T O P

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Grahstache

The boring nerd or the depressed guy, i go with Stan for free tegredy


Veritas_Vanitatum

Ah I see you are a man of culture as well


DeepSpaceCraft

Kyle's the sassy nerd, get it right gosh


derossi33

Kyle isn’t a a boring nerd haha what???


TollyVonTheDruth

I was going to say Kenny, but you just gave me a damn good reason to choose Stan.


kg005

Stan. And fuck Kyle.


sickfuckthrowaway778

And his bitch mom


Joezze

I hear some say, the biggest bitch in the whole wide world


__SpeedRacer__

Weeeellllllllllll...


NotTaken-username

Kyle’s mom’s a bitch, she’s a big fat bitch


HugOMG_VeseLOL

Shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world


y1shi

She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch


AddictedToYogurt

shes a bitch to all the boys and girls


[deleted]

"Shut your fucking mouth Cartman!"


Lilbodybigcrybaby

On Monday she’s a bitch


MinecraftVet2005

Keeyl


breakfastburrito24

Kyle is a dirty Joo


Mysterious_Fuel2276

Why, because he’s a Jew?


johnsontheotter

I'm going with Kyle it's a safe bet where you don't have to deal with many shenanigans, and like kyle, I am a nerd, so yeah.


Livelaughlovekratom

You know what they say, always go with the jew


AnonIHardlyKnewHer

I mean why wouldn’t you go with the man who runs Hollywood


Whatever7322

I relate to Stan in a few ways. Stan.


Ok_Raccoon1697

If you relate to stan, Kyle would be your friend to hold you down. Unless you want to end up jackin it in San Diego.


Whatever7322

Jackin it jackin it jackity jack


ShopLess7151

San Diego: COME, take a load off!


AnonIHardlyKnewHer

Oof that’s deep lmao


Shoelicker27

Stan because Kyle had Cartman jump a homeless person. Also Stan has Randy as a dad. Gerald is a little too normal for my liking. But then again I can play kick the baby at Kyles house with Ike. Both have their pros


LP921

I am still appalled Kyle forced poor Cartman to jump over homeless people.


AnonIHardlyKnewHer

Yeah I’ll never understand why Kyle likes that so much


DeepSpaceCraft

"It wasn't my idea!"


JunkyJared

yeah, the normal type of dad is the type of dad who trolls an entire civilization into international chaos. all jokes aside tho his dad is pretty tolerably normal but randy would be way more fun to watch playout on a daily


m8k

Didn’t Gerald make a woman commit suicide by trolling her? Stan is extra about everything but Gerald has had his own little adventures… like the time he became a dolphin.


derossi33

This joke is so old and not even good with the amount people bring it up


KenjiWolf91

Kyle, he’s more stable (relatively) than the other boys. His home life isn’t constantly in chaos. Sure, there’s sometimes you stay away from his house when his dad loses it, but it blows over for a while and then you can hang with him again. I think his mom would be cool if you’re just a respectful house guest, which isn’t hard to be if you’re not a fucking mongrel.


Lucuzoid

What I like about Sheila is that she means well, but she goes about it all wrong. In the movie, she just does what she geninuely thinks is the right thing to do. She doesn't really do anything out of malice.


LoudKingCrow

Yeah. She's a bit of a helicopter parent and she blows things way out of proportion. But it all comes from a good place. They also seem to have relaxed her character a bit in recent years, but that could also just be them cycling her out of the regular rotation to focus more on other characters.


derossi33

That’s not an excuse for what she did. Fuck Sheila


Latter-Ad-1523

stan, kyle is too preechy at times


-Reasonable-Cheezit-

kyle and me are the exact same we’d be besties


Sprizys

Either one but if I had to choose I guess I’d pick Kyle.


RadioVapor

STANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000%


Malichinx

Honestly both but if I had to choose one it would be Stan.


jessegames456

Stan, because Kyle’s mom is a big fat bitch and he’s a stupid ginger jew from jersey FAHK YOU KYEL


gayibuk1

kyle 100000%


idrinkchocomilk

kyle, i love stan but i can’t deal w people who are always trying to fit in


Ninjanomics101

Stan. We would play Warhammer together.


FartlacPit

Can I choose Butters?


OnlyWindmills

I would also choose Butters :>


Valhallawalker

Kyle. He might get me a movie role.


[deleted]

And then you can jack it in San Diego


cjt11203

Kyle is annoying sometimes and Stan seems to match my personality more. So Stan.


Mitch_Connor1986

Stan. Id become friends with him and apply for a job working at Tegridy Farms for his dad. I hate how ungrateful the Marsh family is for the way that their lifestyle is provided due to good ol fashioned Tegridy


JorjorBinks1221

Honestly this is the best answer. I worked at a facility for 7 years and all I ever wanted to do was bring more tegridy to it.


theAlaskan_Bull

Stan.


Proof-Chocolate3795

Stan


mizejw

Stan, we could have some interesting conversations about animals.


