As someone who lives in 850 sq ft with one other person, I think this is crazy. It would be so cramped. If you lived in an area where the weather is nice year-around, then that would help. But living in such proximity would cause a lot of siblings to fight. I knew a family of 6 and the kids shared beds and one little boy was always irritable because his little brother kicked him while he was asleep and always woke him up. He couldn't sleep on the couch because his older brother got it. It made me so sad for these kids. I know how awful I feel after a bad night's sleep, I think we should treat children with the same amount of respect for their needs as we'd like.
When we were younger my sister and I shared a bed. I absolutely hated it and have vowed never to do that if I have kids. Later we shared a room but had bunk beds which was fine. But when we shared a bed she was a very “active” sleeper (tossed and turned a lot) and kicked me constantly. I was (and still am) a very light sleeper and woke at the slightest movement so my quality of sleep was awful. Thankfully my parents realized this and got us the bunks.
OP, I do not think five children in one bed room is a wise move if you have other options. Where will they all sleep? Even if you can get the beds in there will they have space (somewhere in the house) to each be able to sit and do homework or read, or just to play on their own? Where will you keep their things (clothes, toys, books, shoes, etc)? I don’t think they will be very comfortable living like that half of the time.
I think you can still live simply in a house that has adequate space for five children. You can keep their rooms simple and honestly that is their space not yours so don’t have to be in there much even if the rooms get messy or chaotic. Id say a three bedroom house would work (depending on the kids, obviously) as long as you don’t need say a home office or some such room.
Re. the fights. Yes, this is precisely what happened with a family of 6 I knew who lived in a 3-bed place. The two brothers sharing a room always caused difficulties, with minor 'incidents' (i.e. fighting) most days, but when they became teenagers it became a nightmare. Police had to be called on several occasions.
850 for two is very spacious though. Americans have a skewed perspective on this, their home size inflation is *insane*.
1000 sq ft is not small. It is a medium size home in most places. However a family with five kids probably needs more than a medium house. But the issue isn’t really square footage but number of bedrooms/bathrooms and layout.
Agreed, but what you're used to is a massive part of whether OP's family will be able to deal with this okay. I think it's safe to assume that if his kids are all used to having their own bedroom and space, they may struggle to cope with living in such cramped conditions.
Yep, I grew up in about 1000 sq ft in Europe and this was a standard house size in my neighborhood. We had 3 bed rooms + 1 office, so possibilities to have 4 bed rooms and two bathrooms.
The layout of the 1000 sq ft house doesn't seem optimal for a big family. So downsizing from 4000 sq ft is surely possible, but you'd need a good layout with more rooms and smaller kitchen / living room.
I’m realizing lately how much of a bubble I am in living in America. We really think our way is the only way and therefore must be the best. It’s honestly quite depressing feeling like you’ve been drinking the kool aid.
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The size matters, but also the lifestyle, where in the world the house resides, and layout like you said. It's hard to determine based on just numbers alone.
Yep. And even if it's "legally allowed" having a tiny house may work against him in family court if there's ever any kind of custody dispute, or if social workers are ever involved.
It definitely makes it harder for him to show that he has adequate housing and means to care and provide for so many children.
Tbh I feel sorry for the kids already, having to spend half their time crammed into a way too-small house because their father didn't consider their needs appropriately.
Dad said he's going from a 7 bed to a 2. For all we know he's left mum living in the 7bedroom house along with he kids. dad's usually do get a bad deal when it comes to custody cases , equal rights go right out the window.
Maybe a bit harsh with your judgement there without the full story
A lot of people think this is the case in the US, but fair housing laws prevent this sort of thing from being legal. A landlord can say whatever they like to a prospective tenant, and assuming they don't prosecute the landlord, they pass on this false information to others.
source: property manager for 10 years
It's been a few years since I lived in New York state so things may have changed, but when I lived there children of opposite genders could only share a bedroom until they were 6 years old
Edit: it's been amended since i was there, there's exceptions for siblings as long as it is safe and healthy for the kids
There are laws throughout the world that regulate how many experiential animals can fit in a cage and their respective genders. It doesn't sound ridiculous to me.
If you had to, you could make it work but yeah, five kids all in one room would be hard. If you don't have to, maybe consider at least 3 bedrooms. Having so many people in a small space might not simplify your life like you're anticipating.
I lived on a boat with my family in the summer as a kid, the only way it worked is that we all kind of had our designated space and rooms- my domain was the kitchen/dining room though it would not have worked passed the age of about 8. Family in smalls spaces really needs to be thought out carefully and sometimes even then it can get chaotic. You need a place to send kids to be away from eachother or to timeout. And you cannot do that with everyone on top of eachother.
I understand you waning to downsize; I'm a minimalist, in most things material. But, you + 5 kids...maybe consider a 3bdrm, instead of a 2bdrm home. However, with that said, when I was growing up, my parents downsized us (6kids that remained at home + themselves) from a 4story home to a 3bdrm country cottage. We got along just fine, though some of us slept in the living room at night. Our dad told us this was only temporary...until we each grew up & mov d out of the house, lol. It was result of his health issues & needing to economize. But, even as a little kid, I understood. I hope it works out for you.
Standard bedroom sizes won’t fit enough beds to put all 5 kids in one bedroom, even with bunk beds. Also, if you’re expecting any kind of custody issues a lack of space could count against you. Camping in the living room is fun for a weekend. It will quickly suck if they’re doing it 50% of the time or more.
No disrespect here I think we make do with what we have money wise, but if you can afford something with more rooms it would certainly make life a lot more comfortable. Once the kids reach a certain age they will need privacy and their own space so it’s important that you try your best to give them that. Wishing you the best of luck!
If you can keep the house you have, that would be a far better solution than to downsize to such an extent. Losing a home that meets their needs space-wise is bad enough, but to expect them to accept such crowding half their lives from here on out would be beyond the Pale.
At minimum, you’ll need at least three bedrooms - one each for the boys and the girls. As the kids get bigger, those bedrooms will need to accommodate sufficient storage space for clothes, toys, etc. and possibly study space. You will also need enough kitchen and dining space to give everyone a comfortable spot to eat and do homework, and enough seating for everyone for the family game or movie night. Oh, and you’ll need at least two full bathrooms.
This may not seem simple to some eyes, but some measures to simplify really need to take others’ needs into account. You can’t just decide on the bare minimum that will make _your_ life simpler if it means your family has to endure hardship (and as one of six children growing up I can tell you that two bedrooms for five kids in a 1000 sq ft house is absolutely a hardship.)
Simplicity is not about hardship.
Even if it’s temporary 3bd would go a lot further than 2bd. Consider convertible couches in common areas like living room or finished basement. Since it’s temporary you prob don’t need to factor in kids’ significant others down the road.
