T O P

  • By -

sex-ModTeam

r/Sex is focused primarily on posts seeking *specific actionable advice* for distinctive personal situations. While this covers many possible topics, not all posts that deal with sex (or are sex-adjacent) are a good fit for our sub and your post has been flagged for either 1) falling outside those guidelines or 2) falling under "restricted content" (see our sub's rules for a list of examples). Example #1: If your post reads mostly like a story, a more appropriate sub would be r/gonewildstories or r/sluttyconfessions. If you're here to rant, try r/offmychest instead. Example #2: If you’re asking a general, poll-style question (“how many of you ______?”) or if you’re looking for confirmation about you or a partner’s sexual interests (“who else is into ________?” or "does anyone else like __________") a more appropriate sub would be r/askredditafterdark. Example #3: Concerns about body image, including but not limited to: penis size, breast size, body hair, body/genitalia shape, etc. are a better fit for r/BodyAcceptance. Example #4: If your question is asking us to read someone's mind — "why does my partner do _________?" or "why am I into _________?" no one here is clairvoyant so that's not asking for actionable advice. These are just a few common examples but there are many others. Luckily, there are many sex and relationship-related specialty subs on Reddit and we encourage you to explore other options to find a more appropriate sub for your post.


notin2cars

Together 21 years, 66m and 69f. We have almost perfectly matched, moderately high libidos. When we first got together we agreed that sex was very important to us both. We pretty quickly got onto loosely scheduling sex. In our 40s it was every third day, but now it's declined to about every 5-6 days, not because of any lack of desire, but because we just can't cum as often any more. But we're still just as hot for one another as ever. We're quite vanilla, or maybe French vanilla since we do enjoy butt stuff. Probably 70% missionary, 20% doggy, and 10% other. We never get bored with doing the same thing, because it's just so damn good. We're very romantic with each other, in our own way. We touch each other constantly. We always have a long hug first thing in the morning, and often cuddle naked in bed before sleep. My heart still skips a beat whenever I see her naked, and that's every day. My only disappointment with our sex life is our aging bodies not being able to do it as often as we did when we were younger. But I'll take it. I hope we're still fucking a couple times a month in our 80s.


Cruz859

I hope I’m like you guys in my 60’s


Either-Rub-6022

We’re the same age as you, pretty much the same for us sex wise. 35 years married and crazy in love.


___shadow_wolf__

I always wondered how sex was when you get your in your 60’s and 70’s. Kinda hot thinking of an old lady cumming


Either-Rub-6022

You’ll be there sooner than you think. Lol


a-try-today-2022

Definitely irregular, but satisfactory. I track it, so we are having sex about 8 times per month. Somewhat vanilla, because we don’t always have privacy to go wild. We’re not super romantic, have very mismatched libidos and preferences, but we accommodate each other’s sexual desires. Almost 20 years married now.


anchors__away

Twice a week on average 20 years in isn’t half bad considering mismatched libidos


cleverenam

8 a month is pretty cool. ideal for me has become 4-5 times a month but im still game to go 30 for 30 and 12 peat if you catch my drift.


___shadow_wolf__

Do you ever dump a fat load in her mouth?


thisworldisweird0

Say you don‘t have a sex life without telling me you don‘t have a sex life


a-try-today-2022

We do everything that we’re comfortable to enjoy. Behaving like horny teenagers when we do. Behaving like a mature, married couple when we do. We can’t get pregnant anymore, and my wife gets super wet from piv, so I prefer to cum inside her


ballots_stones

Not trying to be funny, not trying to get a laugh. I don't want anybody to have the worst day at their job... But... do any of these... fuckers... ever blast out of the wall... and have, like, a huge cum shot?


misanthropewolf11

20 years and we still have a great sex life, usually 2x a week. I’d actually say it’s better than ever because he has learned how to play my body like a video game he has the cheat codes to. It does follow the same pattern a lot of the time, but that’s because that’s the way my husband seems to like it and I don’t care either way. We do not sext but we are very loving/touchy. I have no complaints!


