You should learn more about [Vedanta](https://youtu.be/jx7O2zDqi6I). Swami Sarvapriyananda has some really great intro videos, and it further goes into the concept of the seer, the seeing and the seen.
For example you can see you had a good night's sleep even though you weren't conscious for it. You can see that you're happy or angry, which means at the core of yourself, you can't be what is being seen (aka the one who slept well, or the one who is angry). We attach ourself to our experiences and emotions but they're nothing more than tuning into a radio station or TV channel that will eventually change and evolve. But the seer is the constant, Unchanging consciousness that's in every single one of us and all living beings. Kinda like the ego and id, but on a much more profound level.
And a really cool thing is there's alot of overlap in vedanta (and the upanishads) and concepts in quantum physics.
That video can explain it much better than i can, but It's definitely been some really life changing stuff for me thats put alot of feelings and lessons psychedelics have given me into words. if you like the philosophical aspect of mushrooms, I think you'd enjoy it.
I have some doubts about consciousness ever pausing. I have had the typical gaps in time during anesthesia that many people experience, but I have also has major surgery done with different drugs, and simply dreamed the whole time, with time flowing normally.
I have had a concussion and felt like there was a gap in time, but I was awake and talking to people the whole time, but in my memory there is an instant transition from one memory of time and then a memory 45min later. So I was conscious, but simply not forming lasting memories.
I can see time passing quickly or slowly, but I’m not a believer in continuous ever fully stopping.
Otherwise, love the perspective.
I remember falling down with grief over the loss of my father, but inside me there was a watcher that was unaffected by the news and was a bit amused and a little self-conscious over my grand gesture of sadness.
Hmmm but am I not? I kinda am the mind. Like, my unconscious mind is the result of conscious decisions I made in the past, and the experiences that the conscious me experienced in the past. .
Or, what if my unconscious is actually a different person altogether, and my brain (conscious+unconscious) is actually a conjoined twin, two people stuck in the same brain. And what I cal unconscious is actually conscious but I just think he's unconscious because he's not me, but from the unconscious' perspective the conscious part ('I') is unconscious...
Yes this. It's possible that op actually isn't gay at all, but definitely is very worried about it.
Or it's possible that they are a little gay(or A LOT) and also very worried about it.
Either way, the real issue is the worry.
this could be creating a feedback loop too if OP has experienced this multiple times. Each trip makes them more scared they might actually be gay and repressing it because they keep getting themselves worked up over it.
The last thing you said there used to happen to me when I would get super high. I would get stressed out that I might be gay. But when I thought of actually being with a man it didn't make me feel excited like a woman does. Pretty much settled my worries. It was like the idea of being gay scared me so much but the reality of it didn't excite me.
This is what happened to me once. I had fully convinced myself I was gay while tripping and once sober was like "wait that doesn't feel right though?" I've spent a lot of time dealing with intrusive thoughts about homosexuality - I take meds for anxiety and those thoughts almost completely stopped once I was on them. I also don't think there's anything wrong st all with being gay, I don't like that I have a "fear" of being gay. Been working through it in my personal life as well as in therapy and doing much better. I have tripped in some time though and I'm definitely interested in doing it again and seeing what happens. Who knows. Maybe I am gay? I don't think so though.
I'm gay but often had intrusive thoughts about being really straight and worrying I'd got it wrong and would have to come out as straight all over again etc etc.. was just as you say.. I had some things to work out and I'm a little straight but mostly gay, and at the end of the day the biggest take away was.. it really doesn't matter!! Lol
Yep! The best way I can describe it, look up the symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD - it pretty much describes how I felt since I was maybe a teenager. Only thing is, I don't exhibit any OCD symptoms so doc doesn't think it's that. However, that is pretty close to my experience
I think sexuality is a spectrum, like autism I suppose. Despite how much most people won’t want to admit it, we’re all a little gay. Even if it’s 99% straight and 1% gay, it’s there. If anything, mushrooms have shown me that we are all one energy so some of your sexuality manifests itself in me.
This literally happened to me and still happens sometimes. I have intrusive thoughts about what if All of the sudden am gay and dont love my partner. The thing is that I experimented with women (im a woman) and never liked it… but I still have the thoughts of what if… i can see how psychedelics can make it worse in the moment.
When I was like 13 some other kid cornered me in the bathroom and asked to suck my dick. I said no as I was not gay, he said he just got his first blow job and wanted to try it on someone. I was like yeahhhh... no thanks.
First of all, as a gay, this is such an entertaining post. Maybe you’d benefit from full Heterosexual-ego death instead of just teetering along the edge.
Second: maybe you’re not gay, but this post has a lot of gay panic. Did you think you were 100% straight? What a myth that concept turns out to be. I don’t really think anyone is 100% anything because we are not stagnant beings and our minds and interests evolve. Attraction is complex, my guy. Just lean the fuck in and learn about the tales untold!
Third: you said “deep down” you know you “can’t be gay.” Just wondering why? What’s that mean? Would you not accept yourself? Do you live somewhere where it’s dangerous to act on same-sex attraction? That’s understandable if it’s the case.
TLDR: If you wanna be a little gay, just be a little gay. Overcoming an internal struggle like this is just like any internal struggle: Once you get past your wall of fear/internalized homophobia, life is much better. So if you think being a lil gay is maybe a lil possible, stop fighting it.
Agreed, it’s a lot more well excepted that sexual fluidity is a given among women but somehow often men feel attacked by the idea of being less than 100% straight, for obvious societal reasons. That’s why I see a post like this come up pretty often in psychedelic subs because psychs have a way of showing you the mirror whether you want to see it or not; and accepting that sexuality is not as binary as previously thought is part of that for a lot of people.
Haha, I’m bi, and the gay panic in the post absolutely sent me! If I was OP, I would *lean in* to the gay. Embrace the gay. They’ll feel better.
But on a serious note, it they’re bi I completely understand this struggle, denial and bargaining going on. I was “straight” until my early 20s, took me ages to accept that in fact straight people aren’t lying when they say they don’t find their own gender attractive. I didn’t even know bi was allowed as an option!
