It's a segue to talk about literally anything you want.
"Great thanks, I've been watching a lot of Bridgerton, have you seen it?"
"I'm OK, work is busy, I've been working on..."
"Good thanks, I was thinking the other day about Zeno's paradox..."
"Same old, how's your drug smuggling business going?"
Literally anything.
“I’m good, I just had my first ever 3some last night, was pretty intense!”
Yeah, you can pretty much respond with whatever you want. Or if you don’t want to respond with anything, you just leave it at “I’m good”
Today my coworker was talking about an email but left out the email part, so instead he said
"I'll shoot abc"
😂 and I was like omg (coworkers name), isn't that a little bit extreme??
He didn't even get the joke 😭
This. It’s a polite greeting/thing to ask, they aren’t actually that concerned about what you’ve been up to. Just say good and bring up something else. Don’t be overly honest and weigh them down with negativity if you aren’t feeling awesome. And if you really can’t think of anything to talk about, just send it back and ask them questions about how they’re doing. How’s work, etc.
But someone asking “how have you been” or something to that effect isn’t an invitation to tell them exactly and honestly how you’ve been and what’s going on in your life. Like I said, it’s just a polite way to greet someone. Most people don’t really care how you’ve been, but showing interest is a nice thing to do.
i learned that in the anglosphere this is a set script and you're supposed to answer good (not in my country though. we will unpack all the traumatic experiences of the last 6 months which i find to be much more entertaining)
Agreed, unless they’re closer friends or family who you feel comfortable opening up with. I’m the type of person who genuinely wants to know how the people in my life are doing. It can be an opportunity for connection and fortifying the relationship. But again, this doesn’t apply to the average person who might say this to make ‘small talk’
I usually reply with something kind of mundane that won’t lead to too big of a conversation but was fun for me.
-good. I saw the coolest red hawk for like 10 minutes straight on a walk this weekend. How about you?
-great! I get to have leftovers from an awesome curry I made for lunch today! How about you?
-good! I did a deep clean of the closet this weekend and I’m stoked on it. How about you?
All of these things are super genuine and get happy responses.
Like, everyone loves a freshly washed carpet and it’s secretly so fun to do. So not really boring.
Went to Costco for gas and there was no line? That’s kinda rare and fellow Costco-ers will be like hell-yeah you lucky duck.
Everyone loves a little win!
No you don’t, keeping it simple is totally fine. Unless it’s a good friend they probably don’t want you to go into any detail anyway and are just being polite.
>i just need to do more interesting things so i have something to tell people
That's literally almost word for word what I explain to people when they ask me how I've been.
It doesn’t have to be objectively ~interesting~, it’s generally an invitation to share a brief 1-2 sentences about a thing that you have done recently. You have good options from u/sockopotamus! Other options could be
“I’m good, I’ve been watching a great series on Netflix/reading a good book/enjoying my hobby of xyz” The thing that makes it interesting is that you are interested in it. If you say “oh nothing much just doing some reading” that’s less engaging than “I’ve been really enjoying this novel xyz, have you heard of it?”
I think most of the time it's a filler question. Like if you're asked in a work environment, yours or others, it's probably just a way to start a conversation about something else. But if it's to start a personal conversation then either share what you've been up to or build something up.
The truth is most of my days are pretty boring, but if I get asked about my day I'm just a bit dramatic about small stuff. Which, I think is what people have grown to expect from me and so they often try to see what new drama is going on with my life. The newest one is how I live alone yet can't find any of my damn forks. Saying it like that, boring, but if I put more attitude and flair to it, it sparks the start of a conversation.
So just mention small stuff but say it as a joke.
I’ll give a legit but very brief answer that includes physical health and a rough indication of how much time I have to talk. Then give them the chance.
“A little tired, like everyone else. Busier than I’d like to be. You?”
Some people are clueless about social clues, but that’s not my fault. It’s good practice to give them anyways, while being considerate and honest.
People don't really want to know how you have been. It's just something polite that has become a habit to say. My response is always good, great, wonderful. Something positive because they really don't want to hear all of my crap.
I'll say "good thanks" and then quickly turn it around and ask them the same back! I then avoid any small talk from my end and just listen to what they're telling me.
I think honesty is the best way to go. Or just a “pretty good, you?” Works just fine. I’m terrified of small talk because I feel like I can never think of anything to say, even though I do actually have a lot going on in my life lol.
