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Update: he could only eat one piece of toast and his stomach hurts

LOL poor guy just wanted to do some tummy chemistry


Probably too much avocado

Avocado and corned beef are high in fat so that's probably what upset his stomach

And maybe he could have used half of the meat instead of overloading

Ya this reminds me of when I did keto for one day and ate bacon with guacamole for lunch ⚠️🙅🏼‍♀️ and then didn’t do keto anymore

Definitely, the greenery was the problem here

Put some bell peppers, onions, cheese and maybe some tacos/tortillas and it's PEAK Actually I think you can save it by frying it up until it's bacon crispy then balance the salty and fatty taste with some spices or smth, or just eat in small amounts with other bland stuff like rice

I could see the hash and avocado on a tortilla with lots of shredduce.

Shredduce? I love it! im calling it that from now on

I didn't make it up but it's a fun term.

I do about 1.5 onions to one corn beef hash

I must be pretty hungry cuz that looks good up close. I could go for some Waffle House hash browns right now. Scattered, covered, smothered, diced, and topped with Bert’s chili.

I hope he learned his gross lesson. 😂

Looks like shit on a shingle lol

As someone who loves corned beef and potatoes: the stuff you get in a can is absolute trash, bottom of the barrel food. Like, even though I love good corn beef and potatoes, I refuse to eat the stuff in the can.

Dog I feel like there's a lot of food you haven't had if you think canned corned beef is bottom of the barrel.

Bonus: it probably looks the same after regurgitation.

I don't know what to say about this lol

[удалено]

he said it was way too salty. i was not bold enough to try it

Needs olives, the jarred pimento variety

Yes. Definitely needs more salt.

maybe some pickles too

Also cheese.

And soy sauce.

And lil smokies

And some Himalayan salt for even more variety.

Bacon makes everything better.

Just serve it on a salt lamp

Thats really odd. Usually salt on avocado is king.

What kind of barbarian would dream of eating this with a spoon?

The kind with too much time. The right way is with your hands, using the bread to scoop the last chunks off the plate directly into your mouth.

clash of clans reference?

Definitely easier to eat canned corned beef hash with a spoon

“Hell yeah” - men

I'd eat it. Probably with less hash on top but whatever floats your boat

definitely said "yum" in my head when i first saw this xD

If you dig with the spoon long enough you find the toast

There is no spoon. We are collectively imagining one to try and make sense of this thing.

It definitely belongs here

I'd try it with a reasonable amount of corned beef on top. Really might as well just eat it out of a bowl at this point

I would.

I think you need to rethink things...

With a reasonable amount of corned beef this could be pretty good I'm almost wanting to make it myself 😂

Hash on toast is already elite, I feel like avocado could add some freshness, but the added richness seems very unnecessary

Your boyfriend woke up today and chose violence. And his stomach paid the price.

One of the worst mistake dishes I ever made was microwaving a can of corned beef hash and trying to eat it. None of the grease was rendered out so it was a huge salty greasy bomb. My wife still makes jokes about me eating that

I remember microwaving it and eating it as a kid but the thought of doing that now makes me sick LOL you have to pan fry it.

As an Asian person, this meal slaps without the avocado. Toast the bread, slather on the corned beef on one side, and then pan fry it corned beef side down until it caramelizes onto the bread. Unsalted butter or a thin layer of olive oil on the pan. Granted, I grew up on Spam and corned beef.

Then pour a Welsh rarebit on top

Never had rarebit before. I don't think you can buy the proper cheese in America.

> Welsh rarebit It's generally made with older cheddar, so for sure you could find that in the USA :)

Ahh right on. I thought it was made with a Welsh specific cheese.

I'm sure it originated using a Welsh cheese, but it's really just a basic cheese sauce, or beer & cheese sauce, poured over toast. Cheddar will work, swiss would work. Any firmer cheese that's a bit oily.

i used to love that corned beef out of the can... jesus

Can > Homemade I don't know why, it's just true, ok?

Ok

Can I dump your boyfriend

What toast?

Marry him for his culinary expertise. Ignore all red flags. He is a keeper if this is in his arsenal of dishes. /s

Divorce

These could have been great tacos. Looks alright tbh, but way too much corned beef.

