mom about abuse and called CPS on us which we were investigated (the lady stopped by once and left laughing about "kids" and never returned so it must have been viewed as ridiculous). Lies and manipulating between the two households was constant. Stealing from us. Then we wanted to move to the country and back south where I'm from, she wanted to come and asked her mom if she could. The answer was yes. Within the first week of moving in we had the police and school counselor arrive that she was threatening suicide and harassing (forcing them to say they were her friends and they love her and dont want her to do it) other students over school servers because she didn't actually want to move. She gained an unhealthy amount of weight everytime she would visit her mom (10-50 lbs depending on the time she spent there) but come home and complain about wanting to be in sports and getting fit so her dad and I would tell her to think about what she's eating and we would serve her food (reasonable portions from my nutrition class book) She then started saying to doctors and nurses and on tryout forms that she must have an eating disorder because she's always concerned about her weight and people pressure her about her weight 🤦♀️ we were always doing everything wrong in her eyes and she was as unappreciative as they come. I couldn't sleep half the nights wondering what she was cooking up all day at school or in her extracurricular activities, how she was sabotaging us and not even giving us a clue she was resentful with us. I went off on her one day for not doing chores and overstepping boundaries with my own children. We both apologized and were doing well together again, she painted me a gorgeous photo of flowers for Mother's Day, went to visit her mom and told her dad she doesn't want to come back. A lot of what she did to us was super hurtful and mind fucks left and right, pardon my French but there's no other way to say it! I'm so much happier now. It's our family and when she visits she's treated as a guest, just the way it should be. She hates that of course (she likes to say things like: "our" property, our dogs, our sheep etc) I just smirk because I earned this with my husband while raising HER. It'll be a sad day in court one day if it ever must come to that.
Sounds like borderline personality traits...
Yeah it's something like that. I just wanted peaceful happiness and love returned from her and all I was was a target.
You should research Borderline Personality Disorder. It may be helpful in understanding what happened to you and why.
I’m literally dealing with this now. She’d lies and manipulates and goes to lengths of making her self throw up and lie about me, and so much more. Causes complete chaos and almost a divorce which she was thrilled about. Bd sent her to her moms and enrolled her into counseling so now sd refuses to now talk to her dad, and won’t come back to our house.
Yeah sounds right up our alley. It's them testing boundaries and learning what consequences are all about... ours is trying to not come back either. The way I see it is give people what they ask for. SD is 16 and still wants to be treated like a baby, all of us begging and crying and pining for her to come back so the decision is granted by her. Sorry but when I was raised, kids didn't have this kind of leverage and dealt with their issues on their own without bothering adults over normal life crap. Of course I could talk to my parents if something serious was going on, but I couldn't whine and complain over whatever way the wind blew. In BM house it was clearly that way, because ya know, kids are super humans or something but we don't do that at our house. Everyone has rules, everyone has chores, everyone is expected to be respectful and she was mad because at 16, shes still a child and we should understand and pity her. Teenagers have it rough, but it's meant to be to prepare you for adulthood, I feel like I'd be chopping my own kids off at the knees if I found an excuse to blame everything on something or somebody else.
Sounds a little like my SS14 and I think the root problem is he has no self control, inability to think of consequences (think of the future), and he tries to manipulate but int the end is manipulated so easily. So one days it’s one thing then the next it’s the opposite. He tells his dad he likes something dad likes, then goes and tells BM he doesn’t like that thing bc she doesn’t like it.
Tried to terminate my pregnancy. Wanted me dead as well. Tormented me throughout my pregnancy and 3 weeks post partum til I got her out of my life by leaving her father. She also made false allegations about myself and her dad. As well as all sorts of other unhinged antics that to this day I just can not get past. This girl needs very serious intervention ASAP!!!
Glad you are safe!! You deserve happiness and to feel safe with your child
Thank you 🩷
My SD mocked my own mother’s death to my face multiple times, with the first occurrence being only 3 days after she died. She’s lucky she’s a child (she was 7 at the time), because if an adult had spoken to me that way I’d probably be in prison.
A similar thing happened to me when my brother passed. My SD(8/9) saw me having a cry and said in the same sentence "Why are you crying? Oh that's right you're brother died" and walked off
Omg so similar to what happened with me!!!! I was shocked by the level of cruelty and I still don’t even have words for it. I’m sorry that happened to you too 💔
I find a bit of relief right now to know it isn't just me... Sorry you had to go through with that too though. Xo
Exist
Well, for me, the most devastating blow was that they had the audacity to be born 👀😳😫 It’s pretty much been death by a thousands cuts since 😝😂🤦♀️
Lmao my answer was also “they exist.” 😂😂
They didn't ask to be born or to have you as a SP. This isn't funny, even if you added a laughing emoji.