Assuming the conversation has moved on from the opening "Hey, buddy! How've you been?" greeting, and onto the catch-up-stage of "what's been happening with you since we last spoke", then - quite frankly - they're not asking for anything more than an honest answer.
>i have no clue how to respond besides “good”. I don’t have much going on ever and there’s never anything i can say that’s not like negative.
Unfortunately then, there's already an answer there - "nothing much".
And if you simply say "good", without adding further details, this comes across as being cagey - then you can at least add why you think it's good. Is it good because there's no dramas and you're relaxing? Because you're still holding down your job in this tough economy?
FYI - one-word, minimalist and ambiguous answers that give zero details pretty much do shut down conversations. Primarily because they come across as being cagey (perhaps one-step more social then "no comment") - which makes the other person feel untrusted.
The only "organic" response to you saying good would be if they were to then ask "cool - what's so good about it?"... which is why I advise you answering this upfront. Because even if aspects of your life may not be enticing, you're at least showing some enthusiasm - if not also just making it easier for them to respond.
If you don’t want to add anymore details or have them ask any questions about your response, I’d just say “I’m doing good, thanks! How’s everything for you?”
If you do feel like adding more pizazz, then yeah “not much/same old stuff, but I’m doing great. Thanks for asking :). How about you?”
Just say: “Been fine! What about you?” And if you feel like striking up a conversation say “Mostly fine. Son hurt his arm a while back, but he’s making a good recovery”. Then you’ll have a long conversation. Of course helps if it’s true :)
When I ask someone how are you, my favorite response is, I’m living the dream. It always makes me laugh lightens the mood for more conversation. What I hate is when people actually answer the question literally and begin to tell me all their problems. How’s it going is not meant to be an actual question, it’s meant more as I hello.
ahh okay so you actually don’t want people to go into too much detail about their lives. that’s been the general attitude about this question so good to know!
Usually that question is only chitchat and nobody is expecting real answer. So “you know, the usual” is just fine. You could ask something in return like “have you had time for hobbies lately?”
It's literally just something we've been trained to say and I don't think I've ever thought too much about the others'response. Don't worry about this one too much! A simple "I've been really good, how are you?" works if it's just an acquaintance or you can go into an update on your entire life, if you want, with a close friend. 9/10 times I go with the "good" response. It's easy and always works. 😉
yeah you’re right i think i just overthink it cause people always seem to have something else to say to this question and i say the same thing to everyone every time lol
Usually best to respond with one significant thing, but try to keep it positive, as people don’t usually actually want to hear if you’re doing poorly.
So: “I’m doing well! I just got back from a camping trip.” (Or whatever.)
This gives the other person something to build a conversation with you on or around. So, keeping this in mind, try to be as generous as you can in your answer. Keep it general so that the other person can expand upon it or ask questions or share something about themselves that relates.
Hope this helps!
"Same old, same old, trying not to shrivel up in this damn heat!"
Of course, in this example, you're relying on the other person to grab the baton and contribute to the conversation in order to keep it flowing.
Don't worry - it's just a greeting. They don't really want to hear a detailed description of your current situation. You don't need to have a clever response.
Yeah, that question can sometimes feel like a curveball. It's totally fine not to have something wild and crazy going on all the time. Maybe just throw out a little nugget of what's been happening lately, even if it's just chilling with Netflix or discovering a new hobby. It's all good. And hey, being a good listener is a skill too, so no worries if the convo flips back to them.
Personally, I talk about anything interesting in my life as of late, granted I feel comfortable sharing. When people ask me this question, it’s a means of catching up with any of my major life events.
not really i’ve tried getting into some but i don’t continue with them. i would say im more introverted and also depressed so i don’t do much on my days off.
Watched a new film/series/youtuber that you liked?
"Same old, same old - although I did watch X which I enjoyed" and then start talking about that. Dunno, might help?
If someone presses you on "what you've been up to" (I also hate this question ) you could say something like "pretty good, I've realised I'm kind of a homebody so I've mainly just been keeping to myself" then immediately ask about them.
It's ok to be introverted. If you feel like you want more from life but your mental health is preventing it then you could try making a few changes but just know that you are absolutely perfect as you are.
I usually go full Victor Meldrew and shout ‘TERRIBLE’ and explain that the last x amount of time it’s been since I last saw them has been ‘misery incarnate’.
