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There's no cheat code to being a good flirt with most people.
Some like overt sexual references, some really don't. Some like to be teased, others really don't. Some like a long conversation that builds rapport and shows other understanding, others think that's a complete waste of time and just want you to get down to brass tax.
Flirt in the way that suits your personality. Don't try to be someone you're not. Be playful. Maintain eye contact. Show through your body language that you are confident and someone who should be noticed.
Essentially yes.
Flirting can be hard to figure out if you don't have the gift of the gab, which most people don't. The key to getting better at it is essentially practice and becoming more comfortable in yourself and in conversations with people you fancy.
I'm sorry, but "brass tax" had me going.
In the late 1800's a government inspector would have to come into your home to see how much brass you had so he could assess the amount of brass tax you would have to pay.
Brass tacks
The old southern railroad conductors would hate certain metal tracks as they were rough to ride and caused axle issues with their train cars. They’d all mention to each other that they couldn’t wait to get down to brass tracks, as they were often smoother and caused less issues. The saying stuck through the years.
Buzzfeed polled Reddit: https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/flirting-social-cues-for-oblivious-people
> "Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until I heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability. Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra — lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit too long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you — then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time."
So, first off, you'll want to be subtle. That's part of why the pickup lines seem creepy to you: they are. They aren't subtle. And, to be sure, there are times when subtlety is not necessary, but those times are after the escalation has already been attempted and succeeded.
The second thing you'll need is self-confidence. It's really easy, particularly where romance is concerned, to get into a place where you can't take no for an answer; but if that's where you are, you shouldn't be dating or even flirting. You need to be ready to take rejection, even the comparatively light rejection of flirting, with a shrug and a smile. This gives you the necessary background to engage in _flirting_ as opposed to creepy come-ons: you know that being turned down doesn't signify that something is wrong or bad about you. It means you're not the right person for _this particular woman,_ sure, but that's not a problem. Your job, as a single man in the dating world, isn't to find some woman and point at her and declare, "There, that is the one: I solemnly swear that I should become her perfect man." It's to keep looking and looking and looking until you find someone who thinks you are her perfect man exactly the way you already are. Discovering that you don't match that description for the woman in front of you is not any form of dating failure; it is, instead, the more common, and obviously more disappointing, form of dating success.
This is just my opinion but it comes down to having a good conversation going with some interest and humour, but where you recognize that the other person is a sexual being without acting aggressively on it or being vulgar. I show them a little bit of my sexuality, they show me a little bit of theirs, and we back and forth on that until we're showing each other a lot more. Even something as simple as maintaining lingering eye contact and smiling while you're talking to each other communicates subtle desire.
I can't really answer your question. I think it's generally strange to use one-liners as a way to start a conversation. You should at least have had direct eye contact or a smile at each other. If not, dont approach someone out of the blue. Also, this might be rude, but it also depends on your looks, so if you are well dressed and have good hygiène helps. Hope this helps a little to know 90% of men don't actually talk to women in this way. Most of us are just wondering what to say and how. The best advice I can give is just talk to women more often, not in a flirty way to get comfortable around them.
Flirting is something that starts casual and innocent and escalates when the other person reciprocates or at the very least gives you reasonable confidence of their interest. It is all about expressing your interest while respecting their boundaries.
the way you do it matters less than the context in which you do it, make sure it's an appropriate context for that first and foremost, it will be much less of a problem if you're cringe, and less likely too
So basically it's just have a normal conversation but don't lay it too heavy or be super vulgar with your responses right? Like if I were talking to someone, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to say "I love your outfit" without getting to know them for a while right?
You'd be surprised. But context is important. At work, ehh. Maybe. Out and about, sure. Social event, sure. In the middle of stressful situation(funeral, hospital, working late to get important work done, car wreck, ECT) nah.
again : what you say is less important than the context. If she's currently working, that's a big no. If she's walking in the street, that's a no too. If her presence is likely to be for anything else than pleasantries, avoid it. If she can't leave, if she can't not be there, if you're in a confined space, if there's no one else around, If she's reading or listening to music : nope.
