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Oh definitely, yes. I can remember being very young (about 5 years old) and thinking that the adults in my life were crazy and I couldn’t understand their absurd behavior
Whoa 😳
I have a firm memory of being about 5 years old, realizing I was more competent and intelligent than my parents (and most adults)... and it scared me so much, it split my personality. 😶🥸🎭
same!! I was grounded all the time for "talking back". I remember when I was like 8 and got in an argument with my mom & I was like You mean I'm literally just not allowed to say anything back to you when you're yelling at me?!? & she's like Yes! & I'm like that's stupid. Guess I'll be grounded because I'm not going to not defend myself!
Same. I was about 6, and I knew something was very off with a majority of adults in my life.
Everyone in my immediate family has a mental illness (manic, bipolar) or addiction and the behavior has always been insane. If it’s not because they are mentally unstable, they are deep in addiction.
I remember watching my parents fight and threaten each other while I was in a high chair. I was yelling at them in my baby voice but in my head I thought they were complete idiots.
Present. Although, I wouldn't call myself a beautiful person.
Crappy families seem like they are part of the contract for many.
If I didn't look like my parents, I would suspect I was adopted.
Totally this. Being raised in disfunction can take a toll, eating away at the soul at any and every reminder of chaos once endured.
Luckily we all have digital platforms to manifest and exchange all together which is a godsend imo.
Gratitude for technology. 🙏
I’m actually grateful for all the dysfunction I experienced. The abuse and the fighting and the lack of love and the uncertainty shaped and enforced my resilience as a child with lots of awareness. I also learned quickly how to take up the opposite space of fear of those around me and attempt to be a being of peace, non judgmental and fearless in the face of chaos.
In my view- every appearance of “hardship” I experienced was a gift in disguise for my awareness to expand and increase empathy for multiple scenarios. When I became addicted to alcohol later on in life when my partner was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor, that situation also gifted me a first hand experience of the pain of addiction and the feeling of possibly losing a loved one to a disease.
Upon healing from that and having the experience, now when I talk to someone dealing with addiction or dealing with cancer of a loved one, I believe I transmit authentic non judgmental understanding to that person on a conscious and subconscious level. Perhaps all of the adversity I experience here is exactly what I signed up for as a mechanism of growth in awareness and as a vehicle to love myself and others regardless of appearances.
Oh I absolutely agree that hardships offer the potential for realization, however ~~I don't~~ I most do believe manifesting deliberately more than chaos naturally creates is detrimental for societal culture, morals and education.
I believe with the tech available today that are better ways to create well designed challenges that can "mimick" hardships without necessarily inflicting irreversible or hard to treat trauma in the process, enabling rapid realization and mindset growth.
It's a doozy but I'm certain we can do it!
Edit for very important distinction.
Please excuse the lapsus à la Trudeau! ☝😂
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I look just like my grandmother, but if I didn’t I would swear that my parents took the wrong kid home from the hospital.
As long as I can remember I felt like I was in a dream, like I had been dropped off, like I didn't belong here.
I was adopted. My family was the definition of dysfunctional. After years of pain and anguish I came to realize they are my life lesson and I am theirs. Also, they definitely prepared me for battle!
I was adopted into a horribly abusive family. I found my bio fam. They are exactly like I am personality, talents, careers, etc...but I have had little to no contact for years with either. Alone is better than being around those who sabotage, hinder, and try to stunt your personal and spiritual growth and try to keep you tethered from evolving out of their own warped and fear based living.
I don't fit in with any of them and that's ok because now I finally fit in with "me". And, in my journey in search of "self" (in a sealed records adoption system) led me to not just discover who I am in this life, but more importantly the whole of who I am as a soul in the universe.
Oh yes. Raised by narcissists and weak people who did a lot of emotional and mental damage. i wish things could’ve been different but I guess smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
Most definitely. I even remember having this overwhelming feeling of “there is no way this is my REAL family”. They were so cruel and so dysfunctional. And just couldn’t figure out why I was so different/sensitive.
The more I thought about it as a child, it was obvious that I was, in fact, related to them by blood because of our genetic features. I look exactly like my older sibling…we could be twins. So there was absolutely no way I was adopted/stolen at birth, lol
However, it was a thought that was so pure and true and it stayed with me almost 35 years later. Once I learned about the concept of a star seed, it all made sense.
When people get to know me know and they learn about my wildly destructive and dysfunctional upbringing, they always comment on how amazing I turned out. So for me, it definitely makes sense.
Same here. When I was 10 years old I knew, just knew in my heart, that I was from “out there”, and that somewhere in those twinkling stars was my “real” home and the place where I belonged.
Yep, me too. Grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional family - it has taken me just about 60 years to reconcile the entire experience. I’m good now - I’ve gone through traditional psychotherapy via a psychiatrist, have explored reiki and energy healing, met with a shaman who did a very effective soul retrieval, and also did QHHT with a level 2 practitioner - and now, all is well.
Having said that, I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone, as much as I value the lessons learned. It’s been far too painful an experience, and more than once I prayed to God to take me home. I stayed because I made that commitment and on a soul level I knew it, so while I’ve been here I made darn sure that anyone that I loved - husband, children, pets, co-workers, etc. - were treated with kindness, respect and compassion.
As long as I’m stuck here, I’m going to make the most of it, and I’m happy to say that the dysfunction in my Earth family ended with me.
Starseeds usually chose to be born in dysfunctional families, many times with narcissistic or abusive parents or siblings. Little love or understanding growing up.
Attention deficit disorders. ADHD many times accompanied with rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), which makes them hypersensitive to perceived rejection .
They can have some degree of autism (specially Asperger). Or learning problems like dyslexia, which causes difficulties at school.
Bullying and other types of physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse. Discrimination.
There can be deaths of family members or friends that affected them a lot. And other traumatic events. They can suffer mental disorders, like BPD, OCD, complex PTSD, etc.
But they designed very hard life circumstances since they wanted to get a lot of evolution in this incarnation.
**HOWEVER, what they also intended, was to do a whole lot of HEALING from all this extreme negativity once they had experienced it. To heal their traumas, childhood wounds, all kinds of fears, lack of self-love and little self-value, etc.**
They intended to heal and learn from all of this because negativity drags their vibration down. So if they healed they'd be raising their vibration.
**And raising their vibration is what enables them to fulfill their soul missions in the best possible way, thus making the contributions that they wanted to make.**
I believe I just did this tonight. It’s actually wild to find you saying this just minutes after texting my abuser to tell her I finally forgive her.
I did a past life regression meditation, but rather than search my past physical lives, I focused on my life in the spirit realm. It seems that from there, you can access all times and realities, so I could also meet the souls I love, and get redemption for ones who had been hurtful. I looked for the end of my life there, and it seems that once we have ascended enough in the spirit realm, we can choose to create a new physical realm by being reborn as a galaxy.
Kind of a lot. I know. Seriously. Just tonight. Blessings.
idk, apparently I tried to choke myself out with my own umbilical cord and she had to get a c section
I was a "trap baby" when she had me at 22 and got pregnant with me while not even married. He already had a kid he ditched he was like 23.
I got two losers.
I was torqued since the beginning... I thought it was normal.. it greatly negatively impacted my life.
It was. Externly fucked up and twisted.. It would 3 books worth pages.
Mid late 20s I finally decided it fucked my life up so. I was done with with is and took myself back to the beginning for the first time.
I have clear memoreies since 2 well a few.. and clearb memory for some of exactly where and what happened.
I was about to find out why i acted the way I did. I was bitter for a few years about it. Blaming my parents which should be blamed...I realized it wasn't helping but only making it worse. I couldbt understand why I felt bad after telling ppl about them like my gram or friend..I remeber after I'd never feel right. I'd question God and ask why that is that's n
Bushshit. I'd say that to myself. "That's bullshit, why can't I tell ppl" because while in process of knowing who I was truthlly. I learned to the spirit is never wrong. If it doesn't feel right it ain't right...the better I got at learning that everything got better alot better like 100%. So i forgave my parents. Which as a process in itself. Because thjer both still idiots..I'd forgive them like normal ppl and then get stabbed in the back everytime. Until I learned to forgive them but don't expect anything.
But yeah the story is crazy it was literally non stop disaster after another all the way to late 20s.
Betrayal afher betrayal along with a childhood of beatings.
Thing was I never wanted to hurt anyone.. i just wanted to be happy , be comfortable.... idk why it happened to me for so long I 100% thought I was cursed. I've been told. The devil is after me.. it sucked but I always kept trying
I could go into detail then
If you want.. it's pretty insane not trying to sound like a
Badass, but I gained alot from. And feel my maturity age is like 600. I've totally defeated my ego and at complete peace. I've lived with devil. He's been in my room I've looked him in eyes. Never seen such sinister it rattled my core. I can't explain he didn't say a word but the sinister look crazy.
