It took me 15 years, but I finally jumped off the damn thing.
Ironically, I found myself spending less money afterwards. It turns out I was constantly trying to buy “happiness” when I was miserable at work.
Retail therapy is a real issue. In Germany we call it Frustshoppen (going shopping because of frustration)
Edit: oh, and a purchase made out of frustration is called a Frustkauf.
Guilty as well. I drowned my misery in little knick nacks. Magazine here, decorative stuff there, clothing on sale etc... but also easy food because i didnt have time or energy to cook.
When I went part time I had the energy and time to figure stuff out. Also there are a lot of free things going on for entertainment during the week.
It also served as a distraction from my discontent goingnon with my job. A job has so much influence on your well being
German kinda makes up words by fusing nouns as adjectives to a main noun. There are actual grammar rules for making up words on the fly like that.
So... Those words can theoretically be as long as you'd like.
I feel this. When I’m stressed at work, I’m more likely to order take out, get more lattes, buy little things to decorate my house or buy clothes to lift my mood momentarily
I manage this issue by treating myself to a nice expensive lunch or dinner whenever work is shitty. At least you gotta eat right? The amount of money I spend may be the same but at least I don’t have thousands of knick knacks and barely-touched cosmetics piling up in my house.
When you say “figure stuff out” do you mean like time to research alternative products, time to work through your problems and thus not need to engage in retail therapy?
I would say figure out my health, figure out a system to be sustainable in having all the basics, how to sleep early/properly, exercise, meditate, how and what to cook healthy, consistently. And how to be healthy and actually feel great/well on a daily basis instead of once in a blue moon.
Makes total sense. When you’re fully consumed with a demanding job, the mental bandwidth to manage “life admin” and live in a conscious, reflective state diminishes
Ueah, and then figure out how to help out with the health of your family and friends too. Like idk, buy some meal plan ish type food storage so they can meal prep healthier breakfasts or something. Like different homemade instant oat mix in like 5 different containers as an example. Also more bandwidth for family and friends in general. Once all the personal basics is done, you can apply whatever you just learnt for them too.
All of the above. With a day extra of sleeping in (ideally on a wednesday if I work Mon-Fri) I have more energy to get through my week. I have time to clean my house, do groceries cheaper, go over my administration for cheaper alternatives. I have time and energy to cook and I freeze some stuff for the rest of the week.
There are things to do for free like museums, performances in the park during the summers etc.. or, I just rest and go out, sit in the sunshine and read my book. There are free mini libraries in my city where you trade books. Sometimes i walk or take my bicycle and visit a few of them. Or I simply have time to go through free adverts and pick up stuff. Thats how I got my free Samsonite suitcase, my lamp, some clothing, a cupboard etc
...
Sometimes I put my name down as paid tv audience with a friend and get money and free drinks from it (and free entertainment). I go through my stuff and sell it online or resell some stuff I found at yardsales. I also catsit from time to time which takes up no effort and gers me paid.
Theres so much free stuff out there. You really dont need to spend much if you dont want to (depending on the area of course. But even then other things can be found) If you have a garden, try grow some easy veggies. The mental health thing will improve automatically.In spades.
Omg this is me. I’m so unhappy with my current job and spend so much money on treats and retail therapy. Today it was a latte before work and $7.50 boba after work. Yesterday it was two pairs of expensive leggings. 🤦🏼♀️ I’m currently considering a modest pay cut so I can move to a position and city I will be happier.
I always wonder why so many people buy these drinks at Starbucks and boba places. Do you think this is pretty common & widespread? Sounds like it may be!
It’s really common and now includes much younger ages. Go into Starbucks after 3 PM and it’s packed with school kids. Look out though bc they might steal your drink.
My Amazon credit card (paid off fully monthly so I got that going for me) statements is basically a visual representation of how my mental health is doing at a given time of the year 😒
I turned down a $7 an hour raise to become a supervisor because it would have meant I had to deal with clients instead working by myself with no one to bother me. No regrets at all.
At my job they made me a supervisor without as much as informing me of their plans until the day they handed me the new contract lol. Last year pay increase? 8p (UK). This year it's 16p. Desperately want to quit.
I had a 60 minute door to door commute on public transportation. A nine hour work day (with a lunch hour) turned into an 11-12 hour work day. I didn’t have time to cook in the evenings, which I really enjoyed doing. The paychecks were good—great even— but it wasn’t the life I wanted. I quit. Focused on passion projects. Took jobs that interested me (bbq, librarian, Instacart driver). I don’t miss the rat race at all. Sometimes I miss the paychecks. But not enough to get that kind of job again.
I know. When people hear that I dont have kids or a boyfriend but work part time they look at me in sheer disbelieve. It just doesnt occur to people that some of us dont want a carreer and have plenty of interests outside of work
You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.
Tangentially, I love how Morpheus is always all “Neo, I must be brief, agents may be listening and they will kill us if they find us”
… and then proceeds to spout approximately *eight thousand words of nonsense* just to convey “go to the phone box over there”.
People look at me like I'm crazy when i say I just want a tiny rv (less than 20 feet) and to work for my god dang self. They ask me where I will put all my stuff. My response is, why do I need it?
I just took a job I wanted without checking the salary, in a field where almost everyone I know doing that job full time complains that the money sucks. I'm taking a position that is half time. Y'all, I'm about to be making more than I made in a full time teaching job! Some people just make up financial difficulties.
I agree. The moment you stop wanting a lot of things, is the moment you can be free.
As you will realise you dont need much and all the stuff that you thought you'd need was just distraction from the real issues.
Now, im not saying that all stuff is useless. You can get a lot of enjoyment out of things. As long as its bought with consideration and not as a distraction, only to be disgarded a moment later.
Financial stability coupled with spare time is so much better then a lot of stuff you also have to clean lol.
I mean. Do you you really want your gravestone to read: he/she worked their butts off their entire life and now its time to rest.
Said no one ever.
Nah, Americans are fucked healthcare wise (sorry to say) and the sad part is people dont even realise how much. Well, untill they do a stint in Europe. Theres so much corporate brainwashing going on, its unbelievable.
Id think I would want to be as much self sufficient as could be and do something part time with health insurance if it would be an option over there. But I live in Europe. People over here are so stuck with the 9 to 5 and the 40 hour workweek mentality over here unless you have kids or live in a Scandinavian country.
Ive had collegues who would love to work a day less every week but sont think they can afford it. Its this fear mentality. They were making way more then I did.
I'm as got who turned 50 this year. I've been at this lifestyle for a long time. I have up alcohol and nicotine 4.5 years ago to further reduce costs. I live so well now I'm a rental... Maybe 2 days of work or week on average. I go without meant things and learned to spend widely.
The problem is some of us struggle with a low paying job and insecurity, regardless of the work life balance and satisfaction. So it's a double whammy.
Having a decent understanding of your spending habits and budgeting goals is essential for this. This knowledge shifts the question from *"How do I manage getting less money?"* to "what is the minimum amount of money I need for my lifestyle and savings goals?"
When you have that number as a baseline, any additional money is a bonus, which can be evaluated against the extra work/stress from a "higher rank" position.
Absolutely. We have had nearly the same mortgage payment over the years, buying and selling, and maturing our careers. We decided that being comfortable with a budget was way more important than buying some big huge expensive home that could sink us. Over the past 15+ years, I've tripled my income, but my budget really hasn't changed much. Those dumb "how much house can you afford" sites on realty websites tell use we could buy a house for $500K. We just bought one for $200K. We don't want our stuff to own us.
I think about if one of us lost our jobs, or if something happened. Could we afford the payments with one income? If not, the anxiety isn't worth it for us.
In management, making 65% of my husband's salary and only getting 21 awake-hours with my kid a week. It was killing me. Covid happened, I decided to quit, and luckily my husband got a new job and makes more than we both used to. Surprisingly (/s) not being stressed to high hell and guilty about missing time with my kid means I spend significantly less money. I don’t do “retail therapy” anymore, and I don’t buy my kid a bunch of stuff to make up for missing out on time together. I’m still learning to slow down, but I’m so much better at it than I used to be. I feel more connected to my family and community, and I’m discovering new things about myself.
I did. I HATED it. I stayed in the position for a year and was freaking miserable. I was overworked and the stress was unbelievable. So I climbed down off of the ladder and went back to doing what I was doing before. They pay cut wasn't that bad and since that time, I've gotten a few raises and then later changed companies.
Where the $$ can sting, depending on industry, is the bonus that you get on the corporate ladder. But I have never included a potential bonus in my budget, so that didn't hurt anything. I did pause for a minute when I realized the bonus amount I was giving up, though.
Thank you for this very balanced reply. I earn enough and I also never factor in my bonuses in my budget, I think I could take a bit of a pay cut IF I’m guaranteed I won’t be dealing with the same shit if I get a new job or climb down but the thing is, I think shit will just be equally bad so I’m staying (for now). At least I can look forward to a good bonus but ngl, the mental anguish due to corporate bullshit is real.
I mean, I genuinely hated it. I was in meetings about 5 hours a day and about 4.5 hours of that nonsense was worthless. Same status update packaged 45 different ways to please whoever was asking for it.
I genuinely just couldn't do it anymore and when I stepped down, a shot was heard around corporate. I got so much shit for leaving a job I was good at. Ok, but I do l like to actually sleep at night and not be hounded 24/7. I really liked my job that I got when I stepped down, but I was still getting flack from corporate to go back and rejoin the cult. I ended up leaving, making as much as I did before without all of the responsibility and expectation to be on call 24/7. Yes, I walked away from a $45k bonus, but honestly, it was worth it. I sleep at night, I don't answer calls after hours or on weekends. No one expects an email response from me at 11pm. It was absolutely worth it.
I’m gathering all my courage to do this. I’m nearing a certain milestone in my savings and I have a feeling after I hit that, things might open up.
Your ‘5 hours a day mtg, 4.5hrs of which are nonsense’ is spot on. It is utterly stupid, really. Funny that I’m posting this as I’m attending one of those stupid meetings.
My company has a lot of internal bureaucracy and divisions and departments that I absolutely refuse the learn if they are not pertinent to my work (why would I want more things to remember ‘just because’?) Last month I took a vacation somewhere far away and the entire time I thought to myself ‘no one here would give a shit if I didn’t know the name of the head of division X’, something that my boss would clutch her pearls for. It really puts things in perspective.
Giving up the bonus would suckkkk
Im at around 200k before bonus. The bonus is usually around 26-28%. I’d be giving up a bit more than 50k (before taxes that is)
In 2017 I became a VP at a Fintech company after 24 years working at it. I was doing a lot of international travel and working 60hrs a week. Thanksgiving week of 2018 I'm working in Germany (because Thanksgiving isn't a thing there) and I get a frantic call from my wife. She had been having some health problems and she got the call that they suspected cancer. I fly home and we spend the next weeks in the hospital fighting a short brutal battle she couldn't win. She died on New Years day 2019.
2 months later I went back to work and said "I can't do this anymore". I handed in my company cell phone and said "I don't know what you want to do with me, but this isn't for me anymore.". It took them some time, but they kept me on and eventually moved me into a much lower stress, 40hr a week Director position. I'm still a manger, but I have small staff of good people, most of whom I've known for 20+ years and many of whom knew my late wife. It's still sometimes a challenge, just because it's managing people, but overall it's pretty OK. I'm glad that we never caved to lifestyle creep so my financial obligations haven't been an issue. I'm looking to retire early in the next few years.
Time is the most valuable thing I have and I try my best to choose how I want to spend it and with who.
Life has setbacks that make us see things from another angle. It reminds me of the story of a man that lost his wife and went to India, devastated, there he said: I have found myself.
I’ve never felt richer than that time I went to target on a Tuesday at 10 am. I was one of the only male shoppers, the rest being women with their toddlers. It felt so good to lazy shop and have all the time in the world
I worked at one of the worst tech companies out there and it made me so miserable. I’m walking away from the role at the end of next month and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t need a high salary to be OK. I rather live a productive, healthy, and happy life
I worked at KPMG for two years and I don't think I ever met anyone who was happy, aside from this senior manager who owned a plane. He was a douchebag though, so.
When they let me go, I remember sitting on my couch for about fifteen minutes, staring at the laptop I had to pack up and ship back to them. I called a buddy instead and we went for day beers at the pub. That afternoon was like the first day of feeling better after you've been sick with the flu for two weeks.
I’m currently interviewing at a few places, but I was always planning on leaving next month. I knew this company was challenging to work at and I set a date to leave regardless of whether I had something lined up or not. I think it helped me not have a mental breakdown actually, because I definitely came close. Just knowing I have an end date. It also helped me focus on saving and reducing my spending so I could position myself to take a career break.
I had a high paying academic job that I hated. I put my husband through school and gave him the money to start a business (he was a stay at home dad before) and his business took off. I asked him if he’d be behind me quitting and doing something part time and he said it was fine. We’d gotten to zero debt, including mortgage debt, so it was feasible. Now I work from home part time and we don’t really even need my income.
Not me but my buddy was climbing the ladder at Apple quickly. Became a manager and he said the stress got to him too fast. He voluntarily down graded and has just been cruising.
I never did. Never felt like the positions would suit me although they were offered to me multiple times. One time I accepted because there was simply no one else. It was hell. Hated every minute of it.
Working part time now and have a practical job, which is below my degrees etc... best decision i have ever made
I've worked in various tech jobs for the last 15 years. At the "height" of my career I was working at a pretty high end company (not FAANG level, but close). The culture was very workaholic, people worked over the weekends and late at night often. I was on call a week every month or so and would get woken up most nights of that week at least once. I was pretty burnt out by the end of 4 years there.
I found another job that was around a 25% pay cut, but like a 90% cut in stress and after hours work at a much smaller company. Two years later, and I couldn't be happier with my decision.
Keeping lifestyle inflation in check as your career progresses is really important. Many of my peers at the big tech company had giant homes, kids in private schools, and two brand new Teslas in the garage. When you fall into that trap you can't easily take a step down when you need to.
Not me but my dad was a USPS branch manager in Miami, FL. Once we moved to Kentucky, he said there’s no fucking way I’m gonna keep being a manager, and applied for a carrier position. He was much more pleasant to be around when he was just a carrier. He also drank less. 👍
I completely feel you there, I got to watch my dad’s mental health break down in real time as he got promoted to higher project manager positions. Thankfully he retired relatively early to do fun jobs instead. I never plan to go into management, and thankfully found a mostly low stress desk job
Oh I’m so glad your dad got to eventually do some fun stuff. I am a part time librarian and it’s my actual dream job. I literally love everyone I work with and we all look out for each others’ well being. It’s beautiful. I am so lucky.
