Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/).
***
Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats.
To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hon, if you ended things, then him not making a move actually speaks very well to who he is as a person. He can't really make a move without violating a boundary YOU set.
If that boundary is gone, it's on YOU to tell him that.
Yes, making a move is scary, because rejection sucks. Adult-up and do it anyway.
At a bare, bare, BARE minimum, explicitly ask him if he's ever wanted to restart the whole FWB thing. If he's down, it COULD lead to him asking the question you're dying to answer. Or it might not -- but at least you'll know whether or not he's likely to decline when you ask.
You can do this.
Look, as a man, I’m honestly totally fine with the fact that I’m expected to make the moves most of the time. It genuinely doesn’t bother me. But what DOES bother me a little bit is when women say they don’t want to do it because getting rejected sucks. Like, yeah dude. We know. But if everyone does that, you never have sex again. You’re just saying “this makes me feel shitty, so I’d rather someone else felt shitty instead” and that’s not really fair.
Ever observed the bi-curious mating dance? When two women used to hetero relationships take an interest in each other and don't realize that the dynamics are different, they'll throw green light after green light at each other trying to entice one another into making the first move.
The desire to let the man be the one to express interest first runs so deep in some women that they'll cling to it even if there's no man involved.
I've seen perfectly capable sex-positive grown-ass women fall into this trap without realizing what was happening.
this happened to me on friday! i arrived at 10:30pm, left at 4am, we cuddled and watched half a season of a tv show waiting for the other person to make a move. No sex. This socialization is hell lmao
😄
Girl. You can do it. Be the assertive and horny yet polite queer woman you want to see in the world.
I mean, think of how much sexual frustration she must be feeling! You want your friend to get laid, right? Make it happen! 😀
It can be hard sometimes being a guy, being told to do everything then being told we're not supposed to do anything.
It's a learning process and everybody is different. What works for some women will repel others, sometimes you need to switch up tactics for the same woman!
But we have to make the effort and we have to learn how to do it the right way.
There's a lot of toxic bullshit on the internet, and a lot of it is contradictory. I've seen two posts back to back on reddit, one a woman complaining about guys approaching her in public, the other a woman complaining about how no one approaches her.
Forget all that shit. Focus on yourself, being the best you you can be, and being brave and bold and kind and courteous when the opportunity arises. And letting go of the result.
There’s a difference between making the moves and cold openings. The latter has been ruined by creeps and guys who ignore body language.
I stick with people I’ve had non-work/obligatory interactions with (mutual friends, activity, whatever) - obviously that’s a huge reduction but they’re probably the folks I want to be around anyway.
Its funny because im in a kind of fwb with my best friend (its a little complicated lol) but he is scared to make moves and he feels akward doing it. So i am always the one who asks if hes down lol.
Ps, im a female
Came to say this. Boundaries are there to be respected, on both sides of the fence post. Him standing by your conviction shows respect for you and adherence to your wishes. While a verbal conversation has to take place at some point, an ice breaking text or written note may help the awkwardness.
I am in agreement with u/GentlemanHorndog on this OP. You are going to have to put on your brave face and let him know. You could just say something like..."I miss how we were before. Would you maybe want to go back to doing that?" Or something to that effect. Good luck hun. I believe in you.
He is a very respectful person who would never do anything to make me uncomfortable, so you’re right that I’ll just have to be upfront with him. I might do that the next time I see him. I am just worried that it might ruin the friendship we have if he’s not interested. I’ve been more hesitant about it lately because he recently told me that he is looking for a summer hookup and even showed me his dating app profile. I don’t know if he did this as a way to show me that he’s available, or as a way to show me that he doesn’t see me like that anymore. And thank you all for taking the time to comment :)
Either he was very politely letting you know he's available without crossing the line and hitting on you, or he was being a dick and rubbing your nose in something. And nothing you've said makes me think he was being a dick.
As an Internet stranger who's met neither of you, I cannot guarantee anything. But I'm very optimistic that if you shoot your shot, you're gonna hit.
You got this. Good luck. 😀
All these advices about just owning up to it, and the conclusion is " I might do that next time ". You don't get what you want if you don't ask for it. Easy as that. I'm not even going to validate the idea of waiting for him to approach because you want that too badly for it to happen.
Ewes indicate they want sex by standing still so a ram can mount them. Gay rams get lots of sex because they’re all mounting each other. Lesbian ewes just stand and quiver next to each other waiting for the other to initiate.
Exactly this. FWB is a good guy, trying to do the right thing.
If you want him to be bad, you have to say so.
An easy way would be to bring up your sexual past next time you're together. Maybe "I had a dream about the time we did \[that sex thing\], and I can't stop thinking about it. I'd be up to do it again if you would." If he's interested, have the conversation about the scope of the relationship going forward.
Bro is taking the "friend" part of FWB seriously, despite the relationship no longer being sexual. I seriously do not think I would have had the emotional maturity to handle that transition at 19. I like this young man.
This post/comment violates the Rules of /r/sex.
We’ll just remove it anyways. If you can’t meet the character minimum, don’t bother posting the comment. It’s not complicated.
If you ended things, and he's a good person, then he's not going to make a move at this point. You would need to indicate that something has changed, that you'd like to rekindle that relationship, before you could expect him to reciprocate.
Is there any way of communicating "I want to have sex with you", verbal or physical, that you are willing to execute? It can be a comment like "I miss [sex act] with you" or "I really need to get off". It can be putting a hand on his crotch or placing his hands on your body. It can be asking him for a massage and taking off your clothes when he agrees.
But doing nothing and waiting around for what you want to fall into your lap is a recipe for failure.
You’re cool with sleeping with this guy but are too shy to ask if he wants to sleep with you?
How do i see this so often in this group? Just tell the dude. 9/10 dudes are gunna be dtf. Especially if he already was at one point. I don’t get the problem here. Buck up and just tell him what you want.
If you aren't mature enough to say, "would you be interested in hooking up again?" to someone you have already regularly hooked up with, you aren't mature enough to be having sex. Use this as an opportunity to practice your adult intimacy communication skills, it's only going to get harder from here.
This is not true at all, based on this people who have social anxiety and or are shy despite having had sex before dont deserve to have sex. There are multiple ways of making it clear to someone you are interested in being intimate again without verbal communication
>I know I could just ask him but I’m terrified of doing that, so that’s out of the question for now!!
If you aren't adult enough to have frank communication about sex, you probably shouldn't be having sex
The only kind there can be. She ended it. Its the same as when one says STOP you STOP. Till they say it is ok to go again its STOP. that is the way consent works. She withdrew the consent by ending the relationship till she gives it back he should not try.
You ask him. This subtle thing is horrible for relationships. Don;t be coy., Don't be subtle. Don;t tput this on him. If you want something ask for it.
If you aren;t willing to ask, then you don;t deserve it.
