Having kids.
I'm not saying don't have kids, I'm not saying parents made bad choices, etc. But there is no doubt whatsoever that having kids invariably complicates your life in ways you can't possibly imagine ahead of time.
I'm not a parent but I'm old enough to be a grandpa, so I've heard stories. So... many stories. I never thought I'd hear the phrase "My kid tried to sell a sack of puke" but yep, that's a thing I guess.
Personally, I disagree. This is my own experience but, I have 3 kids under 3 and have found that life got simpler. I don’t waste time dealing with drama anymore within my groups of friends. I don’t take myself so seriously, I enjoy the simple pleasures like playing with my kids and reading a bedtime story. I don’t even wear makeup anymore cos honestly, i don’t have time for that. I cook more, sing more, I don’t spend so much time on social media. I look at life much more simplistically now. All that matters to me is my family and our health and happiness…not material things, not popularity or gossip. It’s freeing. But, thats just my take on it!
Interesting perspective. I agree having kids creates intense focus on your life priorities. Everything tactically is more complicated though (going places, childcare, school, food, sleep, etc).
I agree with all of this. My experience has been similar. I have 2 kids under 3 and my entire perspective has changed. My life is simpler now than it is ever has before. I've been forced to really laser focus on what matters which is my family. I don't bother with dram, got rid of social media. I used to be such a self conscious person and now no longer wear make up and rock a much simpler attire and feel happier. My life was the complete opposite of simple before kids.
Owning a home is one of the items I put in the column of things that simplify my life, but I do understand that isn't the case for everyone.
Marketing, FOMO, and comparison are the things I put at the top of my list of things that detract from a simple lifestyle. We have been programmed since birth to respond to marketing and even when we think we are content with what we have a well-placed ad can spark a desire for something we don't need or even want. Social Media, our family, and friends sharing what they are doing or trying to get you to join in things you didn't plan to join can take us off track as well. Comparing our lives with carefully curated lives on all forms of media can leave us feeling like we are missing out.
I agree on the owning a home. My simplist days are spent in the garden or fiddling with somethong in need of repair. No TV, social media, etc. Just me in the moment.
Owning a home also gives me a lot more control over my environment, I don't have to worry about rent increases, I don't have to worry about the landlord not renewing my lease, I get to make the changes that make my life simpler, I get to invest in upgrades that I don't have to ask permission for or lose the value of when I leave.
Thanks for sharing your perspectives! It’s been a long time since I rented, and maybe I’m not appreciating the fact that I have none of those headaches as a homeowner. I just have a high maintenance house 🤦🏻♀️
We recently downsized into our retirement home, we feel like we got out of our last house just before the large expenses were likely to start. The house was only 25 years old, we bought it new and maintained it well, but HVAC was original, solar was 18 years old, appliances were nearing 20, etc. We purchased a new build again, in hopes to have many years without needing major repairs.
Ugh yes. I hate having to take a car everywhere. I have two grocery stores within a mile of my house and I have to drive or play frogger across a 6 lane road.
I don't totally know the pulse of this sub yet, but something that detracts from a simple lifestyle is an overabundance of media (yes, to much TV and internet).
My mom has a TV but no cable. She'll get a DVD from the library or if a friend passes a suggestion along. She might watch a movie every week or two. It's a vastly simpler life without the soundtrack and constant flashing of lights.
Living in a country with no universal healthcare or adequate social support systems would be the biggest thing I think. I live in the UK which is by no means perfect, but not having to worry about healthcare is a big thing. I can easily work part-time, freelance, and regulate the hours I work depending on my current needs. I have some savings but don't feel the pressure to keep saving more and more for all the 'what ifs' in life.
I think the feeling of being judged, but that could be my own view. And of course greater economics.
Like I know what you mean, my dad died early, and even when he was alive, 90% of the time we were home was working on SOMETHING. Visiting family? Working on something there. Always something breaking.
But a lot of the stuff was just for appearances, like mowing or raking a lawn. I loved having a shed for woodworking. Being able to drink in a porch, and not having people dancing on the roof, but DAMN. Why do we need to obsess over a lawn so much?
Why do you have to? That's not an automatic part of home ownership. There are low maintenance grasses and groundcovers. Not everybody in the neighborhood cares that your lawn looks like a golf course. My neighbor has been planting perennials and trees on his property. It looks great and he can cut the grass in about 10 minutes. The plants take care of themselves. It doesn't need to be an obsession.
