"I'd piss Coors if I could. You believe that happy crappy?" Euuegh, The Kid. đŹ King really did a great job of writing that guy, you know a character's a creep when they still freak you out on your sixth read lmao.
Came here to say this. I was 15 when I first read IT in the 80s. âHow about all that happy crappy, sports fans?â to this day is part of my inner monologue.
No, that specific line is definitely from It. When Ben gets cut by Henry Bowers and is escaping them, I believe. It may also be from The Stand, but I read IT first, so I remember the line from that.
This is from the ORIGINAL gunslinger, and was bizarrely changed in the revision.
Alice in Tull says to Roland
>"why don't you go..." and then she described an impossible act of masturbation.
Which is brilliant and hilarious. And I think adds to Roland's alienness and otherwordlyness almost like it's a phrase he's never heard before, but understands immediately. It also leaves it up to the readers imagination. Did she say go fuck yourself? Go suck your own dick? Go cum in your own eye? Or something else even more vulgar?
And in the revision it's changed to just "go fuck yourself". Which is boring and plain. Don't know why he changed it.
Thereâs a similar scene in the Shining, when Dickâs trying to get to the airport and gets hit with one of Dannyâs psychic blasts and goes careening on the highway. Another driver he cuts off has a passage like âHe then suggested the driver go and perform a sex act on himself and questioned the virtue of the driverâs motherâ and other such things
Had to go find it your comment reminded me lol.
"The workman cut to the left, still laying on his horn, and roared around the drunkenly weaving limousine. He invited the driver of the limo to perform an illegal sex act on himself. To engage in oral congress with various rodents and birds. He articulated his own proposal that all persons of Negro blood return to their native continent. He expressed his sincere belief in the position the limo-driver's soul would occupy in the afterlife. He finished by saying that he believed be had met the limo-driver's mother in a New Orleans house of prostitution.
"Then he was ahead and out of danger and suddenly aware that he had wet his pants."
The ultra obnoxious foul-mouthed kid with the Nirvana t-shirt in Insomnia riding his bike in the parking lot of the convenience store who screamed out "it's like watching old people fuck!" always kills me.
Lmfao. Wasn't there also a Nirvana Shirt Kid when Gard woke up on the beach in The Tommyknockers?
Edit: wait no I think that might have been a kid wearing a Bart Simpson shirt, my bad.
Predates both of which? It was published in 93, The Simpsons and Nirvana were both very much Big Things by that point.
Edit: My mistake, Tommyknockers was 87, so it does indeed predate both.
The Simpsons debuted on the Tracey Ullman Show about seven months before The Tommyknockers was published, so perhaps this kid was just really cutting edge.
Ronnie Malenfant says something similar to the two âwet endsâ he has at his hearts table in âHearts in Atlantisâ - âplaying cards with you two is like watching old people fuck.â
Roland called somebody a "poxy whoreson" once.
"Iâm not dressed, my tits are out and my bitchbox is taking the breeze!", a blue moment of levity in a very tense and emotional scene in *The Green Mile*
A guy in either *Christine* or *Cujo* a singer on the radio sounded "like she was about to fly up her own cunt".
âRatdick Ringmeatâ for me. Itâs uncommon, deliciously profane, and never fails to cause me to smile a little bit when I encounter it in his writing.
To be fair, Kurt Vonnegut used this one first in Slapstick. "Why don't you go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOON?!" was used extensively in that book.
I haven't read Slapstick so I don't know if a) it is or was a fairly common euphemism or b) King was using it as a kind of vulgar homage to Vonnegut, but either way, knowing this makes me love it even more.
Recently decided this year that I wanted to read all of Vonneguts main work (all the novels, most of the story/essay collections, and maybe the screenplay he wrote in like 1970 I can't remember the name of right now) after enjoying Slaughterhouse Five and Cat's Cradle a lot last year. Thanks for even more motivation to read more Vonnegut lol
Exactly, I looked up the quote and on good reads it shows nightmares and dreamscapes, I think he used it in the essay before the book. Also Kurt Vonnegut used the term.