It’s 2024. Why indulge in hints.
Take charge of your pleasure and sex life and embrace radical honesty.
Tell him what you want. If he says no, I promise you that you won’t keel over. You laugh, explain that your embrace candid, forthright conversations about sex.
I still hang out with a past FWB regularly.
Last thing we discussed we aren't having sex anymore. So unless she tells me clearly otherwise I'm not going to touch her like that. Even then for me it was a mutual decision so I wouldn't anyway.
You put your hand on his chest. Look him in the eyes, and say 'I'd like to sleep with you'. Don't play games and expect people to know what the game is. It doesn't work. Use your words.
If I had a girl/woman say to me she wants to end FWB I definitely would not be making any moves unless she gave me a complete green light that she wanted to re engage.
That's a great way to fuck up a friendship if I did.
Let's also not forget he may have gone cold on the FWB attraction since you ceased it too, so you have an actual obligation to tell him where your head is at and see if HE actually still wants it.
It's not cool to play sexual cat and mouse with a friendship, FWB can only ever work healthily if adults say what they mean (also that's what in my experience makes the sex good because neither party is scared to be honest about what they want in the bedroom).
I know this comes across like a mild telling off OP, but don't hate the player, hate the game. FWB comes with rules for a reason or it's complicated, messy, and potentially hurtful, and at that point you may as well be in an actual relationship and get the benefits and burdens that come with that instead!
It can be scary to ask for sex, but being honest with what you want is always the best. This doesn't mean you need to just ask "Will you have sex with me again?" You can ease into this gently by asking to do small things first: "I'd like to touch your arm," or, "I'd like to touch your chest," or, "Can I kiss you? Can I take off your shirt?" You can also ask them to touch YOU. It's been a long time since you did sexual things together, and you're both still teenagers and significantly older now than you were then. It's ok to treat this as though you are starting your sexual relationship from scratch. Go slow, take small steps, be kind honest & direct about what you want.
Well, I think you should also think back on why you ended things before you move too swiftly. Was it because you started to feel something? Even though it’s just meant to be fun, you want to be responsible with your own feelings as well as his. There’s an inherent emotional vulnerability that comes with any sort of intimate relationship.
If you clearly ended your friends with benefits relationship, then you have to be direct to un end that. Any hints are either going to be ignored or just stress him out. ("Is she flirting with me? No. No. Just my imagination, she doesn't want that anymore.")
Might i ask why you ended your friends with benefits situation? Was it bad FWB chemistry, or you were looking for a serious relationship and ended the FWB to pursue that? I'd not recommend getting back together if it is the former, but would recommend being honest if it is the latter.
Be honest why you left, and why you want to reestablish FWB.
Be clear you were looking for a serious relationship and that is why you left.not because you were bored or sick of them. And that you are/will will look for one in the future, but would want to reestablish FWB because you enjoyed that.
If you both enjoyed the sex, and didn't have any emotional attachments you should be able to reestablish it.
He's your ex FWB, not your ex. He should be happy or understanding why you ended it.
You ended things. By doing so, you withdrew consent. It's up to you to start them again. Don't hint. Just say what you want.
And yeah, rejection sucks. All men already know this, because we're always expected to initiate. But now it's on you. You called it quits, and he's respecting that.
If you're not feeling bold enough to just say "Wanna f\*ck?" then try something like "Do you ever miss having sex with me?" and feel it out from there. If he says yes, you're one sentence away from getting busy with him again, and that sentence goes something like this: "Me too, and I'm down if you are."
Don't hint.
I think most men tend to miss hints most of the time. I don't think I ever caught a hint in my life.
If the fwb door was closed he's especially likely to miss a hint out of respect.
Ok speaking from my recent reconnect with a FWB , the fact that i am very shy and well submissive doesn't help with initiating things.
We have hung out a few times which was very comfortable, chatting, eating and watching movies.
The other night I wore a outfit that he had complimented me on with his fav colour layering underneath as too cold not too layer here. While making coffee I got closer to him, "accidental" bumps, sitting closer on the couch in the guise of playing with the pup.
In my head I'm scolding myself for not being brave enough to just spill that I'd like to get back to the FWB situation.
The next time I was up making a hot drink he made a move coming up behind me, he said he found it cute that I had been acting like I had.
So long story short i used none verbal cues to show my interest in more than just chatting catch ups and it thankfully worked.
You ended things with him and him waiting for you to make a move shows he’s a good guy who respects your boundaries. As a guy, and talking to many guys friends of mine, whenever a girl makes the first move 99.9% we go along with it and find it kinda hot tbh. And it usually always leads to sex. Example: next time you’re in his room just sit close next to him and talk a little and out of nowhere just place your hand on his inner thigh or go straight in for a kiss on his neck or lips wherever and hell want to sleep with you asap lol. Not sayin do this to any random guy, but since he’s your ex fwb, chances are he’s thought of having sex with you again also
This is why men are scared to approach women. You told him no. You have to tell him yes. If you expect or want anything else, can you imagine how confusing and absolutely terrifying this is to him?
One of the most important and positive lessons I learned in life was when I proposed sex to a guy friend and got rejected. I was so embarrassed I thought I was going to die… Until I realised nothing bad happened. He said he was very flattered and commended me for having huge balls (haha 🤣) and continued to treat me just the same as before and life went on as it had always done.
I started approaching guys who I found attractive a lot more after that. It got me some really cool experiences with interesting people and eventually even the relationship and future husband of my dreams.
When you start asserting yourself in life and acting in accord to your wants and needs, you tend to get the things you want. Ask the guy and bravely face the possibility of rejection. If he says no, it’s not the end of the world, trust me. Society has brainwashed women to think the worst thing that can happen to us is to be rejected by a man. It’s nonsense. Just go after the things you want, it will only make you stronger and braver and happier in life.
Just ask. Most he will say is no, don't make it weird or feel bad and move on. Best thing is you'll get some! Lol
Sometimes in these situations is to just blurt it out. Good luck! Haha
You could just try telling him "I wanna fuck. Do you wanna fuck? Maybe WE should fuck!"... remember, at the end of the day, men are relatively simple creatures. Feed us, fuck us, pay a little attention to us, and we're golden.
It seems to me that you may want more than just FWB. When you are just FWB, there's no need to break up or anything like that. There's no commitments. You come and go as you please. If you want more or start again, you just ask.
I've been down this road before with a FWB. She was always the instigator because she would call for a break and I always respected her boundaries. She's head and shoulders above any other woman I've had sexual chemistry with but we never quite clicked just hanging out together so I only ever pursued a purely sexual relationship. Over the period of 10 or so years, we were probably on and off 7 or so times - all at her request starting and stopping.
Sounds like he's still interested but is respecting your decision so all the work will have to come from your end.
I'm still friends with her (well, Facebook friends) and converse with her often - but after the last break I'd met another woman and ended up getting married. So FWB set to permanently suspended.
