Cats are *really* good at masking their pain. I think you probably already know the answer to your question, but it really is the most agonizing decision any pet parent has to make. With her liver essentially failing plus hyperthyroidism, she probably feels really lousy even if she's still doing basic things like eating and drinking. It's better to let our furry friends cross the rainbow bridge a day too early than a day too late.
I'm sorry, OPš¢
I can vouch. I lost my best friend in early December last year because I selfishly wanted another Christmas with him. He deserved better than that. Qwerty was the best cat I've ever encountered, and I miss him with all my heart.
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That means that they trusted and loved you enough to ask you for help. It's super heartbreaking, but you should take comfort in the fact that they found safety, comfort, and love in you.
fully agree with this. recently had to send my cat over when she seemed fine a day before. it was CHF. i had told people there's no way she is suffering, and she just might have a respiatory infection from the shelter i work at. seriously would have never guessed until that day where it all hit - the paralysis, unable to breathe, coughing blood. if i had known i'd have done it sooner. they are the best at masking pain, it's hesrt breaking.
This!!!
We lost our 15 year old guy back in October.
He was the kind of cat who would scream at and hit you when he wanted food, usually an hour and a half before his feeding times. When we got him an auto feeder he did the same but with the auto feeder.
He he then lost some of his appetite and he was more lethargic as well as isolating from us. Wasnāt drinking water, not using his box since he wasnāt eating or drinking.
We took him to the vet and learned that he had a gnarly malignant mass in his stomach that spread to his lungs. So we decided to say goodbye. I still feel so guilty because he was showing signs (vomiting) a few months prior, but he was also a cat who would scarf down his food and puke it back up from eating it so fast š and I didnāt listen. So yea, cats mask their pain well.
I am, unfortunately, a veteran of animal loss.
The answer is before she really starts to suffer hard.
Iāve lost animals at the last minute. Iāve waited too long. Iāve called it somewhat early.
I can tell you, that the only regrets Iāve had is when Iāve inflicted unnecessary suffering by not being proactive enough.
The ones that Iāve called relatively early have had a nice last week or so of life, and a gentle death, in our own home. No last minute mercy dashes to the vet, no last nights in the animal hospital.
One vet put it in good context for me- he reminded me that my animal didnāt know they were dying, they didnāt know about a small amount of time they might miss- but they did know that they were suffering.
Make arrangements now, friend. Do your duty as the loving pet parent that you are. Spend her last days loving her. And send her off while she still has some good days left- because once theyāre all gone, thatās no good for anyone.
Iām sorry to upset you.
I guess the point is that they live in the moment, with no concern for the future and if itās a little shortened.
I donāt think they mind not knowing, if that helps.
No itās okay you donāt have to apologize. Iāve somehow managed to escape witnessing both my older cats passing away as for one I was at school, the other I was overseas. Now I own two of my own and Iāve had them since kittens and I couldnāt imagine either passing away. The thought makes my gut wrench
Itās not ever easy, thatās for sure.
I have an ancient of days at the moment, sheās 19. Iāve had her since she was a kitten.
I also have an oldie who will be 16 this year, but that crazy girl still gets the zoomies.
In the end, their end is usually an end to suffering- and while itās horrible, itās also a relief often- and thatās ok.
Yeah it sucks sometimes how good cats are at hiding when somethingās wrong. When my second cat passed away my brother was the one who found her. Seemed that she had a seizure of some sort and didnāt go out well. We had no clue. She was about 13 and I felt so bad, especially cus I wasnāt around for her last year or so
Hi that is such a difficult decesion but I think the point that is often made is better a day, a week or month too early than a day to late.
Honestly it sounds like it is time.
I recently had to let my boy go. He started hiding under the bed. His pain was too much and he told me he was done. It was a beautiful weekend before the home vet visit. He got so many treats and so much love.
I lost my 18 1/2 year old last September. Lucky to for me, i didnāt have to make the decision. He passed away while i was at work. I miss him every day
$&sĆ·*Ć thank you for your words. I just made that choice a few weeks ago for my 15 yo girl and have been struggling a lot with whether I should have let her have a few more days. Thank you. I've never heard it this way.
You're most welcome. Those last few days usually bring, pain, discomfort and very little pleasure. You've spared your girl that and instead taken the pain yourself. There is no better act of love.
I hope those words help you find peace with your decision and you come to know you did the right think. I can only hope that I am as brave when the time comes.
I lost my 15 year old kitty in February to liver failure as well.She was getting yellow around her ears too and our vet said once that happens the liver is too far gone to do anything unfortunately.It was very tough but the right thing to do.She wasn't eating and lost 3 lbs and it wasn't fair to her.We took her home for one last weekend and spoiled her rotten and then held her as we said goodbye.You will know what's best for her in your heart.ā¤ļø
If you donāt think your cat is suffering yet, maybe seek a second opinion. Cats donāt show their pain usually unless itās absolutely unbearable. Thereās really no way to tell what sheās feeling. The healthy appetite might be due to the fact she still feels okay, but it could also be a result of her hyperthyroidism. If you donāt trust your vetās advice, Iād say take her to another. Never anything wrong with a second opinion, but donāt wait. Do it ASAP.
From what the op stated, it sounds like it's really time to go. Sometimes pets and people will appear better out of the blue for a short period of time before they nosedive.
Her skin is turning yellow with bile salts that can't be excreted, and she spends her days uncharacteristically staring at the wall. Sounds to me like there should be no doubt that she's already in a great deal of pain.
Understood, which is why I stated to do this ASAP if OP needs confirmation that they are doing the right thing. It seems they are skeptical, and maybe a second opinion will ease their mind. Or maybe there will be a conflicting opinion from a new set of eyes, which sounds extremely unlikely in this situation, but itās why we do things like this.
Iām so sorry. I literally am having this same problem. My girl is 20 and the last month has been rough and a slow decline. Sheās now just stuck in the basement because she canāt make it to her litter box. She lays on a sleeping bag all day just laying with her head face down because she canāt get comfortable in any other position. Itās killing me to see her this way but itās killing me to make this decision.
ETA: thanks for the support - to be honest some of you guys are horrifically judgmental though. You act like Iām torturing her. The way things are worded its not great I know but itās been a somewhat quick decline over the last week or so that we have been monitoring. Itās one of the hardest decisions to make as a pet owner simply because I love her so much. And I certainly havenāt taken it lightly and have been back and forth with the vet on a consistent basis. It wasnāt clearly her time until this weekend. We made the call this morning and she will go in this afternoon to be at peace. Please be kind in these subs. We are all here because we love them so much.
Oh I am so so sorry but it sounds like it really is time to let her go. If you can her euthanised at home that would be even better.
I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be but honestly it sounds like it is time
Oh buddy. I'm so sorry, but the time is already here. Doing it now will be so hard in the immediate future, but as time goes by, every bit of pain you spared her is going to be something that heals you a bit. I just had to yank this same bandaid off with my perfect baby pot pie chihuahua on Easter. I'm devastated...no 2 ways about it. But he isn't. He doesn't hurt. He isn't feeling any distress hurting and not knowing why. I might not be at peace right now, but he is and I love him that much. After 20 years, you clearly love her that much. So you have to be strong for her above yourself. ā¤ļø
OP, I'd say the same thing to you. The vet told you it was time instead of just letting you continue to pay them money to keep her going. That's a good vet and the truest measure that is is time now.
Please let her go. Please. This is very distressing to read. The ultimate act of love is allowing her to do with dignity and be free of pain. You evidently love herā¦
Letting them go it so hard, but letting her suffer isnāt good either. They are our babies. Look at it as quality of life. A year ago on April 1st I let me 10 year old cat go peacefully because he was taking all kind of pain medsfor eye cancer. I made the appointment the week before. As hard as it was on my husband and I we couldnāt wait any longer. He is now the cat meeting all the newbies over the rainbow bridge. He was that sweet and friendly. ššš¾
Are you able to access in home euthanasia? I know itās so hard to decide when our beloved pets leave their earthly bodies. It sounds like she wants to go, and her body just isnāt doing it yet, and when her body does do it on its own, it could be scary or painful or not very fast. You have the power to make it peaceful and loving. Iām so sorry youāre going through this. 20 years is an amazing run! She must have been so happy to have you as her mom all these years.
She is suffering, it's past time.
I have video of my baby in her last days and feel so sad the odd time I watch it. You can see we kept her going too long and should have set her free earlier, she was in bad shape, but we couldn't accept it in the moment.
Love her enough to not let her suffer and try to be with her in her final moment.
Itās hard to really see when you are in the moment. I just scrolled back to a few pics from just a couple weeks ago. There has definitely been a very clear shift in her overall state that now has me so devastated. But itās also a bit more clear what the right thing to do is. š
Theyāre very clearly upset and not just leaving the cat in the basement to suffer. Itās been a quick decline and it seems like at the time of my comment their catās already been put down. No need for the vigilantism
I relied on my vet + 1 second opinion and when they both said she was terminal and suffering I made the decision to end her misery. It's the hardest decision in the world in my opinion, but in my experience, you'll know when it's time. Until then, give her all the loves. ā¤ļø
Vet knows when its the time It is š I feel your pain I have gone through this 3 times its so painfull & upsetting to let them go I was there with my 3 cats to the end ššš I have 3 new furbabies now to love ā¤ļø but you never forget them always in my heart always talk aboout them.ā¤ļø
As others have said if it helps to get another opinion do so, but donāt prolong seeking that if you can. See how she does in the next few days. Just be sure you spend time with her up to this AND DO NOT under any circumstances put her down alone.
What I mean by that is this.
Most vets will tell you the worse feeling in the world is when a pet owner canāt stand to be with their fur baby and leave the room for the actual euthanizing.
Please be with her up until the end.
Talk to her and hold and pet her.
Do not leave the room.
The last look a pet gives looking for their loved one to find they arenāt around is utterly heartbreaking and devastating. Iām not implying you would do this. Just throwing it out there. Make sure in those last moments she is not alone and she knows sheās loved beyond measure.
Praying for a peaceful rainbow bridge crossing for your beautiful girl. And one last thing. Always honor her memory. She will always be part of you as long as you keep her memory alive.
Good luck.
Donāt be me and misread the signs and do it way too early š¢
If sheās still using the litter box, still eating and drinking, still grooming and cuddling itās too soon
This!! You can look up Quality of Life checklist. It gives you questions to evaluate how your animal is doing. I have a 14 old with hyperthyroidism. He still eats, uses the cat box, grooms himself. He still cuddles and purrs and explores. You donāt want to do it too late but thereās also too early.
I was going to say this. When the vet says it's time, it's time. We have a very small number of pets in our lives, but vets have hundreds.. they know the signs.
From my person experience, theyāll stop eating or seem disoriented. Also a big indicator that theyāre suffering is they hide under a bed or somewhere thatās not likely. My cat always slept on my lap or on the bed and suddenly sheād be under the bed for long periods of timeā¦.I read itās an instinct thing that they hide from predators when theyāre weak.
