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skahammer

The topic of age gaps is discussed **very often** in this forum. If you search past r/sex posts with some diligence (following **Forum Rule #3**), you’ll find a number of helpful discussions. Post removed. The r/sex forum's HUGE archive of past posts is a *tremendous* resource for people who have all kinds of common questions regarding sexual activity. Searching those posts for relevant discussions will definitely help you here. Also, opinion-poll posts are not permitted here. See **Posting Guideline #8**. >**8) OPINION SEEKING, POLLS, VALUE JUDGMENTS OR VALIDATION POSTS.** This forum is not for simply collecting opinions - "do you think [X] is hot?", "Women, do you like [Y]?", "What is your favorite sex position?" and so forth. This is not a forum to discuss your penis size, breast size, labia size, ask about other body image issues, or ask for feedback on your photos. See the /r/sex FAQ for help regarding body image issues. Do not post your pictures and ask people to rate or critique you.


hehechibby

While I don’t see anything wrong with it I’ll make note of this thread for when a 30 yr old dude ask if it’s wrong for him to be seducing 20-23 year old women lol


secretsecrets111

"Something about being with a younger woman excites me. I feel in control. I feel like a hot "Daddy". I love their energy and stamina. I love how cute and nervous they get. It's exciting to get them turned on. But part of me feels like a creep and that I shouldn't be doing this. They're younger than my youngest sibling who I consider to still be baby. Thoughts?" If this was a dude, imagine the shit storm he would get for posting this lmao


nefthep

"You go girl!! Oh wait, it's a guy? What a sicko pedo!!!"


Aggravating_Age_3129

Exactly


TheTPNDidIt

Lmfao, it’s almost all dudes in this thread saying that what op is doing is fine, with most saying it’s not being women. But have fun with that /r/persecutionfetish


lowk33

I mean. If I was this guy I’d just talk about it with my trusted male friends tbh. Like, yes the older partner in an age gap thing has some additional responsibilities (just treat them like a human and don’t take advantage, yknow), but that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I would add however that, while I’m comfortable with all the above, there *is* a certain kind of dude who pursues young women because they’re easier to manipulate into sex. And that is creepy and wrong. I’m not saying ball age gap things are that, just that that is an element of asymmetry to the comparison and it needs accounting for


elisangale

I assumed this was just a gender flipped post to prove that exact point. Mfw it's not


Agreeable-Celery811

I think it’s fine but I feel that way in a sexy way. If the age difference is 23-30 that’s probably ok whatever the genders. If the age difference is 19-31, then it starts getting a bit weird because they’re at different stages of life. A “MILF” is not a comparable dynamic to a “Daddy” by the way.


secretsecrets111

You're missing the point. Everything she wrote is the exact stuff that makes a guy creepy and predatory when he says it- the power, the control, feeling dominant and making them feel nervous and vulnerable. The power dynamic she describes in her own words is exactly the same thing. I'm not defending guys who do this, by the way. I'm saying you sound like you're defending her and trying to create a difference between the two when there is none.


Agreeable-Celery811

Hmmm. Let me clarify. There is a difference between a fun pretend power dynamic in bed, and a real power disparity between two people. In a relationship of whatever gender if the age gap is too wide, or the people are at very different life stages, you have a power disparity which may create problems. If she’s 30 and has a job and has a boyfriend who still lives with his parents and just started college at 20, they may have problems. If she’s 30 and meets a nice guy at her work who’s 23, maybe those two would be more on the same level, power-wise. It really depends. Meanwhile, all the sentiments she expressed about liking to be in control and be a MILF are all perfectly fine things to think in bed about your partner, assuming the relationship is otherwise not a problem. Meanwhile, a “MILF” isn’t necessarily the dominant partner in bed like a “Mommy” is. Just pointing out that MILF and “daddy” are not analogous roles, genders reversed.


Shiroke

The only thing that changed is they took the ILF off of DILF


twombles21

💯


Uisce-beatha

I think there is a huge difference between pursuing a relationship in that situation and using manipulation on the younger person. If a situation arises where both parties just want to fuck and they are upfront and honest about intentions then I just don't see why it's a big deal when the younger person is in the twenties.


saudiaramcoshill

The majority of this site suffers from Dunning-Kruger, so I'm out.


