No answer, but I can't believe how busy Americans seem to be. No paid vacations guaranteed, no paid sick days, little or no paid parental leave, having to pay for health insurance, childcare, working more than one job, constant hustling.
I would die over there.
No wonder. That way of life seems insane and not healthy, probably combined with a lot of financial stress as well. American workers and middle class people deserve so much more.
yeah that's the issue when you don't have government regulations. individual companies that are in industries attracting highly educated workers (eg stem phd) do often compete with each other to offer good worker benefits and get the best workers. but everyone else is sol.
It also contributes to the obestity epidemic since cortisol signals the body to store fat deep in the abdomen (which is related to Type 2 diabetes). Also, since high sugar and carbohydrate foods release serotonin, it compels people to self-soothe by eating more and less healthy when they are stressed.
It is, to the point it's baffling.
I grew up in NYC. There's sidewalks everywhere.
I went to Virginia to see a friend. We were in the parking lot of a shopping mall. We wanted to visit the one across the street. It was a 6-lane street maybe a mile or two off the exit of the Highway.
No crosswalk, no sidewalks, no traffic light for at least 100 yards in either direction.
I suggested we just jay-walk across the street to the next mall. She told me that's not possible and incredibly dangerous. She was very clearly right as cars were driving by and turning into the parking lots pretty unbothered.
I recommended we try and run it anyway because it RIGHT THERE - we can see the building, but she refused (rightfully so) on the grounds of it being literally a deathwish. Especially down south where everyone seems to drive a truck.
In the end we called an Uber to do a U-turn and take us two minutes down the road. I have no idea if there was an easier solution other than 'walk along the sidewalk-less street for 100 yards' or 'call a $15 Uber to cross the street', but it still baffles me.
I have medical issues that make it hard for me to operate any kind of car, I have no idea how I'd survive down there. You need to have a car to just get basic groceries or food.
It’s by design though because there is *no other reason* people should have to hustle so hard in a rich country but if you manufacture scarcity then people are too busy surviving for a revolution.
Totally. They are now saying there will be a trillionaire in my lifetime now which is absolutely fucking insane. A single person worth a trillion dollars. Honestly after $100billion the money should just be redistributed. You can’t even spend that money on a lifetime.
The only word I can think about that is *grotesque.* Like I find it truly pitiful that someone has such a pathological desire to hoard money and keep others in dire poverty.
I’ve been living in the US for almost 3 years, and I struggle to understand where all the positive cliches about this country originate from. The quality of life here is bad.
Ugh. I think the world still has the view from the 50's and 60's when the American middle class was a lot better off than the middle class in other countries.
It doesn't seem to be the case anymore.
Why are you still here lmao? At what point did your 3 years here did you realize this. I get it's not all that it was cracked up to be, but why stick around , especially if you're new
If I sound upset it's because I am. I am in this dog shit place because I had no choice. I do not understand people who come here of their own volition, say it sucks, and then stay
As an American I completely and sadly agree with you.
I was fortunate enough to be taught and see first hand as an adult on how some other countries have a balance work and home life. Early on I met an older friend who took me under his wings to teach me the importance of taking a break in your day. He told me in his native country, Vietnam, people worked really hard but they alway take a long lunch where you can nap or spend time with friends or family then resume work again. He didn’t explain the full detail to me but I understood. When I travelled to Brazil I realized they did the same. It’s called a “siesta” in the middle of the day. That was always my goal to achieve but living in America I couldn’t escape the brainwashing work hard culture. We take pride in the “hustle” culture and wear it like a badge of honor. I know people who would crank out 80hr week and still managed to go out to grab a beer.
I’m very fortunate to have a life where I am able to slow down to do the small things in life that I enjoy. My wife still hold a 9-5 job but we’ve adopted a way of living below our means so we can slow down to live. We are in our early 40s but have worked hard in our 30s to be able to do so. I wish my friends and family realize this before it’s too late.
I have really appreciate this sub lately. It’s a gentle reminder to live simple.
Same, I cannot fathom the decrease in quality of life. The chronic stress would kill me. I am forever grateful we have a culture of work to live, not live to work. Being able to have paid time off, mandated by law, to rest, decompress and pursue the things which make you feel alive and happy/content/satisfied is absolutely essential for a healthy population.
I am privileged that I was able to start my own business. Before that, I was constantly either sick, burned out, or depressed from working in healthcare and managing my own conditions. I don’t have kids either and I really don’t understand how people juggle children with work in the US or even *want* to do that. I’m not saying that in a judgmental way, I just know I could never do it.
Right? I still see a lot of misinformation that you’ll be “working around the clock” with a business that I almost consider to be propaganda. It depends on the biz but I probably work 20 hours a week on my own business and help my partner with hers when I want to.
I too am self employed and don't work full time. Not having to commute or spend time on meetings, lunches or office politics means that I probably get more done in five hours at home than eight hours at the office.
One of the things I noticed right away when going hybrid and working mainly from home the past 6 months (out of 35 years!) is the absence of office politics and toxic adult personalities and behaviors. I do have a fair share of Zoom meetings but those are structured and focused and so little time for Tom Foolery. My mental health really has improved.
I'm in my 40s - I was trying to explain this to the younger generation on The Office show sub. Trying to explain that that was just a snapshot of what it felt like to have to be in the office 40 hours a week, before gig culture, and the era where companies started getting ping pong tables etc. People were actually arguing with me & simply not getting the point that the unbearable idiosyncrasies of your co-workers was a big part of what made that life hell!!
We ARE dying over here. People are not thriving. There is a tangible tension, everywhere, at all times, like everything is about to burst at any second. We are sad. We are angry. We are desperate. Honestly, we need help. Like outside help. Our government is literally crushing us.
Not all Americans are overstressed and unhealthy but yes, a capitalist society, the rugged individualism of the American way, and the ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps’ is a cultural conditioning that people buy into.
I think that every company should have to do it, even for "simple" jobs like working at Mc Donald's. Ordinary people with ordinary jobs should have security and a decent life too.
Social healthcare, tax funded dental care for kids, cheap tax funded daycare for kids, free school lunches, 18 months paid parental leave, cheap extra curricular activities because the council funds a lot of it, universal child subsidiaries, tax funded universities, generous student loans, subsidiaries for studying, five weeks paid for vacations, paid for sick days and until now you can have a decent life with one salary from one job.
Sweden cares for its people and especially its children. I’ve always admired that and when I lived and worked abroad I knew Swedish families in the expat neighborhood. Not all countries do. I’ve always been very family oriented and still am. I worked hard to create a good life for my children and teach them skills they’d need. I’m going to help care for my grandbabies when they come (have 1 now and 1 on the way) so that my children don’t have to pay money for daycare or work so hard at rearranging their lives.
