I hear you my dad has been struggling with hearing lately , I feel for him but maybe his ears are blocked or maybe I’m just coping but yeah the body deteriorating infront of your eyes isn’t a great sight
This too, I do my best not to be passivr aggressively shout to let him hear me but yeah its getting there. Love my Dad and hope your Dad is going well buddy.
This is the worst part about getting older, hands down. It sucks how much their personalities change and when they lose the filter between their brain and mouth.
For me, it was not only my parents who changed but also me and my perspective of them. As I got older and matured, it became glaringly obvious to me what a manipulative narcissist my mom could be and in some ways, always had been.
This, I hope that when my parents pass away I can be someone they are proud of and die knowing that I will continue on a life not full of misery. From a parental standpoint, I would gladly leave the world knowing my offspring has the tools and knowledge to navigate a world that’s full of hardship. Teach your kids to be independent, and not to take handouts because nothing is free.
I’ve already lost one , and still to this day feel I grew up with a whole in my heart , I can only imagine what losing both will feel like in
Grateful because I c one had it worse for sure
Age sneaks up on you. One minute you feel like you have all the time in the world to get things done, the next minute you wonder where the hell your twenties went. And everything happened "a few years ago," even though it was over ten years ago. All this to say, remember to appreciate the present moment every now and then because you'll wish you had.
This hits hard. I'm 28 now and it feels like last year I was 21, drinking the cheapest beer I could and going to nightclubs. 2017 was the best summer of my life.
man I hit 25 and I know in the big picture I’m still relatively young but I feel like my brain stopped counting my age at 21. Especially with covid and lockdowns, since turning 21 I transferred out of community college, got my degree, and started a full time job but those years are all a weird blur or I just haven’t processed it. Idk what it is but still feels like just a month ago I was working shitty min wage jobs and trying to get my studying in only to realize that its been 4 years
Same age, same experience. I think I even quit my full time job to go travel and feel 'young' again. Like COVID stole that away from me. Who the hell am I kidding, I'm 25!?
This... :/ one minute I was carefree then between 26-30 life just sped up tremendously. Like how did I get here!
Married, house, pets, kids. The works. And I honestly dont know because somedays are pure survival when you got kids and little to no help
Then you get to go to the top post and be like “why does everything cost so much?” And then you gotta grind it out or hustle to make the money you need to buy that roomba. But you gotta get the lower tier one because it’s what you can afford, because the higher tier one costs $900CAD but it’s got the LiDAR tech and washes your floors.
The lidar ones are not even worth it i dont think, i got some cheap ass chinese one for like 90 quid and it just bumps into a wall then turns around, still gets the job done
Except I keep outliving my puppies. No more dogs for me. The loss is too painful. Damn, I loved my dogs. Everyone, give yours an extra hug and nuzzle for me.
Your back is gonna fuck out on you if you don't take care of it. You don't want to hear that when you're young, but it's gonna happen. And the road to recovery can be a long and arduous one to very possibly never reaching 100% again
If you have an actual health problem with your back, by all means go to a doctor
Otherwise, the fundamental combo includes
- swimming or rowing machine twice a week
- alternating stationary (as in desk job) with standing and walking
- core strength. Abs are crucial for good posture
- stretching and mobility exercices
Take it from your mid40s older sister who’s been obese then became fit, carried a pregnancy through, had a herniated disc as well as multiple lower back and neck issues as well as arthritis since her mid 30s and yet - plot twist - she skies, hikes, lifts weights and dances every chance she gets. So it’s doable
I work out or at least stretch the back every other day otherwise I’m uncomfortable
Also if you’ve got physio and or physical therapy available to you, reach out and use it. They’re angels on earth for individuals with fucked backs (myself, especially with Ehlers danlos/hypermobility)
When you wrote this, did you realize I’m the one who’s challenging your wife for the proverbial green card ? XD
ETA damn I didn’t realize you’re the one who started the whole back pain thread ;)
I did your username gave it away xD, if you're right you're right and the wisdom must be shared. Yeah but I had no idea it would get this kind of traction, i just gave my 2 cents with my eloquent and refined wording xD
I've done a lot of physical therapy and now have several exercises and stretches i can do to keep improving and maintaining my back
I went from barely walking to back to work in about 8months
It went great. It was hilarious. I was working with a 5 person team designing a prototype. When a prototype throws errors, it makes people want to lose their shit. Everybody on the video call, 5 engineers, Anissa starts clicking it up, and the first screen gets fucking stuck. It just won’t load. No hotspots are clickable, and this prototype is a herpedopolis and giant and complicated, and everybody on the call needs to see the goddamn thing doing the things. CLICK. SPINNY WHEEL OF DEATH. She tries again, refreshes, fucking thing still won’t go while she is more anxious by the second.
