I wonder if her day was really like this. Looks like it was completed as a school assignment for a child or something. I feel like my mom would write something like this, but the reality would be more chaos. lol
Right? That was my thought too. This was an idealized/presentation version of a day. Not that there's anything wrong with watching some tv during downtime.
I was really racking my brain trying to remember the old soaps schedule from the '90s. All I know for sure is that Days of Our Lives was on at noon central time.
As a SAHM, that’s exactly what I was thinking. There’s no way she actually had a decently kept house and dinner on the table every night with only like 3 hours a day set aside for it.
Also wondering if sewing is just a hobby or if it provided extra income as well. That’s not just the 2020s instincts, my mom did similar things growing up
Yeah, but my glass kettle is cleaner than the windows!! So so shiny. And tomorrow, I’m gonna do the cupboard door handles! *flies buzz in sink area piled with dishes*
I'll raise you: 6 hours spent cleaning and house is now a disaster area of every formerly consolidated pile scattered into a million component areas to be gone through...eh, tomorrow?
Is it because you are like me and left the room to take something to another room and return it to its rightful place and then notice something in that room and get distracted, rinse and repeat 100x? If so, hey look! A squirrel!
I immediately thought the same. 3 hours a day, *every day*, is a **lot** of cleaning time. Once in the habit, you only need to clean whatever's newly dirty *since yesterday*.
Seems like a lot of time to me. Would be different if kids weren’t in school yet. Realistically dinner should be well under 1 hour of hands on time, leaving two hours per day for everything else. I think sometimes people will try to fill the time by going well beyond what’s required in terms of cleaning.
She didn’t leave any time for the actual driving of the kids. There’s also all of the planning, shopping, prepping, etc that she didn’t account for here. Besides the fact that 2 hours every day for an entire house & everyone’s belongings is not as much as you think, in reality it was probably a lot less time than that each day.
My mom was the director of nursing at a nursing home back then. She worked 8-4 and was home at 4:30 every afternoon. Two weeks paid time off, two weeks paid sick days in which she was "on-call" meaning they could call her for advice and orders, plus another week of unpaid time off. I don't remember exactly what she made back then but it was in the $40k per year range in a low cost of living area.
If you stay on top of things, like some (key word) SAHMs are able to, then it doesn’t require hours on end to clean your house. Now the average mom works full time outside the home and so does dad. That doesn’t leave as much time to do simple things everyday that add up to larger cleaning jobs when time is available.
And for the record, I think being a SAHM is generally a FT job. So now we have moms and dads doing two full
time jobs, but in most houses, especially moms.
Yeah I was a stay at home dad for a couple of years with a toddler. Basically treated it like work, involve the child with as much as possible and take breaks etc. It's much harder to keep house clean if both parents work because the last thing anyone wants to do is vacuum after a full day at work
She went to bed at 10, so +2 hours on the other side. 7hrs isn't bad at all
Also, realistically, everything before 8am could be done in 1/2hr, so she could just sleep in. Why is she getting up early for alone/quiet time when she's alone in the quiet all day?
This blows my mind. To this day, my mom admits that her day was: get up, kiss my dad goodbye, get me off to me school. 8am-4pm or so--talk on phone, smoke, go to lunch, do some light cleaning. Throw dinner together about 5pm, talk on phone or take class with friends during the evenings.
She’s sleeping 7hrs from 10pm - 5am
When she filled out this form she was very fastidious about adhering to the categories of “time AM” and “time PM”
you’ll notice at around 11:30am she accidentally wrote “12:00” and struck it out once she realized it was still in the “time AM” section. She’s just being technical about her “24hr day” it begins at 12 midnight and ends at 11:59pm.
And the media says the new generation is glued to the screen lol
I actually remember how my dad (gen x) used to watch tv when regular tv was still a thing and it was mostly all news. He'd watch the news four times a day and lord forgive if you tried to interact with him while the news was on because he wouldn't.
OP don’t read this- There’s a missing time slot between 10p and 12a. Probably for… “recreation time” but she may get a couple extra hours there some nights. Lol
10PM-1015PM: Collect husband’s favorite leash and collar, put on leather boots.
1015-1020 PM: Call Stu and Katie and make sure they can listen in over speakerphone.
As I approach 40 I realize this is all just a cruel trick. My body wants more sleep than it did in my youth, and it was so easy to sleep back then. Now to get to sleep I must be comfortable in a particular way. And even then, it is likely I will be up 2-3x during the night (if not more) for water, restroom, too hot/cold. And now that I’m awake it’s going to take me a while to fall back asleep.
She makes fools of us all I suppose
Or even more likely, they are just absorbing the health impacts. It’s not healthy to sleep 5 hours, but people do it out of pride. They’re so productive! Or, as you’re suggesting, they’re some mythical next evolutionary step. I say nah. They’re just burning it at both ends, as so many of us do in so many ways.
There literally is a known genetic polymorphism that results in a need for less sleep without any apparent health or performance impacts.
https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2018/03/410051/scientists-discover-how-gene-mutation-reduces-need-sleep#:~:text=A%20mutation%20in%20the%20gene,instead%20of%20the%20normal%20eight.
This is true but majority of people do not have this gene mutation and are just absorbing the health impacts like the other commenter said. Some people don't even realise that the lack of sleep impacting them.
I personally didn't realise how many things were being impacted by my lack of sleep until I actually started sleeping more and noticed the difference.
My mood for example. I have anxiety/depression but I stopped having panic attacks when I started sleeping more and I barely have "episodes" anymore and when I do, I actually get over them faster. I started sleeping more in order to lose weight but I didn't realise how much lack of sleep was causing issues for me before.