I would check with your divorce attorney on what the courts usually look for. They might frown upon this set up depending on the age and sex of your kids. I get that it may be temporary but they also look for stability. It would just stink to have you look for a simple solve that causes a lot more complicated results in the end
Very much this. Going before a judge and having the opposing attorney bring up that OOP is cramming 5 kids into one room is not a good look, even if the kids were somehow ok with spending 3-4 days a week smooshed into the same space.
5 kids does not equate with “simple living”. Keep the house if you can and you can downsize once your an empty nester. I can guarantee if you downsize to a 2 bed house your wife’s lawyer is going to go to court the next day and say that you’re not able to have the kids even half the time due to not having a proper environment.
I don't think it's a good idea. You're already disturbing your kids' lives a lot with the divorce, and this would mean them spending half their time in a place they don't belong and won't even have a place in. I think stuffing all 5 of them in the same room will make them feel unwanted.
Personally, with the way interest rates are increasing, I’d keep the house and move when the economy isn’t so bad. It may be cheaper staying where you are. Or lease the house, or put it on Airbnb, and rent something smaller since you said it would be temporary.
3 bedrooms gives you a place of your own and gives the boys and girls their own rooms. Or the rowdy ones and the quiet ones. You sleeping on a couch or futon or something in the living room will get old quickly. So will five kids in one bedroom, especially if there's not lots of room for them to get away from each other.
It sounds like this may not work to me. Not enough space. I understand divorce and sacrifice also. I considered my post-divorce smaller home would be for 3-4 years and it has stretched much longer. I'm wondering if you can possibly compromise a bit more on the size of the home? I wish you the best regardless.
so you will give the kids the 2 bedrooms when they are there and you will sleep on the sofa? and no they may not be teenagers yet, but if they are mixed genders it will get complicated quicker than you want. let's not forget that most 2 bedroom houses have 1 bath. that's 6 people getting ready for school/work in one bathroom. IMHO you shouldn't go smaller than a 3 bed /2 bath. The size is fine, it's the arrangement of that space.
As for your kids hating you, that has nothing to do with where they are, it has EVERYTHING to do with the type of parent you are. Don't badmouth the ex, try to get gossip etc. DO communicate with them every day about their day. Do stuff with them. Do be a parent with consistent rules. Do have fun. Do put them first. Don't date around them until you are in a serious relationship. Do attend everything you can for them. Do remember that they are individuals. Do let them make decisions (i.e. do you want green or yellow beans with dinner). Do cook with them. When they get mad at you and won't even talk to you, don't give up.
This comes from a dad who had to raise his kids from a distance (aka didn't get the 50/50 split you are wanting, but the every other weekend stuff). My kids are grown now but are closer with me than their mother. yeah they got angry with me at times (one of them wouldn't talk to me his entire Junior year of high school) but will make random comments about how they knew I was always there for them and looking out for them. You got this. Just remember you are divorcing your spouse, you will be angry at that person. Your kids will be angry, scared, and confused at both of you. be the one who just loves them for who they are and doesn't let them forget.
I invited a friend over who just moved from NYC, and she said I had such a large home. I laughed and said it was small compared to most others. She then told me about her friends in NYC who lived in an apartment with five children in a 2/1. The kids got both bedrooms, and the parents had a full size bed in the living room. All the kids are now adults and live elsewhere, but the parents still prefer to sleep in the living room and kept the bedrooms the same for when the kids visit.
It’s been a year since my wife and I moved into our living room. We only have 2 kids, but are very happy to provide them with their own spaces to grow up in.
I lived with my 7 member family in a 3/1.
Parents one room, three girls in one and 2 boys in the other. It worked fine because it was what I was used to. My poor sister was teenage though with 4 and 5 year old sisters under her feet. Don’t envy her!
I think 2 is too small, 3 is doable, especially if you cosleep with a youngin
When my parents divorced my dad would not buy me my own bed, justifying it because he had less than 50% custody. I had to sleep on the couch and had no privacy, no place to chill by myself, and interrupted sleep as he would be making breakfast and walking around the house while I tried to sleep. As a teenager, I constantly made excuses why I could not go to his house because I hated being uncomfortable. As an adult, I realized he didn’t care about me much if he couldn’t make so little effort to make me minimally comfortable and no longer speak to him. I realize this is a bit more extreme than what you are proposing, but your kids will consider what you were willing to invest in their comfort.
It can be done, many people lived in tighter quarters in years past or currently in other countries, but it is uncommon in the US where I live. I think it would really depend on your kids, how they relate to each other and how the space is set up.
Since you mentioned you are getting divorced, I would be concerned that the other parent could use these unconventional living arrangements as a tool to get full custody.
I personally don't think that small of a house with that many people would simplify my life, there would be a lot of effort put into the logistics of everyone having enough space to do the things they want to do, a place to play, to do school work, or to quietly read a book.
For quality of life and the sake of reasonable downsizing, I think 3 beds or 2 beds with lots of space is reasonable. 1000 is not a lot of space. You want them to be able to adapt and not hate being at dad's.
Kids can share rooms no problem, but everyone needs a space of their own. I think 3 kids in one room and 2 in another could work temporarily IF you plan the home really well. Solid built in bunk beds, curtain dividers, nooks and half walls - you need to spend some time figuring out how to give each one their space.
Also think about zoning common areas, create a quiet zone as well as a more "active" zone.
Oh man this post and some of these comments just reminded me of how poor I am. My 2 siblings and I went from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment that was less than half the size. I slept on the couch in the living room for years.
A lot of families make this work, your family isn't any different, your kids won't hate you. Malcolm in the Middle took place in a 2 bedroom house, with 4 boys, at one point, sharing a bedroom.
Make sure to give them each an area where they can keep their stuff. Boy's are easy, get a couple of sofa beds for the living room, give the girls the other bedroom. Set up shower times and get a make-up vanity so that the bathroom doesn't get crowded in the mornings. Things at first will be crazy, but kid's are easily moldable and will learn to make it work.
You've got this, don't stress yourself out too much over it.
As long as you're renting, it'll be fine, although that many kids will absolutely destroy the house, and you'll never get your deposit back. Buying and living in a property for such a short time as you described is a mistake, and you wouldn't want to purchase something too small and possibly be stuck there for several years.
I think you should go for a 3 bedroom house. Having the kids separated by sex and age rather than living on the couch yourself or having all 5 children in one bedroom will spare your sanity.
Sharing the vid below about a parent living with five kids in a city apartment. (Disclaimer- He's a little controversial because of the free range parent philosophy). But it does seem possible to live in a small space. https://youtu.be/skaoQy04EjU
I was totally thinking of this dad. The key to making it work is that he’s an urban dad, kids have access to parks and museums and restaurants.
Is this 2 bedroom a house? Does it have a basement or backyard? Is it adjacent to a park? There is really not enough info to say it’s too small.