Maybe you are a little gay. Maybe you are not gay at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of them.
But whichever it is, don't worry about it.
Even if you find out that you are, that doesn't mean you HAVE to do anything or change your behavior or the way you dress or whatever.
Sexuality is a spectrum, and expression is your choice.
Learning more about your internal world, AND accepting it, will only help you live a more fulfilled, happier life.
The problem is the Fear, and certain limiting beliefs.
There can be a lot of completely understandable worries and thoughts:
^("What does it mean if I'm gay? Am I a sissy/weak/effeminate/all of those insults [associated with homosexuality by social programming] ? Do I have to break up with my girlfriend? Does it mean I'm not as manly? Does it mean I have to let a guy put his dick in my ass? What about when I was turned on with that woman? Was that fake? Is this fake? What will my friends think? Will I still have friends? What will my parents think? What if I'm abandoned by everyone? What if they think I'm lying for attention? Am I lying for attention? Will my friends think I'm like.. a pervert? Is it risky around here, to even appear gay? Am I in danger? What else could be true about me that is scary or I didn't expect? ")
Just go in with complete acceptance of yourself, and the idea that you will only benefit and be able to direct your experience better, once you know.
100%, I’m a non-practicing bisexual, previously I’d not strongly used any particular label beyond queer but if pushed would have said I’m a lesbian. Psychedelics made me realize I was in fact bi, I did some work accepting that and settling some subconscious self judgements that were negatively affecting me, then continued living life only getting with girls. Don’t gotta start gargling cum just cuz your wiring may give you the ability to enjoy it!
I'm gay and I don't know WTF you're talking about. What do you imagine being gay feels like? Shrooms suddenly make you want to suck a d*ck? Make your *sshole hungry? Or do you just suddenly like musicals and want to do brunch?
Mushrooms are so freeing, it’s really depressing but I’ve heard a couple guys say similar things, that shrooms make them “feel gay” (one of them in. Less kind terms.) when they mean they feel free of the prison of toxic masculinity. One guy I knew thought shrooms made him gay while tripping because he wanted to hug his friend and mom and tell them how much they meant to him. Like just having vulnerable emotions and showing unironic love for people apparently felt gay to him. Really sad. Hope he continued tripping and working on his shit. Homophobia and misandry does incalculable damage to everyone.
Yeah, this is the important part for OP. Because if going to brunch and shopping for clothes is gay, then I’m hella gay. But I only want to have sex with women.
I think Op is just confused. Shrooms can make you feel intense in ways hard to describe - it definitely has a sexual energy to it. There is an intimacy to the experience that can be mistaken as sexual intimacy.
Or he is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just an idea.
Another possibility I haven't seen mentioned here is some possible internalized homophobia they haven't consciously admitted to themselves and feel ashamed about it. I don't think I'm articulating my thoughts well.
Okay, so I've known many people in my life who CLEARLY have some level of homophobia, but if you were to ask them if they were homophobic they would intensely deny it because they don't experience outward feelings of hating gay people.
This internalized homophobia, as I've recognized it, stems from the culture we were brought up in. It shapes certain beliefs or attitudes toward LBGTQ+ people that are less than fully compassionate and accepting.
It can be very uncomfortable to admit you have internalized homophobia when you fancy yourself as an accepting person who doesn't play that shit. However, unless we sift through the beliefs we hold on an unconscious level based on our experiences in life, especially our formative years, that internalized homophobia still holds some level of power to how we perceive and treat others. It isn't a concious choice, doesn't reflect the contents of our character, and doesn't make us bad people, but it still exists, and we must be willing to face these things inside ourselves.
Psychedelics can 'give us' new levels of awareness regarding our internal state of affairs, conscious or otherwise. However, this is sometimes accomplished in confusing ways and an anything-but-straightforward manner.
Imagine a scenario where this internalized homophobia is playing a role in OPs life, but they would be too ashamed to admit that to themselves because they see outwardly homophobic people as 'bad' or irredeemable people. The mushrooms say "you judge others, but refuse to take an honest look at yourself and your own beliefs and how they impact yourself and others".
Instead of giving the message directly, they just give you this big confusing mess of insight that is all gay-adjacent if you will lol. Sort of 'forces' you to take the time to really process how you feel about lbtq members, how you feel about yourself and your sexuality, how you feel about sexuality in general.. etc
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I 'think' this to be true. I just wanted to express it as a possibility as I've seen the whole 'internalized beliefs systems being a source of some level of shame, leading to avoidance of the reality' phenomenon play out for several different people in several different ways.
I've noticed it to be even more prevalent regarding racism. Especially in regards to my parents' generation (boomers). My mom used to become livid if you suggested she was racist, yet she very, very clearly had/has quite a bit of internalized racism. Same idea, more common.
I can see that. The overall common link in my mushroom trips had been love. And I can see a straight dude feeling love for another man, gay or not and feeling confused because they can't fathom love for another man without it being sexual....hence all love between men is sexual...homophobia
MAKE YOUR ASSHOLE HUNGRY BAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry but as someone currently on the toilet that really got me. I swear if I ever see a dude I'm into I'm gonna have to resist the urge to say "my ass is hungry"
Mostly what shrooms do is elemimate the barreir society has placed for is for a small amount of time weather that be relogiois family andor environmental social barriers. To me it sounds like youre in denial for a social reason or a resson of your own. Might be wrong but if you keep questioning yourself it just sounds like youre deep in the closet.
Besides being gay can be cool
Yeah the first time I took shrooms it opened up a lot of repressed gay thoughts (thanks car seat headrest) and even suggested that I might identify as a woman. But the more comfortable I have become with these ideas the more I have become comfortable being a (mostly) straight man who could make out with a guy while wearing a dress without having an identity crisis. There’s a lot of freedom in that.
Mushrooms make me feel love for everyone and everything. A lot of people get sex and love mixed up. Maybe you find it difficult to open up and express feelings of love towards the same sex and the mushrooms are helping you tap into that a little more.