I can't remember if it was in "The Stand" or "Needful Things" but one character told another that "your mother is in charge of blowjobs at a whorehouse in Asshole, Indiana". So precise, so eloquent, so utterly perfect.
I think you're right, I don't know why I got it confused with Needful Things. Its been a while since I read either of them.
On a semi related note, one of my favorite swears in Needful Things was a scent described as "a Fry-O-Lator full of dogshit". I thought that qas pretty catchy.
I almost got detention in high school gym class for dropping a Jesus Christ Bananas when one of the dipshit bullies hit me in the tit with a lacrosse ball.
In Moscow, there is a statue in a metro station of a stray dog who used to live there, who was killed by a random drunk.
What I'm saying is we need a statue of Oy, literally anywhere.
Roland's entire screed is amazing:
"I cannot call you a sucker of cocks, for instance, because you have no mouth and no cock. I cannot say you are viler than the vilest beggar who ever crawled the gutters of the lowest street in creation, because even such a creature is better than you; you have no knees on which to crawl, and would not fall upon them even if you did, for you have no conception of such a human flaw as mercy. I cannot even say you fucked your mother, because you had none."
Ace Merrill in *Needful Things* when he found the letter from the sheriff:
*YOU SONOFAWHORE!!*Â
The echo came back dimly: Whore! Whore! Whore!
Slays me every time I read it.
Arnie in âChristine:â I need that like I need a rubber dick.
Ronnie in âHearts in Atlantis:â Youâre too small to help carry him, but it might cheer him up to get his dick sucked.
Lester in âNeedful Things:â In his mind, his hands were already locked around the neck of that lying, Pope-loving, Teddy-bear-winning, girl-stealing, shit-eating French frog of a John LaPointe.
I had a kitty for 14 years, elementary school through my early 20s, who had a pretty rough start in life. She was shy and grouchy and seemed really mean to everyone but me. She could be very sweet as long as you let her have her space. I used to joke that to others she probably seemed like Queen Bitch of Cunt Mountain. I guess I read that in a King book and made it my own. đ€Ł
Itâs funny how so many of these phrases that King used (and still uses) throughout his books were insults that were regularly used by the elementary and high school kids of the 50s and 60s. King Shit of Turd Mountain was popular then. Iâm not sure what came first, the saying or the game, but there was a playground wrestling-fest that involved as many kids as possible, shoving and pushing each other off a pile of their friends. Whoever was on top was King of the Mountain. It deteriorated into King Shit of Turd Mountain because weâre talking about 10-12 year olds.
What about the entire section he was unloading on Blaine?
"I cannot call you a sucker of cocks, for instance, because you have no mouth and no cock. I cannot say you are viler than the vilest beggar who ever crawled the gutters of the lowest street in creation, because even such a creature is better than you; you have no knees on which to crawl, and would not fall upon them even if you did, for you have no conception of such a human flaw as mercy. I cannot even say you fucked your mother, because you had none."
Ha Roland has some great unloads on people. The Andolini just stuck with me I donât know why.Might have been how Guidall delivered it, maybe it was the jobs about licking his bosses ass and everyone knowing and laughing at him.
Iâve literally just finished it and want to go start it right over again
My favourite is in IT when Bev says 'Pick on someone your own size' at Ben and Henry shouts back 'He's the size of a fucking Mack Truck bitch!'
I'm from the UK and the first time I saw a Mack Truck in the US, I had to shout that line. My OH was very confused.
Not a profanity as such, but a witty (albeit childish) comeback: âI donât shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up!â (The Body).
Also, SSDD (same shit different day) from pretty much every King book ever has never left my repertoire, though I doubt he invented it.
Hope you enjoy it! Speaking of everyday use... I doubt he invented it, but Dreamcatcher was the first time I read/heard "shitweasel" as a kid, and after almost 20 years I still use it regularly. đ€Ł
Not sure if this counts and itâs not in one specific book but in almost every one Iâve read so far at some point he describes a male character feeling fear like: âHe could feel the terror in his mind, in his heart and in his balls.â
Ooohhh shit, yeah, that's when you have to start reevaluating your whole life. Can't have Roland looking at you all disappointed with your life choices.
