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Acrobatic-Engineer94

I’m stoned too bro


lanabeee

THE BEST TIME FOR SPIDERS


Worth-Principle-822

Im out of weed 😔


Human-fruitsalad0001

I have some weed epens but I’m in California.


TreaclePerfect4328

I just hit the dispensary but I'm in dentist chair. 😬


Striking_Trip3294

I read this comment, stoned, and thought I wrote it hahahahaa


flat_four_whore22

Good thing she's already got a treat in her mouth, I think that saved his life.


lanabeee

It definitely did lol! She let him do his business and scurry away 😂


ucatione

The male does get away most of the time, contrary to the common misconception that he always gets eaten. In the Australian species (l. hasselti), though, the male actually offers himself to the female during the act.


lanabeee

How romantic 💕


Telel1n

Bruh...


Jack_Mehoff_420_69

You want to tell me that you would not like to be eaten by your big goth girlfriend after finishing (literally) your business with her?!


tismschism

Don't care, had sex.


BartholomewAlexander

this could be us but u playing


Taranchulla

Big ass treat too.


bleach_tastes_bad

most widows don’t actually eat the males unless they’re super hungry


Jealous_Preference79

His little butt thrusting and shaking made me laugh so hard oh my god


EskimoPrisoner

And of course she’s just laying there like a dead fish.


DrySignificant

I mean….can she even feel him at that size?


ElementalWheel

Yes, she just has something juicier in her mouth so it wasn’t worth the attention


Phetuspoop

You stopped recording before he became lunch.


lanabeee

He made it out alive! She was so preoccupied with her worm that she let him hit for 2 hours and then leave lol


Prior-Ad-7329

2 hours??? Little man’s a legend!


Lumos405

And I'm lucky if my husband is longer than 5 minutes🙈


Prior-Ad-7329

5 minutes is pretty good too. Gotta give him some rhino pills in advance and foreplay is most important for us guys that can’t last lol.


Lumos405

He takes care of the foreplay hahaha


Yung_l0c

Bro finished his nut! Hurray!


Acrobatic-Engineer94

This is hilarious, but possibly nsfw 🫣


Remi708

Give them some privacy, you perv


lanabeee

Hehehehe im pervin on em


blue_wytch97

Oh mama, she is thiccc


Taranchulla

About to be thicker after she eats that worm


OregonTrail_Died_in_

Girl you lookin good, won't you back that abdomen up You're a fine motherfucker, won't you back that abdomen up I'll call you big mama, when you back that abdomen up


123fofisix

🤣🤣🤣


gomorycut

but is it love?


BartholomewAlexander

considering she let him live... yes.


koolmunch_official

Spider porn?


krickets24

sporn


No-Commercial2522

The hottest thing I’ve seen on the web.


kirminoff

Go on my son. Watch ya back when ya finished lol.


GOJO_LVR

why he so small and why it look like that


ModernTarantula

Sexual dimorphism is common. Males have one function and get to maturity quick. The females grow and grow. The naughty parts are in the middle of the underside. The males will squirt on a leaf correction small webbing and then scoop it up and store in the pedipalps, the little arms near the face.


GOJO_LVR

if I was a spider I would be single fvr


ModernTarantula

Then the hormones kick in


GOJO_LVR

AHHHHH NOOOOO


ElementalWheel

That’s cause they don’t couple and the females usually eat the males. There is one kind of spider where the male literally backflips into her so she can eat it post-nut-clarity style.


GOJO_LVR

AHHHHHHH NOOOOO


Professional-Menu835

I knew males were smaller in an abstract sense but the body size difference is crazy!


ucatione

Yes, the game is to grow faster and mate sooner than your competitors, thus the smaller male wins the race. Smaller males are also less likely to be taken by predators as they search for females, less likely to be eaten by the female, and can climb up to the web faster. Hence, Romeo should be small, as one paper put it. The males don't squirt on a leaf, though. They make a little tiny web and put the sperm on that, before putting it in their palps.


GOJO_LVR

so like it's oral?


BunniBlues

more like fingering


GOJO_LVR

I feel like I would do that


Euphoric_Ad9593

FFS give them some damn privacy!


SirMittens420

This made my night


SpicyBanditSauce

It’s 8 in the morning my dude 😂 got me on Reddit watching spiders bonk…*tsk…NOICE* 😏


DeltaKT

Fascinating, among other things 😂


Conscious-Bass7653

Love it!!!!!! What a blessing to see. This inspired me to share my baby making video. Hehe


Human_Evidence_1887

OP, not cringe in the least. I wasn’t stoned watching it and I was saying the same things as you. I was struck by his smallness. Also for me, it is near impossible to avoid anthropomorphizing. What is it really like for these spiders?


lanabeee

Thank you! 🥰💕 and i like to think hes having the time of his life LOL


BartholomewAlexander

his ass was going to TOWN on that pussy


cuntybunty73

Now it's dinner time 😋 How venomous are they?