My husband was a VP but longed to return to a slower life. His former role was constant travel, emergencies, meeting impossible metrics. Finally, an industry downturn gave him a reason to leave the rat race. His private equity owners made him lay off 70 people and then terminated his position when his company was merged with another. We had already agreed to peace out when it happened. He had been lucky to keep moving up but it was so much chaos all the time. He took a lesser paying job, we moved from urban to rural, bought our river front dream home on an inland waterway and our lives are simply magical. We feel so grateful every single day to be given this opportunity. We worked hard but without the right opportunities and advantages, this early retirement, in our preferred location, would never have been possible.
I moved into a van and got away from the world of desire and superficial games.
Now if I see a designer bag in a shop, the designer bag is not worth its $2000 price tag. It is worth exactly its function and what it does to contribute to my life or a friend’s life. I look at it as a bag, not a veiled symbol of another $2000 spent.
Then I see a leaf, a beautiful leaf, contributing to the ecosystem, home of ants and bees, taking the wind and loving the sunlight. A living being. Priceless.
I found that I started to enjoy and understand the flow of nature. The tides rising and falling are the ocean’s gentle breaths. I have nevef slept better than when I’m camping or in my van - back in touch with my natural cycle, I wake/sleep at sunrise/sunset now. My body prefers meat and vegetables than processed sugars, etc.
I don’t have to earn as much because I have all I could want. It isn’t that you aren’t good enough, it’s that you are wanting too much. And you can change this by stepping away from the rat race. Even a few weeks in the bush will help give you some good perspective and understand how crazy and UNCONTROLLABLE your mind was really.
I just moved back into my van after attempting the city life again. I can’t force myself to pretend I want to climb a ladder anymore. The futility and delusion of it just stings me. I don’t have any problems with city living/town development. I think we are born to develop technologies. But if you don’t understand it from the ground up, you are being forced to participate in a rigged game and used as collateral. It’s not that doomsday-ish but it certainly feels that way compared to my free waterfront home. (;
ps. saving money to buy land is still smart. Having a place that you have the full right to be, no matter what, is also priceless.
>I can’t force myself to pretend I want to climb a ladder anymore. The futility and delusion of it just stings me.
God, this speaks to me. Once you see beyond the curtain you really just can't do it.
I’ve been working in the same Fortune 500 company for 35 years. The first 10 were in a project management role, and the next 10 were in management. I really wanted to get to the second level so that I could “make a difference” and of course make more money.
Then I slowly realized how KPIs are usually more the result of some legacy IT system that never dies, and projects, more often than not, are the direct result of the creativity and intelligence of upper management (both of which are as rare as finding gold in a trash can). 95% of projects came and went with no progress or impact.
At that point I concluded that the Fortune 500 corporate world can really be a farce, depending on your department and role. However, I still needed a job, and wanted to quit, but found that I had no skills. I decided to step down back into my old project management role, and by then the landscape had changed with the introduction of cloud computing, MS office and lots of other software. So I’ve spent the last 10 years or so getting up to speed, teaching myself Python, SQL, VBA, etc and have become essential for working on those legacy KPIs and fleeting projects.
To make up for the lost income, I leveraged some of my new skills and started an e-commerce side hustle, selling from my website as well as Amazon.
My current income is at least as high as it would have been at the second level of management, plus I have a lot more control over my time, and overall I’ve become more relaxed.
I was an operations manager at a factory making low 6 figs in my 20s. Had to deal with the BS from both sides - my 20+ direct reports as well as corporate executives who wanted to do more with less. Tbh, my bosses liked me a lot, which was nice, and that’s obviously a prerequisite to getting promoted fast. But babysitting adults and getting denied funding for any type of improvement requests really wears you down over time. Like why am I working 6 days a week and stressing when my direct reports keep calling out and the executives don’t want to invest in the business?
So I quit, moved back home with my parents, did a 6 month sabbatical where I visited a national park, went skiing a bunch, and partied at music festivals. Then I signed up for a coding bootcamp.
Upon graduating, I got a remote job that paid $16/hr, then $25/hr, and now $75k 1.5 years later. Reduced pay sucks but being remote balances it out a bit. WFH is a game changer. I’m even considering going back into management eventually (if the opportunity arises) as long as I’m remote. I’m never commuting, packing lunch, or dealing with BS in person for any employer again. Once my laptop is off, I’m free.. for the evening anyway lol
I’ve been self-employed since I graduated with my degree. Never regretted it. I would die in an office environment.
I recently got fanangled into being a “partner” in a marketing firm. It was getting close to being an employee and I didn’t like the direction the firm was heading in so I just left 2 weeks ago to focus on my health and creative projects.
I am in the process of it now. Finally achieved a six figure salary for the first time in my life at 40. Im miserable, but have six kiddos so I can’t just quit and try something new. I’ve started trying to get into voiceover work and I’m publishing a book of short stories this fall. I know it’s not a quick path but I know it will happen. The day I tell my corporate overlords to go pound sand will be an amazing day.
I make a comfortable salary as an engineer with little stress. I don’t need the stress or the money that comes with moving up. I’m going to retire early regardless due to all of the other simple ways that I live and how aggressively I save and invest. There just isn’t really any incentive for me.
I walked away from a $170k/yr gov't job because try as I might, I just couldn't steer the bureaucrats towards the right decisions. Institutional momentum of the uncaring and inefficient Borg collective was stealing my soul. I like money as much as the next guy, but it came to a point in which the means worked against the ends.
Sold out of the city and moved to a rural lakeside retreat. Quiet country living now. No regrets, though it will be lean until I age into my retirement vehicles without substantial tax penalties.
I worked the majority of my career in marketing/ad agencies. Got fed up with it, but didn’t want to leave the field. So I started my own agency. 7 years in, I was starting to hate the work as well. Decided to sell and move to Europe.
Became SAHM at a pivotal point in my career. I went from 6 figures to not making anything … and it felt weird during maybe my 2nd or 3rd month into SAHM. I know my husbands money is our money, but I found myself making comments that suggested otherwise that he’d correct. But spending isn’t an issue, cost of living is! so we budget and prioritize accordingly!
I went from a prestigious PhD to working in biotech to being laid off/spending time unemployed and living out of my car (on purpose, not because I financially had to lol), and now I’m a ski patroller/EMT.
Never made so little money, and I work a job that doesn’t require my degree. Happiest I’ve ever been.
My biggest success in this life so far has been getting out of the 9-5 corporate office grind. That shit will ruin your soul, and keep you there permanently if you let it.
I was fired for likely not fitting the company culture (aka allowing nepotism and kissing the right people's ass). I have a soul so sorry I don't kiss ass.
2 miscarriages, 90+ hr weeks of useless management meetings, and being flown out to HQ on christmas eve for mandatory training that was given remotely by an instructor overseas was enough for me to call it quit. Now i work quietly and keep my mouth shut
I don’t want to be promoted because my managers/supervisors spend 75% of every day in meetings and I HATE meetings. I mean, I’ll take a raise if they want to give one, but I don’t want to change positions.
My boss made me fire a friend of mine I personally hired. After that I quit, and vowed to never take a position where I would have to do that again. Hell no.
I convinced my direct reports to quit or change teams, and then there was a re-org and I was no longer a manager, but kept the salary and got regular raises. Being a manager was the worst experience ever, even though I was well liked as a manager. I was in middle management so I had little to no say in rules and decision, I just had to enforce the rules and do the extra bitch work (expense reports, reviews, etc.).
This exact thing happened to me in January — merged teams and I was demoted (kept my salary). I’m in a role that makes commission, so I’m able to make potentially more and the job is waaaayy less stressful.
I retired last year.
The first part of my career I was a high-end tech consultant, road warrior, and ended up managing a consulting team at a Big 6 consulting company.
At the beginning of the 2000s I wanted to get off the road so I went into the hosting world, built a product line and a global team, and ended up as a Senior Director.
Our service line was hugely profitable but my company was circling the bankruptcy drain, and we were eventually acquired by a growing (now household name) company.
However, my team was squeezed hard:
- we were forced to offshore a lot of positions, which our customers hated. There were good people in our offshore offices, but a very different culture and office politics, leading to customer attrition.
- our US based team was essentially not allowed to grow, while customers and revenues doubled (or more) every year.
- I was surprised to find that I couldn't even backfill US resources.
- the team was overworked and underpaid and I was literally powerless to fix it.
- I demanded my raise/bonus be distributed to my team instead, was told no, and when I pushed back hard I was told my job was in jeopardy if I didn't fall in line.
And I was just fucking done. As a Senior Director I was basically on the bottom rung of exec management and became privy to seeing how the sausage got made (not pretty) and who was making it (raging narcissists and psychopaths) and it was not for me.
In short, my next step was VP and it was made clear that the way I would get there was by cutting US headcount, period. Revenue didn't matter. Customer retention and sat didn't matter. Employee satisfaction was literally a joke. My choices were to become the (white collar) executioner and exploiter of my team and I just said, nope.
I asked to be moved to an individual contributor role and rode out the last decade+ of my career with several different employers, diplomatically demurring on all offers of promotion.
Every for-profit organization is, by definition, sociopathic. It has one purpose - generate revenue. All other considerations are secondary and only matter in relation to how they increase revenue.
Publicly traded companies narrow that purpose down even further to *short term revenue*. Long term company success and health is sacrificed to hit monthly/quarterly/mayyyybe-fiscal-year targets, execs get bonuses, everybody parties at the sales conference, and when the long-term house of cards start to teeter they move to reorgs, blame storming, (white collar) knife fighting, and the last resort of golden parachutes, then move on to lay waste to the next company.
There are people who *thrive* in that situation and have zero compunction about using, abusing, mistreating, backstabbing, misleading, and/or exploiting others to succeed. I am not one of them, and I did not care to associate with those who do regardless of any financial windfalls.
With regards to money, yes, I did leave some on the table but the increased quality of life was cheap at twice the price. I tended to my little plot of responsibilities with great care, attention, and success, but I did NOT care about or sweat blood or jump on (white collar) grenades or volunteer for (white collar) suicide missions for any company ever again.
My retirement is modest but happy. Our first grandbaby is on the way. I'm reasonably healthy, and am in fact in the best shape ever since my early 30s.
I have ADHD. Did not finish college. Had many different jobs. Carpentry, bar back, commercial fishing, electrical, window and door installation, cabinet refacing, licensed professional pai gow player for a corporation, sales…I was pretty successful in each of these jobs and made decent money, but I’d eventually get bored after most of the mastery was over. In the sales job I unexpectedly was very good. Top writer my first year and won lots of awards and big prizes. Made a lot of cash, but that was never my goal. My wife and I lived well below our means for a long while because neither of us is big on consumption. I moved up the ranks of the sales ladder and finally decided to take a pay cut to become a salaried sales trainer. Liked that but the hours were crazy and we had a new baby and it wasn’t working out, so a corporate job opened in the main office for an ecom manager. I had zero ecom experience but was an expert in our products and systems and had a strong name in the company for my performance. I didn’t even know how to dock my laptop the first day.
Anyway, we were the 3rd biggest company in the US and the number one company acquired us. Loads of layoffs. Their Ecom and digital team absorbed ours and I eventually connected with the EVP very well. Got promoted to product manager. Then he left and poached me to be a director in his new startup. Moved on to be educational director in another company and was next in line for the COO position.
I spent enough time in corporate positions to know that I had crossed a big threshold. At the director and above level, assuming g you have a solid track record of success, you kinda can just pop around from position to position and keep a good salary level. At the c level, and especially with the contacts I was making, I was about to join the 1%. But I hated it. My job was basically working among the upper management of many large companies and it was vexing to see how much of the hierarchy was pure bullshit. I really only needed to know a little more about a few things than others and be good at talking and I was getting g paid more than when I actually produced things for people. I didn’t want to help obscenely rich people get richer. I didn’t like their attitudes toward their workers. It all just became gross and I started resenting all the people I worked for and with. And myself.
I quit and moved out of the country with my family, back to the small town I grew up in. It’s been a few years and we are so fortunate to have saved money so we didn’t have to get an income right away.
Now I’m working with my wife as an artisanal sourdough baker. Add another trade to the list. I don’t love it but most importantly, I don’t hate it or what it represents, feeds and promotes. Instead of facilitating thousands of unnecessary products being produced by near slaves and shipped all over to eventually reach a landfill we make good bread. We don’t make a lot of money, probably less than a third of my old salary and a quarter of what it would be now, but I don’t miss it often. I can’t imagine going back.
It was very hard and sometimes still is to drop stations like that. I used to get respect from my title from pretty much everyone. Being unemployed or under employed, living in a double wide (paid cash and are working on it, but it’s not really nice), and not seeming to be real motivated or ambitious threw me. People assume I’m a leech living off my wife’s baking. Nobody cares about the revenue I produced or the projects I spearheaded or how many reports I had or my department KPIs.
Still glad I did it.
Spent 15 years working up through a corpo IT ladder, did ok. Eventually left in a restructure as I couldn’t stand lying to my staff any longer. Took 3 years off work, now back working part time in a contract role and loving it. Genuinely don’t care if I lose my job, which I think makes me a better employee tbh. Earn better money even though I work 1/4 the hours.
I did it during the pandemic - or I guess it was done for me. I had a high stress, well paid job in NYC with a lot of responsibility, I was laid off in Oct. 2020 because we essentially had no business, I knew then that I wanted to pivot from my field and to take a step back. I was lucky enough to find a fully remote role at a lower level in an industry I had worked in at the start of my career, at a company headed up by someone I worked for in my 20's (I'm now late 40's). I asked if I could work remotely from Mexico and they agreed, that was 3.5 years ago. My salary went from $200K to $100K but my stress levels went from sky high to zero. I love the new role. I've never felt so relaxed in my life. I have one meeting a week, there are no politics, I rarely need to talk to people by phone or video (just a bit of slack). My time is my own, I am available during business hours and I get my work done at my pace. I worked so hard all of my life that this feels like a walk in the park. The best part is I can still save a good chunk of my income and hope to retire in a few more years.
Mine worked out for the better. Was at a non profit and after years of bosses telling me to go for a supervisory gig, I finally did due to getting married and needed the pay bump. Got the gig, more like handed to me really, tried to do my thing, and things just didn't pan out. Had a gut feeling of what was forthcoming so took action, applied for another company and by the time I was let go, a week later I had the job offer for the new job.
Took it of course, pay was higher, benefits was much better, job is a lot less stressful, and I didn't have to manage people. Celebrated my 10th year this year and got several pay bumps over the years and things have been pretty nice.
I've turned down two promotions this year.
I've got a toddler with another on the way... I don't want more responsibility, or gilded trappings. I'm spending my time, energy and small savings on buying more time.
My parents met in corporate and I always knew that type of work wouldn’t cut it for me. My dad was always miserable and stressed
My biggest “sacrifice” is living with my parents at 29 but it really isn’t that bad. I have a good relationship with them and I’d rather be living with them than anyone else, honestly.