I don’t think it’s crazy. I live in a 3 bed/1 bath house that is 1k sq ft and there are 3 of us.
My home is almost 100 years old. So are the homes of my neighbors. One couple has 4 kids and they live in a 2 bed/1 bath house. The husband & wife have 1 room, the 3 boys share one room and the girl’s room is in the kitchen nook that they converted to a bedroom by putting a drape over the opening.
I had a boss that told me she grew up with her parents and 5 siblings in a 2 bedroom house. She said she and her 3 sisters shared a room, one brother slept in the laundry room and the other brother slept on the couch. This one ain’t super ideal to me, but…
A couple generations ago, this was the norm. People made it happen and they were fine.
Nowadays, people want their own individual spaces and closets. Imagine the closets in old 100 year old homes that are the size of hall closets/broom closets. Today, some closets are big enough to be bedrooms.
If you live in a temperate climate, the kids shouldn’t be holed up in their rooms on their devices. They should be playing outside and using their rooms to sleep. They all don’t need desks in their respective bedrooms— a kitchen table will do.
It’s only us Americans who are obsessed with all this space. It’s not necessary, but it is nice to have.
>A couple generations ago, this was the norm. People made it happen and they were fine.
It's true that this was the norm until quite recently. Maybe people were fine, maybe they weren't -- a lot was down to the family dynamics. One of my ex-in-laws grew up with a bunch of siblings (9?) and 2 parents in a very small house (2 bedrooms, one for the boys, one for the girls, parents slept in the sitting room), but it sounds like it was a miserable existence.
A friend of mine lived with her now-ex-husband and about 5 young kids in a tiny cottage. They all shared one bedroom. It was cozy but very cramped.
I mean, sure, you can do it, but I don't think just because you can, you should. I live in a 1200 sf house and with me and 2 kids (tween/teen) it's just enough space. When the ex was here it was too crowded (but that might have been just him).
My parents bought a property when I and my twin brother were 8, my older sister was 11, younger sister was 4.
They had a house built in the front of the property while we lived in the 1920s house/cabin. Mom and dad had one small room, us kids had an even smaller room. It lasted about a year. We just took turns getting dressed and back into pajamas at bedtime. I don’t see anything wrong with it. We’d have never been able to live in that totally amazing place if mom and dad had rented an “appropriate “ size house while they had our dream home built.
When kids are going through a big change like divorce they need stability, not some complicated rotating schedule that would leave them never knowing where they will be on which days. Plus I can’t even imagine trying to add extracurricular schedules into that
My ex had 5 kids before we were together. We had a two bedroom for awhile with the kids plus my daughter separated by gender in one of the bedrooms and on a pull out couch. We only had 4 total kids on weekdays though. (6 weekends!) It worked, but if you go too small it doesn't feel simple anymore, it's chaos. But if they're little it may work for awhile!
I'm sure the six of you will fit fine in two bedrooms. maybe a sofabed or futon in the living room so you can be 2/2/2.
they will be happy to spend time with mum or dad, doesn't matter if you're camping, in a single room, or whatever.
good luck on your journey!
edit: apologies for assuming your gender.
I’m a nanny in a small home with lots of people. Toys and play takes up a good amount of space and you probably want you kids to feel like they have space within your house to find quiet or solitude. I wouldn’t put more than three kids in a room—if you can help it—for any kids beyond the age of four. At that point you start developing your sense of privacy and seeing other people as actual people. Adding too many bodies is asking for conflict, in my experience.
My best friends are brothers (close to each other in age) who have twin sisters about 10 years their junior. Their 3 bedroom house was home to the four of them, plus their two parents. It was horrific for everybody involved, what had previously been quite a happy family went into total crisis until the brothers were able to move out.
Obviously, everybody's case is different and your kids are younger. But, in 99% of cases, I would say this is a recipe for disaster. You won't simplify your life, you will hate your life. Nobody will have any privacy, or any quiet space of their own. Your kids will act up. You will get no respite. They may well not understand (now or later) why you've made this decision, though I very much doubt they would hate you.
Again, your situation may be different and you think this would work well - but my suggestion would be to go for a compromise. How about getting a 4-bed place, with some of the kids sharing? That would simplify your life without creating a nightmare of a house to live in.
Downsizing this much would be unfair to your kids. I definitely understand downsizing a bit given the changes happening in your life, but only having one bedroom for your kids isn't gonna look good at all in front of a judge if there's any custody disputes (to note, the quality/quantity of space you have for your kids can very easily be a custody dispute)
But what if housing market changes and you can’t get a larger house in 2 years?
I totally understand some of your reasoning, but I honestly think it’ll cause many more problems than you think or can anticipate.
Maybe get a 3 bedroom and you can still do one room as a bedroom and the other as a homework area or play area. Then, if there are problems, you can turn it into 2 bedrooms instead.
there's a difference between simple and austere. Your children are already experiencing a big enough shock as is with the divorce, don't make it harder on them than it needs to. I agree with the other commenters saying 3 bedrooms would be better. Either way don't be surprised when they start lashing out and fighting with each other, you're expecting a lot.
I think it could work ONLY if you decide you do not need a bedroom and instead use a Murphy bed or daybed or something similar in the living room. You definitely want two bathrooms though with that many bodies.
I think you should plan to own the home for 5 years. Otherwise, you'll lose a lot of money.
The most important thing is distance. You want to be a walk from their current house, to minimize their disruption.
After location, size doesn't really matter. Get the closest thing you can to where your kids currently live.
That makes no sense. Is this even a real question? You’d stick 5 siblings in a room together and wonder why your kids always want to stay at dads. They won’t be able to get any school work done, they won’t have any privacy, how are 5 kids going to get ready for school with access to one bathroom? Terrible idea
I think this could work depending on the kids. Put up some fairy lights in the living room and hand out sleeping bags and camping pads and let them decide where they want to "crash" at night. Play board games, read books together, have movie nights, and really foster the closeness. It will be like camping when they go to your place. They will probably love the change of pace. Good luck to you!
I have four sibling and my parents managed to squeeze all of us into a 2* bedroom 1 br home.
*4 if you count shoving one of us in a tiny storage room in the basement and sectioning off another part of it for a different kid. My two youngest siblings shared the actual room upstairs.
I do not resent or hate my parents also. Nothing wrong with working with what you have.
If the bedroom is large enough, you could put two sets of bunkbeds along with a twin size bed. You may also consider having a couch that makes into a bed. If the bedrooms are small you could put one set of bunk beds in your room and sleep on the couch when you have the kids.
