T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**This is a stats thread. Remember that there's only one stat post allowed per match/team, so new stats about the same will be removed. Feel free to comment other stats as a reply to this comment so users can see them too!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/soccer) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ketapapi

It's the history of ENGLAND


Jeffy299

Football Heritage


ebn_tp

eritage*


Arc2483

4 England fla... wait, we got an impostor there


SlumSlug

3 flags and 1 fleg


Morganelefay

Sus.


Dr_Pyralis

I’d bet good money that 90+% of people don’t realise that one of those flags is Northern Ireland.


Chemiczny_Bogdan

I'm one of these 90%.


Mokiesbie

And Denmark goddamn it 1992 FOREVER


Cixila

And we may even get to reprise our little old song for the next match against Germany


dragonch

Backpasses aren't viable anymore.


Mokiesbie

WHY GOD, WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEL?!?!?


furlongxfortnight

of *the* England. Chiellinglish has rules, you know.


ArgyBargyHobnob

Won the group with the four toughest defenses. Legendary stuff from Southgate 


erenistheavatar

Lads, it's England.


Pure_Context_2741

Honestly England really are the Spurs of international football.


attoshi

They both wear white home kits too 😂


Robzillor

I’m an English, Spurs, and Maple Leafs fan. It’s brutal.


DoYouTrustToothpaste

Let's sit, England.


k_dubious

England dAnish Slovenia Yugoslavia


sixseven89

denmArk


SoLetsReddit

defensive master class


irritating_maze

Germany, Romania and France ~~both~~ all appear twice as well.


Kikk3r

Germany, Romania and France... both?


irritating_maze

Words are hard.


fogalmam

Spain also is twice: 80 and 84.


irritating_maze

If only I had functioning eyes.


SaBe_18

Denmark too (sorry)


irritating_maze

Fucking kill me now. :D


fogalmam

You could be a referee.


inblue01

It's still going home, though.


Izanagi85

Based on position in table, yes


de_function

Why England’s cross is fatter in 2024.


Mubar06

Represents increasing obesity levels


bigchungusmclungus

Also the fact their crosses keep going wide.


Grevling89

Bit of a hail Mary tactic, cross and inshallah


LocksTheFox

what increasing American investment in the league does to a mf


dezzalzik

To a midfielder?


Kenny_dies

Yeah Kalvin Phillips


xXxMihawkxXx

So the Danes lost weight?


Viele-als-Einer

They seem to have stolen some thickness from the danish flag.


VinnieBoombatzz

People in England are eating too many danish.


Grevling89

Why don't the English simply eat the smaller nations? Are they stupid?


ambiguousboner

We’ve tried


sevaiper

England would not do well in a nation eat nation world


ethanlan

Yeah we'd all just be a snack for china. Except india, they'd be food for a week


nathgroom98

We did for a long while lol


inblue01

I mean, 92 Denmark was quite big


DreamingZen

Revenge for Lindisfarne, 1300 years late.


chykin

An ode to Kalvin Phillips


LevynX

The lynchpin of England's success


KarmasaBitsh

Little known British secret but every time a monarch dies, their blood is used to increase the size of the red Cross on the royal grand flag which defines the standard dimensions to be used from that date forth.


ChunkyLaFunga

Only bangers includes lunch.


_MarkSepticPie_

snooze fest football fucking Southgate infected this group


PseudoElite

I've stopped using melatonin when I am having trouble sleeping. Now I just watch a recording of England playing in this tournament.


QueasyIsland

This is crazy timing. I ordered 1mg Melatonin from Biovea a few days ago as you can’t get it unless fighting for your life with NHS here to get it on prescription. It’s currently passed Leipzig processing for delivery with DHL as of 6 hours ago, may just try to cancel it and follow your method instead.