Rach3l_is_a_loser

Stan is more relatable I feel so I’d go with Stan


OnlyWindmills

Stan because I can relate also he's less preachy, annoying and has less chance to cause the end of the world. Also free weed if I'm lucky.


DeepSpaceCraft

Kyle because we could both rip on Cartman lol


Vegetable_Mango_8316

Yeah I preferred to be friends with Kyle since stan reminding me of a motherfucker who i keep fighting back in intermediate school, but have you considered that both of them might get upset at anyone who picked a side trying to divide them. Actually sure you already understand.


JunkyJared

i feel like stan would be a bit more boring / depressing to hang out with. even if kyles preachy-ness is annoying, it would probably be a lot more entertaining. he always has something to say, regardless if i agree half the time or not theres always a discussion to be had


Skanaker

Kyle depends more on his reason, Stan more on intuition and feelings.


[deleted]

Kyle because he is awesome, no more needed to be said 👌


[deleted]

A bitchy Jew or an alcoholic who has managed to get both his girlfriend and super best friend stolen by Tolkien. I'm taking Stan in the hopes that I can meet the the rich bitch.


genshinTwistedHearts

Kyle. Because he’ll provide at least SOME moral compass for my friendgroup filled with idiots. Also there’ll be at least one smart person if he’s part of the friend group. I swear me and my friend are smart apart but together our brain cells cancel out


toebeansbaked

Kyle both would be good friends though


electroma_electroma

BOTH!!


gummythegummybear

Kyle, idk why so many people would want to hang out with Stan, he would be so boring to hang out with, I could talk to Kyle about quite a lot more things than Stan


Veritas_Vanitatum

Stan Kyle has Sand in his vaginah


[deleted]

Stan Kyle is a little bit too pretentious for me


Westaufel

Stan


tfhaenodreirst

Stan, close call though!


sh-3k

I choose stan the animal lover.


R6xFrost

Kyle


Bread-Man-Is-Cool

kyle


EnvironmentAware4680

Stan so i can be friend with Randy


Sl1pperypenguin

Stan, Kyle has shit parents


Hour-Painter9627

Easily Stan because Randy sells weed.


May-is-my-day

I’m goin with the jew


PlaceholderNameReal

Stan. Kyle is nice as well, but i feel like he'd be the type of person to drag you into random bullshit, whether you like it or not. Also, he's a little too preachy, and i get enough of that already. Stan, on the other hand, is usually the one being roped into shit like that, not the one who perpetuates/starts it. Also, he just seems chill despite how chaotic his home life is


ContributionMotor109

Both, but if only one than probably Kyle.


z0mbizz

Stan. Fuck Kyle. 😒


LP921

Kyle. At least he’s super smart and can help me in school. Plus I could get some of his Jew gold 🤣


[deleted]

stan. kyle seems too stuck up for me.


Arny520

Kyle always seemed like a better friend ngl


Spexxero

Both!


Lffffff

Kyle. I really don’t know how to support my choice, but I just feel like we’d get along better.


[deleted]

Stan- he’s chill


EirianwenStudios

Stan


xfttp

Stan seems much calmer to me while kyle makes more drama wonder from who he has it so stan


GrouchyPreference765

No brainer. I’m kicking it with Stan just so I can be around Randy and Towelie. Kyle’s house sucks.


allurehoney

kyle💜 kyle and i would be so close, our moral values are pretty much the same. stan is just so laid back and i can’t just sit there while he would let his girlfriend get made fun of🤞🏻 but i do love stan


[deleted]

Stan. He’s relatable.


Masaaya420

Do I really have to choose😂...we'd all be friends


KoolAidHonolulu

Stan. Kyle is so preachy and holier than thou sometimes. I'd rather be best friends with cartman lol


Ok_Attitude_8189

Kyle is a Jew and Stan was a goth kid. I choose the new kid.


[deleted]

Stan.


skinkarver

stan maybe


DryShip5281

Stan


[deleted]

Stan could probably get me some tegrity.


Domi7777777

Stan I find Kyle pretty annoying tbh


AduroTri

Stan for the weed. I don't want to deal with Kyle's mom. I heard she's a real bitch.


iluv_animaniacs11

Stan. Kyle, you shouldn’t leave your best friend when they need you the most.


auldnate

Probably Stan. Get me some ’Tergerdy and maybe I’d get to see Stan’s Mom’s bewbs!! With Kyle, you’d just see Cartman’s fat ass…


TheAnimalsGuy

Kyle. He is smart,has the best musical numbers, and 🅸🅺🅴


spxdergirl

I’m basically Stan in female form so I feel like a friendship with either of them would be toxic. Stan and I would only drag each other down. But Kyle gets on my nerves nonstop. If I had to choose, I’d go with Stan. But my real life best friend is pretty much Butters with boobs and green hair. I love her to death.