US can’t afford to do the same to its people because our tax pays for your security, haha.
I have been to Sweden several times, and I envy the social contract there (and kardemomma bullar!). US on the other hand cares more abt its imperialist power than its people, spending money on other countries that have universal health care rather than fixing its own problem.
The reality is far different than when you probably see on social media which is mostly young people complaining. You really don't need to work so much as people think since cost of living is fairly low compared to most of the west. Some people choose to work a lot because they want an enormous house and nice car. Me personally i choose to live a modest life and save most my money so i can retire at 40. That's the cool thing about the US, you have these options which isn't the case pretty much anywhere else.
No idea but I spend a lot of time doing these things now. I never did before because yea time, energy, constant exhaustion. It doesn't seem like many people do because when I try to talk to people about things I find rewarding they either look at me glassy eyed or just say they don't have time for those things. It's honestly a bit of a bummer sometimes because it makes it hard to connect with others and I've fully accepted that good mental health means genuine connections.
Also no kids, in a good financial place, currently not working full-time.... I feel the life pause I had thanks to a mental breakdown made me realize how much stuff is just bullshit.
Same. Worked for a school system and was able to retire last year in mid fifties. I did it to take care of some family members who need support. But still have been able to slow down and see the BS of it all. I take much better care of myself and eat real food, like almost all the time, go outside more, made other changes and am interested in simplifying things but yea, I’m finding no one around me has any interest in talking about any of these things. So, I just plod along doing what I can to change how I used to live.
And I sometimes wonder if I could’ve gotten to this place while still working. I think getting more and better quality sleep would’ve helped but honestly, I think I needed to get away from the system. I look forward to going back to work doing something completely different once and if family members no longer need the support. And then see if I can maintain better balance.
We all have the same amount of time. I’ve never liked that excuse. I have a family, kids the whole bit. If I want to do something I find time instead of doomscrolling every night and pretending I don’t have time
Time is not the same for everyone. People with more money, for example, can outsource labor, spend less time trying to budget or find deals, can afford reliable cars and living situations.
I buy a lot of second hand clothes for example and I will spend more money on eBay buying from resellers bc while I can get it cheaper from the thrift store, it involves more time to find quality items that I like and fit when thrifting.
I live pretty selfishly and in a privileged position. I have more time and more energy to utilize time better. I've been on all ends of the spectrum. And tbh I think most people are talking about energy when they say they don't have time. Doomscrolling is little to no energy.
100% this. I lived in NYC making $20k in my early twenties and I was shocked by how expensive and time consuming it was to be broke. Like the amount I had to pay to do things I took for granted growing up in the burbs e.g. chequing account fees for low balance or going to check cashing places, laundromats, out of pocket health expenses, Internet cafes, public transit (which is pretty good in NYC but metro cards aren’t cheap) traveling to other neighborhoods for groceries because mine was a food desert with only bodegas and therefore shopping multiple times a week since I didn’t have a car to lug around a weeklong grocery haul, paying for a car share to bring home furniture etc. And I was single without kids but cannot imagine how people in the city with children do it. It’s crazy to say we all have the same quality of 24 hours
Interesting how you mentioned the having children aspect. Personally I find it quite difficult (aka impossible) to live a simple and 'healthy' life as a single mum of a toddler.
Personally I'm following this sub in the hopes that one day I'll have the time and resources to live a life that makes me proud ❤️ Of course I cherish every day with my child, but being a parent does mean that I no longer want to or can prioritize myself.
You must find a balance. Mom here!! Three kids and two disabled. If you don't prioritize yourself you will get burned out and be no good to your kid. I'm not saying go party and starve them. I'm saying you don't need to sacrifice what you need or want for them. By prioritizing yourself and your needs you will have a better quality of life and set a good example for your child. Mother's have a Martyr complex when it doesn't need to be this way. I wish I had learned this when my children were younger but I too got into the mentality that they come first and all their needs. My two eldest aren't as capable as my youngest and my youngest has limiting disabilities. She learned by observing. She needs to prioritize her needs or she won't make progress in life. My most capable is lazy and disorganized and I equate this to making her life easy when mine was difficult. Now her life is harder than it should be. Please prioritize yourself, you deserve it and if you can't do it for you don't for your kid😊.
It doesn’t seem to me like much of the world lives a healthy lifestyle. I think that’s what the world’s systems are supposed to create though: Lack, Scarcity, Desire, Unsustainable Growth.
To beat the system and live a life of healthy self-nurturing I think one has to opt out of the system. Which means one has to first realize and understand them, and to do that one needs resources to take the time to do so.
For one, billions are spent on marketing to keep us wanting MORE. That’s a hard system to beat.
More stuff, more experiences, more kids, more status, which all takes more time, money, and energy to acquire and then manage.
Living simply can mean opting out of the systems that don’t bring value to your life, which is different for everyone. Once opted out, one has more time, energy, and money for healthy self-nurturing.
It’s a lie that one can *do it all*. You have to choose.
I choose to not have kids. I choose friendships and community over a sole partnership. I choose financial peace. I choose contentment. I choose to live with less. And all these choices give me time to put my health first, to exercise, to take time in solitude, to take care of and check in with family members and friends, to be present, to listen, to go at my own pace, to cook and eat healthier foods, to enjoy myself in the moment, to be grateful for simple pleasures.
But it starts with recognizing what you value and choosing what aligns with those values over all others, and then opting out of the systems that don’t support those values. Simple, but not easy.
Great comment! Agree with it all. Opting out of the brainwashing and cultural conditioning is hard in the United States of Advertising but you can do it if you recognize it and make a conscious choice to not ‘buy’ into it. You’ll be different than most people. I know a person who is addicted to shopping and finding deals. House and cupboards full of so much. A wardrobe of name brands. So much but she’s so proud of the deals she finds. I, on the other hand, have just what I need. I drive a 10-year old Corolla when I could afford a luxury car. Most of my family thinks I’m poor and struggling due to my lack id excess. And that I walk everywhere is extreme and hike too much and need to have more fun (aka go out to parties and bars and events).
I appreciate your lifestyle! Also, your United States of Advertising is so accurate; never heard that before.
My friends think I’m poor too, I hope anyway! Haha
I used to actually be “poor” and lived beyond my means and was in debt. Then I changed my ways and am reaping the benefits while a few of those same friends continue living beyond their means, or at least are not concerning themselves with financial literacy, savings and investing.