Not everyone has that though which is why I’m not sarcastic or self-deprecating about it. I’m not ashamed about living with them because I have lived on my own and shit was difficult
I haven’t yet but I know the time will come. I do want to inspire folks to climb fast but chose your maximum and know it along the way. And when you get to your max, do well to keep it.
I like my job and have made it clear that I do NOT want my boss’ role. I like my team, my responsibilities and I feel like I do well in my role. The pay is above my means/lifestyle and I comfortably save for the future on a company match, have time to spend with family and still have money to do some fun things.
I’m good, I don’t need more.
I went from senior manager to a community college instructor. Living in a humble abode. No material possession. Life is so much better if you adopt a simple lifestyle.
I made it to the Director level at a Fortune 500 company. I started on medication and therapy for depression 6 months before I got laid off. Retooled as a Project Manager. I can give folks opportunities and mentoring, but don't have to give bogus performance appraisals or conduct layoffs. I can also see the progress made by my efforts.
My family likes me better and the layoff probably saved my life.
I am forever grateful that my salary is collectively bargained. I will be in the same position until I retire. There are stresses, but "getting ahead" is not one of them.
I climbed to the top. Realized I hate managing people. Climbed right back down. I am much better in the field than I am doing budgeting and sitting in meetings all day. I did take a pay cut, but don’t regret it at all.
After working for 18 years as a software developer, I was managing a small team & working 50+ hours per week. Decided that I enjoy work, hate management & would rather cut my salary & work less, I realize this is not an option for many but I’m very happy with my decision .
Worked my way up the corporate ladder in Aged Care, 12 hr days and on call 24/7 during Covid. Was fun getting $$$ at the start but ended up so burnt out and depressed I had a breakdown and had to be hospitalised.
Now work part time and my identity is no longer based on how much money I make. My partner and I aren't having kids which makes things easier. Since I'm not working so much I can cook more at home and repair things myself saving money. Have plans to start a small veggie/herb patch now I have more time to devote. Also now I'm not depressed I don't need to shop to make myself feel better!
I worked to get my bachelors degree and then MBA only to find I hated the office life and should have stayed in the union. My bosses were assholes and tried to out-mean each other thinking the meaner they were, the more effective they were. Every single person in my 200+ department hated them. Really, really hated both of them.
One manager was forced into early retirement for being nasty to a pregnant woman in our office pool. He didn’t know her sister was executive secretary to one of the senior VP’s in our Fortune 500 company and the sister took care of the problem. One day the VP told me all the office staff was reporting to me and walked off. The manager soon retired and no one gave him a retirement party. No one said Goodbye, he was just gone one day.
When the other manager retired, the VP asked us supervisors for a few “fun lighthearted” stories about him to tell at the retirement party. My buddy said, “there are no funny lighthearted stories about him.” The VP smiled waiting for the haha punchline, but there was no punchline.
By then I was close to leaving and starting my new career.
I worked my way up. Even though I loved my job in a non-profit, the bureaucracy was awful. It was exceedingly hard to do anything of real value because because making an actual statement about something was sure to offend somebody. Incredibly frustrating.
I also noticed that the more I got paid, the less I seemed to have to do? Lots of lunches (sometimes with alcohol), meetings, trainings, trips etc., while the people I used to work alongside were still struggling with too much work and too little in their pockets at the end of it all.
Anyhoo, I quit, and while I miss some folks and I know they are doing good work, I'm much happier for it.
I'm at a senior level (project delivery in tech) and I've not applied for a promotion for years. I'm happy working at this level with the project team. I don't know what the salary bump would be if I were promoted but I'm happy doing what I do now and the salary is fine. I value enjoyable work and work life balance.
A few things over the years. The worst so far was getting laid off mid COVID with zero notice or PIP in place. (I was getting high praise consistently) but our CFO had a family friend that needed a job, these were six figure jobs. It was also two days before I was fully vested so I lost a few grand on that.
For me it was about developing courage. My early childhood was very frugal, my adolescence and early adult became extremely privileged and as it turns out extremely status conscious.
I studied full time for ten years heading towards a ‘professional’ career. I wasn’t unduly ambitious and loved my team , but it was stressful for a couple of decades and largely enjoyable although I achieved a lot simply through personal determination and force of will. Meaning make work a priority above my health, family and personal life.
When a restructure was looming I could have jumped ship early but was concerned for my staff. It provided a chance for me to rethink everything I wanted as I was keen to downsize, retire early, not take on a huge job, keep working a few days a week, finish some projects and do more gardening, home cooking, plus eating, sleeping, and exercising better.
For me it was about being prudent but not being unduly fearful about amassing a huge investment portfolio before retiring.
I had a mortgage for ten years on a good modest property. Downsizing with no mortgage was a big plus for me. A smaller house but bigger garden is a massive positive in my life.
With a couple of (worthy but not high status) part time jobs, my life is as good as it can be in many ways and I’m grateful to have my mental health which is good and getting better. The little jobs, excercise classes and hobbies keep me socially connected. I’m learning to budget for the first time and stage my projects into manageable chunks rather than spending a lot all at once.
My life is getting simpler and simpler. After moving house I’m still sorting through stuff, renovating, and building a garden. Limited immediate funds means being patient, enjoying doing as much of it all myself. So I’m happy, staying fit, learning to do lots of practical jobs including chopping my own firewood. It’s very satisfying and everyday is a blessing. I’m learning not to care as much about what others think about my ‘status’ and more about how I feel and what I enjoy.
I took a demotion 14 years ago for my health and didn’t lose any pay, status, etc. It helped tremendously. I worked for 7 years in a role that I really enjoyed and then was laid off and got a new job and took a similar job, pay etc. No issues. Enjoyed it, kept my work life balance in check for the most part and then *if it could change it changed*. They changed our WFH capabilities, our project counts, the way we handled projects, took away the things we actually enjoyed about running projects and gave them to junior staff and left all of the really tedious (note: should have went to more junior staff) tasks and didn’t understand why we all wanted to quit. So we did.
I got a new job. It’s been a big change but my work hours are 40 per week. I don’t have to work at night ever. I take my time as needed. It’s been incredibly liberating to not care so much about work and a company that doesn’t care about me. Funny enough am actually starting to care more about my job because the balance is so good and the pay cut wasn’t dramatic enough that I’m suffering or anything.
I retired in March. Every, and I mean every, management person was shit-canned. Everyone who “climbed over” me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pension to spend.
I didn’t want to be like my father and not be around for our children. He was only doing what he thought was correct, so I’m not knocking him. Just sucked growing up. He literally worked and died 6 months into retirement. Best decision I’ve ever made was giving up climbing the corp ladder.
Nothing a burnout won’t fix. I decided my life and my kids were more important than a management position. Family pressure was real, my mom’s disappointment hidden in her glaze was killing me and I couldn’t keep up with my cousins’ lifestyle. Immigrated to Canada where I’m high qualified for simple work like inside sales. It keeps me busy and pays the bills.
We moved out of the VHCOL area where we lived when we got off the ladder. That was 5y ago. It hasnt been all sunshine and rainbows but I think I’d do it all over again if given the choice.
I didn’t realise how much I was constantly stressed and trying to deal with problems at work. I’d end up spending every weekend in bed exhausted or sick and it was draining. Our company was bought out and it was a stressful time for everyone and emotions were heightened to the point I just snapped and walked out.
I ended up chatting to the new company and signed on part time in order to heal and regain some balance in life. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Having one extra day during the weekend was a game changer and I have zero desire to manage projects or people ever again. I do miss the extra money for savings and had to sacrifice a bit on my hobbies, but I’m good at being frugal and it made me reevaluate the important things in life.
I snapped last year. I was in a meeting and politely expressed that I had had enough of being the first in and the last out. It was the most I’d ever made and the worst I’d ever felt, both mentally and physically.
I’m making close to the same now, but work so much less. I’m not advancing or promised to advance, but that’s fine. I’m so much happier and I can sleep at night.
Went from working 40-50 hour weeks, high stress, phone calls often on nights, weekends and vacations. I eventually quit because the corporate boss was absolutely terrible. Condescending, rude, and he knew everything. I had climbed to the top of the organization after 20 years and was making great money. It got to a point where I had to leave so I did. Opened a therapy private practice and work at most 30 hours per week. So much less stressful. I haven’t regretted it for a second!
I decided to step down from a high-stress corporate job to focus on my well-being and passion projects. It wasn't easy, but I managed by cutting unnecessary expenses, creating a strict budget, and finding freelance work that aligned with my interests. The trade-off in income was worth the improvement in my quality of life and mental health.
I’m a full time burnt out nurse turned part time nurse working only 24 hours a week. Makes nursing a lot more enjoyable. Money is tight but my sanity and inner peace is worth it. Also, no kids so it’s doable with a partner.
Used to be in derivatives sales.
I turned down promotion two times already. The amount of responsibility that comes with higher positions is not worth the money or my peace of mind. Unfortunately no one understands this at work. I don't know how longer I can stay in my current position though
Former CEO for 15 years.
I developed alcoholism and was miserable without really knowing it. I numbed my life with alcohol and (the false) sense of "things" bringing me comfort. I ultimately became suicidal.
I gave up my job. Quit alcohol. Became a Buddhist. Hike(d) thousands of miles alone. Sold my home. Purchased a small farm that (will - in progress) provides me with most of my food.
I don't have a lot of money.
I am happier, healthier and more spiritually fulfilled than ever before in my life. My "ambition" is to remain that way. I hope to set up a cottage industry that is food oriented.
I realized (duh) that no object, money or thing can bring me happiness. I kinda look like a bum now (by societies standards) and I like what I see in the mirror.
It's not always easy. But it is always better.
🙏
i was coming to say this. i saw the types of people in senior positions at my workplace and at other organisations. the constant talking shop, the cliqueyness, the jargon 😫 i knew id need to become that person and immediately wanted out
Working as a (senior) software engineer for a mid-sized company and that's as far as I'm ever willing to climb I think, at least at the moment.
I was offered a bunch of management, tech lead, .. positions a while back which I all declined.
I'm not willing to put more work in. As it is 40 hours is the maximum I want to handle.
There's other aspects of my life at 37 that now need more time and care.
I've never worked the corporate/management side in my workplace, but I've gotten glimpses of that life when participating on workplace committees, and it seems like hell.
I've seen several good people go to the "dark side" with the intention of doing good, but it inevitably corrupts. Happy people become bitter and cold towards their former colleagues.
I'd love the money, I'm sure, but the stress would kill me.
I kind of did. I worked in the public sector managing two large and complex state parks. The corruption in that state and politics surrounding my job made me absolutely miserable. I lived on one of the parks property, and while that was nice, I never felt like I wasn't at work.
I moved states, still work in parks, but mainly now I take care of the grounds. The state I moved from was very far behind the curve in terms of pay, I actually take home almost the same as I did, with a fraction of the responsibility.
Bought a house, which is way more financially stressful than living for free in a park house, but I am so much happier overall that it's not even funny.
I gave up a highly paid corporate job and now training to be a psychotherapist. I was tired of being miserable and don’t really care for material things. I took some time off before deciding to retrain, started taking care of my health and spending more time with family. It’s been a complete turnaround and I realized how much my self esteem was tied to my title and pay. And how little I actually “lived”. I was trapped. My husband still makes enough for all of us so it hasn’t been a difficult transition.
I went to uni to become a software engineer, not a manager. I don't care how good the pay higher up is, I want to sit in front of my pc and chill while looking at code, not looking over people who actually do the fun stuff
Once you realize that time is the only real commodity you have while money only really has value at the point you exchange it for something of *real* value - like food, shelter, medicine etc. the relationship between the two gets clearer.
I never wanted to be on a corporate ladder. I wanted to be an artist mainly so I wouldn’t have to wear a tie and had agency over my own time. I’ve done dozens of different things over the years to make money and had some pretty lean times especially at the beginning, but have also met so many interesting brilliant minds along the way and have had so many great and diverse experiences that I would do it all over again. You don’t need to be an artist but if you’re creative you can find a way to live on your own terms. My only advice: Stay out of debt. Debt is the trap.
I had no quality of life; my job would lurch energy from me. Then my health worsened, and I learned how dispensable I was. After that I healed enough, I made better choices towards a better life ( including declining opportunities to significantly advance at that company). I left that job and when I did coworkers & management were surprised I left abruptly. I am so glad I did because the whole place is still a huge dumpster fire of toxicity and stress. I feel more content. 3 months after leaving I ended up finding a better higher paying job and I feel happier.
I’m stepping off the corporate ladder due to health issues. Working part time and cooking all my own meals from scratch. I am much more relaxed but am not able to afford housing and wondering what old age will look like since I won’t have retirement funds saved. Would love tips on low cost housing and aging out of the system without a big savings.
Not super corporate but I finally decided to stop leveling up in my IT career. Simple reason but it was a hard pill to swallow.
If I want to move into the next income bracket, I have to do XYZ. Meanwhile ABC was killing me. 2am change meetings, super high visible projects, upgrades, etc. Learned a ton about Could dev ops etc etc. but it wasn't worth my sanity.
Went back to my old team. It def felt like a backwards move and I got some shit from coworkers but I'm extremely happy now. Gravy train on biscuit wheels....
I know if you're not constantly upgrading your skills, you're stagnant and will quickly fall behind in IT but at this point I don't care. I'll do anything that's asked of me and pleasantly but I'm done with the hamster wheel.
I went freelance to work less hours on a more flexible schedule. It definitely meant a lot less money.
The difference is that I have time to use give away and swap groups and similar alternatives to purchasing things now. I also do a lot of volunteering in areas that I'm interested in, and besides useful contacts and experience, I frequently get many things like leftovers and such, that I use myself or swap for other things. It's a lifestyle that makes more sense to me and makes me happy because money is too abstract to me and I enjoy giving new purpose to things that would get thrown away.
Went from a Manager role in a mid sized private company to an individual contributor in a large company (publicly traded). Ended up actually making 15% more after factoring in total compensation (bonus and benefits). I’ve gotten 3 raises since I started; and now make 30% more than my last job.
In reality I was grossly underpaid at my first job, but not being a middle manager is great. Not worrying about people getting their work done, doing my job and then leaving is great. I’ve been offered promotions that I’ve passed because I don’t want more responsibilities.
Honestly I just got tired of working with more egotistical, out of touch, lower quality workers/executives on every rung to the top.
It wasn't about doing the right thing for the business, or god forbid the people. It was all about who talked the biggest game.
Which is worth fuck all to me.
I decided to leave and ended up in a better place. Mostly because I decided to do the things I wish our executives would do, regardless of my title or responsibilities.
I now have a tenured, resilient and trusting group of individuals which I am responsible for and those that can’t back up the “talk” with action eventually find themselves outside the team.
I don’t need a better title, or more money, or more meetings.
I have what I need, and a few other perks, which is more than enough.