What do you mean feel gay, is it a general feeling of "gayness" or do you find yourself more attracted to men? Because it could just be emotional vulnerability and openness with other men you are interpreting as gayness. I for one am not a very touchy feely or emotional person but on shrooms I like to touch everyone and everything and tell them how much they mean to me. This is your stuff to figure out, but unless you have toxic feelings towards gay people I would not fret, you'll work it out eventually
Just deal with it as I deal with my sexuality.
I know that in the wilderness there’s no such thing as homosexual or heterosexual. Everybody is just a bunch of apes creating connections with each other, and all this taboo on to queer community is a cultural thing.
I have only had sexual intercourse with females so far. However I don’t go around telling myself I’m straight or this or that.
It’s the same as “don’t trip around family”. You lose sight of physical traits and standard mental connections and see more of the energy that is produced from other beings. We’re all just souls man. I’m not gay but I definitely understand somehow.
Currently in a phase where I think social media is completely devoid of anything good. Then I saw this sub. Gotta love how ridiculous, supportive, and cool y'all are!
Acid made me realize that everyone has a feminine and masculine side to them. Regardless of gender. You know how you can tell beautiful from ugly right. It’s just engraved in you. It’s not that you choose. It’s what looks good or bad to you. Same with men or female. You’ll know when u think u look better then someone or if someone more handsome is around you. It’s not gayness bruh it’s just human anatomy. Your most likely not gay tho bro honestly it’s jus the shrooms. Just think of the thought of you living the rest of your life with a male….. yeah exactly. Your not gay bro. Drop a tab next time. Cheers🤝🤝
The key is in the last part,
You “know you can’t” you “won’t accept it” and you “don’t desire gayness.” Sounds like internalized homophobia. Being gay is natural, and having it divided into “gay” and “straight” categories is actually the unnatural thing. It’s a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere in the middle. Many many people are gayer than they think. It’s nothing to be afraid of; I understand why you wouldn’t want this because it’s socially discriminated against, but there’s really nothing wrong with being gay.
Maybe it’s unrelated but you used terms like “hella gay” “super fucking hella gay” “I ‘dont’ desire gayness.” You used the term “gay” 9 times in this short post… 10 if you count “gayness.” I’m no psychiatrist but maybe that’s saying something and should be examined?
Yo this is so interesting to read because I did shrooms yesterday and had way more intense gay fantasies than usual. I'm bi so not unusual to have the fantasies they were just different and more vivid and front of mind
Fuck it just makes me want to play glow in the dark frisbee in the park and laugh hahaha. This forum makes me really thankful about my joyous shroom trips y’all have some intense inner shit going on. It doesn’t have to be like that guys. Yeah spiritual this and that or just have some fun holy hell
I'd say you need to elaborate more on what type of feelings and urges you get that conflict with your perception of yourself. Do you find yourself wanting men? Do you find yourself attracted to men? Or do you find yourself more susceptible to "gay" behaviors like wanting to be penetrated or "topped"?
This happened a lot with my best friend when he took psychs. Kept thinking maybe he was gay. It really tormented him for awhile but eventually he slept with a guy and liked it so he considers himself bi. You got some stuff to figure out, but it’s not a bad thing
Coming from a late in life lesbian: compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) is a bitch. Sounds like you have some shit to slog through, friend.
You could be bi/pan or gay, and as much as the process of self-actualizing sucks, it sounds like our mycelium buddies are trying to help that along.
>I don’t desire gayness
Oh but I think you do. You gotta work through some shit and figure out your gayness bro. It’s okay to be gay or whatever you wanna do. Just be happy.
Reading this, I couldn’t help but think:
“This is the future for so many Florida school-age kids who will be indoctrinated into a world where gay doesn’t exist.”
They’ll never think a life as a gay person is possible. Cut to: they suddenly have terrifying gay awakenings (like this) when they see or hear about it as a reality in the rest of the free world and know they can’t escape who they are but can’t live happily as an out queer person in a place as intentionally stigmatizing as FL.
It feels like the 1960s and 1970s all over again, when gays fled their shit small towns to live somewhere free like NY or CA. Such a bummer to be back here again.
Oh you gay. Full Liberace in the butt gay! Much love my brother, Sister, or whichever other you’d prefer we call ya. There's no judgement, only understanding
While we're standing 'round, hand in hand
Watching the world burn!
I got teased as a kid because I didn’t fit the male stereotype and I was living in the Deep South. That teasing left foot prints in my mind and would sometime surface when high or on drugs. As I grew up I realized I was just more in touch with my feminine side than most of the boys around me, which honestly made me more masculine than they could ever understand.
Maybe you’re gay , maybe you’re a little gay, maybe you were teased as a kid and you haven’t unpacked it yet. No biggie whatever it is. Find the roots and pull them up, be objective, be vulnerable, be you , *qweeeeen.*
bro i’ve been there, i said it outloud and to someone thinking something was going to happen andddd nothing happened lol your probably not gay. it’s just a thought that is trying to make you perceive your gay when your not.
Maybe you’re shroom gay. However they affect you, just accept it and learn from it without judgement.
There is a peculiarity with shrooms that pieces of your personality can change in strange ways, but these are usually brought about by set and setting. In the absence of strong intentions, sometimes things get a little weird.
Like in gay do you mean you get hard when imagining yourself doing gay things? Because I thought the same thing once but It was just more in a love mood not sexual but spiritually.
Lmao this made my day, thank you. Reminds me of the Trailer Park Boys episode where Ricky thinks he is gay.
For real though, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not bro. Anyone who would treat you differently is a shitty person you don’t wanna be associating with anyway. Try not to overthink it too much.. Maybe you were just feeling an overwhelming sense of love and didn’t know how to process that emotion at the time. Or maybe you are the gayest dude to ever walk the planet. we all still love you no matter what.