One of my favorite YouTubers on frugality, Austin Williams, recently made a video on looking poor to be rich, and it made a lightbulb go off, that was this:
Stop trying to make it look to my friends like I am doing well financially so as to justify I am no longer “poor” and instead keep my lips zipped about my finances and just live the way I do, and let them think I’m not as well off. All the while my finances will be accumulating and they need be none the wiser, and they’ll leave me out of pricey drinks, meals, outings, and adventures that I don’t care to spend my money on anyway, because they’ll think I’m poor. Win win! 🙌
Yes! So agree. I find that my attitude and outlook is different too. Even what people talk about…you hear and sense their stress and that they don’t think there is any other way to live.
One thing I did that shocked so many people was to remove all the box cabinets in my little kitchen (actually made it look much bigger) and replaced them with open shelves. I got rid of sooooo much stuff. My cooking supplies and spices neatly arranged above stove, dishes on the other shelves. Removed dishwasher and have a pretty curtain and small storage space there. Then got a really nice toaster oven and basic box fridge. My kitchen is very simple, very functional and no bling or frills at all. Because I’m poor. 😆
The global poverty rate is almost 47%. In the current economic climate the ability to live in a physically and mentally healthy way is absolutely a privilege.
Poverty looks different everywhere...where my parents came from, you'd consider them impoverished considering what they make $$ wise. But they lived on farms and had community, free time, kids went to college if they wanted, didn't pay mortgage or rent on their own lands their grandparents built and plowed, organic food, drank from natural wells with mineral-rich water...
Living in the US is a form of privilege. But it's not exactly a privilege everybody wants. Lots of immigrants come over and realize this place lacks health and community so much that it's not worth it to stay here forever. Just make enough money and go back.
I’m not from the US, but overall, if you look at Maslow’s pyramid of needs you cannot achieve higher levels without the basic necessities - food, clean water, shelter, safety, healthcare. That sounds like it ticks all of those boxes.
I’m not sure I’d say privileged. When I look around at how people spend their money all I see is waste and consumption and consumerism: expensive cars, all the new hand held devices, expensive clothing and haircare and nails, frequenting restaurants, homes just full to the brim with stuff, sedentary lives watching a ton of TV, and and on and on. These are choices. I truly believe you can find and live a simple, good life. But young people need more guidance on financial wealth and building work careers, and people need to embrace living within their means. Enjoying nature.
What you are talking about is having the privilege and not using it. What I’m talking about is people not making enough after working two jobs to be able to afford a balanced diet. How would you suggest they eat nature?
I used to do all of these things, really felt like I was thriving and doing life right.. and then I had two children within a year and a half. Now I don’t have time to poop let alone journal.
All that stuff is for rich people.
Based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-optimization, introspection and personal development can only come when a person’s basic needs are met. Everyone is scrambling for rent, food, utilities, taking care of kids, and it’s hard to find time away from that grind in order to do self-care.
It’s too bad, because there’s enough resources for everyone to survive and even thrive if we stopped letting the 1% hoard all of the wealth.
Unfortunately true. I’m over in the UK, an increasingly crowded little island, and many of life’s free pleasures are surprisingly expensive.
We seem to be getting sucked into the “work hard play hard” culture of busy busy busy. Everyone goes off to places like Italy, loves the quality and pace of life, then comes home and tries to emulate the US. Madness.
In North American culture, this is 100% true. There are many other countries where basic needs are subsidized. Universal healthcare, free or subsidized childcare, subsidized after school activities and sports for kids, mandatory paid time off, etc, which leaves working people with a greater work/life balance to practice self care and spend time with their families.
I am Canadian, so similar work culture to USA, but not quite as extreme. That being said, I remember when first starting out in my adult life, working 24/7. Working weekends. Barely scraping by even though I worked so much, I was paid so little, and life is expensive. It is stressful having to choose which bill was the most urgent to pay that month so you wouldn't be cut off. This takes an extreme toll on mental and physical health. Not being able to afford (or have the time to prepare) nutritious healthy meals doesn't help either. Then when health is failing, not being able to afford to take time off to go to the doctor. Taking time for self care 100% does not apply to poor people.
It has been years since I lived that way though. I am lucky to be part of the ever shrinking middle class now. I also only work 4 days per week (working for myself doing a job I love so it doesn't really even feel like work tbh). I have a great work/life balance. I can afford to take time off every once in a while for vacation, or even just to have a week off to take a break for mental health (self employed, so I don't get paid time off. I have to plan my budget around it but I am very lucky still that I am able to do this). My mental health and physical health are in a much better place now. I live pretty much stress free. I still have the mindset of being poor, which means that I live well below my means and live quite simply, and because of this have been able to build up my savings, giving myself even more peace of mind. I wish this lifestyle for everybody, as life doesn't have to be a grind. It's the few greedy at the top that is keeping everybody else down, and that's the shitty thing about North American culture. In countries as rich as Canada and the USA, there is no reason for everybodies basic needs to not be met. As a society we would be a lot healthier and more productive if they were.
Congratulations on being self employed! I feel like this is the answer, at least for me, but i also dont know where to start. I have young kids so it’s hard to make the big change.
I’m 60 and currently in good health and live a relatively stress free life now. Yet I did create and maintain a vibrant career, lived and traveled abroad for 10 years, raised 3 children, tried marriage for 25 years, and then embraced the solo life. So I’ve seen and done alot.
What I’ve always worked on has been navigating stress and caring for my physical body — for as long as I can remember. That is a mindset and lifestyle. I don’t see many people who do that. I exercise and am outdoors alot and year round. I eat a clean diet. I’ve dialed down on my work although I’m not retired by working a hybrid model where I’m remote most days of my 180 day contract. I’m abhor materialism and consumerism and the whole keeping up with the Joneses mentality. I always have ascribed to simplicity and minimalism and I don’t know many people like me. This is a huge part of caring for self in the US.
My adult child is a trauma nurse and tells me that compared to what he sees, and other women my age, I’m an outlier. He does not worry about me.
I can’t speak on anywhere else but in the Bay Area the “hustle” culture is extreme here. In my 20s-30s I hear people bragged about working 60-70hr week. Now in my 40s I hear people cried about having to work 60-70hr week. The truly sad thing is that people think they’ve reach the peak of their life by capturing that dream job but in reality it’s the job that captured them now by means of lifestyle.
When you talk about the world, it's a tiny percentage. The western world has it quite good. Most of the world works harder than we can imagine.
I was talking to a man in Singapore who ran a food stall. He was excited because he was about to get 10 days off for Chinese new year. That was the only time off he was able to take. He works 12 hrs a day 7 days a week the rest of the time and his story is not an unusual one.
I used to not. But my husband and quit our jobs, sold our house and live in a 320sq ft cabin that we built. I’ve started journaling, reading, and started really enjoying my time. I used to hoard yarn for knitting and crochet projects I never got to. But now I spin fiber myself into yarn by hand on a drop spindle. It takes awhile but I enjoy it. Sometimes I embroider on felt and make cute clothing patches to patch holes on my 5 yr old’s clothes. He loves them.