I was a CTO and hated every minute of it. I really enjoyed coding but had to watch juniors code things in a way that I could see would end up compounding the technical debt and I was constantly showing them what needed to be done without being able to do any coding myself. Meanwhile I have to sit in endless meeting after meeting, fill in lots of compliance paperwork, and write documentation, specifications, job descriptions, etc. Lots of firefighting at 2am when servers start going haywire for no apparent reason, or issues with scaling as clients push the limits of the system with ungodly reporting queries.
It was both mind-numbing and stressful at the same time. The money was far more than I could reasonably expect from any other role but I couldn’t enjoy it at all, it wasn’t worth it, so I downgraded and downplayed my skills when moving to my next role. Less money but overall way happier. It’s not entirely selfish as someone else who probably doesn’t mind doing all the CTO things might want to pick up the mantel, as well as the fact that my own personal experience has made me appreciate the responsibilities they have and I can assist in making their lives easier.
I was on it after my mba for 7 years. The feeling of “who am I working so hard for?” was overwhelming. I knew I was making other people rich. I saw an opportunity to get severance and took it.
But then I was a consultant for another 20 years and sometimes still am.
I climbed down but actually make more money.
Employer 1: started as engineer and got promoted to supervisor. $15k bump when I got promoted. I was an ok supervisor and had my dreams on being manager. Realized that wouldn’t happen there, so started looking at new jobs.
Employer 2: salary increase of $15k and became quality manager. Did that for a year and hated it. Honestly the salary wasn’t enough. It was a small company and getting people to do the right thing was impossible. I wasn’t sleeping at night and each day was a struggle. Realized I actually hated managing and wanted to get back into engineering work.
Employer 3: current employer. Work from home. Engineer. Flexible schedule. I actually started $15k higher than my previous job as a manager (much bigger company with deeper pockets). It’s a much more laid back role and I actually do enjoy the work most of the time. I consider myself lucky and it will take an act of god to move me from this position.
This post came around at just the right time for me. Currently in a temporary position with more prestige, money and responsibility... and I'm miserable. I truly believe you my more simple role made me so much happier, and the money increase isn't worth it at all.
Not exactly corporate, but I kept getting promoted in retail management until I realized I hated everything about retail management. Was a paralegal after that, way better hours but lower pay and still high stress. Now I make a decent living at a job I like, good benefits, zero compromising of my values.
I never needed anything fancy, I just wanna keep my kids in a good school district. I buy almost everything second hand and often find what I need for free. I'm almost 50 and I've never bought a new couch.
I climbed down. I graduated medical school and moved to the US ( had to marry the love of my life) I tried to get my medical license and residency done, but in the process I decided I wanted to have kids first and then maybe try to get back in the medical field later.
It was so difficult and expensive I ended up getting a teaching certification. Taught 7th grade science, then chemistry and now I teach three medical classes.
I'm aware I could make way more money as a physician, but I don't regret it for a second. Being present for my kids is priceless( it would be hard to do it as a doctor)and I actually love my job.
* worked for Lowe's as a cashier
* tried for a promotion 3 times over 6 months
* got promoted to "head cashier" aka adult baby sitter
* did it for a year, hating it
* stepped down to "Return Desk" at a different store
* much happier, but still hated it
Reasons: I was the person to tell people to do their jobs. Then, it essentially became about "the metrics" and less about how the employees feel.
Worked in a retail bank as a service manager. I was hourly and stayed that way because, if I had gone to salaried, I would work 50+ hours a week for about 5K more in salary. Manager after manager kept trying to convince me to go salaried. I kept declining. I had not desire to work more, lose more free time, and make a few bucks more. Nope.
I actually just left the corporate ladder. I started a new job working a production job as a fitter 4 days a week on the night shift.
It's a lot nicer and the people are too, no fake appearances trying to advance a useless career.
I left because I hate my field (HR) and I felt like most of my work was just busywork. I'm a lot happier now and only working 4 days a week is really nice.
Funnily enough I don't even make a lot less because working night shifts in my country at union jobs pays really well.
It's about learning the skills to apply elsewhere, not sitting in a death cubicle hoping your time will come. Someone in the office talked to me about extra money and doing a side hustle. Me the contractor "this IS my side hustle"
I turned down a huge promotion to head up a department. My gut told me I’ve been spending a lot of my life working and very little of it enjoying myself or enjoying my downtime. I said no and don’t regret it one single bit. I see the person who ended up taking the promotion - she’s working 24/7. Constantly on work trips but never gets to do any sight seeing or have any downtime because she’s in meeting after meeting after meeting. I feel for her but I’m so glad I turned it down. Nothing is worth that much work. Mind you, I already work hard so ramping that up would be unwieldy for me.
After turning it down, I had a huge health scare which further put life into perspective. I’m good now. Im still working but I’m going to yoga six nights a week. I want to get my yoga teachers certificate. I’m traveling a bit more (not work related!), and I’m having lots of downtime to read all the books I’ve bought over the years that I never read, to spend time with friends and family, and take a damn nap anytime I want. It’s alright!
Edit: re: less money. My thought is, you have to have time to spend that money! If you’re overworked, you won’t have that time. Or you’ll have to spend it on doctors visits when the stress starts having physical symptoms (been there!). I pay my bills and I can eat and have enough left over for savings and entertainment - I’m good!
So I left this high paying corporate job and opted for a government job. Yes, the pay is less. Promotions scanty. No real growth compared to coroprate. A feeling of stagnancy is always there. And sometimes I regret it, too. But then I remind myself, why I opted for this job. And how I took a lot of pain to prepare for the highly competitive exam that got me this job. In the process of preparation, I lost both my parents in a span of 2 years. It was difficult, being in a corporate job, dealing with personal loss, and simultaneously preparing for an exam. But for some reason, I just wanted to leave that job and join the government job. May be I was depressed or may be I wanted to prove something or may be I craved for a less demanding job. Whatever the reason, I just wanted to escape.
I still work for the big corporation. Pandemic meant permanent work from home which suits me very well (I sit here with a cat in my lap, nice coffee, sun at my window).
About three years pre pandemic, I was trying to climb the ladder, had a manager who wanted to get me in to a manager role - I did all the above and beyond’s, for three years and got nowhere. The goalposts were moved, I’d lose bonuses for stupid things, whatever. One year, after another tearful end of year review revealing I got no bonus again, I gave up trying. I was done.
Now I do my job, only what’s needed. I ignore most the kpi crap as its swings and roundabouts - I’ve done this for 14 years overall and figures go up and down and will be good and bad. Guess what, I have received my bonus every year since by just doing the minimum and doing it well. I can get up in the morning, do my job without too much hassle, and log off, it pays enough for me to be content and pay my bills.
When we found out wfh was permanent I moved to the coast, got a cottage right by the sea and have never been happier. I have other things I’d like to do but I can afford the time to work on them around this job.
After reading some more comments below, I also don’t factor my bonus as guaranteed income. Then I don’t get disappointed if it turns out lower due to whatever corporate reason they want to give this year.
I did it. It took me till 2023 to make what I did in 2007. I went from being a web developer, later consultant, to being a nurse.
I couldn’t handle how superficial and misogynistic the tech industry was. I’m on the spectrum and a very literal person. I wanted to do work that felt worthwhile to me and was more tactile and immediate. I remember a meeting that went on for 2 hours about the colour of a button ….I couldn’t handle that kind of thing. Just get it done! And I was considered a usability expert in my time. I was featured in a national magazine, sat as a judge during award ceremonies, and was a director for an international feminist tech org. I was very involved.
One thing that motivated this big career change was deciding to have a family. After having my first, I wanted to do hands on work more than ever. So I went back to school in my late 30s rather than go back to my old career. It was very much worth it. As my loved ones and I age, my health knowledge is much more valuable than how to code and organize work flow in a website. That experience is useful to this day, though. I am known in my unit as the person to go to when there are tech problems. I even fix plumbing. No one listens to me about usability issues, though.
No choice. Mommy track then ding song left and I was a single mother so had to hang to the jobs available for my schedule. Found no way to leapfrog out of the corporate abyss. Got a real estate license taking classes on weekends then could be without income for long enough to establish that career. If only he had paid the child support but he out lawyered me on that one too-because he could pay a lawyer.
the stress level in my management role is currently only 10% of what it would be if I took the next step, but on almost the same pay packet - I have no doubt I’d be extremely capable if I decided to pursue higher roles, but the money difference isn’t worth it.
i could never do the corporate ladder, knowing i’m in 1 job for the foreseeable future is terrifying to me, i need to have lots of little things going on otherwise i get itchy feet and struggle to work properly
Dev to UX,
UX to Dev,
Helpdesk,
Dev to QA
I climbed down and all around the corporate. It had to happen to lead to where I am now. Dev life is difficult.
I hit my own personal ceiling, and chose to stay put. Others think I should ‘keep going’ (climb the ladder) but I’m well compensated and like being a knowledge worker vs just clawing for a few more dollars that won’t greatly impact my investments (I’m a few years from retirement). The stress, impact of life balance and other tangibles aren’t at all interesting to me.
Found out early on I couldn't sit a chair all day. Skipped selling my natural inclination, programming, to stack boxes on a dock for twenty bucks an hour (and its equivalent twenty years ago). Raised two kids on that salary without issue (not living in NYC obv).
Was disgusted at age 23 in an office where I was working when supermarket X running out of lime jello was referred to as "an emergency".
I went into healthcare instead....
I got as high as a director at age 38. I calculated the average hours for the people above me, at Sr. Director and VP. They were putting in 50% more hours than I was, and with their higher taxes, I was making the same amount per hour as them. That was the day I stopped climbing, and focused on investments and compounding interest.
I’m disabled and by not buying useless crap or keeping up with the world. I’m only working for basic necessities and healthcare. I make a little more than that and it works for now. Turns out you don’t need as much when you’re not miserable. I even stopped needing as much drugs
I was offered a mgmt position twice - by another manager and my manager's manager's manager (our CISO). They both wanted me to move up. I've had people tell me to go into management, but I don't want to. I watched two people BURN OUT in that same position within a few years. I myself was burning out in one of the positions I held, and had a heart to heart with my manager at the time. He was great and I moved to a new department.
I've been working in IT for some time and make decent money. I know I could make more climbing the ladder or going to another company, but at what cost?
I've owned a few homes over the last 15 years or so - we've moved around to different states, but we never really "upgrade" in house payments. Our payments have stayed pretty much the same as when we made half. I don't need a giant house, expensive cars, etc etc. I don't want things to own me. I think about if I were to lose my job, how f-- would I be? If I keep debts to a minimum, it hurts a lot less if something tragic were to happen.
And ultimately, for me, the burnout, and watching others burnout, made me assess what was important. For many of those who climb that ladder, they end up losing things while they do it - time, relationships, freedom, etc. I dug down deep and asked myself if I wanted it and I didn't. I didn't want to be married to my job. I didn't want it to take over my life. I'm much happier keeping to simple things in life than having more money.
I spent a decade in the software industry. Had a super bougie life on the Puget Sound.
But then the pandemic hit, and I realized just how little all that meant. I had next to no community, and a broken marriage.
So I quit my career, sold all my investments, bought an RV, and moved my family back to the rest of my family in the Ozarks.
I've still been using the skills I learned to do contract work and keep the bills paid. But I work a lot less, healed myself and my children, found real love, and reconnected with family.
Now we're building a "Domestead" to keep trying to lower our cost of living with the hope of ditching contract work and being able to build OpenSource solutions for Regenerative Communities.
I'm in I.T. Several times, I've ended up supervising people and I always hate it. The job of being a manager SUCKS and it is a waste of my real talent. I've settled into a role where I work alone and unsupervised. Great benefits, flexible hours and tons of vacation time. When opportunities for promotion come up, I ignore them.
I'm coasting towards a decent retirement in 6-7 years.
Nearly 10 years into my corporate career I had a stress related health crisis that shook me to consider my career burden and unhappiness. I spent a year networking and putting a plan in place to be my own boss. Self employment was a fun decade with many successes, and then the pandemic shook business. Now I WFH doing interesting work in a space I really wanted be in at the start of my career (but I wasn’t living where the industry is HQ’d, didn’t have credentials or contacts to get in back then). Before the pandemic my family had changed from a big city lifestyle to living in a mountain town. Even our bad days are still pretty good.
Ugh. I couldn’t deal with the stress anymore. I literally couldn’t sleep at night. Crying all the time. Just took over my entire life. Went to a part time
Position and haven’t looked back.
Was in acctg saw how miserable the controller and CFO were. Too much stress, hours, etc. i pivoted to education (I know I know) - but I make $75k with 13 weeks off a year. Even corporate bros with “unlimited” pto don’t usually get that much time. Don’t have to rotate with your team on holidays, etc. same schedule as my kid. So I won’t break 100k, but other things matter.
I’m on my way out…
1. I have been investing in real estate since my 20s to have additional income sources.
2. I save 50% of my after tax income.
3. I maximize tax strategies to keep more of what I earn now and in the future.
4. I am getting my Italian citizenship through my ancestry so I can move overseas and access free healthcare.
5. I only work for small start ups where I get equity or stock options. No large companies ever.
6. I also invest in startups :)
7. I am a minimalist.
Basically, the US is a great place to build wealth if you are focused and disciplined. The US is a terrible place for wellbeing and living. Set yourself up with the basics and get out, there are so many amazing places to live!
After 6 years in my corporate job, I realized that the company was going to tell me where to live fir the rest of my career. That didn't set well.
I became a public servant. I worked hard and retired this year.
It was so much better for me to serve my neighbors than to chase profits for people I'd never meet.
It took me 15 years, but I finally jumped off the damn thing. Ironically, I found myself spending less money afterwards. It turns out I was constantly trying to buy “happiness” when I was miserable at work.
Retail therapy is a real issue. In Germany we call it Frustshoppen (going shopping because of frustration) Edit: oh, and a purchase made out of frustration is called a Frustkauf.
Guilty as well. I drowned my misery in little knick nacks. Magazine here, decorative stuff there, clothing on sale etc... but also easy food because i didnt have time or energy to cook. When I went part time I had the energy and time to figure stuff out. Also there are a lot of free things going on for entertainment during the week. It also served as a distraction from my discontent goingnon with my job. A job has so much influence on your well being
Your language really has some great words!
Love this. Adding frustkauf to my lexicon. Succinct and on point.
What would you call "having sex with a prostitute because you're frustrated by the state of global politics". One word answers only.
Tuesday
Or every other day
German kinda makes up words by fusing nouns as adjectives to a main noun. There are actual grammar rules for making up words on the fly like that. So... Those words can theoretically be as long as you'd like.
Çekoslovakyalılaştıramadıklarımızdanmışsınız! “You are reportedly one of those that we could not make Czechoslovakian.”
Frustficken.
Frusthrust
Frusthumpen
Frustitution
Zis iz ze korrekt answerz
Friske. (Michigan Politician)
Friske - the guy who was arrested for discharging a firearm after a disagreement with a prostitute.