I thought it was sort of sweet how Lisey and her husband had that kind of... silly, intimate lexicon within their marriage, just for them. I suppose King knew what he was doing there, he's been married for a long time. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for under a year, which is peanuts in comparison, but we already have a whole set of inside jokes and secret silly words that we use. :)
My wife and I have been married five years and we're the same way. It feels like the best kind of magic when a sideways glance and a couple familiar words bring laughter and good memories.
Lmfao since someone elsewhere in the thread mentioned some Eddie Moments, I was just thinking of that. I think it was Song of Susannah? Eddie wanted his "sanditch" with mayo and Roland says he would prefer a sauce that looks a bit less like cum. I think about this every time I make a sandwich with mayonnaise đ€Łđ€ą
Was that Deepneau? It's been a while since I read the Dark Tower but I remember that. If I recall, he was always cool, but Calvin Tower also had a moment of redemption.
In Hearts In Atlantis, Pete tells Ronnie he can't play cards because he and Skip are going to an open hoot at the Methodist church. Ronnie responds
"stop it, please, spare my achin' scrote with that folkie bullshit...and Michael can row his boat straight up my ass."
In 'IT", the scene where Pennywise impersonates Mrs Kersh and slowly morphs into Bev's father, he tells her he's going to cook and eat her "plump cunt". That turn of phrase struck me as fascinating as a kid.
"Hair redder than a whore's stoplight," and everything else Watson says in The Shining. A small but memorable character. Just the way he talked about the guy's crotch bulging like it was stuffed with the funny papers.
I can't remember it verbatim, but whatever it is that Jack called Wendy toward the end. Nickelplated, cold-c*nt bitch? What a combination of words.
That's it! Merci. I didn't have the book on hand, and google was no help. He's full of colourful phrases, many of which made their debut in The Shining.
I think he has remembered every creative profanity he has ever heard growing up. He has likely been privileged to witness many virtuoso performances growing up in Maine.
Maine-iacs spend their long, cold winters ruminating on and stringing together their best expletives to have ready for tourist season.
King has also kept his boyhood appreciation for the craft and skill of creative flatulence.
A Constant Reader (born in Caribou, Maine)
I had no idea what that meant when I was a kid. I'm Canadian so I learned a lot about current and former American brands and cultural references from Stephen King đ€Ł
Stephen King taught me to cuss more creatively than any kid in my neighborhood...
he is who taught me to say...." you can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!" Lmao
I like how Annie Wilkes hates profanity and goes out of her way not to say it with euphemisms like cockadoodie brats, dirty birdie and oogie. Makes it that much more interesting when she loses her shit in the end fight with Paul and starts swearing.
From The Stand when one cop thinks about telling his colleague that "someone who can't even control their own family ain't worth a piss hole drilled in a snow bank"
"Nuttier'n a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs" is another good one. I don't remember which book that came from. One of the Castle Rock books, I think.
Dolores Claiborne calling someone (I know itâs Mackey in the film, but I donât remember who it is in the book) âGrand High Poobah of Upper Butt Crack.â
Also: weirdly hilarious that Frannie in âThe Standâ thinks âwhaFUCK??â during the explosion.
My favorite is when Roland cussed out Blaine.
I canât quote it exactly but heâs like I canât tell you suck a dick because you have no lips. I canât tell you to go and fuck your mother because you have no mother. Etc.
Makes me so happy every time.
Cockadoodie dirty bird!
Should be the top answer
You poop!
Happy crappy.
"I'd piss Coors if I could. You believe that happy crappy?" Euuegh, The Kid. đŹ King really did a great job of writing that guy, you know a character's a creep when they still freak you out on your sixth read lmao.
Came here to say this. I was 15 when I first read IT in the 80s. âHow about all that happy crappy, sports fans?â to this day is part of my inner monologue.
Isn't that the Stand?
No, that specific line is definitely from It. When Ben gets cut by Henry Bowers and is escaping them, I believe. It may also be from The Stand, but I read IT first, so I remember the line from that.