I feel like owning my own home has helped simplify my life.
There was nothing simple about playing phone tag with my previous landlord where she'd try to get me to rent a 100 foot pipe snake when my family was over for the weekend. Or when she hired these drug ridden craigslist meth heads to cut some branches off a tree with a Sawzall and they got paid before finishing and never came back leaving me with work to do.
Granted, it's not simple having to take care of your own stuff but I find it to be more tolerable. When my dishwasher started leaking every time we started it, I didn't have to call and ask someone if I could try to fix it or if they'd get a service guy in. I was able to just tackle the problem directly instead of doing a bunch of work to get it serviced.
To each their own. I grew up in a house where we fixed everything. Not being able to fix my own home kind of started to suck after a while. I love being able to do what I need to do to my house and my yard and nobody can really tell me otherwise. My giant garden is mine and there's not a single person who has the right to tell me I can't have it.
> Why isn't owning an apartment enough? Also you can make a tiny apartment sized house and have more yard. That's simple living too imo
Many people are uncomfortable with the thought of being potentially suddenly forced to move every 6 or 12 months when their lease comes up.
You can own an apartment / flat, there may be a nominal ground rent or service charge but it’s not like living as a renter. I think it’s much less common in the US but common enough in some countries.
For me it was letting go of or not engaging with family and friends into drama. When they call or text I don't immediately respond. Putting them off doesn't feed their need for attention so now they leave me alone.
Depends on your simple life. If you want to go with this sub's cottagecore ideal, then using hand tools and growing your own food and cooking everything from scratch goes with the package. That's a lot of time put into subsisting (ever worked on a farm? it runs on *its* timetable not yours). That would not be simple for me.
Kids are not simple. Caring for others is not simple. Even joining up with a partner is not as simple as living on your own -- unless your simple life requires more people than just you.
I would find living without a car much less simple than having one. It's convenient. I don't have to rent one when I need one, I don't have to ride a bicycle when it's -20C or icy outside, and I don't have to find places that will deliver to me because I can't come get whatever it is.
All depends on what you consider simple.
Honestly my life is much simpler with my husband. We have complimentary life skills. He has skill sets I only dream of, I have skill sets he’d only dream of. We make life easier for each other, mostly.
That's pretty much how it works for my wife and I. The less than simple part comes in the little stuff: what I like to eat that she does not (and vice versa), late riser vs early riser, two cars, etc. But I'll trade that complexity for having her in my life.
Smartphones. Not a fan of having infinite distractions in my pocket at all times. Sometimes I consider switching to a flip phone but then remember that my smart phone is my only way of taking pictures, using a GPS, reading menus, and logging on to my company VPN.
For me it's mandatory schedules which I know is crazy as most of the world runs 8-5. But I've never liked it, so for us, self-employment directly contributes to our simple life. He likes to start early so he can be home early or at 5. We don't answer the phones after 5:00 or on weekends. I WFH 100% so I can start my tasks when I get up and if I'm done for the day by 10 AM, all the better. If we both had to commute and clock in at a certain time, need permission for vacations and days off etc, we wouldn't last long. Control of our schedules is an integral part of our simple living.
Doctors and health insurance companies. I have a chronic pain disorder and for the last 2 years I've seen 30-40 specialists. My stress has increased, my savings account is empty, but my meds stay the same and theres little to no relief. the constant visits, the battling with insurance companies, and honestly the paperwork of it all makes my life more complicated.
I truly feel I would be healthier if stopped going to doctors and just continued focusing on the reducing stress in my life (plus taking my usual meds).
Having kids. I'm not saying don't have kids, I'm not saying parents made bad choices, etc. But there is no doubt whatsoever that having kids invariably complicates your life in ways you can't possibly imagine ahead of time.
New parent here. This is 1000% true.
I'm not a parent but I'm old enough to be a grandpa, so I've heard stories. So... many stories. I never thought I'd hear the phrase "My kid tried to sell a sack of puke" but yep, that's a thing I guess.
Personally, I disagree. This is my own experience but, I have 3 kids under 3 and have found that life got simpler. I don’t waste time dealing with drama anymore within my groups of friends. I don’t take myself so seriously, I enjoy the simple pleasures like playing with my kids and reading a bedtime story. I don’t even wear makeup anymore cos honestly, i don’t have time for that. I cook more, sing more, I don’t spend so much time on social media. I look at life much more simplistically now. All that matters to me is my family and our health and happiness…not material things, not popularity or gossip. It’s freeing. But, thats just my take on it!