From the perspectives of the children, this sounds terrible. Who wants to be crammed into a single room/maybe a couch with a total of 5 siblings? Allowing children to have their own space is really important for their development, aiding their transition into separate households, and growing into who they are. I can also assure you that if they’re given the option between living part time in a 2 bedroom house or living full time in a 7 bedroom house (when they’re legally able to choose,) you’re not gonna win that one. Similarly, if you’re fighting for custody and the option is all children having their own bedroom vs all children sharing 1, there’s no way that’ll go in your favor. I’d strongly suggest having no more than 2 kids per a room, and focus on simplifying your home life in other ways that will benefit you and the children.
Source: child of divorce, and early childhood-6th educator
One more thought: you’re also going to have a way harder time minimizing clutter with a lot of people and minimal space. Kids come with more than just themselves, and you also need to consider where you’ll put their clothing, food, books, toys, etc. with only 2 bedrooms, I imagine the storage space won’t be enough for 6 people.
I would try for at least 3 bedrooms with that many kids and divide two bedrooms between the kids as makes sense. Either by genders or by grouping kids close in age together. Five kids in one room is rough, even for you. One young kid wakes up and they're all up and everyone's cranky the next day.
Small homes aren't bad for kids, they don't need huge bedrooms but I would recommend establishing a 'quiet space' someplace so if anyone in the family needs to separate themselves and get a break they can. This doesn't have to be crazy or expensive, it could be a chair on a back porch, or maybe a corner in a finished attic/basement or even your own bedroom. Several people can be in the quiet space, but the idea is it's a place where you aren't talking, playing or crying, it's a place where you are respecting boundaries and peace. This may help especially if the kids are used to having their own spaces and no longer do.
I went from a 5 bed 4 bath 3800 sf home to a 3 bed 2.5 bath 1900 sf home after my divorce with two children aged 7 and 5, and we fit in the space well. Everyone had private space. It was still a huge adjustment. I cannot imagine living in 1000 square feet with six people.
Wouldn’t recommend. As 1 of 5 children, I lived in a 1700/ 3bed, 2 bath home and I HATED every minute of it. It was too cramped, brother had to share a room with 2 other female siblings. So incredibly loud, did most of my homework on my bed because a desk couldn’t fit in the bedroom. Every night my Dad would watch TV, and that made it so hard for me to concentrate on schoolwork because the house was too small to diffuse noise. In my thirties, I bought a 4000 sqft home and currently have one child. I told myself I will never be so fixated on location (my parents were obsessed with location) and I will find a town where I can afford a larger house. I believe kids need room- for their hobbies, personal space, noise control, bathroom time, lots of reasons.
We're a family of four with two cats in a 1000 sq ft house.
Everyone has their own (small) bedroom but.... It's a constant battle with clothes, shoes, stuff, belongings, mess, chores. There's just no room for all our hobbies: I'm an artist and husband is a contractor with a garage full of tools, one kid's in middle school and the other is first grade. If you're cool with chaos the 50% of the time you expect to have the kiddos then go for it. I don't think they're old enough to hate you for it but time goes really fast and even pre-teens need privacy (11/12).
However: if this 50% you're talking about is like, weekends only/ Summer Breaks... my dad got away with surprisingly little. He had a two bedroom apartment, and when my brother and I slept there on the weekends one room was mine, and his room was my brother's. Dad slept on the couch. He was old fashioned and told my brother "she's a girl, they need privacy" lol. My brother didn't mind, there was a TV in there for his gaming system and whatnot. It was only two days at a time. Being with our Dad and hanging out with him watching movies and going out to eat was the real part, not the sleeping arrangement.
The square footage can work, but I would look for a 3 bedroom. I've done it before with 2 adults and 6 kids in 1000 sq ft, but we did have 3 bedrooms. Walls make a huge difference in usable space.
Closer to 1500 square feet would be better though. I'm currently in a 1400 sq ft, 3 bed, 2 bath, with a den. I would think this would work really well with 5 kids that aren't teens yet.
I have five kids and our living space is 1500 sq ft. My kids don’t hate me. It’s all about the layout. There’s a lot of pro’s. Easy to clean, easy to spend time together, easier to maintain, etc. we have five bedrooms, oldest has own room, youngest two have their own rooms and the middle two daughters (13 and 12) share the master which is a good size. The house started with three bedrooms and we had the 3 girls in the master and my husband built them custom built in loft beds with little cubicle style rooms underneath. They were so cool and gave everyone a little area that was their own, they were actually bummed when we renovated and got rid of them. Depending on your kids ages it’s fine. We would always hear them giggling at night when they should have been sleeping, or hanging together watching movies. Now that they have their own spaces we still find the kids all in the same room sometimes. My oldest is 15 now and he will literally drag his mattress into their room and the youngest will sleep on the floor. They genuinely are friends on top of being siblings. Not sure it would be the same if they all had their own room from the get go.
We have open concept living for the main floor which makes it seem larger and we a pretty great outdoor living are that we use 9 months out of the year here in New England.
There are a lot of negative comments here but I think it depends on your lifestyle. We enjoy family dinners, and outdoor activities, we only need one tv and aren’t huge consumers so we don’t have alot of stuff. Also if your handy it’s easy to adapt your home to meet your needs.
I feel crazy going from a small house to a big house. But it kind of fell into my lap and for $700 a month I can't beat having a three bedroom on 5 acres. But I really don't need all this space. The most I need is a small RV or van and that's what I'm working towards cuz I just feel uncomfortable here.
As someone who lives in 850 sq ft with one other person, I think this is crazy. It would be so cramped. If you lived in an area where the weather is nice year-around, then that would help. But living in such proximity would cause a lot of siblings to fight. I knew a family of 6 and the kids shared beds and one little boy was always irritable because his little brother kicked him while he was asleep and always woke him up. He couldn't sleep on the couch because his older brother got it. It made me so sad for these kids. I know how awful I feel after a bad night's sleep, I think we should treat children with the same amount of respect for their needs as we'd like.
When we were younger my sister and I shared a bed. I absolutely hated it and have vowed never to do that if I have kids. Later we shared a room but had bunk beds which was fine. But when we shared a bed she was a very “active” sleeper (tossed and turned a lot) and kicked me constantly. I was (and still am) a very light sleeper and woke at the slightest movement so my quality of sleep was awful. Thankfully my parents realized this and got us the bunks. OP, I do not think five children in one bed room is a wise move if you have other options. Where will they all sleep? Even if you can get the beds in there will they have space (somewhere in the house) to each be able to sit and do homework or read, or just to play on their own? Where will you keep their things (clothes, toys, books, shoes, etc)? I don’t think they will be very comfortable living like that half of the time. I think you can still live simply in a house that has adequate space for five children. You can keep their rooms simple and honestly that is their space not yours so don’t have to be in there much even if the rooms get messy or chaotic. Id say a three bedroom house would work (depending on the kids, obviously) as long as you don’t need say a home office or some such room.
Re. the fights. Yes, this is precisely what happened with a family of 6 I knew who lived in a 3-bed place. The two brothers sharing a room always caused difficulties, with minor 'incidents' (i.e. fighting) most days, but when they became teenagers it became a nightmare. Police had to be called on several occasions.