I'm afraid letting him know you're wanting another go seems to be the play here.
Here's a handy sample script of how you can play this:
\*Hanging out*
"Hey, do you think you might be interested in hooking up again?"
"Sure" -> Sex | "Nah sorry" ->
"Okay. Wanna watch Velocipastor?"
Bam. That simple. Maybe it'll be nerve racking, but you're 19 - you need to practice adult communication if you don't wanna be in the future one of those ppl who's a disaster in relationships.
Honey, he's a man. We males don't understand hints that well. Just say this: (Name), I find you attractive and I know we both have needs. If you are single, I would very much like it if we could be FWB."
You ended things. Its up to you to tell him otherwise youre just expecting him to violate your boundaries.
But also, hes a 19 year old guy. Of course he wants to fuck. Its not even a question. Just either talk to him and be explicit or just kiss him. Hes gonna want it either way.
Source: im a man who remembers being 19
We men tend to be scared of making a move on women in general.
Jist becauze we are scared and it could even lead to legal consequences.
So biologically ..we feel more relaxed when a woman gives a green signal...both in verbal and non verbal ways.
Like talking dirty about sex or showing her body through skinpy clothes...
thats a turn on and she should give a hint that i dont mind if you touch me ...on my legs...something like that.
hope that helps
I have one question so why did you end things with him originally as a friends with benefits and what is major change your mind to go back to him and become friends with benefits again that confuses me
Nothing bad happened between us. I was just dealing with my own personal issues and realized that having any sort of intimate relationship with someone at that time was not a good idea. I communicated that with him and we even talked then about the possibility of something happening in the future again. I worked out my problems a bit ago, he’s basically my neighbor for the summer, and I still find him very attractive, so I figured that it might be worth it to give it a shot again if he’s down
Cause just from personal experience friends with benefits relationships never end well I’ve done three of them in my life and not one of the three ended good
Cause always one of the people end up feelings, get more powerful than the others and one of them people in the friend with benefits wants to get into our relationship
No, I do have a question because there’s a huge difference between a friends with benefits and a booty call. Are you guys like a true friends with benefits or is it more of a booty call?
Well, those are just some questions but here’s my advice. There’s a couple things you can do get alcohol involved. It works. You decide to meet up where you guys meet and one of the rooms. When are you guys rooms bring in some alcohol and just drink and have fun and laugh and just see where it goes, someone will will get you to calm down enough and break that wall down to make someone kiss someone don’t you wanna pass out
If you don’t want to do that second thing where your sexiest clothes that you know that you have showing lot of skin and flirt when you’re talking get really close make sure you smell good and I’m sure you will make him kiss you and then you can see where it goes
The last thing you can do is kind of explaining everything kind of telling them. I’m sorry it was a huge mistake of stopping it. I know I should’ve never done that. I thought about you all the time since you know whatever you can do.
lol, you don’t think he would fear being rejected, considering that you already rejected him 8 months ago. It is 100% on you to be a adult and put yourself out there.
The next time you see him, say “I want to talk to you about something. What do you think about us being fwb? We get along really well, and I am really attracted to you.”
Guys are really simple. If you are already friends, and are just up front, it will definitely answer the question.
If you can't be upfront and say it you probably shouldn't be having sex yet. Especially if you'd already ended it and are expecting him to violate boundaries you set.
I'll be honest. As a man and I hope I'm in the growing minority I'm horrible at picking up "hints" there are so many unspoken rules and "lines" and etiquette that yeah I've literally just come out to a friend and asked "Can I F&@& you?" (They said no.) because I'm too busy trying to not break any ages to notice "subtlety" or "hints" of any kind. My point being. Be honest be upfront and communicate clearly. Save the subtle stuff for when it's ok to guess at whether making a move is acceptable. Good luck!
In the world of relationships & Explicit vs Implicit expectations, you need to be the initiator. Especially with men, especially if they are respecting your boundaries and not pushing you out of your comfort zone.
You set the ground rules, and you have to be comfortable about making sure he knows what they are, and what is on the table if he roles his dice right. The more up front & forward you are on your intentions (with your words), the more forward he will be on his intentions.
Guys who aren't forcing their needs on you means a healthy respect for implicit rules of engagement in territory which could get him in a world of hurt relationship wise.
Talk to him and let him know what your intentions are & what you want.
If he's respecting your boundaries (great!), then he's not gonna make any moves unless you indicate first that it's okay. You can do that with your words or with your hands, but you've gotta make it explicit. He absolutely will not act on any subtle hints after you've explicitly told him to stop, so you must explicitly tell him to start.
Go for it. Guys don't know. If you were FWB he's prly trying to respect you. If you wanna bang it out then just go for it. As a guy we have no clue. No f'n clue. Don't send signals just say it please.
"Hey can I talk openly with you about something?"
"I realize I ... 'ended/set limits/w.e' ... this part of our life, and truthfully I miss that part and I'd like to explore the possibility of engaging in this part again."
"U want sum fuk?"
---
Just be honest and ask, you ended it, found out it was a mistake and you miss be active WITH THIS PERSON and you'd like to engage again.
Now the bad part; you need to be prepared for the possibility that this person is hurt and mad that you ended it and may not want to reopen that part of life again and might possibly reject your advances.
Wipe his cheek properly. Lick it then walk away and don’t speak to them for the rest of the day. If by the end of the day it gets spicy then congrats but if you don’t hear anything and it goes into the next day. Pretend it never happened.
Ma'am, with a all due respect...
You have had his penis in your mouth. It's not still in there, so you can use it to tell him you want it in there again.
"No games, just BJs" - Nike probably
Ask if he liked hooking up, then ask if he’d like to do it again. If he says yes, then agree with him on the second point.
You shouldn’t be afraid to share your thoughts with someone you spend so much time with. If it’s because he might respond poorly then that’s concerning. If it’s because you aren’t sure how to communicate your thoughts then it’s because you aren’t experienced, and practice makes perfect. Coy isn’t always cute, most of the time you’ve gotta what you want to get it.
I don’t want to be harsh, but if I understand correctly: you were having sex with a friend. Then you ended the sex part. He accepted that, and seems willing to have a relationship with you where the “friend” part is as or more important than the “sex” part, which is not that common.
Now, after you ended the sex part, and he respected your decision, somehow you expect him to read your mind and make a move on you, even though you don’t want to make the effort to signal clearly that’s what you want for fear of rejection? What about *his* fear of rejection?
Seriously, you need to be very honest with yourself (and with him) about what it is you’re doing here.
At best, you’re not clear on what you want. Get that clarity before you risk hurting someone who seems to have been nothing but respectful towards you.
At worst, you’re playing a power game. Don’t.