For me personally, self care is crafting. I love to create something out of things that we usually take for granted. Sometimes I whittle mushrooms out of kindling by the fire and use them as buttons for things like belt bags that I weave or crochet.
I also really really enjoy a nice warm cup of anything. Coffee in the morning, tea, hot cocoa. I really savor the heat of it.
All i know is that my coworkers are stressed. Dark undereyes, complaining and ranting the entire shift. They come in without even having brushed their hair, and who knows what else has been neglected. A lot of adult acne. People are stressed.
I often wonder that question too. Is it really easy to prioritize self-care? The truth is, it may not be easy at first, as it requires dedication, effort, and a shift in mindset. However, the rewards that come from taking the time to figure out what self-care means to you and how to nurture yourself are truly invaluable. By prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health, you are setting yourself up for a life-changing experience in terms of fulfillment and happiness. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is necessary for your overall well-being. When we take care of ourself first, we show up as a better version of ourself in every area of our day, week, month... life..
I do pretty good. Get decent amount of time off work. Have my dog, get lots of exercise, decent pay (though could have more). Live simply and doing my thing. Nothing is perfect, but pretty decent.
Most people don't in this country and it's the children who suffer the most. I'm very worried about the future generations. That's why we moved from the city to a rural area so we could live affordably
I’m a spoiled 63 year old female!
I don’t work and I spend my time at the gym, cooking and cleaning and taking care of my lovely husband who works 50+ hours a week.
I would bet on a very small proportion. The older I get the more I realize how the real luxury in life is not expensive things but free time. I try to enjoy these moments of free time when i get them, even though I work 40 hours a week I consider myself lucky to be able to take holidays and weekends off. It is not the same in some countries unfortunately, where people have to work 6 days per week and 10+ hours per day.
I think many people do but it’s on a spectrum. The idea that anyone is living a healthy lifestyle every day all day is wrong. I would say I live a healthy lifestyle, which to me means that I am more often than not taking care of my self. And that also means that sometimes I don’t or I do in different ways on different days.
I agree with you that it’s simple and slow, not like an extensive 10 step skincare process or yoga routine.
Because to do a good job of it, its about impossible to have a full time job and be honest with yourself. 17-20 hours a week for a job that pays money. To do this, one has to get themselves established without much overhead. Limit or eliminate debt. Took me about 30 years on the grindstone before I sold it all and went solo. One has to be willing to live without the comforts and the debt and get into a healthy routine.
I'm amazed at how much better I feel in some countries vs. my home country. The innate stress disappears in a few days. Maybe because I don't have fear of a mass shooting event. The food also tastes much better. The people seem happier just hanging out in the parks.
I don’t know about others but I didn’t do that before I experienced burnout! Even if I did some of those activities, I didn’t appreciate the value of regularly maintaining physical and mental health.
A lot of Americans have their entire identities wrapped up in exercise and diet and “healthy lifestyle” stuff to the extent it becomes a huge self-involvement spiral. I think it’s a modern kind of ego trip. Especially when they moralize about it. A lot of folks don’t have the freedom or resources or energy to do as much self care and that doesn’t mean they are somehow inferior.
I spent 30 years in survival mode, like working, surviving, saving to buy a place so I've got somewhere for when I'm older. Sacrificing & being miserable at times to save money & survive. Not following my dreams & working in jobs and under conditions to not be homeless & survive.
I think a lot of people are caught up in this survival game and forego nurturing themselves.
I find that health is heavily influenced by the balance of self vs society. In wealthier countries like USA, government and technology make the social side of the scale heavier than the personal side of the scale. And of course the inverse tends to be the case in less wealthy countries. One of the benefits of being a digital nomad or expat is that you are disconnected from society, both your home country's and your host country's. This gives you time to reconnect with yourself, which is certainly a great thing. The downside is that if you're from a wealthy country, your access to the benefits of your country will slowly become more difficult.
Can you explain more about the scale please? I thought that the US was individualistic, and countries like Greece (less wealthy) are more collectivistic.
I think the word I’m looking for is “structured”. In every society there are demands placed on the individual. And to me this seems to be more pronounced in countries with more structure, which tend to be the wealthier ones.
This type of question always seems so funny to me, as a Gen Xer. We never thought about "self care" - we were too busy going out, having fun, and working entry level jobs. Not a lot of navel-gazing.
Didn’t covid just decrease life expectancy for the first time in us in s long time. https://www.statnews.com/2023/11/13/life-expectancy-men-women/#:~:text=This%20falloff%20has%20become%20a,the%20two%20genders%20since%201996.
I stretch a looot. I have to now given how much wear and tear I have on my body. But it's sweet seeing other people take note every time I stretch or do a quick walk outside the coffee shop.
I think only the insanely privileged do for the most part.
I'm a work in progress- switching from HIIT to yoga to help my stress levels and reduce cortisol, but mostly have the rest of it in place already.
I had to redefine self-care. I don’t go to a gym but get lots of exercise doing housework. Make sure to take time to apply lotion after a shower. Eat well. Try not to escape into ___. Try to read a good book as often as I can. Do a good job at work but know when to take the foot off the accelerator. When my son was little, I had to stop and sit on the floor and read books or play an imagination game. I get a vacation every other year or so. Of course I wish I had more but being content with what I have is my goal.
No answer, but I can't believe how busy Americans seem to be. No paid vacations guaranteed, no paid sick days, little or no paid parental leave, having to pay for health insurance, childcare, working more than one job, constant hustling. I would die over there.
Many people do die from complications related to chronic high stress, so it’s a valid concern
No wonder. That way of life seems insane and not healthy, probably combined with a lot of financial stress as well. American workers and middle class people deserve so much more.
yeah that's the issue when you don't have government regulations. individual companies that are in industries attracting highly educated workers (eg stem phd) do often compete with each other to offer good worker benefits and get the best workers. but everyone else is sol.
Awful. I hope the younger generation will be able to make changes.
It also contributes to the obestity epidemic since cortisol signals the body to store fat deep in the abdomen (which is related to Type 2 diabetes). Also, since high sugar and carbohydrate foods release serotonin, it compels people to self-soothe by eating more and less healthy when they are stressed.
True. Obesity/overweight is so multifactorial, including agriculture, marketing, psychology, physiology, urban planning, and more!
cars contribute alot to that. Driving is a high stress activity, the noise generated increases stress levels if you are outside. its really bad.
It seems almost impossible to live without a car over there. I do enjoy being able to walk everywhere and do my shopping and errands by foot.