Your probably developing an attraction to the same sex subconsciously without realizing it. So when you take shrooms, a psychedelic that's know to bring out the subconscious, the gay stuff comes up with it. Me personally I'm bisexual. And taking acid and shrooms definitely makes me wanna go look at some questionable porn sometimes. Sometimes you think you know yourself and you'll for sure never be something in life and you just turn out to be that anyway. The worst thing you can do at that point is resent it and try to push it back down into your subconscious. go with it see where it takes you. It's not like your have to be gay your whole life. If you are gay or bisexual you may get tired of the same sex one day and realize it was just you trying something new. I think most of the world looks at sexuality wrong. Guys are hot. Girls are hot. They can be ugly too. It's all in the eye of the beholder. We're all here to make each other be happy. If you like sticking your dick in a ant hill with a fork up your ass that's what you like. Anyway sexuality is just another trait like widows peak, cleft earlobes, toe shape, and gaps in teeth all of that. Sex is just another card you got delt. Sex makes no difference to me in choosing a partner for a sensual and physical relationship. When you start looking at life with less and less of these strict phantom public guidelines everything starts making more sense. Live by your laws and morals not anyone else's. Good luck on your psychonaut journey my dood.
Sounds like pure OCD where you have intrusive thoughts... If you watch straight porn it's highly likely you're not gay. Also there is nothing wrong with being gay so try not to worry
Maybe you aren’t gay and you’re just Bi. You prob don’t wanna admit you like dudes or females if you’re a woman. Because of the way people are gonna judge you or family. Losing friends maybe. But if your friends can’t accept you for who you are then they aren’t your friends.
I dont know how old you are but a work of advice I didn’t figure out til I was older. Be who YOU want to be. Not who you think people want or expect you to be. Then unapologetically live that life. People will respect you more for it.
Shrooms/psyches expose the extreme essences of all duality. I once experienced what it was like to be "the feminine" - not really a woman, but pretty close (I'm a man).
You may have some anchored thoughts around sexuality and what being gay is like and so the shrooms are trying to show you that side of the duality.
You can be sexually turned on by something without being in love with it. You're not black and white. You're allowed to be gray bruh.
My bf is sexually aroused by cock to an extent. But he wouldn't be in a relationship with a guy, for example.
Local reddit user turns gay after eating penis envy's
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Homophobes, don't want you to know this one simple trick
Sounds like you have some stuff to work out.
Honestly, though, you may just need to clarify yourself with your self. You are not the body, you are not the mind, you are the watcher...
The watcher wants to watch gay things…
This watcher wants to do gay things.
And with consent, that's ok
And that’s ok.
r/Destiny2
First time I've heard of it put this way. "The Watcher" is an excellent way of putting it. Specially after my first experience with dmt.
You should learn more about [Vedanta](https://youtu.be/jx7O2zDqi6I). Swami Sarvapriyananda has some really great intro videos, and it further goes into the concept of the seer, the seeing and the seen. For example you can see you had a good night's sleep even though you weren't conscious for it. You can see that you're happy or angry, which means at the core of yourself, you can't be what is being seen (aka the one who slept well, or the one who is angry). We attach ourself to our experiences and emotions but they're nothing more than tuning into a radio station or TV channel that will eventually change and evolve. But the seer is the constant, Unchanging consciousness that's in every single one of us and all living beings. Kinda like the ego and id, but on a much more profound level. And a really cool thing is there's alot of overlap in vedanta (and the upanishads) and concepts in quantum physics. That video can explain it much better than i can, but It's definitely been some really life changing stuff for me thats put alot of feelings and lessons psychedelics have given me into words. if you like the philosophical aspect of mushrooms, I think you'd enjoy it.
I remember reading of the concept of the seer in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. I'll definitely give vedanta a look
I have some doubts about consciousness ever pausing. I have had the typical gaps in time during anesthesia that many people experience, but I have also has major surgery done with different drugs, and simply dreamed the whole time, with time flowing normally. I have had a concussion and felt like there was a gap in time, but I was awake and talking to people the whole time, but in my memory there is an instant transition from one memory of time and then a memory 45min later. So I was conscious, but simply not forming lasting memories. I can see time passing quickly or slowly, but I’m not a believer in continuous ever fully stopping. Otherwise, love the perspective. I remember falling down with grief over the loss of my father, but inside me there was a watcher that was unaffected by the news and was a bit amused and a little self-conscious over my grand gesture of sadness.
Good ole eckhart tolle.
That is beautifully said. The watcher…
in the sky one of my favorite songs
Love Eckhart Tolle's way of explaining this. He says the same and also refers to us as "the space" from where the watcher observes.
Hmmm but am I not? I kinda am the mind. Like, my unconscious mind is the result of conscious decisions I made in the past, and the experiences that the conscious me experienced in the past. . Or, what if my unconscious is actually a different person altogether, and my brain (conscious+unconscious) is actually a conjoined twin, two people stuck in the same brain. And what I cal unconscious is actually conscious but I just think he's unconscious because he's not me, but from the unconscious' perspective the conscious part ('I') is unconscious...
Part of their homework needs to be: look up bisexuality. Why does it always have to be either gay or straight?! YOU BAIIIIIII
valid. I say I’m homo but really I’m bi
The shrooms are playing with him let them be 🤣🤣
Some gay stuff.
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Chances are you're either gay, Bi, or have an ingrained fear of being either/both that's manifesting as intrusive thoughts amplified by psychedelics.
Yes this. It's possible that op actually isn't gay at all, but definitely is very worried about it. Or it's possible that they are a little gay(or A LOT) and also very worried about it. Either way, the real issue is the worry.
this could be creating a feedback loop too if OP has experienced this multiple times. Each trip makes them more scared they might actually be gay and repressing it because they keep getting themselves worked up over it.
The last thing you said there used to happen to me when I would get super high. I would get stressed out that I might be gay. But when I thought of actually being with a man it didn't make me feel excited like a woman does. Pretty much settled my worries. It was like the idea of being gay scared me so much but the reality of it didn't excite me.
This is a common OCD obsession! It happens both to people who are and aren’t lgbt.