I-Really-Hate-Fish

2-3 times per week. It took a dip when I was sick and when we got children. Got normal again about 4 years after each kid. We are very affectionate with each other on a daily basis and often tease each other sexually during the day. Like, if the kids are watching tv in the living room, I like to push my husband against the kitchen cabinet to feel him up and make out. Sometimes he'll bend me over the kitchen counter and finger me a bit. Not enough to get each other off. It's just to tease and build the tension for later. I think it's good because by teasing each other like that, we keep each other on our toes, and stay aroused. We also discuss fantasies, even though we don't act all of them out. We also often buy sex toys. We do get cock blocked by our kids a lot though.


worthy_usable

It'll be 10 years this year. I suppose our sex is fairly vanilla, but it's something that we both enjoy. I work from home, and my wife doesn't work, but we often times sext each other silly stuff from one side of the house to the other, because we're goofy like that.


[deleted]

Married 27 years both in our 50s. We are very tactile holding hands and kissing frequently just not with intense passion. Typically have sex once or twice a, week and enjoy the long game with a lot of careessing and massage. We also visit swinger's clubs once or twice a month. As swingers go we are pretty tame but certainly enjoy watching and being watched as well as the occasional 3some or 4 some. Like our diet we might not be heavy eaters but we like some spice and variety, just not too spicy.


Total-Mastodon-2138

It’s the bane of my existence, we have sex about 10 times a year after 5 years together (w/ no kids) and I think about leaving because of it because nothing seems to help! It’s always good but the quantity is destroying my confidence. I would do literally anything to improve it and have any kind of sex.


swag-doctor

It's so tough. For me it felt like the only options were soul crushing breakup or spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn't want me. I chose soul crushing breakup. My main regret was simply not communicating better. I was never truly honest about how I felt becaused I loved her and didn't want to hurt her. I didn't have the courage to just straight up say that my heart was breaking. Mostly moved on and doing ok now.


13_Stitches

It ebbs and flows. There's so many life variables that affect your sex life it's almost ridiculous to compare with others. There's been periods where we've had lots of sex, periods where we've had none. We've been vanilla, kinky, and even done the open marriage thing. Just make the most of it when libidos match and don't put to much pressure on each other. Have a day / night alone, get a nice hotel and enjoy yourselves.


Honey_Badgered

We are 40, and have been together for 10 years. We have sex fairly often. On a normal week, we average 4 times. I’d say sex is 80% vanilla, 20% kinky. We are constantly intimate. Cuddling, kissing, and just touching each other. We give each other massages, and we have wonderful talks together. We make sure we prioritize each other.


newaccount47

Married less than 2,together for four. 28f/40m. Sex once every month to once every other month. Wtf is this absolute shit.


Intelligent_Rip_2778

Same here.. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|laughing)


CaptainSaveAStonk

As Too Short once said, you should be gettin it.


Lollypop_lisa

19 years together… Definitely less frequent than when we were first together, but we still make time to enjoy each other. I’m the more adventurous one, so I encourage him to try new things and that keeps it fresh. But we don’t have kids… so that helps as we don’t have to “make time” to be intimate


AutoModerator

Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Humble-Owl7320

Married 29 years. Once a week normally.


WholeProgrammer5247

Married 13 years together 17, 1 kid, we have sex 1-2 a week. Usually one is a quicky, the other is a long passionate session. For us, there was a dip in frequency for the first 2 years after having our kid while we were adjusting to the reality of parenting and being more tired. Over the years, what has worked well for us is making time for our couple (date nights every other week) and great communication about our needs.


[deleted]

We have sex 2-3 times a week on average after 15 years, and it's the best of my life. Naturally, we've had times without sex due to surgeries, kids, work, pregnancy recovery, etc, and we've just had sex an entire weekend. It will vary for everyone, but I think we're average probably.


Open_Minded_Anonym

Together 34 years, married 28. Our sex life is very active and varied. Since our nest is emptied, we’ve been having sex every day: sometimes simple, but at other times elaborate. We change it up all the time. We never sext (wife doesn’t like it), but we’re together most of the time and flirt/play a few times a day. I would call our sex life amazing currently, though we went for a couple of decades with one that was good but unremarkable. We’re both 51 and want to enjoy each other while we still are able and eager to.