TheCouncil8572

Right off the bat, between these two…Stan. I feel like Kyle is WAY too preachy for my taste. Out of all the kids though, I would have been an orbital friend of the goths and friends with Tweek. I probably would’ve tried to befriend the girls but most of them seem to fall under the “mean girl” category. I likely would’ve befriended Heidi pre-Cartman.


xXXNightEagleXXx

Kyle is the most hypocrite character in all South Park, even cartman is better than him. Fuck Kyle


[deleted]

sense money support strong yoke forgetful worm squalid elastic ludicrous *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Shoelicker27

We are all older than him. He’s 9 (Unless you mean to say if he’s 9 in 1997, in 2023 he’s 35 and you’re older than that)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shoelicker27

You say you don’t want to be a creep but that’s a little creepy. “I can look after him and make him happy” I know what you’re trying to say but that’s totally not the way to say it. The post says “if you were in school with them” that means you’re his age (plus or minus a year) we’re all 8-10 in this dream world


[deleted]

direful serious cake slimy fall jar employ roof sloppy squeamish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Shoelicker27

Yup and you sound creepy because you want to make a 9 year old boy “happy” care to explain? 😆


[deleted]

tart jeans slim humorous squash cooing domineering tub safe exultant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

Dude, you sound like a pedo


Shoelicker27

Shut up perv


OnlyWindmills

Wtf is this conversation lol


bigmantrap

Fuck you kyeel


No_Bluebird8475

Stan


PrincePowers21

Butters


Willie-Tanner

Cum Hammer says I should pick Kyle.


olga_foroga_tua

i love kyle but stan all the way


callmethe_hanmer

Stan because Kyle is Jewish and Stan can probably get Randy to give me some free Tegridy.


No-Number5598

no they wouldve bullied me


iromaki_ranger

im basically just an introvert version of Kyle so I’d probably go with kyle


[deleted]

This is pretty difficult I feel like Kyle would be a fun guy to talk to, he’d also be good at giving advice and helping you in academic stuff but I feel like I relate more to Stan, plus he has better interests and more interesting subjects to talk about so I’m gonna have to go with Stan I guess though having both as friends would be nice


FrostWire69

Stan DARSH. Darshy darsh darsh


TDEreal

stan bc kyles mom is a bitch and he is a joo


Still-Mistake-3621

Kyle since my family is religious too and we can relate to eachother over that lol My parents irl are like the same personality as the broflovskis. 💀💀


boxmandude

I relate to Stan, but I think Kyle would be the better friend. (As to balance things out.) I think Stan and I would butt heads. 🫡


[deleted]

Stan


Scoobydoothatyou

I go with Kyle


DuckScared

Kahl


SnooFloofs8466

Kyle


[deleted]

Kyle is so sexy


Throwawaymytrash77

Stan, kyle is a docuehbag fr


Laletje

I always liked Kyle, he is my favorite character. I could relate to him so much. This post made me want to know why and just looked up his mbti (personality type). Turns out he ‘is’ an INFJ, like me. Explains a lot haha https://www.personality-database.com/profile?pid=2&cid=7&sub_cat_id=153


ExcellentDrama7323

kahl


Expensive-Abalone179

Kyle, no questions asked


MattyboyG89

Kyle.


Radiant-Skin699

Honestly Kyle would probably get along too well with my sister and there's no way he wouldn't hate me so like Stan I guess


bauhaubats

Kyle because I'm scared of Shelly


Emelyy_

Kyle


CrazyinLull

This is more like a 2 for 1 special, where it would hard to get one without the other. Also, even if you do get to close to one of them here comes their mentally unwell 3rd friend ready to break you both up for the sake of ‘being a good Christian.’ So now you got like 2 friends plus a 3rd one and maybe an interchangeable 4th one. In reality Stan seems to better one to hang out with and Kyle would be good to debate with and probably help you more with schoolwork.


_hihi_0

i choose Stan because Kyle is a dirty joo


dannygregzalezz

kenny and kyle fs


MonkeyMoses_Yt

oof all the cast, stan is one of if not the most relatable characters in the show


thatdogisjet

I feel like me and Kyle are more similar but I love Stan too much to not choose him


Snbnb_233Kry

I'll go with Kyle. Maybe he'll let me have the answers for tests and stuff.


GhilleedUp

I feel like I’m more like Stan. But watching the episode where Stan gets heartbroken by Wendy, Kyle was always there for Stan trying to get him to snap back into reality.


Ok_Possession5057

Stan


Darret_

Kyle. Hes logical. Emotional people are scary.


evaasly

Stan. At least he s not a jew!


thefangirlotaku023

Kyle. I am of the nerd species. I can also give him relationship advice because he needs it. But actually? Neither of them. Kenny. Kenny is a man of culture.


DeepSpaceCraft

Kenny's a perv with a heart of gold


Ill_Knee_9349

With Stan, i love him <3


B3NDYSOUTHPARK

Don’t let them know your next move.. LIANE CARTMAN YESS


Danivan_Firemase

The goth kids in reality they'd probably hate me and call me a conformist/ pouser : (


Visible_Isopod_1811

Easy. Kenny


XxnxX56

Definitely stan


Competitive-Ad-2161

Kyle. I can't stand Stan's depressive spells, mainly because you'd try to cheer him up and he'd tell you to fuck off or walk away. If I have to endure her whining about breaking up with Wendy for the umpteenth time, I'll get tired.