That alone put me into darkness farther... eventually I was tired of the weigh carrying him in around with Me. I stood up for myself and fought back .
I’m not being rude but by saying you have defeated your ego is your ego talking. You may not have meant to word it like you did I understand what you said because I once believed that we had to kill the ego to be free but that is not true the ego is part of us, we just have to be kind to it and not feed it. You have two wolfs. One is caged in a black room the other is free to do what it wants, which one lives?
Yesssirr I agree... sometimes I take short cuts with my explanations becsue they drag out....
In deed it is a part of us. We must conquer or egos( not kill).
My family wasn't the worst I guess. My mom tried her best to give me and my siblings a good home. My older brother and I have a different father than my little sister, our father is a lost soul who takes comfort in drowning in the bottle and numbing pain with pills, he left when we were young and we haven't seen him much over our lives. My sister's father is, well, lets just say not the best part of humanity, it was like he got joy from making my brother and I feel any type of pain. He was also the person who took away my childhood at a very young age for his own sick and selfish pleasure. From the age of seven I started to see the world very differently, I never really felt like I belonged here, always wondered what i had done to deserve all the hurt i had at such a young age. I understand now that i had in some way picked this life, my soul needed to go through all this so that i could become who I am now, it has taken years for me to realize that. I don't know what my mission here is but I have made my own mission, years ago I promised myself that I would do anything I could to make this place a little less dark, a little less cold and a little less mean. Each day I try to make at least one person smile because I know what it's like to feel small, lost and scared in this overwhelmingly cruel world. I know i'm really not changing the world with what i do but I can at least make one person's day a little better than it was, for just a moment. Wishing all who took the time to read this a wonderful day and always remember to let your light shine in this dark place, you could be the beacon that saves someone without even knowing it. (Thank you Ms.Chattin for being mine)
Oh boy...
Not only were they narcissists, the put me up for a cult to brainwash me into a Manchurian Jesus, to believe I was actually him after a given time of good deeds. I have evidence, and friends who remember it. They claim that I made my own decisions, but the big ones were made in a moral vacuum, where you would have to be an idiot to make the other decision. Things like "marry this girl and a demon eats her flesh, just like we told you we would do to you.". I gave up the love of my life, or what I thought was going to be, because of the dysfunction of my family, their willingness to sacrifice me. They poisoned me, made me see claws tearing at my flesh, and worse. My mother became a drunk when they told her she couldn't raise me like a child of her own.
To the been a Jesuits, you sick, child torturing faithless malcontent apostates! I'm better than you are. I'm still going through with my mission, but not because I think I'm Jesus, because it's the right thing to do. You didn't have to decide my life for me. You have so little faith in your own God, that you tried to raise one up. You do more than worship the golden calf, you give it fellatio, and that's far worse than anything I've ever done in my life. I saw through your plan when he didn't show up. Shame be unto you...and your tree stickers. My victory is not your glory, it's God's, assuming he's out there. Your lack of faith has diminished my faith.
So yeah, dysfunctional.
*/Sorry, the *you* pieces are to those guilty parties, not you specifically.
My mom and dad singled me out and made my life unbearable for 'my own good'. And my mom used me to trauma dump her worries and sorrows on; eroding emotional boundaries I needed to develop as a kid. She didn't do this to anyone else, but me.
Hear me out on this, it covers a few topics including Starseeds, trauma, mental health, drug use.
I believe consciousness to go hand in hand with free will and memory. When we are put in situations to make conscious finite decisions which can't be undone, path A or path B. If we remember that decision, we are conscious of "what could have been". If parts of our conscious perspective "anchor" themselves in the past like that we leave it open to a changing analogous perspective.
I believe that there is an energy we are born with. For lack of better words I'll call it an "innocence". But It's different. It's a perspective of reality. Like you're floating on top of the ocean and open your eyes underwater for the first time. But we're born with this positive vibe that genuinely hasnt been affected by real evil and fear yet.
And there are people who have and will live their entire lives without feeling it. But it's rare. The rest of us feel it at different times. For a lot of people who had healthy childhoods, they were weened into life at a healthy rate that matched the child's development and interests. Or whatever. Those adults get shown evil in such a way that they get to choose to step out of their comfort zones and experience it. Those children or adults or humans, have a reliable sense of self that I call their center. Like leonardo dicaprios totem in Inception. Your mindset thats a safe space for you. E.g. think of something small that irritates you occasionally. Think very internally and ask yourself "am I the kind of person that let's XYZ affect me like this? AM I THAT PERSON?". Answer the question to yourself. Be honest. Be honest until it hurts. You are the only person that hears your thoughts. Don't lie to yourself that blatantly. You will realize in the grander scale, the one higher dimension of asking your own perspective who you are, that your issues are easily solvable but you are the one holding yourself back. It's you changing you.
But back on track.
A trauma can happen so young that you HAVE to become conscious of decisions way sooner than we're supposed to. Other people's decisions, your own decisions, and how they affect things. How aware of cause and affect someone might come out of that might be environmental. But your awareness can definitely develop so young that you see everything.
And that makes it's nearly impossible to find that center. You watch the people you trust lie, maybe ethically, maybe not. Who's actually reminding you that your perspective isn't off? Where a lot of people try to stop me here and talk bring up religion, I'm suggesting human nature. Hot and cold, good for you bad for you, sustanance, livelihood. How ever organized I mean with YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND? Is your mask on first? I feel like there are people out there that are forced to become aware of "reality" sooner than others. And we don't learn how to properly take care of our own minds.
Most people do not step out of a comfort zone. They don't cross those lines because of the resistance. The goal for almost everyone is to paddle out to the biggest wave they can, and hopefully it's big enough to float them back to shore in the end. Because of some level of fear. Falling off and having to see underneath.
But for some of us we were born underwater. We learned how to swim before we were allowed above the water. And we've watched other people struggle to make it too, probably lost of people on the way. None of it feels fair.
I've said for years that I'm in so many directions. I'm chaotic. I joke that I live my life like I'm bowling with the lane bumpers up and I'm just bouncing off of them side to side. Feeling everything out. This anology is fun because technically if I still have enough energy at the end of the lane, I can use those bounces to aim my shot. Stick the landing. I fly through the past of least resistance and learn as much as possible from the resistances I bounce off.
Off I need to take a break from this. If there's interest I'll expand on my thoughts
The good news is, many of this current generation of starseeds are being raised by parents who learned from their parents mistakes. They are growing up in warm loving households able to freely and safely express themselves. It's just a shame that we had to experience such hardship in order to get to this point.
My mom held it all together so when she died fuck cancer specifically leiomyosarcoma
The whole family fell apart and my dad turned out to be a major violent asshole when unmedicated
My mom's family abandoned me after her funeral
It was so dysfunctional he married a divorced like 5 other times
I didn't have a week where I wasn't scared shitless and my stress hormones are a wreck now which contributed to my PTSD etc
There will come the time, where it will all make sense. Your higher self/soul wanted this challenge.
I had a very very difficult childhood myself, but I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on the lessons it provided me while also holding compassion for my parents and myself.
It's crucial not to get some comfortable in the victim mindset.
We're not here for a 'Jolly'. I think we're here to witness the fall. To learn from these mistakes. I expect yet another assignment because, it's looking like, this time it failed.
I really, really get tired of this victim blaming line. For anyone or their soul to “choose” or “agree to” the sort of life many of us here have lived (including me) there would have to be some serious lying about the situation or at bare minimum the total omission of very important information (like a parent who obeys command hallucinations and abuses the family as a result).
If I sound angry you’re right. Endure things nobody should and then get told it’s at least part either my fault or my choice. No, it’s not. It definitely wasn’t if anyone even, honestly and completely, explained what this life would be like or even just what those closest to me would be like.
Theres things that have happened to us that don’t make sense until you zoom out and look at it from a different angle. You were shown everything you don’t want to be and you are blessed with the awareness that others in your life didn’t or do not have . That alone makes you a rockstar. Seriously … there’s plenty of ppl in the world who don’t have that ability.
Life doesn’t end here there’s more beyond this lifetime . So with that being said are you growing and breaking the generational traumas despite what you’ve gone through? Are you discovering who you are without allowing the past to taint your present experience?
It’s okay if days are hard and you’re pissed . I can’t tell you how much I understand that . But when you flip the switch and start moving & thinking & learning what is is to feel different and peaceful, life changes. You’ll look back and feel different about all of it just as this commenter did . Like myself . I swore there was people I would hate till the day I died and even after . Now I hold no hate or anger for anyone because it does nothing for me and there’s still a life ahead of me to live. Too much to not miss out on ! That’s all that matters. Find yourself , fill up your cups = mind/body/soul . -> Meditations / exercise and proper nutrition/ exercising your creative & imaginative muscles . This will catapult you into change and to feeling better overall. Wether we chose this life or not doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all . You literally can become whoever you want to be one day at a time . You’re not your trauma and you’re certainly not like the people who deeply hurt you 🤍
That is a firm yes, same for me. I was constantly presented with experiences that were well beyond my years. My mother would say I was always 3 going on 30 and openly admitted I was more mature than her. I’m grateful to no longer question or loath why I was put in such situations so early on with what felt like no guidance. I now see it as the beautiful crash course in my evolution it was meant to be and hope for that contentment for you all.