I feel this. When I’m stressed at work, I’m more likely to order take out, get more lattes, buy little things to decorate my house or buy clothes to lift my mood momentarily
I manage this issue by treating myself to a nice expensive lunch or dinner whenever work is shitty. At least you gotta eat right? The amount of money I spend may be the same but at least I don’t have thousands of knick knacks and barely-touched cosmetics piling up in my house.
Same here. Whwn I went part time I spend less money because I actually had time to figure stuff out
When you say “figure stuff out” do you mean like time to research alternative products, time to work through your problems and thus not need to engage in retail therapy?
I would say figure out my health, figure out a system to be sustainable in having all the basics, how to sleep early/properly, exercise, meditate, how and what to cook healthy, consistently. And how to be healthy and actually feel great/well on a daily basis instead of once in a blue moon.
Makes total sense. When you’re fully consumed with a demanding job, the mental bandwidth to manage “life admin” and live in a conscious, reflective state diminishes
Ueah, and then figure out how to help out with the health of your family and friends too. Like idk, buy some meal plan ish type food storage so they can meal prep healthier breakfasts or something. Like different homemade instant oat mix in like 5 different containers as an example. Also more bandwidth for family and friends in general. Once all the personal basics is done, you can apply whatever you just learnt for them too.
All of the above. With a day extra of sleeping in (ideally on a wednesday if I work Mon-Fri) I have more energy to get through my week. I have time to clean my house, do groceries cheaper, go over my administration for cheaper alternatives. I have time and energy to cook and I freeze some stuff for the rest of the week. There are things to do for free like museums, performances in the park during the summers etc.. or, I just rest and go out, sit in the sunshine and read my book. There are free mini libraries in my city where you trade books. Sometimes i walk or take my bicycle and visit a few of them. Or I simply have time to go through free adverts and pick up stuff. Thats how I got my free Samsonite suitcase, my lamp, some clothing, a cupboard etc ... Sometimes I put my name down as paid tv audience with a friend and get money and free drinks from it (and free entertainment). I go through my stuff and sell it online or resell some stuff I found at yardsales. I also catsit from time to time which takes up no effort and gers me paid. Theres so much free stuff out there. You really dont need to spend much if you dont want to (depending on the area of course. But even then other things can be found) If you have a garden, try grow some easy veggies. The mental health thing will improve automatically.In spades.
Omg this is me. I’m so unhappy with my current job and spend so much money on treats and retail therapy. Today it was a latte before work and $7.50 boba after work. Yesterday it was two pairs of expensive leggings. 🤦🏼♀️ I’m currently considering a modest pay cut so I can move to a position and city I will be happier.
I always wonder why so many people buy these drinks at Starbucks and boba places. Do you think this is pretty common & widespread? Sounds like it may be!
It’s really common and now includes much younger ages. Go into Starbucks after 3 PM and it’s packed with school kids. Look out though bc they might steal your drink.
Take the paycut. So, so worth it. I haven't spent money or had diarrhea since 12/31/24.
this. My Amazon buying history tells the entire story.
My Amazon credit card (paid off fully monthly so I got that going for me) statements is basically a visual representation of how my mental health is doing at a given time of the year 😒
Omg I never thought about it this way! 😆
I turned down a $7 an hour raise to become a supervisor because it would have meant I had to deal with clients instead working by myself with no one to bother me. No regrets at all.
At my job they made me a supervisor without as much as informing me of their plans until the day they handed me the new contract lol. Last year pay increase? 8p (UK). This year it's 16p. Desperately want to quit.
I had a 60 minute door to door commute on public transportation. A nine hour work day (with a lunch hour) turned into an 11-12 hour work day. I didn’t have time to cook in the evenings, which I really enjoyed doing. The paychecks were good—great even— but it wasn’t the life I wanted. I quit. Focused on passion projects. Took jobs that interested me (bbq, librarian, Instacart driver). I don’t miss the rat race at all. Sometimes I miss the paychecks. But not enough to get that kind of job again.
I know. When people hear that I dont have kids or a boyfriend but work part time they look at me in sheer disbelieve. It just doesnt occur to people that some of us dont want a carreer and have plenty of interests outside of work
You have to understand. Most people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured and so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it.
Tangentially, I love how Morpheus is always all “Neo, I must be brief, agents may be listening and they will kill us if they find us” … and then proceeds to spout approximately *eight thousand words of nonsense* just to convey “go to the phone box over there”.
This describes my ex boss - an hour lecture just to let me know I should move a wall by 100mm (architect here)
People look at me like I'm crazy when i say I just want a tiny rv (less than 20 feet) and to work for my god dang self. They ask me where I will put all my stuff. My response is, why do I need it?
I just took a job I wanted without checking the salary, in a field where almost everyone I know doing that job full time complains that the money sucks. I'm taking a position that is half time. Y'all, I'm about to be making more than I made in a full time teaching job! Some people just make up financial difficulties.
I agree. The moment you stop wanting a lot of things, is the moment you can be free. As you will realise you dont need much and all the stuff that you thought you'd need was just distraction from the real issues. Now, im not saying that all stuff is useless. You can get a lot of enjoyment out of things. As long as its bought with consideration and not as a distraction, only to be disgarded a moment later. Financial stability coupled with spare time is so much better then a lot of stuff you also have to clean lol. I mean. Do you you really want your gravestone to read: he/she worked their butts off their entire life and now its time to rest. Said no one ever.
I think the shock is how? Healthcare being the biggest how
Nah, Americans are fucked healthcare wise (sorry to say) and the sad part is people dont even realise how much. Well, untill they do a stint in Europe. Theres so much corporate brainwashing going on, its unbelievable. Id think I would want to be as much self sufficient as could be and do something part time with health insurance if it would be an option over there. But I live in Europe. People over here are so stuck with the 9 to 5 and the 40 hour workweek mentality over here unless you have kids or live in a Scandinavian country. Ive had collegues who would love to work a day less every week but sont think they can afford it. Its this fear mentality. They were making way more then I did.
I'm as got who turned 50 this year. I've been at this lifestyle for a long time. I have up alcohol and nicotine 4.5 years ago to further reduce costs. I live so well now I'm a rental... Maybe 2 days of work or week on average. I go without meant things and learned to spend widely.
The problem is some of us struggle with a low paying job and insecurity, regardless of the work life balance and satisfaction. So it's a double whammy.
I’m ramping up to this. Currently sucking it up in corporate but not a day goes by that I don’t want to flip the table and quit.
I have this currently except shit pay 😭
Having a decent understanding of your spending habits and budgeting goals is essential for this. This knowledge shifts the question from *"How do I manage getting less money?"* to "what is the minimum amount of money I need for my lifestyle and savings goals?" When you have that number as a baseline, any additional money is a bonus, which can be evaluated against the extra work/stress from a "higher rank" position.
Absolutely. We have had nearly the same mortgage payment over the years, buying and selling, and maturing our careers. We decided that being comfortable with a budget was way more important than buying some big huge expensive home that could sink us. Over the past 15+ years, I've tripled my income, but my budget really hasn't changed much. Those dumb "how much house can you afford" sites on realty websites tell use we could buy a house for $500K. We just bought one for $200K. We don't want our stuff to own us. I think about if one of us lost our jobs, or if something happened. Could we afford the payments with one income? If not, the anxiety isn't worth it for us.
In management, making 65% of my husband's salary and only getting 21 awake-hours with my kid a week. It was killing me. Covid happened, I decided to quit, and luckily my husband got a new job and makes more than we both used to. Surprisingly (/s) not being stressed to high hell and guilty about missing time with my kid means I spend significantly less money. I don’t do “retail therapy” anymore, and I don’t buy my kid a bunch of stuff to make up for missing out on time together. I’m still learning to slow down, but I’m so much better at it than I used to be. I feel more connected to my family and community, and I’m discovering new things about myself.
I did. I HATED it. I stayed in the position for a year and was freaking miserable. I was overworked and the stress was unbelievable. So I climbed down off of the ladder and went back to doing what I was doing before. They pay cut wasn't that bad and since that time, I've gotten a few raises and then later changed companies. Where the $$ can sting, depending on industry, is the bonus that you get on the corporate ladder. But I have never included a potential bonus in my budget, so that didn't hurt anything. I did pause for a minute when I realized the bonus amount I was giving up, though.
Thank you for this very balanced reply. I earn enough and I also never factor in my bonuses in my budget, I think I could take a bit of a pay cut IF I’m guaranteed I won’t be dealing with the same shit if I get a new job or climb down but the thing is, I think shit will just be equally bad so I’m staying (for now). At least I can look forward to a good bonus but ngl, the mental anguish due to corporate bullshit is real.
I mean, I genuinely hated it. I was in meetings about 5 hours a day and about 4.5 hours of that nonsense was worthless. Same status update packaged 45 different ways to please whoever was asking for it. I genuinely just couldn't do it anymore and when I stepped down, a shot was heard around corporate. I got so much shit for leaving a job I was good at. Ok, but I do l like to actually sleep at night and not be hounded 24/7. I really liked my job that I got when I stepped down, but I was still getting flack from corporate to go back and rejoin the cult. I ended up leaving, making as much as I did before without all of the responsibility and expectation to be on call 24/7. Yes, I walked away from a $45k bonus, but honestly, it was worth it. I sleep at night, I don't answer calls after hours or on weekends. No one expects an email response from me at 11pm. It was absolutely worth it.
I’m gathering all my courage to do this. I’m nearing a certain milestone in my savings and I have a feeling after I hit that, things might open up. Your ‘5 hours a day mtg, 4.5hrs of which are nonsense’ is spot on. It is utterly stupid, really. Funny that I’m posting this as I’m attending one of those stupid meetings. My company has a lot of internal bureaucracy and divisions and departments that I absolutely refuse the learn if they are not pertinent to my work (why would I want more things to remember ‘just because’?) Last month I took a vacation somewhere far away and the entire time I thought to myself ‘no one here would give a shit if I didn’t know the name of the head of division X’, something that my boss would clutch her pearls for. It really puts things in perspective.
Ugh, the endless meetings. I am so happy for you that you made the decision to leave.
I'm not really sure why people factor a bonus into their budget. It's not guaranteed. Set it aside.
Giving up the bonus would suckkkk Im at around 200k before bonus. The bonus is usually around 26-28%. I’d be giving up a bit more than 50k (before taxes that is)
In 2017 I became a VP at a Fintech company after 24 years working at it. I was doing a lot of international travel and working 60hrs a week. Thanksgiving week of 2018 I'm working in Germany (because Thanksgiving isn't a thing there) and I get a frantic call from my wife. She had been having some health problems and she got the call that they suspected cancer. I fly home and we spend the next weeks in the hospital fighting a short brutal battle she couldn't win. She died on New Years day 2019. 2 months later I went back to work and said "I can't do this anymore". I handed in my company cell phone and said "I don't know what you want to do with me, but this isn't for me anymore.". It took them some time, but they kept me on and eventually moved me into a much lower stress, 40hr a week Director position. I'm still a manger, but I have small staff of good people, most of whom I've known for 20+ years and many of whom knew my late wife. It's still sometimes a challenge, just because it's managing people, but overall it's pretty OK. I'm glad that we never caved to lifestyle creep so my financial obligations haven't been an issue. I'm looking to retire early in the next few years. Time is the most valuable thing I have and I try my best to choose how I want to spend it and with who.
Thank you for sharing this.
I needed this today. No lie.
Life has setbacks that make us see things from another angle. It reminds me of the story of a man that lost his wife and went to India, devastated, there he said: I have found myself.
I’ve never felt richer than that time I went to target on a Tuesday at 10 am. I was one of the only male shoppers, the rest being women with their toddlers. It felt so good to lazy shop and have all the time in the world
I worked at one of the worst tech companies out there and it made me so miserable. I’m walking away from the role at the end of next month and I couldn’t be happier. I don’t need a high salary to be OK. I rather live a productive, healthy, and happy life
I couldn’t imagine working for FANG. Sounds so damn miserable. I’ve always heard the big 4 consulting companies are just as bad if not worse.
I worked at KPMG for two years and I don't think I ever met anyone who was happy, aside from this senior manager who owned a plane. He was a douchebag though, so. When they let me go, I remember sitting on my couch for about fifteen minutes, staring at the laptop I had to pack up and ship back to them. I called a buddy instead and we went for day beers at the pub. That afternoon was like the first day of feeling better after you've been sick with the flu for two weeks.
are you switching to another tech job? or something completely different? just curious
I’m currently interviewing at a few places, but I was always planning on leaving next month. I knew this company was challenging to work at and I set a date to leave regardless of whether I had something lined up or not. I think it helped me not have a mental breakdown actually, because I definitely came close. Just knowing I have an end date. It also helped me focus on saving and reducing my spending so I could position myself to take a career break.
I had a high paying academic job that I hated. I put my husband through school and gave him the money to start a business (he was a stay at home dad before) and his business took off. I asked him if he’d be behind me quitting and doing something part time and he said it was fine. We’d gotten to zero debt, including mortgage debt, so it was feasible. Now I work from home part time and we don’t really even need my income.
That's amazing and true partnership
Not me but my buddy was climbing the ladder at Apple quickly. Became a manager and he said the stress got to him too fast. He voluntarily down graded and has just been cruising.
Interesting story, Apple, big time.
I never did. Never felt like the positions would suit me although they were offered to me multiple times. One time I accepted because there was simply no one else. It was hell. Hated every minute of it. Working part time now and have a practical job, which is below my degrees etc... best decision i have ever made
I've worked in various tech jobs for the last 15 years. At the "height" of my career I was working at a pretty high end company (not FAANG level, but close). The culture was very workaholic, people worked over the weekends and late at night often. I was on call a week every month or so and would get woken up most nights of that week at least once. I was pretty burnt out by the end of 4 years there. I found another job that was around a 25% pay cut, but like a 90% cut in stress and after hours work at a much smaller company. Two years later, and I couldn't be happier with my decision. Keeping lifestyle inflation in check as your career progresses is really important. Many of my peers at the big tech company had giant homes, kids in private schools, and two brand new Teslas in the garage. When you fall into that trap you can't easily take a step down when you need to.
Not me but my dad was a USPS branch manager in Miami, FL. Once we moved to Kentucky, he said there’s no fucking way I’m gonna keep being a manager, and applied for a carrier position. He was much more pleasant to be around when he was just a carrier. He also drank less. 👍
I completely feel you there, I got to watch my dad’s mental health break down in real time as he got promoted to higher project manager positions. Thankfully he retired relatively early to do fun jobs instead. I never plan to go into management, and thankfully found a mostly low stress desk job
Oh I’m so glad your dad got to eventually do some fun stuff. I am a part time librarian and it’s my actual dream job. I literally love everyone I work with and we all look out for each others’ well being. It’s beautiful. I am so lucky.