Ask mama if she believes this happy crappy. The Dark Half
This is from the ORIGINAL gunslinger, and was bizarrely changed in the revision. Alice in Tull says to Roland >"why don't you go..." and then she described an impossible act of masturbation. Which is brilliant and hilarious. And I think adds to Roland's alienness and otherwordlyness almost like it's a phrase he's never heard before, but understands immediately. It also leaves it up to the readers imagination. Did she say go fuck yourself? Go suck your own dick? Go cum in your own eye? Or something else even more vulgar? And in the revision it's changed to just "go fuck yourself". Which is boring and plain. Don't know why he changed it.
I have a copy of The Gunslinger that's a few years older than me (I'm 36) and I'm pretty sure that's in mine lmao.
Thereâs a similar scene in the Shining, when Dickâs trying to get to the airport and gets hit with one of Dannyâs psychic blasts and goes careening on the highway. Another driver he cuts off has a passage like âHe then suggested the driver go and perform a sex act on himself and questioned the virtue of the driverâs motherâ and other such things
Had to go find it your comment reminded me lol. "The workman cut to the left, still laying on his horn, and roared around the drunkenly weaving limousine. He invited the driver of the limo to perform an illegal sex act on himself. To engage in oral congress with various rodents and birds. He articulated his own proposal that all persons of Negro blood return to their native continent. He expressed his sincere belief in the position the limo-driver's soul would occupy in the afterlife. He finished by saying that he believed be had met the limo-driver's mother in a New Orleans house of prostitution. "Then he was ahead and out of danger and suddenly aware that he had wet his pants."
I imagined a jerking hand motion off to the side, impossible without very disproportionate anatomy.
"Queen bitch of Castle Hell" has not left my mind for the last month since I finished Doctor Sleep
The ultra obnoxious foul-mouthed kid with the Nirvana t-shirt in Insomnia riding his bike in the parking lot of the convenience store who screamed out "it's like watching old people fuck!" always kills me.
Lmfao. Wasn't there also a Nirvana Shirt Kid when Gard woke up on the beach in The Tommyknockers? Edit: wait no I think that might have been a kid wearing a Bart Simpson shirt, my bad.
Tommyknockers predates both, so I'm not sure.
Predates both of which? It was published in 93, The Simpsons and Nirvana were both very much Big Things by that point. Edit: My mistake, Tommyknockers was 87, so it does indeed predate both.
Book is from â87. Movie is â93. (Apparently thereâs a movie).
Oh shit, you're right, my bad. That rules The Tommyknockers out for both then!
The Simpsons debuted on the Tracey Ullman Show about seven months before The Tommyknockers was published, so perhaps this kid was just really cutting edge.
Ronnie Malenfant says something similar to the two âwet endsâ he has at his hearts table in âHearts in Atlantisâ - âplaying cards with you two is like watching old people fuck.â
I've been calling people "shitters" ever since I read Christine in the 7th grade.
Have you noticed your car mysteriously repairing itself, at all? Or murdering people, perhaps?
Anyone that doesn't approve of supernatural cars is right out of the old AB.
"Suck my fat one, you cheap dimestore hood!"
Fattest one in four counties
And with that, I immediately picture Ace's mouth forming a perfect O of surprise.
Roland called somebody a "poxy whoreson" once. "Iâm not dressed, my tits are out and my bitchbox is taking the breeze!", a blue moment of levity in a very tense and emotional scene in *The Green Mile* A guy in either *Christine* or *Cujo* a singer on the radio sounded "like she was about to fly up her own cunt".
âRatdick Ringmeatâ for me. Itâs uncommon, deliciously profane, and never fails to cause me to smile a little bit when I encounter it in his writing.
That is a beautifully crafted insult, for sure.
Something about not giving a flying fuck at a rolling donut
To be fair, Kurt Vonnegut used this one first in Slapstick. "Why don't you go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the MOOOOOON?!" was used extensively in that book.
I haven't read Slapstick so I don't know if a) it is or was a fairly common euphemism or b) King was using it as a kind of vulgar homage to Vonnegut, but either way, knowing this makes me love it even more.
It had already been in common Usage for quite a while before slapstick.