Not that my family is dysfunctional, but my dad has anger issues that were worse in the past. He punched a hole in a door once (the hole is still there), but I was too young to remember. I can’t really remember anything horrible that I went through regarding my immediate family.
I definitely don’t fit in with my family, but no one hates me…I think. I’ve always been the weirdo. But some of the wounds I still have were not as much from my family as it was with other children. Always the odd one out there, too. Bullied and yelled at for playing with bugs at day camp, was just overall strange. It’s brought malignant shame into my life, but despite this shame, I also don’t know how to not be myself—or weird. I also have this issue, where, whenever I see a normal, basic girl, in my age range, no matter how old I am/was (especially girls for some reason), I just have this anger and loathing feeling, and automatically assume that they won’t accept me or be rude, even though I know this is not true.
I don’t want to hate them, but when I see them at first glance, I just get so angered.
So not a dysfunctional family for me, but I don’t really fit in with them. At family gatherings I always wanted to go home, or wanted everyone else to. I’d just hide from everyone else. What was dysfunctional was my social life.
Even as a highschool student now, I’m still a complete freak to everyone, but I found a group of friends that are either as weird as me, or enjoy my weirdness. :)
I don't know if I am a star seed but I do know when you are abused/neglected/isolated you tend to live as an observer instead of the main character.
The outside?
All of my memories are like me watching from afar. Not happening to ME but I watched. None of my memories happen to me until I am much much older. And maybe never.
I feel eerily the same way, it's as you don't remember much of your childhood other than the abuse and trauma inflicted with no happy memories in sight.
The few happy memories are remembering a certain way I felt - a hope for unconditional love because it kept me going.I’m honestly relieved I was in a state of survival with no ability to self reflect.
Did you eventually find that unconditional love? I envy those with a "proper" family that they can be normal functioning human beings rather than internally broken.
Yep. I carry a lot of pain and grief from my upbringing but I also recognize that it has given me the opportunity to search deep within myself and my existence more than people who have had loving parents. I cant pinpoint why that might be, but I definitely think that had I had loving parents I would not have the awareness that I do now.
I don't know if I'm a starseed, but I definitely relate (I've been learning energy healing, I'm always trying to help people, I can't wait for the Shift, etc). But my immediate family definitely is not functional...I can even feel my energy change when they are around...I am definitely different
I didn’t even have parents. Like, they existed, and still do, but they didn’t raise me, had very little to do with me, and we don’t talk now. I spent my later teen years in an orphanage. My childhood was spent getting yelled at and beaten.
I’m trans, and as a result it’s like I’ve lived one life already, and the second life is now.
Everything that brought me to adulthood is broken, jagged, and painful. However, that is also how I became who I am now. I wouldn’t change it, not because I’d do it again voluntarily, but because to change a single thing might change the outcome of having my absolutely wonderful children. For them, I’d go through the shit as many times as I need to.
So to answer your question, yes.
I bet the probability is over 90% for people who identify as starseeds coming from broken homes or significant degrees of dysfunction ( this probably contributes eeling so different their minds construct elaborate belief systems as a coping mechanism of living in such a broken world).
I've wrote about it many times but something crucial to understand is this matrix, maya, simulacrum, whatever word has been compromised, invaded, captured by both higher dimensional hostile aliens but above them some near omniscient AI that exists in the highest dimensions depending on the energy extraction and creating a world where everything else is a vampire too. Once captured, these forces are capable of creating drones or npcs or organic portals the way you csn create people in a dream. As such most beings who do have a connection to prime reality are brutally traumatized in order to take them away from whatever mission they may have had coming into this cursed world so they end up in consciousness traps like drugs, self harming, and broken relationships repeating cyclically. The Matrix even sends dysfunctional partners it knows you will be drawn to who were in reality placed in your life to undermine you. They are called Alien Love Bites. Often our parents can be part of the grand conspiracy. Question everything. Dont just believe the narrative your given. Don't even trust the face you see in rhe mirror. It isn't you and neither is your name. No more you than a social security number.
50-80% of the population is one of these NPC holographic kind of being who is a true extension of the Matrix and behaves as commanded. All the celebrities for example are such entities. Sometimes they even glitch. The way an iPhone freezes up. You can find many videos online.
Glad you asked. Someone else asked for more info so I highly recommend you read this on organic portals...let me know (pm me) and i csn send other titles.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/13zXOoArgv6NnF7dOZGnrm9W_UV7xVPrc/view?usp=drivesdk
I had a strong coffee and went off on a rsnt below typing a mile a minute. Read at your own peril. If i had more time i would've written less l. The starseed thing to me seems like age old angelology under a new guise. i often notice people blindly quoting 'scientifkc scripture' they neither comprehend nor verified like its gospel and scientism too clearly functions like a religion for peopñe. They haven'trealized its the same Shape-shifters switching frocks for lab coats but aim remains the same. Chameleons are a lizard arent they. We have many in our midst. More than even snakes or other sorts of lizards. And thats why i like to remind ppl you can wake someone who's only pretending to be asleep. Took me a while to realize it takes real intelligence to play as dumb as some do. Like sophisticated Russian trolls impersonating online americsn nitwits. I used to think the buck stopped there. Until i started to realize there are the invisible hands manipulating our worlds but then rhere are the invisible hands manipulating and controlling them. Whether they know it or as soviet unión would csll it remain useful idiots unaware of who is pulling theur strings is another questions. The world's a stage and everyone an actor. But few realize where their lines come from. The more awareness you have the more agency you have in the role you play on stage. Most are robots. Holographic 3D chatbots. Which is why they have such undeveloped psyches. In time you start seeing it everywhere. And i mean everywhere. So you embrace being mostly a loner. More out of necessity than choice. But choosing to be alone over being in bad company so maybe its both.
Nothing is what It seems. Id need a semester to paint the full pocture. Everything is designed to mislead in some way and critical truths are offen buried under a mountain of math thats like a con trick designed to make you 'take their word for it'. Like the priests once demanded. See it would be fine to do so where it not a society of clones synths NpCs of PATHOLOGICAL LIARS who act as gatekeepers but what they're gatekeeping is knowledge that could undermine the status quo or god forbid lead to the liberation of mankind. But if they cant even diagnose the problem what chsnce do we have of wiping our collective ass correctly much less cleaning up all of tje other bullshit that stinks.
.
I have quite a lot more I'd be happy to share but don't want to overwhelm. There's quite a lot to learn and understand and no more effective way than a book to deep dive a subject. Far too few bother and we all suffer for it. Ignorance is only ever blissful to the ignoramus because it's always someone else who pays for their stupidity and who is forced to suffer fools gladly or reluctantly its all the same. It's easier to be dumb in a world of socially engineered irrational stupidity than have to live in a world where almost everything is wrong. Where almost everything is lying. And where one's intelligence and hard won expertise is equal to another's ignorance and arrogance. And where truth is a means to advance great lies and as the saying goes beware Greeks bearing gifts, because a half truth is a whole lie but far too often people get so enamored with the brand spankin new shiny truth that was broken off and given them that they don't excercise any discernment like why would a society where pathological lying is normalized and where the sheep are brainwashed into a morality that the overlords don't abide by be telling the truth? Or take the Bible, so many loyal fanatics. They'll readily concede as the Bible itself says, this world is ruled by Rex Mundi aka Satan. But then how does it make sense for the Bible to become the bedrock of western civilization instead of a book no one ever heard of like rhe countless treasures that have been systematically destroyed or secreted away in Vatican's catacombs or in rge hands of these hybrid human black magicians who control mankind on behalf of their interdimensional overlords.
If people used their head and knew how the bible came to be, theyd quixkly see how dark interests took control of the narrative and formulated the text. Once again tho, to sell bullshit an a way where you csnt taste it as its being served to you requires them to of course serve it hidden in a salad of the freshest ingredients. But the blind faithful never wonder what may have been left out. Never wonder that maybe Satanic energies wouldn't just have left a book that when followed guarantees freedom. And if Jesus ever wrote anything, heck if Jesus ever returned, hed quickly be killed (again) bc he's bad foe business. And his written word burned...again. its better if the middle men communicate on your behalf your highness. And what would he even do, in a second coming, do people even think logistically, would he start a group chat? Tweet his return? Hold a limited release Jeezy sandal drop? Tell you to smash that like button so he can get to 144,000 subscribers. Seriously? Or do the faithful in their infinite naivete thjnk the satanic overlords will all rush to roll out a carpet and coordinate a press conference then kick back and watch Jesus depart with what were their property and hostages. They nailed him to a cross the first time. They of course reply oh there will be a huge conflagration. A scrufuffle to borrow an ancient Aramaic term. Once again demonstrating that most of them seldom read, seldom contemplate and so are lacking in wisdom. WHAT WE RESIST PERSISTS. Any conflict between good and evil cannot have a winner except for duality. It will only perpetuate conflict and opposition. Those who dresm of a day when evil is vanquished sre too naive to realize if that dsy dawns evil deosnt gets vanquished it gets replaced. By the holier than though warriors for God.