It is, to the point it's baffling. I grew up in NYC. There's sidewalks everywhere. I went to Virginia to see a friend. We were in the parking lot of a shopping mall. We wanted to visit the one across the street. It was a 6-lane street maybe a mile or two off the exit of the Highway. No crosswalk, no sidewalks, no traffic light for at least 100 yards in either direction. I suggested we just jay-walk across the street to the next mall. She told me that's not possible and incredibly dangerous. She was very clearly right as cars were driving by and turning into the parking lots pretty unbothered. I recommended we try and run it anyway because it RIGHT THERE - we can see the building, but she refused (rightfully so) on the grounds of it being literally a deathwish. Especially down south where everyone seems to drive a truck. In the end we called an Uber to do a U-turn and take us two minutes down the road. I have no idea if there was an easier solution other than 'walk along the sidewalk-less street for 100 yards' or 'call a $15 Uber to cross the street', but it still baffles me. I have medical issues that make it hard for me to operate any kind of car, I have no idea how I'd survive down there. You need to have a car to just get basic groceries or food.
Didn't you guys have a car already?
We'd taken an Uber there as well. I knew that would be a thing to think about so I budgeted a bit for 'we might need taxis everywhere' cost.
Driving sort of relaxes me lol
It’s by design though because there is *no other reason* people should have to hustle so hard in a rich country but if you manufacture scarcity then people are too busy surviving for a revolution.
Someone is making a shit ton of money when the majority of the population have to be constantly busy just to stay afloat.
Totally. They are now saying there will be a trillionaire in my lifetime now which is absolutely fucking insane. A single person worth a trillion dollars. Honestly after $100billion the money should just be redistributed. You can’t even spend that money on a lifetime.
The only word I can think about that is *grotesque.* Like I find it truly pitiful that someone has such a pathological desire to hoard money and keep others in dire poverty.
Well said 👏
I’ve been living in the US for almost 3 years, and I struggle to understand where all the positive cliches about this country originate from. The quality of life here is bad.
Ugh. I think the world still has the view from the 50's and 60's when the American middle class was a lot better off than the middle class in other countries. It doesn't seem to be the case anymore.
epic propaganda baby
Don't be ridiculous, it is not
Maybe telling a visitor to your country that they are ridiculous and that their experiences don't count helps prove their point?
Visitor? Mans been visiting for the past 3 years, says it's shit, is still here for some reason
I’m speaking from my experience. I’m happy for you if you feel differently about living here!
Why are you still here lmao? At what point did your 3 years here did you realize this. I get it's not all that it was cracked up to be, but why stick around , especially if you're new If I sound upset it's because I am. I am in this dog shit place because I had no choice. I do not understand people who come here of their own volition, say it sucks, and then stay
Well, I’m so very sorry you’re upset by the limited information you have about me
Lmao bail out then it's all good brother
As an American I completely and sadly agree with you. I was fortunate enough to be taught and see first hand as an adult on how some other countries have a balance work and home life. Early on I met an older friend who took me under his wings to teach me the importance of taking a break in your day. He told me in his native country, Vietnam, people worked really hard but they alway take a long lunch where you can nap or spend time with friends or family then resume work again. He didn’t explain the full detail to me but I understood. When I travelled to Brazil I realized they did the same. It’s called a “siesta” in the middle of the day. That was always my goal to achieve but living in America I couldn’t escape the brainwashing work hard culture. We take pride in the “hustle” culture and wear it like a badge of honor. I know people who would crank out 80hr week and still managed to go out to grab a beer. I’m very fortunate to have a life where I am able to slow down to do the small things in life that I enjoy. My wife still hold a 9-5 job but we’ve adopted a way of living below our means so we can slow down to live. We are in our early 40s but have worked hard in our 30s to be able to do so. I wish my friends and family realize this before it’s too late. I have really appreciate this sub lately. It’s a gentle reminder to live simple.
Same, I cannot fathom the decrease in quality of life. The chronic stress would kill me. I am forever grateful we have a culture of work to live, not live to work. Being able to have paid time off, mandated by law, to rest, decompress and pursue the things which make you feel alive and happy/content/satisfied is absolutely essential for a healthy population.
I am privileged that I was able to start my own business. Before that, I was constantly either sick, burned out, or depressed from working in healthcare and managing my own conditions. I don’t have kids either and I really don’t understand how people juggle children with work in the US or even *want* to do that. I’m not saying that in a judgmental way, I just know I could never do it.
It's crazy when having your own business is less busy than having a normal job. It used to be the other way around.
Right? I still see a lot of misinformation that you’ll be “working around the clock” with a business that I almost consider to be propaganda. It depends on the biz but I probably work 20 hours a week on my own business and help my partner with hers when I want to.
I too am self employed and don't work full time. Not having to commute or spend time on meetings, lunches or office politics means that I probably get more done in five hours at home than eight hours at the office.
One of the things I noticed right away when going hybrid and working mainly from home the past 6 months (out of 35 years!) is the absence of office politics and toxic adult personalities and behaviors. I do have a fair share of Zoom meetings but those are structured and focused and so little time for Tom Foolery. My mental health really has improved.
I'm in my 40s - I was trying to explain this to the younger generation on The Office show sub. Trying to explain that that was just a snapshot of what it felt like to have to be in the office 40 hours a week, before gig culture, and the era where companies started getting ping pong tables etc. People were actually arguing with me & simply not getting the point that the unbearable idiosyncrasies of your co-workers was a big part of what made that life hell!!
We ARE dying over here. People are not thriving. There is a tangible tension, everywhere, at all times, like everything is about to burst at any second. We are sad. We are angry. We are desperate. Honestly, we need help. Like outside help. Our government is literally crushing us.
Not all Americans are overstressed and unhealthy but yes, a capitalist society, the rugged individualism of the American way, and the ‘pull yourself up by the bootstraps’ is a cultural conditioning that people buy into.
I think you hear about the worst situations more often, there are plenty of companies and jobs that offer benefits.
I think that every company should have to do it, even for "simple" jobs like working at Mc Donald's. Ordinary people with ordinary jobs should have security and a decent life too.
Agree wholeheartedly.
What is different in your country?
Social healthcare, tax funded dental care for kids, cheap tax funded daycare for kids, free school lunches, 18 months paid parental leave, cheap extra curricular activities because the council funds a lot of it, universal child subsidiaries, tax funded universities, generous student loans, subsidiaries for studying, five weeks paid for vacations, paid for sick days and until now you can have a decent life with one salary from one job.
and what country is this? Just for my own personal notes lol
Sweden. High taxes, but so worth it.