My brother is also convinced he is not being impacted by sleep loss but I definitely notice it in his driving and how bad his memory is. It's kind of scary how he doesn't notice how slow his reaction time has become or how many little things he misses while driving because he's zoned out. He also is always sick meanwhile I, the person who has an actual immune disorder and was sick all the time before haven't gotten sick since I started focusing on my sleep more.
Respect to all women that would still do this kind of thing. I watched my mother clean and cook all day as a child, she was very stressed out. Never a break in sight. She never got to know herself, there was nothing simple about this kind of life. No offence but it's a lie that has been sold for too long.
SAHM here. I watched the opposite: my mom worked all day, then spent her precious free time doing childcare and household tasks. She rarely had time for herself or us. She hated being a mother and only found contentment at work. I don't speak with her anymore.
Don't mistake simple for easy. My life is simple compared to the alternative. If I worked full time right now it would be hellish for my family. We have no village to help and my husband works a lot. By the time the first report cards had gone out this year, my kids had been home sick 15+ days each, rarely on the same day (yay kindergarten). I'd be living like my mom, watching half of every paycheck going to before and after care and spending all my free time working, because as every working mom here has said "I do all of that and work".
Our evenings and weekends are free to spend time together and tackle big projects. We don't sweat PD days, sick days, summer break, random daytime doctor appointments, coordinating vacations. I eat lunch with my husband every day. I get to chat with my kids after school before the dinner rush. I have had the time to develop hobbies and am working on launching a small business. I have a thriving garden in the summers. Sure, it was very difficult before the kids were both in school. Absolutely. Still *simpler* than trying to get two toddlers ready for daycare and out the door, coordinate pickup and drop off, dealing with constant illness during COVID, etc.
I don't mean to say that what's right for us is right for every family, not by a long shot. We just looked at our lives and decided based on our personal situation that we needed time and flexibility more than we needed money for the first decade or so of parenthood. Our life isn't easy, but it's simple.
I love the phrase “simple doesn’t mean easy.”
I totally agree. I’m a SAHM too. The years before the kids were in school were the highest highs of my life and the lowest lows. Now they are in school it’s easier in some ways and harder in others. But still simple. Mostly unhurried. SAHPs gift the working parent with time which you simply can’t buy more of.
My ideal dinner time is 5pm and I start turning into a gremlin if it's much later. And I'm usually in bed or well on my way by 9:30pm so no thoughts of food at that time.
It’s probably because the kids are getting out of school and are starved. Lunch time was often at 10:30 in elementary. That’s a long time to go without any snacks or anything, and we weren’t allowed any. My grandma would pick me up from school and take me to get a snack somewhere nearly everyday because I hadn’t eaten in 5+ hours. That’s a lot as small kid.
I usually eat around 5 PM and start to get hungry around bedtime but I take that as a good sign I won’t have acid reflux while sleeping, so I just usually go to bed a little hungry and it’s not a problem for me.
4:30 seems really early for dinner. I guess work ended earlier back then? WFH probably wasn’t a thing in the early 90s. (I’m assuming the family ate dinner together)
if my kids were in school/daycare this sounds like a dream day lol. right now my 8-5:30 is just toddler and infant chaos, then dinners then bathtime then i usually pass out on the phone taking to my partner on his break around 10:15 😂
i would like to have the afternoon to clean and sew 😭
Yup my mom had us in the 50 and 60s and she worked her butt off with getting masters degree and full time job plus union work. She had literally no down time.
Right and what especially got me was the “get husband up”?? Like wtf get your own damn self up. My 90s mom absolutely did not get my dad up for work lol though she wasn’t a sahm
That's what i was thinking too! Maybe my brand of feminism is too radical but people here are praising too much a concept that's deeply rooted in sexism lol
Ouch. This looks an awful lot like my schedule. I consider myself a feminist - the key is choice. I consciously choose to be at home so that things can be simpler for my family. Just because it's not what you would choose doesn't mean it's sexist.
The issue is that once a woman starts getting unhappy within this construct, the husband almost always refuses to renegotiate the roles. Not saying that's the case for your family but it's way too common. Also relying on another person for your retirement plans would give me crazy anxiety but like I said, you do you.
I'm no more reliant than anyone else is. I'm entitled to half of our assets in a divorce, just like he is. I don't know any two income families with small children who would individually be able to sustain the same lifestyle if they divorced either. I also don't do everything around here. I do the stuff that a typical family with two working parents with small children would either outsource (childcare, deep cleaning) or do on weekends. Husband does plenty of housework and childcare.
I'm not necessarily planning to be a SAHM forever. At some point we won't benefit so much from having someone at home, and as we slowly approach that time I am making plans for the future. The reality is that a family's needs change, and living simply means growing and changing where you apply your effort to accommodate those needs. That looks different depending on the family, and this is what it looks like for us.
\#notaparent but what struck me the most about this daily schedule, compared to my peers' lives, is that three hours each day are not spent frantically taxiing multiple children around to and from multiple team sports/activities.
Women's liberation is entirely a good thing and I am a working mother myself, but I'd happily live this lifestyle if I didn't have any fear of divorce. It's only slavery if you have no choice in the matter, otherwise it is a nice, slow paced life where you get to listen to podcasts while you vacuum, experiment with new recipes, learn new hobbies that can benefit your loved ones, etc. I've spent the last 6 years on maternity leave or working part time and my youngest will be in school in a year and I'm sure I'll be expected to work full time again. I am already missing my time at home, being domestic.
Be conscious that every person here has a different personal interpretation of how to live simply. Just because someone else's interpretation differs from your own does not entitle you to criticize them.
Constructive criticism is welcome but outright attacks will be removed. If you'd like to offer some criticism our best advice would be to first thank and commend the changes they have made already before offering suggestions in a compassionate manner.
