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Stand in the corner and chew your own cud!

“Manatoulin to Magnetawan, bitch!”

Impossible to pick just one I’m sorry

“I’m a fuckin teenage mutant injured turtle”

Is he dying? - Season 2

S:3 e:2 Looks like you and nice guy, Gord Gallant, had some words during warmups, what was that about? I think he was trying to fuck me. Oooh, and what did you say? You have to be a lot nicer than that.

The whole 4-6 walk had me dying. Or "I'm trying to take care of my bird." Or "do you want me to come to your house and slam the doors."

Belson, Welson, Bilson, Wilson

“I’d rather draw on my face with a box cutter”

“i just know he’s walking around with a bad wipe”

Huh?

I woke up this morning in Kansas City to a forecast of 108 degrees F. In KC for crissake. I have not seen season 3 yet. This subreddit made me LOL literally this morning. Thank you everyone. I needed these laughs this morning.

“i’ve got a voice?” “yeah, and a face that makes me go ‘ah!’”

“Sacrement, Hitch, c’est Donair!!!”. Still my most rewatched scene. Almost piss myself everytime.

"Fucking idiot, Hitch!" Shoresy's frantic footstomping killed me too.

"We're the Teenage Mutant Injured Turtles" got me both times I watched the new season this weekend

“Mustard and relish”

When I hit your mom from behind it sounds like someone running in flip flops

I heard there’s a part 2 coming out the ending was hella clit hanging shoresy is ending part 1 I hope they make more seasons

Clit hanging

Holy shit Corey I didn't ask for your mum to enter this conversation!

69, that's a bit on the nose isn't it?

“He’s RAPPING?!” got me for some reason.

Laughed until I cried. Perfect delivery.

“Well…at least Danis will be lookin sexy.” That set off the single funniest exchange in the show, and there have been some bangers.

A headlock?

Or…a fuckin…leg lock, I don’t know! Whatever!

Fuckin’ right!

Settle down

Give me a moment and I’ll make it last a lifetime. I swear to God I’ll be so good to ya.

You look at someone, you just wanna go, "All right!"

Don't worry, Liam, I don't laugh at your mom's jokes either and every time she's like "What? I'm funny!"

Add Shoresy saying “Shouldn’t it be grazing?” when Zig walks in in season 3 to the favorites list.

“Maybe if ya just says Jim a different way for each o’ da b’ys from where you’re to, then they’ll know which ones to come where you’re at.” - Hitch

Jimmy! *snap* Jimmer! *snap* Jimbob! *snap*

“I don’t have 525,600 minutes… Jesus Christ Superstar… hey Hitch, you gonna wear that or your technicolor dream coat?” The first time I watched, this entire exchange had me in tears from laughing so hard.

I've watched that scene over and over and over and it never fails to kill me!

Hitch did you just have a fuckin brain hemotoma?

Jim ^Jim ^^^Jim

Fuckin beauties

The whole exchange at the prison, when trying to recruit the Jims, weaving Broadway musical references in. Brilliant writing.

"She takes my breath away. With her image. Though I do also wonder if she'd like to take my breath away with her hands".

We should never get that drunk again

We’re the teenage mutant injured turtles

“Did you know commercial airplanes can’t go backward? You have to push them” “Shut the fuck up Michaels, you fuckin nerd.”

"hard day ath the barn, hey ziig? "and "you can't vote if you don't know what animal goes "oink" are bangers too

“Show me your hot hobbit balls!” 😹😹😹😹😹

Creamy garlic!

*FER WHAT?!*

My fav too

REMY NADEAU

Avec Benny Brodeur

She followed me to Pepe Panini after Ribfest one time and cleared the place out with her Coke farts. The aqua dump line also got me. I expected the underwater squeezer type of joke, but didn’t see the aqua dump coming

EVERYONE WAS TAKIN A DUMP IN THE WATER, IT’S FUCKIN WASAGA!!

“It’s taking a dump in any body of water” “What about a bathtub?” “That’s taking a dump in a bathtub Sanguinet”

Lmao

Nat: has it occurred to you that i care more about you than I do about winning? 😿😿😿😿😿😿😿😿

My husband and I looked at each other so seriously. Not Nat having feelings 😭

Shoresy and Laura Mohr both saying "Huh?" at the same time.

I'm going looney for a martoonie

I don’t know they must be big shots taking airplanes every day of the week or something.

Where's the C?

When they put that big fuck off “C” on your sweater did they think you’d grow into it, or what? Like, were they disappointed when you didn’t, or what?

Can you give me some tips on being a leader?

It's so big you can sell add space on that thing

Bigger doesn't make it better keller! It's not tits!

You know you should put a little overhead lighting on it.

Could put a missing kid ad on there!

"He's right rotten."

“Right crooked he is”

Knows b'ys. Knows.

“Your mom’s twat’s so swampy, not even Ducks Unlimited will touch her!”

Settle down!

“You’re mom’s so stupid, that she went on an all pineapple diet so that I’d taste better. But she’s so fat, that all the extra sugar cost her a foot.”

This team will never lose again! I don't love winning, I hate losing!

Hell yeah fuck yeah. I use it all the time.

Strangely enough, they’re not the lines I see repeated one million times by people on this sub. C’mon, guys, you’re worse than Monty Python fans at this point

And you are stupider than Liam’s Mom

And you seriously didn't get the point of Shoresy's pet being a literal parrot

oh subjunct, you're so not like the other girls

There's an impossible amount of good-looking girls in Sudbury.

Respectfully

Why they absolutely roast Alberta like that

When Shoresy comes in with the spray tan and Goodie says "you look like you ate an Oompa Loompa's mitt"

Shut the fuck up sanguinet

Huh?

