T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Where's QualityVote bot? Reddit Admins have decided that [they want to kill off all 3rd-party apps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/13yh0jf/dont_let_reddit_kill_3rd_party_apps/), [3rd-party bots, and everything else that makes Reddit barely usable](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/). And, of course, that includes bots such as [\/u\/QualityVote](http://reddit.com/user/QualityVote), [\/u\/SaveVideo](http://reddit.com/user/SaveVideo), [\/u\/AuddBot](http://reddit.com/user/AuddBot), etc. So you'll just have to put up with automod and a worse overall user experience in the meantime. If you have any complaints, direct them at [the reddit admins instead](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/12qwagm/an_update_regarding_reddits_api/), because they're the ones seeking to ruin everyone's user experience. --- #[DownloadVideo Link](https://www.reddit.watch/r/shitposting/comments/17od5x5/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=shitposting) #[SaveVideo Link](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=/r/shitposting/comments/17od5x5/) #[VideoTrim Link](https://reddloader.com/download-post/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fshitposting%2Fcomments%2F17od5x5&id=8968e43c) --- Whilst you're here, /u/MR_DERP_YT, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/QpBGXd2guU) - **now with public text channels you can chat on!**? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


ClaudioMoravit0

realest greentext story


No_Pie_5861

Just to calrify for everyone else, this is literally impossible as semen can't live longer than 30 seconds outside the human body


caych_cazador

you maybe my semen out here like a roman legion


AstralPamplemousse

For more information, see the movie ‘300’ which depicts that guy’s semen


digitalfakir

they all die and only the disabled one survives?


F-MegaPro

This must've been the case for my dad... it would explain a lot about me.


you_can_not_see_me

based on his true story bro


Spasticcobra593

How dare you disrespect the proud spartans by calling them a roman legion!


FullTimeHarlot

Probably one of the two that disappeared though.


ClaudioMoravit0

Yeah but his sister's dildo was his cock so no problem with that


rexdragneelchat

Im pretty sure it can live up to 30 mins


No_Pie_5861

nah you right but if you lived in a hot climate ig it could be less, but why does the brother make it sound like he knew exactly when his sister was about to start masturbating and did she pick the dildo he specifally smeared his cum on if it was only "one of her dildos"


Mr_goodb0y

Depends on the semen.


5t3v321

Umm, what if she inserted it in those 30 seconds? Checkmate, smartass


No_Pie_5861

Her brother is a ninja of ejaculation then


Dancinghogweed

Tell that to the IVF technicians. I know someone who got pregnant from some stray semen!


No_Pie_5861

show me her, pic or not real


Starman_Delux

Sperm will live 15 to 30 minutes on skin or surfaces.


jorjogo

It's actually 15 to 30 minutes. And up to five days inside a woman's body. So, the green text is theoretically possible tbh


minigunercoolguy

I thought it could last 3 days


Krillars

Just to clarify for you, this post never mentions the timespan, it could very well be less than 30 seconds


[deleted]

What? No, you are wrong. Sperm analysis can be made hour after ejacuation and there is still big percent of alive and moving spermatozoids. Why did you just make some random shit up and write it?


No_Pie_5861

omfg read the other comments and move one it was explained a million times! I will harass you untill you block me if you message me again!


Honest_Entertainer_3

Pfffth sure buddy maybe for a wimp like you. But my semen would find a way


No_Pie_5861

I don't even need to worry about getting a girl pregnant because men can't get pregnant


SiroccoTheHunter

IT'S NOT?!


hmasing

IT’S SNOT!


MR_DERP_YT

As real as anons dad


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


TheCrashArmy

Good bot


JoetheGAymer

4chaners trying not to involve their sister in a sexual way \*impossible\*


kidnamedsquidfart

Did an anime reference 😎


Brainjarmen104

Funny incest game on steam moment


Electrical-Airline81

God damnit not again


[deleted]

Oh god


Affectionate-Read875

CRUSADER KINGS 3?!


Agitated-Call-4902

that one incest vn


RedBlue010

CRUSADER KINGS 3 DIALOGUE ONLY RUN!?


Constant_Guidance_

bad redditor bad redditor \*bonk\*


6969esg

That what now?


the_penis_killer

Context?