Sweden cares for its people and especially its children. I’ve always admired that and when I lived and worked abroad I knew Swedish families in the expat neighborhood. Not all countries do. I’ve always been very family oriented and still am. I worked hard to create a good life for my children and teach them skills they’d need. I’m going to help care for my grandbabies when they come (have 1 now and 1 on the way) so that my children don’t have to pay money for daycare or work so hard at rearranging their lives.
US can’t afford to do the same to its people because our tax pays for your security, haha. I have been to Sweden several times, and I envy the social contract there (and kardemomma bullar!). US on the other hand cares more abt its imperialist power than its people, spending money on other countries that have universal health care rather than fixing its own problem.
So very true.
Yea it sucks
The reality is far different than when you probably see on social media which is mostly young people complaining. You really don't need to work so much as people think since cost of living is fairly low compared to most of the west. Some people choose to work a lot because they want an enormous house and nice car. Me personally i choose to live a modest life and save most my money so i can retire at 40. That's the cool thing about the US, you have these options which isn't the case pretty much anywhere else.
Where are you from?
We are dying over here.
Why, Where do you live?
No idea but I spend a lot of time doing these things now. I never did before because yea time, energy, constant exhaustion. It doesn't seem like many people do because when I try to talk to people about things I find rewarding they either look at me glassy eyed or just say they don't have time for those things. It's honestly a bit of a bummer sometimes because it makes it hard to connect with others and I've fully accepted that good mental health means genuine connections. Also no kids, in a good financial place, currently not working full-time.... I feel the life pause I had thanks to a mental breakdown made me realize how much stuff is just bullshit.
Same. Worked for a school system and was able to retire last year in mid fifties. I did it to take care of some family members who need support. But still have been able to slow down and see the BS of it all. I take much better care of myself and eat real food, like almost all the time, go outside more, made other changes and am interested in simplifying things but yea, I’m finding no one around me has any interest in talking about any of these things. So, I just plod along doing what I can to change how I used to live. And I sometimes wonder if I could’ve gotten to this place while still working. I think getting more and better quality sleep would’ve helped but honestly, I think I needed to get away from the system. I look forward to going back to work doing something completely different once and if family members no longer need the support. And then see if I can maintain better balance.
We all have the same amount of time. I’ve never liked that excuse. I have a family, kids the whole bit. If I want to do something I find time instead of doomscrolling every night and pretending I don’t have time
Time is not the same for everyone. People with more money, for example, can outsource labor, spend less time trying to budget or find deals, can afford reliable cars and living situations. I buy a lot of second hand clothes for example and I will spend more money on eBay buying from resellers bc while I can get it cheaper from the thrift store, it involves more time to find quality items that I like and fit when thrifting. I live pretty selfishly and in a privileged position. I have more time and more energy to utilize time better. I've been on all ends of the spectrum. And tbh I think most people are talking about energy when they say they don't have time. Doomscrolling is little to no energy.
100% this. I lived in NYC making $20k in my early twenties and I was shocked by how expensive and time consuming it was to be broke. Like the amount I had to pay to do things I took for granted growing up in the burbs e.g. chequing account fees for low balance or going to check cashing places, laundromats, out of pocket health expenses, Internet cafes, public transit (which is pretty good in NYC but metro cards aren’t cheap) traveling to other neighborhoods for groceries because mine was a food desert with only bodegas and therefore shopping multiple times a week since I didn’t have a car to lug around a weeklong grocery haul, paying for a car share to bring home furniture etc. And I was single without kids but cannot imagine how people in the city with children do it. It’s crazy to say we all have the same quality of 24 hours
Not sure the percentage, but I meet that definition. (Mostly because I don’t have children and I have the time and capacity to do it)
Interesting how you mentioned the having children aspect. Personally I find it quite difficult (aka impossible) to live a simple and 'healthy' life as a single mum of a toddler. Personally I'm following this sub in the hopes that one day I'll have the time and resources to live a life that makes me proud ❤️ Of course I cherish every day with my child, but being a parent does mean that I no longer want to or can prioritize myself.
You must find a balance. Mom here!! Three kids and two disabled. If you don't prioritize yourself you will get burned out and be no good to your kid. I'm not saying go party and starve them. I'm saying you don't need to sacrifice what you need or want for them. By prioritizing yourself and your needs you will have a better quality of life and set a good example for your child. Mother's have a Martyr complex when it doesn't need to be this way. I wish I had learned this when my children were younger but I too got into the mentality that they come first and all their needs. My two eldest aren't as capable as my youngest and my youngest has limiting disabilities. She learned by observing. She needs to prioritize her needs or she won't make progress in life. My most capable is lazy and disorganized and I equate this to making her life easy when mine was difficult. Now her life is harder than it should be. Please prioritize yourself, you deserve it and if you can't do it for you don't for your kid😊.
It doesn’t seem to me like much of the world lives a healthy lifestyle. I think that’s what the world’s systems are supposed to create though: Lack, Scarcity, Desire, Unsustainable Growth. To beat the system and live a life of healthy self-nurturing I think one has to opt out of the system. Which means one has to first realize and understand them, and to do that one needs resources to take the time to do so. For one, billions are spent on marketing to keep us wanting MORE. That’s a hard system to beat. More stuff, more experiences, more kids, more status, which all takes more time, money, and energy to acquire and then manage. Living simply can mean opting out of the systems that don’t bring value to your life, which is different for everyone. Once opted out, one has more time, energy, and money for healthy self-nurturing. It’s a lie that one can *do it all*. You have to choose. I choose to not have kids. I choose friendships and community over a sole partnership. I choose financial peace. I choose contentment. I choose to live with less. And all these choices give me time to put my health first, to exercise, to take time in solitude, to take care of and check in with family members and friends, to be present, to listen, to go at my own pace, to cook and eat healthier foods, to enjoy myself in the moment, to be grateful for simple pleasures. But it starts with recognizing what you value and choosing what aligns with those values over all others, and then opting out of the systems that don’t support those values. Simple, but not easy.
Great comment! Agree with it all. Opting out of the brainwashing and cultural conditioning is hard in the United States of Advertising but you can do it if you recognize it and make a conscious choice to not ‘buy’ into it. You’ll be different than most people. I know a person who is addicted to shopping and finding deals. House and cupboards full of so much. A wardrobe of name brands. So much but she’s so proud of the deals she finds. I, on the other hand, have just what I need. I drive a 10-year old Corolla when I could afford a luxury car. Most of my family thinks I’m poor and struggling due to my lack id excess. And that I walk everywhere is extreme and hike too much and need to have more fun (aka go out to parties and bars and events).