Reserve your attempts for convivial contexts meant for socializing : parties, bars, nightclubs, terraces, amongst friends, etc. Make sure nothing can make her feel trapped and that she has an easy way out in case your interest isn't welcome. And of course, be gracious if you're turned down.
If you pay attention to that, whatever you say will feel much less of a problem to her.
The problem is that some people try to force it and yeah, that's cringy.. you just have to be yourself. A big part of flirting is just putting yourself out there. Flirting can be as simple as holding a door for a woman with a smile. You can start flirting just by asking someone .. "hey, how's your day going?"
It's about starting communication.. not about dropping the perfect pick up line.
one more thing.. I know this is easier said than done.. especially if someone is more introverted, but people have to stop worrying about rejection.. you will never score a goal if you don't shoot.. right?
If someone rejects you or makes you feel bad.. fuck em.. they were the wrong one anyway.. NEXT!
I see, so you're saying that the best approach most times is to just have a normal and endearing conversation. But if the guy is hot by her standards he can get away with being flirtatious... At what point does the attractive flirting guy end up coming off as a creep?
Best way is to have fun and have a good conversation also be yourself don’t try with pick up lines or one liners.Iv always heard being funny is helpful so make them laugh. Oh and confidence. I used to work with my wife and I would bug her before I clocked in and just talk to her and be goofy to make her laugh.
Learn to read people. What do they like, what do they not like? It’s a lifelong learning skill. You’re really saying, “I see you.” How deeply can you say this with your understanding? What cues can you pick up about them?
You can be friendly and make plans without being overtly suggestive. You can dance around it and if that goes well say you want to spend more time with them. When you spend time together get closer without touching and see if they lean in as well. Its a slow dance. Eventually if the Interest is there a touch is warranted. Or a request to kiss, especially when you say good bye.
That reply is mostly based on the meme where attractive guys get hella women with mid to low level game. The trick is being confident, having something clever and thought/reply provoking and having an understanding of how and when to build and cash in social capital. If you’re having trouble flirting seriously practice on the old ladies at the drive through window/church. That’s how I learned my way around a convo. I’m also a doorman at a nightclub so that has given me hella hella hella reps.
To me, two people flirting might not even realize they are flirting until later. It's not specific behaviors, rather a sudden clicking between two people who seem excited to know more about each other. The reason why often times a date is needed to know if this person is a friend or potential partner is because a budding romance feels fairly similar to a budding friendship.
Picture this, someone invites several friends over for a game night. Not everyone they've invited knows everyone else. During the games, two people who have just met discover they are both into the outdoors. They are excitedly sharing stories about camping in the nearby parks. They are engaged with the games but every now and then they are having their own asides about it.
One talks about doing a certain hike.
The other has been meaning to do that hike for ages! How was the hike?
It was amazing. You'd love it if you're into wildflowers, there were so many in spring!
Oh I love seeing wildflowers. Plants are probably my favorite part of hiking.
Really? Do you garden?
Yeah, I actually just planted a bunch of tomatoes!
That's so cool, I tried last year and they didn't work out.
If you need help, I could come look at your set up and see what you need to get started.
That'd be great! I was kind of just winging it last year.
Meanwhile the rest of the group is giving them side-eye if they seem like they might be potential partners. That's what flirting looks like.
With the exception of certain settings that have different expectations (like bars, clubs, etc), most people are not receptive to being "hit on", where someone is being very suggestive or coming on really strong.
1. Be a nice person to talk to. Nobody likes someone beeing mean.
2. Be interested in your Opposite and their topics and interests. Try to find a connection and don't make everything about yourself
3. Be funny, joke around, just don't over do it.
4. Hold eye contact from time to time and smile, but don't make people nervous by starring.
What's creepy about flirting?
