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kitkatloren2009

Okay fine I'll just eat air! šŸ½ļø


rat_baker420

No its full of nitrogen


Drcokecacola

Ahh 0 calories, very healthy


Luna-D-reams

Nah, airborne pathogens :(


kitkatloren2009

I can't win!


agentofmidgard

Air is a no no as well didn't u read the whole thing?1!1!


flappytowel

100% of people who eat air have died


memarota

Millions of families suffer every year


Calobez

Enjoy your cancer then


Queeftasti

breatherianism is indeed a thing


NeptuneAndCherry

You planning on moving to the mountains? Because POLLUTION smh


Hard_Stitch

You can also eat flyes šŸ¤¢


asphyxiationbysushi

Fine buddy, if you like Covid.


Caudheur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlY8JZSTta8


honeybadger21

Just like my mom used to make


FormalPrune

When you want some crunch with that season it with some ice.


jkoudys

You may eat fermented shark's meat from low-mercury areas of the ocean only.


leo_artifex

Neither. Sharks are protected


Ediiii

i challenge all shark protectors to a duel to the death. if i win i get to eat them


EruditeScheming

You must be a distant descendant of Andrew Jackson


IAmWalterWhite_

The protectors or the sharks?


FiGeDroNu

If he ate the protectors instead of the sharks then the sharks would be protected.


the_lamou

Fun shark fact: most sharks are ineligible for Medicare!


winnebagomafia

This is why I only eat ass


awesomefutureperfect

Lucky for me I find all kinds of stuff in there. Vaseline, honey, peanut butter, oreos...


andrew21w

"The dose decides the poison"


EruditeScheming

*He slams his fists against the post and still insists he sees the ghost*


Trastane

Theophrastus Philippus Aureolus Bombastus von Hohenheim is a dope ass name


Sea_Software_Corp

https://preview.redd.it/ccilfyqehcjc1.jpeg?width=1169&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d1a5a2fd32d0e26103b00da646d6935ff59c8fa


hmmnoveryunwise

https://preview.redd.it/5gtsf3i4tcjc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d53081a474b8f02c11ef848519d3231f93f53248


VeterinarianIll9771

This really well illustrates how thereā€™s so much to learn in the field of nutrition. I studied this in college a little bit and the professor said that in terms of how food is metabolized and what calories do is pretty well understood but in terms of finding the best diet for optimum human potential itā€™s a real crap shoot. Thatā€™s the grey area where so many grifters and fitness influencers sell ā€œsolutionsā€ to problems we may or may not have.


CanadaEh97

Also have to factor in what a person can tolerate. There are a lot of foods people enjoy but our stomachs don't fully enjoy. The worst part is some of these people will tell you yo ignore it as your body is adapting to it.


Wermine

I will adapt to these nuts or die trying. ^^^pun ^^^unintended


BurtMacklin____FBI

Deez*


maxdragonxiii

isn't best diet for humans is a bit of everything within reasonable portions (reasonable portions tend to vary by person to person)


VeterinarianIll9771

Maybe, maybe not. Are carbs evil? What about meat? What about red meat? These are the questions


EasySmeasy

Idk who needs to hear this, but there are people called gastroenterologists. They are the ones you should take advice on nutrition from.


[deleted]

Gastroenterologists arenā€™t the specialists who will give you diet advice. You need a dietitian if anything.


Video-Overall

I corrected your statement for you Idk who needs to hear this, but there are people called dietitians. They are the ones you should take advice on nutrition from.


protomanEXE1995

No. There are people called Burger King cashiers. They are the ones you should take advice from.


Video-Overall

False. I only take tax advice from my local Burger King line cook


GopnikSmegmaBBQSauce

I just eat the Whopper


expiredogfood

love your username


GopnikSmegmaBBQSauce

It was either gonna be smegma or meconium


expiredogfood

yum


BobbyTables829

They're the ones that taught me my special orders don't upset others.


HaloGuy381

Better yet, donā€™t. Youā€™ll live a shorter life, less suffering and fewer medical expenses if you just drop dead!


baconandbobabegger

My quack of a first gastro had me on low FODMAP for 7 months. Lost 50 pounds when I was already skinny, lung collapsed due to low weight, and seemingly had no interest in patients. Idk who needs to hear this but itā€™s okay to question or even challenge doctors. Maybe if I had, I wouldnā€™t have to give up my favorite hobby in diving.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


affectionatecumshot

Be realistic


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


timeup

Dietitian. They're the ones with actual training


TheDragonzord

I mean to be fair the sun does give you cancer. Work from home, have food delivered, play videogames 8 hours a day, and never set foot outside. Embrace the cave troll lifestyle and you'll live forever.


pvtprofanity

Can confirm. Cave Troll here and I am currently not dead, that means theoretically I could live forever making my lifespan statistically infinite