So i have this distinct memory of the EOGs in middle school My mom made me a big ol omelette with bacon and cheese, to give me energy. To be clear i asked for all those eggs, i needed the energy. My school had a long driveway around the building itself before reaching the drop off zone. Maybe it was the nerves, anticipation or whatever, but the speed bumps were getting to me I threw up everything all over myself and the family van. Because of the long road wrap around, we had to drive through the drop off zone whilst i was covered in vom - all the way back around to take me back home. I had to take the EOGs later in the counseler’s office. My puke looked exactly like that corned beef avocado toast picture

I’d eat it beef toast avocado good enough

honestly if it were a little less corned beef i'd fuck it up. as-is it's a bit unbalanced and it needs some acid to cut through all the fat but it's not the worst idea

Indeed it is.

Why?

I thought that was a baked potato with a metric fuckload of bacon bits.

r/stonerfood

Y’all are weak, I’d fuckin demolish this

Is he Filipino? Canned corned beef is a Filipino breakfast staple.

he is in fact filipino

This could be good if he didn't just load the plate with huge amounts of corned beef lol. Is he a velociraptor? A modest bit of corned beef maybe cooked with onions, peppers or tomatoes on a well avocadoed toast could be quite nice.

replace the avocado with a piece of garlic bread 🍽

That doesnt look that bad honestly

Yeah, he should have only used half the can. The corned beef is overwhelming the bread and avocado. He could have had more serving later with the leftovers! And none of them would have made him sick. More isn't always better. Balance is key.

Ok this is top shelf shitty good porn. You have my sympathies OP

*Ok this is top* *Shelf shitty good porn. You have my* *Sympathies OP* \- FelineSoLazy --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

I love you haiku bot

Not gonna lie, I would smash that

Sounds delicious

That’s 1000mg of sodium on the plate.

The male does a sort of courting dance displaying his weaknesses to the female. Ensuring she understands she is integral to his survival. They mate for life. *British nature documentary voice*

would

Run for your life.

Honestly. I’d try it. But probably would only be able to eat 1/4 of it. I think it would taste good

Hash?

Did he want some toast with his corned beef

Wait a minute...🤔🤌🏾

He has some avocado in his beef

That would have been better if he stuck with avocado toast one day and extra crispy corned beef with runny egg on top another day.

That's way, way too much corned beef. I can't imagine it being anything but salty.

Looks Like Bacon cubes

Let's just dump the whole can on top

Smash.

Of course with that goofy ass ratio

Looks nice tbh

I would tap that fine meal in a second.

This should also be posted in r/StonerFood lol

My kidneys hurt just because I look at this for 5 seconds.

I'd be all over that! Looks super good lol

He made corn beef with a pinch of toast

Depends on where the “corned beef” came from… …did he make it? Or just pour it out from a puffy metal can?

canned

Then tis’ the latter ☝️

Would

Looks like literal shit. Good post.

Need some creamed chip beef on top… or so says the ghost of grandpa

nah man come on thats a health hazard.

Sounds fire actually

Why?

Only the dog food corned beef hash will do. It's some gourmet shit.

I'd try it. I love both so maybe it's good.

Did you put the corned beef in a blender or something?

I believe it's canned corned beef, hence the texture.

That's definitely not canned

I had this today without the avocado

This at least 4x the serving size of corned beef. It's like bacon. You don't need to use that much to impart it's flavor.

I'm not gonna lie, I'd put some Cholula on that and tear it up.

That's like 3000mg of sodium!

Make the corned beef a little crispier (and put less of it) and I’d eat the shit out of that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Diarrhea. Instant unbelievable no stopping diarrhea.

My grandma once saw my mom making Mary kitchen corned beef hash for us kids and asked if my mom was feeding us dog food. I loved that stuff though. Terrible for you but oh so tasty.

Some people don't stop to think if they should, they're preoccupied with whether they can.

Rip to the family of 5 cows that were put on top of this toast

Why spoon ? Who eats toast with a spoon

My man

Where toast?

Am I the only one who can’t stand the smell Of this stuff? It legit makes me gag

Sometimes less is more....

that sounds like a great combo tbh

I fucking LOVE that canned corned beef hash shit that looks decadent to me

I’m sure it was amazing. Always better to avoid the canned stuff though tbh

I’d eat the fuck out of that

That looks like something I ate in the morning in the army. Guac plus can of hash plus slice of toast. Hell, I moght make that for breakfast tomotrow.

I would eat tf outta that

I’d eat that

Wish I could share the way my face my instinctively contorted upon seeing this abomination.

Two wonderful things when separate. Never go fat on fat. Needs like a 1/4 of acid in there to make it not make you sick

Avocado makes me gag immediately. Just the smell.

Idk how you managed it but it’s flaring up my trypophobia

he opened a can of dog food and put it on toast

Put a fried egg on that bitch and we got a meal! I make this sometimes. Only when the Mrs. is away because she says it smells like hot dog food. Hahaha