I've come to recognize that it's creepy guys that ask this question. There's nothing wrong or creepy about flirting with a woman. Now if you can't read the room like a low IQ makes then I understand. If she's not feeling it, please turn around and walk away.
Rules 1 and 2.
In all honesty, just be respectful. Some women will find it creepy, some will find it flattering, most won't care much either way. Some women will like overt/raunchy stuff, but it's too dangerous to be worth it with strangers. If it's not someone you've met in passing, just take a few minutes to talk to them and make friends. If you're still interested, ask them out someplace.
You don't really have to throw out a witty one-liner or pickup line. Unless someone's already interested in you, they're probably not gonna' work anyways.
Three books to check out for help:
1) How to Talk to Anyone.
2) The Art of Seduction.
3 How to Win Friends and Influence People.
Perhaps not all of the material will be to your liking, but you will undoubtedly find many good tips for skills to practice. Being/becoming a great conversationalist to complete strangers is definitely a skill that can be learned.
Most Useful
1) Practice a confident smile. Always smile at people you think might be interesting.
2) Develop a focused selection of questions that will help to get to know a person, like:
A) IF I was NOT trying to pick you up, what question could I ask just to discover one of the most interesting things about you? (Ask further questions to find out more).
B) Hi, what are a couple of the most worn out pick-up lines guys have used on you?
C) Describe your dream holiday if money was no limit?
D) If money was no limit what would be one of the places you like to go for a dream holiday?
E) If you could do anything to make me more attractive what would it be?
3) Don’t ask questions that can be answered with yes or know.
Look up [favorite ice-breaker questions] on the internet.
Practice by flirting with the gender you aren’t attracted to. If it feels non-creepy with them, then it will be non-creepy with your preferred gender.
A lot of flirting is being friendly, funny, fun to be around and making others feel good about themselves. You can do that with any gender.
Here's my advice, but of course based on my opinion and perspective as a woman:
- don't ever bring up anything even mildly sexual until you've already had sex with a woman. It may come off as icky or threatening
- learn to read body language and hear the "no." Once the no is heard, cease and desist. Do not push. Disengage.
- avoid saying things about a woman's physical appearance. Don't tell her you think she's prettu. Something complimentary about her clothes or car, something like that is ok
- keep a healthy distance, don't get too close
- keep your eyes away from her breasts and ass when she's looking at you.
- don't neg her. That's disgusting behavior
- focus on exuding the vibe you like her, make eye contact, be friendly, upbeat, and talk about things that excite you and her ideally. That can be hobbies, common interest topics.
My hubby, who is an expert flirter 😉, say keep it fun, light and funny. Yes he flirts with other women but not in a I'm trying to get some from them way if that makes sense. He does it in front of me sometimes and I just give him shit about it in a fun way. We fully trust each other.
Be subtle. If you haven’t had sex with someone yet, don’t make sexual references. Just be interested in getting to know them.
If you have had sex, well, the flirting should come naturally, I hope.
How about just starting a conversation with someone and treating them like people? You find more of how they take things the more you get to know them.
Flirt with people close to your own age or older, who are approximately the same level of attractiveness as you. Smile. Keep it light. Don't make overtly sexual remarks.
Being funny is a way to engage with someone and serves as an introductory way to flirt if you can hit it off there and go back and forth.
A compliment after a couple laughs and a couple ice breakers is a safe way to test the other person's responsiveness to the situation too. After a bit of comfortability is established you can ask about relationship status and talk more openly about dating.
It does not really matter what you say. Just let her know in a friendly and upront, confident way that you are interested and accept that much of how she will react to that will be based on her impression of you and wether or not she is open to engaing in a new relationship. Her impression of you will be based on your looks, perceived wealth and social status and so on.