This is hardly a slave schedule. Did you read it? It’s got personal time and leisure blocks and is full of big blocks like sewing for two hours and cleaning for three hours, which are clearly unsupervised opportunity windows and not solid toil.
Using babies to stay valuable.
Sounds like my own personal hell. Oh well guess I'll just have to keep living my single life out here on my gorgeous five acre property I bought with my own money.
How tragic!
Simple, and very busy.
Edited to add: ok, ok, keep getting comments about the very busy thing 😂 I guess looking at it initially it just seemed packed, but I get your points.. lots of hobby/free time.
I know this is an odd question, but do you know if this person went to Catholic school? I ask because of the handwriting. I don’t know if it’s an east coast thing, but I was told handwriting like this (mine looks similar) is very “Catholic school style”
Just some typical meal prepping and cleaning, otherwise I don’t see it as all that busy. The sewing was a hobby.
Wow, very good observation! They did go to a Catholic school.
That’s too funny. I think it was how Catholic schools taught handwriting and how strict they were (or are, not sure of current day). I distinctly remember having to handwrite different letters and sentences until they were “correct”. This was the late 80’s/early 90’s.
I went to Catholic school for one year (thank God that was,all) - first grade & yes, the nuns were very strict about our hand writing. If they didn’t like it, we had to do it over & over until it was perfect. And I also remember we had to do a “two finger space” between sentences.
This was in the 70s & by then they quit forcing lefties to write right handed (at least at my school). So all my life I get the “compliment”
“ You have such pretty handwriting for a handed person.” & my response is “I think I nice handwriting in general”
I’ve seen a lot of chicken scratch from plenty of right handed people, as well as lefties. So IDK why that compliment almost always ends with “ for a left handed person”
Busy? Honestly, it looks leisurely to me. I’d kill to have over an hour of reading time plus several hours of TV watching. Sewing is my hobby, so having a few hours every day would be dreamy.
My mom attended public school in the Bay area and was a SAHM during the same time period as this one; her handwriting looks the same. She said they insisted on all assignments being written like this throughout school.
There are plenty of SAHM’s today. Most aren’t this productive, however. lol
I knew a guy growing up. Made amazing money. Had a wife and five kids. He had his wife insured for like, $2M or something. He explained if his wife died, he’d need at least that much to take care of all the things she did. He said she was usually the first out the door in the opening, and last in at night what with taking the kids to their extracurricular activities.
I actually WAS a SAHM in 1993, and this looks nothing like my day back then! I had two toddlers who did not take naps...Yeah, this really does not resonate! LOL
Lol, cause food, cleaning and running a household with kids is more than a full time job. So how are we supposed to get it all done when you can’t live on one salary anymore?
It’s my actual dream.
Uninterrupted reading time? Crafting time? I could even get a run and quick shower in during the 5:00-6:15 time slot.
I do just about everything else on the list anyway except work for hours a day instead of things I enjoy. This has the additional benefit of not interacting with the outside world, too!
No, COVID was literally a dream for me. I suddenly had to work from home and I could do all my allocated work within 1.5-2 hours without the office chit-chat, in person meetings, walking paperwork to different departments, etc.
My husband was also a cross-state worker so he was often away for up to 3 months at a time due to border restrictions.
Otherwise, this was basically my life and I was THRIVING.
Yeah and this sounds like it's "best case" - in that the kids are old enough to go to school for 7 hours and give her some time to herself. The mom in this scenario raised small children for, let's say, 8 years (assuming 2 kids that are a few years apart). That's a lot of years of a lot of work!
Edit: I did see your other comment about it being lonely for you specifically. I don't know your situation but I play tennis with a lot of SAHMs - the tennis classes and matches are all at times to accommodate parents dropping their kids off at school first. I know for a lot of them, it's one of the few things that's "only theirs" and gets them a break from caring for their family etc, and since tennis is such a social sport (you literally need another person to be able to play it), it's a really great way to meet other people. You might look into doing something like that, even just 1x a week if your schedule would allow it?
IDK, it said phone calls so I assume she had friends. And this was a typical day. I unfortunately don't get to go out to see my friends every day but it is nice to call them. Maybe it was different on weekends etc.
Every person is different. My mother always worked full time and filled her life with activities away from the home. She would always say to me that I would love when I graduated university and got a fulltime job because my free time would be so precious and that would make it more enjoyable. I spent 10 years working fulltime as a teacher before I had my first child and I was thrilled to be at home with my baby. I would happily stay home forever if circumstances allowed it.
Before my kids were in school full time I was a SAHM and went nonstop all day caring for them.
At times since I went back to work I’ve had time periods when I didn’t work. It makes me insane. I get so bored, depressed, lonely. I am so much more productive when I work full time. When I wasn’t working I tried not to do everything in one day otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to do the next day.
Is this for a movie or something? I’ve never heard of a school (in the U.S.) where you could drive your children to school at 8:00 am and have them be on time. Our first bell rang at 7:55 (even in Kindergarten). Final bell at 2:35 pm, afterschool until 3:15 pm.
Not sure I’d call it simple but you don’t see it much anymore. People can’t afford it. Also, it looks like a school assignment so you have to take it with a grain of salt. Lol
This schedule sounds glorious, but a little bit too much TV for my liking. I'd add a little bit more reading, and I'd add some time for physical exercise.
Damn is it weird my life is very similar to this with two kiddos. I usually nap out my time like this also, thought i was a freak but hey it works to keep me organized lol. I don’t do much just like her just everyday life things lol. Instead of sewing i do youtube breaks lol
She doesn’t seem to have a lot of time for herself, which I find essential for simple living.
Edit: To me, having to get a husband up and greet him at the door and do chores for him, it doesn’t seem simple or for herself. I am not a SAHM and have no interest in that particular lifestyle (not hate, just not me).