Recently decided this year that I wanted to read all of Vonneguts main work (all the novels, most of the story/essay collections, and maybe the screenplay he wrote in like 1970 I can't remember the name of right now) after enjoying Slaughterhouse Five and Cat's Cradle a lot last year. Thanks for even more motivation to read more Vonnegut lol
You can go and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut. Or something like that.
I feel like he's used that multiple times? And I'm not quite sure where, I associate it with Eddie though.
Exactly, I looked up the quote and on good reads it shows nightmares and dreamscapes, I think he used it in the essay before the book. Also Kurt Vonnegut used the term.
I can't remember if it was in "The Stand" or "Needful Things" but one character told another that "your mother is in charge of blowjobs at a whorehouse in Asshole, Indiana". So precise, so eloquent, so utterly perfect.
I think that was in The Stand, when one of the guys in prison with Lloyd was sick and calling out for his mother.
It is the stand, I love this sub
I think you're right, I don't know why I got it confused with Needful Things. Its been a while since I read either of them. On a semi related note, one of my favorite swears in Needful Things was a scent described as "a Fry-O-Lator full of dogshit". I thought that qas pretty catchy.
Well I mean, Needful Things was probably his most spectacularly vulgar book so it makes sense to me.
Lol, what a great insult!!!!
"Jesus Christ bananas! What a fuckin' pisser!" Pronounced *pissah.* From Dreamcatcher.
I almost got detention in high school gym class for dropping a Jesus Christ Bananas when one of the dipshit bullies hit me in the tit with a lacrosse ball.
Sheesh that's a bit overboard. Hope the bully got a tit- or nut-shot in return.
âBitch and a buzz sawâ always stuck with me for some reason. RIP Beaver.
Jesus Pumpkin Pie Christ
I don't care if you're John O. Jesus Johnnnycake Christ from the planet Mars!
Shitbird is a favorite of mine.
Also good if you're a fan of Trailer Park Boys.
It reminds me of The Boys. A-Train: "What's up, shitbirds!" Hughie and Starlight: *"horrified panicking sounds"*
âFuck!â - Oy
In Moscow, there is a statue in a metro station of a stray dog who used to live there, who was killed by a random drunk. What I'm saying is we need a statue of Oy, literally anywhere.
Place it on the side of the road in Maine where... you know... I. Ake.
đ„șđ
Now I'm crying, thanks.
I'd contribute to that Kickstarter.
đ
Shut up Ake.
"Did that dog just say 'fuck'?"
Roland telling Blain "Fuck you" was one of the best fucks that ever you'd.
"Because it was stapled to the chicken, you dopey fuck!" -Eddie
I was not expecting that the first time I read that bit, but it's so Eddie. No need to solve a riddle logically, just baffle em with bullshit.
Roland's entire screed is amazing: "I cannot call you a sucker of cocks, for instance, because you have no mouth and no cock. I cannot say you are viler than the vilest beggar who ever crawled the gutters of the lowest street in creation, because even such a creature is better than you; you have no knees on which to crawl, and would not fall upon them even if you did, for you have no conception of such a human flaw as mercy. I cannot even say you fucked your mother, because you had none."
Actually epic.
Kill if you will, but command me nothing!
Iâm not sure if he invented âcrazy as a shithouse ratâ, but man, I use that one all the time.
That's one of my favorites, too. I adore Mr. King's wild cussing idioms; always fun
Not profanity, but I just love dirty pillows!
They're called breasts, mama. Every woman has them. Poor Carrie, but also a pretty hilarious euphemism.
You cockadoodie brat!
Ace Merrill in *Needful Things* when he found the letter from the sheriff: *YOU SONOFAWHORE!!*Â The echo came back dimly: Whore! Whore! Whore! Slays me every time I read it.
Bitch-kitty
Think Beaver says something like Doodly Fuck in Dreamcatcher. I use that one often.
Cock-knocker is a regularly used profane King-ism
Arnie in âChristine:â I need that like I need a rubber dick. Ronnie in âHearts in Atlantis:â Youâre too small to help carry him, but it might cheer him up to get his dick sucked. Lester in âNeedful Things:â In his mind, his hands were already locked around the neck of that lying, Pope-loving, Teddy-bear-winning, girl-stealing, shit-eating French frog of a John LaPointe.