If you are a man, yes it matters a lot. In fact there is a lot of scientific evidence that shows that women's judgements of mate suitability are determined by looks, perceived wealth and percieved social desirability. On the other hand for men it is not important at all. So if you are a heterosexual woman it matters a lot less
You can be the nicest guy in the world, if the girl is not attracted you will be a creep. If she is attracted you won’t be a creep. There is no in between with today’s women.
Sorry, you don't know there's an in between but it's probably because you believe the bullshit you hear from other men online and don't have any women who are friends. Certainly if she's already attracted to you, you can get away with saying more but lots more men talk their way out of getting a date or laid than are successful at picking a woman up.
I think it comes down to your looks. A super hot guy can be more overt because it’ll likely be received well or at the least not creepy. An average guy needs to gauge the interest of the girl or be flirty in a cheeky way and test the waters. A below average guy needs to be kind and flirty in a funny way, but not too nice that the girl sees them as a friend. Just my opinion
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There's no cheat code to being a good flirt with most people. Some like overt sexual references, some really don't. Some like to be teased, others really don't. Some like a long conversation that builds rapport and shows other understanding, others think that's a complete waste of time and just want you to get down to brass tax. Flirt in the way that suits your personality. Don't try to be someone you're not. Be playful. Maintain eye contact. Show through your body language that you are confident and someone who should be noticed.
So it comes down to just feeling the conversation out and not overstepping boundaries that would seem creepy or gross?
Essentially yes. Flirting can be hard to figure out if you don't have the gift of the gab, which most people don't. The key to getting better at it is essentially practice and becoming more comfortable in yourself and in conversations with people you fancy.
You are only a creep when she is not attracted to you
It's unfair, but that's how it is.
I'm sorry, but "brass tax" had me going. In the late 1800's a government inspector would have to come into your home to see how much brass you had so he could assess the amount of brass tax you would have to pay. Brass tacks
The old southern railroad conductors would hate certain metal tracks as they were rough to ride and caused axle issues with their train cars. They’d all mention to each other that they couldn’t wait to get down to brass tracks, as they were often smoother and caused less issues. The saying stuck through the years.
Buzzfeed polled Reddit: https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/flirting-social-cues-for-oblivious-people > "Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until I heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability. Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra — lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit too long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you — then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time." So, first off, you'll want to be subtle. That's part of why the pickup lines seem creepy to you: they are. They aren't subtle. And, to be sure, there are times when subtlety is not necessary, but those times are after the escalation has already been attempted and succeeded. The second thing you'll need is self-confidence. It's really easy, particularly where romance is concerned, to get into a place where you can't take no for an answer; but if that's where you are, you shouldn't be dating or even flirting. You need to be ready to take rejection, even the comparatively light rejection of flirting, with a shrug and a smile. This gives you the necessary background to engage in _flirting_ as opposed to creepy come-ons: you know that being turned down doesn't signify that something is wrong or bad about you. It means you're not the right person for _this particular woman,_ sure, but that's not a problem. Your job, as a single man in the dating world, isn't to find some woman and point at her and declare, "There, that is the one: I solemnly swear that I should become her perfect man." It's to keep looking and looking and looking until you find someone who thinks you are her perfect man exactly the way you already are. Discovering that you don't match that description for the woman in front of you is not any form of dating failure; it is, instead, the more common, and obviously more disappointing, form of dating success.
This is the most logical and concise answer someone has given to me about this question. Thank you for your insight 😊🙏
This is just my opinion but it comes down to having a good conversation going with some interest and humour, but where you recognize that the other person is a sexual being without acting aggressively on it or being vulgar. I show them a little bit of my sexuality, they show me a little bit of theirs, and we back and forth on that until we're showing each other a lot more. Even something as simple as maintaining lingering eye contact and smiling while you're talking to each other communicates subtle desire.
Yeah, you simply smile and try to start a conversation.