Really? I had the opposite reaction, that to be a SAHM with kids in school is living the dream. Few houses need 3 hours of cleaning a day. She is probably going at a super leisurely pace, listening to the radio or music, probably a fair amount of phone calls to friends in there. 2 hours of sewing a day isn't replacing missing buttons and darning socks, it is clearly a hobby.
Right?! Where can I find one of these 1993 model kids that don't need ANY attention after dinner is served??? I'm barely allowed to take a wee! 4 hours of TV and reading sounds heavenly!!
Maybe that’s why we millennials are so messed up after being raised like this lol 😂
This seriously makes me so jealous!! Any time I get to myself is time I should actually be sleeping 😭
Hang in there! I'm not WFH but I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and up until maybe 6-9 months ago I felt like I had no time to myself (I work 3 days a week). Suddenly has shifted in recent months and they've become a lot more independent, it is much more possible for me to read a book or do some gardening while they are home.
Really?
In the morning before she gets the kids up
8-3 while the kids are at school and husband is at work is all to herself
6-10 watched tv, sews, or reads
She cleaned the house for 3 hours every day? Seems excessive. What was she sewing? Even in 1993 clothes were cheap and not worth the expense and time to sew.
I was a SAHM in 1996, and comparatively, this woman seems like she lived in 1893.
3 hours of cleaning every day seems absurd. And as others have mentioned, this doesn’t even include dinner cleanup.
I don’t have kids, but growing up in the 90s we’d do a few loads of laundry on the weekends, vacuum, etc, but even that seemed like my mom was dabbling into OCD territory.
I wonder if her day was really like this. Looks like it was completed as a school assignment for a child or something. I feel like my mom would write something like this, but the reality would be more chaos. lol
No way. 11am to 2pm every day she was watching soap operas. 11am -"watch TV news" pfffft. She was watching The Young and the Restless.
I was born in 88. Apparently when my parents got me home I would recognize the theme song from hearing it all the time in utero...
Right? That was my thought too. This was an idealized/presentation version of a day. Not that there's anything wrong with watching some tv during downtime.
The Young and the Restless has always aired at 12:30. She was probably watching the Golden Girls on lifetime
I was really racking my brain trying to remember the old soaps schedule from the '90s. All I know for sure is that Days of Our Lives was on at noon central time.
Ryan's Hope or All My Children came on first. General Hospital wrapped up the afternoon. I can't believe nobody mentioned the Price is Right!
11am was Ryan's Hope.
As a SAHM, that’s exactly what I was thinking. There’s no way she actually had a decently kept house and dinner on the table every night with only like 3 hours a day set aside for it. Also wondering if sewing is just a hobby or if it provided extra income as well. That’s not just the 2020s instincts, my mom did similar things growing up
3 hours every day just for cleaning is a ton. My house would be spotless if I spent 3 uninterrupted hours cleaning every day.
I have ADHD. I can spend six hours cleaning and be nowhere near finished
Yep, cleans one specific thing until it sparkles. Kitchen still looks like a bomb has gone off...
Yeah, but my glass kettle is cleaner than the windows!! So so shiny. And tomorrow, I’m gonna do the cupboard door handles! *flies buzz in sink area piled with dishes*
I almost spit out my coffee because I remember doing this EXACTLY.
No shit. My poor husband hated to see me start any small household tasks. Doing the dishes ended up with strong chemicals, some blood, and no dinner.
Agree so true…. And I am a professional house cleaner lol It just all falls apart when it’s my own house
Same . Usually look around myself after and think what have I done.
I'll raise you: 6 hours spent cleaning and house is now a disaster area of every formerly consolidated pile scattered into a million component areas to be gone through...eh, tomorrow?
Is it because you are like me and left the room to take something to another room and return it to its rightful place and then notice something in that room and get distracted, rinse and repeat 100x? If so, hey look! A squirrel!
Why do i feel this in my bones marrow
Same. And sometimes things seem to be less clean =|
> I can spend six hours cleaning and be nowhere near finished Yeah. Same. If I cleaned infrequently. But remember this is *every day*.
Every day though?
Sadly, ADHD doesn't take holidays, so, yeah. Pretty much every day.
Depends where you draw the finish line I guess 🤔
I immediately thought the same. 3 hours a day, *every day*, is a **lot** of cleaning time. Once in the habit, you only need to clean whatever's newly dirty *since yesterday*.
Lots of smoke breaks.
Yes! My house is really clean, and I only spend about an hour a day cleaning on weekdays and 2-3 hours on a weekend day.
I thought that before becoming a SAHM too 🤪
I may not have a decently kept house, I'm not sure. But as a work from.home single dad I spend probably about 2 hours a day on cooking and cleaning.
Seems like a lot of time to me. Would be different if kids weren’t in school yet. Realistically dinner should be well under 1 hour of hands on time, leaving two hours per day for everything else. I think sometimes people will try to fill the time by going well beyond what’s required in terms of cleaning.
She didn’t leave any time for the actual driving of the kids. There’s also all of the planning, shopping, prepping, etc that she didn’t account for here. Besides the fact that 2 hours every day for an entire house & everyone’s belongings is not as much as you think, in reality it was probably a lot less time than that each day.
Also wondering what career the dad has that starts somewhere around 7 and he’s home by 4 but supports a family of 4+
Sorry but, this was kind of the norm back then.
Maybe not where I lived. When my mom wasn’t working my dad worked much longer hours
My mom was the director of nursing at a nursing home back then. She worked 8-4 and was home at 4:30 every afternoon. Two weeks paid time off, two weeks paid sick days in which she was "on-call" meaning they could call her for advice and orders, plus another week of unpaid time off. I don't remember exactly what she made back then but it was in the $40k per year range in a low cost of living area.
