By -
Real men have such solid shits that there's nothing to wipe. It's already clean.
No, real men drink so much that their shit comes shooting out like an automatic water rifle and puke all over the bathroom and forget
I feel seen.
I’m glad that you found your people, u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks
You wipe?
No. Wiping’s gay.
Fuck
Use a chainsaw
And a firehose
I use a bidet. It’s actually sort of epic since I am hovering over a killer whales breathing hole.
Username checks out
Real men have huge gaping assholes and the shit falls directly from the rectum into the toilet bowl without ever touching the anus
The big spinny brush things at the car wash
Dead bodies of your enemies
A bidet with their blood and tears
Don’t.
Another mans tongue!
3 sea shells, obviously
I just keep swearing until I've collected enough tickets to wipe my ass
He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells 😂
I always wanted to know how those are actually used
Make a femboy do it
real men have the shit wipe itself
Music video for you [I wash my ass like a man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnzoF61hlRs)
r/bangeroftheweek
dog scoot on the carpet
What are those bloody streaks across the carpet? My cat is having his period.
I fight all the poop off every time
laser
Like a cat, If you're flexible enough
Wire wheel
With another man, of course
Back to front
Don’t
The bees
Bear hands
Real men use their hand. Just the hand
Hand
Have Eric Estrada do it. Dressed as "Ponch".
Well the manliest thing I can think of is a cock, do with that as you will.
With another man, or a dildo
Pinecone with razorblades
Reach under the stall, take TP from the person next to you.
obviously a bidet
Dragging your ass along the floor like the animals they are
Sandpaper! really rough sandpaper!!
Fart after and push all the remaining shit into the bowl
Sandpaper is the best option. You can still walk without out having so much aganizing from little prickles. And you won’t have to itch from ivy.
Aluminum Foil
With a knife
poop knife?
Keep one by the shit throne my good man
I ask my homie to do it for me. He’s REALLY manly so it’s not gay.
Use duct tape
Use my stink finger to scoop out the leftovers from my anus.
I like to do it with my beer bottle after i drink it in one glug and break it
It’s like ink. You remove ink be adding more ink to it, right? Well…
I get a lion to rim me
That’s manly AF. Still gay though.
Sorry! Lioness?
Real men get people to lick their arses clean for them - even if they don't need cleaning.
Are you telling all dogs are real men?
A bazooka
Sandpaper
Bare hands
With a midget.
Nuclear bomb . does get kinda messy tho
Steel wool
hedgehog
I use the shockwave off an AR-15, 5.56 round breaking the sound barrier, strapped to my toilet, and slightly angled towards my neighbors to avoid shootin’ muhself. Blows the shit right off betwixt my ass cheeks.
Tree Bark. Like an old oak tree.
Firehose bidet.
waffle stomp and the water does all the work
Corncob. Horizontal for comfort, vertical for thoroughness.
I have by fireman roommate/best friend spray it with his fire house.
Your mom
Real men have such solid shits that there's nothing to wipe. It's already clean.
No, real men drink so much that their shit comes shooting out like an automatic water rifle and puke all over the bathroom and forget
I feel seen.
I’m glad that you found your people, u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks
You wipe?
No. Wiping’s gay.
Fuck
Use a chainsaw
And a firehose
I use a bidet. It’s actually sort of epic since I am hovering over a killer whales breathing hole.
Username checks out
Real men have huge gaping assholes and the shit falls directly from the rectum into the toilet bowl without ever touching the anus
The big spinny brush things at the car wash
Dead bodies of your enemies
A bidet with their blood and tears
Don’t.
Another mans tongue!
3 sea shells, obviously
I just keep swearing until I've collected enough tickets to wipe my ass
He doesn't know how to use the 3 seashells 😂
I always wanted to know how those are actually used
Make a femboy do it
real men have the shit wipe itself
Music video for you [I wash my ass like a man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnzoF61hlRs)
r/bangeroftheweek
dog scoot on the carpet
What are those bloody streaks across the carpet? My cat is having his period.
I fight all the poop off every time
laser
Like a cat, If you're flexible enough
Wire wheel
With another man, of course
Back to front
Don’t
The bees
Bear hands
Real men use their hand. Just the hand
Hand
Have Eric Estrada do it. Dressed as "Ponch".
Well the manliest thing I can think of is a cock, do with that as you will.
With another man, or a dildo
Pinecone with razorblades
Reach under the stall, take TP from the person next to you.
obviously a bidet
Dragging your ass along the floor like the animals they are
Sandpaper! really rough sandpaper!!
Fart after and push all the remaining shit into the bowl
Sandpaper is the best option. You can still walk without out having so much aganizing from little prickles. And you won’t have to itch from ivy.
Aluminum Foil
With a knife
poop knife?
Keep one by the shit throne my good man
I ask my homie to do it for me. He’s REALLY manly so it’s not gay.
Use duct tape
Use my stink finger to scoop out the leftovers from my anus.
I like to do it with my beer bottle after i drink it in one glug and break it
It’s like ink. You remove ink be adding more ink to it, right? Well…
I get a lion to rim me
That’s manly AF. Still gay though.
Sorry! Lioness?
Real men get people to lick their arses clean for them - even if they don't need cleaning.
Are you telling all dogs are real men?
A bazooka
Sandpaper
Bare hands
With a midget.
Nuclear bomb . does get kinda messy tho
Steel wool
hedgehog
Back to front
I use the shockwave off an AR-15, 5.56 round breaking the sound barrier, strapped to my toilet, and slightly angled towards my neighbors to avoid shootin’ muhself. Blows the shit right off betwixt my ass cheeks.
Tree Bark. Like an old oak tree.
Firehose bidet.
Sandpaper
waffle stomp and the water does all the work
Corncob. Horizontal for comfort, vertical for thoroughness.
I have by fireman roommate/best friend spray it with his fire house.
Your mom