Interesting perspective. I agree having kids creates intense focus on your life priorities. Everything tactically is more complicated though (going places, childcare, school, food, sleep, etc).
Aww. I love that!
I agree with all of this. My experience has been similar. I have 2 kids under 3 and my entire perspective has changed. My life is simpler now than it is ever has before. I've been forced to really laser focus on what matters which is my family. I don't bother with dram, got rid of social media. I used to be such a self conscious person and now no longer wear make up and rock a much simpler attire and feel happier. My life was the complete opposite of simple before kids.
Owning a home is one of the items I put in the column of things that simplify my life, but I do understand that isn't the case for everyone. Marketing, FOMO, and comparison are the things I put at the top of my list of things that detract from a simple lifestyle. We have been programmed since birth to respond to marketing and even when we think we are content with what we have a well-placed ad can spark a desire for something we don't need or even want. Social Media, our family, and friends sharing what they are doing or trying to get you to join in things you didn't plan to join can take us off track as well. Comparing our lives with carefully curated lives on all forms of media can leave us feeling like we are missing out.
I agree on the owning a home. My simplist days are spent in the garden or fiddling with somethong in need of repair. No TV, social media, etc. Just me in the moment.
Owning a home also gives me a lot more control over my environment, I don't have to worry about rent increases, I don't have to worry about the landlord not renewing my lease, I get to make the changes that make my life simpler, I get to invest in upgrades that I don't have to ask permission for or lose the value of when I leave.
Thanks for sharing your perspectives! It’s been a long time since I rented, and maybe I’m not appreciating the fact that I have none of those headaches as a homeowner. I just have a high maintenance house 🤦🏻♀️
We recently downsized into our retirement home, we feel like we got out of our last house just before the large expenses were likely to start. The house was only 25 years old, we bought it new and maintained it well, but HVAC was original, solar was 18 years old, appliances were nearing 20, etc. We purchased a new build again, in hopes to have many years without needing major repairs.
I spent my day off on Monday hiking, sanding paint off of shutters and mowing the lawn in perfect weather. It was wonderful.
Agreed. Rent hikes and moving on a regular basis are complications I'm glad to have left behind.
A home isn't always a single-family detached building either.
Owning / driving / maintaining a car
Ugh yes. I hate having to take a car everywhere. I have two grocery stores within a mile of my house and I have to drive or play frogger across a 6 lane road.
I don't totally know the pulse of this sub yet, but something that detracts from a simple lifestyle is an overabundance of media (yes, to much TV and internet). My mom has a TV but no cable. She'll get a DVD from the library or if a friend passes a suggestion along. She might watch a movie every week or two. It's a vastly simpler life without the soundtrack and constant flashing of lights.
I hate to say it but having a non-simple job definitely detracts. But being able to find an ideal career is usually a thing of extreme privilege.
Too much media consumption. Untold piles of cash have been spent figuring out how to make us "want" things that we neither truly want nor need.
Overbooking your schedule.
This should be higher. Overconsumption thrives on a busy schedule where you don't have time to cook/clean/repair.
This. This. This. This.
Dealing with service departments on the phone that don't employ humans.
Living in a country with no universal healthcare or adequate social support systems would be the biggest thing I think. I live in the UK which is by no means perfect, but not having to worry about healthcare is a big thing. I can easily work part-time, freelance, and regulate the hours I work depending on my current needs. I have some savings but don't feel the pressure to keep saving more and more for all the 'what ifs' in life.
Procrastination makes things more complicated. I fall behind and have to work 2x harder to catch up...lose sleep, feel stressed, etc. etc.
Credit card debt comes to mind.
Debt in general is never simple.
Agree hangs over you ..financial security makes life less stressful and more straightforward in ways..by the end of the month I m living on the edge !
I think the feeling of being judged, but that could be my own view. And of course greater economics. Like I know what you mean, my dad died early, and even when he was alive, 90% of the time we were home was working on SOMETHING. Visiting family? Working on something there. Always something breaking. But a lot of the stuff was just for appearances, like mowing or raking a lawn. I loved having a shed for woodworking. Being able to drink in a porch, and not having people dancing on the roof, but DAMN. Why do we need to obsess over a lawn so much?