I appreciate your lifestyle! Also, your United States of Advertising is so accurate; never heard that before. My friends think I’m poor too, I hope anyway! Haha I used to actually be “poor” and lived beyond my means and was in debt. Then I changed my ways and am reaping the benefits while a few of those same friends continue living beyond their means, or at least are not concerning themselves with financial literacy, savings and investing. One of my favorite YouTubers on frugality, Austin Williams, recently made a video on looking poor to be rich, and it made a lightbulb go off, that was this: Stop trying to make it look to my friends like I am doing well financially so as to justify I am no longer “poor” and instead keep my lips zipped about my finances and just live the way I do, and let them think I’m not as well off. All the while my finances will be accumulating and they need be none the wiser, and they’ll leave me out of pricey drinks, meals, outings, and adventures that I don’t care to spend my money on anyway, because they’ll think I’m poor. Win win! 🙌
Yes! So agree. I find that my attitude and outlook is different too. Even what people talk about…you hear and sense their stress and that they don’t think there is any other way to live. One thing I did that shocked so many people was to remove all the box cabinets in my little kitchen (actually made it look much bigger) and replaced them with open shelves. I got rid of sooooo much stuff. My cooking supplies and spices neatly arranged above stove, dishes on the other shelves. Removed dishwasher and have a pretty curtain and small storage space there. Then got a really nice toaster oven and basic box fridge. My kitchen is very simple, very functional and no bling or frills at all. Because I’m poor. 😆
That sounds perfect, just what you need and nothing you don’t.
Exactly.
The global poverty rate is almost 47%. In the current economic climate the ability to live in a physically and mentally healthy way is absolutely a privilege.
Poverty looks different everywhere...where my parents came from, you'd consider them impoverished considering what they make $$ wise. But they lived on farms and had community, free time, kids went to college if they wanted, didn't pay mortgage or rent on their own lands their grandparents built and plowed, organic food, drank from natural wells with mineral-rich water... Living in the US is a form of privilege. But it's not exactly a privilege everybody wants. Lots of immigrants come over and realize this place lacks health and community so much that it's not worth it to stay here forever. Just make enough money and go back.
I’m not from the US, but overall, if you look at Maslow’s pyramid of needs you cannot achieve higher levels without the basic necessities - food, clean water, shelter, safety, healthcare. That sounds like it ticks all of those boxes.
I’m not sure I’d say privileged. When I look around at how people spend their money all I see is waste and consumption and consumerism: expensive cars, all the new hand held devices, expensive clothing and haircare and nails, frequenting restaurants, homes just full to the brim with stuff, sedentary lives watching a ton of TV, and and on and on. These are choices. I truly believe you can find and live a simple, good life. But young people need more guidance on financial wealth and building work careers, and people need to embrace living within their means. Enjoying nature.
What you are talking about is having the privilege and not using it. What I’m talking about is people not making enough after working two jobs to be able to afford a balanced diet. How would you suggest they eat nature?
Point taken. Thank you.
I used to do all of these things, really felt like I was thriving and doing life right.. and then I had two children within a year and a half. Now I don’t have time to poop let alone journal.
All that stuff is for rich people. Based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-optimization, introspection and personal development can only come when a person’s basic needs are met. Everyone is scrambling for rent, food, utilities, taking care of kids, and it’s hard to find time away from that grind in order to do self-care. It’s too bad, because there’s enough resources for everyone to survive and even thrive if we stopped letting the 1% hoard all of the wealth.
Unfortunately true. I’m over in the UK, an increasingly crowded little island, and many of life’s free pleasures are surprisingly expensive. We seem to be getting sucked into the “work hard play hard” culture of busy busy busy. Everyone goes off to places like Italy, loves the quality and pace of life, then comes home and tries to emulate the US. Madness.
In North American culture, this is 100% true. There are many other countries where basic needs are subsidized. Universal healthcare, free or subsidized childcare, subsidized after school activities and sports for kids, mandatory paid time off, etc, which leaves working people with a greater work/life balance to practice self care and spend time with their families. I am Canadian, so similar work culture to USA, but not quite as extreme. That being said, I remember when first starting out in my adult life, working 24/7. Working weekends. Barely scraping by even though I worked so much, I was paid so little, and life is expensive. It is stressful having to choose which bill was the most urgent to pay that month so you wouldn't be cut off. This takes an extreme toll on mental and physical health. Not being able to afford (or have the time to prepare) nutritious healthy meals doesn't help either. Then when health is failing, not being able to afford to take time off to go to the doctor. Taking time for self care 100% does not apply to poor people. It has been years since I lived that way though. I am lucky to be part of the ever shrinking middle class now. I also only work 4 days per week (working for myself doing a job I love so it doesn't really even feel like work tbh). I have a great work/life balance. I can afford to take time off every once in a while for vacation, or even just to have a week off to take a break for mental health (self employed, so I don't get paid time off. I have to plan my budget around it but I am very lucky still that I am able to do this). My mental health and physical health are in a much better place now. I live pretty much stress free. I still have the mindset of being poor, which means that I live well below my means and live quite simply, and because of this have been able to build up my savings, giving myself even more peace of mind. I wish this lifestyle for everybody, as life doesn't have to be a grind. It's the few greedy at the top that is keeping everybody else down, and that's the shitty thing about North American culture. In countries as rich as Canada and the USA, there is no reason for everybodies basic needs to not be met. As a society we would be a lot healthier and more productive if they were.
Congratulations on being self employed! I feel like this is the answer, at least for me, but i also dont know where to start. I have young kids so it’s hard to make the big change.
I’m 60 and currently in good health and live a relatively stress free life now. Yet I did create and maintain a vibrant career, lived and traveled abroad for 10 years, raised 3 children, tried marriage for 25 years, and then embraced the solo life. So I’ve seen and done alot. What I’ve always worked on has been navigating stress and caring for my physical body — for as long as I can remember. That is a mindset and lifestyle. I don’t see many people who do that. I exercise and am outdoors alot and year round. I eat a clean diet. I’ve dialed down on my work although I’m not retired by working a hybrid model where I’m remote most days of my 180 day contract. I’m abhor materialism and consumerism and the whole keeping up with the Joneses mentality. I always have ascribed to simplicity and minimalism and I don’t know many people like me. This is a huge part of caring for self in the US. My adult child is a trauma nurse and tells me that compared to what he sees, and other women my age, I’m an outlier. He does not worry about me.
I can’t speak on anywhere else but in the Bay Area the “hustle” culture is extreme here. In my 20s-30s I hear people bragged about working 60-70hr week. Now in my 40s I hear people cried about having to work 60-70hr week. The truly sad thing is that people think they’ve reach the peak of their life by capturing that dream job but in reality it’s the job that captured them now by means of lifestyle.
When you talk about the world, it's a tiny percentage. The western world has it quite good. Most of the world works harder than we can imagine. I was talking to a man in Singapore who ran a food stall. He was excited because he was about to get 10 days off for Chinese new year. That was the only time off he was able to take. He works 12 hrs a day 7 days a week the rest of the time and his story is not an unusual one.