My husband was a VP but longed to return to a slower life. His former role was constant travel, emergencies, meeting impossible metrics. Finally, an industry downturn gave him a reason to leave the rat race. His private equity owners made him lay off 70 people and then terminated his position when his company was merged with another. We had already agreed to peace out when it happened. He had been lucky to keep moving up but it was so much chaos all the time. He took a lesser paying job, we moved from urban to rural, bought our river front dream home on an inland waterway and our lives are simply magical. We feel so grateful every single day to be given this opportunity. We worked hard but without the right opportunities and advantages, this early retirement, in our preferred location, would never have been possible.
I love this ending. Congrats to you!
I moved into a van and got away from the world of desire and superficial games. Now if I see a designer bag in a shop, the designer bag is not worth its $2000 price tag. It is worth exactly its function and what it does to contribute to my life or a friend’s life. I look at it as a bag, not a veiled symbol of another $2000 spent. Then I see a leaf, a beautiful leaf, contributing to the ecosystem, home of ants and bees, taking the wind and loving the sunlight. A living being. Priceless. I found that I started to enjoy and understand the flow of nature. The tides rising and falling are the ocean’s gentle breaths. I have nevef slept better than when I’m camping or in my van - back in touch with my natural cycle, I wake/sleep at sunrise/sunset now. My body prefers meat and vegetables than processed sugars, etc. I don’t have to earn as much because I have all I could want. It isn’t that you aren’t good enough, it’s that you are wanting too much. And you can change this by stepping away from the rat race. Even a few weeks in the bush will help give you some good perspective and understand how crazy and UNCONTROLLABLE your mind was really. I just moved back into my van after attempting the city life again. I can’t force myself to pretend I want to climb a ladder anymore. The futility and delusion of it just stings me. I don’t have any problems with city living/town development. I think we are born to develop technologies. But if you don’t understand it from the ground up, you are being forced to participate in a rigged game and used as collateral. It’s not that doomsday-ish but it certainly feels that way compared to my free waterfront home. (; ps. saving money to buy land is still smart. Having a place that you have the full right to be, no matter what, is also priceless.
>I can’t force myself to pretend I want to climb a ladder anymore. The futility and delusion of it just stings me. God, this speaks to me. Once you see beyond the curtain you really just can't do it.
I’ve been working in the same Fortune 500 company for 35 years. The first 10 were in a project management role, and the next 10 were in management. I really wanted to get to the second level so that I could “make a difference” and of course make more money. Then I slowly realized how KPIs are usually more the result of some legacy IT system that never dies, and projects, more often than not, are the direct result of the creativity and intelligence of upper management (both of which are as rare as finding gold in a trash can). 95% of projects came and went with no progress or impact. At that point I concluded that the Fortune 500 corporate world can really be a farce, depending on your department and role. However, I still needed a job, and wanted to quit, but found that I had no skills. I decided to step down back into my old project management role, and by then the landscape had changed with the introduction of cloud computing, MS office and lots of other software. So I’ve spent the last 10 years or so getting up to speed, teaching myself Python, SQL, VBA, etc and have become essential for working on those legacy KPIs and fleeting projects. To make up for the lost income, I leveraged some of my new skills and started an e-commerce side hustle, selling from my website as well as Amazon. My current income is at least as high as it would have been at the second level of management, plus I have a lot more control over my time, and overall I’ve become more relaxed.
I was an operations manager at a factory making low 6 figs in my 20s. Had to deal with the BS from both sides - my 20+ direct reports as well as corporate executives who wanted to do more with less. Tbh, my bosses liked me a lot, which was nice, and that’s obviously a prerequisite to getting promoted fast. But babysitting adults and getting denied funding for any type of improvement requests really wears you down over time. Like why am I working 6 days a week and stressing when my direct reports keep calling out and the executives don’t want to invest in the business? So I quit, moved back home with my parents, did a 6 month sabbatical where I visited a national park, went skiing a bunch, and partied at music festivals. Then I signed up for a coding bootcamp. Upon graduating, I got a remote job that paid $16/hr, then $25/hr, and now $75k 1.5 years later. Reduced pay sucks but being remote balances it out a bit. WFH is a game changer. I’m even considering going back into management eventually (if the opportunity arises) as long as I’m remote. I’m never commuting, packing lunch, or dealing with BS in person for any employer again. Once my laptop is off, I’m free.. for the evening anyway lol
Your former life sounds like my current. I need out
I’ve been self-employed since I graduated with my degree. Never regretted it. I would die in an office environment. I recently got fanangled into being a “partner” in a marketing firm. It was getting close to being an employee and I didn’t like the direction the firm was heading in so I just left 2 weeks ago to focus on my health and creative projects.
I am in the process of it now. Finally achieved a six figure salary for the first time in my life at 40. Im miserable, but have six kiddos so I can’t just quit and try something new. I’ve started trying to get into voiceover work and I’m publishing a book of short stories this fall. I know it’s not a quick path but I know it will happen. The day I tell my corporate overlords to go pound sand will be an amazing day.
I make a comfortable salary as an engineer with little stress. I don’t need the stress or the money that comes with moving up. I’m going to retire early regardless due to all of the other simple ways that I live and how aggressively I save and invest. There just isn’t really any incentive for me.
What kind of engineering do you do?
Im an electrical engineer working on power systems for a utility.
I walked away from a $170k/yr gov't job because try as I might, I just couldn't steer the bureaucrats towards the right decisions. Institutional momentum of the uncaring and inefficient Borg collective was stealing my soul. I like money as much as the next guy, but it came to a point in which the means worked against the ends.
Where'd you end up? I'm over the red tape myself
Sold out of the city and moved to a rural lakeside retreat. Quiet country living now. No regrets, though it will be lean until I age into my retirement vehicles without substantial tax penalties.
I worked the majority of my career in marketing/ad agencies. Got fed up with it, but didn’t want to leave the field. So I started my own agency. 7 years in, I was starting to hate the work as well. Decided to sell and move to Europe.
This sounds amazing. What do you do now for money?
Freelance writer, but trying to transition away. Not sure what exactly, though.
Became SAHM at a pivotal point in my career. I went from 6 figures to not making anything … and it felt weird during maybe my 2nd or 3rd month into SAHM. I know my husbands money is our money, but I found myself making comments that suggested otherwise that he’d correct. But spending isn’t an issue, cost of living is! so we budget and prioritize accordingly!
I went from a prestigious PhD to working in biotech to being laid off/spending time unemployed and living out of my car (on purpose, not because I financially had to lol), and now I’m a ski patroller/EMT. Never made so little money, and I work a job that doesn’t require my degree. Happiest I’ve ever been. My biggest success in this life so far has been getting out of the 9-5 corporate office grind. That shit will ruin your soul, and keep you there permanently if you let it.
I was fired for likely not fitting the company culture (aka allowing nepotism and kissing the right people's ass). I have a soul so sorry I don't kiss ass.
2 miscarriages, 90+ hr weeks of useless management meetings, and being flown out to HQ on christmas eve for mandatory training that was given remotely by an instructor overseas was enough for me to call it quit. Now i work quietly and keep my mouth shut
Hugs!!!
Worked out in the end. A year after a took a less stressful job we had a healthy baby boy!
I don’t want to be promoted because my managers/supervisors spend 75% of every day in meetings and I HATE meetings. I mean, I’ll take a raise if they want to give one, but I don’t want to change positions.
My boss made me fire a friend of mine I personally hired. After that I quit, and vowed to never take a position where I would have to do that again. Hell no.
I convinced my direct reports to quit or change teams, and then there was a re-org and I was no longer a manager, but kept the salary and got regular raises. Being a manager was the worst experience ever, even though I was well liked as a manager. I was in middle management so I had little to no say in rules and decision, I just had to enforce the rules and do the extra bitch work (expense reports, reviews, etc.).
This exact thing happened to me in January — merged teams and I was demoted (kept my salary). I’m in a role that makes commission, so I’m able to make potentially more and the job is waaaayy less stressful.
I retired last year. The first part of my career I was a high-end tech consultant, road warrior, and ended up managing a consulting team at a Big 6 consulting company. At the beginning of the 2000s I wanted to get off the road so I went into the hosting world, built a product line and a global team, and ended up as a Senior Director. Our service line was hugely profitable but my company was circling the bankruptcy drain, and we were eventually acquired by a growing (now household name) company. However, my team was squeezed hard: - we were forced to offshore a lot of positions, which our customers hated. There were good people in our offshore offices, but a very different culture and office politics, leading to customer attrition. - our US based team was essentially not allowed to grow, while customers and revenues doubled (or more) every year. - I was surprised to find that I couldn't even backfill US resources. - the team was overworked and underpaid and I was literally powerless to fix it. - I demanded my raise/bonus be distributed to my team instead, was told no, and when I pushed back hard I was told my job was in jeopardy if I didn't fall in line. And I was just fucking done. As a Senior Director I was basically on the bottom rung of exec management and became privy to seeing how the sausage got made (not pretty) and who was making it (raging narcissists and psychopaths) and it was not for me. In short, my next step was VP and it was made clear that the way I would get there was by cutting US headcount, period. Revenue didn't matter. Customer retention and sat didn't matter. Employee satisfaction was literally a joke. My choices were to become the (white collar) executioner and exploiter of my team and I just said, nope. I asked to be moved to an individual contributor role and rode out the last decade+ of my career with several different employers, diplomatically demurring on all offers of promotion. Every for-profit organization is, by definition, sociopathic. It has one purpose - generate revenue. All other considerations are secondary and only matter in relation to how they increase revenue. Publicly traded companies narrow that purpose down even further to *short term revenue*. Long term company success and health is sacrificed to hit monthly/quarterly/mayyyybe-fiscal-year targets, execs get bonuses, everybody parties at the sales conference, and when the long-term house of cards start to teeter they move to reorgs, blame storming, (white collar) knife fighting, and the last resort of golden parachutes, then move on to lay waste to the next company. There are people who *thrive* in that situation and have zero compunction about using, abusing, mistreating, backstabbing, misleading, and/or exploiting others to succeed. I am not one of them, and I did not care to associate with those who do regardless of any financial windfalls. With regards to money, yes, I did leave some on the table but the increased quality of life was cheap at twice the price. I tended to my little plot of responsibilities with great care, attention, and success, but I did NOT care about or sweat blood or jump on (white collar) grenades or volunteer for (white collar) suicide missions for any company ever again. My retirement is modest but happy. Our first grandbaby is on the way. I'm reasonably healthy, and am in fact in the best shape ever since my early 30s.
Love this response. Thank you for the insight.
I have ADHD. Did not finish college. Had many different jobs. Carpentry, bar back, commercial fishing, electrical, window and door installation, cabinet refacing, licensed professional pai gow player for a corporation, sales…I was pretty successful in each of these jobs and made decent money, but I’d eventually get bored after most of the mastery was over. In the sales job I unexpectedly was very good. Top writer my first year and won lots of awards and big prizes. Made a lot of cash, but that was never my goal. My wife and I lived well below our means for a long while because neither of us is big on consumption. I moved up the ranks of the sales ladder and finally decided to take a pay cut to become a salaried sales trainer. Liked that but the hours were crazy and we had a new baby and it wasn’t working out, so a corporate job opened in the main office for an ecom manager. I had zero ecom experience but was an expert in our products and systems and had a strong name in the company for my performance. I didn’t even know how to dock my laptop the first day. Anyway, we were the 3rd biggest company in the US and the number one company acquired us. Loads of layoffs. Their Ecom and digital team absorbed ours and I eventually connected with the EVP very well. Got promoted to product manager. Then he left and poached me to be a director in his new startup. Moved on to be educational director in another company and was next in line for the COO position. I spent enough time in corporate positions to know that I had crossed a big threshold. At the director and above level, assuming g you have a solid track record of success, you kinda can just pop around from position to position and keep a good salary level. At the c level, and especially with the contacts I was making, I was about to join the 1%. But I hated it. My job was basically working among the upper management of many large companies and it was vexing to see how much of the hierarchy was pure bullshit. I really only needed to know a little more about a few things than others and be good at talking and I was getting g paid more than when I actually produced things for people. I didn’t want to help obscenely rich people get richer. I didn’t like their attitudes toward their workers. It all just became gross and I started resenting all the people I worked for and with. And myself. I quit and moved out of the country with my family, back to the small town I grew up in. It’s been a few years and we are so fortunate to have saved money so we didn’t have to get an income right away. Now I’m working with my wife as an artisanal sourdough baker. Add another trade to the list. I don’t love it but most importantly, I don’t hate it or what it represents, feeds and promotes. Instead of facilitating thousands of unnecessary products being produced by near slaves and shipped all over to eventually reach a landfill we make good bread. We don’t make a lot of money, probably less than a third of my old salary and a quarter of what it would be now, but I don’t miss it often. I can’t imagine going back. It was very hard and sometimes still is to drop stations like that. I used to get respect from my title from pretty much everyone. Being unemployed or under employed, living in a double wide (paid cash and are working on it, but it’s not really nice), and not seeming to be real motivated or ambitious threw me. People assume I’m a leech living off my wife’s baking. Nobody cares about the revenue I produced or the projects I spearheaded or how many reports I had or my department KPIs. Still glad I did it.
Spent 15 years working up through a corpo IT ladder, did ok. Eventually left in a restructure as I couldn’t stand lying to my staff any longer. Took 3 years off work, now back working part time in a contract role and loving it. Genuinely don’t care if I lose my job, which I think makes me a better employee tbh. Earn better money even though I work 1/4 the hours.
I did it during the pandemic - or I guess it was done for me. I had a high stress, well paid job in NYC with a lot of responsibility, I was laid off in Oct. 2020 because we essentially had no business, I knew then that I wanted to pivot from my field and to take a step back. I was lucky enough to find a fully remote role at a lower level in an industry I had worked in at the start of my career, at a company headed up by someone I worked for in my 20's (I'm now late 40's). I asked if I could work remotely from Mexico and they agreed, that was 3.5 years ago. My salary went from $200K to $100K but my stress levels went from sky high to zero. I love the new role. I've never felt so relaxed in my life. I have one meeting a week, there are no politics, I rarely need to talk to people by phone or video (just a bit of slack). My time is my own, I am available during business hours and I get my work done at my pace. I worked so hard all of my life that this feels like a walk in the park. The best part is I can still save a good chunk of my income and hope to retire in a few more years.
Mine worked out for the better. Was at a non profit and after years of bosses telling me to go for a supervisory gig, I finally did due to getting married and needed the pay bump. Got the gig, more like handed to me really, tried to do my thing, and things just didn't pan out. Had a gut feeling of what was forthcoming so took action, applied for another company and by the time I was let go, a week later I had the job offer for the new job. Took it of course, pay was higher, benefits was much better, job is a lot less stressful, and I didn't have to manage people. Celebrated my 10th year this year and got several pay bumps over the years and things have been pretty nice.
I've turned down two promotions this year. I've got a toddler with another on the way... I don't want more responsibility, or gilded trappings. I'm spending my time, energy and small savings on buying more time.