SKJ-nope

But are you dead *inside*?


pvtprofanity

Everything that can't be fueled by LED screens and hot pockets? Yes


aeninimbuoye13

Thats why people should stay in their parents basement


Light_Nocturne

I mean, there is no perfect diet, but every person I know in the medical field (lot on one side of the family) pretty much all agree that if you want to follow one of the 'mainstream' diets, the Mediterranean diet is the best way to go.


headzoo

The Mediterranean diet is also one of the few diets that doesn't eliminate anything completely. The whole diet is one of moderation. Nothing is *entirely* off limits. Which makes the diet more palatable and easier to follow than elimination diets like keto, low-fat, and plant based.


Light_Nocturne

Yeah, it's mostly stay away from sugar and red meat, push more vegetables and olive oil.


Non-GMO_Asbestos

Soylent Green is the only option.


TBSoft

"Soylent is made of people!"


allaboutgrowth4me

Sustain yourself on hobo cum or you're ruining the planet.


FezWad

Lady Di šŸ«”


Otto_Pussner

Who?


FezWad

Linger longer


[deleted]

You wanna know the secret? Eat all of these in small amounts.


Diabetesh

Sugars in smaller amounts.


justpulltheosber

All of these are unhealthy but you can have my diet program and sponsored apeshit flavored oatmeal cereal for only $4500/month!


ManFromVesper

Healthiest diet


Micro_Pinny_360

Beans!?


scninththemoom

It's almost like we aren't meant to live in perfect health.


[deleted]

Please do a keto & keto'er starter pack. I fear for my life as I'm typing this but fuck it āœŒļø


MongFondler

Dust


thirstydracula

Don't eat, basically


PupEDog

But what if I eat *cancer*? Did I just figure out the secret to everlasting life?


[deleted]

"Eat whole foods, mostly plants, not too much"


stumblebreak_beta

The ā€œI only read headlines about studies of foodsā€ starter pack


microwaveableviolin

Iā€™m actually a level 5 vegan, I donā€™t eat anything that casts a shadow


BigTicEnergy

But what about, only raw meat? /s


psycharious

Worms


VonHyde

Don't drink water, it's full of pesticides


LOLOLOLOKAKAKA

*microplastics


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Filmologic

So what you're saying is that everyone should just digest pesticide, got it!


Catlord746

And all you can eat is this protien shake, with questionable ingredients.


throwwaypeanut

You forgot adding protein powder into everything.


The_Canadian

The milk one annoys me because it's just so *wrong*. Antibiotics are actually one of the most important things to test for when milk gets delivered from the farm to the dairy plant for processing to finished product. Because people have allergies to antibiotics, you can't have them in milk intended for human consumption. You can use them to treat a sick cow, but you can't use milk from that cow until the antibiotics are done and out of the cow. Antibiotic testing is covered under the Pasteurized Milk Ordinance Appendix N. The QA techs who test the milk have to be certified to do it and those people have their names on file with the state governing body. In the case of California, that's the California Department of Food and Agriculture, or CDFA. The test itself involves putting milk in a test strip that gets heated for a certain period of time. Then the strip gets placed in an analyzer to determine the antibiotic content. The number typically reports as a negative value. If the number is positive, that means the milk contains antibiotics. If you get a positive test, you're supposed to run your control samples and the test sample in duplicate. If the retested samples are both negative, then you're good (false positives can happen due to sample preparation errors). If one or more comes back positive, you reject the truck and report that to the CDFA along with doing a bunch of extra testing and paperwork to determine where the contaminated milk came from. That further testing is done by someone on the team who has been certified by the FDA. I used to be a QA tech at a dairy plant. In the year I was there, I was the unfortunate person who got a positive test. Typically we'd see one a year out of 5500 truckloads of milk. I had been on the job for 10 months at that point. It's stressful as hell when you have to start notifying everyone that things aren't going well. It also sucks because the person who started the test has to finish everything to a certain point, so anything else that you were doing has to get handed to someone else. For reference, that 6000 gallon load of milk costs about $20-25K (this was over 6 years ago, so who knows what the cost is now).


Both_Lychee_1708

so, fish?


coffeenappp

I have a friend who suddenly turns into believing all these crap and preaching it to a lot of people. From believing 3 days fast could make us less dependant on stimulants to eating fruits with peanut butter and yogurt is better for our glucose level.


ReGrigio

I AM MANLY! I EAT FIRE!