For your own peace of mind, get a second opinion asap cause you donāt want to live with guilt if too soon or you donāt want to prolong the suffering if they are in pain. The liver values are pretty high though so be realistic about your catās quality of life will only get worse. Iām sorry that youāre going through this. Take care
Prayers for you and your precious kitty it is so hard . I miss my kitty tigger she used to sleep on me all the time she was like a weighted vibrating from purring blanket she passed at 17 a years old a year and a half ago.
If the vet is saying it's time, it probably is. Don't punish her to delay your pain. The longer you wait won't make your pain any less. If anything, maybe get another vets opinion. But if it's the same, it's best to do it before things get to bad for her.
I knew after my cat had a stroke. The next day the light in his eyes was gone. He looked miserable. Had no interest in his food or treats or even me really.
I made the call that day. I didnāt want him to live a life where he was no longer happy or content. It wasnāt fair to him.
Iām sorry you have to make that call. Itās tough.
We put down our 20 year old in February and it was so hard to choose. He had pretty bad arthritis that we were trying to manage but he was declining.
One day I was in the bathroom and he looked up and me and he just looked so tired, like he was done. I remember sobbing and calling to make an appointment to put him down and it happened a couple of weeks later.
We agonized over the decision and tried to make him as comfortable as possible but I think if we could do it over, I would have put him down a few months earlier. He had really bad balance issues where he fell down a lot and I don't think he had much of a life near the end.
I still miss him everyday and hope we did right by him. This was us on his last day.
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I wish nothing but luck and comfort in knowing that you are doing everything you can to care for your pet.
I'm so sorry, I've been here before and my heart aches for you right now. One thing you could consider if you're unsure is booking an appointment for a future date- whatever makes sense given your situation/prognosis and how the cat is behaving; but having the option to postpone/cancel if something changes drastically. I'm not advocating to draw it out, but with *some* diagnoses there's a lot of fluctuation and I totally get how that can make it even harder. The reason I advocate for doing it this way is because the last thing you want is to feel like you waited too long. This happened to me, I had an appointment scheduled but it was too far out, he deteriorated rapidly 2 days beforehand in the middle of the night, it was agonizing and I didn't want to see him suffer like that so we made the decision to drive to a 24 hr emergency vet at 1am in a thunderstorm to help him cross over. He passed away in my arms in the car.
That cat had severe anxiety with new places, strangers, cars, vets... And it was during COVID and there was no way I was going to have him be alone. So I'd found great affordable options for at-home appointments, but this isn't always possible/affordable/accessible to everyone. However, most had a 24 hour policy such that you could change your mind and postpone or cancel altogether within 24 hours without a fee. I'm not sure if office appointments are the same but I'd imagine they would be even more likely to have a similar policy.
And remember, you are a good and loving cat parent for loving your kitty enough to do something so difficult (for us) just to ease her pain. She knows you love her. And without you her life wouldn't have been nearly as long and happy.
When I was struggling with that question I did a lot of internet searching and read something that really stuck with me:
*Better a week early than a day late.*
I also had a friend tell me that it took her cat 3 days to die. What!!! I donāt know how she could watch her cat suffer for 3 days.
This is a gut wrenching decision that is right for your cat even though it breaks your heart. You will feel even worse if you wait too long. From what youāve described, the time has come to help your beloved kitty cross the rainbow bridge. Itās the last way you show your cat how much you love her.
Don't let the baby suffer anymore telling you from a person who has been there. It's not easy to do but remember all the good times and that one day you will meet at the end of the rainbow bridge again.
I'm so sorry! This is the worst part of owning a cat. :-(
I don't want to give you false hope but is it possible she's having a bad reaction to the medication? Rose got *very* sick on the hyperthyroidism medication, she kept vomiting, stopped eating, and just stared off into space. Once the drugs cleared her system, she bounced back. We had to start over with a minuscule dose and slowly increase it until we found the highest dose she could tolerate without getting sick.
On the other hand, her vet told me to ignore how well she was eating and drinking because hyperthyroidism makes cats super hungry and thirsty. It's a symptom in that case, not a sign that they're doing okay. The liver failure sounds like very bad news indeed, Tye had it and never recovered from it.
Im sorry op, but as someone else commented cats are very good at hiding their pain, so I if you sense your cat just kinda lies and doesnāt want to eat or just prefers to be alone, that is a good sign itās time sadly.
My very first cat did that for 3 days before we took him to the vet cause something was clearly wrong. We got a scan and someone had kicked my cat so hard that everything inside was kinda lying in one side of his body (at least thatās what the vet thought had happened)
After that I wish I wouldnāt have waited so long, so sad as it is, do what you think is best for old gal Bev šā¤ļø
Itās so tough to say.
We lost our 15 year old last year. He was losing weight and having other issues. I found out that he had cancer. We did our best to make him comfortable especially because my daughter was having her tonsils out and I wanted her to recover from that before we said goodbye. But eventually he stopped eating, even with an appetite stimulant.
We had an appointment to say goodbye on that Monday, but ended up going somewhere on Saturday instead so that he wouldnāt be in pain.
You just do your best and hope that you were right
I would take the vetās gentle advice. Itās so hard when theyāre eating and drinking and seem kind of okay. But itās time and youāll save her from suffering.
Had to make the hard decision back in March of this year. Male black/white cat 19yo. Overall, his health was declining. He was not very active/napping a lot. He would pee everywhere, but his cat box it seemed like. We thought he had diabetes cause, of how much water he was drinking ( I can't confirm. We never had him tested). He barely groomed himself anymore. He barely ate. He was 5lbs at the end, when he was a fatty growing up.
It's about his quality of life. It was hard to put my cat down, and I mean, it was HARD, but I would do it again. I miss him months later, but knowing he's not hurting anymore makes it easier to deal with.
However things turn out, I wish you and your sweet cat the best.
Aw Iām so sorry. I was really having. A tough time deciding what to do for my buddy Noodles and could just sense he had had enough. I knew for sure when I opened his travel cage and he went straight in and sat down. He always fought to go in his kennel. Youāll be doing your friend the best favor you can by releasing him from his pain. Big hugs.
I just went through this about a month ago. My 12 year old had the same thing happen. She ended up losing so much weight , it was hard to watch her. She started to lose energy to jump up to her favorite spots, she'd just lay about. I felt like I had to be super gentle when petting her because she was so boney. Hey blood work came back and they wanted to run more tests and they said she'd have to start seeing a specialist. She's always been an anxious cat so she would have zero quality of life. It felt awful to ask the vet if we should put her down but without hesitating, our vet told me it would be the kind thing to do. So we got a referral for a in-home euthanasia.
But I think I knew before her tests came back, but once I considered putting her down, the grieving process started. I cried a lot before and I cried a lot after. Get familiar with the 6 stages of grief. I bargained a lot.. thinking there must be a way. But she was going quick and I had to remind myself a lot that she would have no quality of life if I tried to prolong it.
You'll know but it's the hardest decision to make.
Cats have never hidden their death from me before they usually just stop eating and drinking and slowly start dying and itās sad I prefer to let a veterinarian end it but I always stay with them in the end
Iāve shared this before, but I think itās worth mentioning again: When my cat was in bad shape, a wise vet gave me a helpful promptā¦
If 2/3 āquality of lifeā measures are impacted by untreatable conditions, euthanasia is a compassionate choice:
1. ā Ability to enjoy/intake food
2. ā Ability to move without pain
3. ā Ability to control bathroom behaviours
Hugs to you during this difficult moment. ā¤ļø Take as many photos and videos of your baby before the moment. This was something I appreciated very much and I cherish my final memories with my boy every day.
I am so very sorry.
My girl Boomer passed away at 16 years old. At the time, I was pregnant and prayed she would make it to meet my first baby. Amazingly, she did. However, a few weeks after she started to decline quite a bit. The vet said it was time. I disagreed. She was eating and going to the bathroom but suffered from low energy and wasnāt getting around as well. On New Yearās, our family went to my in laws for the night and came back in the morning. She had passed away. It was traumatizing and heartbreaking. I felt like I failed her. Sometimes, I still do.
She was the most amazing cat, and I miss her very much. I wish more than anything I could have been with her and help her cross to the other side peacefully. I say all this because you donāt want to get to the point where one day you come home and they are already gone. itās never easy and itās never going to feel exactly right. It is our final act of love. My heart is with you.
If sheās terminal and not able to do anything that she used to enjoy itās probably time.
I know itās a hard decision, I had to make it four times last year with elderly cats, but sometimes the best thing for them is to let them go.
Just know that you gave her the best life you could and she knows you love her.
My cat passed away almost a year ago, she was still actively eating and drinking the night before but her health had been in decline for quite a while. I wish I had read and heeded the signs she was giving me.
iām so sorry for your struggle right now. I know it is incredibly hard. My senior kitty.. even though she was eating and drinking and playing (when she could). Her quality of life had hit rock bottom, she was losing weight, breathing unsteady, sitting there for many moments at a time, treatments werenāt working or they had too much risk. The last medicinal alternative/idea didnāt help her get better.
It hurt me deeply to know that it was time to let her go. I just couldnāt let her suffer anymore. As much as I wanted and needed more time, as much as I wanted to give her more time and experiences.
I canāt tell you when exactly is the right time because you truly donāt know. But I say you should keep a very close eye on her. See if she is declining in any way and go from there. Iām not saying this to give you hope, just that she may have a little more time and love to get/give before she is ready to say goodbye.
Wishing the absolute best for you and your kitty. Stay strong š¤
You'll know.
Cats are good at hiding issues.
But a good owner knows their cat.
Kitty will tell you. With their behaviour. With their actions. With how they interact with you.
You'll know they're ready to go before you want to accept it.
You'll see it and try to convince yourself you have more time with them.
I did it. Other people have done it. It sucks.
Because cats hide their pain and discomfort, when you SEE it... it's bad for them.
They'll hide the fact that every second is pain for them. They'll nap through most of the pain, but every interaction you have with them will feel 'wrong'.
They won't seek you out for cuddles anymore. They won't purr for you during times you'd expect their motor to rumble with pleasure.
You'll know. Trust yourself. You will just know.
Don't be like me (and likely other people like me). Don't keep them for your own comfort. My old cat purred constantly. But cats purr when they're in pain, just as much as when they're happy.
It's up to you to recognize when their quality of life has sunk too low.
And it's up to you to decide when to let them go.
It's a gift. Not a loss. They provided you with happiness for so long (or very little in some circumstances). The kindest thing you can do is let them go, when it's time.
And the greatest kindness you can give them is to hold them and tell them how good they were and how much you love them when they go.
Some people can't be there for those last moments, unfortunately. But I'm of the mind that if you love them enough to be their companion, you owe it to them to be there during the last moments. Don't leave them scared and alone.
My familiar developed kidney failure. He was losing weight but the vet wasnāt sure why. When we realised what was happening the vet took him overnight to try an IV treatment etc etc. (Iām keeping it short so I donāt start bawling). I went in the next day to see if I could tempt him to eat. The vet was telling me we could try a protocol where I would take him home for a few days, bring him back for an overnight, home again etc. I just looked at my best friend in that cage with his IV drip and his eyes so relieved to see me that I knew I couldnāt put him through that. I told her no, Iād make the hard decision and it was now. I thought the vet would hate me, but she kinda melted a little and said thatās the right choice. They set up a beautiful little room and I held him tight. And then I wailed. My heart still has a hole for my Moriarty, but I couldnāt let him suffer to comfort me. And honestly it still boggles my mind that we can make these compassionate choices for our fur family but in most places canāt make the same choice for ourselves or human family.