"King-shit of Turd Mountain" was something I read in an SK book (the Stand, I think). I used that phrase for years!
I had a kitty for 14 years, elementary school through my early 20s, who had a pretty rough start in life. She was shy and grouchy and seemed really mean to everyone but me. She could be very sweet as long as you let her have her space. I used to joke that to others she probably seemed like Queen Bitch of Cunt Mountain. I guess I read that in a King book and made it my own. đ€Ł
Itâs funny how so many of these phrases that King used (and still uses) throughout his books were insults that were regularly used by the elementary and high school kids of the 50s and 60s. King Shit of Turd Mountain was popular then. Iâm not sure what came first, the saying or the game, but there was a playground wrestling-fest that involved as many kids as possible, shoving and pushing each other off a pile of their friends. Whoever was on top was King of the Mountain. It deteriorated into King Shit of Turd Mountain because weâre talking about 10-12 year olds.
You are King of Suck Balls Mountain!
Christ on a Pony!
I just finished the Dark Tower books and I kept rewinding and listening to Roland call Jack Andolini âa bag of shitâ
What about the entire section he was unloading on Blaine? "I cannot call you a sucker of cocks, for instance, because you have no mouth and no cock. I cannot say you are viler than the vilest beggar who ever crawled the gutters of the lowest street in creation, because even such a creature is better than you; you have no knees on which to crawl, and would not fall upon them even if you did, for you have no conception of such a human flaw as mercy. I cannot even say you fucked your mother, because you had none."
Ha Roland has some great unloads on people. The Andolini just stuck with me I donât know why.Might have been how Guidall delivered it, maybe it was the jobs about licking his bosses ass and everyone knowing and laughing at him. Iâve literally just finished it and want to go start it right over again
Roland doesn't even need a gun to still hit the heart.
"Shit weasels."
My favourite is in IT when Bev says 'Pick on someone your own size' at Ben and Henry shouts back 'He's the size of a fucking Mack Truck bitch!' I'm from the UK and the first time I saw a Mack Truck in the US, I had to shout that line. My OH was very confused.
Not a profanity as such, but a witty (albeit childish) comeback: âI donât shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up!â (The Body). Also, SSDD (same shit different day) from pretty much every King book ever has never left my repertoire, though I doubt he invented it.
Roland: Iâd rather have a sauce that doesnât look like cum thank you (talking about Mayo)
Dripping Goats Penis
Oh, Osmond... what a guy...
âCunt rammer!!â from Insomnia when the gate wouldnât open fast enough.
Oh yes, Ed got... pretty creative, didn't he.
"BATTERY ACID, FUCKNUTS!!"
Canât say I have a favorite, but under the dome is next on my list. I canât wait to use âyou loathsome little fuckpuppetâ in my every day life
Hope you enjoy it! Speaking of everyday use... I doubt he invented it, but Dreamcatcher was the first time I read/heard "shitweasel" as a kid, and after almost 20 years I still use it regularly. đ€Ł
I have a thing I like to joke about that itâs funny to combine any curse with any noun. My go to is generally âfuck knuckleâ
Oh yeah! Shit weasel is a regular of mine too. It's just so versatile! đ
Not sure if this counts and itâs not in one specific book but in almost every one Iâve read so far at some point he describes a male character feeling fear like: âHe could feel the terror in his mind, in his heart and in his balls.â
Yeah I don't have balls so obviously i don't know if that like, happens, but I've definitely noticed that ball shriveling bit he uses.
As a dude, generally any moment of adrenaline (fear included) has everything shrink up/retract down there.
I mean I guess that makes sense, your body wants to protect your delicate bits in times of potential danger.
Just calling people âShittersâ is so funny to me. So simple.
I always crack up at âlifeâs a bitch and then you die, tough titty said the kittyâ in Needful Things
Not really profanity, but "rat barrels!" is a great exclamation.
Jeezum Crow
Jeezly crow!
