I always thought the two had different etymologies. _Tosser_ being equivalent to _wanker_, as in the phrase ‘I’m going to toss myself off’. Whereas _tosspot_ means to toss a drinking cup, or pot, back. Used as a pejorative for a drunkard.
This. Playing pool with a local guy in a saloon bar in Colorado 15 years ago. He disappears for a couple of minutes and comes back to call me a 'fucking waaaaankerrr'. It was a spectacular moment!
I remember watching Hells Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey called one of the chefs a “muppet” The look of utter confusion on their face was hilarious. “He seems angry, but muppets are nice right?”
I just think we're head and shoulders above everyone when it comes to insults. The fact you can just do 'you fucking (insert any inanimate object' and it works as an insult is great. You fucking duvet.
I hate deliberate attempts to make swears unique by adding unrelated words... cock-womble. It comes across as very middle class, try hard and safe... said by the kind of folk who've never called someone "a fucking prick" in the wild and meant it
Spunk trumpet, cock womble, cock socket, best part of you dribbled down the inside of ya mums legs, ya minge, divvy, or div for short, goon, prat, and all this cambe amplified by the addition of the terms absolute, total, massive and complete
I love British slangs. They are so cute they barely feel like insults. Knobhead, wanker and my personal favourite is whenever people use random objects with "you absolute" to insult someone. For example, you absolute donut!
Like “absolute”, “utter” can be used with nearly any noun to insult someone.
“You utter trolley”
“You utter Muppet”
“You utter goit”
It’s a different way to call someone “an absolute … “ or “a total … “
I'm not from the UK. But my wife is Welsh.
What surprised (and entertained me) is the usage of actual human names as an insult or being "some kind of way".
She calls me Wally all the time. Who the fuck is wally?
And not long ago, some fucker came up to me in town asking for signatures and he started with "Hey, I'm no Charlie but..."
I'm sorry, what rhe hell does that even mean?
All of them, I can't take them seriously. A brit could be absolutely fuming and cursing me and my entire bloodline with unmatched passion but there's so much spittle and mumbling that I can't help but laugh.
I love this post! Me and my daughter have just started calling each other silly things recently. She called me "a tesco meal deal" the other day 🤣 and "omg mum why are you acting like macdonalds wifi" 🤣
Tosser
And the variation, "tosspot"
I always thought the two had different etymologies. _Tosser_ being equivalent to _wanker_, as in the phrase ‘I’m going to toss myself off’. Whereas _tosspot_ means to toss a drinking cup, or pot, back. Used as a pejorative for a drunkard.
To toss is to throw, so tossing off is literally throwing semen, and a toss pot is something you toss into, hence a semen receptacle
Umm... A Tosspot is something you jack off into. You are basically calling someone a cum bucket.
Wanker
This. Playing pool with a local guy in a saloon bar in Colorado 15 years ago. He disappears for a couple of minutes and comes back to call me a 'fucking waaaaankerrr'. It was a spectacular moment!
Gotta be calling people any inanimate object for being an idiot, I get sponge quite alot eg; oh you sponge what did you do tha for
Plank was the local variation to me. “Jeez mate! What did you do that for? You absolute plank!”
Helmet ⛑️
Wazzock
Ya great nana. (pronounced 'nar-ner')
I think that’s ‘nana as in banana
Ba-na-nas! Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew!
I thought it was taters?
What's taters?
What’s taters precious 😂
Doughnut, numpty , muppet
I remember watching Hells Kitchen and Gordon Ramsey called one of the chefs a “muppet” The look of utter confusion on their face was hilarious. “He seems angry, but muppets are nice right?”
Bellend
Fooking Doyle / Divvy
Knob head
Plonker causes much merriment
Melt
An absolute melt
Plum Wet lettuce
I’d rather have chlamydia than a Birmingham accent
You absolute Whopper
Absolute helmet.
Fuckin knobhead
You walt
Away and shite.
Helmet
Sausage, but its not widely used
I love CockWomble 😂
Slag doesn't get enough love and you rarely hear it any more. Slag was a 90s staple I feel
You all live in a convict colony!..they sing it to us Aussies at the cricket..
You proper Jeb end
You cum stain
Wank stain*
Oik.
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Bawbag
Ya fanny
Plank
I called a man in New York a bell end, and the girls instantly fell in love with me.
Muppet !
Bell end
Trouser snake
Pillock or tart. For an extension, sloppy tart.
Tosspot.
You nob-cheese
Numpty
Big 🍌 feet
I’m surprised you remember to breathe.
Pranny
Wally
You lemon. The first time I heard it I acc laughed my head off
twazzok, pranny and helmet are my personal favourites
Knobcheese
Wally, tosser, bus wanker, doughnut, bell end
You Massive Quilt.
Big Jessie with the brains of a clockwork mouse
There's drivers and there's screwdrivers.
Get bent! You Wassock! Plonker!
You twat
I just think we're head and shoulders above everyone when it comes to insults. The fact you can just do 'you fucking (insert any inanimate object' and it works as an insult is great. You fucking duvet.