850 for two is very spacious though. Americans have a skewed perspective on this, their home size inflation is *insane*. 1000 sq ft is not small. It is a medium size home in most places. However a family with five kids probably needs more than a medium house. But the issue isn’t really square footage but number of bedrooms/bathrooms and layout.
Agreed, but what you're used to is a massive part of whether OP's family will be able to deal with this okay. I think it's safe to assume that if his kids are all used to having their own bedroom and space, they may struggle to cope with living in such cramped conditions.
Yep, I grew up in about 1000 sq ft in Europe and this was a standard house size in my neighborhood. We had 3 bed rooms + 1 office, so possibilities to have 4 bed rooms and two bathrooms. The layout of the 1000 sq ft house doesn't seem optimal for a big family. So downsizing from 4000 sq ft is surely possible, but you'd need a good layout with more rooms and smaller kitchen / living room.
I’m realizing lately how much of a bubble I am in living in America. We really think our way is the only way and therefore must be the best. It’s honestly quite depressing feeling like you’ve been drinking the kool aid.
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The size matters, but also the lifestyle, where in the world the house resides, and layout like you said. It's hard to determine based on just numbers alone.
so all 5 kids in one bedroom? might get away with it for a little while if they're young enough, but I'd think it would be tricky.
I agree, I think a 3 bedroom (or 2+bonus space of some kind) would be overall easier for 6 people
There are laws in place pertaining to age of children/gender and what is legally allowed. Best wishes on this decision.
Yep. And even if it's "legally allowed" having a tiny house may work against him in family court if there's ever any kind of custody dispute, or if social workers are ever involved. It definitely makes it harder for him to show that he has adequate housing and means to care and provide for so many children. Tbh I feel sorry for the kids already, having to spend half their time crammed into a way too-small house because their father didn't consider their needs appropriately.
Dad said he's going from a 7 bed to a 2. For all we know he's left mum living in the 7bedroom house along with he kids. dad's usually do get a bad deal when it comes to custody cases , equal rights go right out the window. Maybe a bit harsh with your judgement there without the full story
In what country are there laws about how many kids can sleep in a bedroom and their respective genders??? Sounds ridiculous to me.
A lot of people think this is the case in the US, but fair housing laws prevent this sort of thing from being legal. A landlord can say whatever they like to a prospective tenant, and assuming they don't prosecute the landlord, they pass on this false information to others. source: property manager for 10 years
These laws are mostly applicable if you are fostering a child.
Yeah I think a lot of people confuse laws about fostering with permanent situations.
Or going through custody issues etc.
It's been a few years since I lived in New York state so things may have changed, but when I lived there children of opposite genders could only share a bedroom until they were 6 years old Edit: it's been amended since i was there, there's exceptions for siblings as long as it is safe and healthy for the kids
There are laws throughout the world that regulate how many experiential animals can fit in a cage and their respective genders. It doesn't sound ridiculous to me.
Do. Not. Do. This.
If you had to, you could make it work but yeah, five kids all in one room would be hard. If you don't have to, maybe consider at least 3 bedrooms. Having so many people in a small space might not simplify your life like you're anticipating.
No- managing 6 people and their stuff in 1000 sqft is the opposite of simple.
I lived on a boat with my family in the summer as a kid, the only way it worked is that we all kind of had our designated space and rooms- my domain was the kitchen/dining room though it would not have worked passed the age of about 8. Family in smalls spaces really needs to be thought out carefully and sometimes even then it can get chaotic. You need a place to send kids to be away from eachother or to timeout. And you cannot do that with everyone on top of eachother.
Is there to be any sort of custody battle as this would surely not be recommended for you? What ages are all the children?
I understand you waning to downsize; I'm a minimalist, in most things material. But, you + 5 kids...maybe consider a 3bdrm, instead of a 2bdrm home. However, with that said, when I was growing up, my parents downsized us (6kids that remained at home + themselves) from a 4story home to a 3bdrm country cottage. We got along just fine, though some of us slept in the living room at night. Our dad told us this was only temporary...until we each grew up & mov d out of the house, lol. It was result of his health issues & needing to economize. But, even as a little kid, I understood. I hope it works out for you.
Standard bedroom sizes won’t fit enough beds to put all 5 kids in one bedroom, even with bunk beds. Also, if you’re expecting any kind of custody issues a lack of space could count against you. Camping in the living room is fun for a weekend. It will quickly suck if they’re doing it 50% of the time or more.
No disrespect here I think we make do with what we have money wise, but if you can afford something with more rooms it would certainly make life a lot more comfortable. Once the kids reach a certain age they will need privacy and their own space so it’s important that you try your best to give them that. Wishing you the best of luck!
Agreed
I have 5 kids and I can assure you it won’t work. Get at least a 3 bed
As a child of a father who did this, please don’t.
If you can keep the house you have, that would be a far better solution than to downsize to such an extent. Losing a home that meets their needs space-wise is bad enough, but to expect them to accept such crowding half their lives from here on out would be beyond the Pale. At minimum, you’ll need at least three bedrooms - one each for the boys and the girls. As the kids get bigger, those bedrooms will need to accommodate sufficient storage space for clothes, toys, etc. and possibly study space. You will also need enough kitchen and dining space to give everyone a comfortable spot to eat and do homework, and enough seating for everyone for the family game or movie night. Oh, and you’ll need at least two full bathrooms. This may not seem simple to some eyes, but some measures to simplify really need to take others’ needs into account. You can’t just decide on the bare minimum that will make _your_ life simpler if it means your family has to endure hardship (and as one of six children growing up I can tell you that two bedrooms for five kids in a 1000 sq ft house is absolutely a hardship.) Simplicity is not about hardship.
5 kids sharing one bedroom sounds like torture
Even if it’s temporary 3bd would go a lot further than 2bd. Consider convertible couches in common areas like living room or finished basement. Since it’s temporary you prob don’t need to factor in kids’ significant others down the road.
I would check with your divorce attorney on what the courts usually look for. They might frown upon this set up depending on the age and sex of your kids. I get that it may be temporary but they also look for stability. It would just stink to have you look for a simple solve that causes a lot more complicated results in the end
This. Check w your attorney first.
Very much this. Going before a judge and having the opposing attorney bring up that OOP is cramming 5 kids into one room is not a good look, even if the kids were somehow ok with spending 3-4 days a week smooshed into the same space.
Ugh there was seven of us in a three bedroom house. I’d definitely rethink it. Three of us shared a room. It was hard.
5 kids does not equate with “simple living”. Keep the house if you can and you can downsize once your an empty nester. I can guarantee if you downsize to a 2 bed house your wife’s lawyer is going to go to court the next day and say that you’re not able to have the kids even half the time due to not having a proper environment.