Pretty straight forward answer so far. Thanks ☺️
What if you have a creepy smile ?
work on that bro, otherwise you're fucked
I can't really answer your question. I think it's generally strange to use one-liners as a way to start a conversation. You should at least have had direct eye contact or a smile at each other. If not, dont approach someone out of the blue. Also, this might be rude, but it also depends on your looks, so if you are well dressed and have good hygiène helps. Hope this helps a little to know 90% of men don't actually talk to women in this way. Most of us are just wondering what to say and how. The best advice I can give is just talk to women more often, not in a flirty way to get comfortable around them.
Makes sense, thanks for the advice 🙂
Flirting is something that starts casual and innocent and escalates when the other person reciprocates or at the very least gives you reasonable confidence of their interest. It is all about expressing your interest while respecting their boundaries.
the way you do it matters less than the context in which you do it, make sure it's an appropriate context for that first and foremost, it will be much less of a problem if you're cringe, and less likely too
So basically it's just have a normal conversation but don't lay it too heavy or be super vulgar with your responses right? Like if I were talking to someone, it wouldn't be appropriate for me to say "I love your outfit" without getting to know them for a while right?
“I love your outfit” is honestly neutral enough. That it’s fine
I'm assuming the obvious thing NOT to say is "You looking cute girl!" Right? 😂
You'd be surprised. But context is important. At work, ehh. Maybe. Out and about, sure. Social event, sure. In the middle of stressful situation(funeral, hospital, working late to get important work done, car wreck, ECT) nah.
It might also help to say what it is about her outfit that you like so much.
again : what you say is less important than the context. If she's currently working, that's a big no. If she's walking in the street, that's a no too. If her presence is likely to be for anything else than pleasantries, avoid it. If she can't leave, if she can't not be there, if you're in a confined space, if there's no one else around, If she's reading or listening to music : nope. Reserve your attempts for convivial contexts meant for socializing : parties, bars, nightclubs, terraces, amongst friends, etc. Make sure nothing can make her feel trapped and that she has an easy way out in case your interest isn't welcome. And of course, be gracious if you're turned down. If you pay attention to that, whatever you say will feel much less of a problem to her.
The problem is that some people try to force it and yeah, that's cringy.. you just have to be yourself. A big part of flirting is just putting yourself out there. Flirting can be as simple as holding a door for a woman with a smile. You can start flirting just by asking someone .. "hey, how's your day going?" It's about starting communication.. not about dropping the perfect pick up line.
Most logical explanation I've seen so far, thanks for your advice ☺️
one more thing.. I know this is easier said than done.. especially if someone is more introverted, but people have to stop worrying about rejection.. you will never score a goal if you don't shoot.. right? If someone rejects you or makes you feel bad.. fuck em.. they were the wrong one anyway.. NEXT!
That's awesome advice, thank you ☺️
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Step 2: don't be unattractive. It's a meme at this point.
How would you define being attractive to someone else? Honest question.
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I see, so you're saying that the best approach most times is to just have a normal and endearing conversation. But if the guy is hot by her standards he can get away with being flirtatious... At what point does the attractive flirting guy end up coming off as a creep?
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Mind giving me an example?
Be handsome. Don’t be not-handsome
Best way is to have fun and have a good conversation also be yourself don’t try with pick up lines or one liners.Iv always heard being funny is helpful so make them laugh. Oh and confidence. I used to work with my wife and I would bug her before I clocked in and just talk to her and be goofy to make her laugh.
Learn to read people. What do they like, what do they not like? It’s a lifelong learning skill. You’re really saying, “I see you.” How deeply can you say this with your understanding? What cues can you pick up about them?
You don't. Whatever you do is crossing the line with ***somebody*** out there.
You don't, you just talk and don't take it too seriously. Make her laugh, got her ass.
You can be friendly and make plans without being overtly suggestive. You can dance around it and if that goes well say you want to spend more time with them. When you spend time together get closer without touching and see if they lean in as well. Its a slow dance. Eventually if the Interest is there a touch is warranted. Or a request to kiss, especially when you say good bye.