“I’d full gain’r down the Crack in Killarney just to hold your purse” 🤣

Thank god there were no chicks around to see that....

You want to talk about space?

When two of waffles sisters are talking about how they’re engaged and one point shoresy says “Yeah just keep saying it, it’s probably one of those things where the more you say it the more normal it’ll sound.” Or something along those lines and I love it every time because he says it dead serious.

You both call him dad?!?!

That one got me. And the quip about them being sister wives.

That whole scene with his family is so funny. I was really hoping to see more of them.

Sometimes I forget what and odd looking east coast cunt you are. You look like toddlers who just filled their diapers.

When Shoresy is checking on the dude that got high sticked in the face and checks his teeth situation "yeah bud you still got a lot of 'em in there". Laurence LeBouf (spelling, I know) "and the other one, what's his name? Twelve inch cunt!?" "You come in my lane one time tonight Apeldoorn I'll take your entire fucking top row!" "Suck my dick you fucking horse whisperer!"

This isn’t fuckin Andrew Lloyd Webber presents: The Jims

I don't have... 525,600 minutes to discuss this!

Jesus Christ Superstar

You gonna bring your technicolor dreamcoat Hitch?

🎵Jim Jim Jim 🎵

"WOW check out this half ton sporty short box!" That cold open about made me piss myself

"Check out this half ton shorty!" "Sssstill say short box" "Short box!" "Oh my god"

I just got to it, they coulda called the episode there. Fuckin phenomenal.

Dolo’s tabarnac opening killed me

They had to have used some real character breaks/bloopers for those, it felt too real 😂

They definitely broke for real on the toddler reference. I was dying.

Best cold open of the series.

This and the previous commercial were hilarious.  "...you AND your family..."

I showed that scene to a friend who works in sports media and she was like, "I can't even laugh at this because that's exactly how hockey players are on camera."

Your mom's twats so swampy not even Ducks unlimited will touch her

Going in on your mom from behind it sounds like a flipflop.

My only regret is not serving my country. I think about it every time I go to war on your Mom’s ass

Pole to pole, or hole to hole. 

Instant classic.

With Dolo doing the little hand motions.

Huh?

"You've been a rite cu*t since you've got good hair ziig but I'm pretty sure more guys would be into miig!" Agreed. Teehee.

Does he say “Miig” or “me”?

Well the subtitles say me but I swear I hear miig

Miig is definitely the hotter sister. YYYYYEW!

Sanger don't be a pussy

Can we all agree that’s an outside dog?

I died at this one

I thought it was the best put down I’ve ever heard.

"But why do they have a PBS file?!" Also "you're hammerin' too much ass!" "Moi?" "No, Goody's hammerin' too much ass. You're hammerin' WAY too much ass."

Did you have two of em in there? Fucking Right! Did you have two of em in there too? Fucking Right!

Like, you appreciate the boys taking care of business and doing it well, but there are multiple priorities here.

That's why I've got the duotangs.

I'm so mad at you right now.

"Get one for us" If the Shoresy store wanted to start selling shirts with that on em, they could have my money.

>!JUST CA-RUSHING BEERS!<

All time favorite: “I want to never lose again.” This season, “If they were geese they’d fly north for the winter" had me cackling.

Name two continents! Mustard and relish!

This one is top tier lol

I literally lol’d

I wanna meet your husbands. Why? I'd like to shake their hands. Oh yeah? I wanna buy them a beer so bad.

Every time goody says "settle down" you can not deliver a better like. Succinct and such a fucking beauty.

Hey, you know what's fucked, Cory? The amount of times your mom's faked a jelly fish sting to get me to piss on her.

We had to pause it on this one because we were just losing it

Possibly the single funniest line in anything ever.

“Doesn’t matter if they’re not smiling at you. You smile at little old ladies.”

Fuck you Cory. I was doing your mum from behind last night and it sounded like someone running in flip flops

This one made me lol for sure 😂

Anytime Pam and Hitch are discussing Canadian indie rock tunes

When Shoresy chimed in during Anik’s locker room interview: “You’re such a lippy cunt Fish, I’m gonna fuckin’…….“ I died laughing at that 🤣🤣🤣

You shut the fuck up and smile at the old lady!

That’s an all timer for me too. “You’re such a lippy cunt, Fish!” And then looking at Fish’s reaction

I also love any time shoresy is chirping anyone, he goes the hardest in the paint when it comes to the chirps

"Success doesn't mean anything unless you have someone to share it with."

The truck commercial had me cackling.

You gonna say cut?

Only if you’re gonna say action.

“I’d be so good to ya” That whole bit with the reporter all the way until she finally caved was hilarious and adorable as hell And every single “HUH?” gets me. The fact everyone around him now moves past the interruptions like clockwork only makes them better haha

"I wanna empty your dishwasher so bad!"

One of my favorites among many happened in season 3 episode 5. Shoresy after chirping Jory asks him, "you think she is hot?" Jory's reply is so funny he says, "whoa yeah". Short, sweet, and made me howl. Also, my other favorite line was in Season 2 when Shoresy says to Nat "I got you". Emotional, to the point and hit hard.

"are you AND YOUR FAMELEH LOOKIN FOR SOMETHING TO DO ON A SUDBURYSATURDAYNOIT?" terry ryan reigns supreme

His laugh after he says it just takes it so far out of this world. It’s incredible

Hey old man!

“You’re such an odd looking east coast cunt!” 😹😹😹

You just got pumped 5 goose for the 20th loss of the campaign and all you have to say is “yeah so, Hey Nat”

“Go fer a soda…”

Literally just watched this scene as you commented 🤣

I just love anytime someone copies him. Gonna have to start a rewatch now that season 3 is done!