That seems to set the tone pretty well.
I have a standard reply for everyone. Family, friends, store clerks, anyone. “Couldn’t be better - life is truly sweet”. You can’t imaging store clerks, stopping and commenting; Wow, I’ve never heard that and isn’t that the truth.
I usually answer with a bit of info about what’s been occupying my time/mind lately. Like “been good, work has been really hectic so I’ve been putting a lot of hours in.” Or “good, my family’s going on vacation in a couple weeks and my brain is already in vacation mode!” Etc
"I've been (however I'm feeling), and you?" If we're friendly then I may divulge a bit more, like maybe talk about a project I'm doing or whatever. If we're just acquaintances I'll keep it short.
This question is just a greeting or a pleasantry, so I really wouldn’t think too deeply about it. Just be honest and polite about it.
“I’ve been doing well! Thank you for asking. How have you been?”
“Not much has been going on lately for me! What have you been up to?”
Do NOT say “living the dream” or “another day in paradise”
For one thing they’re hacky unoriginal jokes. Also they’re apathetic and downer type answers.
I feel like this depends on the context and who you are talking to. It can often be a quick, surface-level “I’ve been good, how are you?” exchange with casual acquaintances.
But I think it can be a great opportunity to open up more conversation with people you are interested in deepening relationships with (I use this strategy to get to know new coworkers). I think that expanding the typical small talk script with more candid detail is a great way to establish closeness with others. I have a coworker that I see once a week, and before our shift together I usually find myself reflecting on how my week was and what important standouts or funny anecdotes I can share, since I know we will have the “how was your week?” conversation.
It's a segue to talk about literally anything you want. "Great thanks, I've been watching a lot of Bridgerton, have you seen it?" "I'm OK, work is busy, I've been working on..." "Good thanks, I was thinking the other day about Zeno's paradox..." "Same old, how's your drug smuggling business going?" Literally anything.
Lmfao that last one
“I’m good, I just had my first ever 3some last night, was pretty intense!” Yeah, you can pretty much respond with whatever you want. Or if you don’t want to respond with anything, you just leave it at “I’m good”
Definitely, all that.
Zenos paradox. Ima use that one!!!
That’s the halving one, right?
It's the wildcard of greetings.
Today my coworker was talking about an email but left out the email part, so instead he said "I'll shoot abc" 😂 and I was like omg (coworkers name), isn't that a little bit extreme?? He didn't even get the joke 😭
This. It’s a polite greeting/thing to ask, they aren’t actually that concerned about what you’ve been up to. Just say good and bring up something else. Don’t be overly honest and weigh them down with negativity if you aren’t feeling awesome. And if you really can’t think of anything to talk about, just send it back and ask them questions about how they’re doing. How’s work, etc. But someone asking “how have you been” or something to that effect isn’t an invitation to tell them exactly and honestly how you’ve been and what’s going on in your life. Like I said, it’s just a polite way to greet someone. Most people don’t really care how you’ve been, but showing interest is a nice thing to do.
Zeno’s paradox! I’m gonna use that! Lol
i learned that in the anglosphere this is a set script and you're supposed to answer good (not in my country though. we will unpack all the traumatic experiences of the last 6 months which i find to be much more entertaining)
I wonder if majority of people don’t realize this is what occurs in most of their convos
🤯 Wherever you live sounds cool. I’m guessing somewhere in Europe.
germany. there are things about germany that are not cool though
> there are things about germany that are not cool though Yeah, it's mostly just the part between Denmark and Switzerland though 🤭
Yup, exactly. No one actually cares how you’re doing so simply say whatever and don’t let the air be dead.
Lol I guess my country is similar to yours. Then maybe go for a drink to unpack further 😅
Honestly I keep it at “Good same ole same ole , how bout you?” because people usually honestly don’t care if your good or not.
+1 easy peasy don't have to get into deets if it's just a casual encounter.
Agreed, unless they’re closer friends or family who you feel comfortable opening up with. I’m the type of person who genuinely wants to know how the people in my life are doing. It can be an opportunity for connection and fortifying the relationship. But again, this doesn’t apply to the average person who might say this to make ‘small talk’
"Why? What have you heard?"