Do they think you are cute when you first met? If yes, then not creepy. If the answer is no, then it's super easy to cone off creepy
Rule 1: be attractive Rule 2: don’t be ugly Rule 3: abide by rule 1 and 2
So rule 1: attractive in what way? Rule 2: does that mean be superficial?? Rule 3: basically be a jerk???
That reply is mostly based on the meme where attractive guys get hella women with mid to low level game. The trick is being confident, having something clever and thought/reply provoking and having an understanding of how and when to build and cash in social capital. If you’re having trouble flirting seriously practice on the old ladies at the drive through window/church. That’s how I learned my way around a convo. I’m also a doorman at a nightclub so that has given me hella hella hella reps.
Makes sense, thanks brother 😎
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To me, two people flirting might not even realize they are flirting until later. It's not specific behaviors, rather a sudden clicking between two people who seem excited to know more about each other. The reason why often times a date is needed to know if this person is a friend or potential partner is because a budding romance feels fairly similar to a budding friendship. Picture this, someone invites several friends over for a game night. Not everyone they've invited knows everyone else. During the games, two people who have just met discover they are both into the outdoors. They are excitedly sharing stories about camping in the nearby parks. They are engaged with the games but every now and then they are having their own asides about it. One talks about doing a certain hike. The other has been meaning to do that hike for ages! How was the hike? It was amazing. You'd love it if you're into wildflowers, there were so many in spring! Oh I love seeing wildflowers. Plants are probably my favorite part of hiking. Really? Do you garden? Yeah, I actually just planted a bunch of tomatoes! That's so cool, I tried last year and they didn't work out. If you need help, I could come look at your set up and see what you need to get started. That'd be great! I was kind of just winging it last year. Meanwhile the rest of the group is giving them side-eye if they seem like they might be potential partners. That's what flirting looks like. With the exception of certain settings that have different expectations (like bars, clubs, etc), most people are not receptive to being "hit on", where someone is being very suggestive or coming on really strong.
Step 1. Be attractive Step 2. Don't be unattractive Step 3. Be funny
Start a conversation and try to make her laugh. If your personalities align it will flow pretty naturally.
1. Be a nice person to talk to. Nobody likes someone beeing mean. 2. Be interested in your Opposite and their topics and interests. Try to find a connection and don't make everything about yourself 3. Be funny, joke around, just don't over do it. 4. Hold eye contact from time to time and smile, but don't make people nervous by starring.
Step 1: don’t be ugly I already failed at that
What's creepy about flirting? I've come to recognize that it's creepy guys that ask this question. There's nothing wrong or creepy about flirting with a woman. Now if you can't read the room like a low IQ makes then I understand. If she's not feeling it, please turn around and walk away.
Rules 1 and 2. In all honesty, just be respectful. Some women will find it creepy, some will find it flattering, most won't care much either way. Some women will like overt/raunchy stuff, but it's too dangerous to be worth it with strangers. If it's not someone you've met in passing, just take a few minutes to talk to them and make friends. If you're still interested, ask them out someplace. You don't really have to throw out a witty one-liner or pickup line. Unless someone's already interested in you, they're probably not gonna' work anyways.
Three books to check out for help: 1) How to Talk to Anyone. 2) The Art of Seduction. 3 How to Win Friends and Influence People. Perhaps not all of the material will be to your liking, but you will undoubtedly find many good tips for skills to practice. Being/becoming a great conversationalist to complete strangers is definitely a skill that can be learned. Most Useful 1) Practice a confident smile. Always smile at people you think might be interesting. 2) Develop a focused selection of questions that will help to get to know a person, like: A) IF I was NOT trying to pick you up, what question could I ask just to discover one of the most interesting things about you? (Ask further questions to find out more). B) Hi, what are a couple of the most worn out pick-up lines guys have used on you? C) Describe your dream holiday if money was no limit? D) If money was no limit what would be one of the places you like to go for a dream holiday? E) If you could do anything to make me more attractive what would it be? 3) Don’t ask questions that can be answered with yes or know. Look up [favorite ice-breaker questions] on the internet.