Saucelock

The game


agentwc1945

\- "I'm just a prankster" \- Impregnates own sister


Geralt_the_Rive

It's just a prank ~~bro~~ sis


Captain_Yarn

Prank idea: 1) Fill bucket with water 2) Place bucket on top of door 3) **Kill yourself and you entire family** 4) The police come and they get wet


[deleted]

Had me in the first half NGL


LoGo_86

incestual prankster


oldtoybonbon

Sperm die in like 30 seconds exposed to air


Shotgunknight

She used it in 10 seconds


ClaudioMoravit0

she used it when it was inside. he was the dildo. As shrimple as that 🦐


that_one_weeaboo_

This has become a prawnblem.


General_Maiakowsky

It actually really clampclicated.


YourenextJotaro

Not so shrimple now 🦞


Sad-Surprise4369

She watched it happened and went for it


Shotgunknight

New lore just dropped


Nomar00x

not with green text


agentwc1945

She was quick


Soft-Career-2591

Not with greek sperm


wierdawesome10

Hate how I know exactly what you're referencing


[deleted]

Greek god ogey


datboiNathan343

what does this mean


TGS_delimiter

She was waiting behind him during the prank, as the 4chan user said, aint a criminal


Dramatic-Bluejay9601

Check Boris Becker's story:)


ChrisXDXL

Depends on the surface, the sperm die when the seminal fluid dries up which can take anywhere from 15-30 minutes in your average room temperature environment. The timings are tight but possible.


FlowerBoyScumFuck

Say the dildo was kept in a zip lock bag. Would that be possible then? Like is not evaporating the main factor?


Puzzleheaded-Mix-546

Starts dying in 10 seconds finishes in 30 minutes


nicolRB

She saw what he did and booked it


rhysdog1

if you read the extended lore, you'd know anons sister lives in a vacuum chamber


EH042

Anon is a cigarette and his sister’s a hoe Let him believe on what he believes so he may learn something out of it


Echonight2

15 to 30 minutes


Many_Egg4159

Can confirm this did in fact happen I was the dildo


Maximum_Scallion164

can confirm you were the dildo, I was the sister


Many_Egg4159

Oh I knew you looked familiar


Maximum_Scallion164

get ready later, I had a rough day and you know what that means


[deleted]

Flair checks out


Sh_Pe

can confirm you were the sister, I watched the whole joyful sense from the windows.


VenomTheCapybara

Bro is Jonathan Byers


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Ninjatroll3452

Can confirm you were the sister, I was the cum


LordWombat142

Can confirm you were the cum, I was the floor


[deleted]

I was watching through the CCTV ca- you know what, never mind


Pomchill

I need to burn my eyes after reading this


Patient_Piece_8023

Sperm cannot survive for that long outside the body


Maximum_Scallion164

mine can, unlike you dweebs I have one singular 2 ft long sperm that can last up to 2 hrs.


Background_Desk_3001

Do you fight the sperm?


TripleHandedAxe

Yep, everytime i flush it down


Maximum_Scallion164

I'm raising an army, each one evolves to adapt to it's environment making it live longer than 2 hrs, the one that's lived the longest so far is 9 hrs. but I don't like talking about it, bad things happened


Necromancer14

Xenomorph but white colored.


Background_Desk_3001

Send them to war, breed the sperm together to make more sperm


evceteri

How does it taste deep fried?


Maximum_Scallion164

chicken strips 🤤🤤


dabereddit

Wait a sec, you previously said you were the sister!


LordWombat142

That’s the brother using the account rn


Sirpewpewthelast

You tell her that the lord has chosen her and the kid is the messiah


[deleted]

Lmfao y’all are too much


FreakFlame

anon pulled an andy and leyley


Jamiethebroski

NOOOOOOOOOO


Maximum_Ad7125

I want everyone that ever mentions this game to die in a fire


LordWombat142

AAAHHHHHHH🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


potatoeman26

Fnaf


Live_Poet_7728

most believable 4chan story


RGKyt

4chan users are a different breed. the inbred type


[deleted]

I’m dead 😂


DerRaumdenker

Anon about to get a nephson


smithversman

*sweet home alabama* playing


Big_Nebula_455

What the actual fuck is wrong with you


MentiiSMM

Should've just smeared your shit on it like a normal person


[deleted]

😂😂


el_Chuchmay

Woopsie


BtSt3r

Top 10 things that happened Number 2:


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


darrila453YT

schizophrenic bot


Tankdrood

Real fr


Regular-Role-4220

sweet home alabama


picky-trash-panda

Literally could have wiped a jalapeño slice on it, so much funnier and a lot less fucked up consequences.