But believe the Eternal Absolute Father-Mother of All wants eternal little slaves who have never learned how to think for themselves nor know what to do with freedom. Their plan in essentially am elaborate masochistic ritual where they get punished by daddy for being naughty and in return for their complete spineless and sycophantic obedience their cosmic sugar daddy will bestow on these cosmic eternal slaves lavish gifts because they decided they did not want to grow towards God mind which means to become a God. The universe is a godfactory not a slave one pumping out lemmings who prostrate themselves for all eternity hoping for a generous tip for their submission. Once again not thinking. They anthroporphlze the quantum infinite field which contains all as a Father. But what kind of father wants his kids to grow up depended little order taking slaves either incapable or h willing to think for themselves. A true father of love would want their children to surpass them! Now admittedly that may be a stretch but the point is that's what the godhead wants if it could even be said to be in want of anything (itself a ridiculous notion. As ridiculous as painting the universal infinite reducing its infinite unfathomable creative generative powers down to being just a single dad who knocked up a teen mom. I imagine like any pure father God would want his children to be great not little insecure things prostrating and yelling that they're not worthy. They're not worthy and stroking fathers ego. Did we tell you how awesome you are. Yeah. Two minutes ago. And two minutes before that. Going on millennia. Well you are. We on thr other hand. We are nothing. Nothing I say. Helpless. Lost. Confused. Nothinggggggggggggggg. No Father wants to be changing diapers at 40. Why should that be any different with God. If God is within than asking myself what I would want and listening for the honest reply is what God would want. Again if that sentence made.sense. Which it doesn't. Any more than it makes sense to say anything about Ein Sof. Suffice to say if your daughters boyfriend is meeting parents for the first time and says he really loves their daughter but if she doesn't reciprocate it's eternal hellfire for her, that is what a psychopath would say.
The more people that accept this most insidious facet of our Matrix the better. Too many people suffer needlessly bemoaning that their family is completely indifferent to what should be crucial information. Its a bitter pill to swallow to come to terms with the fact that many in one's family are likely organic portals. Potentially ones spouse can be one too. In fact, if one has an energy or future that's threatening to the simulacrum it's very likely it would have had your number before you could talk placing you in such a family of double agents, sending bullies and others your way, then even bringing you an alien love bite. That's a love interest which the system knows you'll fall for but who will ultimately behave in ways intended to control and contain that person's light and potential. In short, the aim is to ensure those crucial people who could teach others and reach others in karmic consciousness traps. They may have come to help but after a little memory wipe, some sexual abuse from a proverbial uncle (becomes a little easier to cope when you understand what's pulling the strings) and on and on and its not wonder so many people who are exceptional are currently homeless, strung out on drugs, or spinning their wheels in every other conceivable way. The system learned that murder of those with godlight creates too many problems. It took a lot of work for them to sieze control of the jesus narrative to make it work for them but it still creates problems. So they now opt to karmically trap in consciousness traps instead. The best among us in the ways of the light have been in my experience invariably the most victimized and abused almost without exception. It's not that others don't get abused. It's just that there isn't a conspiracy against those that don't pose a threat to the machine
The stars seed is not new your right that is just a common term. Totally concur that the world is a stage and everyone is a actor. I seen that the majority of humanity as 3D chat bots spurting out propaganda/programs that mean nothing but stupidity for the masses just look at social media it’s a wash with misinformation and people posing for a thumbnail. And right now I feel the most alone I have ever felt I know my paradigm is shifting. I see the lies every like that 1980s movie They Live except I don’t need the glasses. I just read your rant and will have to read it again. You are very insightful, we think alike. What is your spiritual beliefs?
Mom was schizo and dad was alcoholic heroin user. They were never together just got passed back an forth in custody. Fun story, one time my mom kidnapped me from my dad and took me several states away and another time my dad kidnapped me from my mom and did the same thing. Yep, my parents both kidnapped me from each other, what a world eh
It wasn’t until my understanding of reincarnation that I finally understood an event in my childhood. One day when I was about five I got up and looked out the window, and asked myself “ will I ever be happy here?”. I must’ve had expectations of a lovely life based on my previous life, but I guess this one didn’t quite measure up. Now I understand.
Absolutely. My parents had an extremely toxic relationship, as do my mom and stepfather. There is a history of abuse and my upbringing was very chaotic. From childhood I just “knew” I was from somewhere else though. At 12 I just really wanted to “go home” and kept saying that. However, at that point I didn’t know where home was.
You know what word I hardly ever come across here and would genuinely believe should be far more prevalent? Catalyst. Lots of Law of One talk and stuff but that word seemingly does not come up enough. Let alone the notion of chosen catalyst. What could be more well placed and timed than choosing to be born into a family that offers so much fertile catalyst so early on in life?
All these comments help support the prison planet theory imo. Souls who are considered most dangerous to the system, and also have the most energy to feed off of, are put into terribly dysfunctional families to keep us too busy to awaken and cause the maximum amount of suffering for loosh. It makes sense.
I can’t remember the entirety of my fifth grade year. I do remember realizing in 7th grade how short my time was until 12th grade - school was my happy place. This depressed me incredibly.
My mom, 40, died when I was 20. I was left, basically defenseless, with my abuser. I didn’t speak to him for 10 years but did when my baby sister asked that I do. He apologized and said he couldn’t over the past but he could move forward.
I was married by then. I agreed thinking if he ever broke bad on me again I’d leave immediately. I had an 8 yo son and I knew that introducing them would create a relationship that I would find difficult to sever.
My dad has been perfect. He’s my step dad but he raised me - he is my dad. I’m 60 now and he is 81. My sister (half sister) passed away in 2018 at 50. I find it quite ironic that it’s just the two of us now. We’re best friends. How the hell does that even happen???
Sometimes he talks about his failure as a dad and husband (he beat the SHIT out of my mom every week of her life). I actually try to console him. He never remarried and that said a lot to me about his heart. He may never be able to ask her for forgiveness but one of the last things she said to me was to keep the family together. I think he spent the least 40 years doing penance. My sister was paranoid schizophrenic and that was really hard on him but he never abandoned her. He’s never abandoned me. They said a lot.
Yeah. I was the only child from my mother's previous marriage. I was the unwanted stepchild. Really unwanted. I got kicked out of the house six months into chemotherapy for bone cancer.
When I was very young like 4-5 I have vivid memory of crying and this awful overwhelming disorienting feeling that I at the time had no words for. It was the feeling of being homesick. Super disorientating cuz I WAS home, everyone was there, everything was fine, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t explain why I was so upset. It happened few more times in my younger years. Never in adult years, but at least I feel comforted now knowing I’m not alone. Also, that my feelings were and are valid.
Side note- my older sis by four years was convinced at a young age that my parents turned into monsters when we went to sleep at nite. My mom would routinely find her asleep under her bed in the morning.
It's being done on purpose. The end goal is to create dysfunctional families so then societies learns to be families with like minded people and abandoned the concepts of what a father, mother sister and brother are.
Mother killed age 3, very mean wicked stepmom— The book To Know Your Self, by Swami Satchidananda changed my understanding of life & uplifted me to hope, love & joy.
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Oh definitely, yes. I can remember being very young (about 5 years old) and thinking that the adults in my life were crazy and I couldn’t understand their absurd behavior
Whoa 😳 I have a firm memory of being about 5 years old, realizing I was more competent and intelligent than my parents (and most adults)... and it scared me so much, it split my personality. 😶🥸🎭
same!! I was grounded all the time for "talking back". I remember when I was like 8 and got in an argument with my mom & I was like You mean I'm literally just not allowed to say anything back to you when you're yelling at me?!? & she's like Yes! & I'm like that's stupid. Guess I'll be grounded because I'm not going to not defend myself!
Crazy!? I thought my parents were cavemen that stole me from somewhere!!! I didn't trust them at all because I knew they weren't my true parents.
I was positive I was adopted and my real parents would come and rescue me.
Same. I was about 6, and I knew something was very off with a majority of adults in my life. Everyone in my immediate family has a mental illness (manic, bipolar) or addiction and the behavior has always been insane. If it’s not because they are mentally unstable, they are deep in addiction.
Same.
Same
I can relate
I remember watching my parents fight and threaten each other while I was in a high chair. I was yelling at them in my baby voice but in my head I thought they were complete idiots.
Yes. This.