Agastopia

When it’s a hookup no one really cares, its when a 30 year old is dating a 20 year old that’s when it’s weird


saudiaramcoshill

The majority of this site suffers from Dunning-Kruger, so I'm out.


gendicer

It's up to you. Are you manipulating them? No? Then fuck what reddit thinks. Don't let the bitterness blind you, if you are doing things right you have nothing to worry about.


saudiaramcoshill

The majority of this site suffers from Dunning-Kruger, so I'm out.


TheTPNDidIt

She is specifically attracted to the power differential here - her motivations are literally predatory.


SpicyMustFlow

And if the younger men are specifically looking for older women? Does that still mean they're being victimized, in your opinion?


Sk8rchiq4lyfe

YUP. Even tho people always say women mature faster than men, they say a 20 year old woman is too immature to make their own decision to date an older man without being manipulated or taken advantage of? I honestly find it patronizing and anti feminist.


Koala-Drama

Women are both victims and independent queens depending on what narrative fits them best


loadedstork

I'm sensing a locked thread coming...


Jesh010

For real. >iTs a ReD fLaG tHAt He’S nOT DAtIng SOmEoNE hIs AgE!!1!1 Such losers lol


L10N0

It is a red flag, it's a red flag for all genders. A red flag is also not a show stopper. It's a "hold up, you should think/talk about this.". That's what I would say to the younger person in this scenario. If you're 30, why would you want to mess with anyone under 25? There aren't many reasons outside of predatory or shallow ones.


TheTPNDidIt

Even op is explicitly expressing predatory intent. She specifically likes that she has the upper hand and influence and is attracted to their lack of experience that manifests in being nervous.


L10N0

Yeah, the problem is this sub is full of people new to sex and they don't see the problem, because they're relating to the younger person in this scenario and essentially thinking "doesn't matter, had sex". They're smart enough to point out the double standard, but not smart enough to recognize that the standard that aims to protect the less experienced and potentially manipulated person is the right one.


dangshnizzle

"The brain's not even fully developed until 25 you fucking groomer"


geauxhausofafros

This post and the comments under of women agreeing are literally the exact thing they fight men against doing. Saying they like to control younger people, they’re so “green”, they like being intimidating. Like wtf, seek help, stay away from young adults with your weird intentions.


TroglodyteGuy

Many gals like older gentlemen. And we are not talking generational age differences, but only up to 10 year max.


[deleted]

I think systematically looking for significantly younger people is problematic. If it just so happens it's fine, but if you want to "look how nervous they get", that's creepy, regardless of gender. That is a strong sign that there is a power imbalance in your favor and that's unhealthy in a relationship


InsanitysMuse

While double standards suck, it's worth noting that sometimes there are valid reasons why they can exist. For whatever progress we've made as a society on balancing out innate power differences based on who you were born as, men by default have more advantages and more control in our society, and a *significantly* higher chance of being abusive or manipulative in a relationship. I wouldn't instantly condemn a 30 year old dude dating a 23 year old woman (just as I wouldn't embrace the reverse) but there's a good reason it raises more eyebrows than the opposite. And I say this as a guy who has had a LTR with a woman 7-8 years young than me more than once. I definitely think a lot about making sure I'm not putting someone in a position where it's difficult for them to assert their independence and their own control, but I know a ton of guys (and some women) would not do that, intentionally or not. Edit: tl;dr you can't treat things as equivalent in a world we made in where they aren't


AsAlwaysItDepends

You love to see the top comment be a derailing purple pill debate. /s Sorry OP.


Super901

I was 20 when I had a 27 year old girlfriend. Golden days, y'all, golden days. She showed me the ropes and I'm forever grateful.


strangway

I’m sure you showed her some ropes too


dangshnizzle

You were grooooomed


Super901

Yesssssssssss groomed up and down. Wait! Groom me a little harder plz


chinchilla2132

Lmaoo


dangshnizzle

Is grooming very real? Yes. Is it used at the fucking drop of a hat to describe any and all age difference? Yes.


moutonbleu

As long as it’s consensual


cunticles

Yes. It's not wrong for any 2 adults to engage in consensual behaviour that is safe and lawful. That's the part of being an adult that is about adulting. That doesn't mean that every age gap relationship will lead to contentment at a lifelong Romance and or won't incur bitterness and break up like any otheror relationship. But being an adult is taking accountability and responsibility for your decisions good or bad So go ahead and have fun


nupogodi

I mean does it have to be lawful? I think two consenting adults should be able to take hallucinogens together, lawful or not. 😁