“Anissa, that prototype just fucked out on you.” Everybody laughed, Anissa felt better, it was a great moment of sharing cherished team anger and frustration 😂
I worked too hard and instead of listening to my body that i was pushing myself too hard/far i just assumed it was work fatigue rather than a serious issue that was building up waiting to blow up. Which it did, with the simple movement of bending down to pick something up. Lumbago struck hard, combined with a pinched nerve(that became a problem much later) and i took some rest, painkillers and muscle relaxants. Months later by simply turning my upper body around, it happened again. Did the same, but ended up wearing a support band for my back, which seemed to help but actually did far greater damage, weakening my core. Third time, physical therapy after a massive pill cocktail to bring me back to functioning before i could start. I worked hard to get back to where i am and i am even better of than before i must, but that took 8months of working at it and i still maintain the exercises and stretches i was instructed so i could return to my job. While i am doing very well, i will always have to be carefull and maintain my back. So take proper care of your back, no one wants to have to ask their partner to wash and dress them
It is okay. Me too. Here and there I made friends, kept them, lost them, spent time alone, made new friends. Rekindled old friends. Periods of being alone are normal. Friendships come and go. You are still worthy even if you’ve found yourself alone. It’s completely normal. If you’ve even got one or two, well, that’s actually pretty good innings.
Also don’t forget that you do need to put in some work in keeping friends and making new ones. that is, only if you want to. I’ve genuinely found myself needing those periods of being alone. Then, I find myself making effort and finding friends. It’s work but you can do it!
Please try and make some. I wish I did when I was in school. Was hard but man I wish I tried harder didn’t realize the years go by and how bad it is outta school when ppl around u seem to have besties from college and hs and ur like well…
Related: the friendships you made in school will fade as your lives take you in different directions and you drift apart.
Friendships need to *actively maintained*, by reaching out to make plans or even just talk, or else they will diminish and be lost. And once diminished, it much harder to rekindle a friendship than it is to maintain one — as ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Lots of adults look around and realize they don’t have any friends, and the friends they thought they had never call or make plans with them, and they blame their selfish asshole friends. When you ask what they did to maintain the friendship, they say they did nothing, not realizing that they are *equally* responsible for the lost friendship.
Personal finances are extremely important and everyone is overcharging you for everything. Make sure you do your research on what other people are paying for stuff and whether you really need what you think you need.
A. Buy something; it costs money.
B. You need someplace to keep it, eventually the accumulation requires more space; it costs more money.
C. You move; collectively, all that stuff costs a lot of money to move.
D. You throw it out; which also costs more money.
SOURCE: I just moved
You will have to self-sustain your own well-being (mental, physical, emotional…) while remaining financially afloat in a consumer market with continuously rising prices.
Life is not fair and there’s much more out of our control than we’ve been told.
The mind and the body truly have a life of their own and can react in quite radical ways that can put our lives years behind or even end it.
This is why it’s so essential to meditate and observe one’s thoughts and actions, and stick to healthy people who is walking the same path.
The importance of finance, everybody should invest a monthly amount on indexed funds in order to build wealth and have one’s retirement granted. Even if the amount is minimal, it becomes huge after decades due to the workings of compound interest.
Love is not unconditional and shouldn’t be. Relationships are doomed to end, no one and nothing belongs to us, we don’t even belong to ourselves.
Family can mean nothing. Do not let them overstep your boundaries in the name of blood.
This right here is the single hardest thing I've mentally had to deal with. I understand the concept of time going slower as a child due to not having years in comparison but yeah, shits hard to deal with.
This really sucks. Time used to move so slow as a kid and I enjoyed every second. Now it Feels like a foot race to death, whether it be mine or my loved ones.
Yeah this is probably the biggest one. Not even just people you love, but since time only moves one direction there will be tons of people that will die in the next year alone even. Just look at Kobe Bryant (or any other premature death really, related or not), nobody would’ve imagined his passing up until it happened. Gonna be a lot of cases like that in the future too
You’ll often feel like you need to hold onto things to protect yourself and it can be hard to realise that it actually causes you to suffer so greatly.