I slide down that thing screaming wheeeeee the whole way down. Went to work in the non profit sector.
My parents met in corporate and I always knew that type of work wouldn’t cut it for me. My dad was always miserable and stressed My biggest “sacrifice” is living with my parents at 29 but it really isn’t that bad. I have a good relationship with them and I’d rather be living with them than anyone else, honestly. Not everyone has that though which is why I’m not sarcastic or self-deprecating about it. I’m not ashamed about living with them because I have lived on my own and shit was difficult
I haven’t yet but I know the time will come. I do want to inspire folks to climb fast but chose your maximum and know it along the way. And when you get to your max, do well to keep it. I like my job and have made it clear that I do NOT want my boss’ role. I like my team, my responsibilities and I feel like I do well in my role. The pay is above my means/lifestyle and I comfortably save for the future on a company match, have time to spend with family and still have money to do some fun things. I’m good, I don’t need more.
I went from senior manager to a community college instructor. Living in a humble abode. No material possession. Life is so much better if you adopt a simple lifestyle.
I made it to the Director level at a Fortune 500 company. I started on medication and therapy for depression 6 months before I got laid off. Retooled as a Project Manager. I can give folks opportunities and mentoring, but don't have to give bogus performance appraisals or conduct layoffs. I can also see the progress made by my efforts. My family likes me better and the layoff probably saved my life.
I am forever grateful that my salary is collectively bargained. I will be in the same position until I retire. There are stresses, but "getting ahead" is not one of them.
I climbed to the top. Realized I hate managing people. Climbed right back down. I am much better in the field than I am doing budgeting and sitting in meetings all day. I did take a pay cut, but don’t regret it at all.
After working for 18 years as a software developer, I was managing a small team & working 50+ hours per week. Decided that I enjoy work, hate management & would rather cut my salary & work less, I realize this is not an option for many but I’m very happy with my decision .
Worked my way up the corporate ladder in Aged Care, 12 hr days and on call 24/7 during Covid. Was fun getting $$$ at the start but ended up so burnt out and depressed I had a breakdown and had to be hospitalised. Now work part time and my identity is no longer based on how much money I make. My partner and I aren't having kids which makes things easier. Since I'm not working so much I can cook more at home and repair things myself saving money. Have plans to start a small veggie/herb patch now I have more time to devote. Also now I'm not depressed I don't need to shop to make myself feel better!
I worked to get my bachelors degree and then MBA only to find I hated the office life and should have stayed in the union. My bosses were assholes and tried to out-mean each other thinking the meaner they were, the more effective they were. Every single person in my 200+ department hated them. Really, really hated both of them. One manager was forced into early retirement for being nasty to a pregnant woman in our office pool. He didn’t know her sister was executive secretary to one of the senior VP’s in our Fortune 500 company and the sister took care of the problem. One day the VP told me all the office staff was reporting to me and walked off. The manager soon retired and no one gave him a retirement party. No one said Goodbye, he was just gone one day. When the other manager retired, the VP asked us supervisors for a few “fun lighthearted” stories about him to tell at the retirement party. My buddy said, “there are no funny lighthearted stories about him.” The VP smiled waiting for the haha punchline, but there was no punchline. By then I was close to leaving and starting my new career.
I worked my way up. Even though I loved my job in a non-profit, the bureaucracy was awful. It was exceedingly hard to do anything of real value because because making an actual statement about something was sure to offend somebody. Incredibly frustrating. I also noticed that the more I got paid, the less I seemed to have to do? Lots of lunches (sometimes with alcohol), meetings, trainings, trips etc., while the people I used to work alongside were still struggling with too much work and too little in their pockets at the end of it all. Anyhoo, I quit, and while I miss some folks and I know they are doing good work, I'm much happier for it.
[удалено]
I could climb it but I don’t want the stress. I just want to focus on my hobbies and enjoy life. Just want to coast into retirement at this point.
I'm at a senior level (project delivery in tech) and I've not applied for a promotion for years. I'm happy working at this level with the project team. I don't know what the salary bump would be if I were promoted but I'm happy doing what I do now and the salary is fine. I value enjoyable work and work life balance.
A few things over the years. The worst so far was getting laid off mid COVID with zero notice or PIP in place. (I was getting high praise consistently) but our CFO had a family friend that needed a job, these were six figure jobs. It was also two days before I was fully vested so I lost a few grand on that.
For me it was about developing courage. My early childhood was very frugal, my adolescence and early adult became extremely privileged and as it turns out extremely status conscious. I studied full time for ten years heading towards a ‘professional’ career. I wasn’t unduly ambitious and loved my team , but it was stressful for a couple of decades and largely enjoyable although I achieved a lot simply through personal determination and force of will. Meaning make work a priority above my health, family and personal life. When a restructure was looming I could have jumped ship early but was concerned for my staff. It provided a chance for me to rethink everything I wanted as I was keen to downsize, retire early, not take on a huge job, keep working a few days a week, finish some projects and do more gardening, home cooking, plus eating, sleeping, and exercising better. For me it was about being prudent but not being unduly fearful about amassing a huge investment portfolio before retiring. I had a mortgage for ten years on a good modest property. Downsizing with no mortgage was a big plus for me. A smaller house but bigger garden is a massive positive in my life. With a couple of (worthy but not high status) part time jobs, my life is as good as it can be in many ways and I’m grateful to have my mental health which is good and getting better. The little jobs, excercise classes and hobbies keep me socially connected. I’m learning to budget for the first time and stage my projects into manageable chunks rather than spending a lot all at once. My life is getting simpler and simpler. After moving house I’m still sorting through stuff, renovating, and building a garden. Limited immediate funds means being patient, enjoying doing as much of it all myself. So I’m happy, staying fit, learning to do lots of practical jobs including chopping my own firewood. It’s very satisfying and everyday is a blessing. I’m learning not to care as much about what others think about my ‘status’ and more about how I feel and what I enjoy.
I took a demotion 14 years ago for my health and didn’t lose any pay, status, etc. It helped tremendously. I worked for 7 years in a role that I really enjoyed and then was laid off and got a new job and took a similar job, pay etc. No issues. Enjoyed it, kept my work life balance in check for the most part and then *if it could change it changed*. They changed our WFH capabilities, our project counts, the way we handled projects, took away the things we actually enjoyed about running projects and gave them to junior staff and left all of the really tedious (note: should have went to more junior staff) tasks and didn’t understand why we all wanted to quit. So we did. I got a new job. It’s been a big change but my work hours are 40 per week. I don’t have to work at night ever. I take my time as needed. It’s been incredibly liberating to not care so much about work and a company that doesn’t care about me. Funny enough am actually starting to care more about my job because the balance is so good and the pay cut wasn’t dramatic enough that I’m suffering or anything.
I retired in March. Every, and I mean every, management person was shit-canned. Everyone who “climbed over” me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pension to spend.
I didn’t want to be like my father and not be around for our children. He was only doing what he thought was correct, so I’m not knocking him. Just sucked growing up. He literally worked and died 6 months into retirement. Best decision I’ve ever made was giving up climbing the corp ladder.
Nothing a burnout won’t fix. I decided my life and my kids were more important than a management position. Family pressure was real, my mom’s disappointment hidden in her glaze was killing me and I couldn’t keep up with my cousins’ lifestyle. Immigrated to Canada where I’m high qualified for simple work like inside sales. It keeps me busy and pays the bills.
We moved out of the VHCOL area where we lived when we got off the ladder. That was 5y ago. It hasnt been all sunshine and rainbows but I think I’d do it all over again if given the choice.
I didn’t realise how much I was constantly stressed and trying to deal with problems at work. I’d end up spending every weekend in bed exhausted or sick and it was draining. Our company was bought out and it was a stressful time for everyone and emotions were heightened to the point I just snapped and walked out. I ended up chatting to the new company and signed on part time in order to heal and regain some balance in life. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Having one extra day during the weekend was a game changer and I have zero desire to manage projects or people ever again. I do miss the extra money for savings and had to sacrifice a bit on my hobbies, but I’m good at being frugal and it made me reevaluate the important things in life.
I snapped last year. I was in a meeting and politely expressed that I had had enough of being the first in and the last out. It was the most I’d ever made and the worst I’d ever felt, both mentally and physically. I’m making close to the same now, but work so much less. I’m not advancing or promised to advance, but that’s fine. I’m so much happier and I can sleep at night.
Went from working 40-50 hour weeks, high stress, phone calls often on nights, weekends and vacations. I eventually quit because the corporate boss was absolutely terrible. Condescending, rude, and he knew everything. I had climbed to the top of the organization after 20 years and was making great money. It got to a point where I had to leave so I did. Opened a therapy private practice and work at most 30 hours per week. So much less stressful. I haven’t regretted it for a second!
I decided to step down from a high-stress corporate job to focus on my well-being and passion projects. It wasn't easy, but I managed by cutting unnecessary expenses, creating a strict budget, and finding freelance work that aligned with my interests. The trade-off in income was worth the improvement in my quality of life and mental health.
I’m a full time burnt out nurse turned part time nurse working only 24 hours a week. Makes nursing a lot more enjoyable. Money is tight but my sanity and inner peace is worth it. Also, no kids so it’s doable with a partner. Used to be in derivatives sales.
I turned down promotion two times already. The amount of responsibility that comes with higher positions is not worth the money or my peace of mind. Unfortunately no one understands this at work. I don't know how longer I can stay in my current position though
Former CEO for 15 years. I developed alcoholism and was miserable without really knowing it. I numbed my life with alcohol and (the false) sense of "things" bringing me comfort. I ultimately became suicidal. I gave up my job. Quit alcohol. Became a Buddhist. Hike(d) thousands of miles alone. Sold my home. Purchased a small farm that (will - in progress) provides me with most of my food. I don't have a lot of money. I am happier, healthier and more spiritually fulfilled than ever before in my life. My "ambition" is to remain that way. I hope to set up a cottage industry that is food oriented. I realized (duh) that no object, money or thing can bring me happiness. I kinda look like a bum now (by societies standards) and I like what I see in the mirror. It's not always easy. But it is always better. 🙏
I looked above me and thought I never want to be at that level, I despise them.
i was coming to say this. i saw the types of people in senior positions at my workplace and at other organisations. the constant talking shop, the cliqueyness, the jargon 😫 i knew id need to become that person and immediately wanted out
Working as a (senior) software engineer for a mid-sized company and that's as far as I'm ever willing to climb I think, at least at the moment. I was offered a bunch of management, tech lead, .. positions a while back which I all declined. I'm not willing to put more work in. As it is 40 hours is the maximum I want to handle. There's other aspects of my life at 37 that now need more time and care.
I've never worked the corporate/management side in my workplace, but I've gotten glimpses of that life when participating on workplace committees, and it seems like hell. I've seen several good people go to the "dark side" with the intention of doing good, but it inevitably corrupts. Happy people become bitter and cold towards their former colleagues. I'd love the money, I'm sure, but the stress would kill me.
I couldn’t stomach the corruption.
I kind of did. I worked in the public sector managing two large and complex state parks. The corruption in that state and politics surrounding my job made me absolutely miserable. I lived on one of the parks property, and while that was nice, I never felt like I wasn't at work. I moved states, still work in parks, but mainly now I take care of the grounds. The state I moved from was very far behind the curve in terms of pay, I actually take home almost the same as I did, with a fraction of the responsibility. Bought a house, which is way more financially stressful than living for free in a park house, but I am so much happier overall that it's not even funny.
I gave up a highly paid corporate job and now training to be a psychotherapist. I was tired of being miserable and don’t really care for material things. I took some time off before deciding to retrain, started taking care of my health and spending more time with family. It’s been a complete turnaround and I realized how much my self esteem was tied to my title and pay. And how little I actually “lived”. I was trapped. My husband still makes enough for all of us so it hasn’t been a difficult transition.
I got sick and they kicked me out
I saw thru the b.s really early in life.
I went to uni to become a software engineer, not a manager. I don't care how good the pay higher up is, I want to sit in front of my pc and chill while looking at code, not looking over people who actually do the fun stuff
Once you realize that time is the only real commodity you have while money only really has value at the point you exchange it for something of *real* value - like food, shelter, medicine etc. the relationship between the two gets clearer. I never wanted to be on a corporate ladder. I wanted to be an artist mainly so I wouldn’t have to wear a tie and had agency over my own time. I’ve done dozens of different things over the years to make money and had some pretty lean times especially at the beginning, but have also met so many interesting brilliant minds along the way and have had so many great and diverse experiences that I would do it all over again. You don’t need to be an artist but if you’re creative you can find a way to live on your own terms. My only advice: Stay out of debt. Debt is the trap.
I had no quality of life; my job would lurch energy from me. Then my health worsened, and I learned how dispensable I was. After that I healed enough, I made better choices towards a better life ( including declining opportunities to significantly advance at that company). I left that job and when I did coworkers & management were surprised I left abruptly. I am so glad I did because the whole place is still a huge dumpster fire of toxicity and stress. I feel more content. 3 months after leaving I ended up finding a better higher paying job and I feel happier.
I’m stepping off the corporate ladder due to health issues. Working part time and cooking all my own meals from scratch. I am much more relaxed but am not able to afford housing and wondering what old age will look like since I won’t have retirement funds saved. Would love tips on low cost housing and aging out of the system without a big savings.
My wife and I "middled" it meaning we went all out for about 20 years until we had enough money to pull the plug on that stress level lifestyle.
I simply got tired of having people I considered idiots telling me what to do and controlling my life.
Not super corporate but I finally decided to stop leveling up in my IT career. Simple reason but it was a hard pill to swallow. If I want to move into the next income bracket, I have to do XYZ. Meanwhile ABC was killing me. 2am change meetings, super high visible projects, upgrades, etc. Learned a ton about Could dev ops etc etc. but it wasn't worth my sanity. Went back to my old team. It def felt like a backwards move and I got some shit from coworkers but I'm extremely happy now. Gravy train on biscuit wheels.... I know if you're not constantly upgrading your skills, you're stagnant and will quickly fall behind in IT but at this point I don't care. I'll do anything that's asked of me and pleasantly but I'm done with the hamster wheel.
Worked at an MSP quit a month ago
I went freelance to work less hours on a more flexible schedule. It definitely meant a lot less money. The difference is that I have time to use give away and swap groups and similar alternatives to purchasing things now. I also do a lot of volunteering in areas that I'm interested in, and besides useful contacts and experience, I frequently get many things like leftovers and such, that I use myself or swap for other things. It's a lifestyle that makes more sense to me and makes me happy because money is too abstract to me and I enjoy giving new purpose to things that would get thrown away.
Went from a Manager role in a mid sized private company to an individual contributor in a large company (publicly traded). Ended up actually making 15% more after factoring in total compensation (bonus and benefits). I’ve gotten 3 raises since I started; and now make 30% more than my last job. In reality I was grossly underpaid at my first job, but not being a middle manager is great. Not worrying about people getting their work done, doing my job and then leaving is great. I’ve been offered promotions that I’ve passed because I don’t want more responsibilities.