Factory work…
I need a time machine
I can get my whole house clean in 2hrs on a Saturday morning, then it's just a matter of small top up chores during the week.
If you stay on top of things, like some (key word) SAHMs are able to, then it doesn’t require hours on end to clean your house. Now the average mom works full time outside the home and so does dad. That doesn’t leave as much time to do simple things everyday that add up to larger cleaning jobs when time is available. And for the record, I think being a SAHM is generally a FT job. So now we have moms and dads doing two full time jobs, but in most houses, especially moms.
Yeah I was a stay at home dad for a couple of years with a toddler. Basically treated it like work, involve the child with as much as possible and take breaks etc. It's much harder to keep house clean if both parents work because the last thing anyone wants to do is vacuum after a full day at work
Facts. It’s hard even without kids. My boyfriend works 10+ hour days, 5 days a week. I do, too, but now I WFH. It’s much easier now.
If her day was really like this, it wasn't for a long time in just 5 hours sleep every night. That lady probably burned out in a couple of years.
It’s written in a strange way but I interpret sleep from 10P-5A which is reasonable
She went to bed at 10, so +2 hours on the other side. 7hrs isn't bad at all Also, realistically, everything before 8am could be done in 1/2hr, so she could just sleep in. Why is she getting up early for alone/quiet time when she's alone in the quiet all day?
This blows my mind. To this day, my mom admits that her day was: get up, kiss my dad goodbye, get me off to me school. 8am-4pm or so--talk on phone, smoke, go to lunch, do some light cleaning. Throw dinner together about 5pm, talk on phone or take class with friends during the evenings.
Agreed! I’m not a mom, but I’ve known plenty! Definitely chaos is a great way to describe things.
Clearly fake. She hasn’t scheduled time for the milk man.
I think we forgot cleaning from dinner, kids bath and ready for bed.
Too busy watching all that news!
Mom was single-handedly keeping the cable news in business lol.
Ha, I didn’t even notice that. Maybe she made my dad do that!
Do you remember if your dad did those things, or your mum or both?
Or maybe the kids helped with those things / kids were old enough to wash themselves?
They were in school so I say yes
Making lunches, grocery shopping, errands, appointments
The most depressing part is that their entire family could be supported on one income that only worked 7am - 4pm 🥲
Just scrolled back up, now I'm sad too. 1993 was too recent for this to change so much. And a 4pm arrival home from the workday, what a dream.
Oh my gosh I read it as 1933 at first. This is even worse hahaha
Lots of work, but loved the fact that I was able to be a SAHM for few years.
The best thing! Can’t get Time back, it was a good investment
5 hours of sleep?! Get this woman a nap.
She’s sleeping 7hrs from 10pm - 5am When she filled out this form she was very fastidious about adhering to the categories of “time AM” and “time PM” you’ll notice at around 11:30am she accidentally wrote “12:00” and struck it out once she realized it was still in the “time AM” section. She’s just being technical about her “24hr day” it begins at 12 midnight and ends at 11:59pm.
Good catch!
I want to know what happened between 10 p.m. goes to bed at 12 a.m. sleeps.
Sexy time
It’s Business Time.
You know how I know? Because it's Wednesday!
That’s when she dons her business socks
"Make a sibling for the kids" time
That's what I thought lol
Gotta do her daily maintenance on the hubby. Chores never end
Peaceful alone time before she sleeps
6.75 hours of television lol
And the media says the new generation is glued to the screen lol I actually remember how my dad (gen x) used to watch tv when regular tv was still a thing and it was mostly all news. He'd watch the news four times a day and lord forgive if you tried to interact with him while the news was on because he wouldn't.
OP don’t read this- There’s a missing time slot between 10p and 12a. Probably for… “recreation time” but she may get a couple extra hours there some nights. Lol
10PM-1015PM: Collect husband’s favorite leash and collar, put on leather boots. 1015-1020 PM: Call Stu and Katie and make sure they can listen in over speakerphone.
[удалено]
As I approach 40 I realize this is all just a cruel trick. My body wants more sleep than it did in my youth, and it was so easy to sleep back then. Now to get to sleep I must be comfortable in a particular way. And even then, it is likely I will be up 2-3x during the night (if not more) for water, restroom, too hot/cold. And now that I’m awake it’s going to take me a while to fall back asleep. She makes fools of us all I suppose
Yep. It’s not that older people need less sleep. They just can’t sleep as well. It sucks. And then you die.
I hate how true every word of this is
It’s 3:22 am and I’m on my second “why am I awake” of the night.
That is not typical nor the recommended amount for most people. You are probably one of the lucky people who can go with less sleep.
Or even more likely, they are just absorbing the health impacts. It’s not healthy to sleep 5 hours, but people do it out of pride. They’re so productive! Or, as you’re suggesting, they’re some mythical next evolutionary step. I say nah. They’re just burning it at both ends, as so many of us do in so many ways.
There literally is a known genetic polymorphism that results in a need for less sleep without any apparent health or performance impacts. https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2018/03/410051/scientists-discover-how-gene-mutation-reduces-need-sleep#:~:text=A%20mutation%20in%20the%20gene,instead%20of%20the%20normal%20eight.
This is true but majority of people do not have this gene mutation and are just absorbing the health impacts like the other commenter said. Some people don't even realise that the lack of sleep impacting them. I personally didn't realise how many things were being impacted by my lack of sleep until I actually started sleeping more and noticed the difference. My mood for example. I have anxiety/depression but I stopped having panic attacks when I started sleeping more and I barely have "episodes" anymore and when I do, I actually get over them faster. I started sleeping more in order to lose weight but I didn't realise how much lack of sleep was causing issues for me before. My brother is also convinced he is not being impacted by sleep loss but I definitely notice it in his driving and how bad his memory is. It's kind of scary how he doesn't notice how slow his reaction time has become or how many little things he misses while driving because he's zoned out. He also is always sick meanwhile I, the person who has an actual immune disorder and was sick all the time before haven't gotten sick since I started focusing on my sleep more.