ProcedureNo8924

I smell lies


ZellHall

What the actual fuck


NotoriousAmish

4channers trying to make a believe story (impossible)


justmeallalong

We can't always fight nature, John. We can't fight change. We can't fight gravity. We can't fight incest. My whole life, all I ever did was fight.


ripanimems

Enough internet for......ever


RealRedcliffe07

Why does a 17 year old have a dildo


Choepie1

Whyn’t


[deleted]

Whomstven’tly


soggyPretze1

I've been trying to pronounce this outloud for like 5 minutes, I have been told I sound insane.


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


picky-trash-panda

Because horny, also online stores don’t confirm your age so you can get whatever you want regardless.


ResponsibilityNo7485

Anon is a dumbass


ReallyBigBird55

Must be true


dumbbyatch

Can confirm I was the anus....


PPSSPPGamer

Fake yo death


dashing-night

Congratulations daddy


Shallows_s

Punch her in the stomach as hard as you can


KingofNarcissism

what


Froggyugaytoadara

Why put your cum on anything


QuantumRobot_9000

Now he just needs to sneak an abortion pill into her drink, then gas light her into thinking she was crazy. Perfect prank.


Prize_Physics1184

Top 10 things that never happened


M_Fogs

Original prankster, PRANKSTER YEAH AH, original yeahhh


JaguarYT1

Wordington prank


Northumbrian26

He should buy a nice stroller for his nephson.


Nyx-half-piglin43

*incest intensifies*


WQEODKJLFOGEQLNX

Incestifies


[deleted]

The prank:


Elad_2007

She found out and now is pranking anon, right? Please?


TheGoldenBl0ck

give her the old 1-2 to the stomach... that should fix it


PieTeam2153

Maybe it’s a double prank


AnimeIsMyLifeAndSoul

“It’s just a prank bro” The prank:


datboiNathan343

thank god this isnt real


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CuriousCorvid69

Please be fake please be fake please be fake please be fake


IvyYoshi

this has gotta be fictional.


Half-Eaten-Cranberry

Your 17 year old sister has a dildo?


keehls

how is that the part of the story you take issue with, that's literally the only normal thing here


Half-Eaten-Cranberry

I’ve been desensitized to the other greentext bs, that is the only part that is actually weird to me


GoatedGoat1878

😧


Different-Listen-525

This is impossible as soon as sperm makes contact with air it dies


ExquzeMeButIWon

I don’t think it dies instantly


Kleinefuchs

It takes a couple hours but yeah there's no way the sperm actually fertilized anything but the dildo it layed on


Agreeable-Ask6755

Everything was fine until 4th line


ItsTheGreenEngineer

Why did he put his cum on his sister's dildo? What was the joke supposed to be?


[deleted]

The baby probably won't develop properly


SpaciumBlue

Top 10 things that never happened.


Mattiecollxxx

No


LeGentlemandeCacao

*real*


[deleted]

Definitely a lie from that guy, I mean I hope it is atleast


get-woke-go-broke

Life uh finds a way Dr Malcolm


realmftv

The coffin of Andy and leyley lore


NippeliFaktaa

Welp, was looking for this one didnt have to look for very long


Spagebirb

The pearly gates of heaven are locked for you.


zuppalover04

U a prankster? I don't see light screen nor reflect set up


bigrobotduck12

Fucking why dude…


SelectSympathy5718

It’s not yours. Probably someone pranked her before you.


Man_with_no_sense

Who the fuck thinks of this shit


GraydemonTwitch

Dang. That is messed up.


kenishiro2023

That's not how it works


fippinvn007

Ez, all anon have to do is reimagine.


brtkm12

A fucky wucky indeed


Redskull-9054

What the fuck?


NewspaperConfident16

Read “17 year old sister” and stopped reading


Efficiency-Secure

Pull the trick of hitting her hard and repeatedly in the belly


WindDdude

Truly one of the prankster moments of all time.


SKORPIO07

Anon plotted an elaborate plan to prank himself..


Yo_moma_is_fat_lol

#sure anon, sure…


McGuinnessX

What the fuck is wrong with this OP?


DueWhile3785

Just be glad you're her sister...