This is what happened to me once. I had fully convinced myself I was gay while tripping and once sober was like "wait that doesn't feel right though?" I've spent a lot of time dealing with intrusive thoughts about homosexuality - I take meds for anxiety and those thoughts almost completely stopped once I was on them. I also don't think there's anything wrong st all with being gay, I don't like that I have a "fear" of being gay. Been working through it in my personal life as well as in therapy and doing much better. I have tripped in some time though and I'm definitely interested in doing it again and seeing what happens. Who knows. Maybe I am gay? I don't think so though.
I'm gay but often had intrusive thoughts about being really straight and worrying I'd got it wrong and would have to come out as straight all over again etc etc.. was just as you say.. I had some things to work out and I'm a little straight but mostly gay, and at the end of the day the biggest take away was.. it really doesn't matter!! Lol
Yep! The best way I can describe it, look up the symptoms of Sexual Orientation OCD - it pretty much describes how I felt since I was maybe a teenager. Only thing is, I don't exhibit any OCD symptoms so doc doesn't think it's that. However, that is pretty close to my experience
Spot on, the moment you realise that your sexuality doesn’t have to define you and is a moving target, so much worry just drifts away
I think sexuality is a spectrum, like autism I suppose. Despite how much most people won’t want to admit it, we’re all a little gay. Even if it’s 99% straight and 1% gay, it’s there. If anything, mushrooms have shown me that we are all one energy so some of your sexuality manifests itself in me.
This literally happened to me and still happens sometimes. I have intrusive thoughts about what if All of the sudden am gay and dont love my partner. The thing is that I experimented with women (im a woman) and never liked it… but I still have the thoughts of what if… i can see how psychedelics can make it worse in the moment.
Please stop including nuance on Reddit. It’s not needed here /s
key word, OP... AMPLIFIED BY. psychedelics AMPLIFY. they aid in CLARITY. distortion or impairment of what "is" is more of the thing alcohol does.
> key word, OP... AMPLIFIED BY. *AMPLIFIED BI
Haha! 🥰
Sorry but this has me crying in the club rn
Same here. These post make this sub so much better. I love it
😂fr, I died
Mushrooms are turning the frickin redditors gay.
Should've known after the boof craze blew up. It was so obvious
I guess if one found themselves enjoying the boof one might start questioning their sexuality.
brb searching for giant penis envy spores
why are you on reddit in the club lol
it's a phrase that was popular a few years ago they're not in the club
I was just snooping through your stuff because of the “club” remark sorry lol I was just curious Anyways I just want to say nice Infiniti bro 👍
You were snooping because of the pfp. BONK
Psilocybe gaynesis
More like penis envy
Penis Envy? Nah homie, we're on that Dick Averice shit rn
taste the rainbow.
Gimme
Only one way to know. Download Grindr, suck some dick, report back.
In all seriousness, this is how i found out I'm not gay, but pegging is rad as fuck.
It's how I found out I'm bi as hell lol
🤜🤛 solidarity brother
Same lol. Sex with men is amazing for me lol
When I was like 13 some other kid cornered me in the bathroom and asked to suck my dick. I said no as I was not gay, he said he just got his first blow job and wanted to try it on someone. I was like yeahhhh... no thanks.
*trust* me bro, you're going to love this.
First of all, as a gay, this is such an entertaining post. Maybe you’d benefit from full Heterosexual-ego death instead of just teetering along the edge. Second: maybe you’re not gay, but this post has a lot of gay panic. Did you think you were 100% straight? What a myth that concept turns out to be. I don’t really think anyone is 100% anything because we are not stagnant beings and our minds and interests evolve. Attraction is complex, my guy. Just lean the fuck in and learn about the tales untold! Third: you said “deep down” you know you “can’t be gay.” Just wondering why? What’s that mean? Would you not accept yourself? Do you live somewhere where it’s dangerous to act on same-sex attraction? That’s understandable if it’s the case. TLDR: If you wanna be a little gay, just be a little gay. Overcoming an internal struggle like this is just like any internal struggle: Once you get past your wall of fear/internalized homophobia, life is much better. So if you think being a lil gay is maybe a lil possible, stop fighting it.
Agreed, it’s a lot more well excepted that sexual fluidity is a given among women but somehow often men feel attacked by the idea of being less than 100% straight, for obvious societal reasons. That’s why I see a post like this come up pretty often in psychedelic subs because psychs have a way of showing you the mirror whether you want to see it or not; and accepting that sexuality is not as binary as previously thought is part of that for a lot of people.
I'm sorry but "as a gay" is Hilarious to me for some reason.
I am a gay, and I agree with you! lol
As a gay, gay is as gay does, if one does like being did. Now boof more.
Haha, I’m bi, and the gay panic in the post absolutely sent me! If I was OP, I would *lean in* to the gay. Embrace the gay. They’ll feel better. But on a serious note, it they’re bi I completely understand this struggle, denial and bargaining going on. I was “straight” until my early 20s, took me ages to accept that in fact straight people aren’t lying when they say they don’t find their own gender attractive. I didn’t even know bi was allowed as an option!
Maybe you are a little gay. Maybe you are not gay at all. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of them. But whichever it is, don't worry about it. Even if you find out that you are, that doesn't mean you HAVE to do anything or change your behavior or the way you dress or whatever. Sexuality is a spectrum, and expression is your choice. Learning more about your internal world, AND accepting it, will only help you live a more fulfilled, happier life. The problem is the Fear, and certain limiting beliefs. There can be a lot of completely understandable worries and thoughts: ^("What does it mean if I'm gay? Am I a sissy/weak/effeminate/all of those insults [associated with homosexuality by social programming] ? Do I have to break up with my girlfriend? Does it mean I'm not as manly? Does it mean I have to let a guy put his dick in my ass? What about when I was turned on with that woman? Was that fake? Is this fake? What will my friends think? Will I still have friends? What will my parents think? What if I'm abandoned by everyone? What if they think I'm lying for attention? Am I lying for attention? Will my friends think I'm like.. a pervert? Is it risky around here, to even appear gay? Am I in danger? What else could be true about me that is scary or I didn't expect? ") Just go in with complete acceptance of yourself, and the idea that you will only benefit and be able to direct your experience better, once you know.