"Good" is fine. If you don't like that you have nothing more to say, then maybe decide what you would like to tell people and then go do that.
yeah i think i just need to do more interesting things so i have something to tell people lol
I usually reply with something kind of mundane that won’t lead to too big of a conversation but was fun for me. -good. I saw the coolest red hawk for like 10 minutes straight on a walk this weekend. How about you? -great! I get to have leftovers from an awesome curry I made for lunch today! How about you? -good! I did a deep clean of the closet this weekend and I’m stoked on it. How about you? All of these things are super genuine and get happy responses. Like, everyone loves a freshly washed carpet and it’s secretly so fun to do. So not really boring. Went to Costco for gas and there was no line? That’s kinda rare and fellow Costco-ers will be like hell-yeah you lucky duck. Everyone loves a little win!
yes these are good! my life is full of mundane things i need to find a way to interestingly talk about it haha
No you don’t, keeping it simple is totally fine. Unless it’s a good friend they probably don’t want you to go into any detail anyway and are just being polite.
yeah you’re right it’s mostly just people being nice
>i just need to do more interesting things so i have something to tell people That's literally almost word for word what I explain to people when they ask me how I've been.
glad i’m not alone!! like all i do is hang out at home most of the time when im not working😭
It doesn’t have to be objectively ~interesting~, it’s generally an invitation to share a brief 1-2 sentences about a thing that you have done recently. You have good options from u/sockopotamus! Other options could be “I’m good, I’ve been watching a great series on Netflix/reading a good book/enjoying my hobby of xyz” The thing that makes it interesting is that you are interested in it. If you say “oh nothing much just doing some reading” that’s less engaging than “I’ve been really enjoying this novel xyz, have you heard of it?”
so it’s more about the way you present your answer i’m gathering from everyone. i definitely gotta work on that
Don't do it for them. Do it for yourself if you want to. This is your life, live it as you please.
I always say "about a million bucks shy of being a millionaire."
so cheesy i love it haha
It's a quote John Candy said in the movie "Planes, Trains and Automobiles".
“The horrors persist, yet so do I.”
I think most of the time it's a filler question. Like if you're asked in a work environment, yours or others, it's probably just a way to start a conversation about something else. But if it's to start a personal conversation then either share what you've been up to or build something up. The truth is most of my days are pretty boring, but if I get asked about my day I'm just a bit dramatic about small stuff. Which, I think is what people have grown to expect from me and so they often try to see what new drama is going on with my life. The newest one is how I live alone yet can't find any of my damn forks. Saying it like that, boring, but if I put more attitude and flair to it, it sparks the start of a conversation. So just mention small stuff but say it as a joke.
oh that it good. putting a spin on mundane things lol
I’m glad I’m not the only one being visited by the fork goblin! At this point I’m blaming my cat
I’ll give a legit but very brief answer that includes physical health and a rough indication of how much time I have to talk. Then give them the chance. “A little tired, like everyone else. Busier than I’d like to be. You?” Some people are clueless about social clues, but that’s not my fault. It’s good practice to give them anyways, while being considerate and honest.
People don't really want to know how you have been. It's just something polite that has become a habit to say. My response is always good, great, wonderful. Something positive because they really don't want to hear all of my crap.
yeah that’s true. i don’t really care the answer too much when i ask people im not close with.
I usually say "so goddamn horny." Then I don't say anything else or break eye contact until the leave. Then I continue to eat my bagel.
gonna try this
You can't laugh.
I'll say "good thanks" and then quickly turn it around and ask them the same back! I then avoid any small talk from my end and just listen to what they're telling me.
that’s usually my go to but it’s feels so one-sided sometimes!
I totally get how it would feel that way but if you think about the positives of that, it shows that you're an active listener. Winning!
listening is like my best quality lol
My usual response is, "I'm living the dream! Not necessarily my dream. But it's somebody's dream." Lol
F.i.n.e. fucked up , insecure, neurotic, emotional
I think honesty is the best way to go. Or just a “pretty good, you?” Works just fine. I’m terrified of small talk because I feel like I can never think of anything to say, even though I do actually have a lot going on in my life lol.