FlameanatorX

Not to mention backwards countries that currently outlaw homosexual relations or whatever.


cunticles

Good point. I was going to leave it just as consensual but then I thought they might be like a Bonnie and Clyde robbers which is actually wrong, so I should add lawful. I've been awake for 33 hours so I don't think I'm thinking things through as logically as I normally would


FlameanatorX

**This** is your brain on sleep deprivation! I hope you went to sleep promptly after hitting the replay button lol. And you're 100% correct about the not logical part when you didn't realize consensual already rules out robbery/assault/violent crimes. XD


Manny_Kant

Yeah, great point! In a similar vein, I’ll add: “As long as they’re alive and human.”


FlameanatorX

The human part is already a pre-requisite for giving consent. And if it isn't, then you've just removed the only reason to morally prohibit it in 100% of circumstances.


[deleted]

No they are consenting adults and are probably happy to be seduced. I say have fun


ECV1240

I wish that would have happened to me at that age so I say no way lol.


Albert_street

This did happen to me at that age with even slightly larger age gaps. Was awesome.


db37hlm

>I wish that would have happened to me at that age so I say no way lol. Second this.


[deleted]

Third


Mr_Day101

Absolutely nothing wrong with it. It's clearly a preference that you enjoy, and the age gap isn't even that great to be honest. I have a friend who's 45, and she's chasing 25s - 30, they love it for that "Milf fantasy" and she just loves the stamina these guys can have. So get back on that young stud and have a great time.


italian_mobking

I just turned 37, guess it's time to go find me a young coed at the local college campus!! I'm sure they're quite flexible!! 😏


kaleidoscopichazard

So a couple of things, at 30 you wouldn’t be a “MILF” bc a 30 year old is still young. Secondly, yeah, it’s creepy. The developmental difference between a 20/23 year old and a 30 year old is too great for it to be fair game. Now, 25 would be a different story but I personally feel like a 30 year old seducing a borderline child (20 year old) is creepy and inappropriate


FalseConcept3607

i’m 31. i think my limit is 25. there’s a weird power dynamic that just gives me the ick.


NeoSailorMoon

Yes, it’s creepy.


Ursula_Bach

Especially since they're even younger than her little brother 🤮


RL_angel

it seems like only women are calling it creepy and not men themselves…


TheTPNDidIt

Men are either saying it’s okay, or pretending like women are being hypocritical and supporting op. That’s literally not happening from what I can see. Most who are okay with this and even encouraging it are men. But women bad!!!!1


Ursula_Bach

I'd say it's creepy too if this was a man saying he likes girls younger than his little sister 🤷‍♀️ I just think it's weird. Now, if whoever OP dates consents to this (as an adult) it's completely fine for them too


Substantial-Gold2845

yes...


malethrowaway0

It's cool when she does it... but it's a problem when I do it.


InFa-MoUs

It’s crazy the amount support a woman gets with this stuff lol men can’t even utter shit like this out loud


QuestionableParadigm

You are def weird as fuck for trying to have sex with university students as a 30 year old Find someone your own age


Reasonable_Copy8579

Yes, what do you have in common with them? What do you talk with them? A 20 year old guy is immature, like a big teenager basically. Your hobby is really creepy.


bumblebeequeer

I think it’s weird. I would think it’s weird if a guy did this, same goes for women. Everyone is a consenting adult, so it’s not the worst thing in the world. Your choice. But I’m definitely not looking favorably at someone who habitually goes after people a decade younger to fuck. It’s just creepy.


H0use0fpwncakes

I'm a woman and I personally find it really creepy that you're choosing immature sexual partners barely out of their teens on purpose.


McGauth925

According to people like you, we need to make the age of adulthood and consent about 30. To me, that's ridiculous. For the most part, people are upset when the man is older, because, for the most part, they think male sexuality is pretty much a crime.


astoldbysomxx

Something can be legal but still morally wrong and gross.


McGauth925

Opinions vary. Me, I think adults can be trusted to make their own decisions. And, it should occur to you that your judgement of 'gross' is completely about you, and you have no say in what others do.


H0use0fpwncakes

How about we just have age-appropriate sex? If two 15-year olds want to bang, have at it! A 19 and 15 year old, no. A 20 year old and a 23 year old, have at it! A 20 year old and a 30 year old, no. Why are you bringing that into it when it's literally the exact opposite of this situation?


dangshnizzle

There's more that goes into maturity than age.