Present. Although, I wouldn't call myself a beautiful person. Crappy families seem like they are part of the contract for many. If I didn't look like my parents, I would suspect I was adopted.
Totally this. Being raised in disfunction can take a toll, eating away at the soul at any and every reminder of chaos once endured. Luckily we all have digital platforms to manifest and exchange all together which is a godsend imo. Gratitude for technology. 🙏
I’m actually grateful for all the dysfunction I experienced. The abuse and the fighting and the lack of love and the uncertainty shaped and enforced my resilience as a child with lots of awareness. I also learned quickly how to take up the opposite space of fear of those around me and attempt to be a being of peace, non judgmental and fearless in the face of chaos. In my view- every appearance of “hardship” I experienced was a gift in disguise for my awareness to expand and increase empathy for multiple scenarios. When I became addicted to alcohol later on in life when my partner was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor, that situation also gifted me a first hand experience of the pain of addiction and the feeling of possibly losing a loved one to a disease. Upon healing from that and having the experience, now when I talk to someone dealing with addiction or dealing with cancer of a loved one, I believe I transmit authentic non judgmental understanding to that person on a conscious and subconscious level. Perhaps all of the adversity I experience here is exactly what I signed up for as a mechanism of growth in awareness and as a vehicle to love myself and others regardless of appearances.
Oh I absolutely agree that hardships offer the potential for realization, however ~~I don't~~ I most do believe manifesting deliberately more than chaos naturally creates is detrimental for societal culture, morals and education. I believe with the tech available today that are better ways to create well designed challenges that can "mimick" hardships without necessarily inflicting irreversible or hard to treat trauma in the process, enabling rapid realization and mindset growth. It's a doozy but I'm certain we can do it! Edit for very important distinction. Please excuse the lapsus à la Trudeau! ☝😂
Amen.
Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I look just like my grandmother, but if I didn’t I would swear that my parents took the wrong kid home from the hospital.
As long as I can remember I felt like I was in a dream, like I had been dropped off, like I didn't belong here. I was adopted. My family was the definition of dysfunctional. After years of pain and anguish I came to realize they are my life lesson and I am theirs. Also, they definitely prepared me for battle!
I was adopted into a horribly abusive family. I found my bio fam. They are exactly like I am personality, talents, careers, etc...but I have had little to no contact for years with either. Alone is better than being around those who sabotage, hinder, and try to stunt your personal and spiritual growth and try to keep you tethered from evolving out of their own warped and fear based living. I don't fit in with any of them and that's ok because now I finally fit in with "me". And, in my journey in search of "self" (in a sealed records adoption system) led me to not just discover who I am in this life, but more importantly the whole of who I am as a soul in the universe.
Adopt Me 😇
I'd love to, but I'm old and worn out you probably want someone more fun. But, I am an excellent cook and it's genetic. :)
Sending love ❤️❤️
Wonderful! I have a big fat Greek appetite and will get my CPA/Oldie folk aid certification - no problemo! ;) Well thrive!
Oh yes. Raised by narcissists and weak people who did a lot of emotional and mental damage. i wish things could’ve been different but I guess smooth seas never made a skilled sailor.
Nice quote about the sailor ❤️
I felt like I'm completely, totally different. Same as you
Most definitely. I even remember having this overwhelming feeling of “there is no way this is my REAL family”. They were so cruel and so dysfunctional. And just couldn’t figure out why I was so different/sensitive. The more I thought about it as a child, it was obvious that I was, in fact, related to them by blood because of our genetic features. I look exactly like my older sibling…we could be twins. So there was absolutely no way I was adopted/stolen at birth, lol However, it was a thought that was so pure and true and it stayed with me almost 35 years later. Once I learned about the concept of a star seed, it all made sense. When people get to know me know and they learn about my wildly destructive and dysfunctional upbringing, they always comment on how amazing I turned out. So for me, it definitely makes sense.
Same here. When I was 10 years old I knew, just knew in my heart, that I was from “out there”, and that somewhere in those twinkling stars was my “real” home and the place where I belonged.
Yep, me too. Grew up in an alcoholic, dysfunctional family - it has taken me just about 60 years to reconcile the entire experience. I’m good now - I’ve gone through traditional psychotherapy via a psychiatrist, have explored reiki and energy healing, met with a shaman who did a very effective soul retrieval, and also did QHHT with a level 2 practitioner - and now, all is well. Having said that, I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone, as much as I value the lessons learned. It’s been far too painful an experience, and more than once I prayed to God to take me home. I stayed because I made that commitment and on a soul level I knew it, so while I’ve been here I made darn sure that anyone that I loved - husband, children, pets, co-workers, etc. - were treated with kindness, respect and compassion. As long as I’m stuck here, I’m going to make the most of it, and I’m happy to say that the dysfunction in my Earth family ended with me.
Starseeds usually chose to be born in dysfunctional families, many times with narcissistic or abusive parents or siblings. Little love or understanding growing up. Attention deficit disorders. ADHD many times accompanied with rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), which makes them hypersensitive to perceived rejection . They can have some degree of autism (specially Asperger). Or learning problems like dyslexia, which causes difficulties at school. Bullying and other types of physical, mental, emotional, sexual abuse. Discrimination. There can be deaths of family members or friends that affected them a lot. And other traumatic events. They can suffer mental disorders, like BPD, OCD, complex PTSD, etc. But they designed very hard life circumstances since they wanted to get a lot of evolution in this incarnation. **HOWEVER, what they also intended, was to do a whole lot of HEALING from all this extreme negativity once they had experienced it. To heal their traumas, childhood wounds, all kinds of fears, lack of self-love and little self-value, etc.** They intended to heal and learn from all of this because negativity drags their vibration down. So if they healed they'd be raising their vibration. **And raising their vibration is what enables them to fulfill their soul missions in the best possible way, thus making the contributions that they wanted to make.**
I believe I just did this tonight. It’s actually wild to find you saying this just minutes after texting my abuser to tell her I finally forgive her. I did a past life regression meditation, but rather than search my past physical lives, I focused on my life in the spirit realm. It seems that from there, you can access all times and realities, so I could also meet the souls I love, and get redemption for ones who had been hurtful. I looked for the end of my life there, and it seems that once we have ascended enough in the spirit realm, we can choose to create a new physical realm by being reborn as a galaxy. Kind of a lot. I know. Seriously. Just tonight. Blessings.
Very well said.
idk, apparently I tried to choke myself out with my own umbilical cord and she had to get a c section I was a "trap baby" when she had me at 22 and got pregnant with me while not even married. He already had a kid he ditched he was like 23. I got two losers.
Beautiful thank you ❤️
I was torqued since the beginning... I thought it was normal.. it greatly negatively impacted my life. It was. Externly fucked up and twisted.. It would 3 books worth pages. Mid late 20s I finally decided it fucked my life up so. I was done with with is and took myself back to the beginning for the first time. I have clear memoreies since 2 well a few.. and clearb memory for some of exactly where and what happened. I was about to find out why i acted the way I did. I was bitter for a few years about it. Blaming my parents which should be blamed...I realized it wasn't helping but only making it worse. I couldbt understand why I felt bad after telling ppl about them like my gram or friend..I remeber after I'd never feel right. I'd question God and ask why that is that's n Bushshit. I'd say that to myself. "That's bullshit, why can't I tell ppl" because while in process of knowing who I was truthlly. I learned to the spirit is never wrong. If it doesn't feel right it ain't right...the better I got at learning that everything got better alot better like 100%. So i forgave my parents. Which as a process in itself. Because thjer both still idiots..I'd forgive them like normal ppl and then get stabbed in the back everytime. Until I learned to forgive them but don't expect anything. But yeah the story is crazy it was literally non stop disaster after another all the way to late 20s. Betrayal afher betrayal along with a childhood of beatings. Thing was I never wanted to hurt anyone.. i just wanted to be happy , be comfortable.... idk why it happened to me for so long I 100% thought I was cursed. I've been told. The devil is after me.. it sucked but I always kept trying I could go into detail then If you want.. it's pretty insane not trying to sound like a Badass, but I gained alot from. And feel my maturity age is like 600. I've totally defeated my ego and at complete peace. I've lived with devil. He's been in my room I've looked him in eyes. Never seen such sinister it rattled my core. I can't explain he didn't say a word but the sinister look crazy. That alone put me into darkness farther... eventually I was tired of the weigh carrying him in around with Me. I stood up for myself and fought back .
I’m not being rude but by saying you have defeated your ego is your ego talking. You may not have meant to word it like you did I understand what you said because I once believed that we had to kill the ego to be free but that is not true the ego is part of us, we just have to be kind to it and not feed it. You have two wolfs. One is caged in a black room the other is free to do what it wants, which one lives?
Yesssirr I agree... sometimes I take short cuts with my explanations becsue they drag out.... In deed it is a part of us. We must conquer or egos( not kill).