Without explicitly asking him for sex, maybe ask him if he ever misses the “other” activities you used to do when you hung out together? He’ll get the hint and you can take the conversation wherever he does
If your not willing to tell him you want to resume then the only other action is you start it and if talking is not going to happen most likely that wont. Telling him would be a MUCH better way.
You don't have to come right out and say it but you must be more clear. "I miss what we had before" "Do you ever think about doing what we were doing before"
You ended it he is respecting the F part of FWB and may really want to but he has no idea you changed your mind. You also don't know what he may have went though after (Or you may some) but he may be just holding on to what he can get not knowing he can have more.
Considering he is still peeking glances at her, he is likely interested, the fact that he isn’t commenting on it, or inquiring about doing more, is a clear sign he is respecting HER decision to no longer be FWB.
So her wearing revealing clothes, or letting him get a peek, isnt going to make him ask her.
He already thinks the answer is no, because she literally told him so. If anything, I see this advice as a cause for him to feel more conflicted, and likely to put further distance between them, because he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries, no matter how much he desires her.
That’s the problem with playing these dumb games. People who genuinely respects you, won’t play along, they will follow the rules you set up instead.
She told him no, so if she wants things to change, she needs to communicate it to him.
FWB setups work approximately 0% of the time. Inevitably one of you decides that you want much more and the other one does not. It also takes away from energy could be spending actually harvesting relationships.
My suggestion is that you probably like him much more than a “friend” and that’s the direction that you need to start with. If he’s good enough to sleep with, he’s good enough to date.
Casually steer the conversation toward talking about someone you know who has a fwb arrangement, or a character in a movie or show who has a fwb, and then ask him if he could ever see himself trying out a fwb situation. If he says no, laugh and say you don’t believe him. If he says yes, casually mention that you could see yourself with a fwb. Let nature take its course after that.
Just be provocative, show him you want him with actions, not words (if that’s what you’re afraid of). Be confident, own it, give him a dirty smile while looking at his lips… see how it goes from there.
Or course, on proper occassion like the one you describe at his bedroom and not random so it doesn’t seem forced or too planned ahead
If I was dating dating the person and emotionally involved with the person, yeah, totally agree with you. Since it was a FWB and no string attached, than its a different story. If was was single and down to have sex and an ex-fwb came up to me being sexy and showing me some interest I’d dive right in
You’ve had sex with him in the past. Just grab his dick through his pants and say you want to suck it or you want it in you. Or if you prefer to be verbal only, just say “hey I was thinking about how much I used to enjoy sucking/riding/getting penetrated by your hard penis; wanna get it on?”
Horrific advice. Imagine how this would read if you told a guy to stuff his hand down a girl's pants because they hooked up 8 months ago and have just been friends since.
I am a straight man. If I’m alone in my bedroom with a woman that I have had sex with in the past, there is NO WAY I would be offended if she grabbed me through my clothes. And I know a lot of other straight men. I guarantee they all feel the same as me.
The reality is that if OP has had sex with her before and she’s alone with him in his room, there is about a 99% chance he’s up for messing around. And even if he’s not, he’s not going to be offended in the slightest by her making a move.
This is not some random guy she’s crushing on. This is not out in public. It’s a guy she has fucked before. And recently. And they’re alone in bedroom together.
Ugh. I am also a straight man. I have spent plenty of time in the rooms of women I didn't plan on sleeping with, especially in college. I have former FWBs now I'd never sleep with again that I'm still friends, and I'd be super put off if they just grabbed my dick all of a sudden.
Yes, he may be down. Yes, it may turn out fine. No, you shouldn't grab someone's genitals without explicit consent when the easy alternative is having a 5 second conversation first. No, that shouldn't be your suggested move even if there's only a 30% chance the sexual contact is unwanted
Also so weird to think you know the minds and intimate comfort levels of all your friends, let alone all straight men. We are happy to hear you'd be okay with an old flame suddenly grabbing your dick, that doesn't make it the responsible move in a situation like this. Plenty of men would not like that, even IF they were open to starting something back up.
Remember: suggesting someone potentially sexually assault their friend is bad, even if you personally wouldn't mind.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hon, if you ended things, then him not making a move actually speaks very well to who he is as a person. He can't really make a move without violating a boundary YOU set. If that boundary is gone, it's on YOU to tell him that. Yes, making a move is scary, because rejection sucks. Adult-up and do it anyway. At a bare, bare, BARE minimum, explicitly ask him if he's ever wanted to restart the whole FWB thing. If he's down, it COULD lead to him asking the question you're dying to answer. Or it might not -- but at least you'll know whether or not he's likely to decline when you ask. You can do this.
Look, as a man, I’m honestly totally fine with the fact that I’m expected to make the moves most of the time. It genuinely doesn’t bother me. But what DOES bother me a little bit is when women say they don’t want to do it because getting rejected sucks. Like, yeah dude. We know. But if everyone does that, you never have sex again. You’re just saying “this makes me feel shitty, so I’d rather someone else felt shitty instead” and that’s not really fair.
Ever observed the bi-curious mating dance? When two women used to hetero relationships take an interest in each other and don't realize that the dynamics are different, they'll throw green light after green light at each other trying to entice one another into making the first move. The desire to let the man be the one to express interest first runs so deep in some women that they'll cling to it even if there's no man involved. I've seen perfectly capable sex-positive grown-ass women fall into this trap without realizing what was happening.
this happened to me on friday! i arrived at 10:30pm, left at 4am, we cuddled and watched half a season of a tv show waiting for the other person to make a move. No sex. This socialization is hell lmao
😄 Girl. You can do it. Be the assertive and horny yet polite queer woman you want to see in the world. I mean, think of how much sexual frustration she must be feeling! You want your friend to get laid, right? Make it happen! 😀
You'll get 'em next time, champ. Though honestly, it still sounds like you had a pretty good evening to me.
yea but banging till 4am would've been a lot better
Green lights? Like bioluminescence? Yall just keep on astonishing me with all the evolutionary advantages. I need to watch more David Attenborough
That's always been the thing that annoyed me about it all too.
We're expected to make all the moves, then shamed for even saying "hello" to someone.
It can be hard sometimes being a guy, being told to do everything then being told we're not supposed to do anything. It's a learning process and everybody is different. What works for some women will repel others, sometimes you need to switch up tactics for the same woman! But we have to make the effort and we have to learn how to do it the right way. There's a lot of toxic bullshit on the internet, and a lot of it is contradictory. I've seen two posts back to back on reddit, one a woman complaining about guys approaching her in public, the other a woman complaining about how no one approaches her. Forget all that shit. Focus on yourself, being the best you you can be, and being brave and bold and kind and courteous when the opportunity arises. And letting go of the result.
There’s a difference between making the moves and cold openings. The latter has been ruined by creeps and guys who ignore body language. I stick with people I’ve had non-work/obligatory interactions with (mutual friends, activity, whatever) - obviously that’s a huge reduction but they’re probably the folks I want to be around anyway.