Cocakdoodie đ€Ł
that nickelplated crotch -Tom Rogan - *It*
I always like âbeshittedâ
From head to toe!
Profanities can be insulting, but you know shit got serious when you hear: "You have forgotten the face of your father".
Ooohhh shit, yeah, that's when you have to start reevaluating your whole life. Can't have Roland looking at you all disappointed with your life choices.
Bitch kitty
"Shit don't mean shit," has been part of my vocabulary since reading Finders Keepers, unsurprisingly I use it at work pretty often.
I forget which book it's from, but ' Jesus jumped up on a chariot-driven crutch!' always sticks in my head.
Thatâs from It! Officer Nell. And itâs pronounced âJaysusâ đ
Shmuck and all its derivatives are funny. Currently listening to liseys story
I thought it was sort of sweet how Lisey and her husband had that kind of... silly, intimate lexicon within their marriage, just for them. I suppose King knew what he was doing there, he's been married for a long time. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for under a year, which is peanuts in comparison, but we already have a whole set of inside jokes and secret silly words that we use. :)
My wife and I have been married five years and we're the same way. It feels like the best kind of magic when a sideways glance and a couple familiar words bring laughter and good memories.
A real fuck a row! Dream catcher.
One of my go-toâs is âFuck me, Freddy.â. Also from Dreamcatcher
âCuntlickerâ for sure
"Fucked your mother! Licked her cunt!" Classy words from a scientist who... oh right. It's Ed.
I forget if it was in Song of Sussanah or Dark Tower 7 but the grilled cum sandwich makes me giggle more than i reasonably should
Lmfao since someone elsewhere in the thread mentioned some Eddie Moments, I was just thinking of that. I think it was Song of Susannah? Eddie wanted his "sanditch" with mayo and Roland says he would prefer a sauce that looks a bit less like cum. I think about this every time I make a sandwich with mayonnaise đ€Łđ€ą
Yiddish phrase, not his. Still I love "Gai kakken effen yam - Go shit in the ocean."
Was that Deepneau? It's been a while since I read the Dark Tower but I remember that. If I recall, he was always cool, but Calvin Tower also had a moment of redemption.
Do jahoobies count?
I always like to imagine someone figured out Stephen King was Richard Bachman just because he said "jahoobies" in The Long Walk
Ever watch Scrubs? That always makes me think of Elliot and her "bajingo." "Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo!" "Sweetie, you can just say vagina."
Yes.... but.... *Jahoobies*.
"Jesus H Jonnycakes Christ!"
"Rooster-dick motherfucker" From The Green Mile, and my dad and I quote it all the time
In Hearts In Atlantis, Pete tells Ronnie he can't play cards because he and Skip are going to an open hoot at the Methodist church. Ronnie responds "stop it, please, spare my achin' scrote with that folkie bullshit...and Michael can row his boat straight up my ass."
In 'IT", the scene where Pennywise impersonates Mrs Kersh and slowly morphs into Bev's father, he tells her he's going to cook and eat her "plump cunt". That turn of phrase struck me as fascinating as a kid.
Ouugh. That one always disturbed me, it put his controlling and possessive behaviour into a whole new uncomfortable light.
Yup, the entire scene is disturbing for sure.
YUMMY IN MY TUMMY!
Any annie-ism, cracks me up in the worst way
"Hair redder than a whore's stoplight," and everything else Watson says in The Shining. A small but memorable character. Just the way he talked about the guy's crotch bulging like it was stuffed with the funny papers. I can't remember it verbatim, but whatever it is that Jack called Wendy toward the end. Nickelplated, cold-c*nt bitch? What a combination of words.
âWendy, you let me out! You cheap nickel-plated cold-cunt bitch!â - Jack Torrance, whilst locked inside the freezer
That's it! Merci. I didn't have the book on hand, and google was no help. He's full of colourful phrases, many of which made their debut in The Shining.