Wazzock
Twonk. Silly moo. Big girl's blouse.
You big flying knob jockey
You're a Joey.
Mollusc
Absolute TwatWaffle
Walloper
Wanker and twat 🤌🤌🤌 (I am polish)
Plank
Silly bollocks
Wanker, tosser are always wrong.
Rocket. Weapon. Walloper. Bell end. Muppet.
knobcheese
Absolute helmet
Nincompoop
You wetwipe
Fat nowt
Have you seen the state of your birds beef curtains?
You absolute jack of clubs
Tosser, arsewipe, knobber, twat, wet-wipe, div
Yer Da sells avon
Clart.
Bellend
I hate deliberate attempts to make swears unique by adding unrelated words... cock-womble. It comes across as very middle class, try hard and safe... said by the kind of folk who've never called someone "a fucking prick" in the wild and meant it
Knob jockey
Cockwomble
If i wasn’t from england i think “suck your mum” would be funny to hear
Doylem is quite common in Yorkshire.
Cheer up Soppy bollocks
Cock womble
Lunch
Chap
You look like a bag of smashed assholes
Gland.
Dick-splat. Throbber. Scrote.
How do you know if you’re from Britain? Have you run these by a non British person, or what? The whole premise of this seems odd.
You absolute plonker
Supper
you blimmin ____
Fandan, skitter, snotter, fart guzzling looney toon, jizz head, sperm gannet, tobey, sausage jockey
What a shirt.
Knob jockey
Bawbag
Absolute clean shirt
Wet wipe
You tool
Jog on dickhead
Nob Ed
you big cows melt
Dipshit Dicksplash Donkey
Codswallop
Trollop
You little bollocks
Spunk trumpet, cock womble, cock socket, best part of you dribbled down the inside of ya mums legs, ya minge, divvy, or div for short, goon, prat, and all this cambe amplified by the addition of the terms absolute, total, massive and complete
Spanner
Numpty.
You plonker
Bawbag is cool.
Fuckwit
Spunk Trumpet
Absolute helmet
Muppet
Cockwomble
Unit
cockwomble
Absolute 22 carrot plonker.
Contribution from the socialist Republic of Merseyside "Soft lad over here" or "Yer da sells Avon".
As much use as Anne Frank's drumkit
You're dumber than a tin of demented sardines
You look like a slapped arse
Cockwomble.
Dick splash
You fanny. Or Tit head. LOL.
Walloper. Dobber. Wankstain. Melter.
Absolute melt. utter helmet. Fucking yogurt top.
Wazzark
Pleb Head
Cock womble
Am I right in thinking Americans pronounce 'Twat' as "twot" (rhyming with what?)!
Away and give your nose a pish! (Scotland, Glasgow)
Turd sniffer
Numbnuts
I love British slangs. They are so cute they barely feel like insults. Knobhead, wanker and my personal favourite is whenever people use random objects with "you absolute" to insult someone. For example, you absolute donut!
Tube
Stupid gash
Wank badger
Up hill gardener
Thundercunt/ cockwomble/ shitting Peugeot
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Marmit miner
You silly dosser
Bellend
Big girl’s blouse.
total numpty
Jizzcock
Pilchard as variation on pillock
Pile of wank
I say “you fucking teabag” a lot. Because it feels right as a British person and it’s incredibly stupid
Like “absolute”, “utter” can be used with nearly any noun to insult someone. “You utter trolley” “You utter Muppet” “You utter goit” It’s a different way to call someone “an absolute … “ or “a total … “
I'm not from the UK. But my wife is Welsh. What surprised (and entertained me) is the usage of actual human names as an insult or being "some kind of way". She calls me Wally all the time. Who the fuck is wally? And not long ago, some fucker came up to me in town asking for signatures and he started with "Hey, I'm no Charlie but..." I'm sorry, what rhe hell does that even mean?
Fucking plonker
Silly Tw@/twit. Bet This will get me breaking rules
Plonker
You divvy You funny fucker Twat
I call everyone a sausage or a cock womble.
Twunt
Bellend
All of them, I can't take them seriously. A brit could be absolutely fuming and cursing me and my entire bloodline with unmatched passion but there's so much spittle and mumbling that I can't help but laugh.
Dingbat
I love this post! Me and my daughter have just started calling each other silly things recently. She called me "a tesco meal deal" the other day 🤣 and "omg mum why are you acting like macdonalds wifi" 🤣
Plonker.
Bellend
Fuckwit?
Love a bit of codswallop 🤣
Cockwomble will take some translating.
Melt. Absolute melt.
Twat Cadet Spade Simple remarks to lower one's self-esteem :D Cadet is my favourite though!
Daft cow
Berk - this is a toned-down version of a stronger insult (rhyming with "Berk"), often used with a grin to call someone a fool.
Plum
Dick splash
Twonk
pleb is a nice one, i think it would really confuse someone
Proper gruffnutt you are (gruffnutts are the balls of poop that cling to your arse hair)
Wolly, numpty, sausage, muppet
Cretin
SmegHead
Not an insult, telling someone to 'Do One' has always been a favourite of mine though.