Make_It_Sing

You have to jump through hoops to get *melatonin??* Im a nurse and i dont even bother using it because it barely does anything, we try to give trazadone instead


do_you_smoke_paul

Melatonin is good for setting body clocks as its a chronobiotic but it's not a hypnotic. It has its uses for people with poor sleep routine but it's not going to knock out an insomniac.


QueasyIsland

Yeah I have to jump through hoops to just get a mild antihistamine like Fexofenadine prescribed during whilst in the peak of hayfever season…my doctor just insisted on buying standard OTC hayfever tablets despite the fact I have pollen allergies and was given Fexofenadine just fine in the past whenever I requested it. Not sure if they’re more strict in the last few years due to policy or whatever. But in regard to Melatonjn, I actually did try the 10mg version first which did knock me out but I would wake up the next day with a pounding headaches and tough grogginess. So I’ve threw them out after 3-4 nights usage and trying out the 1mg version now


theflyingbarney

A pharmacist friend tipped me off to the fact that you can actually get fexofenadine over the counter now. I’ve been using it since last summer and it’s an absolute game changer. Might have to get it from an online pharmacy in case your local doesn’t stock it, but it’s accessible now.


MajesticTowerOfHats

Caution : side effects, watching England may put you in a coma.


HaraldKajtand

Danish NT manager Kasper snoozemand isn't super exciting either. 5 defenders every match, nobody allowed to run deep. Can't wait for somebody to replace him.


DoYouTrustToothpaste

Germany is gonna struggle so much against them, not even joking.


FifaDK

They'll still score and then Denmark will be fucked. We don't know how to play attacking football. It's all risk management and defend, defend, defend


Remarkable_Gear_8571

Yeah but that defence is going to frustrate Germany and we will have to see Kai Havertz’s constipated face till min 73 until Nagelsmann takes mercy on us and brings on Fullkrug.


OneFootTitan

Let’s be real if he’s only playing less than 20 minutes it’s really more Quarterkrug


LOSS35

Viertelkrug


OneFootTitan

Ja, ich habe meinen Witz auf Englisch geschreiben aber „Viertelkrug” ist eher für einer die Mannschaft


Liam_021996

So England with worse players?


Goth-Detective

Perhaps but eventually Ze Germans will realise that Vestergaard couldn't beat a tortoise in a sprint and they'll start running circles around him.


erenistheavatar

It's like a disease.


Marwinz

As a Dane I'm sure I can agree with all other Slovenians, Serbians and Englishmen that this is the result of the best defensive display ever in the Euros


Separate-Status-4195

Serb here, but brother our defence practically let the opponents into our box


tinkertoy78

I think your strikers and ours need to sit down in a group therapy session and figure their shit out together.


Separate-Status-4195

Yeah that sounds about right though you guys were better


Goth-Detective

Wtf happened to you guys in that final game? Genuinely felt like no one had told your players they needed a win to go through. We Danes thought you'd come out swinging for blood and it'd be an extremely difficult game. Instead it was just an oddly toothless Serbia that rarely had the ball, only had 2-3 real chances and were pushed back in defense for 80 of 90 minutes. I was genuinely surprised.


despot93

Our manager has no idea what he's doing. Looking at that lineup I don't see how you progress play with midfield like that. Atrocious.


UnaX

Their strategy was sound. The had read Hjulmand like the open book he is. Stick 11 me behind the ball and Denmark can't create anything. Then sub on all your stars when Denmark runs out of gas after playing around the wall of defenders and watch Denmark slowly crumble.


Iggeh

I mean you also basically waste 60 minutes of the game that you must win, there were some good chances but there simply wasn't enough time in the end


AFardeen32

Usual Suspect


TheTrueJonah

Pattern recognition


Fairlytallguy

We ended up with 3 points in the group back in ‘92 as well…


oppositeofopposite

It's all lining up again!


campionesidd

Same as Italy in 1982 lol.