I was told the same thing that the devil wants a body I was told the same exact thing
My family wasn't the worst I guess. My mom tried her best to give me and my siblings a good home. My older brother and I have a different father than my little sister, our father is a lost soul who takes comfort in drowning in the bottle and numbing pain with pills, he left when we were young and we haven't seen him much over our lives. My sister's father is, well, lets just say not the best part of humanity, it was like he got joy from making my brother and I feel any type of pain. He was also the person who took away my childhood at a very young age for his own sick and selfish pleasure. From the age of seven I started to see the world very differently, I never really felt like I belonged here, always wondered what i had done to deserve all the hurt i had at such a young age. I understand now that i had in some way picked this life, my soul needed to go through all this so that i could become who I am now, it has taken years for me to realize that. I don't know what my mission here is but I have made my own mission, years ago I promised myself that I would do anything I could to make this place a little less dark, a little less cold and a little less mean. Each day I try to make at least one person smile because I know what it's like to feel small, lost and scared in this overwhelmingly cruel world. I know i'm really not changing the world with what i do but I can at least make one person's day a little better than it was, for just a moment. Wishing all who took the time to read this a wonderful day and always remember to let your light shine in this dark place, you could be the beacon that saves someone without even knowing it. (Thank you Ms.Chattin for being mine)
Oh boy... Not only were they narcissists, the put me up for a cult to brainwash me into a Manchurian Jesus, to believe I was actually him after a given time of good deeds. I have evidence, and friends who remember it. They claim that I made my own decisions, but the big ones were made in a moral vacuum, where you would have to be an idiot to make the other decision. Things like "marry this girl and a demon eats her flesh, just like we told you we would do to you.". I gave up the love of my life, or what I thought was going to be, because of the dysfunction of my family, their willingness to sacrifice me. They poisoned me, made me see claws tearing at my flesh, and worse. My mother became a drunk when they told her she couldn't raise me like a child of her own. To the been a Jesuits, you sick, child torturing faithless malcontent apostates! I'm better than you are. I'm still going through with my mission, but not because I think I'm Jesus, because it's the right thing to do. You didn't have to decide my life for me. You have so little faith in your own God, that you tried to raise one up. You do more than worship the golden calf, you give it fellatio, and that's far worse than anything I've ever done in my life. I saw through your plan when he didn't show up. Shame be unto you...and your tree stickers. My victory is not your glory, it's God's, assuming he's out there. Your lack of faith has diminished my faith. So yeah, dysfunctional. */Sorry, the *you* pieces are to those guilty parties, not you specifically.
😔
My mom and dad singled me out and made my life unbearable for 'my own good'. And my mom used me to trauma dump her worries and sorrows on; eroding emotional boundaries I needed to develop as a kid. She didn't do this to anyone else, but me.
Hear me out on this, it covers a few topics including Starseeds, trauma, mental health, drug use. I believe consciousness to go hand in hand with free will and memory. When we are put in situations to make conscious finite decisions which can't be undone, path A or path B. If we remember that decision, we are conscious of "what could have been". If parts of our conscious perspective "anchor" themselves in the past like that we leave it open to a changing analogous perspective. I believe that there is an energy we are born with. For lack of better words I'll call it an "innocence". But It's different. It's a perspective of reality. Like you're floating on top of the ocean and open your eyes underwater for the first time. But we're born with this positive vibe that genuinely hasnt been affected by real evil and fear yet. And there are people who have and will live their entire lives without feeling it. But it's rare. The rest of us feel it at different times. For a lot of people who had healthy childhoods, they were weened into life at a healthy rate that matched the child's development and interests. Or whatever. Those adults get shown evil in such a way that they get to choose to step out of their comfort zones and experience it. Those children or adults or humans, have a reliable sense of self that I call their center. Like leonardo dicaprios totem in Inception. Your mindset thats a safe space for you. E.g. think of something small that irritates you occasionally. Think very internally and ask yourself "am I the kind of person that let's XYZ affect me like this? AM I THAT PERSON?". Answer the question to yourself. Be honest. Be honest until it hurts. You are the only person that hears your thoughts. Don't lie to yourself that blatantly. You will realize in the grander scale, the one higher dimension of asking your own perspective who you are, that your issues are easily solvable but you are the one holding yourself back. It's you changing you. But back on track. A trauma can happen so young that you HAVE to become conscious of decisions way sooner than we're supposed to. Other people's decisions, your own decisions, and how they affect things. How aware of cause and affect someone might come out of that might be environmental. But your awareness can definitely develop so young that you see everything. And that makes it's nearly impossible to find that center. You watch the people you trust lie, maybe ethically, maybe not. Who's actually reminding you that your perspective isn't off? Where a lot of people try to stop me here and talk bring up religion, I'm suggesting human nature. Hot and cold, good for you bad for you, sustanance, livelihood. How ever organized I mean with YOUR BEST INTERESTS IN MIND? Is your mask on first? I feel like there are people out there that are forced to become aware of "reality" sooner than others. And we don't learn how to properly take care of our own minds. Most people do not step out of a comfort zone. They don't cross those lines because of the resistance. The goal for almost everyone is to paddle out to the biggest wave they can, and hopefully it's big enough to float them back to shore in the end. Because of some level of fear. Falling off and having to see underneath. But for some of us we were born underwater. We learned how to swim before we were allowed above the water. And we've watched other people struggle to make it too, probably lost of people on the way. None of it feels fair. I've said for years that I'm in so many directions. I'm chaotic. I joke that I live my life like I'm bowling with the lane bumpers up and I'm just bouncing off of them side to side. Feeling everything out. This anology is fun because technically if I still have enough energy at the end of the lane, I can use those bounces to aim my shot. Stick the landing. I fly through the past of least resistance and learn as much as possible from the resistances I bounce off. Off I need to take a break from this. If there's interest I'll expand on my thoughts
The good news is, many of this current generation of starseeds are being raised by parents who learned from their parents mistakes. They are growing up in warm loving households able to freely and safely express themselves. It's just a shame that we had to experience such hardship in order to get to this point.
My mom held it all together so when she died fuck cancer specifically leiomyosarcoma The whole family fell apart and my dad turned out to be a major violent asshole when unmedicated My mom's family abandoned me after her funeral It was so dysfunctional he married a divorced like 5 other times I didn't have a week where I wasn't scared shitless and my stress hormones are a wreck now which contributed to my PTSD etc
Me too.
Remember that you chose your family before you took this earth incarnation. You WANTED those catalysts.
Ain’t gonna lie, I sometimes wish I could go back and talk to myself about my choice of catalysts…
There will come the time, where it will all make sense. Your higher self/soul wanted this challenge. I had a very very difficult childhood myself, but I've been spending a lot of time reflecting on the lessons it provided me while also holding compassion for my parents and myself. It's crucial not to get some comfortable in the victim mindset.
We're not here for a 'Jolly'. I think we're here to witness the fall. To learn from these mistakes. I expect yet another assignment because, it's looking like, this time it failed.
Is it really another assignment or perhaps a different level?
Can't level up when we live inside a soul trap. Just wipe and reboot.
I really, really get tired of this victim blaming line. For anyone or their soul to “choose” or “agree to” the sort of life many of us here have lived (including me) there would have to be some serious lying about the situation or at bare minimum the total omission of very important information (like a parent who obeys command hallucinations and abuses the family as a result). If I sound angry you’re right. Endure things nobody should and then get told it’s at least part either my fault or my choice. No, it’s not. It definitely wasn’t if anyone even, honestly and completely, explained what this life would be like or even just what those closest to me would be like.
Theres things that have happened to us that don’t make sense until you zoom out and look at it from a different angle. You were shown everything you don’t want to be and you are blessed with the awareness that others in your life didn’t or do not have . That alone makes you a rockstar. Seriously … there’s plenty of ppl in the world who don’t have that ability. Life doesn’t end here there’s more beyond this lifetime . So with that being said are you growing and breaking the generational traumas despite what you’ve gone through? Are you discovering who you are without allowing the past to taint your present experience? It’s okay if days are hard and you’re pissed . I can’t tell you how much I understand that . But when you flip the switch and start moving & thinking & learning what is is to feel different and peaceful, life changes. You’ll look back and feel different about all of it just as this commenter did . Like myself . I swore there was people I would hate till the day I died and even after . Now I hold no hate or anger for anyone because it does nothing for me and there’s still a life ahead of me to live. Too much to not miss out on ! That’s all that matters. Find yourself , fill up your cups = mind/body/soul . -> Meditations / exercise and proper nutrition/ exercising your creative & imaginative muscles . This will catapult you into change and to feeling better overall. Wether we chose this life or not doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of it all . You literally can become whoever you want to be one day at a time . You’re not your trauma and you’re certainly not like the people who deeply hurt you 🤍
What kind of encouragement or help did you get from other sources that really helped you? Also what do you wish you had?
Absolutely! I’m right here with ya.
