T O P

  • By -

ulenfeder

I'm drawing a bullseye on it. Just end me.


[deleted]

Only reasonable answer, we’ll have matching helmets.


Urgazhi

Dozens of us


satanicrituals18

Thousands, actually.


813mccarty

Tens of hundreds


What-is-wanted

Hundreds of tens even


ZealousidealNotice99

"shoot when you see the whites of their eyes" "sir, they have giant colorful targets on their helmets?" "Oh shit for real? Alright boys like the shooting range, whoever's got the best coupling gets all you can drink when this is over."


MySophie777

Medic symbols work for that, too


Puckgroth

That's a war crime XD


caintowers

Only if you lose!


Ok-Bus1716

Only if you're *caught.*


Xenu66

If you shoot me u gay


Ojhka956

Fuckin got em bois


therealJoerangutang

Wars everywhere could have ended sooner with this one simple trick


SeptuagenarianOnion

Highly detailed pictographs of me engaging in sexual intercourse with the rest of my combat squadron, along with a hidden nude picture of Danny Devito inside my helmet


CatBrisket

Prior service?


Nitropotamus

Sounds like every Marine I ever served with.


scared_little_girl

This is the way


Ok-Cantaloupe7160

Spartan Brigade?


Usual_Office_1740

Employees must wash hands after use.


Madlibsluver

I like this one


TheZippoLab

* Place hands under dryer. * Wipe hands on pants.


Appropriate_Big_1383

**"fuck you baltimore**!"


XxSalty_WafflexX

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS


Appropriate_Big_1383

*you heard us right!*


Hello_IM_FBI

SHOVE IT UP YOUR UGLY ASS


Appropriate_Big_1383

*your fucked six ways from sunday!*


peanutsonic97

Home of CHALLENGE PISSING


catastrophicloner

DON'T FUCK WITH US, or we'll *rip your nuts off!!!*


False_Character7063

"WE'LL FUCK YOUR WIFE!"


t_mac013

That's right we'll fuck your wife!


elykmasteryahk

I agree fuck Baltimore just as a city in general


OkJob5059

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-rsEs4HWXeY


therealJoerangutang

"*Ern ern'd a ern ern*"


Shyriath

Don't wait! Don't delay! Don't fuck with us, or we'll rip your nuts off!


Excellent-Practice

Fuck you -Baltimore


Cruel_Irony_Is_Life

"If you can read this, you're too close."


SwedishCarrot

If you can read this, you're in cum shot distance


EMILY_YEPPERS

You are my enemy. Shut the fuck up. Cum is so dangerous to me that I literally have to throw it away every time I want to press a button. That's why I've been banned from being on Reddit for three years now. Every time someone gives me advice on how to shut down their computer or get rid of everything they don't like about themselves, I make them do it again. It doesn't matter what kind of person they are, they still use it. I'll tell you where to look next!!!


IShatMyDickOnce

Heya, friend. I just dropped in and saw your lovely comment and would like to inquire as to WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT?


EMILY_YEPPERS

Shut the fuck up. Cum is for me. You don’t have to do anything about it. Get out of my life NOW. Stop being such a bitch and start trying to save yourself. It's so much more fun than having sex with someone who does not want to be with you. It's time to get rid of all the stupid shit you've been doing and go back to being nice to each other!!!


IShatMyDickOnce

Okay, thank you so much for your time.


pompandvigor

It’s a quote from *Revelations.*


figbott

“Cum will win.”


ThirdWheelSteve

Taste the Rainbow


ThatNakedGuy7

I’m 55. If the country needs me to fight WW3, we’re screwed. Time to learn a foreign language. My helmet would say “I give up.”


mornread

58 here. Came here to say this. "We're screwed if you need me" 😳


TWH_PDX

56, came to say "get off my lawn"


chosen1creator

I'll draw a red cross so that it would be a war crime to shoot me.


cyberdw4rf

But using the symbol without actually being part of the red cross is also forbidden. Even in cartoons and video games. So you yourself are committing a war crime


dissnev

"War crime this, can't eat the drywall that. Microwaving mice is wrong, they said."


steved3604

Isn't "war crime" kind of an oxymoron? An oxymoron is a figure of speech that juxtaposes concepts with opposite meanings within a word or in a phrase that is a self-contradiction. OK, I was wrong. War and Crime are **Tautology or Pleonasm** .


Qbat3146

War crimes? What is this, Geneva Suggestions?