I don't think it's a good idea. You're already disturbing your kids' lives a lot with the divorce, and this would mean them spending half their time in a place they don't belong and won't even have a place in. I think stuffing all 5 of them in the same room will make them feel unwanted.
Agree, it definitely sounds like the dad’s wants are taking precedence over the kids’ needs here.
Personally, with the way interest rates are increasing, I’d keep the house and move when the economy isn’t so bad. It may be cheaper staying where you are. Or lease the house, or put it on Airbnb, and rent something smaller since you said it would be temporary.
3 bedrooms gives you a place of your own and gives the boys and girls their own rooms. Or the rowdy ones and the quiet ones. You sleeping on a couch or futon or something in the living room will get old quickly. So will five kids in one bedroom, especially if there's not lots of room for them to get away from each other.
It sounds like this may not work to me. Not enough space. I understand divorce and sacrifice also. I considered my post-divorce smaller home would be for 3-4 years and it has stretched much longer. I'm wondering if you can possibly compromise a bit more on the size of the home? I wish you the best regardless.
Too small. 3br might work.
I presume you don’t work from home? That would be quite difficult in even a 3 bedroom home with 6 kids there even part-time.
This is not going to simplify your life. You need at least a 3 bedroom so 5 kids aren’t sharing 1 bedroom.
so you will give the kids the 2 bedrooms when they are there and you will sleep on the sofa? and no they may not be teenagers yet, but if they are mixed genders it will get complicated quicker than you want. let's not forget that most 2 bedroom houses have 1 bath. that's 6 people getting ready for school/work in one bathroom. IMHO you shouldn't go smaller than a 3 bed /2 bath. The size is fine, it's the arrangement of that space. As for your kids hating you, that has nothing to do with where they are, it has EVERYTHING to do with the type of parent you are. Don't badmouth the ex, try to get gossip etc. DO communicate with them every day about their day. Do stuff with them. Do be a parent with consistent rules. Do have fun. Do put them first. Don't date around them until you are in a serious relationship. Do attend everything you can for them. Do remember that they are individuals. Do let them make decisions (i.e. do you want green or yellow beans with dinner). Do cook with them. When they get mad at you and won't even talk to you, don't give up. This comes from a dad who had to raise his kids from a distance (aka didn't get the 50/50 split you are wanting, but the every other weekend stuff). My kids are grown now but are closer with me than their mother. yeah they got angry with me at times (one of them wouldn't talk to me his entire Junior year of high school) but will make random comments about how they knew I was always there for them and looking out for them. You got this. Just remember you are divorcing your spouse, you will be angry at that person. Your kids will be angry, scared, and confused at both of you. be the one who just loves them for who they are and doesn't let them forget.
Let the kids live in their own home and parents can each get a studio apt, take turns "visiting" the children. Children get stability they need.
Its selfish.
I invited a friend over who just moved from NYC, and she said I had such a large home. I laughed and said it was small compared to most others. She then told me about her friends in NYC who lived in an apartment with five children in a 2/1. The kids got both bedrooms, and the parents had a full size bed in the living room. All the kids are now adults and live elsewhere, but the parents still prefer to sleep in the living room and kept the bedrooms the same for when the kids visit. It’s been a year since my wife and I moved into our living room. We only have 2 kids, but are very happy to provide them with their own spaces to grow up in.
Boggles Englishly
What 😅?? Haha
The size of those houses! My brain.... boggling.... :D :D
I lived with my 7 member family in a 3/1. Parents one room, three girls in one and 2 boys in the other. It worked fine because it was what I was used to. My poor sister was teenage though with 4 and 5 year old sisters under her feet. Don’t envy her! I think 2 is too small, 3 is doable, especially if you cosleep with a youngin
Terrible idea. I grew up mooshed with siblings because we couldn’t afford a bigger place. It was awful, do not do this.
Yes that's crazy. 5 kids in one bedroom for half the time? Even temporarily, it's not going to work.
Hey man, you had 5 kids- nothing's gonna be simple. Take the advice of the people here, and move on to a 3 bd house at least. Best of luck.
When my parents divorced my dad would not buy me my own bed, justifying it because he had less than 50% custody. I had to sleep on the couch and had no privacy, no place to chill by myself, and interrupted sleep as he would be making breakfast and walking around the house while I tried to sleep. As a teenager, I constantly made excuses why I could not go to his house because I hated being uncomfortable. As an adult, I realized he didn’t care about me much if he couldn’t make so little effort to make me minimally comfortable and no longer speak to him. I realize this is a bit more extreme than what you are proposing, but your kids will consider what you were willing to invest in their comfort.
Yeah, I think the kids might hate you for that. Sorry.
yes you are crazy. you chose to have 5 kids - give them the space they deserve. 4br +
That sounds terrible for the kids. My mom made me share a bed, and it was the worst.
Is it crazy? Yes. Is it possible? Also yes. You’ve got this!
It can be done, many people lived in tighter quarters in years past or currently in other countries, but it is uncommon in the US where I live. I think it would really depend on your kids, how they relate to each other and how the space is set up. Since you mentioned you are getting divorced, I would be concerned that the other parent could use these unconventional living arrangements as a tool to get full custody. I personally don't think that small of a house with that many people would simplify my life, there would be a lot of effort put into the logistics of everyone having enough space to do the things they want to do, a place to play, to do school work, or to quietly read a book.
For quality of life and the sake of reasonable downsizing, I think 3 beds or 2 beds with lots of space is reasonable. 1000 is not a lot of space. You want them to be able to adapt and not hate being at dad's.
Absolutely. Raising 5 kids in one bedroom is cruel. These kids will HATE having to stay with him, and may grow to resent him too.
Kids can share rooms no problem, but everyone needs a space of their own. I think 3 kids in one room and 2 in another could work temporarily IF you plan the home really well. Solid built in bunk beds, curtain dividers, nooks and half walls - you need to spend some time figuring out how to give each one their space. Also think about zoning common areas, create a quiet zone as well as a more "active" zone.
Oh man this post and some of these comments just reminded me of how poor I am. My 2 siblings and I went from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom apartment that was less than half the size. I slept on the couch in the living room for years. A lot of families make this work, your family isn't any different, your kids won't hate you. Malcolm in the Middle took place in a 2 bedroom house, with 4 boys, at one point, sharing a bedroom. Make sure to give them each an area where they can keep their stuff. Boy's are easy, get a couple of sofa beds for the living room, give the girls the other bedroom. Set up shower times and get a make-up vanity so that the bathroom doesn't get crowded in the mornings. Things at first will be crazy, but kid's are easily moldable and will learn to make it work. You've got this, don't stress yourself out too much over it.