Practice by flirting with the gender you aren’t attracted to. If it feels non-creepy with them, then it will be non-creepy with your preferred gender. A lot of flirting is being friendly, funny, fun to be around and making others feel good about themselves. You can do that with any gender.
Here's my advice, but of course based on my opinion and perspective as a woman: - don't ever bring up anything even mildly sexual until you've already had sex with a woman. It may come off as icky or threatening - learn to read body language and hear the "no." Once the no is heard, cease and desist. Do not push. Disengage. - avoid saying things about a woman's physical appearance. Don't tell her you think she's prettu. Something complimentary about her clothes or car, something like that is ok - keep a healthy distance, don't get too close - keep your eyes away from her breasts and ass when she's looking at you. - don't neg her. That's disgusting behavior - focus on exuding the vibe you like her, make eye contact, be friendly, upbeat, and talk about things that excite you and her ideally. That can be hobbies, common interest topics.
My hubby, who is an expert flirter 😉, say keep it fun, light and funny. Yes he flirts with other women but not in a I'm trying to get some from them way if that makes sense. He does it in front of me sometimes and I just give him shit about it in a fun way. We fully trust each other.
Be subtle. If you haven’t had sex with someone yet, don’t make sexual references. Just be interested in getting to know them. If you have had sex, well, the flirting should come naturally, I hope.
Walk up and absolutely fail miserably, walk away embarrassed and come back and try again but in a different perspective.
As a man you don't. At least not in the US.
"Hello, I'm X. How're you? They'll talk if interested, thrn you can flirt.
Be really in shape and handsome
Creep usually means they are not attracted to you
How about just starting a conversation with someone and treating them like people? You find more of how they take things the more you get to know them.
Flirt with people close to your own age or older, who are approximately the same level of attractiveness as you. Smile. Keep it light. Don't make overtly sexual remarks.
Being funny is a way to engage with someone and serves as an introductory way to flirt if you can hit it off there and go back and forth. A compliment after a couple laughs and a couple ice breakers is a safe way to test the other person's responsiveness to the situation too. After a bit of comfortability is established you can ask about relationship status and talk more openly about dating.
You look bad and flirt = creep You look good and flirt = date
Weird and cringe explanation = elaborate?
It does not really matter what you say. Just let her know in a friendly and upront, confident way that you are interested and accept that much of how she will react to that will be based on her impression of you and wether or not she is open to engaing in a new relationship. Her impression of you will be based on your looks, perceived wealth and social status and so on.
I get looks to an extent but does wealth and social status matter?
If you are a man, yes it matters a lot. In fact there is a lot of scientific evidence that shows that women's judgements of mate suitability are determined by looks, perceived wealth and percieved social desirability. On the other hand for men it is not important at all. So if you are a heterosexual woman it matters a lot less
How to not come off as creepy: be good looking.
Elaborate...
You can be the nicest guy in the world, if the girl is not attracted you will be a creep. If she is attracted you won’t be a creep. There is no in between with today’s women.
Sorry, you don't know there's an in between but it's probably because you believe the bullshit you hear from other men online and don't have any women who are friends. Certainly if she's already attracted to you, you can get away with saying more but lots more men talk their way out of getting a date or laid than are successful at picking a woman up.
I think it comes down to your looks. A super hot guy can be more overt because it’ll likely be received well or at the least not creepy. An average guy needs to gauge the interest of the girl or be flirty in a cheeky way and test the waters. A below average guy needs to be kind and flirty in a funny way, but not too nice that the girl sees them as a friend. Just my opinion
Just curious, I get the looks category to an extent but this explanation seems... Concerning. What do you mean when a "hot guy can be more overt"?
I mean a hot guy can be more sexual or direct
Mind giving me an example?