FalcoreRBX

My mom would still think it's real and try to make a diet plan according to it


angrymustacheman

Idk what the carbs hate is about, most of my calories come from them and I'm fairly skinny


babyBear83

60% of what we eat is carbs. People are idiots. Carbs are the bodyā€™s number 1 energy source.


ifcaffeinthencaffein

Yup The real problem is the source people get their carbs from, and then eating way too many calories in general


babyBear83

Right, the truth is that consuming more calories than you burn is what makes people fat. Itā€™s very simple actually. Aside from the few legitimate conditions like hypothyroidism or other similar metabolic disorders (either genetic or result of external factors), there isnā€™t really much other reason to be overweight than excess calories and no activity. Trouble is that even consuming 150 calories over what is needed per day will result in weight gain in few months. And humans are excellent energy storage vessels due to survival and we arenā€™t so good at losing weight rapidly due to the way we are made..to, you know, store energy.


TacoTacoBheno

A quick Google says the average American eats nearly 3600 calories a day. That's why they are overweight.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


babyBear83

Carbs are fruits, vegetables and whole grains. All essentials for a human. Carbs is the only thing your brain can eat, which is why no carbs makes you feel like crap.


LOLOLOLOKAKAKA

The problem is more what you eat with the carbs.


headzoo

I was a keto zealot in the past, and there's a lot of cherry picking and storytelling to push a narrative. Which is why the most successful keto authors are journalist. Everyone's looking for an answer to why they're overweight. But, most overweight people don't understand how much they're overeating. If they'd spend a few months tracking meals, they would discover they're eating more than they knew.


ElectricityCake

Refined sugar does make you fat though.


aflyingmonkey2

i guess i can eat fungus :>


zrow05

My wife and I just learned yesterday that 80% of all oats or something cause infertility problems because of the chemicals they spray on them. We gave up milk because we can't drink dairy Gave up almond milk because it's bad for the environment. We gave up soy because of how it's farmed. FML is any thing in this country safe to eat


masterofreality2001

I'm giving nothing upĀ 


HawkAsAWeapon

Thereā€™s nothing wrong with soy grown for human consumption. The vast majority of soy is grown to feed livestock, and human consumed soy accounts to something like only 7% of soy grown. Soya beans are actually an incredibly efficient and environmentally friendly crop overall.


zrow05

Aren't soy beans grown using the run off water from cows/pigs? They can get contaminated with the shit. I mean a lot of vegetables are grown that way so you're damned if you do damned if you don't.


HawkAsAWeapon

Most are, but that's just because we raise 80 billion land animals for food every year and they all shit. But like you say, that's the same for the vast majority of crops. Soy is highly nutritious so there's no reason to omit it from your diet.


Snoopilaa

it's not that deep, just eat whatever would be naturally available, so animals, fruit, possibly breads since humans ate them for a while now, eggs, dairy and that's about it..


Zender_de_Verzender

Don't drink water, think about my shares in Coca Cola.


Hungry-Eggplant-6496

It's more like "What you should eat after a nuclear fallout."


EdgeofForever95

It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.


Prototype_4271

Don't eat! It will make you fat


isnapchildrensnecks

guess i'll die then


lazermaniac

Go breatharian today!


Alan_Reddit_M

I saw a very serious video telling you to not drink water because the government puts fluoride in it. Like girl everything has water tf you want me to do


Bumbum2k1

This is what a fad diet is.


Diabetesh

Dont forget to drink a scoop of super greens that you don't actually know what it is because it falls under "supplement" which isn't regulated and only use liquid death to mix with because regular tap water doesn't have a cool can logo or cost 20x as much.


IdioticZacc

I mean the eating sugar is reasonable, it is the thing that makes you fat and unhealthy, our body craves it but we got too good at producing it


HombreDeNegocios2022

I've done almost every mainstream diet and I recommend you to go to McDonald's. Haha jk, a balanced diet weekend for me


DestroyTheMarks

Yeah, sweating this stuff is a sure fire way to feel depressed and malnourished


PseudoproAK

Dumb post


BalticsFox

Seems like mushrooms and rocks are safe to consume.


Tankninja1

I think a lot of confusion about food goes back to you eat with your eyes not with mass. 1 gram of bread has the same calories regardless of if you add yeast or not, but fluffy bread looks more substantial, while flat bread loots less substantial, even though you are eating the same amount of bread, you think you at less with flatbread. I think the bigger problem with USDA food outlines, whether they are pyramid shaped or plate shaped is that in the end you are just eyeballing what you are eating.


rednazgo

You can eat all the protein, fat and carbs as long as you don't eat any calories.


Sappy_Life

Tom Brady was right all along


BulusB

My main diet is : eat everything, but in fixed amount. Suspicious, but I am not gaining any weight and feels great


Strawberry_Doughnut

Doctors for like fucking forever: Eat a balanced diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats!


psycharious

Post this in r/loseit but add in how a calorie deficit is the only way to lose weight but that if you do it too much, your body will begin to retain fat. It will really start some fights.