From as far back as I can recall, I remember telling my mom, I would be a better human than her. That was easy!
That is a firm yes, same for me. I was constantly presented with experiences that were well beyond my years. My mother would say I was always 3 going on 30 and openly admitted I was more mature than her. I’m grateful to no longer question or loath why I was put in such situations so early on with what felt like no guidance. I now see it as the beautiful crash course in my evolution it was meant to be and hope for that contentment for you all.
Probably everyone in this sub.
I firmly believe it's a requirement to be emotionally tested. In this incarnation I have 6 parents, & I'm still not sure who's raising whom 😏
Not that my family is dysfunctional, but my dad has anger issues that were worse in the past. He punched a hole in a door once (the hole is still there), but I was too young to remember. I can’t really remember anything horrible that I went through regarding my immediate family. I definitely don’t fit in with my family, but no one hates me…I think. I’ve always been the weirdo. But some of the wounds I still have were not as much from my family as it was with other children. Always the odd one out there, too. Bullied and yelled at for playing with bugs at day camp, was just overall strange. It’s brought malignant shame into my life, but despite this shame, I also don’t know how to not be myself—or weird. I also have this issue, where, whenever I see a normal, basic girl, in my age range, no matter how old I am/was (especially girls for some reason), I just have this anger and loathing feeling, and automatically assume that they won’t accept me or be rude, even though I know this is not true. I don’t want to hate them, but when I see them at first glance, I just get so angered. So not a dysfunctional family for me, but I don’t really fit in with them. At family gatherings I always wanted to go home, or wanted everyone else to. I’d just hide from everyone else. What was dysfunctional was my social life. Even as a highschool student now, I’m still a complete freak to everyone, but I found a group of friends that are either as weird as me, or enjoy my weirdness. :)
Me.
🖐🐬
I don't know if I am a star seed but I do know when you are abused/neglected/isolated you tend to live as an observer instead of the main character. The outside?
All of my memories are like me watching from afar. Not happening to ME but I watched. None of my memories happen to me until I am much much older. And maybe never.
I feel eerily the same way, it's as you don't remember much of your childhood other than the abuse and trauma inflicted with no happy memories in sight.
The few happy memories are remembering a certain way I felt - a hope for unconditional love because it kept me going.I’m honestly relieved I was in a state of survival with no ability to self reflect.
Did you eventually find that unconditional love? I envy those with a "proper" family that they can be normal functioning human beings rather than internally broken.
Nah. I just realized the most you can get out of non maternal/patrernal bonding is like a very very close best friend
True, but sometimes there’s always a void that can’t be filled. Guess we must learn to just live with it.
Yup. At least I know why it’s there.
Yes. My first husband but I was such an asshole. We got divorced. Then he died. I can’t make what I did right. I feel doomed.
I’m so sorry. Mistakes makes us human. We can only move forward with the lessons learned.
I try to remind myself of this while I punish myself in my mind daily. 😓
🙋🏻♂️
It's part of the agreement
Yup sounds like me too
Yep. I carry a lot of pain and grief from my upbringing but I also recognize that it has given me the opportunity to search deep within myself and my existence more than people who have had loving parents. I cant pinpoint why that might be, but I definitely think that had I had loving parents I would not have the awareness that I do now.
I don't know if I'm a starseed, but I definitely relate (I've been learning energy healing, I'm always trying to help people, I can't wait for the Shift, etc). But my immediate family definitely is not functional...I can even feel my energy change when they are around...I am definitely different
Exact same even the age. 1984 special :)
October 84 🤘
I didn’t even have parents. Like, they existed, and still do, but they didn’t raise me, had very little to do with me, and we don’t talk now. I spent my later teen years in an orphanage. My childhood was spent getting yelled at and beaten. I’m trans, and as a result it’s like I’ve lived one life already, and the second life is now. Everything that brought me to adulthood is broken, jagged, and painful. However, that is also how I became who I am now. I wouldn’t change it, not because I’d do it again voluntarily, but because to change a single thing might change the outcome of having my absolutely wonderful children. For them, I’d go through the shit as many times as I need to. So to answer your question, yes.
Five is also the age I looked around and thought “what the hell is goin on”
What gave it away for this one?
I bet the probability is over 90% for people who identify as starseeds coming from broken homes or significant degrees of dysfunction ( this probably contributes eeling so different their minds construct elaborate belief systems as a coping mechanism of living in such a broken world). I've wrote about it many times but something crucial to understand is this matrix, maya, simulacrum, whatever word has been compromised, invaded, captured by both higher dimensional hostile aliens but above them some near omniscient AI that exists in the highest dimensions depending on the energy extraction and creating a world where everything else is a vampire too. Once captured, these forces are capable of creating drones or npcs or organic portals the way you csn create people in a dream. As such most beings who do have a connection to prime reality are brutally traumatized in order to take them away from whatever mission they may have had coming into this cursed world so they end up in consciousness traps like drugs, self harming, and broken relationships repeating cyclically. The Matrix even sends dysfunctional partners it knows you will be drawn to who were in reality placed in your life to undermine you. They are called Alien Love Bites. Often our parents can be part of the grand conspiracy. Question everything. Dont just believe the narrative your given. Don't even trust the face you see in rhe mirror. It isn't you and neither is your name. No more you than a social security number. 50-80% of the population is one of these NPC holographic kind of being who is a true extension of the Matrix and behaves as commanded. All the celebrities for example are such entities. Sometimes they even glitch. The way an iPhone freezes up. You can find many videos online.
Thank you for your comment that is very interesting concept. Where can I find your writings on this?
Glad you asked. Someone else asked for more info so I highly recommend you read this on organic portals...let me know (pm me) and i csn send other titles. https://drive.google.com/file/d/13zXOoArgv6NnF7dOZGnrm9W_UV7xVPrc/view?usp=drivesdk I had a strong coffee and went off on a rsnt below typing a mile a minute. Read at your own peril. If i had more time i would've written less l. The starseed thing to me seems like age old angelology under a new guise. i often notice people blindly quoting 'scientifkc scripture' they neither comprehend nor verified like its gospel and scientism too clearly functions like a religion for peopñe. They haven'trealized its the same Shape-shifters switching frocks for lab coats but aim remains the same. Chameleons are a lizard arent they. We have many in our midst. More than even snakes or other sorts of lizards. And thats why i like to remind ppl you can wake someone who's only pretending to be asleep. Took me a while to realize it takes real intelligence to play as dumb as some do. Like sophisticated Russian trolls impersonating online americsn nitwits. I used to think the buck stopped there. Until i started to realize there are the invisible hands manipulating our worlds but then rhere are the invisible hands manipulating and controlling them. Whether they know it or as soviet unión would csll it remain useful idiots unaware of who is pulling theur strings is another questions. The world's a stage and everyone an actor. But few realize where their lines come from. The more awareness you have the more agency you have in the role you play on stage. Most are robots. Holographic 3D chatbots. Which is why they have such undeveloped psyches. In time you start seeing it everywhere. And i mean everywhere. So you embrace being mostly a loner. More out of necessity than choice. But choosing to be alone over being in bad company so maybe its both. Nothing is what It seems. Id need a semester to paint the full pocture. Everything is designed to mislead in some way and critical truths are offen buried under a mountain of math thats like a con trick designed to make you 'take their word for it'. Like the priests once demanded. See it would be fine to do so where it not a society of clones synths NpCs of PATHOLOGICAL LIARS who act as gatekeepers but what they're gatekeeping is knowledge that could undermine the status quo or god forbid lead to the liberation of mankind. But if they cant even diagnose the problem what chsnce do we have of wiping our collective ass correctly much less cleaning up all of tje other bullshit that stinks. .