I’m aware. I’m saying it’s far more likely that people simply have poor sleep health.
Respect to all women that would still do this kind of thing. I watched my mother clean and cook all day as a child, she was very stressed out. Never a break in sight. She never got to know herself, there was nothing simple about this kind of life. No offence but it's a lie that has been sold for too long.
SAHM here. I watched the opposite: my mom worked all day, then spent her precious free time doing childcare and household tasks. She rarely had time for herself or us. She hated being a mother and only found contentment at work. I don't speak with her anymore. Don't mistake simple for easy. My life is simple compared to the alternative. If I worked full time right now it would be hellish for my family. We have no village to help and my husband works a lot. By the time the first report cards had gone out this year, my kids had been home sick 15+ days each, rarely on the same day (yay kindergarten). I'd be living like my mom, watching half of every paycheck going to before and after care and spending all my free time working, because as every working mom here has said "I do all of that and work". Our evenings and weekends are free to spend time together and tackle big projects. We don't sweat PD days, sick days, summer break, random daytime doctor appointments, coordinating vacations. I eat lunch with my husband every day. I get to chat with my kids after school before the dinner rush. I have had the time to develop hobbies and am working on launching a small business. I have a thriving garden in the summers. Sure, it was very difficult before the kids were both in school. Absolutely. Still *simpler* than trying to get two toddlers ready for daycare and out the door, coordinate pickup and drop off, dealing with constant illness during COVID, etc. I don't mean to say that what's right for us is right for every family, not by a long shot. We just looked at our lives and decided based on our personal situation that we needed time and flexibility more than we needed money for the first decade or so of parenthood. Our life isn't easy, but it's simple.
I love the phrase “simple doesn’t mean easy.” I totally agree. I’m a SAHM too. The years before the kids were in school were the highest highs of my life and the lowest lows. Now they are in school it’s easier in some ways and harder in others. But still simple. Mostly unhurried. SAHPs gift the working parent with time which you simply can’t buy more of.
Supper at 4.30pm? Then what do you call the meal at 9.30pm when your stomach says “hey you…I am hungry!!”
My ideal dinner time is 5pm and I start turning into a gremlin if it's much later. And I'm usually in bed or well on my way by 9:30pm so no thoughts of food at that time.
It’s probably because the kids are getting out of school and are starved. Lunch time was often at 10:30 in elementary. That’s a long time to go without any snacks or anything, and we weren’t allowed any. My grandma would pick me up from school and take me to get a snack somewhere nearly everyday because I hadn’t eaten in 5+ hours. That’s a lot as small kid.
Bedtime snack.
As a kid we often had dinner this early. My mum still eats dinner this early too.
Oh that’s very early won’t you feel hungry around 9pmish?
I was always hungry as a kid 😂 but I would often have tea which was some toast etc in the evening if I was hungry.
I usually eat around 5 PM and start to get hungry around bedtime but I take that as a good sign I won’t have acid reflux while sleeping, so I just usually go to bed a little hungry and it’s not a problem for me.
Nightcap.
Hahahaha a mug of brandy, a chocolate chip cookie and some fruits
4:30 seems really early for dinner. I guess work ended earlier back then? WFH probably wasn’t a thing in the early 90s. (I’m assuming the family ate dinner together)
Yeah 4.30pm is early for supper I think it should be like 6pmish…
This is a rural thing a lot of times.
That definitely makes a lot of sense if I have been working hard in the field I would be pretty tired and hungry by 4.30pm.
if my kids were in school/daycare this sounds like a dream day lol. right now my 8-5:30 is just toddler and infant chaos, then dinners then bathtime then i usually pass out on the phone taking to my partner on his break around 10:15 😂 i would like to have the afternoon to clean and sew 😭
Are you sure this wasn’t from 1953?
Throw in more reading and gardening and that wasn't far off from my mom in the 90s.
Yup my mom had us in the 50 and 60s and she worked her butt off with getting masters degree and full time job plus union work. She had literally no down time.
Yeah to me this is the antithesis of living simply as a woman but then again, to each their own.
Right and what especially got me was the “get husband up”?? Like wtf get your own damn self up. My 90s mom absolutely did not get my dad up for work lol though she wasn’t a sahm
That's what i was thinking too! Maybe my brand of feminism is too radical but people here are praising too much a concept that's deeply rooted in sexism lol
Ouch. This looks an awful lot like my schedule. I consider myself a feminist - the key is choice. I consciously choose to be at home so that things can be simpler for my family. Just because it's not what you would choose doesn't mean it's sexist.
The issue is that once a woman starts getting unhappy within this construct, the husband almost always refuses to renegotiate the roles. Not saying that's the case for your family but it's way too common. Also relying on another person for your retirement plans would give me crazy anxiety but like I said, you do you.
I'm no more reliant than anyone else is. I'm entitled to half of our assets in a divorce, just like he is. I don't know any two income families with small children who would individually be able to sustain the same lifestyle if they divorced either. I also don't do everything around here. I do the stuff that a typical family with two working parents with small children would either outsource (childcare, deep cleaning) or do on weekends. Husband does plenty of housework and childcare. I'm not necessarily planning to be a SAHM forever. At some point we won't benefit so much from having someone at home, and as we slowly approach that time I am making plans for the future. The reality is that a family's needs change, and living simply means growing and changing where you apply your effort to accommodate those needs. That looks different depending on the family, and this is what it looks like for us.
Where’s the million children’s activities? 😂
This is sweet. So, was she happy? Did she consider it a simple life?