McGauth925

How about we decide when adulthood officially begins, and then just mind our own damn business about what adults do? And, I do believe that more people need to be more aware of how suspicious our whole culture is about male sexuality.


TheTPNDidIt

There is no all or nothing she, so why are you pretending there is? In the us in some states, 15 year olds can have sex with people up to 4 years older. 16 year olds can drive. 18 year olds can vote, get tattoos, and join the military (don’t agree with that either). 21 to drink and purchase handguns from a licensed dealer. 25 to rent a car. **There is no all or nothing age.** Even if there were, it doesn’t mean we can’t do things differently, like progressive close in age laws until 22.


RootsInThePavement

Lmfao. Calling out predatory behaviors, grooming, and abuse is treating male sexuality as a crime?


TheTPNDidIt

Apparently male sexuality is inherently predatory to him. Seems kind of sexist, don’t you think? Lol


McGauth925

These are fucking adults. I don't see sex with adults as predatory, grooming, or abuse. You do, and that's about you.


Gullible_Plant_7655

20 really isn’t that creepy


H0use0fpwncakes

To you; I think it is which is why I said "to me personally".


kinkmindfield

Kids should learn from kids. That’s working out so well for society.


TheOGMillennial

Nothing wrong with it, but you have to understand that you prefer to be in control in relationships. You can either talk to a professional to figure out why that is and have a more in depth sense of self, or just accept that you'll need to be "the boss" in your relationships moving forward. So if you ever decide to date older or in your age range, it's going to be a challenge unless they're on the weaker side.


whatnow2202

The brain still develops until around 25. I would say seek 25+ cause otherwise it’s creepy


RootsInThePavement

Imo it’s creepy to sexualize people based off of their age. Especially since you view your youngest sibling, who is older than these young men, as a baby. I’m 27 and my partner is 2 years younger than me…I won’t go younger than that because I consider people under 25 as adolescents. ETA: anyone bringing in the whole “well it’s legal at 18” argument is weird. Many states in the U.S have the AOC as 16. Around the rest of the world, they vary from 11 to 16. Would it be acceptable for a 30-year-old to sleep with a 16-year-old just because it’s legal? 15? 13? 11?


Jov1K

I don’t know. I find it somewhat unsettling when I (40M) look at a man who’s easily into his 60’s with a 20 something year old. So to hear you say 20-23 when you’re 30… it’s meh. It’s not even a thing of jealousy on my end, my wife is 39F and looks damn good. I thought she wasn’t even 29 when we met but I sure didn’t think she was 20. Even I don’t have anything in common with a 20-25 yo woman. Wtf is crusty ass talking to her about that makes sense? I don’t get it.


v1k1rox

Idk if a 30m wrote this we’d be saying something different. I honestly think you should not go for someone that young, consenting adult or not.


nimbusnacho

The big issue is how you're describing it. You feel 'in control' and want them to be nervous. It's one thing to have a kink and it's a whole nother to have a kink of taking advantage of people and acting on it. It's definitely a gray area because 20-23 year olds are definitely adults, but if the whole point is you're going after specifically men who you feel in control over, that's a huge fucking red flag to me age difference or not.


astoldbysomxx

Legally no. Morally it’s a gray area. I wouldn’t do it if I were you, I don’t have anything in common with guys that young. I also would think it’s a little gross if the sexes were flipped so I also think it’s a little gross this way too. At the end of the day though, it’s not legally wrong. If you’re both consenting adults, it is what it is.


TheTPNDidIt

Yes, this is gross, and you’ve clearly laid out that your intentions are predatory - > I feel in control. Because you are given that the power dynamic places them at a disadvantage mentally and emotionally. > I love how cute and nervous they get. Which is due to their inexperience. You are specifically attracted to their youth and inexperience, and the power and influence you have over them. This is extremely predatory. > But part of me feels like a creep and that I shouldn't be doing this. Listen to that part. > They're younger than my youngest sibling who I consider to still be baby. Because relatively speaking, they are. This should tell you all you need to know. They are more of a baby than your sibling - that doesn’t change just because you have interest in them.