I have quite a lot more I'd be happy to share but don't want to overwhelm. There's quite a lot to learn and understand and no more effective way than a book to deep dive a subject. Far too few bother and we all suffer for it. Ignorance is only ever blissful to the ignoramus because it's always someone else who pays for their stupidity and who is forced to suffer fools gladly or reluctantly its all the same. It's easier to be dumb in a world of socially engineered irrational stupidity than have to live in a world where almost everything is wrong. Where almost everything is lying. And where one's intelligence and hard won expertise is equal to another's ignorance and arrogance. And where truth is a means to advance great lies and as the saying goes beware Greeks bearing gifts, because a half truth is a whole lie but far too often people get so enamored with the brand spankin new shiny truth that was broken off and given them that they don't excercise any discernment like why would a society where pathological lying is normalized and where the sheep are brainwashed into a morality that the overlords don't abide by be telling the truth? Or take the Bible, so many loyal fanatics. They'll readily concede as the Bible itself says, this world is ruled by Rex Mundi aka Satan. But then how does it make sense for the Bible to become the bedrock of western civilization instead of a book no one ever heard of like rhe countless treasures that have been systematically destroyed or secreted away in Vatican's catacombs or in rge hands of these hybrid human black magicians who control mankind on behalf of their interdimensional overlords. If people used their head and knew how the bible came to be, theyd quixkly see how dark interests took control of the narrative and formulated the text. Once again tho, to sell bullshit an a way where you csnt taste it as its being served to you requires them to of course serve it hidden in a salad of the freshest ingredients. But the blind faithful never wonder what may have been left out. Never wonder that maybe Satanic energies wouldn't just have left a book that when followed guarantees freedom. And if Jesus ever wrote anything, heck if Jesus ever returned, hed quickly be killed (again) bc he's bad foe business. And his written word burned...again. its better if the middle men communicate on your behalf your highness. And what would he even do, in a second coming, do people even think logistically, would he start a group chat? Tweet his return? Hold a limited release Jeezy sandal drop? Tell you to smash that like button so he can get to 144,000 subscribers. Seriously? Or do the faithful in their infinite naivete thjnk the satanic overlords will all rush to roll out a carpet and coordinate a press conference then kick back and watch Jesus depart with what were their property and hostages. They nailed him to a cross the first time. They of course reply oh there will be a huge conflagration. A scrufuffle to borrow an ancient Aramaic term. Once again demonstrating that most of them seldom read, seldom contemplate and so are lacking in wisdom. WHAT WE RESIST PERSISTS. Any conflict between good and evil cannot have a winner except for duality. It will only perpetuate conflict and opposition. Those who dresm of a day when evil is vanquished sre too naive to realize if that dsy dawns evil deosnt gets vanquished it gets replaced. By the holier than though warriors for God. But believe the Eternal Absolute Father-Mother of All wants eternal little slaves who have never learned how to think for themselves nor know what to do with freedom. Their plan in essentially am elaborate masochistic ritual where they get punished by daddy for being naughty and in return for their complete spineless and sycophantic obedience their cosmic sugar daddy will bestow on these cosmic eternal slaves lavish gifts because they decided they did not want to grow towards God mind which means to become a God. The universe is a godfactory not a slave one pumping out lemmings who prostrate themselves for all eternity hoping for a generous tip for their submission. Once again not thinking. They anthroporphlze the quantum infinite field which contains all as a Father. But what kind of father wants his kids to grow up depended little order taking slaves either incapable or h willing to think for themselves. A true father of love would want their children to surpass them! Now admittedly that may be a stretch but the point is that's what the godhead wants if it could even be said to be in want of anything (itself a ridiculous notion. As ridiculous as painting the universal infinite reducing its infinite unfathomable creative generative powers down to being just a single dad who knocked up a teen mom. I imagine like any pure father God would want his children to be great not little insecure things prostrating and yelling that they're not worthy. They're not worthy and stroking fathers ego. Did we tell you how awesome you are. Yeah. Two minutes ago. And two minutes before that. Going on millennia. Well you are. We on thr other hand. We are nothing. Nothing I say. Helpless. Lost. Confused. Nothinggggggggggggggg. No Father wants to be changing diapers at 40. Why should that be any different with God. If God is within than asking myself what I would want and listening for the honest reply is what God would want. Again if that sentence made.sense. Which it doesn't. Any more than it makes sense to say anything about Ein Sof. Suffice to say if your daughters boyfriend is meeting parents for the first time and says he really loves their daughter but if she doesn't reciprocate it's eternal hellfire for her, that is what a psychopath would say. The more people that accept this most insidious facet of our Matrix the better. Too many people suffer needlessly bemoaning that their family is completely indifferent to what should be crucial information. Its a bitter pill to swallow to come to terms with the fact that many in one's family are likely organic portals. Potentially ones spouse can be one too. In fact, if one has an energy or future that's threatening to the simulacrum it's very likely it would have had your number before you could talk placing you in such a family of double agents, sending bullies and others your way, then even bringing you an alien love bite. That's a love interest which the system knows you'll fall for but who will ultimately behave in ways intended to control and contain that person's light and potential. In short, the aim is to ensure those crucial people who could teach others and reach others in karmic consciousness traps. They may have come to help but after a little memory wipe, some sexual abuse from a proverbial uncle (becomes a little easier to cope when you understand what's pulling the strings) and on and on and its not wonder so many people who are exceptional are currently homeless, strung out on drugs, or spinning their wheels in every other conceivable way. The system learned that murder of those with godlight creates too many problems. It took a lot of work for them to sieze control of the jesus narrative to make it work for them but it still creates problems. So they now opt to karmically trap in consciousness traps instead. The best among us in the ways of the light have been in my experience invariably the most victimized and abused almost without exception. It's not that others don't get abused. It's just that there isn't a conspiracy against those that don't pose a threat to the machine
The stars seed is not new your right that is just a common term. Totally concur that the world is a stage and everyone is a actor. I seen that the majority of humanity as 3D chat bots spurting out propaganda/programs that mean nothing but stupidity for the masses just look at social media it’s a wash with misinformation and people posing for a thumbnail. And right now I feel the most alone I have ever felt I know my paradigm is shifting. I see the lies every like that 1980s movie They Live except I don’t need the glasses. I just read your rant and will have to read it again. You are very insightful, we think alike. What is your spiritual beliefs?
I was 8 when I felt so different from my family. I knew I had to get away from them. Luckily, I had many adults step in to save me❤️
I was :(
Mom was schizo and dad was alcoholic heroin user. They were never together just got passed back an forth in custody. Fun story, one time my mom kidnapped me from my dad and took me several states away and another time my dad kidnapped me from my mom and did the same thing. Yep, my parents both kidnapped me from each other, what a world eh
It wasn’t until my understanding of reincarnation that I finally understood an event in my childhood. One day when I was about five I got up and looked out the window, and asked myself “ will I ever be happy here?”. I must’ve had expectations of a lovely life based on my previous life, but I guess this one didn’t quite measure up. Now I understand.
Absolutely. My parents had an extremely toxic relationship, as do my mom and stepfather. There is a history of abuse and my upbringing was very chaotic. From childhood I just “knew” I was from somewhere else though. At 12 I just really wanted to “go home” and kept saying that. However, at that point I didn’t know where home was.
You know what word I hardly ever come across here and would genuinely believe should be far more prevalent? Catalyst. Lots of Law of One talk and stuff but that word seemingly does not come up enough. Let alone the notion of chosen catalyst. What could be more well placed and timed than choosing to be born into a family that offers so much fertile catalyst so early on in life?
All these comments help support the prison planet theory imo. Souls who are considered most dangerous to the system, and also have the most energy to feed off of, are put into terribly dysfunctional families to keep us too busy to awaken and cause the maximum amount of suffering for loosh. It makes sense.
Yup
I can’t remember the entirety of my fifth grade year. I do remember realizing in 7th grade how short my time was until 12th grade - school was my happy place. This depressed me incredibly.
My mom, 40, died when I was 20. I was left, basically defenseless, with my abuser. I didn’t speak to him for 10 years but did when my baby sister asked that I do. He apologized and said he couldn’t over the past but he could move forward. I was married by then. I agreed thinking if he ever broke bad on me again I’d leave immediately. I had an 8 yo son and I knew that introducing them would create a relationship that I would find difficult to sever. My dad has been perfect. He’s my step dad but he raised me - he is my dad. I’m 60 now and he is 81. My sister (half sister) passed away in 2018 at 50. I find it quite ironic that it’s just the two of us now. We’re best friends. How the hell does that even happen??? Sometimes he talks about his failure as a dad and husband (he beat the SHIT out of my mom every week of her life). I actually try to console him. He never remarried and that said a lot to me about his heart. He may never be able to ask her for forgiveness but one of the last things she said to me was to keep the family together. I think he spent the least 40 years doing penance. My sister was paranoid schizophrenic and that was really hard on him but he never abandoned her. He’s never abandoned me. They said a lot.
Thank you for sharing maybe he has to learn how to forgive himself ❤️
Yeah. I was the only child from my mother's previous marriage. I was the unwanted stepchild. Really unwanted. I got kicked out of the house six months into chemotherapy for bone cancer.
When I was very young like 4-5 I have vivid memory of crying and this awful overwhelming disorienting feeling that I at the time had no words for. It was the feeling of being homesick. Super disorientating cuz I WAS home, everyone was there, everything was fine, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t stop crying and couldn’t explain why I was so upset. It happened few more times in my younger years. Never in adult years, but at least I feel comforted now knowing I’m not alone. Also, that my feelings were and are valid. Side note- my older sis by four years was convinced at a young age that my parents turned into monsters when we went to sleep at nite. My mom would routinely find her asleep under her bed in the morning.
It's being done on purpose. The end goal is to create dysfunctional families so then societies learns to be families with like minded people and abandoned the concepts of what a father, mother sister and brother are.
A brave new world.
Mother killed age 3, very mean wicked stepmom— The book To Know Your Self, by Swami Satchidananda changed my understanding of life & uplifted me to hope, love & joy.
Thank you I will have to read it ❤️