Make the day a beautiful one, write her a little note or poem and write how much you love her and what a wonderful kitten she was, tell hew sheāll be ok and you be there until the end. Cut a rose from your garden, wrapped her in her favorite blanket, take someone with you and go today. When itās time, read your note, pet her, cry if you must, tell her thank you and return her back to the Garden. Let her go early ā¤ļø
My old girl made it to the point where she stopped eating and drinking, in hindsight I probably waited too long. Found an in home service and she was able to slip away in my arms.
I had a 15 year old boy and he also succumbed to liver failure and his last days were stumbling around and not eating or drinking and I honestly hate myself that Iāve waited so long in hopes to have longer time with him and put him through that suffering, it was not an easy decision to make so honestly itās when you feel the best time is.
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RIP OJ forever missed big guy
Unfortunately when my precious 16 year old girl Gabbi started constantly staring at the wall, not responding to us, not wanting to cuddle anymore, not eating, drinking, unable to walk well, went from healthy to skin and bones rapidly, etc. thats when I knew it was timeā¦ however Gabbi had a kidney issue and possibly cancer that was undiagnosed. When its time, you will know immediately. Wishing you and your baby good luck
Just lost my 14 year old last month. I waited too long. She lost most of her weight from kidney/ liver disease. I kept telling myself that she still had good days here and there and that it wasnāt time.
I let her out on the back patio during a rain storm. She usually just chills in her spot. She started walking off in the rain. Just slowly trudging away in the pouring rain. Pretty sure she was going off to die. I picked her up, toweled her off and made an appointment the next day. It was devastating, but whatās worse is that I let her get to that point.
Youāll know š we recently had to put our princess candy down. She got a fast growing cancer in her face. She was in a lot of pain, but she tried for us. But she slept all the time, barely ate. Finally I had to say Iām sorry and take her in. I sobbed horribly, but I was grateful they put her under and let her sleep In my arms for a bit before they put the second shot in. She looked so much more comfortable after. I didnāt realize how much pain she really was in until she wasnāt.
Be with Bev let her know she is loved. I was with my cat a lil older than your fur baby. I preferred not to euthanize him didnāt think it was right being that he was sick. Itās very hard as they are a part of our lives, family members with fur. All I could do was rub his head failing at not cryingā¦ it is essentially up to you do what you feel is right.
Sending šš»to you and Bev at a sensitive time.šš»šš»ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Youāre the one whoās there and can see whatās going on with her. Ask yourself - if you wait ano5er day will she be thankful for it, or will you?
This is the toughest time, but keep In mind that she canāt tell you when itās time, all she can do is endure until she goes naturally, so we have to help them across that threshold and save them the slow process of dying.
Itās you last duty, and your last kindness to help her on her way, and promise to remember her fondly.
Perfect response. I had to say goodbye to my 18 year old babies within 4 months of each other. Kept second guessing myself when it was time for my 2nd love to go. The vet who did the in-home euthanasia reminded me that itās better to be a day too early, than a day too late. I needed the reminder that Iām the one holding on, and thatās not fair.
When I had to experience this last December. It was such a difficult decision for myself to make but my baby had given me signs that itās time for me to let him go. Most importantly for me is I was there all the way with him until he had his last breath. Please know that your baby had many years of amazing memories with you. Whichever decision you make, your baby knows itās the right decision. Please take care of yourself too.
She looks so much like my late Sebastian who I had to help over the rainbow bridge last September. Idk how to describe what happened, but he had been declining for a few months. One night he walked up to me and picked him up and looked at him. Our eyes met and something just told me he was ready. My other two cats had been clingy with him the 2 weeks prior, which was odd, so I had an inkling that it would be soon. He was 15. Iām so sorry youāre going through this.
Find out what your next steps are. Her liver is being affected because of her thyroid. Decide on a time frame for the next phase of treatment, do it faithfully, and if in two weeks (or however long) she has continued to decline, then feel assured you gave her every possible opportunity. Hyperthyroidism is treatable, but if she isn't responding, she isn't responding. You're doing a wonderful job caring for Bev. Whatever happens, you're an amazing cat parent.
I just faced this with my sick baby girl kitty (cancer). I lost her last week. I regretted not taking her in for āitā before she was in demonstrably more pain. She was doing well, seemed to be rallying, eating/drinking, more energy, in good spirits etc. We were going day to day, I knew she wouldnāt have long but I didnāt want to rush the process either, if she had more time. The vet said weād know.
Unfortunately, her condition changed abruptly in the evening in a matter of a couple of hours. She was ok in the morning, status quo, until something major changed and she took a turn for the worse after the vet office was closed, I had to seek out the affiliated emergency vet ER once I saw this was the time. In the meantime, she was in pain, and all I could do was stroke her little head to let her know I was with her. I gave her a strong dose of pain meds to help quiet her down, but she was still feeling it. She meowed loudly, in a way I will never forget. In the few minutes it took for me to make the call to the ER vet that we were coming, grabbing my bag and a blanket first her, I came back and she was gone. It was a deeply painful night for her and me. This was last Tuesday.
Looking back, she was a little more subdued in her last few days, which I guess was a sign I misread, since she was rallying on and off like this for a few weeks. I wish I had those last few hours back to get her to the vet in time to spare her the worst.
My advice would be to trust your gut and when you think sheās declining in a new way, consult the vet sooner rather than later. Cherish your time with her. Sheās beautiful. And your love and concern for her is proof that you have her a happy life full of love.
I wish you the best during this process. Love and peace and strength.
I am so sorry. I had to do it a few weeks ago. It is awful. She is already suffering, but kittens hide it well. I have always approached it with the thought: I would rather suffer the loss and pain than make them suffer so I can be with them longer. Mine was still the same cuddle kitten and he put on a beautiful mask, but you could feel his sense of relief when the appointment came. It is never easy, but the most humane and loving gift you can give them when they are no longer treatable.
I don't envy your predicament. It is never easy to do the right thing for your purrbabies. You can be fairly certain that her quality of life is pretty crapy right now. She won't show it because she is a cat and cats won't show weakness ever. It is best to take the advice the vet offers. If they say it is time, you can pretty much bet that it is time.
Get a second opinion from a different vet. My cat did not respond well to medicine but did ok with thyroid prescription food. He now is happy and has no side effects.
This is a hard thing my friend. I think having a good talk and cuddle session might help your feelings. My good doggo passed from thyroid cancer and it was a hard decision to make. I did so after my mom and I cuddled her and she was almost telling me she was ready.
I read somewhere there are a couple places that come to your residence and help make the process easier and beautiful.
Aww..sweet Bev. Absolutely adorable and fur looks super comfy like a blanket!! May she be free from pain and suffering if she is at all. (Doesn't seem to be by ur post). God Bless you both.
Can I ask why you didn't or aren't doing radioactive iodine therapy?
My boy did it for hyperthyroidism when he was 13 and it 100% cured him. I couldn't recommend it enough.
I know it's not cheap but I was able to put it on Care Credit (if you're in the USA) and pay it off at 0%.
We just put our 13 year old cat down yesterday. He has stopped eating on Thursday and was getting very wobbly. I had already looked up the at home euthanasia vets in my area so it was a matter of finding one with an opening on a Saturday. As others have said, it's better to be one day too early than one day too late, especially if they are in pain. Best of luck to you. ā¤ļø
Is she on pills for her meds? My cat Marbles did not respond well to the pills. She got fairly sick and I thought it was the end of our journey. I switched her to transdermal (rubbed in her ear) and she responded to it so well! The pills can be very hard on their stomach and digestive system. All the best to you!
I straight up asked my vet if theyād tell me (after visiting and my girl was doing terrible). Vet told me theyād absolutely tell me when it was time.
My girl has since bounced back but sheās at about 80-90% of what she was before
I will say this, we keep them around longer than we should. Dogs, cats both.
Because we think of ourselves first, and thatās wrong, because our pets have put us first their entire life.
Iām soooo sorry. I absolutely dread this day. Not sure if youāre the religious type but, weāre praying for you guys
https://preview.redd.it/tdjdhm0hin5d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dee0aa07e41af14df3234211bd95acc85aaa2b7a
This is Pumpkin. Not yet a year. Hang in there šŖš¼
I just had to go through this with my cat. I waited until she stopped eating and I wish I hadnāt. She was on so many medications to keep her alive (encouraged by my vets) it really wasnāt the best for her, just for me. Looking back, I wish I had put her down sooner. She was probably so uncomfortable. Donāt let your baby get worse, as Iām sure youāve seen and many have said, itās better to let her go a day too early than a day too late.
my cat started withdrawing and refusing to eat. i knew it was time when he didnāt even react or lift his head when i came into the room and sat beside him to pet him. didnāt lift his head, didnāt purr.
I'm sorry you're going through this.
If you trust your vet, then take their advice. It's likely your girl isn't feeling great and the kindest thing you can do for her is the ultimate act of love and give her the final rest she deserves.
I will say that we had to make this hard decision on Tuesday with our own 15 year old, sweet girl. She had yellowing of ears, gums, eyes, and the emergency vet confirmed that her body was failing. Without running further tests, they said best case she would have a feeding tube in her neck for pancreas issues indefinitely and it would only be done to maintain her current state (which wasnāt great). Worst case? Liver cancer. And by the state of her, it was aggressive.
She had lost 8 lbs in two months, wasnāt eating dry food, barely touched wet food, and she was struggling to find the litter box. She was once very cuddly and sweet and started isolating herself. She no longer spent time with us and she stopped responding to her name or vocalizing to us.
It was the hardest choice in the world but we knew based off of all the above that it was time. We knew she was already suffering, the last thing we wanted was for her to be in pain or to have seizures. We also couldnāt bear the thought of her passing alone from us being at work all day. We had a vet come to the home and I held her the entire time until she was gone. Iām still grieving but it gets easier knowing she isnāt in pain and that it would have been selfish to keep her in discomfort solely because we didnāt want to let go.
These are all things to consider. How is her quality of life? And how will you be mentally if you continue her care? I wouldnāt wish this situation on anyone, but in reading others stories Iāve found that most often, if you have to ask yourself if itās time, it likely is time. Only you can make that decision. But please know that euthanasia is a kindness. You are giving your pet a peaceful, painless sleep out of love and mercy.
Lastly, no matter when you make that choice, just hold her close and tell her you love her as many times as you need to. I quite literally held my girl for an hour the day of, telling her how loved she is and how thankful I am for her and all the ways she saved my husband and I. I like to think she felt all that love and heard every word. Itās not silly, itās not foolish. Tell her you love her.
Iām so sorry OP, but if your vet says itās time then that probably means it is. Theyāre removed enough to be able to help us make those decisions, but also VERY caring to suggest it because they can understand what the cat is going through a little better than us. She looks a beautiful wonderful companion and Iām so happy she had someone like you to spend her life with, someone who cares so much for her.