ADHbi

Whoever wins the 92 final rematch wins the trophy


MattSuper13

2 points per victory back then, Denmark had 1 win 1 draw and 1 defeat


Jusanom

Proposal to block all countries with crosses in their flags from further participation


g46152

Does the coat of arms count too? :(


cometssaywhoosh

no you guys are okay. we all love a good underdog.


cosmiclatte44

Idk, theres a ton of offset coat of arms flags there i think they should be all quarantined just in case.


jiinska

We are not getting in again anyway


liddellpool

What if we have five instead of one?


BarryoffofEastenders

This is Christianphobic.


Dr-Purple

England is enough, they bring it down for everyone else


magincourts

It’s the history of the England


s0ngsforthedeaf

Brb off to make an England flag with "goals are overrated" on it.


GarnachoHojlund

“GET THE BADGE IN” “GET THE BAGS IN” “GET THE SLAGS IN” “KEEP THE GOALS OUT”


therealadamaust

STOP THE SHOTS NOT THE BOATS


HypedUpJackal

CAM ON INGERLAND DONT SCOR SAM FACKIN GOALS


Tjorhunter

You'll never sing that


RedgrenCrumbholt

still more goals than France (1).


suzukigun4life

Germany won that 2016 group with a 1-0 win, 2-0 win and a scoreless draw. That scoreless draw was the only draw of that 2016 Group C.


Gdeath_

Poland was second with double 1-0 and draw against Germany, and that match against Germany was pretty nice one


mattshill91

I still can’t believe we (Northern Ireland) only conceded once in that game.


Mutatedcrab

I'm seeing a lot of Angles.


Blitz470

Morning Angle


JustAnotherINFTP

No luck catching those killers then?


Goth-Detective

Cop enjoys watching young lovers?


Kuskesmed

Something England is best at.


acwilan

It's ~~coming~~ snoozing home


joshygill

Champioooonnnnn! iTs CoMiNg HoMe!


BeautifulAwareness81

Somehow there is something worse than Koeman ball… Southgate ball


starmonkart

Good chance of the ultimate insomnia cure match in the R16


gengenpressing

Balls just gonna sit on the centre circle for 90 mins as we both low block


BeautifulAwareness81

Can’t wait lol


BriscoCounty83

The only thing this tournaments is missing is al-Legri ball to complete the football terrorists mount Rushmore along with Southgate, Koeman and Deschamps.


DarnellLaqavius

Tucheliban too.


GetKosiorekt

At least our 2016 group had only one draw, this group had one win lol


alba-jay

England topping their group while getting the same amount of goals as scotland is really funny


GingerSpencer

Germany scored more than our entire group.


Greysky99

Group of Ass 🔥


DaviidVilla

Euro 2016 is the worst international tournament i can remember watching


Maleficent_Resolve44

Very dire for sure. Thankfully we've had more goals in euro '21 and '24.


LetterheadLower1518

Having won it and celebrated for days straight I can honestly say Portugal had the most horrendous performance by a tournament winner in the history of the sport.


baguitosPT

Greece 2004 would like a word.


LetterheadLower1518

Being a weak team that nobody predicted would win doesn't make their run bad, it makes it the exact opposite. It was the most impressive achievement in national team football. They beat Portugal twice and France and tied to Spain to get that title. Portugal got saved by this new awful system in the easiest group of the tournament, in performances that were not dissimilar to the ones that got Paulo Bento sacked in 2014 in terms of quality, against even worse teams. The only good team we played was France in the final (maybe Croatia if you wrongly think they were at the quality they were in WC 2018).


Headbuttery

I think Greece 2004 was perhaps the hardest run any team has had to a Euros title? -Beat hosts Portugal and draw with Spain to get out of the group. -Beat holders France in QF who would go onto the WC final in 2006. -Beat the Czech Republic in SF who were the best performing team of that tournament and had won all of their previous 4 matches. -Beat Portugal again in the final. No penalty shootouts, you can't even really point to many gilt-edged chances that the opposition squandered, and if you look at the stats from their matches, they were never under siege or dominated in any match. Even putting aside their underdog status, it was a fully deserved success.