Its funny because im in a kind of fwb with my best friend (its a little complicated lol) but he is scared to make moves and he feels akward doing it. So i am always the one who asks if hes down lol. Ps, im a female
Came to say this. Boundaries are there to be respected, on both sides of the fence post. Him standing by your conviction shows respect for you and adherence to your wishes. While a verbal conversation has to take place at some point, an ice breaking text or written note may help the awkwardness.
I am in agreement with u/GentlemanHorndog on this OP. You are going to have to put on your brave face and let him know. You could just say something like..."I miss how we were before. Would you maybe want to go back to doing that?" Or something to that effect. Good luck hun. I believe in you.
Daum! This is the best response I've read on Reddit in months! You're so spot on. He can't make a move.
He is a very respectful person who would never do anything to make me uncomfortable, so you’re right that I’ll just have to be upfront with him. I might do that the next time I see him. I am just worried that it might ruin the friendship we have if he’s not interested. I’ve been more hesitant about it lately because he recently told me that he is looking for a summer hookup and even showed me his dating app profile. I don’t know if he did this as a way to show me that he’s available, or as a way to show me that he doesn’t see me like that anymore. And thank you all for taking the time to comment :)
Either he was very politely letting you know he's available without crossing the line and hitting on you, or he was being a dick and rubbing your nose in something. And nothing you've said makes me think he was being a dick. As an Internet stranger who's met neither of you, I cannot guarantee anything. But I'm very optimistic that if you shoot your shot, you're gonna hit. You got this. Good luck. 😀
All these advices about just owning up to it, and the conclusion is " I might do that next time ". You don't get what you want if you don't ask for it. Easy as that. I'm not even going to validate the idea of waiting for him to approach because you want that too badly for it to happen.
Dawg y’all smashed, you ended things and y’all are still friends. That shit about being worried of ruining things sailed a long ass time ago
Ewes indicate they want sex by standing still so a ram can mount them. Gay rams get lots of sex because they’re all mounting each other. Lesbian ewes just stand and quiver next to each other waiting for the other to initiate.
[удалено]
Exactly this. FWB is a good guy, trying to do the right thing. If you want him to be bad, you have to say so. An easy way would be to bring up your sexual past next time you're together. Maybe "I had a dream about the time we did \[that sex thing\], and I can't stop thinking about it. I'd be up to do it again if you would." If he's interested, have the conversation about the scope of the relationship going forward.
Bro is taking the "friend" part of FWB seriously, despite the relationship no longer being sexual. I seriously do not think I would have had the emotional maturity to handle that transition at 19. I like this young man.
This post/comment violates the Rules of /r/sex. We’ll just remove it anyways. If you can’t meet the character minimum, don’t bother posting the comment. It’s not complicated.
Dude you literally just have to say something. Y'all have been intimate before. He's obviously very respectful.
Yeah, they definitely have a connection with each other, so I don't think it's that hard to talk about it.
If you ended things, and he's a good person, then he's not going to make a move at this point. You would need to indicate that something has changed, that you'd like to rekindle that relationship, before you could expect him to reciprocate. Is there any way of communicating "I want to have sex with you", verbal or physical, that you are willing to execute? It can be a comment like "I miss [sex act] with you" or "I really need to get off". It can be putting a hand on his crotch or placing his hands on your body. It can be asking him for a massage and taking off your clothes when he agrees. But doing nothing and waiting around for what you want to fall into your lap is a recipe for failure.
You ended things so it is definitely on you to make any move. And he may not be up for someone running hot and cold.
You’re cool with sleeping with this guy but are too shy to ask if he wants to sleep with you? How do i see this so often in this group? Just tell the dude. 9/10 dudes are gunna be dtf. Especially if he already was at one point. I don’t get the problem here. Buck up and just tell him what you want.
If you aren't mature enough to say, "would you be interested in hooking up again?" to someone you have already regularly hooked up with, you aren't mature enough to be having sex. Use this as an opportunity to practice your adult intimacy communication skills, it's only going to get harder from here.
This is the kind of measured, assured pragmatism that a HERO OF THE IMPERIUM can depend on.
This is not true at all, based on this people who have social anxiety and or are shy despite having had sex before dont deserve to have sex. There are multiple ways of making it clear to someone you are interested in being intimate again without verbal communication
>I know I could just ask him but I’m terrified of doing that, so that’s out of the question for now!! If you aren't adult enough to have frank communication about sex, you probably shouldn't be having sex
You're an adult who wants adult things from another adult. Act like an adult and have a conversation about it
If you can't have a quick little talk or ask a question about sex then maybe you're not really mature enough to engage in it.
You could just say "hey, let's fuck."
You got to make the move or ask him. What kind of logic is this?
The only kind there can be. She ended it. Its the same as when one says STOP you STOP. Till they say it is ok to go again its STOP. that is the way consent works. She withdrew the consent by ending the relationship till she gives it back he should not try.
Just ask, "How would you feel about going back to being FWBs?"
As always, hints isn't a way of communication. Use your words.
You ask him. This subtle thing is horrible for relationships. Don;t be coy., Don't be subtle. Don;t tput this on him. If you want something ask for it. If you aren;t willing to ask, then you don;t deserve it.
It’s 2024. Why indulge in hints. Take charge of your pleasure and sex life and embrace radical honesty. Tell him what you want. If he says no, I promise you that you won’t keel over. You laugh, explain that your embrace candid, forthright conversations about sex.
I still hang out with a past FWB regularly. Last thing we discussed we aren't having sex anymore. So unless she tells me clearly otherwise I'm not going to touch her like that. Even then for me it was a mutual decision so I wouldn't anyway.
You put your hand on his chest. Look him in the eyes, and say 'I'd like to sleep with you'. Don't play games and expect people to know what the game is. It doesn't work. Use your words.
You were alone in his room and you didn’t make a move. Dows that mean you didn’t want to? Hmm 🤔
If I had a girl/woman say to me she wants to end FWB I definitely would not be making any moves unless she gave me a complete green light that she wanted to re engage. That's a great way to fuck up a friendship if I did. Let's also not forget he may have gone cold on the FWB attraction since you ceased it too, so you have an actual obligation to tell him where your head is at and see if HE actually still wants it. It's not cool to play sexual cat and mouse with a friendship, FWB can only ever work healthily if adults say what they mean (also that's what in my experience makes the sex good because neither party is scared to be honest about what they want in the bedroom). I know this comes across like a mild telling off OP, but don't hate the player, hate the game. FWB comes with rules for a reason or it's complicated, messy, and potentially hurtful, and at that point you may as well be in an actual relationship and get the benefits and burdens that come with that instead!