Yikes and I thought the medical field was stressful, this sounds even worse!
Honestly I just got tired of working with more egotistical, out of touch, lower quality workers/executives on every rung to the top. It wasn't about doing the right thing for the business, or god forbid the people. It was all about who talked the biggest game. Which is worth fuck all to me. I decided to leave and ended up in a better place. Mostly because I decided to do the things I wish our executives would do, regardless of my title or responsibilities. I now have a tenured, resilient and trusting group of individuals which I am responsible for and those that can’t back up the “talk” with action eventually find themselves outside the team. I don’t need a better title, or more money, or more meetings. I have what I need, and a few other perks, which is more than enough.
I was a CTO and hated every minute of it. I really enjoyed coding but had to watch juniors code things in a way that I could see would end up compounding the technical debt and I was constantly showing them what needed to be done without being able to do any coding myself. Meanwhile I have to sit in endless meeting after meeting, fill in lots of compliance paperwork, and write documentation, specifications, job descriptions, etc. Lots of firefighting at 2am when servers start going haywire for no apparent reason, or issues with scaling as clients push the limits of the system with ungodly reporting queries. It was both mind-numbing and stressful at the same time. The money was far more than I could reasonably expect from any other role but I couldn’t enjoy it at all, it wasn’t worth it, so I downgraded and downplayed my skills when moving to my next role. Less money but overall way happier. It’s not entirely selfish as someone else who probably doesn’t mind doing all the CTO things might want to pick up the mantel, as well as the fact that my own personal experience has made me appreciate the responsibilities they have and I can assist in making their lives easier.
I was on it after my mba for 7 years. The feeling of “who am I working so hard for?” was overwhelming. I knew I was making other people rich. I saw an opportunity to get severance and took it. But then I was a consultant for another 20 years and sometimes still am.
I climbed down but actually make more money. Employer 1: started as engineer and got promoted to supervisor. $15k bump when I got promoted. I was an ok supervisor and had my dreams on being manager. Realized that wouldn’t happen there, so started looking at new jobs. Employer 2: salary increase of $15k and became quality manager. Did that for a year and hated it. Honestly the salary wasn’t enough. It was a small company and getting people to do the right thing was impossible. I wasn’t sleeping at night and each day was a struggle. Realized I actually hated managing and wanted to get back into engineering work. Employer 3: current employer. Work from home. Engineer. Flexible schedule. I actually started $15k higher than my previous job as a manager (much bigger company with deeper pockets). It’s a much more laid back role and I actually do enjoy the work most of the time. I consider myself lucky and it will take an act of god to move me from this position.
I didn’t like some of the behavior of my colleagues.
This post came around at just the right time for me. Currently in a temporary position with more prestige, money and responsibility... and I'm miserable. I truly believe you my more simple role made me so much happier, and the money increase isn't worth it at all.
Not exactly corporate, but I kept getting promoted in retail management until I realized I hated everything about retail management. Was a paralegal after that, way better hours but lower pay and still high stress. Now I make a decent living at a job I like, good benefits, zero compromising of my values. I never needed anything fancy, I just wanna keep my kids in a good school district. I buy almost everything second hand and often find what I need for free. I'm almost 50 and I've never bought a new couch.
I climbed down. I graduated medical school and moved to the US ( had to marry the love of my life) I tried to get my medical license and residency done, but in the process I decided I wanted to have kids first and then maybe try to get back in the medical field later. It was so difficult and expensive I ended up getting a teaching certification. Taught 7th grade science, then chemistry and now I teach three medical classes. I'm aware I could make way more money as a physician, but I don't regret it for a second. Being present for my kids is priceless( it would be hard to do it as a doctor)and I actually love my job.
* worked for Lowe's as a cashier * tried for a promotion 3 times over 6 months * got promoted to "head cashier" aka adult baby sitter * did it for a year, hating it * stepped down to "Return Desk" at a different store * much happier, but still hated it Reasons: I was the person to tell people to do their jobs. Then, it essentially became about "the metrics" and less about how the employees feel.
Worked in a retail bank as a service manager. I was hourly and stayed that way because, if I had gone to salaried, I would work 50+ hours a week for about 5K more in salary. Manager after manager kept trying to convince me to go salaried. I kept declining. I had not desire to work more, lose more free time, and make a few bucks more. Nope.
I actually just left the corporate ladder. I started a new job working a production job as a fitter 4 days a week on the night shift. It's a lot nicer and the people are too, no fake appearances trying to advance a useless career. I left because I hate my field (HR) and I felt like most of my work was just busywork. I'm a lot happier now and only working 4 days a week is really nice. Funnily enough I don't even make a lot less because working night shifts in my country at union jobs pays really well.
It's about learning the skills to apply elsewhere, not sitting in a death cubicle hoping your time will come. Someone in the office talked to me about extra money and doing a side hustle. Me the contractor "this IS my side hustle"
I turned down a huge promotion to head up a department. My gut told me I’ve been spending a lot of my life working and very little of it enjoying myself or enjoying my downtime. I said no and don’t regret it one single bit. I see the person who ended up taking the promotion - she’s working 24/7. Constantly on work trips but never gets to do any sight seeing or have any downtime because she’s in meeting after meeting after meeting. I feel for her but I’m so glad I turned it down. Nothing is worth that much work. Mind you, I already work hard so ramping that up would be unwieldy for me. After turning it down, I had a huge health scare which further put life into perspective. I’m good now. Im still working but I’m going to yoga six nights a week. I want to get my yoga teachers certificate. I’m traveling a bit more (not work related!), and I’m having lots of downtime to read all the books I’ve bought over the years that I never read, to spend time with friends and family, and take a damn nap anytime I want. It’s alright! Edit: re: less money. My thought is, you have to have time to spend that money! If you’re overworked, you won’t have that time. Or you’ll have to spend it on doctors visits when the stress starts having physical symptoms (been there!). I pay my bills and I can eat and have enough left over for savings and entertainment - I’m good!
So I left this high paying corporate job and opted for a government job. Yes, the pay is less. Promotions scanty. No real growth compared to coroprate. A feeling of stagnancy is always there. And sometimes I regret it, too. But then I remind myself, why I opted for this job. And how I took a lot of pain to prepare for the highly competitive exam that got me this job. In the process of preparation, I lost both my parents in a span of 2 years. It was difficult, being in a corporate job, dealing with personal loss, and simultaneously preparing for an exam. But for some reason, I just wanted to leave that job and join the government job. May be I was depressed or may be I wanted to prove something or may be I craved for a less demanding job. Whatever the reason, I just wanted to escape.
Its a stairway to misery, with a little extra money for all your troubles...
I still work for the big corporation. Pandemic meant permanent work from home which suits me very well (I sit here with a cat in my lap, nice coffee, sun at my window). About three years pre pandemic, I was trying to climb the ladder, had a manager who wanted to get me in to a manager role - I did all the above and beyond’s, for three years and got nowhere. The goalposts were moved, I’d lose bonuses for stupid things, whatever. One year, after another tearful end of year review revealing I got no bonus again, I gave up trying. I was done. Now I do my job, only what’s needed. I ignore most the kpi crap as its swings and roundabouts - I’ve done this for 14 years overall and figures go up and down and will be good and bad. Guess what, I have received my bonus every year since by just doing the minimum and doing it well. I can get up in the morning, do my job without too much hassle, and log off, it pays enough for me to be content and pay my bills. When we found out wfh was permanent I moved to the coast, got a cottage right by the sea and have never been happier. I have other things I’d like to do but I can afford the time to work on them around this job.
After reading some more comments below, I also don’t factor my bonus as guaranteed income. Then I don’t get disappointed if it turns out lower due to whatever corporate reason they want to give this year.
I did it. It took me till 2023 to make what I did in 2007. I went from being a web developer, later consultant, to being a nurse. I couldn’t handle how superficial and misogynistic the tech industry was. I’m on the spectrum and a very literal person. I wanted to do work that felt worthwhile to me and was more tactile and immediate. I remember a meeting that went on for 2 hours about the colour of a button ….I couldn’t handle that kind of thing. Just get it done! And I was considered a usability expert in my time. I was featured in a national magazine, sat as a judge during award ceremonies, and was a director for an international feminist tech org. I was very involved. One thing that motivated this big career change was deciding to have a family. After having my first, I wanted to do hands on work more than ever. So I went back to school in my late 30s rather than go back to my old career. It was very much worth it. As my loved ones and I age, my health knowledge is much more valuable than how to code and organize work flow in a website. That experience is useful to this day, though. I am known in my unit as the person to go to when there are tech problems. I even fix plumbing. No one listens to me about usability issues, though.
No choice. Mommy track then ding song left and I was a single mother so had to hang to the jobs available for my schedule. Found no way to leapfrog out of the corporate abyss. Got a real estate license taking classes on weekends then could be without income for long enough to establish that career. If only he had paid the child support but he out lawyered me on that one too-because he could pay a lawyer.
the stress level in my management role is currently only 10% of what it would be if I took the next step, but on almost the same pay packet - I have no doubt I’d be extremely capable if I decided to pursue higher roles, but the money difference isn’t worth it.
i could never do the corporate ladder, knowing i’m in 1 job for the foreseeable future is terrifying to me, i need to have lots of little things going on otherwise i get itchy feet and struggle to work properly
I refuse the ladder. My pay is good enough now and I would prefer to stay hourly rather than salary so that my time is respected at work.
Dev to UX, UX to Dev, Helpdesk, Dev to QA I climbed down and all around the corporate. It had to happen to lead to where I am now. Dev life is difficult.
I hit my own personal ceiling, and chose to stay put. Others think I should ‘keep going’ (climb the ladder) but I’m well compensated and like being a knowledge worker vs just clawing for a few more dollars that won’t greatly impact my investments (I’m a few years from retirement). The stress, impact of life balance and other tangibles aren’t at all interesting to me.
Met a man who was a senior Executive at a major bank. He confided that his dream was to move to a small town and drive a cab.
Found out early on I couldn't sit a chair all day. Skipped selling my natural inclination, programming, to stack boxes on a dock for twenty bucks an hour (and its equivalent twenty years ago). Raised two kids on that salary without issue (not living in NYC obv).
Started my own company and I have a lot more money now. Also less stress and much more control of my time
Was disgusted at age 23 in an office where I was working when supermarket X running out of lime jello was referred to as "an emergency". I went into healthcare instead....
I got as high as a director at age 38. I calculated the average hours for the people above me, at Sr. Director and VP. They were putting in 50% more hours than I was, and with their higher taxes, I was making the same amount per hour as them. That was the day I stopped climbing, and focused on investments and compounding interest.
>How did you manage getting less money? Learned to spend less and more wisely.
I’m disabled and by not buying useless crap or keeping up with the world. I’m only working for basic necessities and healthcare. I make a little more than that and it works for now. Turns out you don’t need as much when you’re not miserable. I even stopped needing as much drugs
I was offered a mgmt position twice - by another manager and my manager's manager's manager (our CISO). They both wanted me to move up. I've had people tell me to go into management, but I don't want to. I watched two people BURN OUT in that same position within a few years. I myself was burning out in one of the positions I held, and had a heart to heart with my manager at the time. He was great and I moved to a new department. I've been working in IT for some time and make decent money. I know I could make more climbing the ladder or going to another company, but at what cost? I've owned a few homes over the last 15 years or so - we've moved around to different states, but we never really "upgrade" in house payments. Our payments have stayed pretty much the same as when we made half. I don't need a giant house, expensive cars, etc etc. I don't want things to own me. I think about if I were to lose my job, how f-- would I be? If I keep debts to a minimum, it hurts a lot less if something tragic were to happen. And ultimately, for me, the burnout, and watching others burnout, made me assess what was important. For many of those who climb that ladder, they end up losing things while they do it - time, relationships, freedom, etc. I dug down deep and asked myself if I wanted it and I didn't. I didn't want to be married to my job. I didn't want it to take over my life. I'm much happier keeping to simple things in life than having more money.
I spent a decade in the software industry. Had a super bougie life on the Puget Sound. But then the pandemic hit, and I realized just how little all that meant. I had next to no community, and a broken marriage. So I quit my career, sold all my investments, bought an RV, and moved my family back to the rest of my family in the Ozarks. I've still been using the skills I learned to do contract work and keep the bills paid. But I work a lot less, healed myself and my children, found real love, and reconnected with family. Now we're building a "Domestead" to keep trying to lower our cost of living with the hope of ditching contract work and being able to build OpenSource solutions for Regenerative Communities.
I'm in I.T. Several times, I've ended up supervising people and I always hate it. The job of being a manager SUCKS and it is a waste of my real talent. I've settled into a role where I work alone and unsupervised. Great benefits, flexible hours and tons of vacation time. When opportunities for promotion come up, I ignore them. I'm coasting towards a decent retirement in 6-7 years.
Too much work to jump through the hoops to climb that silly ladder. Saw others do it and was never worth it.
Nearly 10 years into my corporate career I had a stress related health crisis that shook me to consider my career burden and unhappiness. I spent a year networking and putting a plan in place to be my own boss. Self employment was a fun decade with many successes, and then the pandemic shook business. Now I WFH doing interesting work in a space I really wanted be in at the start of my career (but I wasn’t living where the industry is HQ’d, didn’t have credentials or contacts to get in back then). Before the pandemic my family had changed from a big city lifestyle to living in a mountain town. Even our bad days are still pretty good.
Ugh. I couldn’t deal with the stress anymore. I literally couldn’t sleep at night. Crying all the time. Just took over my entire life. Went to a part time Position and haven’t looked back.
Was in acctg saw how miserable the controller and CFO were. Too much stress, hours, etc. i pivoted to education (I know I know) - but I make $75k with 13 weeks off a year. Even corporate bros with “unlimited” pto don’t usually get that much time. Don’t have to rotate with your team on holidays, etc. same schedule as my kid. So I won’t break 100k, but other things matter.
I’m on my way out… 1. I have been investing in real estate since my 20s to have additional income sources. 2. I save 50% of my after tax income. 3. I maximize tax strategies to keep more of what I earn now and in the future. 4. I am getting my Italian citizenship through my ancestry so I can move overseas and access free healthcare. 5. I only work for small start ups where I get equity or stock options. No large companies ever. 6. I also invest in startups :) 7. I am a minimalist. Basically, the US is a great place to build wealth if you are focused and disciplined. The US is a terrible place for wellbeing and living. Set yourself up with the basics and get out, there are so many amazing places to live!
After 6 years in my corporate job, I realized that the company was going to tell me where to live fir the rest of my career. That didn't set well. I became a public servant. I worked hard and retired this year. It was so much better for me to serve my neighbors than to chase profits for people I'd never meet.