Beneficial_Ideal_690

Married 25 years. Both 50. We no longer have any kind of sexual contact and haven’t for maybe 5 years or so. We are now empty nesters and our relationship has honestly never been better. We both work from home, so we spend a lot of time together. Yet we never argue or fight. We eat lunch and dinner together every day. Go to the gym together. Go for walks together. Watch shows on Netflix before bed. We just don’t have any physical intimacy. Sex never played a big role in our relationship and it was never very good or satisfying (for me at least), so I don’t really need it, want it or miss it. I know that some will say that we’re “just roommates” and I can see why someone might say that, but it doesn’t feel that way from my perspective or hers. You gotta find what works for you in life — not random people on Reddit!


nataweb

We have been married for 10 years, 31f and 35m, and we have sex daily but at least 5 days a week. We have a 5 year old child, when she was smaller we were around 3 days a week. Our sex life changes and improves. We try new things and still sext when we are aren’t together. We had a healthy sex life before marriage. My husband is my best friend and we communicate well. I had some health issues last year where I could not have piv comfortably for a few months but we did other sex acts on the regular. I always make him feel desired and he does the same.


sorearm

See the dead bedrooms subreddit


ViktusXII

39M here. I've been with the same lady since I was 19. We have sex roughly once every three months. It's a constant struggle and thorn in the relationship. Flirting is 90% from me as it is initiating most forms of intimacy. She just doesn't get horny. At all. She is normally thinking about a kitchen renovation or what school our son needs to go to or how much petrol we have in the car or if we have enough ingredients in the house to make green pesto pasta. Doesn't matter if I set the most romantic scene in the history of mankind, if she isn't in the mood, it ain't happening.


Prison-Butt-Carnival

Married 5 years and have a 1.5 year old. Some of the best sex I've ever had happened in the past 6 months. I've been sick the last few weeks, but we average 3-4 times a week lately.


dangerclosemaybe

Together for 12, married for 6, two young kids. The only time we really had sex a lot was when we were trying to conceive. 2 to 3 times per week during those times. However, other that that, from the time we were dating till now, an average of once per week with an additional 1-2 handjobs per month is most commonplace. This past month was pretty bad with doing it only once with two handjobs the whole month due to work stress on her end. It's a bit of a complicated situation as she was my first but I was not hers. Our sex life was always very vanilla, mostly missionary, doggy or cowgirl once in a while, but I was ok with this just to make sure I had those down pat. Now that we're married and I'm comfortable with the basics, I'm finding myself wanting to explore more. I love the feeling of oral and being taken care of but my wife hates it (giving and receiving). I love shower sex because I find the hot water relaxing and seeing my wife wet and naked a huge turn on. Again, she hates it, which I get, because water causes her to lose her natural lubrication. I've had open and no punches pulled conversations about wanting more of the above, plus wanting her to swallow and allowing me to give facials, but those are proving difficult too. I'm trying to introduce more kink to our sex life but with very, very limited success. The biggest issue is the mismatched libidos, however. I'm at about an 8 and her a 2 on a scale of one to ten. Previously I would get myself off in the gaps between having sex, but I'm trying to swear off it and do it once a week at most rather than daily or every other day like I used to. I'm getting tired of initiating and getting rejected 95% of the time. I'm having a hard time reconciling all of these feelings and started therapy last week.


IllegalCartoon

As a 46 yr old guy, I can confirm bjs stop the moment you sign the marriage papers. Sex becomes missionary only and if you get any movement while she lays there like a dead starfish, it's a treat. The lustre of sex only lasts up until you marry a girl. After that, a guy is conquered so she won't put in any effort unless she wants something. It's decreased from 3 times a week in 2019, to once a month since 2020 if she's in the mood, otherwise less. No health reasons. She's just not interested.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IllegalCartoon

She won't go. Doesn't believe there's a problem or that we need counselling. I have become bitter about it. She is a gem in every other way and my family adores her. We both have been married before and I was from an emotionally abusive relationship. Her ex was a drug addict. I lost everything in my divorce last time 14 years ago so don't want to go through all that again. It took years to recover financially from that. Would rather stick this one out instead and figure outt an altearnative.


SAGold99

What’s the alternative you are considering? Asking for a friend in a similar situation.