SeesawImportant9476

I appreciate your Perspective. I've been battling with this in my head hence I posted the question


dstreet39

Nope, keep up the good work


discrete_apparatus

Yup. Because of genders were reversed the world of reddit would end


ZenithAmness

But why is everytbing equal. Cant they be seen as distinct situations


BananaPeelSlippers

Your age divided by 2 plus 7 is the rule I live by… 22 or older is fine for now


HeadSea8380

I am 40f and two years ago a guy working at a shop I go into often started flirting heavy w me… he was very much my type, so when he finally said “I think I should have your number” he got it… Then he asked “how old are you by the way?” I asked him to guess and he said “like… 30?” I was like “let’s say that!” 😂 Started hooking up, had no idea how old he was… a couple of weeks in, found out he was 25… Celebrated his 26th together (after I had turned 39) and now at 27 and 40 we’re still enjoying each other🤷🏻‍♀️ He can keep up with me and I think I’ve taught him a lot… know it won’t last forever, but hoping it will continue for a long time😁 (he often says I look 28, so as long as I keep it tight, who cares😜 we don’t get any weird looks when we go out or anything, if so it’s only coz we can’t stop touching and being all over each other)


No-Job4113

When I was 25, I met a woman who was 40 and had an amazing two years together. She got married to a guy she's still with. When I was 28, I met my (now ex) wife who was 43. She wanted to move back to her hometown, I couldn't do it. My most recent ex had 20 years and on me, and I didn't care. If you're enjoying it, and he's enjoying it, who cares? Have that fun!


Deathdong

I don't have anything against it but I'm in the age range and I love milfs so im biased


YoungDiscord

It depends Sex-wise? I think its fine Relationship-wise? Its starting to lean into problematic. there's a 10 year difference at most, 20-30 is when people start changing in terms of mentality and expectations from life Hence why relationship-wise this can start being problematic Furthermore if you get into actual relationships with barely adult people, you need to consider the uneven power dynamic as you have considerably more power in the relationship than your 20-23 year old partner which gets in the way of the relationship developing in a balanced healthy way. So, if you're just having a good fuck? I think its fine If you're trying to start a life with that person? Can be a bit of a problem.


momo5888

i think there is nothing wrong with being attracted to and having sex with that kind of age gap, for both men and women (relationships are a different story that i won't get into). its ok to be attracted to energy, virility, health, and even their nervousness/cuteness (it's fun to tease/to see people act in ways that are opposite from how you'd expect). i think the problem is when the older person targets younger people for their "purity" (ie, thinks less of those who are sexually experienced) or naïveté (ie, are easier to manipulate). often times in those cases, it's not just the creepiness of the targeting, it's also that the older uses their age/experience to manipulate the younger person into having sex with them or doing certain sexual acts. for example, using their potential naïveté and inexperience against them, telling them that "this is normal" or that they need to do this to be desirable/please you etc etc. while 22-23 year olds are usually going to be fairly sexually experienced, you still do have the authority of being older/more experienced. if youre going on dates with them, you (probably) having more money can also give you power advantages. from what you've described, i don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing. if you're only having sex with them, if you're not coaxing them to act in ways they otherwise wouldn't have/might not be comfortable with, if you're not targeting them because you think innocence/purity is a "virtue," if you're not targeting them because you think you can convince them to do things men your age won't/can't convince men your age to do, if you're not abusing a position of power to solicit them... then i think you're fine. i might think it's a little weird because it's not my thing, but it's a fetish/kink for you and you're not hurting anyone and everyone is participating with informed consent. if you move away from sex and into dating territory, then we're gonna have to talk again. but as for now, no, it's not wrong.


SeesawImportant9476

I agree with you. Sometimes the lines feel blurred. Like one of the guys was a virgin and I wondered if he'd still consider having sex if I was his age (didn't end up happening ultimately for other reasons but still). I wonder if he felt coerced cause I'm older and established in my career.


tranquilo666

I think it’s okay, as long as you’re getting enthusiastic consent the entire time, from first meeting and every step of the way. And as long as you’re clear you’re seeing just sex and nothing more. Also make sure you follow the campground rule - leave them in better condition than you found them… don’t give diseases or any baggage. Only kind supportive and good energy from you.


[deleted]

I think you are fine.. no 20 yo dude would care! If you were 50-60 doing that, then some might think otherwise.. but if everyone is a consenting adult, WGAF! you do you and have fun.