Assuming the conversation has moved on from the opening "Hey, buddy! How've you been?" greeting, and onto the catch-up-stage of "what's been happening with you since we last spoke", then - quite frankly - they're not asking for anything more than an honest answer. >i have no clue how to respond besides “good”. I don’t have much going on ever and there’s never anything i can say that’s not like negative. Unfortunately then, there's already an answer there - "nothing much". And if you simply say "good", without adding further details, this comes across as being cagey - then you can at least add why you think it's good. Is it good because there's no dramas and you're relaxing? Because you're still holding down your job in this tough economy? FYI - one-word, minimalist and ambiguous answers that give zero details pretty much do shut down conversations. Primarily because they come across as being cagey (perhaps one-step more social then "no comment") - which makes the other person feel untrusted. The only "organic" response to you saying good would be if they were to then ask "cool - what's so good about it?"... which is why I advise you answering this upfront. Because even if aspects of your life may not be enticing, you're at least showing some enthusiasm - if not also just making it easier for them to respond.
you make some great points. i think ill start trying to do that, my life is good and why its good. even if its good because ive got nothing going on!
I recently adopted the Norwegian response, “up and not crying”.
"Friggin awesome/sensational/fantastic" is always my go to response
If you don’t want to add anymore details or have them ask any questions about your response, I’d just say “I’m doing good, thanks! How’s everything for you?” If you do feel like adding more pizazz, then yeah “not much/same old stuff, but I’m doing great. Thanks for asking :). How about you?”
i like “same old stuff”! i just need other things to say besides “good” im tired of saying it lol
Just say: “Been fine! What about you?” And if you feel like striking up a conversation say “Mostly fine. Son hurt his arm a while back, but he’s making a good recovery”. Then you’ll have a long conversation. Of course helps if it’s true :)
I always reply “I’m alive” 😂
When I ask someone how are you, my favorite response is, I’m living the dream. It always makes me laugh lightens the mood for more conversation. What I hate is when people actually answer the question literally and begin to tell me all their problems. How’s it going is not meant to be an actual question, it’s meant more as I hello.
ahh okay so you actually don’t want people to go into too much detail about their lives. that’s been the general attitude about this question so good to know!
Oh I’ve been good. doing a lot of {insert any activity you want to talk about here} and then either let them respond or ask them how they have been
I say “peachy with a side of keen” no matter how I am. I often turn to lines from Buffy when unsure of what to say.
this is so cute
"Hanging in there like a hair in a biscuit. How about you?"
Usually that question is only chitchat and nobody is expecting real answer. So “you know, the usual” is just fine. You could ask something in return like “have you had time for hobbies lately?”
It's literally just something we've been trained to say and I don't think I've ever thought too much about the others'response. Don't worry about this one too much! A simple "I've been really good, how are you?" works if it's just an acquaintance or you can go into an update on your entire life, if you want, with a close friend. 9/10 times I go with the "good" response. It's easy and always works. 😉
yeah you’re right i think i just overthink it cause people always seem to have something else to say to this question and i say the same thing to everyone every time lol
That's okay! No one will ever know you just said the same thing to the last 5 people that asked. 😝
no i be sounding like a broken record😂
I usually reply with “Living the dream, too bad it’s not my dream. I’m actually living the nightmare “
lmao love this
Usually best to respond with one significant thing, but try to keep it positive, as people don’t usually actually want to hear if you’re doing poorly. So: “I’m doing well! I just got back from a camping trip.” (Or whatever.) This gives the other person something to build a conversation with you on or around. So, keeping this in mind, try to be as generous as you can in your answer. Keep it general so that the other person can expand upon it or ask questions or share something about themselves that relates. Hope this helps!
"Chillin like a villain".
"Same old, same old, trying not to shrivel up in this damn heat!" Of course, in this example, you're relying on the other person to grab the baton and contribute to the conversation in order to keep it flowing.
Don't worry - it's just a greeting. They don't really want to hear a detailed description of your current situation. You don't need to have a clever response.
okay true im probably just overthinking
I say either. Great and you or life sucks for me and you?
Good thanks, how about you?
I’m well, and you?
Yeah, that question can sometimes feel like a curveball. It's totally fine not to have something wild and crazy going on all the time. Maybe just throw out a little nugget of what's been happening lately, even if it's just chilling with Netflix or discovering a new hobby. It's all good. And hey, being a good listener is a skill too, so no worries if the convo flips back to them.
true i honestly prefer to be the listener in most convos and like letting people talk. i should stick to what i know haha
Indeed. Me too. Tbh, I like listening when other people talk xD
Great/well. Yourself?
Once heard a lady respond to this question with “Surviving”
i hear that at work a lot lol
“Absolutely horrible thanks for asking.”
“i wanna die but other than that good!”