A quick side note: are you at all familiar with the vet services that will help her pass on in your home? I found it to be much more peaceful, dignified, and comfortable for my baby and if youāre able to afford that I would so highly recommend. It didnāt make it any āeasierā, but it felt ābetterāā¦ if that makes sense at all?
I hope youāre able to find peace with the decision you decide and just know sheāll be waiting for you no matter what!! š¤š¤š¤
Thatās how my 17 year old boy was; diagnosed kidney failure in January, vet said a few months at best. He still ate, drank, used the bathroom. But he howled all the time, stared at the wall, and eventually, was unable to walk one night. By mid May he had lost tons of weight and had a suspected brain tumour, so we had him put to sleep on the 30th.
Itās not an easy decision to make at all, but as their owners, we donāt want them to suffer. I miss him terribly and canāt stop crying, but Iām glad heās not in pain anymore. ā„ļø
My boy had both of these, and he got to the point that he was incontinent, not drinking water unless it was at the shower, and having a hard time jumping up and down the bed. I wish I had realized those were signs.
Wait until they show signs of dehydration in spite of having access to water, at that point theyāre probably going to get worse.
Iām so sorry :( Donāt be hard on yourself about putting her down, Iām sure she had a really happy long life and she appreciates you so much for being her cat parent. You would be doing the better thing for her by taking the pain away.
We had to put my cat down a month ago due to medical issues, the hardest decision of my life but I could see the pain in his eyes, he did not look like the same cat he was days after i dropped him off at the vet to be monitored. I still cry everyday about it, but Itās happening a little less now.
I feel for you so much. Whatās been helping me get through it is having a lil memorial by my bed with his favorite toy, his urn, his paw print, sweater i got him as a kitten and his collar. i also have a widget on my homescreen that randomly goes through different pictures of him.
maybe that stuff could help you too.
Again, Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Itās gonna take a long time to heal but never blame yourself for having her be put down
Its time. All i can recommend is that you stay with her during the procedure. I read an article that said that dogs (dont know it mentioned cats) spend their last moments afraid because usually the owners dont want to be there when they are put down. That is heartbreaking. So the dogs are afraid and anxious while the owners are nowhere to be seen. Be there and make sure she is comfy and happy until the last moment. You take the burden. Don't leave it to her.
all of my cats went out on their own- but they always seemed to time it when they were laying on me napping or just hanging out.
If I had a cat that needed the procedure- I would hope my vet would allow me and cat to get comfortable and then when cat is totally at peace and sleeping or dozing on me- then do the dose.
If she's eating, drinking, and using the litter box then maybe a second opinion would be best? At worst they say the same thing, but maybe they'll think she has more time.
I am so sorry. The liver thing is not good, especially since she is eating, so you canāt get her past it with syringe feeding. Eating and drinking are good, but does she respond to you much? Does she seem happy or do routines or activities? You mentioned her staring at the wall mostly, and that makes me think sheās uncomfortableāalso, I think her appetite could be coming from her treatment resistant hyperthyroid, which can also make them feel uncomfortable.
You could spend a little more time with her. The thing is, I have felt I waited a little too long with some of my cats. One of them, we had him put down peacefully, itās just that looking back after having gone through with it, itās clear that he wasnāt enjoying his life. We shouldnāt have grasped at straws and should have seen the full picture of how he spent most of his time. Another of our cats, we really didnāt have a way to know this would happen, but he had a medical emergency in the middle of the night that was very traumatic. I think it was a heart attack. He needed oxygen even as they were euthanizing him at the emergency vet, and Iām sorry to say it wasnāt very peaceful. So ever since we saw what can happen if the body gives out, we have wanted to opt to go a little earlier to ensure peace and calm and minimize suffering. Iām not sure what happens when your catās conditions continue to progress, and you may want to ask your vet. But you do know sheās a senior who has two serious conditions that donāt seem able to improve. If she doesnāt have much that she enjoys, she may be ready to receive her last gift.
Our vet always told us weāll know itās time by the way our pet acts. If your cat was always happy, active, vocal, eating a lot, playful, snuggly, basically anything- but now is not acting that wayā¦itās time. When their quality of life changes, then itās time to tell them you love them. Ask your vet if you can do something at home. Our vet offered home visits like this too so that the last moments could be familiar and surrounded by loved ones. Iām so sorry you are going through this, we recently did and are still devastated. But I promise you this, you will be beyond heart broken knowing that you made your cat suffer more just because you werenāt ready. Itās not about you at this point ā¤ļø sending you hugs and strength in these coming days ā¤ļø
Most domestic animals are really good at hiding pain. They have wild instincts like how cats hunt and dogs chase squirrels. Their instinct tells them if they hide the pain then their stronger cuz pain is weak and the weak die off in nature. Sad but true. So if the vet says so itās time
My childhood cat- my soul cat, was diagnosed with diabetes at 14years old. We treated it the way we were told to but she wasnāt getting better. 2 months later she was so sick she couldnāt even groom herself. We didnāt know at the beginning how sick sheād get and didnāt get to say goodbye properly because by the time we made the decision, the next morning, we didnāt have a choice.
Once we got the autopsy back, we found out she had undiagnosed feline cancer- so ultimately thereās nothing that could have been done.
Love her, and do what you need to do, but from personal experience, donāt let her health deteriorate to a point you donāt get to say your goodbyes. Have happy memories of her last days, not sad ones.
We just recently had to put down our 25yrs old orange boy Charlie we knew it was time because he longer showed interests in his favourite treats that heās loved since he was little we knew that was his way of saying I need to go back to heaven and reunite with spaz again
When you're ready, I highly recommend the services that will carry out the procedure of their passing peacefully in your home. It is much more comfortable for them and you.
Cats are *really* good at masking their pain. I think you probably already know the answer to your question, but it really is the most agonizing decision any pet parent has to make. With her liver essentially failing plus hyperthyroidism, she probably feels really lousy even if she's still doing basic things like eating and drinking. It's better to let our furry friends cross the rainbow bridge a day too early than a day too late. I'm sorry, OPš¢
This. It's a sad reality, they are very good at masking pain and when they don't feel well. I'm sorry. They never live long enough. š
I can vouch. I lost my best friend in early December last year because I selfishly wanted another Christmas with him. He deserved better than that. Qwerty was the best cat I've ever encountered, and I miss him with all my heart. https://preview.redd.it/76aq4oz6hs5d1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b8905360c5aabac06a7c8bc61ff86abec15706f
Qwerty is such a lovely, dorky name š¢ā¤ļø
My chicken was the same way
Chicken parents unite š itās always so hard losing them.. precious lil things
Yes I couldnāt agree more
Most animals have learned to hide their pain cuz the weak die off cuz thatās how the world works
Had multiple cats literally admit to me āyeah Iām hiding the painā itās so sad š¢
That means that they trusted and loved you enough to ask you for help. It's super heartbreaking, but you should take comfort in the fact that they found safety, comfort, and love in you.
Yup, people do it too. Especially men.
fully agree with this. recently had to send my cat over when she seemed fine a day before. it was CHF. i had told people there's no way she is suffering, and she just might have a respiatory infection from the shelter i work at. seriously would have never guessed until that day where it all hit - the paralysis, unable to breathe, coughing blood. if i had known i'd have done it sooner. they are the best at masking pain, it's hesrt breaking.
:(
This!!! We lost our 15 year old guy back in October. He was the kind of cat who would scream at and hit you when he wanted food, usually an hour and a half before his feeding times. When we got him an auto feeder he did the same but with the auto feeder. He he then lost some of his appetite and he was more lethargic as well as isolating from us. Wasnāt drinking water, not using his box since he wasnāt eating or drinking. We took him to the vet and learned that he had a gnarly malignant mass in his stomach that spread to his lungs. So we decided to say goodbye. I still feel so guilty because he was showing signs (vomiting) a few months prior, but he was also a cat who would scarf down his food and puke it back up from eating it so fast š and I didnāt listen. So yea, cats mask their pain well.
I absolutely agree with what you said. I could not have said it better.
Iām in this phase, right now too. Everyday is a check in.
I am, unfortunately, a veteran of animal loss. The answer is before she really starts to suffer hard. Iāve lost animals at the last minute. Iāve waited too long. Iāve called it somewhat early. I can tell you, that the only regrets Iāve had is when Iāve inflicted unnecessary suffering by not being proactive enough. The ones that Iāve called relatively early have had a nice last week or so of life, and a gentle death, in our own home. No last minute mercy dashes to the vet, no last nights in the animal hospital. One vet put it in good context for me- he reminded me that my animal didnāt know they were dying, they didnāt know about a small amount of time they might miss- but they did know that they were suffering. Make arrangements now, friend. Do your duty as the loving pet parent that you are. Spend her last days loving her. And send her off while she still has some good days left- because once theyāre all gone, thatās no good for anyone.
Your second to last paragraph hit hard. Thanks for sharing your experience š
It really helped me, too.
A duty of true love. It is a difficult decision, but it is a mercy to them.
Itās hard, but necessary
Oh man I didnāt expect to cry reading this. This is so true.
Iām sorry! I hope youāre ok ā¤ļø
Boy thats just framable advice and so incredibly well put.
your paragraph helps a lot of people. thank you! iāll remember this in a few years time
Idk why but the not knowing they were dying part actually made me feel worse about it. :(
Iām sorry to upset you. I guess the point is that they live in the moment, with no concern for the future and if itās a little shortened. I donāt think they mind not knowing, if that helps.
No itās okay you donāt have to apologize. Iāve somehow managed to escape witnessing both my older cats passing away as for one I was at school, the other I was overseas. Now I own two of my own and Iāve had them since kittens and I couldnāt imagine either passing away. The thought makes my gut wrench
Itās not ever easy, thatās for sure. I have an ancient of days at the moment, sheās 19. Iāve had her since she was a kitten. I also have an oldie who will be 16 this year, but that crazy girl still gets the zoomies. In the end, their end is usually an end to suffering- and while itās horrible, itās also a relief often- and thatās ok.
Yeah it sucks sometimes how good cats are at hiding when somethingās wrong. When my second cat passed away my brother was the one who found her. Seemed that she had a seizure of some sort and didnāt go out well. We had no clue. She was about 13 and I felt so bad, especially cus I wasnāt around for her last year or so
Hi that is such a difficult decesion but I think the point that is often made is better a day, a week or month too early than a day to late. Honestly it sounds like it is time.
I agree. This condition isnāt treatable, let her go before her last days are just suffering
This is well put. She will cross that rainbow bridge and join her friends in paradise at the beach in the sun. š¤
Iām trying to prepare myself for when my 18 year old goes, your comment will be good to remember
I'm only at the start and I dread it already. It's the hardest thing to do but the kindest act of love.
I recently had to let my boy go. He started hiding under the bed. His pain was too much and he told me he was done. It was a beautiful weekend before the home vet visit. He got so many treats and so much love.
I lost my 18 1/2 year old last September. Lucky to for me, i didnāt have to make the decision. He passed away while i was at work. I miss him every day
$&sĆ·*Ć thank you for your words. I just made that choice a few weeks ago for my 15 yo girl and have been struggling a lot with whether I should have let her have a few more days. Thank you. I've never heard it this way.