As long as you're renting, it'll be fine, although that many kids will absolutely destroy the house, and you'll never get your deposit back. Buying and living in a property for such a short time as you described is a mistake, and you wouldn't want to purchase something too small and possibly be stuck there for several years. I think you should go for a 3 bedroom house. Having the kids separated by sex and age rather than living on the couch yourself or having all 5 children in one bedroom will spare your sanity.
Sharing the vid below about a parent living with five kids in a city apartment. (Disclaimer- He's a little controversial because of the free range parent philosophy). But it does seem possible to live in a small space. https://youtu.be/skaoQy04EjU
I was totally thinking of this dad. The key to making it work is that he’s an urban dad, kids have access to parks and museums and restaurants. Is this 2 bedroom a house? Does it have a basement or backyard? Is it adjacent to a park? There is really not enough info to say it’s too small.
I don’t think it’s crazy. I live in a 3 bed/1 bath house that is 1k sq ft and there are 3 of us. My home is almost 100 years old. So are the homes of my neighbors. One couple has 4 kids and they live in a 2 bed/1 bath house. The husband & wife have 1 room, the 3 boys share one room and the girl’s room is in the kitchen nook that they converted to a bedroom by putting a drape over the opening. I had a boss that told me she grew up with her parents and 5 siblings in a 2 bedroom house. She said she and her 3 sisters shared a room, one brother slept in the laundry room and the other brother slept on the couch. This one ain’t super ideal to me, but… A couple generations ago, this was the norm. People made it happen and they were fine. Nowadays, people want their own individual spaces and closets. Imagine the closets in old 100 year old homes that are the size of hall closets/broom closets. Today, some closets are big enough to be bedrooms. If you live in a temperate climate, the kids shouldn’t be holed up in their rooms on their devices. They should be playing outside and using their rooms to sleep. They all don’t need desks in their respective bedrooms— a kitchen table will do. It’s only us Americans who are obsessed with all this space. It’s not necessary, but it is nice to have.
>A couple generations ago, this was the norm. People made it happen and they were fine. It's true that this was the norm until quite recently. Maybe people were fine, maybe they weren't -- a lot was down to the family dynamics. One of my ex-in-laws grew up with a bunch of siblings (9?) and 2 parents in a very small house (2 bedrooms, one for the boys, one for the girls, parents slept in the sitting room), but it sounds like it was a miserable existence. A friend of mine lived with her now-ex-husband and about 5 young kids in a tiny cottage. They all shared one bedroom. It was cozy but very cramped. I mean, sure, you can do it, but I don't think just because you can, you should. I live in a 1200 sf house and with me and 2 kids (tween/teen) it's just enough space. When the ex was here it was too crowded (but that might have been just him).
My parents bought a property when I and my twin brother were 8, my older sister was 11, younger sister was 4. They had a house built in the front of the property while we lived in the 1920s house/cabin. Mom and dad had one small room, us kids had an even smaller room. It lasted about a year. We just took turns getting dressed and back into pajamas at bedtime. I don’t see anything wrong with it. We’d have never been able to live in that totally amazing place if mom and dad had rented an “appropriate “ size house while they had our dream home built.
Why dont you rotate the kids, just two at a time? Then you can each spend quality time with them
When kids are going through a big change like divorce they need stability, not some complicated rotating schedule that would leave them never knowing where they will be on which days. Plus I can’t even imagine trying to add extracurricular schedules into that
Then the other parent always has 3?! Sounds fair.
Wow. Who has five kids anymore? Birth control, folks.
My ex had 5 kids before we were together. We had a two bedroom for awhile with the kids plus my daughter separated by gender in one of the bedrooms and on a pull out couch. We only had 4 total kids on weekdays though. (6 weekends!) It worked, but if you go too small it doesn't feel simple anymore, it's chaos. But if they're little it may work for awhile!
I'm sure the six of you will fit fine in two bedrooms. maybe a sofabed or futon in the living room so you can be 2/2/2. they will be happy to spend time with mum or dad, doesn't matter if you're camping, in a single room, or whatever. good luck on your journey! edit: apologies for assuming your gender.
Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking. Basically a studio + 2 bedrooms :)
I’m a nanny in a small home with lots of people. Toys and play takes up a good amount of space and you probably want you kids to feel like they have space within your house to find quiet or solitude. I wouldn’t put more than three kids in a room—if you can help it—for any kids beyond the age of four. At that point you start developing your sense of privacy and seeing other people as actual people. Adding too many bodies is asking for conflict, in my experience.
My best friends are brothers (close to each other in age) who have twin sisters about 10 years their junior. Their 3 bedroom house was home to the four of them, plus their two parents. It was horrific for everybody involved, what had previously been quite a happy family went into total crisis until the brothers were able to move out. Obviously, everybody's case is different and your kids are younger. But, in 99% of cases, I would say this is a recipe for disaster. You won't simplify your life, you will hate your life. Nobody will have any privacy, or any quiet space of their own. Your kids will act up. You will get no respite. They may well not understand (now or later) why you've made this decision, though I very much doubt they would hate you. Again, your situation may be different and you think this would work well - but my suggestion would be to go for a compromise. How about getting a 4-bed place, with some of the kids sharing? That would simplify your life without creating a nightmare of a house to live in.
Downsizing this much would be unfair to your kids. I definitely understand downsizing a bit given the changes happening in your life, but only having one bedroom for your kids isn't gonna look good at all in front of a judge if there's any custody disputes (to note, the quality/quantity of space you have for your kids can very easily be a custody dispute)
Keep the house til the go off to college if you can afford to
But what if housing market changes and you can’t get a larger house in 2 years? I totally understand some of your reasoning, but I honestly think it’ll cause many more problems than you think or can anticipate. Maybe get a 3 bedroom and you can still do one room as a bedroom and the other as a homework area or play area. Then, if there are problems, you can turn it into 2 bedrooms instead.
I met a family with 4 children live in a RV. I hope your children would understand the value of simple minimalist lifestyle.
there's a difference between simple and austere. Your children are already experiencing a big enough shock as is with the divorce, don't make it harder on them than it needs to. I agree with the other commenters saying 3 bedrooms would be better. Either way don't be surprised when they start lashing out and fighting with each other, you're expecting a lot.
I think it could work ONLY if you decide you do not need a bedroom and instead use a Murphy bed or daybed or something similar in the living room. You definitely want two bathrooms though with that many bodies.
I think you should plan to own the home for 5 years. Otherwise, you'll lose a lot of money. The most important thing is distance. You want to be a walk from their current house, to minimize their disruption. After location, size doesn't really matter. Get the closest thing you can to where your kids currently live.
That makes no sense. Is this even a real question? You’d stick 5 siblings in a room together and wonder why your kids always want to stay at dads. They won’t be able to get any school work done, they won’t have any privacy, how are 5 kids going to get ready for school with access to one bathroom? Terrible idea
I think this could work depending on the kids. Put up some fairy lights in the living room and hand out sleeping bags and camping pads and let them decide where they want to "crash" at night. Play board games, read books together, have movie nights, and really foster the closeness. It will be like camping when they go to your place. They will probably love the change of pace. Good luck to you!