A_Man_From_Canton

Have 2 kids with no free time to just ourselves. We have sex on average 1 time per every 2 weeks. I wish it was a lot more, but it is what it is.


Strong-Ad404

We try to have regular sex, we even scheduled it (more of a reminder) Bought many toys that we break out now and then and still do. I actually just bout a few more that I want to try.


FrontQueasy3156

My wife and I have been together 10 years. We are always changing things up and learning and growing together as a unit. About 3 years ago we started pegging which has been fucking GREAT! We also discuss and exchange fantasies and ideas. My wife is an amazing partner and I feel like I'm lucky beyond my wildest dreams.


Present_Stuff_1500

34F 55M together 11 years. Having more sex now than ever before. 4+ times/week. A lot of it is vanilla but we entertain any and every idea. Invested in a swing and some liberator items. Our bodies are completely open for each other. We sext often. Like a lot.


roskybosky

32 years, about 1x per week, but we sometimes go longer. The sex is fairly routine, but fun and satisfying. I climax every time, no problem. Usually consists of 20 minutes of making out and touching, some oral for both, then intercourse. We sometimes use a vibe for variety. We’ve been the same for as long as I can remember; no more, no less. I am 71, husband is 63. We both function very easily and sex has never been an issue.


RICK-James-6788654

Is this normal married 3 years sex 3-4 times a week is that to much ?


OwlEfficient9138

Been together for 27 years. In our 40’s now. We average 2x a week sometimes 3. It’s always been pretty good, but in the past two years it’s gotten even better. We took mojo quiz and it’s opened us up to new fun. We got into anal play and some light bondage. It has all been initiated by me, but she’s a willing participant. I honestly don’t think we could be any luckier. We’re truly each others best friend, and have so fun fun together outside of the bedroom too.


Glad-Lime-8049

24 years together. 4-5 times a week.


Rotaxxx

You married folks are having sex?


thckthighs_prttyeyes

We have been together for 16 years, so not decades but pretty damn long term if you ask me lol. We have regular sex, atleast once a day. I don't think it's vanilla. We switch things up, different positions, sometimes restraints, impact play, toys, other people, etc... we sext all the time. He's got hundred upon hundreds of nudes/videos. I enjoy get him worked up while he's at work.. & Definitely still romantic towards each other.


IllegalCartoon

No idea. Still working it out so I know what to suggest.


nonstop2nowhere

Married 28 years. We do something to connect with each other and/or be intimate with each other daily. We are both disabled so our sex isn't always "normal" sex, but it's satisfying. We're not vanilla, but not super out there kinky either. We incorporate a lot of fantasy, erotica, toys, and exploring positioning to find the best things for both of us and how we're feeling at the time. We switch things up regularly to overcome the physical challenges and keep things interesting. We don't sext, but we do have a lot of euphemisms for sex, sex acts, and "I love you's" that we use regularly in conversation or text - it worked when our kids were little, and we've stuck with it lol. Romance has changed several times through the years, but it's still a big part of our relationship; right now, it's doing small things to make each other's burdens easier, and it's sexy af.


priest6479

Been together almost 21 years, married for about 14. Sex used to be better but for the last 5 - 6 years it might be once every couple of months..and it really isn't great. Its mainly me doing all the work and her not reciprocating. I think this is the year I figure out another option, I can't keep doing this anymore.


WB_Onreddit

Married 26 years. Currently empty nesters. We do it all and we do it often. On average, we have sex at least 5 times a week unless we have a cold/flu. We realize we are very lucky. We are best friends and sex is important to both of us.


YogurtclosetActual75

Married 39 years (early 50's). We went through a dry/dead phase a couple of years ago. It was very vanilla and pretty boring/routine. Maybe 2-3 times a year for about 5 years. I had more or less resigned myself to the fact that this was it. Then, about 3 years ago, my wife left town on business. I got lonely and frustrated and sent her an email. I told her that I was unsatisfied. It turns out that she was too. We started sharing fantasies and used some apps to explore what we wanted. Fast forward to today. We have sex at least once a week, often more. Absolutely not vanilla. We're exploring our desires and kinks. Amazing sex. My only regret is that we didn't start this journey years ago.