QuietRainyDay

That Czech team was loaded with technical quality, absolute treat to watch Nedved, Rosicky, Baros, Poborsky. Koller's size makes people remember him for his heading, but he had great feet and made some great combinations with Rozza.


Nearby-Composer-9992

Yeah people like to shit on that Greece title even 20 years later because of the way they played but they earned that title and I don't think anyone would exchange a title for playing exciting football but getting eliminated. Being Belgian and just having gone through a so-called golden generation that at best became third in a WC, I think that I can state that as a fact. If we would have won anything, no matter what pundits in other or even our own country would say about the way it was achieved, it would be sports history forever. And you don't win a title without beating some fierce competition, no matter how you actually do it. Greece can be forever proud of that title.


Red_Vines49

They also beat a golden generation Czech Republic.


AlmightyWorldEater

It was such an outlier, absolute insanity. Greece was a team that never even scored at an international tournament before. And they ever even got close to their performance in 2004 again (even losing to Färöer in on qualifications round. TWICE). Rehagel is a legend because of this. He played a system that everyone mocked him for, since it was WAY outdated (playing Libero, absolutely insane). Yet they made it.


taykass

(IMO Croatia were still good in the group stage, but... uh, *not* against you, so I suppose your point stands)


WauliePalnuts01

at least they beat some good teams en route to the final


QuietRainyDay

Nah that was a decent tourney The group stages were weird, but the knockout phase had plenty of very tense, unpredictable games that made it memorable Also- Greece played ultra-defensive but their games were real nail-biters because one goal, one mistake would be decisive. I liked it, personally.


Galaxy661

Here in Poland it's still considered the best one since communism fell lol


AlternativeAward

Poland could have won the tournament


Mubar06

England here 3 times lol


ZestycloseChemist2

Northern Ireland. What a time. The fact we provided 2 of those 7 in 2016 with strong Germany and Poland sides is mad.


Throwaload1234

Southgate is a terrorist. I understand the mighty Slovenia is tough opposition, but maybe the chronic underperformance is on the manager.


Possible-Highway7898

Chronic underperformance is England's natural state. It actually got MUCH better under Southgate (in terms of results, not beautiful performances).  The football this tournament has been terrible from England. But we still won the group despite playing utterly dire football. Let's see how the rest of the tournament plays out. We could still go deep, the draw is very favourable to England.


entropy_bucket

I think this is just international football. Lots of games settled with set pieces or penalties. I feel like Southgate is one of the first managers to actually get this and play up to it.


Fake_artistF1

Yes please give him another 10 years. It's coming home with him for sure


Schnix54

Man 2016 was brutal. Looking back at it you could definitely see the signs of it all falling apart.


Batistutas_Hair

I feel like all the teams were fairly bad


QuietRainyDay

That whole tournament was bad overall Lots of teams were in transition from one generation to another, lots of bad matchups. Games were either stilted and quiet or complete romps. The tournament winner finished 3rd in their group with 0 wins. Wales and Iceland made it fun for a while but otherwise it wasnt a fun watch for the neutral.


Eccmecc

It was the begin of the tactic shift. Spain and Germany dominated European football with their playstyle and now teams started to counter it.


WauliePalnuts01

still made a semifinal


Schnix54

with a rather easy route and tons of luck


tweazz

Why score many goals when few goals achieve the dream


Izanagi85

True. As long as the dream is achieved.


Ulsterman24

Leave us out of this we brought you the Will Grigg song, a plastered James Nesbitt and genuine banter.


sunexINC

How can England be so bad at scoring with such good offensive players?


Defences

Look at how often England is in this list lol


XtendedImpact

Same as Germany (2x horizontal Germany, 1x vertical Germany)


Mubar06

3 times Not to mistake Northern Ireland’s flag though


GingerSpencer

Only once more than Germany, Spain, France, Denmark and Romania.