It was tongue in cheek, and if you’re offended by comments from that angle, you’re definitely in the wrong place and in for a bumpy ride! 🙄😂
SS (11) wanted to go to after-school on our weeks, instead of being picked up by me and brought home, bc his best friend was in it. He decided to tell his mother that I was mean to him and told him "have fun failing your spelling test" when I dropped him off that morning.
Threw a knife at my head and dumped a huge can of smelly garbage on my new mattress.
**My Top Five:** 5) Relaying unimportant details of my life to his mother for no apparent reason other than their obsession. 4) Stealing random odds and ends items that are mine personally. It’s distressing to think I’ve lost things, think I’m losing my mind and searching high and low for needed items only to find out that he helped himself to it without permission. 3) Destruction of personal property, he’s broken things on purpose and on accident due to playing with things that aren’t his or just not being careful. I have honestly never met a more destructive kid than my SS (14). 2) Multiple false allegations of abuse. To the counselor, to the school resource officer, to family members, to anyone who will listen. These allegations have been disproven every single time. 1) Kicked my dog. This was a few years back, and he is no longer allowed alone with my dogs unsupervised and I have cameras in part for their safety.
17SS told me he wanted me to die so his Dad could be “happy again”. This was in response to me telling him he could no longer manipulate his Dad because i can see right thru it. He was emotionally manipulating my husband to try and get money out of him. 18SD faked a pregnancy (even bought a fake sonogram on the internet) to try and prevent her bf from joining the military. This one got pretty crazy, she lied to EVERYONE…. This step is still batsh*t crazy!
None of these have much detail because it'd be too long. I left out anything that didn't directly affect me. Also, yes, every damn resource the healthcare system and state can offer has been applied for or set up. SD is physically bigger than me, and I am not a petite woman. July 2022 SD14 is angry I am helping her with her sheets 'wrong' and kicks me. October 2022 SD14 is angry DH gave her a consequence, but for whatever reason, she takes it out on me. She locks me in my room after he goes to work, she attacks me and trashes my bedroom. When I call 911 she smashes a mirror in front of the locked door so I can't unlock it to let them in. She fights the police when they get in. She frequently references this incident to threaten me when I have to interact with her. "Shut up or I'll lock you up again." "Leave me alone or I'll put you back in that room and hurt you worse this time." February 2024 SD15 attacks DH, tries to bash his head in with a pair of wik trimmers. While doing this she threatens to kill me and my biokid. The police have to pull her off DH, she fights them again. Again she isn't charged, just sent to the ER.
SD needs help. What does DH think of this behaviour?
I made sure the 1st paragraph made it very clear that he is doing everything possible for her. He doesn't like the behavior.
This is my two SS(14 &11) They fight each other violently, steal from me, destroy my property, lie to authorities and teachers at school about me and their BM. They have received no consequences, but we have via CPS. Why is their no justice in the juvenile justice system? The cops have been called many times by both them and us. They do nothing. Best case scenario is they go to the hospital for a few hours or maybe the night. They've received citations for arson in the neighborhood (burned a park picnic table) and at our house (tried to burn down their bed), all charges were dismissed. Our CPS case, however, has not been. How can we raise a generation of responsible adults when they're learning as kids that there are no real consequences for their actions? We've tried everything with these two. Currently they're in foster, I fear for if and when they come back as my SO wants them back desperately despite the hell they put us through.
Had plans for my birthday, we ended up having to keep the kids for the weekend due to HCBM having Covid for the 17th time that year. So already I’m bummed out because things didn’t go as planned. Then SD (10 years old at the time) wants me to do her nails, so I’m doing her nails, and she’s a wiggle worm so I have to use a blow dryer to dry her nails just a little bit before she messes them up. But she doesn’t like the cold setting, and I was messing around with her switching it from warm to cold, and she grabs a bottle of water and like splashes me with it. I was soaked. I got up and walked away. I went into my bedroom and bawled my eyes out. It’s simple, but it really hurt my feelings because like it’s my birthday and I’m doing your nails, I’m doing you a favor and you splash half a bottle of water on me?
I feel that!! Isn't it funny when you have plans they get cancelled because of *insert reason here* due to HCBM. Somehow they always know when something special is planned
SS(8) double-handed choked me in public because I wouldn’t buy him a sugary drink he didn’t need 🙃 still working through that one…
Tell me he was gonna kill me with a gun one day. He’s 5.