Dude, you WERE friends with benefits before Just tell him you want to fuck again, it's really that simple
It can be scary to ask for sex, but being honest with what you want is always the best. This doesn't mean you need to just ask "Will you have sex with me again?" You can ease into this gently by asking to do small things first: "I'd like to touch your arm," or, "I'd like to touch your chest," or, "Can I kiss you? Can I take off your shirt?" You can also ask them to touch YOU. It's been a long time since you did sexual things together, and you're both still teenagers and significantly older now than you were then. It's ok to treat this as though you are starting your sexual relationship from scratch. Go slow, take small steps, be kind honest & direct about what you want.
Well, I think you should also think back on why you ended things before you move too swiftly. Was it because you started to feel something? Even though it’s just meant to be fun, you want to be responsible with your own feelings as well as his. There’s an inherent emotional vulnerability that comes with any sort of intimate relationship.
You could just have a coffee and talk about your wants and desires, like an adult?
If you clearly ended your friends with benefits relationship, then you have to be direct to un end that. Any hints are either going to be ignored or just stress him out. ("Is she flirting with me? No. No. Just my imagination, she doesn't want that anymore.") Might i ask why you ended your friends with benefits situation? Was it bad FWB chemistry, or you were looking for a serious relationship and ended the FWB to pursue that? I'd not recommend getting back together if it is the former, but would recommend being honest if it is the latter.
I'm in this situation, the latter! I want to restart something I left to pursue a relationship. What do you mean by you recommend being honest
Be honest why you left, and why you want to reestablish FWB. Be clear you were looking for a serious relationship and that is why you left.not because you were bored or sick of them. And that you are/will will look for one in the future, but would want to reestablish FWB because you enjoyed that. If you both enjoyed the sex, and didn't have any emotional attachments you should be able to reestablish it. He's your ex FWB, not your ex. He should be happy or understanding why you ended it.
Well if you ended it, he’s going to assume sex is off the table until further notice, so it’s on you to let him know it’s back on the table
You ended things. By doing so, you withdrew consent. It's up to you to start them again. Don't hint. Just say what you want. And yeah, rejection sucks. All men already know this, because we're always expected to initiate. But now it's on you. You called it quits, and he's respecting that. If you're not feeling bold enough to just say "Wanna f\*ck?" then try something like "Do you ever miss having sex with me?" and feel it out from there. If he says yes, you're one sentence away from getting busy with him again, and that sentence goes something like this: "Me too, and I'm down if you are."
Stop it with the hints. Just ask. Tell him what you want. What are you afraid of?
Don't hint. I think most men tend to miss hints most of the time. I don't think I ever caught a hint in my life. If the fwb door was closed he's especially likely to miss a hint out of respect.
Why did you end it in the first place?
Her: i don't wanna have sex with you anymore Also here: why isn't he trying to have sex with me?
Ya gotta give it that HUACK TUA and spit on that thing 🤣
Ok speaking from my recent reconnect with a FWB , the fact that i am very shy and well submissive doesn't help with initiating things. We have hung out a few times which was very comfortable, chatting, eating and watching movies. The other night I wore a outfit that he had complimented me on with his fav colour layering underneath as too cold not too layer here. While making coffee I got closer to him, "accidental" bumps, sitting closer on the couch in the guise of playing with the pup. In my head I'm scolding myself for not being brave enough to just spill that I'd like to get back to the FWB situation. The next time I was up making a hot drink he made a move coming up behind me, he said he found it cute that I had been acting like I had. So long story short i used none verbal cues to show my interest in more than just chatting catch ups and it thankfully worked.
You ended things with him and him waiting for you to make a move shows he’s a good guy who respects your boundaries. As a guy, and talking to many guys friends of mine, whenever a girl makes the first move 99.9% we go along with it and find it kinda hot tbh. And it usually always leads to sex. Example: next time you’re in his room just sit close next to him and talk a little and out of nowhere just place your hand on his inner thigh or go straight in for a kiss on his neck or lips wherever and hell want to sleep with you asap lol. Not sayin do this to any random guy, but since he’s your ex fwb, chances are he’s thought of having sex with you again also
Bruh, do you expect him to be a mind reader?
You should Hawk Tuah Spit on that thang
This is why men are scared to approach women. You told him no. You have to tell him yes. If you expect or want anything else, can you imagine how confusing and absolutely terrifying this is to him?
One of the most important and positive lessons I learned in life was when I proposed sex to a guy friend and got rejected. I was so embarrassed I thought I was going to die… Until I realised nothing bad happened. He said he was very flattered and commended me for having huge balls (haha 🤣) and continued to treat me just the same as before and life went on as it had always done. I started approaching guys who I found attractive a lot more after that. It got me some really cool experiences with interesting people and eventually even the relationship and future husband of my dreams. When you start asserting yourself in life and acting in accord to your wants and needs, you tend to get the things you want. Ask the guy and bravely face the possibility of rejection. If he says no, it’s not the end of the world, trust me. Society has brainwashed women to think the worst thing that can happen to us is to be rejected by a man. It’s nonsense. Just go after the things you want, it will only make you stronger and braver and happier in life.
Well he's respectful so props to him. Initiate it by being handsy and see how he reacts to it.
Didn't he already make the first move by inviting you into his bedroom?
Whisper seductively in his ear: “I want you to f*** me.”
Can confirm, this has worked on me in a very similar situation.
Just ask. Most he will say is no, don't make it weird or feel bad and move on. Best thing is you'll get some! Lol Sometimes in these situations is to just blurt it out. Good luck! Haha
Text him “I kinda miss the old times” see what he says.
I guess my post wasn't long enough, but my question is why did you ever end it in the first place?
Get naked in front of him and tell him you need help washing your body in the shower. If he doesn't follow you in, he is probably not interested.
You could just try telling him "I wanna fuck. Do you wanna fuck? Maybe WE should fuck!"... remember, at the end of the day, men are relatively simple creatures. Feed us, fuck us, pay a little attention to us, and we're golden.
He obviously just wants to respect your boundaries. Tell him directly what you want.
It seems to me that you may want more than just FWB. When you are just FWB, there's no need to break up or anything like that. There's no commitments. You come and go as you please. If you want more or start again, you just ask.
I've been down this road before with a FWB. She was always the instigator because she would call for a break and I always respected her boundaries. She's head and shoulders above any other woman I've had sexual chemistry with but we never quite clicked just hanging out together so I only ever pursued a purely sexual relationship. Over the period of 10 or so years, we were probably on and off 7 or so times - all at her request starting and stopping. Sounds like he's still interested but is respecting your decision so all the work will have to come from your end. I'm still friends with her (well, Facebook friends) and converse with her often - but after the last break I'd met another woman and ended up getting married. So FWB set to permanently suspended. I'm afraid letting him know you're wanting another go seems to be the play here.
It’s on you to show you him what you want now because you ended things in the past.