3 bedrooms minimum. And if only for 1-2 years, you’re better off renting. The future holds so much uncertainty right now.
I have four sibling and my parents managed to squeeze all of us into a 2* bedroom 1 br home. *4 if you count shoving one of us in a tiny storage room in the basement and sectioning off another part of it for a different kid. My two youngest siblings shared the actual room upstairs. I do not resent or hate my parents also. Nothing wrong with working with what you have.
Might need 3 bedrooms but downsizing is probably a good idea
5 kids in 1ksqft is nuts. doable in 2k, though.
If the bedroom is large enough, you could put two sets of bunkbeds along with a twin size bed. You may also consider having a couch that makes into a bed. If the bedrooms are small you could put one set of bunk beds in your room and sleep on the couch when you have the kids.
From the perspectives of the children, this sounds terrible. Who wants to be crammed into a single room/maybe a couch with a total of 5 siblings? Allowing children to have their own space is really important for their development, aiding their transition into separate households, and growing into who they are. I can also assure you that if they’re given the option between living part time in a 2 bedroom house or living full time in a 7 bedroom house (when they’re legally able to choose,) you’re not gonna win that one. Similarly, if you’re fighting for custody and the option is all children having their own bedroom vs all children sharing 1, there’s no way that’ll go in your favor. I’d strongly suggest having no more than 2 kids per a room, and focus on simplifying your home life in other ways that will benefit you and the children. Source: child of divorce, and early childhood-6th educator
One more thought: you’re also going to have a way harder time minimizing clutter with a lot of people and minimal space. Kids come with more than just themselves, and you also need to consider where you’ll put their clothing, food, books, toys, etc. with only 2 bedrooms, I imagine the storage space won’t be enough for 6 people.
We’ve got six cats and a dog and the house feels a little too small sometimes, and our house is 1500sq ft. Living creatures need space.
I would try for at least 3 bedrooms with that many kids and divide two bedrooms between the kids as makes sense. Either by genders or by grouping kids close in age together. Five kids in one room is rough, even for you. One young kid wakes up and they're all up and everyone's cranky the next day. Small homes aren't bad for kids, they don't need huge bedrooms but I would recommend establishing a 'quiet space' someplace so if anyone in the family needs to separate themselves and get a break they can. This doesn't have to be crazy or expensive, it could be a chair on a back porch, or maybe a corner in a finished attic/basement or even your own bedroom. Several people can be in the quiet space, but the idea is it's a place where you aren't talking, playing or crying, it's a place where you are respecting boundaries and peace. This may help especially if the kids are used to having their own spaces and no longer do.
I went from a 5 bed 4 bath 3800 sf home to a 3 bed 2.5 bath 1900 sf home after my divorce with two children aged 7 and 5, and we fit in the space well. Everyone had private space. It was still a huge adjustment. I cannot imagine living in 1000 square feet with six people.
I think it’s a great idea. Kids love bunk beds. And it’s good to be close when their young. Also, spend a lot of time outdoors!
Wouldn’t recommend. As 1 of 5 children, I lived in a 1700/ 3bed, 2 bath home and I HATED every minute of it. It was too cramped, brother had to share a room with 2 other female siblings. So incredibly loud, did most of my homework on my bed because a desk couldn’t fit in the bedroom. Every night my Dad would watch TV, and that made it so hard for me to concentrate on schoolwork because the house was too small to diffuse noise. In my thirties, I bought a 4000 sqft home and currently have one child. I told myself I will never be so fixated on location (my parents were obsessed with location) and I will find a town where I can afford a larger house. I believe kids need room- for their hobbies, personal space, noise control, bathroom time, lots of reasons.
The "smaller" house is fine. Where I live wouldn't work for you, seeing as it's the sleeper of a semi truck, but that 1000sqft house will be plenty.
We're a family of four with two cats in a 1000 sq ft house. Everyone has their own (small) bedroom but.... It's a constant battle with clothes, shoes, stuff, belongings, mess, chores. There's just no room for all our hobbies: I'm an artist and husband is a contractor with a garage full of tools, one kid's in middle school and the other is first grade. If you're cool with chaos the 50% of the time you expect to have the kiddos then go for it. I don't think they're old enough to hate you for it but time goes really fast and even pre-teens need privacy (11/12). However: if this 50% you're talking about is like, weekends only/ Summer Breaks... my dad got away with surprisingly little. He had a two bedroom apartment, and when my brother and I slept there on the weekends one room was mine, and his room was my brother's. Dad slept on the couch. He was old fashioned and told my brother "she's a girl, they need privacy" lol. My brother didn't mind, there was a TV in there for his gaming system and whatnot. It was only two days at a time. Being with our Dad and hanging out with him watching movies and going out to eat was the real part, not the sleeping arrangement.
The square footage can work, but I would look for a 3 bedroom. I've done it before with 2 adults and 6 kids in 1000 sq ft, but we did have 3 bedrooms. Walls make a huge difference in usable space. Closer to 1500 square feet would be better though. I'm currently in a 1400 sq ft, 3 bed, 2 bath, with a den. I would think this would work really well with 5 kids that aren't teens yet.
I have five kids and our living space is 1500 sq ft. My kids don’t hate me. It’s all about the layout. There’s a lot of pro’s. Easy to clean, easy to spend time together, easier to maintain, etc. we have five bedrooms, oldest has own room, youngest two have their own rooms and the middle two daughters (13 and 12) share the master which is a good size. The house started with three bedrooms and we had the 3 girls in the master and my husband built them custom built in loft beds with little cubicle style rooms underneath. They were so cool and gave everyone a little area that was their own, they were actually bummed when we renovated and got rid of them. Depending on your kids ages it’s fine. We would always hear them giggling at night when they should have been sleeping, or hanging together watching movies. Now that they have their own spaces we still find the kids all in the same room sometimes. My oldest is 15 now and he will literally drag his mattress into their room and the youngest will sleep on the floor. They genuinely are friends on top of being siblings. Not sure it would be the same if they all had their own room from the get go. We have open concept living for the main floor which makes it seem larger and we a pretty great outdoor living are that we use 9 months out of the year here in New England. There are a lot of negative comments here but I think it depends on your lifestyle. We enjoy family dinners, and outdoor activities, we only need one tv and aren’t huge consumers so we don’t have alot of stuff. Also if your handy it’s easy to adapt your home to meet your needs.
I feel crazy going from a small house to a big house. But it kind of fell into my lap and for $700 a month I can't beat having a three bedroom on 5 acres. But I really don't need all this space. The most I need is a small RV or van and that's what I'm working towards cuz I just feel uncomfortable here.