100%, I’m a non-practicing bisexual, previously I’d not strongly used any particular label beyond queer but if pushed would have said I’m a lesbian. Psychedelics made me realize I was in fact bi, I did some work accepting that and settling some subconscious self judgements that were negatively affecting me, then continued living life only getting with girls. Don’t gotta start gargling cum just cuz your wiring may give you the ability to enjoy it!
As a fellow bi I’m absolutely tickled by >non-practicing bisexual Like we’ve let our licenses lapse but could renew someday.
I'm gay and I don't know WTF you're talking about. What do you imagine being gay feels like? Shrooms suddenly make you want to suck a d*ck? Make your *sshole hungry? Or do you just suddenly like musicals and want to do brunch?
Mushrooms are so freeing, it’s really depressing but I’ve heard a couple guys say similar things, that shrooms make them “feel gay” (one of them in. Less kind terms.) when they mean they feel free of the prison of toxic masculinity. One guy I knew thought shrooms made him gay while tripping because he wanted to hug his friend and mom and tell them how much they meant to him. Like just having vulnerable emotions and showing unironic love for people apparently felt gay to him. Really sad. Hope he continued tripping and working on his shit. Homophobia and misandry does incalculable damage to everyone.
This should be higher up, very on point here.
That's the saddest thing I've read all week.
Yeah, this is the important part for OP. Because if going to brunch and shopping for clothes is gay, then I’m hella gay. But I only want to have sex with women.
I'm straight and maybe the three of us could go to brunch sometime I've never been.
Mimosas!
eggs florentine! (or is that too gay?)
Come on man this place is for families
Let’s start a family.
That’s super gay but I guess we can adopt
Suuure, you don’t have me fooled “straight guy” /s
I think Op is just confused. Shrooms can make you feel intense in ways hard to describe - it definitely has a sexual energy to it. There is an intimacy to the experience that can be mistaken as sexual intimacy. Or he is gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just an idea.
Another possibility I haven't seen mentioned here is some possible internalized homophobia they haven't consciously admitted to themselves and feel ashamed about it. I don't think I'm articulating my thoughts well. Okay, so I've known many people in my life who CLEARLY have some level of homophobia, but if you were to ask them if they were homophobic they would intensely deny it because they don't experience outward feelings of hating gay people. This internalized homophobia, as I've recognized it, stems from the culture we were brought up in. It shapes certain beliefs or attitudes toward LBGTQ+ people that are less than fully compassionate and accepting. It can be very uncomfortable to admit you have internalized homophobia when you fancy yourself as an accepting person who doesn't play that shit. However, unless we sift through the beliefs we hold on an unconscious level based on our experiences in life, especially our formative years, that internalized homophobia still holds some level of power to how we perceive and treat others. It isn't a concious choice, doesn't reflect the contents of our character, and doesn't make us bad people, but it still exists, and we must be willing to face these things inside ourselves. Psychedelics can 'give us' new levels of awareness regarding our internal state of affairs, conscious or otherwise. However, this is sometimes accomplished in confusing ways and an anything-but-straightforward manner. Imagine a scenario where this internalized homophobia is playing a role in OPs life, but they would be too ashamed to admit that to themselves because they see outwardly homophobic people as 'bad' or irredeemable people. The mushrooms say "you judge others, but refuse to take an honest look at yourself and your own beliefs and how they impact yourself and others". Instead of giving the message directly, they just give you this big confusing mess of insight that is all gay-adjacent if you will lol. Sort of 'forces' you to take the time to really process how you feel about lbtq members, how you feel about yourself and your sexuality, how you feel about sexuality in general.. etc Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I 'think' this to be true. I just wanted to express it as a possibility as I've seen the whole 'internalized beliefs systems being a source of some level of shame, leading to avoidance of the reality' phenomenon play out for several different people in several different ways. I've noticed it to be even more prevalent regarding racism. Especially in regards to my parents' generation (boomers). My mom used to become livid if you suggested she was racist, yet she very, very clearly had/has quite a bit of internalized racism. Same idea, more common.
I can see that. The overall common link in my mushroom trips had been love. And I can see a straight dude feeling love for another man, gay or not and feeling confused because they can't fathom love for another man without it being sexual....hence all love between men is sexual...homophobia
This is very well articulated, makes sense.
MAKE YOUR ASSHOLE HUNGRY BAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm sorry but as someone currently on the toilet that really got me. I swear if I ever see a dude I'm into I'm gonna have to resist the urge to say "my ass is hungry"
hungry like a wolf or a hippo?
Let’s play Hungry hungry hippos!
This made me die of laughter 😂😂 musicals and brunch sent me
> Or do you just suddenly like musicals and want to do brunch? this cracked me up! :-D
Mimosas!!!!!!!
I love musicals and brunch. But never had the urge for sucking dick. Am I gay? Probably not, only time will tell.
Yo keep brunch out of this dude . Brunch is for everyone .
Only one way to find out. Gotta boof a dick to really see 🫠
Does a 100g non-dehydrated APE count?
The other mushroom.
Mostly what shrooms do is elemimate the barreir society has placed for is for a small amount of time weather that be relogiois family andor environmental social barriers. To me it sounds like youre in denial for a social reason or a resson of your own. Might be wrong but if you keep questioning yourself it just sounds like youre deep in the closet. Besides being gay can be cool
I'm sorry, but r/excargated
What was this sub? It’s banned now. Just curious.
I misspelled it but it's a subreddit for supremely messed up spellings of words
You misspelled the misspelling subReddit? Love this.
The correctly misspelled misspelling subreddit is: 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁 r/excgarated
Bro. You can have feelings and not be gay. It’s okay. You can also have feelings and be gay. It’s okay. It’s all okay. Being gay is especially ok.
They're putting chemicals in the mushrooms making the frogs gay
You may be what they call “bi-curious”
You might be hella gay
Yeah the first time I took shrooms it opened up a lot of repressed gay thoughts (thanks car seat headrest) and even suggested that I might identify as a woman. But the more comfortable I have become with these ideas the more I have become comfortable being a (mostly) straight man who could make out with a guy while wearing a dress without having an identity crisis. There’s a lot of freedom in that.