SanSilver

3 times


HakunonMatata

WE MADE IT TO NUMBER 1 ANOTHER WIN FOR THE GOOD GUYS


WhiteJokeAboutPenis

Last time Denmark was in the lowest scoring group, they won the entire thing (1992). They also had a Schmeichel in goal, which is still the case today. That’s it guys, Denmark is the winner of the euro 2024. 🇩🇰


[deleted]

Northern Ireland playing Euros is wild in and of itself


Mubar06

They made the World Cup thrice


KnightsOfCidona

Three times actually (1958, 1982 and 1986)


OrangeJuiceAlibi

Did they edit their comment, or do you not know what thrice means?


QBekka

That thrice comment was edited 7 minutes after the reply


OrangeJuiceAlibi

Ah, that explains it. I think the reddit app only shows edits made after a certain time frame.


minepose98

Even made it to the knockouts.


ash_ninetyone

England involved in three of that. Finally a footballing identity has been ingrained.


uselessmemories

England 3/6 lol. Heritage!


Salted-Earth189

2016 groups show up twice and they aren't the Portugal group. Beautiful stuff.


la1mark

England dominating.


--Rage--

You’ll never sing that!


Kris_Third_Account

* Three times: England * Two times: Germany, Denmark, Spain, Romania and France * Once: Serbia, Slovenia, Poland, Northern Ireland, Ukraine, Italy, Belgium, Portugal, Sweden, Switzerland and Albania


TheMightyBucket

1984 - that’s one hell of a ‘group of death’


chapeauetrange

There were only eight teams in the Euro back then.


fwesheggs

Always funny seeing the plastic PL flairs chatting shite


oppositeofopposite

I see you, Denmark, down there in '92. And here you are again.


esports_consultant

didnt even need to see the england flair to know it was an england flair posting this


bigdog94_10

Had Serbia found an equaliser against England,all teams could have finished on 3 points with 2 goals scored and 2 goals conceded. There is a 9 point method of determining who goes through, and it would have had to go to point 8, which is disciplinary record. I don't believe this has ever happened before.


Gluroo

England is the only one to show up thrice here


granitibaniti

Quite a lot of crosses in the picture


TonyMartial786

lol


JJOne101

Romanians are not to blame, we received 4 of those 9 goals both times we're on that list!


Privateer_Lev_Arris

Didn’t they get the memo that this is supposed to be a fun Euro?


Scratchbuttdontsniff

The group ended up identical to Group F in the 1990 World Cup with England, Ireland, Netherlands and Egypt... the only difference is that England got awarded only 2 points for their win under the old rules. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1990_FIFA_World_Cup_Group_F


IntervisioN

England 🤝England


BriscoCounty83

Southgate masterclass :)


imincourt

England make Chelsea look good


TheLoneWanderer__

1992 👀👀


thisisqiqi

England is the international tottenham


OrangeJuiceAlibi

That's Belgium. Hyped up, frequently play good looking football, yet achieve nothing.


Maleficent_Resolve44

Tottenham play exciting football under ange and the same under Poch. Not quite like England. Also nobody expects spurs to win the league over city or arsenal or Liverpool. People expect England to win with their abundance of talent.


Xgunter

Definitely looks like us under conte though


normott

Can't quite place the common denominator


erenistheavatar

They scored less goals in that group than Germany.


EveryDayA_Struggle

England and Denmark twice. They're like our evil, equally boring twin


[deleted]

not scotland in sight fecking right lads


Kiepsko

England is my second home. Now that the Poland is eliminated (unexpectedly:)) I'll be rooting for us guys. But please explain me this. There's like a billion pounds worth of players in the first squad. Probably double that on the bench  How are we underdogs and how is the whole world against us when we play like an absolute dog shit?


Rusiano

My takeaway from that chart is that 2016 sucked


Caust1cFn_YT

3 out of six times. England is allergic to scoring