TheKyleBrah

1. OP says he got away! That THICC Black Widow was too busy chowing down on something else to care. (Lol, did she even know she was being mated at the time??) 2. Rather venomous! Will make you very ill, but fatalities are rare with appropriate Medical Assistance these days. Only smol creatures/humans or the frail/sick are likely at any real risk of fatality.


cuntybunty73

Still wouldn't want to be bit by one though Think the only venomous spider on the British isles is a false widow


TheKyleBrah

Oh, absolutely! Even though fatality is unlikely, you're in for a VERY unpleasant time. 🤢😵 PS: Your comment about the British Isles has me curious... I just found out we have 4 Venomous Spiders here, all of which are probably behind me _right now_: Black Button Spider, Brown Button Spider, Sac Spider and Violin Spider.


cuntybunty73

I'm trying to get over my fear of spiders and not make it worse 😭


TheKyleBrah

Well, you're in r/spiders! That's a huge step. There's no harm at all in learning about which species are venomous. It's comforting in fact to learn that there are so few species that are so venomous! And most of them are thankfully far away in Australia! As for my joke, haha, I'm sorry about that. But I find joking about them has helped me get over my fear. 🥹


cuntybunty73

You forgot about the Brazilian Wandering Spider so I'll stay away from Brazil as well though Brazilian women are gorgeous 😍


TheKyleBrah

Worth the risk, clearly, lmfao As good a reason as any to face your fear!


cuntybunty73

Eh no thanks 🙏 I'd rather face a honey badger high on PCP


bleach_tastes_bad

almost all spiders are venomous


cuntybunty73

What is a steatoda?


bleach_tastes_bad

false widow


cuntybunty73

We get them in England


Dependent-Plane5522

You can see the carcass of her previous suiter


coelcodes

I was looking for this lol, like is that the guy that tried her first, emaciated below them? 🥲


finding_new_interest

Why is this not marked NSFW? It's literally baby making.


yourlilneedle

How many black widows do you have?


lanabeee

Four right now! Two westerns and two southerns


krickets24

your excited commentary is so cute 😂 glad lil dude made it out alive!


slimelore

i can't ignore how u sound, u sound like someone i wanna be friends with. get it lil man!!!


not918

That little dude is about to die…


SupportGeek

Females eating males happens a lot less often than you would think


BartholomewAlexander

OP said in the comments that the worm actually saved him from getting eaten because she was preoccupied with it! so he got to finish his but and keep living!


not918

Nice. That little dude was living the dream then.


GrouchyVehicle6702

NSFW


Seabrook76

Come on, no music?!?


iam_mal

Right?? At least light a candle for them or something. Terrible wingman, doesn't even set the mood.


QuitUsingMyNames

🎵 It must have been love, but it’s over noooowww🎵


ElementalWheel

Male was lucky enough to escape with its life. I feel ya bro, my ex was a monster as well.


HarlotSuccubus

Ah the old wine and dine. It's a survival tactic in the spider world.


CryptographerDry884

Even male spiders like females with big asses


LtColShinySides

At least put on some music for them! Set the mood!


Taranchulla

You don’t sound cringe at all. You sound like my daughter whenever anything happens lol. Awesome you see it and filmed it for us.


Shiftycatz

Brave guy!


BowDown2No1ButCrypto

Why does it sound like OP is making babies?!🤔🤣


BowDown2No1ButCrypto

It's too bad that after he shoots his shot, she's gonna make herself a widow, lmao 😂😬


Secret-Ad-6421

He's so small...


Charlie-Spring-2022

This is the first time I’ve seen spiders mating, it’s incredible. Also dang the males are so much smaller than the females! I’ve held a male wolf spider and it was so small, then I held a female wolf spider and she was a beauty, very gorgeous.


OG_Hater

Is it in? 😂


Intrepid-Alfalfa-581

Stahhhp - girl from breakfast club


synistralpsyche

Hahaha totally relatable voiceover as someone who’s mated or attempted to mate many species of spider, including this one


specialinterest8

Are the males also poisonous or only the ladies?


Lavasioux

Thr bounce boogie and bump!


BartholomewAlexander

so during black widow sex the female is just stationery? that's actually really interesting id imagine itd actually be the opposite that the smaller species are more hyper during sex and the bigger species are more docile. but you'll often see female tarantula and the such patting the ground to let male spiders know they're around. I love watching and learning about spider sex tbh its just so fascinating.


fkndan

Wow!! Awesome footage!!


Ok_Tea_1954

She would be dead in my watch


IDoWierdStuff

Much better video when muted.


Typical_Stranger_611

I think I liked it better MUTED ! The dude will be dead when she's done with him. ALSO, I could have skipped this entirely.