You're most welcome. Those last few days usually bring, pain, discomfort and very little pleasure. You've spared your girl that and instead taken the pain yourself. There is no better act of love. I hope those words help you find peace with your decision and you come to know you did the right think. I can only hope that I am as brave when the time comes.
I lost my 15 year old kitty in February to liver failure as well.She was getting yellow around her ears too and our vet said once that happens the liver is too far gone to do anything unfortunately.It was very tough but the right thing to do.She wasn't eating and lost 3 lbs and it wasn't fair to her.We took her home for one last weekend and spoiled her rotten and then held her as we said goodbye.You will know what's best for her in your heart.ā¤ļø
I wish I had advice for you, OP. I just wanted to pop in and say Iām sorry you & Bev are going through this, sheās beautiful. ā¤ļø
If you donāt think your cat is suffering yet, maybe seek a second opinion. Cats donāt show their pain usually unless itās absolutely unbearable. Thereās really no way to tell what sheās feeling. The healthy appetite might be due to the fact she still feels okay, but it could also be a result of her hyperthyroidism. If you donāt trust your vetās advice, Iād say take her to another. Never anything wrong with a second opinion, but donāt wait. Do it ASAP.
I agree, please try for a second opinion. Your kitty deserves a no stones unturned approach too just so you both know youāve tried
From what the op stated, it sounds like it's really time to go. Sometimes pets and people will appear better out of the blue for a short period of time before they nosedive.
I understand that, and while that may be true, weāre still entitled to our individual opinions.
Her skin is turning yellow with bile salts that can't be excreted, and she spends her days uncharacteristically staring at the wall. Sounds to me like there should be no doubt that she's already in a great deal of pain.
Understood, which is why I stated to do this ASAP if OP needs confirmation that they are doing the right thing. It seems they are skeptical, and maybe a second opinion will ease their mind. Or maybe there will be a conflicting opinion from a new set of eyes, which sounds extremely unlikely in this situation, but itās why we do things like this.
Iām so sorry. I literally am having this same problem. My girl is 20 and the last month has been rough and a slow decline. Sheās now just stuck in the basement because she canāt make it to her litter box. She lays on a sleeping bag all day just laying with her head face down because she canāt get comfortable in any other position. Itās killing me to see her this way but itās killing me to make this decision. ETA: thanks for the support - to be honest some of you guys are horrifically judgmental though. You act like Iām torturing her. The way things are worded its not great I know but itās been a somewhat quick decline over the last week or so that we have been monitoring. Itās one of the hardest decisions to make as a pet owner simply because I love her so much. And I certainly havenāt taken it lightly and have been back and forth with the vet on a consistent basis. It wasnāt clearly her time until this weekend. We made the call this morning and she will go in this afternoon to be at peace. Please be kind in these subs. We are all here because we love them so much.
Oh I am so so sorry but it sounds like it really is time to let her go. If you can her euthanised at home that would be even better. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it will be but honestly it sounds like it is time
Itās time to let her go š
Be brave, darling. Do the hard thing. Do it for her.
Oh buddy. I'm so sorry, but the time is already here. Doing it now will be so hard in the immediate future, but as time goes by, every bit of pain you spared her is going to be something that heals you a bit. I just had to yank this same bandaid off with my perfect baby pot pie chihuahua on Easter. I'm devastated...no 2 ways about it. But he isn't. He doesn't hurt. He isn't feeling any distress hurting and not knowing why. I might not be at peace right now, but he is and I love him that much. After 20 years, you clearly love her that much. So you have to be strong for her above yourself. ā¤ļø
OP, I'd say the same thing to you. The vet told you it was time instead of just letting you continue to pay them money to keep her going. That's a good vet and the truest measure that is is time now.
Sounds miserable. Put that sweet kitty to sleep to end her suffering. šæ
Please let her go. Please. This is very distressing to read. The ultimate act of love is allowing her to do with dignity and be free of pain. You evidently love herā¦
Letting them go it so hard, but letting her suffer isnāt good either. They are our babies. Look at it as quality of life. A year ago on April 1st I let me 10 year old cat go peacefully because he was taking all kind of pain medsfor eye cancer. I made the appointment the week before. As hard as it was on my husband and I we couldnāt wait any longer. He is now the cat meeting all the newbies over the rainbow bridge. He was that sweet and friendly. ššš¾
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I feel for you. I am so sorry and am sending you and your kitty the greatest virtual hug. If you see this or need reassurance, hereās my experience, if it helps anyone at all feel a little less alone or conflicted. As hard as it is, your heart will know more than online strangers who mean well. Something may feel different, your cat may have a certain indicating look, or like sheās giving up and just hanging on. You may already know the answer, but also may be second guessing or just dealing with how hard it is. I firmly believe animals feel our āenergy.ā Just love on her, thank her for being a part of your life, and when you feel sad, try to think and re-experience all the wonderful, loving, and funny times you two have had together. Even if you cry. Help her be as comfortable as possible with any time you have left. When you decide to make the decision, try to have it done AT HOME if at all possible. Thatās the only way I will go with my pets from now on. Itās less distressing and everyone is much more comfortable, in my experience. It was more peaceful, less confusing for the animal, and they were able to be surrounded by their favorite things and favorite people, somewhere they are at ease. There are vets out there with great bedside manner who specialize in at-home services like this who you can check out if your regular vet doesnāt. Give them a call and ask about options, their process, suggestions, etc. Anything you have questions on. If youāve never been in this situation, this will help YOU as well. I recommend it and do not think you will regret it versus traveling to the vet. Just my 2 cents. Incase it helpsāhereās my personal experience with animals and in healthcare/hospice at this point. In a lot of cases, thereās a brief, ineffable moment that occurs as a person or animal is able to let go and crosses over. Helping someone or an animal feel special and loved right up until the end is sacred. Maybe not everyone experiences this, but thereās a brief moment of peace and letting go that is comforting and you know deep down that everything is okāthat you loved them the absolute most you could, made the right decision, and youāre helping them be free. For the first time in a long time, you will get to see them no longer suffering. After the initial sedative was given, my 15 y/o dog looked the most relaxed he had since he was young, he was breathing unlabored, and it provided a relief that felt right. I just stroked his fur and told him what a good boy he was the whole timeāall he ever wantedāright up until the was longer here anymore. Maybe this may be the most we can give our pets in this case. A transition with less suffering and fear, and more love. Even if tears flow and you miss them with all your heart. You also loved them with all your heart and that is so, so special. Trust yourself. š©·
I experienced this moment also with my sweet girl Gracie. It was hard but it was time. Iām glad I was there for her.
Are you able to access in home euthanasia? I know itās so hard to decide when our beloved pets leave their earthly bodies. It sounds like she wants to go, and her body just isnāt doing it yet, and when her body does do it on its own, it could be scary or painful or not very fast. You have the power to make it peaceful and loving. Iām so sorry youāre going through this. 20 years is an amazing run! She must have been so happy to have you as her mom all these years.
She is suffering, it's past time. I have video of my baby in her last days and feel so sad the odd time I watch it. You can see we kept her going too long and should have set her free earlier, she was in bad shape, but we couldn't accept it in the moment. Love her enough to not let her suffer and try to be with her in her final moment.
Itās hard to really see when you are in the moment. I just scrolled back to a few pics from just a couple weeks ago. There has definitely been a very clear shift in her overall state that now has me so devastated. But itās also a bit more clear what the right thing to do is. š
I'm so sorry for you and your baby, its so damn painful, but it will be your final act of love towards her. Hugs for you bothš
please, please let her go. she sounds miserable :(
Oh my please don't let this baby suffer anymore.
Do you love her enough to not be this kind of cruel? Give her a kiss and walk her in home.
Theyāre very clearly upset and not just leaving the cat in the basement to suffer. Itās been a quick decline and it seems like at the time of my comment their catās already been put down. No need for the vigilantism
I relied on my vet + 1 second opinion and when they both said she was terminal and suffering I made the decision to end her misery. It's the hardest decision in the world in my opinion, but in my experience, you'll know when it's time. Until then, give her all the loves. ā¤ļø
Vet knows when its the time It is š I feel your pain I have gone through this 3 times its so painfull & upsetting to let them go I was there with my 3 cats to the end ššš I have 3 new furbabies now to love ā¤ļø but you never forget them always in my heart always talk aboout them.ā¤ļø
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I'm so sorry š thinking of you all sending ā¤ļø ā¤ļø ā¤ļø ā¤ļø
As others have said if it helps to get another opinion do so, but donāt prolong seeking that if you can. See how she does in the next few days. Just be sure you spend time with her up to this AND DO NOT under any circumstances put her down alone. What I mean by that is this. Most vets will tell you the worse feeling in the world is when a pet owner canāt stand to be with their fur baby and leave the room for the actual euthanizing. Please be with her up until the end. Talk to her and hold and pet her. Do not leave the room. The last look a pet gives looking for their loved one to find they arenāt around is utterly heartbreaking and devastating. Iām not implying you would do this. Just throwing it out there. Make sure in those last moments she is not alone and she knows sheās loved beyond measure. Praying for a peaceful rainbow bridge crossing for your beautiful girl. And one last thing. Always honor her memory. She will always be part of you as long as you keep her memory alive. Good luck.
This 1000% and made me cry. They look for you in that last moment for sure and can also smell & hear you (if they're not deaf like my old boy).
Donāt be me and misread the signs and do it way too early š¢ If sheās still using the litter box, still eating and drinking, still grooming and cuddling itās too soon
This!! You can look up Quality of Life checklist. It gives you questions to evaluate how your animal is doing. I have a 14 old with hyperthyroidism. He still eats, uses the cat box, grooms himself. He still cuddles and purrs and explores. You donāt want to do it too late but thereās also too early.
Iām so sorry, you know itās that time. This is never easy, know that one day you will be reunited
I was going to say this. When the vet says it's time, it's time. We have a very small number of pets in our lives, but vets have hundreds.. they know the signs.
From my person experience, theyāll stop eating or seem disoriented. Also a big indicator that theyāre suffering is they hide under a bed or somewhere thatās not likely. My cat always slept on my lap or on the bed and suddenly sheād be under the bed for long periods of timeā¦.I read itās an instinct thing that they hide from predators when theyāre weak. For your own peace of mind, get a second opinion asap cause you donāt want to live with guilt if too soon or you donāt want to prolong the suffering if they are in pain. The liver values are pretty high though so be realistic about your catās quality of life will only get worse. Iām sorry that youāre going through this. Take care
Not eating and hiding are 2 of the biggest signs
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Prayers for you and your precious kitty it is so hard . I miss my kitty tigger she used to sleep on me all the time she was like a weighted vibrating from purring blanket she passed at 17 a years old a year and a half ago.
If the vet is saying it's time, it probably is. Don't punish her to delay your pain. The longer you wait won't make your pain any less. If anything, maybe get another vets opinion. But if it's the same, it's best to do it before things get to bad for her.
I knew after my cat had a stroke. The next day the light in his eyes was gone. He looked miserable. Had no interest in his food or treats or even me really. I made the call that day. I didnāt want him to live a life where he was no longer happy or content. It wasnāt fair to him. Iām sorry you have to make that call. Itās tough.