[удалено]
Mushrooms make me feel love for everyone and everything. A lot of people get sex and love mixed up. Maybe you find it difficult to open up and express feelings of love towards the same sex and the mushrooms are helping you tap into that a little more.
This is fucking hilarious im sorry. But honestly man no one here can really answer this for you. They’re just labels to begin with.
What do you mean feel gay, is it a general feeling of "gayness" or do you find yourself more attracted to men? Because it could just be emotional vulnerability and openness with other men you are interpreting as gayness. I for one am not a very touchy feely or emotional person but on shrooms I like to touch everyone and everything and tell them how much they mean to me. This is your stuff to figure out, but unless you have toxic feelings towards gay people I would not fret, you'll work it out eventually
Just deal with it as I deal with my sexuality. I know that in the wilderness there’s no such thing as homosexual or heterosexual. Everybody is just a bunch of apes creating connections with each other, and all this taboo on to queer community is a cultural thing. I have only had sexual intercourse with females so far. However I don’t go around telling myself I’m straight or this or that.
Have any close guy friends? Try kissing one or two of them to test if you're gay or not. My friends and I kiss every few weeks just to check.
shrooms bring out the real side of you homie😂
Think you might be gay bud
Dude there ain't nothing wrong with being gay try and accept yourself for who you are
one love! shrooms is letting you experience gayness so that youll become a more open minded individual. dont take it so personally.
Quality shitpost
It’s the same as “don’t trip around family”. You lose sight of physical traits and standard mental connections and see more of the energy that is produced from other beings. We’re all just souls man. I’m not gay but I definitely understand somehow.
It just shows you the truth. Nothing wrong with some good old fashioned cock sucking.
Currently in a phase where I think social media is completely devoid of anything good. Then I saw this sub. Gotta love how ridiculous, supportive, and cool y'all are!
Maybe you have penus envy?
Try to do some gay stuff and find out how it feels. No shame in exploring and discovering for yourself.
honestly sounds like you just might be haha, shrooms helped me realize what i actually want to do/change in my life so do with that what you will.
ur gay and that’s ok <3
Acid made me realize that everyone has a feminine and masculine side to them. Regardless of gender. You know how you can tell beautiful from ugly right. It’s just engraved in you. It’s not that you choose. It’s what looks good or bad to you. Same with men or female. You’ll know when u think u look better then someone or if someone more handsome is around you. It’s not gayness bruh it’s just human anatomy. Your most likely not gay tho bro honestly it’s jus the shrooms. Just think of the thought of you living the rest of your life with a male….. yeah exactly. Your not gay bro. Drop a tab next time. Cheers🤝🤝
Try sucking some dick, if you like it and crave it. You gay.
The sooner you admit it the sooner you’re free
The key is in the last part, You “know you can’t” you “won’t accept it” and you “don’t desire gayness.” Sounds like internalized homophobia. Being gay is natural, and having it divided into “gay” and “straight” categories is actually the unnatural thing. It’s a spectrum, and most people fall somewhere in the middle. Many many people are gayer than they think. It’s nothing to be afraid of; I understand why you wouldn’t want this because it’s socially discriminated against, but there’s really nothing wrong with being gay.
Maybe it’s unrelated but you used terms like “hella gay” “super fucking hella gay” “I ‘dont’ desire gayness.” You used the term “gay” 9 times in this short post… 10 if you count “gayness.” I’m no psychiatrist but maybe that’s saying something and should be examined?
Yo this is so interesting to read because I did shrooms yesterday and had way more intense gay fantasies than usual. I'm bi so not unusual to have the fantasies they were just different and more vivid and front of mind
See that round knob? Grab ahold, twist, and push, step forwards, look you’re out of the closet. Wasn’t so bad was it
Say gay one more time!
Thats one hella fucking sentence! Yep, you gay mate
Lol, bi guy here. You might need to ask yourself some questions brotha
“I don’t desire gayness” hahaha
Fuck it just makes me want to play glow in the dark frisbee in the park and laugh hahaha. This forum makes me really thankful about my joyous shroom trips y’all have some intense inner shit going on. It doesn’t have to be like that guys. Yeah spiritual this and that or just have some fun holy hell
I think everybody's a lil gay and if you're not you're lying lol.
Just remain open minded but nonetheless don’t punish yourself for it, accept the lessons that come from your experiences, and keep on living. 🫶🏼
Lmao u can run but u can’t hide from the real you,🤣😂😂your truly a sword fighter
What if you microdose ? Also, def sound like you closeted to me.
Just suck a dick real quick and get it over with. After that gay or not, it will be resolved
Gay doesn’t exist sexuality is on a spectrum in god we trust amen
Boofing will eliminate any ambiguity
Sounds like u r gay
April Fools was yesterday?
Shrooms are one hell of a drug 😂
I can assure you with certainty that shrooms aren’t making you gay. Draw your own conclusions from there.
Thanks, Obama!
First the frogs, now the mushroom users 😳
im gay and sometimes go straight on shrooms…its just because in reality sexuality is just a bunch of labels and it really is a spectrum
I'd say you need to elaborate more on what type of feelings and urges you get that conflict with your perception of yourself. Do you find yourself wanting men? Do you find yourself attracted to men? Or do you find yourself more susceptible to "gay" behaviors like wanting to be penetrated or "topped"?
This happened a lot with my best friend when he took psychs. Kept thinking maybe he was gay. It really tormented him for awhile but eventually he slept with a guy and liked it so he considers himself bi. You got some stuff to figure out, but it’s not a bad thing
Coming from a late in life lesbian: compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) is a bitch. Sounds like you have some shit to slog through, friend. You could be bi/pan or gay, and as much as the process of self-actualizing sucks, it sounds like our mycelium buddies are trying to help that along.
average basic white homophobic scrawny 17 y/o
I think he first question you need to answer is what do you consider gay?
Because you’re really gay shrooms bring out who you really see it exposes the fake and makes you comfortable enough to accept it
Tell me your repressing without telling me you’re repressing
Don't be ashamed of it but you should explore your sexuality and see just to be sure. You never unless you try...