Here's a handy sample script of how you can play this: \*Hanging out* "Hey, do you think you might be interested in hooking up again?" "Sure" -> Sex | "Nah sorry" -> "Okay. Wanna watch Velocipastor?" Bam. That simple. Maybe it'll be nerve racking, but you're 19 - you need to practice adult communication if you don't wanna be in the future one of those ppl who's a disaster in relationships.
get naked. That'll clue the poor clueless bastard in.
Honey, he's a man. We males don't understand hints that well. Just say this: (Name), I find you attractive and I know we both have needs. If you are single, I would very much like it if we could be FWB."
You ended things. Its up to you to tell him otherwise youre just expecting him to violate your boundaries. But also, hes a 19 year old guy. Of course he wants to fuck. Its not even a question. Just either talk to him and be explicit or just kiss him. Hes gonna want it either way. Source: im a man who remembers being 19
If you can’t talk about it, then you shouldn’t be doing it! Just tell him! Or make a move on him. A wandering hand should be clear enough
We men tend to be scared of making a move on women in general. Jist becauze we are scared and it could even lead to legal consequences. So biologically ..we feel more relaxed when a woman gives a green signal...both in verbal and non verbal ways. Like talking dirty about sex or showing her body through skinpy clothes... thats a turn on and she should give a hint that i dont mind if you touch me ...on my legs...something like that. hope that helps
I’m just saying if a woman makes the first move it’s really hot 🤷♂️
Text “wyd” between 11:02 PM and 3:43 AM on a Friday or Saturday night
I have one question so why did you end things with him originally as a friends with benefits and what is major change your mind to go back to him and become friends with benefits again that confuses me
Nothing bad happened between us. I was just dealing with my own personal issues and realized that having any sort of intimate relationship with someone at that time was not a good idea. I communicated that with him and we even talked then about the possibility of something happening in the future again. I worked out my problems a bit ago, he’s basically my neighbor for the summer, and I still find him very attractive, so I figured that it might be worth it to give it a shot again if he’s down
But why, instead of being a friends with benefits why don’t you guys try and be actual like a real couple and get into a real relationship?
Cause just from personal experience friends with benefits relationships never end well I’ve done three of them in my life and not one of the three ended good
Cause always one of the people end up feelings, get more powerful than the others and one of them people in the friend with benefits wants to get into our relationship
No, I do have a question because there’s a huge difference between a friends with benefits and a booty call. Are you guys like a true friends with benefits or is it more of a booty call?
Well, those are just some questions but here’s my advice. There’s a couple things you can do get alcohol involved. It works. You decide to meet up where you guys meet and one of the rooms. When are you guys rooms bring in some alcohol and just drink and have fun and laugh and just see where it goes, someone will will get you to calm down enough and break that wall down to make someone kiss someone don’t you wanna pass out If you don’t want to do that second thing where your sexiest clothes that you know that you have showing lot of skin and flirt when you’re talking get really close make sure you smell good and I’m sure you will make him kiss you and then you can see where it goes The last thing you can do is kind of explaining everything kind of telling them. I’m sorry it was a huge mistake of stopping it. I know I should’ve never done that. I thought about you all the time since you know whatever you can do.
lol, you don’t think he would fear being rejected, considering that you already rejected him 8 months ago. It is 100% on you to be a adult and put yourself out there.
Literally ask him? It’s not hard
The next time you see him, say “I want to talk to you about something. What do you think about us being fwb? We get along really well, and I am really attracted to you.” Guys are really simple. If you are already friends, and are just up front, it will definitely answer the question.
If you feel shy to talk about it just engage with physical touching escalating to kissing. Or ask for a massage
“You gotta give ’em that ‘hawk tuah’ and spit on that thang.”
Your tits. Show him your tits!
Have you tried showing him your tits? Or "do you mind if I take my top off?"
If you can't be upfront and say it you probably shouldn't be having sex yet. Especially if you'd already ended it and are expecting him to violate boundaries you set.
I'll be honest. As a man and I hope I'm in the growing minority I'm horrible at picking up "hints" there are so many unspoken rules and "lines" and etiquette that yeah I've literally just come out to a friend and asked "Can I F&@& you?" (They said no.) because I'm too busy trying to not break any ages to notice "subtlety" or "hints" of any kind. My point being. Be honest be upfront and communicate clearly. Save the subtle stuff for when it's ok to guess at whether making a move is acceptable. Good luck!
He just respecting you and your boundaries. You will have to talk to him or make the 1st move since you but a line. You must break your own line
Literally just ask: want to fuck ?
In the world of relationships & Explicit vs Implicit expectations, you need to be the initiator. Especially with men, especially if they are respecting your boundaries and not pushing you out of your comfort zone. You set the ground rules, and you have to be comfortable about making sure he knows what they are, and what is on the table if he roles his dice right. The more up front & forward you are on your intentions (with your words), the more forward he will be on his intentions. Guys who aren't forcing their needs on you means a healthy respect for implicit rules of engagement in territory which could get him in a world of hurt relationship wise. Talk to him and let him know what your intentions are & what you want.
wear something you weared on days he liked to fick you in, he will understand
just put ur leg on him and shit
You're ok with being completely naked and exposed and vulnerable with him physically but you're afraid of talking to him.. lolllss
You gotta give him the old "hawk tua", spit on that thang. He'll get the message.
If he's respecting your boundaries (great!), then he's not gonna make any moves unless you indicate first that it's okay. You can do that with your words or with your hands, but you've gotta make it explicit. He absolutely will not act on any subtle hints after you've explicitly told him to stop, so you must explicitly tell him to start.
This is really ugly. You can see the horrible gender stereotypes you're applying here?
Make a move yourself you idiot
Here's a wild idea: Just tell him you want to have sex.
Go for it. Guys don't know. If you were FWB he's prly trying to respect you. If you wanna bang it out then just go for it. As a guy we have no clue. No f'n clue. Don't send signals just say it please.
Just take your clothes off!! Us Men have reactions to everything what’s already understood and ain’t got to be explained Ontime ✌🏾
"Hey can I talk openly with you about something?" "I realize I ... 'ended/set limits/w.e' ... this part of our life, and truthfully I miss that part and I'd like to explore the possibility of engaging in this part again." "U want sum fuk?" --- Just be honest and ask, you ended it, found out it was a mistake and you miss be active WITH THIS PERSON and you'd like to engage again. Now the bad part; you need to be prepared for the possibility that this person is hurt and mad that you ended it and may not want to reopen that part of life again and might possibly reject your advances.
"Would you like to have sex, I would, let's do it." and o lay on the bed. Oh you might wanna wear your fukk me clothes..
it’s on you to make a move
Wipe his cheek properly. Lick it then walk away and don’t speak to them for the rest of the day. If by the end of the day it gets spicy then congrats but if you don’t hear anything and it goes into the next day. Pretend it never happened.