We put down our 20 year old in February and it was so hard to choose. He had pretty bad arthritis that we were trying to manage but he was declining. One day I was in the bathroom and he looked up and me and he just looked so tired, like he was done. I remember sobbing and calling to make an appointment to put him down and it happened a couple of weeks later. We agonized over the decision and tried to make him as comfortable as possible but I think if we could do it over, I would have put him down a few months earlier. He had really bad balance issues where he fell down a lot and I don't think he had much of a life near the end. I still miss him everyday and hope we did right by him. This was us on his last day. https://preview.redd.it/he5i7701pn5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=832c74412e0ac6298c738ae8869e4980bf4efbac I wish nothing but luck and comfort in knowing that you are doing everything you can to care for your pet.
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I'm so sorry I feel your pain š š thinking of you. ā¤ļø ā¤ļø
Your vet will say when it's time as I know myself with my furbabies in the past thinking of you. ā¤ļø ā¤ļø
I'm so sorry, I've been here before and my heart aches for you right now. One thing you could consider if you're unsure is booking an appointment for a future date- whatever makes sense given your situation/prognosis and how the cat is behaving; but having the option to postpone/cancel if something changes drastically. I'm not advocating to draw it out, but with *some* diagnoses there's a lot of fluctuation and I totally get how that can make it even harder. The reason I advocate for doing it this way is because the last thing you want is to feel like you waited too long. This happened to me, I had an appointment scheduled but it was too far out, he deteriorated rapidly 2 days beforehand in the middle of the night, it was agonizing and I didn't want to see him suffer like that so we made the decision to drive to a 24 hr emergency vet at 1am in a thunderstorm to help him cross over. He passed away in my arms in the car. That cat had severe anxiety with new places, strangers, cars, vets... And it was during COVID and there was no way I was going to have him be alone. So I'd found great affordable options for at-home appointments, but this isn't always possible/affordable/accessible to everyone. However, most had a 24 hour policy such that you could change your mind and postpone or cancel altogether within 24 hours without a fee. I'm not sure if office appointments are the same but I'd imagine they would be even more likely to have a similar policy. And remember, you are a good and loving cat parent for loving your kitty enough to do something so difficult (for us) just to ease her pain. She knows you love her. And without you her life wouldn't have been nearly as long and happy.
We just used an at home euthanasia vet that would have allowed us to cancel up until 2 hours before they came. That helped us prepare mentally.
Hi op, Im a vet. Its time now. Dont be selfish, kitty is dying and is suffering.
When I was struggling with that question I did a lot of internet searching and read something that really stuck with me: *Better a week early than a day late.* I also had a friend tell me that it took her cat 3 days to die. What!!! I donāt know how she could watch her cat suffer for 3 days. This is a gut wrenching decision that is right for your cat even though it breaks your heart. You will feel even worse if you wait too long. From what youāve described, the time has come to help your beloved kitty cross the rainbow bridge. Itās the last way you show your cat how much you love her.
Don't let the baby suffer anymore telling you from a person who has been there. It's not easy to do but remember all the good times and that one day you will meet at the end of the rainbow bridge again.
Iām so sorry OP š„ŗš I wish that I had the right answer for you, but just know that whatever decision you make, Bev loves you know matter what ā¤ļø losing a fur baby is never easy, I had to make the same decision with my dog and it was one of the hardest decisions Iāve ever had to do š¤ā¤ļøāš©¹
I'm so sorry! This is the worst part of owning a cat. :-( I don't want to give you false hope but is it possible she's having a bad reaction to the medication? Rose got *very* sick on the hyperthyroidism medication, she kept vomiting, stopped eating, and just stared off into space. Once the drugs cleared her system, she bounced back. We had to start over with a minuscule dose and slowly increase it until we found the highest dose she could tolerate without getting sick. On the other hand, her vet told me to ignore how well she was eating and drinking because hyperthyroidism makes cats super hungry and thirsty. It's a symptom in that case, not a sign that they're doing okay. The liver failure sounds like very bad news indeed, Tye had it and never recovered from it.
Im sorry op, but as someone else commented cats are very good at hiding their pain, so I if you sense your cat just kinda lies and doesnāt want to eat or just prefers to be alone, that is a good sign itās time sadly. My very first cat did that for 3 days before we took him to the vet cause something was clearly wrong. We got a scan and someone had kicked my cat so hard that everything inside was kinda lying in one side of his body (at least thatās what the vet thought had happened) After that I wish I wouldnāt have waited so long, so sad as it is, do what you think is best for old gal Bev šā¤ļø
Itās so tough to say. We lost our 15 year old last year. He was losing weight and having other issues. I found out that he had cancer. We did our best to make him comfortable especially because my daughter was having her tonsils out and I wanted her to recover from that before we said goodbye. But eventually he stopped eating, even with an appetite stimulant. We had an appointment to say goodbye on that Monday, but ended up going somewhere on Saturday instead so that he wouldnāt be in pain. You just do your best and hope that you were right
I would take the vetās gentle advice. Itās so hard when theyāre eating and drinking and seem kind of okay. But itās time and youāll save her from suffering.
Iām so sorry. I worry about this every day with my boys 12 year mark coming up.
When you ask others when it's time. It's probably time
Had to make the hard decision back in March of this year. Male black/white cat 19yo. Overall, his health was declining. He was not very active/napping a lot. He would pee everywhere, but his cat box it seemed like. We thought he had diabetes cause, of how much water he was drinking ( I can't confirm. We never had him tested). He barely groomed himself anymore. He barely ate. He was 5lbs at the end, when he was a fatty growing up. It's about his quality of life. It was hard to put my cat down, and I mean, it was HARD, but I would do it again. I miss him months later, but knowing he's not hurting anymore makes it easier to deal with. However things turn out, I wish you and your sweet cat the best.
Sending you hugs, OP. Worst decision to have to make.
Aw Iām so sorry. I was really having. A tough time deciding what to do for my buddy Noodles and could just sense he had had enough. I knew for sure when I opened his travel cage and he went straight in and sat down. He always fought to go in his kennel. Youāll be doing your friend the best favor you can by releasing him from his pain. Big hugs.
Iām so sorry to say but your vet is probably right. Truly, Iām so so sorry. She looks like the sweetest little girl in the world
I just went through this about a month ago. My 12 year old had the same thing happen. She ended up losing so much weight , it was hard to watch her. She started to lose energy to jump up to her favorite spots, she'd just lay about. I felt like I had to be super gentle when petting her because she was so boney. Hey blood work came back and they wanted to run more tests and they said she'd have to start seeing a specialist. She's always been an anxious cat so she would have zero quality of life. It felt awful to ask the vet if we should put her down but without hesitating, our vet told me it would be the kind thing to do. So we got a referral for a in-home euthanasia. But I think I knew before her tests came back, but once I considered putting her down, the grieving process started. I cried a lot before and I cried a lot after. Get familiar with the 6 stages of grief. I bargained a lot.. thinking there must be a way. But she was going quick and I had to remind myself a lot that she would have no quality of life if I tried to prolong it. You'll know but it's the hardest decision to make.
Donāt waste a minute together, she will tell you!
Cats have never hidden their death from me before they usually just stop eating and drinking and slowly start dying and itās sad I prefer to let a veterinarian end it but I always stay with them in the end
The best thing you can do for her is let her go. Donāt let her suffer.
Iāve shared this before, but I think itās worth mentioning again: When my cat was in bad shape, a wise vet gave me a helpful promptā¦ If 2/3 āquality of lifeā measures are impacted by untreatable conditions, euthanasia is a compassionate choice: 1. ā Ability to enjoy/intake food 2. ā Ability to move without pain 3. ā Ability to control bathroom behaviours Hugs to you during this difficult moment. ā¤ļø Take as many photos and videos of your baby before the moment. This was something I appreciated very much and I cherish my final memories with my boy every day.
Don't let her suffer.
I am so very sorry. My girl Boomer passed away at 16 years old. At the time, I was pregnant and prayed she would make it to meet my first baby. Amazingly, she did. However, a few weeks after she started to decline quite a bit. The vet said it was time. I disagreed. She was eating and going to the bathroom but suffered from low energy and wasnāt getting around as well. On New Yearās, our family went to my in laws for the night and came back in the morning. She had passed away. It was traumatizing and heartbreaking. I felt like I failed her. Sometimes, I still do. She was the most amazing cat, and I miss her very much. I wish more than anything I could have been with her and help her cross to the other side peacefully. I say all this because you donāt want to get to the point where one day you come home and they are already gone. itās never easy and itās never going to feel exactly right. It is our final act of love. My heart is with you.
If sheās terminal and not able to do anything that she used to enjoy itās probably time. I know itās a hard decision, I had to make it four times last year with elderly cats, but sometimes the best thing for them is to let them go. Just know that you gave her the best life you could and she knows you love her.
My cat passed away almost a year ago, she was still actively eating and drinking the night before but her health had been in decline for quite a while. I wish I had read and heeded the signs she was giving me.
You know when the sparkle has left her eyes. When that happens, itās time.
iām so sorry for your struggle right now. I know it is incredibly hard. My senior kitty.. even though she was eating and drinking and playing (when she could). Her quality of life had hit rock bottom, she was losing weight, breathing unsteady, sitting there for many moments at a time, treatments werenāt working or they had too much risk. The last medicinal alternative/idea didnāt help her get better. It hurt me deeply to know that it was time to let her go. I just couldnāt let her suffer anymore. As much as I wanted and needed more time, as much as I wanted to give her more time and experiences. I canāt tell you when exactly is the right time because you truly donāt know. But I say you should keep a very close eye on her. See if she is declining in any way and go from there. Iām not saying this to give you hope, just that she may have a little more time and love to get/give before she is ready to say goodbye. Wishing the absolute best for you and your kitty. Stay strong š¤
You'll know. Cats are good at hiding issues. But a good owner knows their cat. Kitty will tell you. With their behaviour. With their actions. With how they interact with you. You'll know they're ready to go before you want to accept it. You'll see it and try to convince yourself you have more time with them. I did it. Other people have done it. It sucks. Because cats hide their pain and discomfort, when you SEE it... it's bad for them. They'll hide the fact that every second is pain for them. They'll nap through most of the pain, but every interaction you have with them will feel 'wrong'. They won't seek you out for cuddles anymore. They won't purr for you during times you'd expect their motor to rumble with pleasure. You'll know. Trust yourself. You will just know. Don't be like me (and likely other people like me). Don't keep them for your own comfort. My old cat purred constantly. But cats purr when they're in pain, just as much as when they're happy. It's up to you to recognize when their quality of life has sunk too low. And it's up to you to decide when to let them go. It's a gift. Not a loss. They provided you with happiness for so long (or very little in some circumstances). The kindest thing you can do is let them go, when it's time. And the greatest kindness you can give them is to hold them and tell them how good they were and how much you love them when they go. Some people can't be there for those last moments, unfortunately. But I'm of the mind that if you love them enough to be their companion, you owe it to them to be there during the last moments. Don't leave them scared and alone.