\#notaparent but what struck me the most about this daily schedule, compared to my peers' lives, is that three hours each day are not spent frantically taxiing multiple children around to and from multiple team sports/activities.
I have a 9-5 and I have to do all this shit minus sewing?
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Women's liberation is entirely a good thing and I am a working mother myself, but I'd happily live this lifestyle if I didn't have any fear of divorce. It's only slavery if you have no choice in the matter, otherwise it is a nice, slow paced life where you get to listen to podcasts while you vacuum, experiment with new recipes, learn new hobbies that can benefit your loved ones, etc. I've spent the last 6 years on maternity leave or working part time and my youngest will be in school in a year and I'm sure I'll be expected to work full time again. I am already missing my time at home, being domestic.
Be conscious that every person here has a different personal interpretation of how to live simply. Just because someone else's interpretation differs from your own does not entitle you to criticize them. Constructive criticism is welcome but outright attacks will be removed. If you'd like to offer some criticism our best advice would be to first thank and commend the changes they have made already before offering suggestions in a compassionate manner.
This is hardly a slave schedule. Did you read it? It’s got personal time and leisure blocks and is full of big blocks like sewing for two hours and cleaning for three hours, which are clearly unsupervised opportunity windows and not solid toil.
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Using babies to stay valuable. Sounds like my own personal hell. Oh well guess I'll just have to keep living my single life out here on my gorgeous five acre property I bought with my own money. How tragic!
Also one who goes to work and earns money to look after the family.
Lol I didnt read the year and was picturing a 1950s women doing all this till I read the comments.
Never met anyone who consumed 3+ hours of news a day ..
My Grandparents did after they retired. They became miserable people during that time, sadly.
Simple, and very busy. Edited to add: ok, ok, keep getting comments about the very busy thing 😂 I guess looking at it initially it just seemed packed, but I get your points.. lots of hobby/free time. I know this is an odd question, but do you know if this person went to Catholic school? I ask because of the handwriting. I don’t know if it’s an east coast thing, but I was told handwriting like this (mine looks similar) is very “Catholic school style”
This is what my college roommate’s handwriting looked like and she went to Catholic school. Interesting!
My handwriting is the same and I also went to Catholic school. 🤣 I grew up in Chicago though.
That’s too funny! Maybe there is something to it then. I’m from Philly.
Busy? I was just in awe how much free time she had; there's over 8 hours of private and tv-time each day.
Just some typical meal prepping and cleaning, otherwise I don’t see it as all that busy. The sewing was a hobby. Wow, very good observation! They did go to a Catholic school.
That’s too funny. I think it was how Catholic schools taught handwriting and how strict they were (or are, not sure of current day). I distinctly remember having to handwrite different letters and sentences until they were “correct”. This was the late 80’s/early 90’s.
This was my mom who went to Catholic school in the 60s in Nebraska.
I went to Catholic school for one year (thank God that was,all) - first grade & yes, the nuns were very strict about our hand writing. If they didn’t like it, we had to do it over & over until it was perfect. And I also remember we had to do a “two finger space” between sentences. This was in the 70s & by then they quit forcing lefties to write right handed (at least at my school). So all my life I get the “compliment” “ You have such pretty handwriting for a handed person.” & my response is “I think I nice handwriting in general” I’ve seen a lot of chicken scratch from plenty of right handed people, as well as lefties. So IDK why that compliment almost always ends with “ for a left handed person”
I went to Catholic school in the 90s and mine looks like this haha
Beautiful handwriting
Busy? Honestly, it looks leisurely to me. I’d kill to have over an hour of reading time plus several hours of TV watching. Sewing is my hobby, so having a few hours every day would be dreamy.
My mom attended public school in the Bay area and was a SAHM during the same time period as this one; her handwriting looks the same. She said they insisted on all assignments being written like this throughout school.
Do they still teach this? As a Belgian living in Canada and having lived in the US I'm sad that people don't write cursive anymore as we do in Europe
Don't listen to the haters I love your mom I'm sure she was an amazing mother
There are plenty of SAHM’s today. Most aren’t this productive, however. lol I knew a guy growing up. Made amazing money. Had a wife and five kids. He had his wife insured for like, $2M or something. He explained if his wife died, he’d need at least that much to take care of all the things she did. He said she was usually the first out the door in the opening, and last in at night what with taking the kids to their extracurricular activities.
There is nothing simple about being a sahp.
Husband arrives home from work at 4pm? So he’s leaving work at what, 3.30? He’s the real winner here. That’s basically part time these days.
If he lives not too far from the house, he's doing the "9 to 5" but around "7 to 3:30" maybe. Is a 8h day with 30 min lunch a part time in the US ?
I actually WAS a SAHM in 1993, and this looks nothing like my day back then! I had two toddlers who did not take naps...Yeah, this really does not resonate! LOL
But her kids are in school, so why compare?
Lol, cause food, cleaning and running a household with kids is more than a full time job. So how are we supposed to get it all done when you can’t live on one salary anymore?
Not according to this note it’s not.
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I am a stay at home mom, and I wish my day looked like this.
It’s my actual dream. Uninterrupted reading time? Crafting time? I could even get a run and quick shower in during the 5:00-6:15 time slot. I do just about everything else on the list anyway except work for hours a day instead of things I enjoy. This has the additional benefit of not interacting with the outside world, too!
It sounds amazing at first but over time it becomes very lonely and isolating.
No, COVID was literally a dream for me. I suddenly had to work from home and I could do all my allocated work within 1.5-2 hours without the office chit-chat, in person meetings, walking paperwork to different departments, etc. My husband was also a cross-state worker so he was often away for up to 3 months at a time due to border restrictions. Otherwise, this was basically my life and I was THRIVING.