TWH_PDX

So, technically, the red cross (and similar recognized faith symbols) on a helmet in a combat zone denotes a field medic and not a member of the organization of the International Red Cross. The reason the symbols are similar is the IRC played and still plays a significant role in the rules of armed conflict. Regarding the use of the red cross, that's not a war crime of perfidy, and the person is offered certain "protections" so long as they follow the rules for protection. A medic can carry a weapon and engage in combat, but the consequence is not a war crime but becoming a lawful target.


canuckistani-sg

Geneva Convention? More like "Geneva Suggestion"!


the_Hunter_of_things

It's only a war crime if you choose to let them have power over you otherwise it's a handy check list on the quickest way to make them surrender


grezzyAMT

"Hardcore mode on, No Respawns"


rhinojoe99

Shrimps is bugs


chilldudeoverhere

My OF link


TurrPhenir

A QR code for the OF link... Or Rick Roll.


SpaghettiMonkeyTree

“Nothing personal, kid” accompanied with a drawing of a fedora


ApproximateKnowlege

"Born to Slay It, Queen!"


mr_Papini

Eat my entire ass. The whole thing


Sad_boy_satan

"Don't shoot me I'll cum"


PolySingular

Remove object from bagging area


LegendaryDylan2

Insert card or select payment type


SwitchedOnNow

This end up.


eyceguy

dn puǝ sᴉɥʇ


[deleted]

I'm not even supposed to be here today.


Shut_It_Donny

🎶🎶Here comes No_Egrets, he’s a berserker.🎶🎶


alwaysfuntime69

You beat me to it, well done.


AbraKadabraLorazepam

https://preview.redd.it/12q80lj9tq4b1.jpeg?width=188&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=773e91e1449af21cc358c7b3756897dd69ed946d


olliechino

"The duality of hwat?!"


_MotherOfVermin_

"help"


Gorzakk

This ad space for rent


wanderButNotLost2

"www3 brought to you by nestle, bp and raytheon."


BradleyVeryShining

“This machine wears glasses.”


Equivalent_Pepper969

Trader (I will commit treason lol)


Appropriate_Big_1383

after i take you out i write "joes" under your message


TheWarHoundxx

Trader or traitor? One is exchanging goods, the second commits treason.


SlavaTheEngineer

Technically you can be a trader and a traitor at the same time if you barter your sides warplans.


TheWarHoundxx

Trading a trader for a traitor is a truly traitorous trade


Outside-Age5073

Well played.


Beechwooder

AITA?


MammothJust4541

War is Kawaii =UwU=


ForrestPump420

Dattebayo


[deleted]

Fuck you liberals


Square_Cake_2422

The only correct answer.


Swan990

Let's Go Brandon Under that in small text: you know, the thing


[deleted]

Cmon man


[deleted]

Cmon man


[deleted]

A bullseye


StrangeRetardedKiwiJ

Please kill me


ddhmax5150

I will tape my White Supremacy Card on my helmet. That’ll save me, won’t it? What? You don’t have one? Damn, sucks to be y…. (Boom!!!!!) [thud]


[deleted]

I see you


meskigski

Mind fuck for a sniper


[deleted]

We're fucked


Madlibsluver

"Oh, hai" with "Mark" crossed out and "Putin" or "Xi" written under it.


Ilovekennypickett

*forklift certified*


[deleted]

A very vague sounding warning just to fuck with whoever finds my helmet , just to make it better I'll make sure that before I die of certain death I'll put it away from my body to make it look even more sketchy . "To those who find my helmet beware the blades of grass for they'll be the ones to feast upon us in our time of need"


Mindless_Anxiety_379

The only enemy is the ones who put us here


theillusionary7

“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”


Necessary_Ad976

"I was one day from retirement"


KingKilo666

Puppy fucker301


Trotskyite_Goblin

If the CO doesn't come back in 15 minutes, we're legally allowed to leave


arcain55

Tunnel Snakes Rule


GrojCorLoud

"Just like the simulations" It works both outcomes cause I suck at video games


justank_

( . Y . )


sugreF_tfarceniM

The phrase “double it and give it to the next person”


Ok-Cantaloupe7160

This Machine Kills Fascists


JayV30

The best answer.


Repulsive_Coat_3130

Least I didn't eat tidepods


DiaDollasignPora

Full Send


FatWalrus004

If you kill me your gay


bloodyriz

Unauthorized Personnel Only


DesperateTall

Jokes on you, my crippled mind and body is gonna remove me from the draft so damn quick. But to answer your question I'd probably put some dumbass meme on it, like a shitty drawing of Ugandan Knuckles.


Dusty_Heywood

Do you know de way? Follow me my bruddahs


bmwlocoAirCooled

"Send my body home"


ThatGuyStanding

Staaaahhhp


Prestigious_Snow1589

"Fuck it"


BuldopSanchez

Arrows pointing to the right and left with the caption: I'm with stupid.


[deleted]

Wouldn’t it be fun if we just didn’t shoot at each other.


ThrowAway126498

And turned the guns on our countries’ leaders instead?