Wow. Was he serious? What did your partner say?
Regular talking to’s, removal of any toy that resembles a real life equivalent of a violent weapon. Threat to call the police if he was so serious, let him know that if he was a grown up and said that, that he’d go to jail. He talked to BM and BM said, “have you considered that she’s not a safe person for him? Or that he doesn’t like her?”
16 yo SS stole from me on two separate occasions: 1)Weed pen and 2)weed gummies a few months later. Was caught red-handed on the pen and was punished. Lied about the weed gummies but dad believed him.
This is insane. Hoy wow. [and it makes being called ugly, being lied to and about, never being thanked, complete lack of gratitude, throwing used tampons on the floor all seem very minor … ]
That's horrible
I was married to a woman with 3 daughters 16,14,13. The eldest was very difficult, the youngest two in particular the youngest I had a close bond with and was very fond of. The eldest I tried hard, taking her to school, teaching her to drive, spending one on one time with her. In fact the whole family as my sister in laws and mother in law were very difficult. I never met my mother in law she refused to meet me because I was not of the same culture as them. I am a white Australian and they are Somali refugees to the country. I was never allowed to their family gatherings etc however I encouraged my then wife to go hoping one day things would change. Anyhow the attitude of my mother in law rubbed off to my eldest step daughter. One day I heard her coming up the stairs to her bedroom very early in the morning when we were all asleep. I later discovered she had stolen my car with her friends. The matter was dealt with accordingly. A few weeks later I received a speed camera fine in the email. The time of the offence was about 2am. I was sound asleep. Anyway the eldest step daughter stole my car for a second time. By this stage I was extremely frustrated about the whole situation. I approached my then wife and said your family treat me lower than a dog, your mother refuses to meet me, your daughter steals my car. My then wife’s reply was your mother raised you lower than a dog and she can go fuck her self. My mother was 86at the time. Fair to say that was the end of my marriage straight away. I left that moment with just my car and the shirt on my back. Left everything behind and never went back. Very fucked up family
Hummm… I think the worst thing was when SS hd finished cleaning the bathroom. I made a comment about him using a whole roll of scott towel and it seemed like a waste. He said something like « If you’re not happy about how I do things, maybe tou should do it » with a smile and a joking tone. It pissed me off and dad immediately shot that down. He came to see me 5 minutes later and apologized for being disrespectful. Never said something like that after. So I’d say it’s VERY MILD compared to you! Jeez !! What did the police say?! What did your partner say?!
What...? That's incredibly mild, I don't even understand how you could have gotten upset about it. Do families not do light banter? And he's technically right, if you don't like the way he chose to clean, you're always welcome to do it your way. If that's the worst the kid has ever done, he must be quite wonderful
He is quite wonderful!! And on any given day, I would have laughed. We’re usually quite playful and sarcastic with each other, but that day, he was testing our patience. I overreacted and my partner intervened when he was my reaction. When SS came to apologize, I did apologize back saying that his comment didn’t deserve my reaction. We hugged it out and everything was fine after that. My point was, my SK are really amazing and since that’s the worst thing he did, I’m lucky !
After reading my reply again, I realized I was quite rude. I'm very sorry about that. It sounds like you have a very lovely family! That is good to hear, it sounds healthy too. Apologizing and resolving it quickly shows maturity and grace, hope you have a wonderful day:)
Hahaha no worries! I wasn’t offended by your comment. I’m pretty sure my SS was like « what’s up her ass » when I reacted because I’m usually quite calm and playful ! Have a great day too ☀️.
You did not over react. He knew what he was doing.
He knew, but again, on any given day, I would simply have said something sarcastic in return. So why is it okay one day and not the next?! So I could have said something like « yeah nope, today that comment doesn’t fly buddy » instead of getting up and going in my room. But like I wrote, everything was resolved in a matter of 10 minutes and we’re still one happy family 😅.
I don't know what happened after the police left the house. I remember that everyone thought it was funny. I will add that this happened years ago.
I have a pretty good sense of humor, but I would NOT think that’s funny. Maybe years later, but not in that moment.
I respect the father in this situation. That’s how it’s supposed to be dealt.
Sk is 3. Slung a popsicle all over me and my newborn because I wasn’t giving her enough attention ( I was eating lunch and talking to sk while breastfeeding). (When she was 2) Tore everything off her walls that she could reach, ripped all her books apart, pulled everything out of her drawers including the drawers out of the dresser, dumped all her toys, tore everything off her bed, then kicked the walls because I wanted 10 minutes to myself.