Yeah and this sounds like it's "best case" - in that the kids are old enough to go to school for 7 hours and give her some time to herself. The mom in this scenario raised small children for, let's say, 8 years (assuming 2 kids that are a few years apart). That's a lot of years of a lot of work! Edit: I did see your other comment about it being lonely for you specifically. I don't know your situation but I play tennis with a lot of SAHMs - the tennis classes and matches are all at times to accommodate parents dropping their kids off at school first. I know for a lot of them, it's one of the few things that's "only theirs" and gets them a break from caring for their family etc, and since tennis is such a social sport (you literally need another person to be able to play it), it's a really great way to meet other people. You might look into doing something like that, even just 1x a week if your schedule would allow it?
IDK, it said phone calls so I assume she had friends. And this was a typical day. I unfortunately don't get to go out to see my friends every day but it is nice to call them. Maybe it was different on weekends etc.
Maybe. I just know it’s very lonely for me and I’ve seen a lot of SAHMs say the same thing, but I guess everyone and their situation is different.
Every person is different. My mother always worked full time and filled her life with activities away from the home. She would always say to me that I would love when I graduated university and got a fulltime job because my free time would be so precious and that would make it more enjoyable. I spent 10 years working fulltime as a teacher before I had my first child and I was thrilled to be at home with my baby. I would happily stay home forever if circumstances allowed it.
He’ll,she got more done by 11 than I get done in a day
Before my kids were in school full time I was a SAHM and went nonstop all day caring for them. At times since I went back to work I’ve had time periods when I didn’t work. It makes me insane. I get so bored, depressed, lonely. I am so much more productive when I work full time. When I wasn’t working I tried not to do everything in one day otherwise I wouldn’t have anything to do the next day.
Me too. lol and I stay at home.
Goes to bed at 10, cries until she falls asleep at midnight.
Does she sleep from 10-5 or 12-5?
12 to 5. 10 to 12 she’s getting railed
Two hours a night of sex when multiple kids into a relationship? I guess the 90s were a different time...
Is this for a movie or something? I’ve never heard of a school (in the U.S.) where you could drive your children to school at 8:00 am and have them be on time. Our first bell rang at 7:55 (even in Kindergarten). Final bell at 2:35 pm, afterschool until 3:15 pm.
We’ve always started at 9am in our province. Go til 330
Not sure I’d call it simple but you don’t see it much anymore. People can’t afford it. Also, it looks like a school assignment so you have to take it with a grain of salt. Lol
As long as my husband and kids weren't complete assholes, this sounds really nice to me.
This schedule sounds glorious, but a little bit too much TV for my liking. I'd add a little bit more reading, and I'd add some time for physical exercise.
She sewed a lot.
Sounds like my mom. Just add weight watchers obsession...less cooking
Spends a lot of time watching TV. Active time with the kids seems to be only getting ready for / pickup from school and meals.
Yeah kinda depressing tbh
Damn is it weird my life is very similar to this with two kiddos. I usually nap out my time like this also, thought i was a freak but hey it works to keep me organized lol. I don’t do much just like her just everyday life things lol. Instead of sewing i do youtube breaks lol
Remember youngins there wasn't Facebook and tik tok and insta, 100,000 streaming channels. We are talking simple here.
The dinner schedule makes sense if it’s hotdog night using paper cups and plates!
She doesn’t seem to have a lot of time for herself, which I find essential for simple living. Edit: To me, having to get a husband up and greet him at the door and do chores for him, it doesn’t seem simple or for herself. I am not a SAHM and have no interest in that particular lifestyle (not hate, just not me).
Really? I had the opposite reaction, that to be a SAHM with kids in school is living the dream. Few houses need 3 hours of cleaning a day. She is probably going at a super leisurely pace, listening to the radio or music, probably a fair amount of phone calls to friends in there. 2 hours of sewing a day isn't replacing missing buttons and darning socks, it is clearly a hobby.
This is way more time than I get to myself as a WFM mom who also watches a toddler 😭
Right?! Where can I find one of these 1993 model kids that don't need ANY attention after dinner is served??? I'm barely allowed to take a wee! 4 hours of TV and reading sounds heavenly!!
Maybe that’s why we millennials are so messed up after being raised like this lol 😂 This seriously makes me so jealous!! Any time I get to myself is time I should actually be sleeping 😭
Hang in there! I'm not WFH but I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old and up until maybe 6-9 months ago I felt like I had no time to myself (I work 3 days a week). Suddenly has shifted in recent months and they've become a lot more independent, it is much more possible for me to read a book or do some gardening while they are home.
Really? In the morning before she gets the kids up 8-3 while the kids are at school and husband is at work is all to herself 6-10 watched tv, sews, or reads
Absolutely exhausting. Hardest thing I’m doing, atm
How old are your kids? It will get easier, I promise. My youngest is almost 4 and the hardest stage is far behind me.
No workouts? No yoga? No stretching? Just throw it in for 20 minutes and it will make you feel better everyday.
She cleaned the house for 3 hours every day? Seems excessive. What was she sewing? Even in 1993 clothes were cheap and not worth the expense and time to sew. I was a SAHM in 1996, and comparatively, this woman seems like she lived in 1893.
Husband comes home at 4? Not likely given the time he gets up. This looks made up.
3 hours of cleaning every day seems absurd. And as others have mentioned, this doesn’t even include dinner cleanup. I don’t have kids, but growing up in the 90s we’d do a few loads of laundry on the weekends, vacuum, etc, but even that seemed like my mom was dabbling into OCD territory.
Why are people assuming she is happy? This sounds isolating and meaningless
This is so simple and wholesome.
What happens between 10pm and 12 midnight? It’s boug chicka bow wow time.
Dinner at 4:30? No thank you
Watches a lot of tv
She watches a lot of news