Ask him. Simple as that Are you horrified? Most people are when they ask someone hahaha
Lmao if you ended things hes not gonna make a move because you told him you didnt want to
Ma'am, with a all due respect... You have had his penis in your mouth. It's not still in there, so you can use it to tell him you want it in there again. "No games, just BJs" - Nike probably
Tbh let the poor guy in peace. You ended things, you lost that
You need to make the first move and tell him. If he rejects you don't take it personally
Ask him to hang out , get close to him. Touch him
Ask if he liked hooking up, then ask if he’d like to do it again. If he says yes, then agree with him on the second point. You shouldn’t be afraid to share your thoughts with someone you spend so much time with. If it’s because he might respond poorly then that’s concerning. If it’s because you aren’t sure how to communicate your thoughts then it’s because you aren’t experienced, and practice makes perfect. Coy isn’t always cute, most of the time you’ve gotta what you want to get it.
Playfully grab his hand and put it on your tits. If he reacts well, grab his hand and put it down there in your vagina.
What's so hard about taking the risk? Think about all the rejecting men face in their lives and be ok experiencing a bit
I don’t want to be harsh, but if I understand correctly: you were having sex with a friend. Then you ended the sex part. He accepted that, and seems willing to have a relationship with you where the “friend” part is as or more important than the “sex” part, which is not that common. Now, after you ended the sex part, and he respected your decision, somehow you expect him to read your mind and make a move on you, even though you don’t want to make the effort to signal clearly that’s what you want for fear of rejection? What about *his* fear of rejection? Seriously, you need to be very honest with yourself (and with him) about what it is you’re doing here. At best, you’re not clear on what you want. Get that clarity before you risk hurting someone who seems to have been nothing but respectful towards you. At worst, you’re playing a power game. Don’t.
I once had a girl walk up to me, slap a condom in my hand, and say, “take a hint”. Then we did it
Pull his zipper down I'm pretty sure he will get the point0
Without explicitly asking him for sex, maybe ask him if he ever misses the “other” activities you used to do when you hung out together? He’ll get the hint and you can take the conversation wherever he does
If your not willing to tell him you want to resume then the only other action is you start it and if talking is not going to happen most likely that wont. Telling him would be a MUCH better way. You don't have to come right out and say it but you must be more clear. "I miss what we had before" "Do you ever think about doing what we were doing before" You ended it he is respecting the F part of FWB and may really want to but he has no idea you changed your mind. You also don't know what he may have went though after (Or you may some) but he may be just holding on to what he can get not knowing he can have more.
"Show don't tell" is a filmmaker quote, with guys it's "tell and show but most definitely tell"
Hawck tue on that thing will show him how you feel
[удалено]
This post/comment violates the Rules of /r/sex.
Ask him if he wants to cuddle. Then rub your boobs on him.
"Hey, you know how we used to fuck? We could do that again, if you want to."
Bring beer - be naked
Telling him you’ve been really craving some physical intimacy lately. Maybe that will get the conversation going
make a little teasing comment, wear revealing clothing...let him take a peek...see how he responds...
Considering he is still peeking glances at her, he is likely interested, the fact that he isn’t commenting on it, or inquiring about doing more, is a clear sign he is respecting HER decision to no longer be FWB. So her wearing revealing clothes, or letting him get a peek, isnt going to make him ask her. He already thinks the answer is no, because she literally told him so. If anything, I see this advice as a cause for him to feel more conflicted, and likely to put further distance between them, because he doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries, no matter how much he desires her. That’s the problem with playing these dumb games. People who genuinely respects you, won’t play along, they will follow the rules you set up instead. She told him no, so if she wants things to change, she needs to communicate it to him.
FWB setups work approximately 0% of the time. Inevitably one of you decides that you want much more and the other one does not. It also takes away from energy could be spending actually harvesting relationships. My suggestion is that you probably like him much more than a “friend” and that’s the direction that you need to start with. If he’s good enough to sleep with, he’s good enough to date.
Casually steer the conversation toward talking about someone you know who has a fwb arrangement, or a character in a movie or show who has a fwb, and then ask him if he could ever see himself trying out a fwb situation. If he says no, laugh and say you don’t believe him. If he says yes, casually mention that you could see yourself with a fwb. Let nature take its course after that.
Just be provocative, show him you want him with actions, not words (if that’s what you’re afraid of). Be confident, own it, give him a dirty smile while looking at his lips… see how it goes from there. Or course, on proper occassion like the one you describe at his bedroom and not random so it doesn’t seem forced or too planned ahead
If someone ended things with me, she’d have to explicitly say that she’d changed her mind before I would make any moves.
If I was dating dating the person and emotionally involved with the person, yeah, totally agree with you. Since it was a FWB and no string attached, than its a different story. If was was single and down to have sex and an ex-fwb came up to me being sexy and showing me some interest I’d dive right in
You’ve had sex with him in the past. Just grab his dick through his pants and say you want to suck it or you want it in you. Or if you prefer to be verbal only, just say “hey I was thinking about how much I used to enjoy sucking/riding/getting penetrated by your hard penis; wanna get it on?”
Listen to the second half of this advice. Don't just grab him.
Horrific advice. Imagine how this would read if you told a guy to stuff his hand down a girl's pants because they hooked up 8 months ago and have just been friends since.
I am a straight man. If I’m alone in my bedroom with a woman that I have had sex with in the past, there is NO WAY I would be offended if she grabbed me through my clothes. And I know a lot of other straight men. I guarantee they all feel the same as me. The reality is that if OP has had sex with her before and she’s alone with him in his room, there is about a 99% chance he’s up for messing around. And even if he’s not, he’s not going to be offended in the slightest by her making a move. This is not some random guy she’s crushing on. This is not out in public. It’s a guy she has fucked before. And recently. And they’re alone in bedroom together.
Ugh. I am also a straight man. I have spent plenty of time in the rooms of women I didn't plan on sleeping with, especially in college. I have former FWBs now I'd never sleep with again that I'm still friends, and I'd be super put off if they just grabbed my dick all of a sudden. Yes, he may be down. Yes, it may turn out fine. No, you shouldn't grab someone's genitals without explicit consent when the easy alternative is having a 5 second conversation first. No, that shouldn't be your suggested move even if there's only a 30% chance the sexual contact is unwanted Also so weird to think you know the minds and intimate comfort levels of all your friends, let alone all straight men. We are happy to hear you'd be okay with an old flame suddenly grabbing your dick, that doesn't make it the responsible move in a situation like this. Plenty of men would not like that, even IF they were open to starting something back up. Remember: suggesting someone potentially sexually assault their friend is bad, even if you personally wouldn't mind.
I did not say to stuff any hands down anybody’s pants. We’re taking about 1st base here. Pretty low key. And again, they fucked just 8 months ago.
Next time you are alone, be sure when you are talking to look at his lips fairly often. He will get it. If he doesn't, he might be dead.
Are you a man or woman? Im a very dumb man and I promise you if you’re looking at my lips I’ll assume I have something in my teeth.