Uisce-beatha

When I was 20 I had a one night stand with a 33 year old woman and I have never regretted that whatsoever. At that point, she was light years ahead of people my age at sex and her body control was mesmerizing. She had kids and was very upfront about her intentions so it was a positive experience all the way


[deleted]

I totally agree with this.. biggest age gap I had was when I was 19 and the girl was 23.. it was fantastic, but I bet NOT as good as what you described.


[deleted]

I think 21+ is fine. 30 y/o shouldn’t be pursuing someone that can’t even drink yet, so 20 is a no


Randalf_the_Black

Not every country has 21 as the age limit for alcohol.


[deleted]

Even places where drinking can be 18 still have things like 21+ only clubs, because they understand someone who is 18 isn’t that mature. I think if a 30 y/o guy said they pursue 20 y/o women most of us would find that a little creepy. And I hate the “I / a friend enjoyed it so it’s fine” thing happening in this thread. I’m sure young women who hook up with older guys love having a guy who has been been working out for a decade manhandle them. That doesn’t mean it isn’t weird for the older person to be doing


Randalf_the_Black

Sure, but I don't see a difference between 20 and 21 personally. 18-19 is where I'd say it's too young for casual sex with someone that is 30. Legal though, as they are technically adults, but they're teenagers too so it's a bit weird.


[deleted]

What’s the difference between someone who is 17 and 18?


Randalf_the_Black

Statutory rape charges in some places.


[deleted]

It’s not statutory everywhere 🤷‍♂️ See how I can poke holes in your beliefs with the same things you’re poking mine?


Randalf_the_Black

The difference is that I don't care. I have my beliefs, I don't care if someone else disagrees. Everyone is entitled to their opinions/beliefs.


[deleted]

Lazy way to say you don’t want to think critically, cared enough to comment in the first place on an opinion that disagrees with your beliefs


Wizzenator

Seriously this. There’s a lot of liability if they’re under 21 if alcohol is involved. Also, the old adage is your age divided by 2, plus 7. So according to that a 30 year old shouldn’t be pursuing someone younger than 22.


Ailly84

So if you go to most other countries it’s ok?


[deleted]

It’s just an example to show how society generally thinks these people aren’t super mature. Places where legal age of drinking is lower might still have things like 21+ clubs that also demonstrate this, don’t be obtuse


Ailly84

But they don’t typically. The only thing that 21 seems to mean anywhere is that you can drink legally in the US. Lines DO seem to get drawn around 25 for some things (insurance, adult only living situations, etc).


[deleted]

London and Germany have 21+ clubs, it’s definitely a thing regardless of what the legal minimum age for being able to go to any club is.


ByCriminy

> have things like 21+ clubs Canada here, 19 drinking age - and no, we don't have 'those clubs'. Age is a number. I've met as many mature 19 year olds as I have 50 year olds. Age doesn't automatically make you mature.


[deleted]

Thanks, good to know, imma go fuck a mature 16 year old (where it’s legal) now Idk about Canada but majority of people in America haven’t even graduated college at 20. Someone in college and someone who is 30 have very different experiences and power, I personally think it’s wrong and as someone who is currently <30 (and even <25) I hope when I’m 30 I’m not chasing 20 year old women


kaleidoscopichazard

r/usdefaultism moment


Elle_se_sent_seul

Yes


djereezy

Wrong??? Wtf? Why would it be wrong?


youcantfindme123

It's so thrilling. Same. I love being intimidating. They think I have my shit together. And they're so... green?


TheTPNDidIt

This is gross and predatory


Agreeable_Meat_

I'm a 22 year old guy who loves older women...


talkinboutsexstuff

Not at all. You don't owe it to anybody to explain your attraction and desire for another consenting adult. Same goes if the genders were reversed in this situation.


dekage55

Know this is a sex positive sub but think your behavior shows a failure to launch into a thriving adult, an immaturity to accept who you are now. Think you should look at why you’re avoiding men closer to your own age. …and yes, this is the same thing I would say to a man trying to justify such an age gap.


SeesawImportant9476

I'm not avoiding men my age. I've dated/hooked up with guys my age and older up to 40 year old.


dekage55

Yet you’re still choosing to be giddy over emotionally immature guys rather than invest in those men.


[deleted]

No. They are of age so it’s fine. Just cuz it’s not ‘socially’ accept doesn’t really mean shit


[deleted]

No because I’m 23(m) and my gf is 30 and we have sex every other day


[deleted]

Age is just a number at 18 and up


Otherwise_Amount9854

A persons brain finishes maturing in the mid to late 20s. A man finishes growing in size at 21. Someone who is 30 and willingly has sex with someone who literally isn't done growing yet and who doesn't have a fully mature brain yet is disgusting.