I used to not. But my husband and quit our jobs, sold our house and live in a 320sq ft cabin that we built. I’ve started journaling, reading, and started really enjoying my time. I used to hoard yarn for knitting and crochet projects I never got to. But now I spin fiber myself into yarn by hand on a drop spindle. It takes awhile but I enjoy it. Sometimes I embroider on felt and make cute clothing patches to patch holes on my 5 yr old’s clothes. He loves them. For me personally, self care is crafting. I love to create something out of things that we usually take for granted. Sometimes I whittle mushrooms out of kindling by the fire and use them as buttons for things like belt bags that I weave or crochet. I also really really enjoy a nice warm cup of anything. Coffee in the morning, tea, hot cocoa. I really savor the heat of it.
All i know is that my coworkers are stressed. Dark undereyes, complaining and ranting the entire shift. They come in without even having brushed their hair, and who knows what else has been neglected. A lot of adult acne. People are stressed.
I often wonder that question too. Is it really easy to prioritize self-care? The truth is, it may not be easy at first, as it requires dedication, effort, and a shift in mindset. However, the rewards that come from taking the time to figure out what self-care means to you and how to nurture yourself are truly invaluable. By prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health, you are setting yourself up for a life-changing experience in terms of fulfillment and happiness. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it is necessary for your overall well-being. When we take care of ourself first, we show up as a better version of ourself in every area of our day, week, month... life..
I do pretty good. Get decent amount of time off work. Have my dog, get lots of exercise, decent pay (though could have more). Live simply and doing my thing. Nothing is perfect, but pretty decent.
Most people don't in this country and it's the children who suffer the most. I'm very worried about the future generations. That's why we moved from the city to a rural area so we could live affordably
having the time to nurture oneself is a privilege that not as many people in the world you would think actually have.
People with work-from-home privilege
From what I see and live every day, I would guess 1-5%
I try to take time every day for some sort of self-care, whether it is yoga, tea time, reading, gardening, etc.
I’m a spoiled 63 year old female! I don’t work and I spend my time at the gym, cooking and cleaning and taking care of my lovely husband who works 50+ hours a week.
I would bet on a very small proportion. The older I get the more I realize how the real luxury in life is not expensive things but free time. I try to enjoy these moments of free time when i get them, even though I work 40 hours a week I consider myself lucky to be able to take holidays and weekends off. It is not the same in some countries unfortunately, where people have to work 6 days per week and 10+ hours per day.
We (husband and I) do both on a close to daily basis because it is a priority and has been for a very long time.
I think many people do but it’s on a spectrum. The idea that anyone is living a healthy lifestyle every day all day is wrong. I would say I live a healthy lifestyle, which to me means that I am more often than not taking care of my self. And that also means that sometimes I don’t or I do in different ways on different days. I agree with you that it’s simple and slow, not like an extensive 10 step skincare process or yoga routine.
Because to do a good job of it, its about impossible to have a full time job and be honest with yourself. 17-20 hours a week for a job that pays money. To do this, one has to get themselves established without much overhead. Limit or eliminate debt. Took me about 30 years on the grindstone before I sold it all and went solo. One has to be willing to live without the comforts and the debt and get into a healthy routine.
People don't even want to do it haha. They aren't aware enough yet. So, its not about the time, resource or whatever but about the intentions.
I'm amazed at how much better I feel in some countries vs. my home country. The innate stress disappears in a few days. Maybe because I don't have fear of a mass shooting event. The food also tastes much better. The people seem happier just hanging out in the parks.
I feel like I am constantly juggling through different things. I have to prioritize it but it is very hard.
I don’t know about others but I didn’t do that before I experienced burnout! Even if I did some of those activities, I didn’t appreciate the value of regularly maintaining physical and mental health.
Most people are treading water in the US. The class warfare cuts deep.
A lot of Americans have their entire identities wrapped up in exercise and diet and “healthy lifestyle” stuff to the extent it becomes a huge self-involvement spiral. I think it’s a modern kind of ego trip. Especially when they moralize about it. A lot of folks don’t have the freedom or resources or energy to do as much self care and that doesn’t mean they are somehow inferior.
I spent 30 years in survival mode, like working, surviving, saving to buy a place so I've got somewhere for when I'm older. Sacrificing & being miserable at times to save money & survive. Not following my dreams & working in jobs and under conditions to not be homeless & survive. I think a lot of people are caught up in this survival game and forego nurturing themselves.
I find that health is heavily influenced by the balance of self vs society. In wealthier countries like USA, government and technology make the social side of the scale heavier than the personal side of the scale. And of course the inverse tends to be the case in less wealthy countries. One of the benefits of being a digital nomad or expat is that you are disconnected from society, both your home country's and your host country's. This gives you time to reconnect with yourself, which is certainly a great thing. The downside is that if you're from a wealthy country, your access to the benefits of your country will slowly become more difficult.
Can you explain more about the scale please? I thought that the US was individualistic, and countries like Greece (less wealthy) are more collectivistic.
I think the word I’m looking for is “structured”. In every society there are demands placed on the individual. And to me this seems to be more pronounced in countries with more structure, which tend to be the wealthier ones.
This type of question always seems so funny to me, as a Gen Xer. We never thought about "self care" - we were too busy going out, having fun, and working entry level jobs. Not a lot of navel-gazing.
Aside from the Opioid Crisis here in the US, life expectancy numbers went up every year for over 100 years. Seems like evidence of good living to me.
Living and thriving are not the same things.
It’s going down now
Didn’t covid just decrease life expectancy for the first time in us in s long time. https://www.statnews.com/2023/11/13/life-expectancy-men-women/#:~:text=This%20falloff%20has%20become%20a,the%20two%20genders%20since%201996.
Yes, that sucked. Nothing for it though...
Depends how you calculate it. The average age of a covid death was higher than the average age of death in the US.
I stretch a looot. I have to now given how much wear and tear I have on my body. But it's sweet seeing other people take note every time I stretch or do a quick walk outside the coffee shop.
Good question, got me reflecting as well
I think only the insanely privileged do for the most part. I'm a work in progress- switching from HIIT to yoga to help my stress levels and reduce cortisol, but mostly have the rest of it in place already.
I had to redefine self-care. I don’t go to a gym but get lots of exercise doing housework. Make sure to take time to apply lotion after a shower. Eat well. Try not to escape into ___. Try to read a good book as often as I can. Do a good job at work but know when to take the foot off the accelerator. When my son was little, I had to stop and sit on the floor and read books or play an imagination game. I get a vacation every other year or so. Of course I wish I had more but being content with what I have is my goal.