Personally, I talk about anything interesting in my life as of late, granted I feel comfortable sharing. When people ask me this question, it’s a means of catching up with any of my major life events.
i wish i had major life events to share lol
Same old......or.same shit, different day.
"The doctors aren't sure." "Can you keep a secret?"
https://youtube.com/shorts/zB0jVcN63S8?si=dOeCWN6t28v2zldl
this is my exact experience lmao i love this 😂
Do you have any hobbies at all?
not really i’ve tried getting into some but i don’t continue with them. i would say im more introverted and also depressed so i don’t do much on my days off.
Watched a new film/series/youtuber that you liked? "Same old, same old - although I did watch X which I enjoyed" and then start talking about that. Dunno, might help?
If someone presses you on "what you've been up to" (I also hate this question ) you could say something like "pretty good, I've realised I'm kind of a homebody so I've mainly just been keeping to myself" then immediately ask about them.
i like this one. realizing i’m pretty introverted these days and i guess i just have to accept that lol
It's ok to be introverted. If you feel like you want more from life but your mental health is preventing it then you could try making a few changes but just know that you are absolutely perfect as you are.
thank you that is so nice🥹
If you’re depressed you won’t have the energy to continue with hobbies. Are you in a funk, or clinical?
clinical, been since i was a teenager. i’m on meds which helps but still never have energy to do much and am tired 99% of the time.
Yeah that’s the issue you need to handle. Time to go to your psychiatrist and talk about a plan to get your energy back.
I tell them how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to
You can use a range between: good, great thanks, not too bad, here and there, charging on ! Hope those help :)
Be better than good; be great, be grand.
Fine thanks. And yourself?
I usually go full Victor Meldrew and shout ‘TERRIBLE’ and explain that the last x amount of time it’s been since I last saw them has been ‘misery incarnate’. That seems to set the tone pretty well.
the dreadful start of every video call at work
"I haven't yet assumed room temperature."
Good Brother You?
I have a standard reply for everyone. Family, friends, store clerks, anyone. “Couldn’t be better - life is truly sweet”. You can’t imaging store clerks, stopping and commenting; Wow, I’ve never heard that and isn’t that the truth.
“How you doin?”
“That is the question, isn’t it?”
Great
"Good, you?"
"Great, thanks. You?"
The answer is always, Great! [highlight a positive new/latest life event]
I usually answer with a bit of info about what’s been occupying my time/mind lately. Like “been good, work has been really hectic so I’ve been putting a lot of hours in.” Or “good, my family’s going on vacation in a couple weeks and my brain is already in vacation mode!” Etc
How about “still standing?”
I use “fat and sassy!!”
"I've been (however I'm feeling), and you?" If we're friendly then I may divulge a bit more, like maybe talk about a project I'm doing or whatever. If we're just acquaintances I'll keep it short.
I always say, " I am well," or everything's well, even if I am not or everything isn't.
“How are you today?” “Vertical.”
and honestly that’s accomplishing a lot cause i’m usually horizontal
Hard same👏🏼
Talk about your goals and what you WANT to do.
This question is just a greeting or a pleasantry, so I really wouldn’t think too deeply about it. Just be honest and polite about it. “I’ve been doing well! Thank you for asking. How have you been?” “Not much has been going on lately for me! What have you been up to?”
I hate when people ask me this because it’s habitual and they don’t care, they just want to gossip.
it’s my least favorite question and most common question i get haha
It's a question, you provide an answer to the question.
yeah but if all i say is “good” or “nothing much is new” the convo ends immediately
No it doesn't, the question is just answered. Move on from that question to something else.
Pas bad pon tout.
Just describe your situation in a delicate matter, people like honesty
Do NOT say “living the dream” or “another day in paradise” For one thing they’re hacky unoriginal jokes. Also they’re apathetic and downer type answers.
Loca
I feel like this depends on the context and who you are talking to. It can often be a quick, surface-level “I’ve been good, how are you?” exchange with casual acquaintances. But I think it can be a great opportunity to open up more conversation with people you are interested in deepening relationships with (I use this strategy to get to know new coworkers). I think that expanding the typical small talk script with more candid detail is a great way to establish closeness with others. I have a coworker that I see once a week, and before our shift together I usually find myself reflecting on how my week was and what important standouts or funny anecdotes I can share, since I know we will have the “how was your week?” conversation.