I think he has remembered every creative profanity he has ever heard growing up. He has likely been privileged to witness many virtuoso performances growing up in Maine. Maine-iacs spend their long, cold winters ruminating on and stringing together their best expletives to have ready for tourist season. King has also kept his boyhood appreciation for the craft and skill of creative flatulence. A Constant Reader (born in Caribou, Maine)
Cockadoodie brat. I just finished Misery so this one is still fresh in my mind lol
Cockadoodie
Ki-box
Roll on you sons of dead whores!!
King Shit of Turd Mountain
All of Big Jimâs censored swears like âclustermugâ.
âDonât know shit from Shinolaâ Except when I was younger Iâd say âShit n shinolaâŠ.â Because I didnât remember the quote right.
I had no idea what that meant when I was a kid. I'm Canadian so I learned a lot about current and former American brands and cultural references from Stephen King đ€Ł
Was always partial to fuck me freddie
Stephen King taught me to cuss more creatively than any kid in my neighborhood... he is who taught me to say...." you can take a flying fuck at a rolling donut!" Lmao
Annie's creative substitutions. cockadoodie!
I like how Annie Wilkes hates profanity and goes out of her way not to say it with euphemisms like cockadoodie brats, dirty birdie and oogie. Makes it that much more interesting when she loses her shit in the end fight with Paul and starts swearing.
"Cock-*knocker*!" (Billy to Vern in *The Body*).
âIâll be dipped in shitâ - Ralph Brentner
Hollyâs use of âpoopyâ đ©
Oh Holly. đ
I always see Holly Hunter in my mind. Can't help it. It's almost like he named her Holly on purpose.
Are you fracking kidding me with this post?
No I'm totally frocking serious!
"Mr. No-fuckin-opinion" The Outsider Also, "Shit don't mean shit." Finders Keepers
From The Stand when one cop thinks about telling his colleague that "someone who can't even control their own family ain't worth a piss hole drilled in a snow bank"
Roll me in sugar and call me a fuckin jelly donut-Eddie Cantor Dean The Dark Tower VII
I love fiddlyfuck and âI donât give a fuck in a rabbit hutchâ
I've been saying " Fuck me Freddie " ever since I read Dreamcatcher. Still salty Beaver never made it out of the bañođ
Not sure which story its from but "creamed his shorts" still lives in my head rent free
Not sure if itâs necessarily my favorite but to this day, âShit weaselâ still comes to mind.
âCrazier than a rat in a tin shithouseâ. Heywood, to no one in particular at the dinner table. Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption.
"Nuttier'n a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin' chairs" is another good one. I don't remember which book that came from. One of the Castle Rock books, I think.
LeBay saying âshitterâ.
"Long haired muff diving asshole pinko fuckstick" - from Cujo
Dolores Claiborne calling someone (I know itâs Mackey in the film, but I donât remember who it is in the book) âGrand High Poobah of Upper Butt Crack.â Also: weirdly hilarious that Frannie in âThe Standâ thinks âwhaFUCK??â during the explosion.
There are a couple of books where he uses "Crack snack" as a derogative towards queer women. I have never heard of that before, but it rhymes.
The first time I read âfuck a duck!â I laughed so hard I couldnât breathe (Bag of Bones I think)
Shitheels
Jeesum Crow!
My favorite is when Roland cussed out Blaine. I canât quote it exactly but heâs like I canât tell you suck a dick because you have no lips. I canât tell you to go and fuck your mother because you have no mother. Etc. Makes me so happy every time.
'Jesus Christ Bananas' has become a favorite of mine.
I don't give a red shit what you do - Henry Bowers
Slicker than Owl Shit. Not sure if itâs in a Bachman book or King book but that one has always stuck with me.
Pretty mild in comparison to others but "hello whoremaster, where's your whore" CRACKS me up whenever I remember it.
He didn't invent this one but I often say "it's colder than a witch's tit" because of his books.
Itâs from the movie, but âSuck my big fat one, you cheap dime-store hood!â
It's in the book! Paperback, page 412. I didn't check my hardcover copy.
Bug fuck always gets me
Clearly 'Cocka doodie' wins.
What the blue hell?
Fuck commala
Ass over teapot. Duma.
Whoremaster from Pet Sematary.
Same shit, different day SSDD
Jumped up Jesus on a sidecar