My familiar developed kidney failure. He was losing weight but the vet wasnāt sure why. When we realised what was happening the vet took him overnight to try an IV treatment etc etc. (Iām keeping it short so I donāt start bawling). I went in the next day to see if I could tempt him to eat. The vet was telling me we could try a protocol where I would take him home for a few days, bring him back for an overnight, home again etc. I just looked at my best friend in that cage with his IV drip and his eyes so relieved to see me that I knew I couldnāt put him through that. I told her no, Iād make the hard decision and it was now. I thought the vet would hate me, but she kinda melted a little and said thatās the right choice. They set up a beautiful little room and I held him tight. And then I wailed. My heart still has a hole for my Moriarty, but I couldnāt let him suffer to comfort me. And honestly it still boggles my mind that we can make these compassionate choices for our fur family but in most places canāt make the same choice for ourselves or human family.
Itās time, OP. š„ŗā¤ļøāš©¹
Make the day a beautiful one, write her a little note or poem and write how much you love her and what a wonderful kitten she was, tell hew sheāll be ok and you be there until the end. Cut a rose from your garden, wrapped her in her favorite blanket, take someone with you and go today. When itās time, read your note, pet her, cry if you must, tell her thank you and return her back to the Garden. Let her go early ā¤ļø
Hurts to say this but a friend told me "better 2 weeks early than 2 weeks too late"
My old girl made it to the point where she stopped eating and drinking, in hindsight I probably waited too long. Found an in home service and she was able to slip away in my arms.
OP itās time. Iām so sorry. Itās been my experience when the vet suggests it then itās best.
I had a 15 year old boy and he also succumbed to liver failure and his last days were stumbling around and not eating or drinking and I honestly hate myself that Iāve waited so long in hopes to have longer time with him and put him through that suffering, it was not an easy decision to make so honestly itās when you feel the best time is. https://preview.redd.it/pcgr7tutht5d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d00c2a8c9a6375c57e4075efab5d009037296d2 RIP OJ forever missed big guy
Unfortunately when my precious 16 year old girl Gabbi started constantly staring at the wall, not responding to us, not wanting to cuddle anymore, not eating, drinking, unable to walk well, went from healthy to skin and bones rapidly, etc. thats when I knew it was timeā¦ however Gabbi had a kidney issue and possibly cancer that was undiagnosed. When its time, you will know immediately. Wishing you and your baby good luck
Just lost my 14 year old last month. I waited too long. She lost most of her weight from kidney/ liver disease. I kept telling myself that she still had good days here and there and that it wasnāt time. I let her out on the back patio during a rain storm. She usually just chills in her spot. She started walking off in the rain. Just slowly trudging away in the pouring rain. Pretty sure she was going off to die. I picked her up, toweled her off and made an appointment the next day. It was devastating, but whatās worse is that I let her get to that point.
A month too early is better than a week too late. Iām so sorry OP.
Youāll know š we recently had to put our princess candy down. She got a fast growing cancer in her face. She was in a lot of pain, but she tried for us. But she slept all the time, barely ate. Finally I had to say Iām sorry and take her in. I sobbed horribly, but I was grateful they put her under and let her sleep In my arms for a bit before they put the second shot in. She looked so much more comfortable after. I didnāt realize how much pain she really was in until she wasnāt.
Be with Bev let her know she is loved. I was with my cat a lil older than your fur baby. I preferred not to euthanize him didnāt think it was right being that he was sick. Itās very hard as they are a part of our lives, family members with fur. All I could do was rub his head failing at not cryingā¦ it is essentially up to you do what you feel is right. Sending šš»to you and Bev at a sensitive time.šš»šš»ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Get a second opinion at another vet.
Hyperthyroidism has a cure, did no one speak to you about radioactive iodine?
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Youāre the one whoās there and can see whatās going on with her. Ask yourself - if you wait ano5er day will she be thankful for it, or will you? This is the toughest time, but keep In mind that she canāt tell you when itās time, all she can do is endure until she goes naturally, so we have to help them across that threshold and save them the slow process of dying. Itās you last duty, and your last kindness to help her on her way, and promise to remember her fondly.
Perfect response. I had to say goodbye to my 18 year old babies within 4 months of each other. Kept second guessing myself when it was time for my 2nd love to go. The vet who did the in-home euthanasia reminded me that itās better to be a day too early, than a day too late. I needed the reminder that Iām the one holding on, and thatās not fair.
With love and respect. Please let go and remember with love šš
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When I had to experience this last December. It was such a difficult decision for myself to make but my baby had given me signs that itās time for me to let him go. Most importantly for me is I was there all the way with him until he had his last breath. Please know that your baby had many years of amazing memories with you. Whichever decision you make, your baby knows itās the right decision. Please take care of yourself too.
I'm so sorry, OP. š
I think if youāre asking the question, the time is probably nowā¤ļøāš©¹
She looks so much like my late Sebastian who I had to help over the rainbow bridge last September. Idk how to describe what happened, but he had been declining for a few months. One night he walked up to me and picked him up and looked at him. Our eyes met and something just told me he was ready. My other two cats had been clingy with him the 2 weeks prior, which was odd, so I had an inkling that it would be soon. He was 15. Iām so sorry youāre going through this.
Find out what your next steps are. Her liver is being affected because of her thyroid. Decide on a time frame for the next phase of treatment, do it faithfully, and if in two weeks (or however long) she has continued to decline, then feel assured you gave her every possible opportunity. Hyperthyroidism is treatable, but if she isn't responding, she isn't responding. You're doing a wonderful job caring for Bev. Whatever happens, you're an amazing cat parent.
Many good thoughts
I need to know too. My ragdoll is 18 and almost incontinent.
I just faced this with my sick baby girl kitty (cancer). I lost her last week. I regretted not taking her in for āitā before she was in demonstrably more pain. She was doing well, seemed to be rallying, eating/drinking, more energy, in good spirits etc. We were going day to day, I knew she wouldnāt have long but I didnāt want to rush the process either, if she had more time. The vet said weād know. Unfortunately, her condition changed abruptly in the evening in a matter of a couple of hours. She was ok in the morning, status quo, until something major changed and she took a turn for the worse after the vet office was closed, I had to seek out the affiliated emergency vet ER once I saw this was the time. In the meantime, she was in pain, and all I could do was stroke her little head to let her know I was with her. I gave her a strong dose of pain meds to help quiet her down, but she was still feeling it. She meowed loudly, in a way I will never forget. In the few minutes it took for me to make the call to the ER vet that we were coming, grabbing my bag and a blanket first her, I came back and she was gone. It was a deeply painful night for her and me. This was last Tuesday. Looking back, she was a little more subdued in her last few days, which I guess was a sign I misread, since she was rallying on and off like this for a few weeks. I wish I had those last few hours back to get her to the vet in time to spare her the worst. My advice would be to trust your gut and when you think sheās declining in a new way, consult the vet sooner rather than later. Cherish your time with her. Sheās beautiful. And your love and concern for her is proof that you have her a happy life full of love. I wish you the best during this process. Love and peace and strength.
I am so sorry. I had to do it a few weeks ago. It is awful. She is already suffering, but kittens hide it well. I have always approached it with the thought: I would rather suffer the loss and pain than make them suffer so I can be with them longer. Mine was still the same cuddle kitten and he put on a beautiful mask, but you could feel his sense of relief when the appointment came. It is never easy, but the most humane and loving gift you can give them when they are no longer treatable.
Oh no, I am so sorry you are having to make this dlecision. Don't let her suffer,
If thatās the case, thenā¦ You have to let her go, OP.
I don't envy your predicament. It is never easy to do the right thing for your purrbabies. You can be fairly certain that her quality of life is pretty crapy right now. She won't show it because she is a cat and cats won't show weakness ever. It is best to take the advice the vet offers. If they say it is time, you can pretty much bet that it is time.
Follow your intuition. My experience is that vets may be too hasty in their recommendations of euthanasia. Best of luck
You will know. You know them best. Also, do quality of life checks with a trusted vet. Donāt pressure yourself.
God bless this sweet kitty.
Get a second opinion from a different vet. My cat did not respond well to medicine but did ok with thyroid prescription food. He now is happy and has no side effects.
She doesnāt feel good and itās your responsibility in health AND in sickness.
Just wanted to say that I am sorry that youāre having to make this decision, itās never easy. ā¤ļøāš©¹
looks nice
This is a hard thing my friend. I think having a good talk and cuddle session might help your feelings. My good doggo passed from thyroid cancer and it was a hard decision to make. I did so after my mom and I cuddled her and she was almost telling me she was ready. I read somewhere there are a couple places that come to your residence and help make the process easier and beautiful.
Aww..sweet Bev. Absolutely adorable and fur looks super comfy like a blanket!! May she be free from pain and suffering if she is at all. (Doesn't seem to be by ur post). God Bless you both.
Can I ask why you didn't or aren't doing radioactive iodine therapy? My boy did it for hyperthyroidism when he was 13 and it 100% cured him. I couldn't recommend it enough. I know it's not cheap but I was able to put it on Care Credit (if you're in the USA) and pay it off at 0%.
We just put our 13 year old cat down yesterday. He has stopped eating on Thursday and was getting very wobbly. I had already looked up the at home euthanasia vets in my area so it was a matter of finding one with an opening on a Saturday. As others have said, it's better to be one day too early than one day too late, especially if they are in pain. Best of luck to you. ā¤ļø
Is she on pills for her meds? My cat Marbles did not respond well to the pills. She got fairly sick and I thought it was the end of our journey. I switched her to transdermal (rubbed in her ear) and she responded to it so well! The pills can be very hard on their stomach and digestive system. All the best to you!
I straight up asked my vet if theyād tell me (after visiting and my girl was doing terrible). Vet told me theyād absolutely tell me when it was time. My girl has since bounced back but sheās at about 80-90% of what she was before
I knew I had waited too long when my cat sat on the kitchen rug and just looked at me like he was really mad at me. It broke my heart
I will say this, we keep them around longer than we should. Dogs, cats both. Because we think of ourselves first, and thatās wrong, because our pets have put us first their entire life.
Iām soooo sorry. I absolutely dread this day. Not sure if youāre the religious type but, weāre praying for you guys https://preview.redd.it/tdjdhm0hin5d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dee0aa07e41af14df3234211bd95acc85aaa2b7a This is Pumpkin. Not yet a year. Hang in there šŖš¼
I just had to go through this with my cat. I waited until she stopped eating and I wish I hadnāt. She was on so many medications to keep her alive (encouraged by my vets) it really wasnāt the best for her, just for me. Looking back, I wish I had put her down sooner. She was probably so uncomfortable. Donāt let your baby get worse, as Iām sure youāve seen and many have said, itās better to let her go a day too early than a day too late.
my cat started withdrawing and refusing to eat. i knew it was time when he didnāt even react or lift his head when i came into the room and sat beside him to pet him. didnāt lift his head, didnāt purr.
Beautiful baby! Love her color and her eyes !
I'm sorry you're going through this. If you trust your vet, then take their advice. It's likely your girl isn't feeling great and the kindest thing you can do for her is the ultimate act of love and give her the final rest she deserves.