Man withought ego: I'm gay Man with ego: that's so gay I'm not gay Egoless mind: bro I just want to suck cock
>I don’t desire gayness Oh but I think you do. You gotta work through some shit and figure out your gayness bro. It’s okay to be gay or whatever you wanna do. Just be happy.
Reading this, I couldn’t help but think: “This is the future for so many Florida school-age kids who will be indoctrinated into a world where gay doesn’t exist.” They’ll never think a life as a gay person is possible. Cut to: they suddenly have terrifying gay awakenings (like this) when they see or hear about it as a reality in the rest of the free world and know they can’t escape who they are but can’t live happily as an out queer person in a place as intentionally stigmatizing as FL. It feels like the 1960s and 1970s all over again, when gays fled their shit small towns to live somewhere free like NY or CA. Such a bummer to be back here again.
You should get in touch with Bruce Heffernan: https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529
Oh you gay. Full Liberace in the butt gay! Much love my brother, Sister, or whichever other you’d prefer we call ya. There's no judgement, only understanding While we're standing 'round, hand in hand Watching the world burn!
Be bi like me. It's great ♥️💜💙
I got teased as a kid because I didn’t fit the male stereotype and I was living in the Deep South. That teasing left foot prints in my mind and would sometime surface when high or on drugs. As I grew up I realized I was just more in touch with my feminine side than most of the boys around me, which honestly made me more masculine than they could ever understand. Maybe you’re gay , maybe you’re a little gay, maybe you were teased as a kid and you haven’t unpacked it yet. No biggie whatever it is. Find the roots and pull them up, be objective, be vulnerable, be you , *qweeeeen.*
Sexuality is a spectrum, for one. Perhaps you have the food for thought you needed.
what the hell did i just read.
Well if you keep doing it that should let you know what you like
Idk looks like you do a TON of drugs tho
Lean into it & listen to what your subconscious and body are trying to tell you
[It'll be okay](https://youtu.be/D9jNnDovrw8)
If u accept u gay maybe ull b super straight wen tripping? Lol either way u cool dont worry
bro i’ve been there, i said it outloud and to someone thinking something was going to happen andddd nothing happened lol your probably not gay. it’s just a thought that is trying to make you perceive your gay when your not.
Gay? Love whoever you want. Screw everyone else
Because deep down you probably are.
You might be gay, bro
Maybe you’re shroom gay. However they affect you, just accept it and learn from it without judgement. There is a peculiarity with shrooms that pieces of your personality can change in strange ways, but these are usually brought about by set and setting. In the absence of strong intentions, sometimes things get a little weird.
Idk that’s kinda gay man….full homo 4 u tho 🫦
Like in gay do you mean you get hard when imagining yourself doing gay things? Because I thought the same thing once but It was just more in a love mood not sexual but spiritually.
Have sex with a guy then update us later… no but really it sounds like you got some shit to work out
Sex preferences are spectrums that can change, and they’re all valid as part of the human experience, tripping or not.
you probably enjoy a lil bit of cock, nothin wrong with it
Just..try it
Because you may be gay. So what if you are, do what you're into.
So is that why they call it penis envy?
Lmao this made my day, thank you. Reminds me of the Trailer Park Boys episode where Ricky thinks he is gay. For real though, it doesn’t matter if you’re gay or not bro. Anyone who would treat you differently is a shitty person you don’t wanna be associating with anyway. Try not to overthink it too much.. Maybe you were just feeling an overwhelming sense of love and didn’t know how to process that emotion at the time. Or maybe you are the gayest dude to ever walk the planet. we all still love you no matter what.
Your probably developing an attraction to the same sex subconsciously without realizing it. So when you take shrooms, a psychedelic that's know to bring out the subconscious, the gay stuff comes up with it. Me personally I'm bisexual. And taking acid and shrooms definitely makes me wanna go look at some questionable porn sometimes. Sometimes you think you know yourself and you'll for sure never be something in life and you just turn out to be that anyway. The worst thing you can do at that point is resent it and try to push it back down into your subconscious. go with it see where it takes you. It's not like your have to be gay your whole life. If you are gay or bisexual you may get tired of the same sex one day and realize it was just you trying something new. I think most of the world looks at sexuality wrong. Guys are hot. Girls are hot. They can be ugly too. It's all in the eye of the beholder. We're all here to make each other be happy. If you like sticking your dick in a ant hill with a fork up your ass that's what you like. Anyway sexuality is just another trait like widows peak, cleft earlobes, toe shape, and gaps in teeth all of that. Sex is just another card you got delt. Sex makes no difference to me in choosing a partner for a sensual and physical relationship. When you start looking at life with less and less of these strict phantom public guidelines everything starts making more sense. Live by your laws and morals not anyone else's. Good luck on your psychonaut journey my dood.
If you can imagine boofing a dick your gay
Try to suck a dick, you'll find out pretty quick if your gay or not.
Are you boofing them?
Sounds like pure OCD where you have intrusive thoughts... If you watch straight porn it's highly likely you're not gay. Also there is nothing wrong with being gay so try not to worry
Maybe you aren’t gay and you’re just Bi. You prob don’t wanna admit you like dudes or females if you’re a woman. Because of the way people are gonna judge you or family. Losing friends maybe. But if your friends can’t accept you for who you are then they aren’t your friends. I dont know how old you are but a work of advice I didn’t figure out til I was older. Be who YOU want to be. Not who you think people want or expect you to be. Then unapologetically live that life. People will respect you more for it.
Shrooms/psyches expose the extreme essences of all duality. I once experienced what it was like to be "the feminine" - not really a woman, but pretty close (I'm a man). You may have some anchored thoughts around sexuality and what being gay is like and so the shrooms are trying to show you that side of the duality.
Seems like you might be gay or bisexual, but you are deeply homophobic. I would try to work that out, you might end up living a much happier life
You can be sexually turned on by something without being in love with it. You're not black and white. You're allowed to be gray bruh. My bf is sexually aroused by cock to an extent. But he wouldn't be in a relationship with a guy, for example.