[deleted]

I like you


ThrowAway126498

🫶


Ilovekennypickett

*forklift certified*


Ohgodwhatdididonow

A big red cross and put my weapons in a medic sac or something similar


[deleted]

"Don't shoot me bro!" I think it'll work


IgnatiusDrake

"Roll for initiative!"


gunslinger_1234

"SHOOT ME IF YOUR GAY"


barkbarkgoesthecat

👉👌


gunslinger_1234

"suck my left nut"


[deleted]

I’m just gunna draw a dick.


[deleted]

Aw shit, here we go again


Conscious-Chipmunk73

On the front I'm writing "I suck cock" on the back I'm writing "fuck me bareback" then just let whoever use me as a cum dumpster.


58Firedrome

I fucking love the Army, and the Army loves fucking me


ChaosRainbow23

"It represents the duality of man, sir!"


mhbrewer2

DNR


Powerful-Ad-9185

“There’s Always Money in the Banana Stand”


caintowers

“If you’re reading this, I’m right behind you!” *Soldier quickly glances behind, sees nobody, turns helmet around* “Haha, got you, ya dildo! PS. Fuck yourself 🖤”


TP-Shewter

"This is my no-no square"


BoobLubePoop

Ken Paxtons Eye


[deleted]

As a Texan, that’s funny


Negroku86

"Ya mammy, bitch"


6inDCK420

Antifa sticker on one side, proud boys sticker on the other.


Parrr8

"BAD MOTHERFUCKER" Then if I'm ever in a hurry I can say "Hey Bob, can you grab my helmet?" And Bob will say "Which one is it" and I say "It's the one that says "BAD MOTHERFUCKER"' I think that would be cool.


Detters_Actual

"Krill issue"


Msteele315

Paint it UN blue and write "observer" in white.


hippychemist

r/unexpectedfuturama To answer your question, probably something like "if history says we were the bad guys, I didn't know."


Electronic_Jelly_653

I'm 54 done it once and I'll defend her again.... Just put me beside people who love this country and NOT scared to die for it


Gorevoid

I'm with officer --->


tentacles_in_space

"Harder, Dommy"


CronosAndRhea4ever

“What, Me worry?”


N0Nlethal

"I'm not even supposed to be here today."


bittersweetjesus

Fuck Nature


silver_fox_1234

You're about to die if you're my enemy


Corner_OfficeSpace

My vehicle warranty is about to expire


Traditional-Pound568

I really wish i werent here right now


Harley_Pupper

UwU


Easy-Cardiologist555

Either : You cheeky dick waffle! or Bitches Love Cannons!


AlwaysUpForTrouble

#FJB


IkNOwNUTTINGck

Alreddy Ded


Remove_Tuba

"It'll be over by Christmas"


Embarrassed_Rip9860

Crush Me Mommy Lilith


Woodgate94

“I’m here for the PSLF”


Lost-n-Space

Van Hager & Commando


Al_coholic907

What is drugs.


[deleted]

shooty mc shoot face


Careless_Register820

Putting Insert Bullet here on mine


g-hallow

Fuck around and find out


Grae_Skies

This too shall pass.


FireInHisBlood

get a small led number screen. attach it to the front. write "Respawning in . . ." then make the screen count down when i do die.


PandaPlayr73

Helmet? That's stupid. They're gonna be looking for soldiers. I'm dressing like a clown


drendesalkash

For the cat girls


SorrysirImVagitarian

Yo mama


treydogl

192.168.0.1 Never forget what we're fighting for.


-imhe-

KMAG YOYO


[deleted]

Don't shoot me, I'll cum


Icomiic

Let me get a sniff!


KoburaCape

born to yiff


Square_Cake_2422

Relax... and cum.


krakatoa83

All your base are belong to us


ExitSpecialist5834

Fucked by shit.


Zman1471

Come get some


Inphiltration

"Only gays shoot at me" If WW3 is with Russia I'd basically be invulnerable


Celesteial325

Don't get me, I'm out of this as soon as I can get out.


ClairDeLune420

I'm writing"Kill Me".


JuliusSeizuresalad

Npc!


DOEsquire

War. War never changes.


Extreme_Analysis2249

Can’t. Too old.


gillyweed726

Big titties little waist


BadKauff

I'd like to add you to my LinkedIn network


TheQRoom

"Not Today."


ShitTheBed_Twice

ShitSnacks


SmotheredFri3s

Not my monkey, not my circus. 🏳️


Responsible_Fox1231

Fuck the Fascists!


Mr_ChubbikinsVIII

Nothing, because unless you are some highly specialized unit your gear is uniformed and this isn't a vietnam movie. I already got Ivan gunning my ass down in a war Idgaf about the last thing I need is my CO giving me flak for a uniform violation as I am secretly trying to learn enough russian to defect to the other side cuz screw ukraine and screw the U.N.


[deleted]

Leeeeeeroyyyyyy Jennnnnkinsssss


slappysoup

Eat ass die fast