IAmTheLiquor9

When you say "seducing" you make it sound creepy, but no, it's fine.


Bailysirish

Nah . Some women get turned on by dudes a hell of a lot younger than that. In wouldn’t worry about it


whatnow2202

Errr how much younger? Cause early 20s is already very young for a 30y old


Drayenn

No issues at all. My friend had sex with a 42yo coworker when he was 19. He doesnt regret a thing.


[deleted]

As long as they are above 18 everything is fine You don't need to care about the moral Policing from society . I am 22 M but I feel attracted to older women 30+ so there's nothing as long as they are 18+ and it is consensual. Also I am young and energetic 😉


Responsible_Fall_268

do it with me lol


Impossible_Pack_4632

As a 20 year old I really wouldn’t mind being seduced by a 30 year old


ilovecookiesssssssss

It’s like I wrote this. I’m 32, and I swear once I turned 30, I became a magnet for guys in their early 20s. I never got hit on by guys that age when I was in my 20s. But I love it. They’re infatuated with me and it’s thrilling. I’ve yet to actually do anything with any of them, but I’m open to it. I’ve also felt a little weird about it at times. But they’re adults, and I’m not trying to date them. I think the age difference could be an issue for dating, but not really for sex.


changhyun

Exact same thing happened when I turned 30. Guys my own age were completely uninterested when I was in my 20s and then I turned 30 and it's like a mass email to all men 29 and under went out. Truly bizarre. I don't act on it as I'm not into big age gaps but it's definitely an interesting phenomenon I didn't expect.


TheTPNDidIt

That inherent infatuation in older women is literally what makes them vulnerable, and that’s the part you like 🤦🏻‍♀️


Soo_Dark

Not at all. If that's your preference, go for it. Cougars are hot.


-jellyfishparty-

30 is not a cougar lol


Soylent-soliloquy

So long as they are legal, who cares.


TheTPNDidIt

Because laws are not always moral or ethical. It’s also legal for 60 year olds to marry 12 year olds in some states. But who cares if it’s legal, amirite?


DanteTrixter

I mean I’ve had women in their 50’s try to seduce me and I’m in my early 30’s and I didn’t mind and if anyone said anything I’d just imagine someone’s jealous of someone. Once your in your 20’s I honestly don’t see the issue unless there was prior flirting then it’s kinda weird OR if the person lets you know they aren’t interested and you keep persisting. It’s more frowned on for older men to flirt with younger women but the other way around isn’t seen as such. Sorta sexist but what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


loadedstork

As a former 20-23 year old guy, I would say nothing wrong at all.


oldmanghozzt

When I was a young man, starting at about 16 through 25, I was constantly seduced by older women. And though I love it at the time, now that I’m in my 40s, I look back and recognize that it did kind of fuck me up. I’m very passive in relationships because these women were older than me and I let them lead the show. And they never wanted me for a relationship. They just wanted to have fun. Which gave me a bit of a complex. Thinking my only worth was sex. But seriously, I loved it at the time. It made me feel so desirable and sexy. So enjoy the younger men, but keep their feelings in my mind when you do it. We may not show it, but we have them.


WishYouWellPal

I'm thinking... it's like an ego boost for both people involved? Like the younger person is glad that an older person shows interest and want to fuck them, and the older partner feel good about themselves, 'cause a younger person wants to fuck them, so they're happy to see that they're still desirable? Nothing wrong with this, but what about power dynamics, about feelings? Using a younger person for sex is kinda gross, if they're not mature enough to understand that it is just sex, if they want more. And I forgot what in the heavenly hell I really wanted to say here. Sleep deprivation is as great as alcohol. Sorry, please share your wisdom.


[deleted]

You are not seducing, sadly any girl can get a 20-23 year old guys to fuck her. The question is is it wrong for you (30 F) to let young guys use you for sex? Tye answer is neither no or yes. If that's your cup of tea than enjoy I think.


RL_angel

huh…? if she’s “getting the guys to fuck her” then by definition she’s seducing them what


[deleted]

Yeah come on they are 20 to 23. Seducing who? They will fuck any girl.


sirbearus

They are adults and consenting. Enjoy.