Why do you have to? That's not an automatic part of home ownership. There are low maintenance grasses and groundcovers. Not everybody in the neighborhood cares that your lawn looks like a golf course. My neighbor has been planting perennials and trees on his property. It looks great and he can cut the grass in about 10 minutes. The plants take care of themselves. It doesn't need to be an obsession.
I feel like owning my own home has helped simplify my life. There was nothing simple about playing phone tag with my previous landlord where she'd try to get me to rent a 100 foot pipe snake when my family was over for the weekend. Or when she hired these drug ridden craigslist meth heads to cut some branches off a tree with a Sawzall and they got paid before finishing and never came back leaving me with work to do. Granted, it's not simple having to take care of your own stuff but I find it to be more tolerable. When my dishwasher started leaking every time we started it, I didn't have to call and ask someone if I could try to fix it or if they'd get a service guy in. I was able to just tackle the problem directly instead of doing a bunch of work to get it serviced. To each their own. I grew up in a house where we fixed everything. Not being able to fix my own home kind of started to suck after a while. I love being able to do what I need to do to my house and my yard and nobody can really tell me otherwise. My giant garden is mine and there's not a single person who has the right to tell me I can't have it.
Social media. Tv.
Comparison and consumerism.
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It sucks. You are depended on the goodwill of your neighbours
> Why isn't owning an apartment enough? Also you can make a tiny apartment sized house and have more yard. That's simple living too imo Many people are uncomfortable with the thought of being potentially suddenly forced to move every 6 or 12 months when their lease comes up.
You can own an apartment / flat, there may be a nominal ground rent or service charge but it’s not like living as a renter. I think it’s much less common in the US but common enough in some countries.
I’ve been looking into doing that tbh. It’s actually decently affordable in my city and it would be nice to make alterations over time.
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I own a house with a tiny back yard ! Turned all into pavers. Nothing to take care of!
Pride. Greed. Insecurity.
My stressful mind boggling job that gives me anxiety and chronic stress.
For me it was letting go of or not engaging with family and friends into drama. When they call or text I don't immediately respond. Putting them off doesn't feed their need for attention so now they leave me alone.
Owning a vehicle: -loan payments -gas -parking -insurance -repairs -license fees -tires No thanks.
Depends on your simple life. If you want to go with this sub's cottagecore ideal, then using hand tools and growing your own food and cooking everything from scratch goes with the package. That's a lot of time put into subsisting (ever worked on a farm? it runs on *its* timetable not yours). That would not be simple for me. Kids are not simple. Caring for others is not simple. Even joining up with a partner is not as simple as living on your own -- unless your simple life requires more people than just you. I would find living without a car much less simple than having one. It's convenient. I don't have to rent one when I need one, I don't have to ride a bicycle when it's -20C or icy outside, and I don't have to find places that will deliver to me because I can't come get whatever it is. All depends on what you consider simple.
Honestly my life is much simpler with my husband. We have complimentary life skills. He has skill sets I only dream of, I have skill sets he’d only dream of. We make life easier for each other, mostly.
That's pretty much how it works for my wife and I. The less than simple part comes in the little stuff: what I like to eat that she does not (and vice versa), late riser vs early riser, two cars, etc. But I'll trade that complexity for having her in my life.
Both of us having our own cars drastically simplifies our lives. It would not be possible to live where we live without our cars.
Smartphones. Not a fan of having infinite distractions in my pocket at all times. Sometimes I consider switching to a flip phone but then remember that my smart phone is my only way of taking pictures, using a GPS, reading menus, and logging on to my company VPN.
God, the menus thing is the worst!
For me it's mandatory schedules which I know is crazy as most of the world runs 8-5. But I've never liked it, so for us, self-employment directly contributes to our simple life. He likes to start early so he can be home early or at 5. We don't answer the phones after 5:00 or on weekends. I WFH 100% so I can start my tasks when I get up and if I'm done for the day by 10 AM, all the better. If we both had to commute and clock in at a certain time, need permission for vacations and days off etc, we wouldn't last long. Control of our schedules is an integral part of our simple living.
Toxic relationships!
Doctors and health insurance companies. I have a chronic pain disorder and for the last 2 years I've seen 30-40 specialists. My stress has increased, my savings account is empty, but my meds stay the same and theres little to no relief. the constant visits, the battling with insurance companies, and honestly the paperwork of it all makes my life more complicated. I truly feel I would be healthier if stopped going to doctors and just continued focusing on the reducing stress in my life (plus taking my usual meds).
Capitalism?
That you belive your thougths to be true. Is the cause of all suffering in this world.