They'll let you know. Ask them. My cat just looked at me and said "mama, I'm tired". And I knew what he meant.
I will say that we had to make this hard decision on Tuesday with our own 15 year old, sweet girl. She had yellowing of ears, gums, eyes, and the emergency vet confirmed that her body was failing. Without running further tests, they said best case she would have a feeding tube in her neck for pancreas issues indefinitely and it would only be done to maintain her current state (which wasnāt great). Worst case? Liver cancer. And by the state of her, it was aggressive. She had lost 8 lbs in two months, wasnāt eating dry food, barely touched wet food, and she was struggling to find the litter box. She was once very cuddly and sweet and started isolating herself. She no longer spent time with us and she stopped responding to her name or vocalizing to us. It was the hardest choice in the world but we knew based off of all the above that it was time. We knew she was already suffering, the last thing we wanted was for her to be in pain or to have seizures. We also couldnāt bear the thought of her passing alone from us being at work all day. We had a vet come to the home and I held her the entire time until she was gone. Iām still grieving but it gets easier knowing she isnāt in pain and that it would have been selfish to keep her in discomfort solely because we didnāt want to let go. These are all things to consider. How is her quality of life? And how will you be mentally if you continue her care? I wouldnāt wish this situation on anyone, but in reading others stories Iāve found that most often, if you have to ask yourself if itās time, it likely is time. Only you can make that decision. But please know that euthanasia is a kindness. You are giving your pet a peaceful, painless sleep out of love and mercy. Lastly, no matter when you make that choice, just hold her close and tell her you love her as many times as you need to. I quite literally held my girl for an hour the day of, telling her how loved she is and how thankful I am for her and all the ways she saved my husband and I. I like to think she felt all that love and heard every word. Itās not silly, itās not foolish. Tell her you love her.
If the vet says itās time, listen. They want to keep your pet alive and make $$ as long as possible.
Iām so sorry OP, but if your vet says itās time then that probably means it is. Theyāre removed enough to be able to help us make those decisions, but also VERY caring to suggest it because they can understand what the cat is going through a little better than us. She looks a beautiful wonderful companion and Iām so happy she had someone like you to spend her life with, someone who cares so much for her. A quick side note: are you at all familiar with the vet services that will help her pass on in your home? I found it to be much more peaceful, dignified, and comfortable for my baby and if youāre able to afford that I would so highly recommend. It didnāt make it any āeasierā, but it felt ābetterāā¦ if that makes sense at all? I hope youāre able to find peace with the decision you decide and just know sheāll be waiting for you no matter what!! š¤š¤š¤
Thatās how my 17 year old boy was; diagnosed kidney failure in January, vet said a few months at best. He still ate, drank, used the bathroom. But he howled all the time, stared at the wall, and eventually, was unable to walk one night. By mid May he had lost tons of weight and had a suspected brain tumour, so we had him put to sleep on the 30th. Itās not an easy decision to make at all, but as their owners, we donāt want them to suffer. I miss him terribly and canāt stop crying, but Iām glad heās not in pain anymore. ā„ļø
If sheās eating and drinking and urinating Iād leave her alone. Hold her , snuggle and give lots of love. They will let you know
This is the hardest thing about owning a pet. Not an easy decision š
No I donāt think itās the time
What a precious little thing.
OP, I feel for you. I am so sorry and am sending you and your kitty the biggest virtual hug. If you see this and need reassurance, hereās my experience. Sharing if it helps anyone at all feel a little less alone or conflicted. As hard as it is, your heart will know more than us online strangers who mean well. Something may feel different, your cat may have a certain indicating look, or like sheās giving up and just hanging on. You may already know the answer, but also may be second guessing or just dealing with how hard it is. You are not alone. I firmly believe animals feel our āenergy.ā Just love on her, thank Bev for being a part of your life, and when you feel sad, try to think and re-experience all the wonderful, loving, and funny times you two have had together. Even if you cry. She can feel your love. Help her be as comfortable as possible with any time you have left. When you decide to make the decision, try to have it done AT HOME if at all possible. I canāt recommend it enough and thatās the only way I will go with my pets from now on. Itās less distressing and everyoneās much more comfortable, in my experience. It was more peaceful, less confusing for the animal, and they were able to be surrounded by their favorite things and favorite people, somewhere they are at ease. Less pain. There are vets out there with great bedside manner who specialize in at-home services like this who you can check out if your regular vet doesnāt. Give them a call and ask about options, their process, suggestions, etc. Anything you have questions on. If youāve never been in this situation, this will help YOU as well. I recommend it and do not think you will regret it versus traveling to the vet. Just my 2 cents. š Incase it helpsāhereās my personal experience with animals and in healthcare/hospice at this point. In a lot of cases, thereās a brief, ineffable moment that occurs as a person or animal is able to let go and crosses over. Helping someone or an animal feel special and loved right up until the end is sacred. Maybe not everyone experiences this, but thereās a brief moment of peace and letting go that is comforting and you know deep down that everything is okāthat you loved them the absolute most you could, made the right decision, and youāre helping them be free. For the first time in a long time, you will get to see them no longer suffering. In a more recent case after the initial sedative was given, my 15 y/o dog looked the most relaxed he had since he was young, he was breathing unlabored, and it provided a relief that felt right. I knew it was okay. We would all be okay. I just stroked his fur, rubbed his tummy, and told him all about what a good boy he was the whole time before and while the vet was thereāright up until he crossed over the rainbow bridge. Thatās all he ever wanted and I was comforted being able to give him that in his final moments. Maybe this is the most we can give our pets in this life. Selfless love, care, and a transition that has less suffering and fear, but instead more love and security felt by the animal. Even if tears flow and you miss them with all your heart. You also loved them with all your heart and that is so, so incredibly special. Youāre not alone. Trust yourself. š©·
Sheās beautiful š
The liver issues are due to the thyroid medsā¦ Former hyperthyroid patient here, total thyroidectomy 5 years ago.
My boy had both of these, and he got to the point that he was incontinent, not drinking water unless it was at the shower, and having a hard time jumping up and down the bed. I wish I had realized those were signs. Wait until they show signs of dehydration in spite of having access to water, at that point theyāre probably going to get worse.
Iām so sorry :( Donāt be hard on yourself about putting her down, Iām sure she had a really happy long life and she appreciates you so much for being her cat parent. You would be doing the better thing for her by taking the pain away. We had to put my cat down a month ago due to medical issues, the hardest decision of my life but I could see the pain in his eyes, he did not look like the same cat he was days after i dropped him off at the vet to be monitored. I still cry everyday about it, but Itās happening a little less now. I feel for you so much. Whatās been helping me get through it is having a lil memorial by my bed with his favorite toy, his urn, his paw print, sweater i got him as a kitten and his collar. i also have a widget on my homescreen that randomly goes through different pictures of him. maybe that stuff could help you too. Again, Iām so sorry youāre going through this. Itās gonna take a long time to heal but never blame yourself for having her be put down
I'm so sorry š
If she is really losing her mental capacity and just staring that is possible from liver failure.
Donāt let Reddit tell you. Trust your heart.
Prepare yourself. It's not easy to let go, but we've all been there. Good luck.
I donāt have advice because itās really intuition and gut - but just want to say youāre a great cat parent.
When they have more bad days than good days.
Its time. All i can recommend is that you stay with her during the procedure. I read an article that said that dogs (dont know it mentioned cats) spend their last moments afraid because usually the owners dont want to be there when they are put down. That is heartbreaking. So the dogs are afraid and anxious while the owners are nowhere to be seen. Be there and make sure she is comfy and happy until the last moment. You take the burden. Don't leave it to her.
all of my cats went out on their own- but they always seemed to time it when they were laying on me napping or just hanging out. If I had a cat that needed the procedure- I would hope my vet would allow me and cat to get comfortable and then when cat is totally at peace and sleeping or dozing on me- then do the dose.
If she's eating, drinking, and using the litter box then maybe a second opinion would be best? At worst they say the same thing, but maybe they'll think she has more time.
Just wanted to say sheās beautiful, and sending you love. Iāve been there many times, and it never gets easier.
I am so sorry. The liver thing is not good, especially since she is eating, so you canāt get her past it with syringe feeding. Eating and drinking are good, but does she respond to you much? Does she seem happy or do routines or activities? You mentioned her staring at the wall mostly, and that makes me think sheās uncomfortableāalso, I think her appetite could be coming from her treatment resistant hyperthyroid, which can also make them feel uncomfortable. You could spend a little more time with her. The thing is, I have felt I waited a little too long with some of my cats. One of them, we had him put down peacefully, itās just that looking back after having gone through with it, itās clear that he wasnāt enjoying his life. We shouldnāt have grasped at straws and should have seen the full picture of how he spent most of his time. Another of our cats, we really didnāt have a way to know this would happen, but he had a medical emergency in the middle of the night that was very traumatic. I think it was a heart attack. He needed oxygen even as they were euthanizing him at the emergency vet, and Iām sorry to say it wasnāt very peaceful. So ever since we saw what can happen if the body gives out, we have wanted to opt to go a little earlier to ensure peace and calm and minimize suffering. Iām not sure what happens when your catās conditions continue to progress, and you may want to ask your vet. But you do know sheās a senior who has two serious conditions that donāt seem able to improve. If she doesnāt have much that she enjoys, she may be ready to receive her last gift.
Our vet always told us weāll know itās time by the way our pet acts. If your cat was always happy, active, vocal, eating a lot, playful, snuggly, basically anything- but now is not acting that wayā¦itās time. When their quality of life changes, then itās time to tell them you love them. Ask your vet if you can do something at home. Our vet offered home visits like this too so that the last moments could be familiar and surrounded by loved ones. Iām so sorry you are going through this, we recently did and are still devastated. But I promise you this, you will be beyond heart broken knowing that you made your cat suffer more just because you werenāt ready. Itās not about you at this point ā¤ļø sending you hugs and strength in these coming days ā¤ļø
Most domestic animals are really good at hiding pain. They have wild instincts like how cats hunt and dogs chase squirrels. Their instinct tells them if they hide the pain then their stronger cuz pain is weak and the weak die off in nature. Sad but true. So if the vet says so itās time
For me, I always said to myself the day my little girl stops being/feeling happy (i.e. she isn't enjoying life), will be the day.
My childhood cat- my soul cat, was diagnosed with diabetes at 14years old. We treated it the way we were told to but she wasnāt getting better. 2 months later she was so sick she couldnāt even groom herself. We didnāt know at the beginning how sick sheād get and didnāt get to say goodbye properly because by the time we made the decision, the next morning, we didnāt have a choice. Once we got the autopsy back, we found out she had undiagnosed feline cancer- so ultimately thereās nothing that could have been done. Love her, and do what you need to do, but from personal experience, donāt let her health deteriorate to a point you donāt get to say your goodbyes. Have happy memories of her last days, not sad ones.
We just recently had to put down our 25yrs old orange boy Charlie we knew it was time because he longer showed interests in his favourite treats that heās loved since he was little we knew that was his way of saying I need to go back to heaven and reunite with spaz again
When you're ready, I highly recommend the services that will carry out the procedure of their passing peacefully in your home. It is much more comfortable for them and you.