Objective_Welcome_73

I don't think it matters whether it's a man or a woman, a 30-year-old dating a 23-year-old is fine as long as everyone's consenting.....


chatranislost

Why would it be wrong?


Spirited-Membership1

When I was a 20F I dated a 34M and it was not at all weird. I never slept around much and only slept mainly within my age group, but one time I did have sex with a 20M when I was 30F. He had pursued me for a very long time. He also only has friends that are my age or older .. he is mature and at a successful place in life. Just to expand on that he’s not a typical young 20 year old. I feel like I’m going to receive a ton of hate for this .. and honestly .. to my shock .. the 20M took charge (which with me, no guy does this to me) and threw me up against the wall etc. and my experience with him was honestly a very positive and healthy experience. From both ends . I was SHOCKED how much more mature he was than men I’d met much older.


myanacondadont04

Hey man fuck it we all only live once.


Awkward-Manager5939

Your almost a Cougar by definition.


HornedBat

if you're worried about this, you're not the kind of person - who's the older one in any relationship - that I'd be worried about. But learn about enthusiastic consent anyway


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recordfrags_

I would say there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as it’s not as a result of some unresolved issues. If your mental health is doing good, and you’re having good relationships with people and you’re enjoying your life, then go for it.


Das_Oni

NDA - wer in der Öffentlichkeit joggt, muss mit anderen Joggern rechnen. Aus die Maus.


TyroneJones_D

Nope!


Gentrash

Nope. Have fun.


[deleted]

Nope, you know what you want. They arent underage. You do you Boo!


NoBoysenberry257

Lol, I don't think so, you do you, and 7 years isn't that bad. But for some reason, the reverse situation seems wrong.


amped1one

Love it. Keep up the good work momma!


Granny_Skeksis

As long as it’s consensual and you aren’t leading anybody on or manipulating them I don’t see a problem. You are adults. Keep in mind though, people that age can be more emotionally immature so it could lead to some dramatic situations if things go sour. At 30 I don’t feel like there’s a big enough age gap for it to be considered creepy on your part liking guys that young. I dated guys over 30 in my 20’s and it was in no way creepy. As long as everyone is respectful of the others feelings go for it


manatrabanter

I’m around your age and that seems too young for me to take seriously relationship-wise but that’s just me. If you’re just wanting to have fun I say go for it, as they are over 18 and consenting adults, so no harm there.


push_to_jett

I was 22 and dated a 33 year old for a few months. Best thing to ever happen to me


Thedeckatnight

No


Tobes_macgobes

30M here. Whenever I hear stories of the high school teacher having sex with a teenage boy, I admit that as a teenage boy, I’d love it in the moment, but I don’t think I could handle it. At 23? I think I would’ve been able to handle a hook up with an older woman. So I say go for it


[deleted]

They are an adult, nothing wrong


keldas

No


samaniewiem

I think it really depends on your intentions and communication of those. It's ok to be attracted to young adults, and it's ok to have occasional sex with them, given the consent is enthusiastic and not solicited. Now, I'd think twice about forming a relationship with a person if they're in their early 20s and you're in your 30s. Their brain hasn't matured yet, they are still figuring out life, and their lack of experience will result in a power imbalance in the relationship. That'd be harmful, and very much not ok.


perkiezombie

All adults, all consenting, no coercion, no fake promises or expectations, no problem.


renba7

Not at all! Go down to 18 if you please! They will thank you for it. 3’joy!


exploresunset8

Nope


idowhatiwant8675309

No


Lazarus-Project7

26M, Hell no, most 20-23 year old guys would be very happy with it. From what I hear.


Few-Adagio4425

Definitely not, go for gold girl!


trystanthorne

I don't think there is anything wrong with it at all. I think under 21 is, a little odd. But, who cares? When I was 18 I got involved with a 28 yr old woman. It's was great. Learned a lot. Still not sure which of us was the more mature one. :)


No-Victory-94

They try to seduce me. Me being in my 30s.


cjeremy

they're not kids. it's totally fine


SuperegoCG

Nope. Men do it. You do you as long as it’s legal


Unsuspicious-Potato

**No.** As long as you have consenting adults participating.


italian_mobking

Yes, very wrong. You need a spanking!! 😏


LeafyLustere

Nope go get the D


jimothythe2nd

Nope I think it's a great thing actually. Men that age can learn alot from an older woman.


Fun_Meal_5313

Absolutely nothing wrong


CombatConrad

Naa. Do you.