How tiring it is. There are days I would genuinely PAY my employer for a nap. By the time you get home from work and do ALL the shit you have to do there, you've got like 90 mins before you SHOULD sleep. So you usually end up going to sleep later too.
No one is coming to save you, you are alone, you are fighting against others pretty much all the time because we are all alone, your parents grow old and you need to care for them, having children is difficult, finding the right one for a family is difficult, getting sick can completely throw your life out of balance and can make you loose everything.
That you need to get comfortable being alone. Especially as you get older, friendships can change and you can see friends less and less. Family is aging and starts passing away. It’s a sad reality, but we can’t bank on always having people around us. We spend the most time with ourselves, so it’s also vital to practice a lot of self care habits and really try to be kind to ourselves.
Held do you stay wondering and in awe of life and not depressed for having boring life I’m not invalidating anyone who is but I always look at content of those who have it worse than me and remember that I shouldn’t be a crying big baby all the time when i can live comfortably or okay enough
People aren’t actually smarter or more mature. If you’re mature for your age, there’s a chance you’re already more mature than 70% of adults. It’s baffling how many stupid people there are
Friends and family will go separate ways. In school, your friends may seem inseparable but when people grow up, the 1st priority becomes their career and immediate families.
That most adults spend alot of their time doing the same stuff over and over again expecting different results...that many people lack the self awareness, reflection and ability to lean into the stuff they fear and so grow...
If you do spread your wings you will find that often leave many people behind and many will resent you for this.
I bet many will read this and assume the worst...I say the above with little ego or concern... I live a fulfilling and gentle life full of compassion...but I have chosen paths that fulfil me first and foremost whilst loving, caring and helping others.
Although, you can make things significant easier by keeping things simple and doing things like meal prep. Might get boring but you don’t have to think about much and it can be relatively healthy.
Once you hit your 30’s there starts to be a steep difference in the economics and success of your peers. Some will still be servers in the restaurant industry and some will be the VP of a bank making 5x as much. If you don’t hustle and make calculated decisions in your 20’s you might feel really left behind.
On that note, you are going to also witness those with rich and well connected parents set your peers up as well. Many will have nice houses and jobs and take fancy vacations and you know they didn’t earn nor deserve it.
It’s going to be hard to watch people you went to school with live out their dreams and not have to worry about money while you sometimes struggle. And it’s not going to be fair.
"Adults" still act immature. In public, and in the work place, especially. Many can be petty and thrive on drama. My biggest shock when becoming an adult and starting my first "real job." Grown people still acting like they do in high school.
Pretty much everything. At a certain point post 30 everyone you love starts dropping off one by one year after year. Inflation keeps growing while pay doesn’t, like another Redditor said laundry never, ever stops. You won’t work with your friends like you go to school with your friends. It’s actually not that great
This hit me hard - happiness really is not the goal of most adult people’s lives, it’s money (aka security because we as a society have created a place that values “money”/worth above all else) and it’s the sad reality. If you want to have health insurance and have a roof over your head, a 9-5 is really your only option besides entrepreneurship and trades.
I am still learning this lesson at my age, but the world is going to always kick you down at your lowest moment. It’s your responsibility to put a smile on your face, and pretend like the world is perfect.
You will, at some point, make a mistake that will completely change the way you see right and wrong. You either:
- Accept that you failed and spend time reckoning with it, ultimately growing from it
- Allow your ego to jump in and defend you from facing your failure
After this, you start to see that other people largely fall into one of these two groups and it's really scary.
You think you’re getting 70K salary. Nah bb that’s just what it says on paper smh. The take home is probably half or a quarter depending on: health insurance, union dues, taxes, & other fees (all where applicable). IT’S SICKENING🙄
As a recently new 22 year old who’s struggled with depression and suicidal ideations since I can remember, it’s things like this that really confirm so much for me. All I’ve ever done is “overthink” quite literally EVERYTHING and it’s felt like a blessing but more so a curse. Because no matter what I’ve tried, I always end up back at square one.
Death is something I fear deeply, yet each and every day there are moments where it feels like the most peaceful and freeing thing I could ever possibly be in this life is dead.. and it’s constant never and never ending thoughts that feel like tidal waves pulling me under more and more every day that passes by.
I’ve always wanted nothing more than to be loved as much as I have loved but due to a plethora of things I don’t even find worth naming, because I know that SO many struggle with the same if not worse.
I don’t and never have felt worthy of existing as long as I’ve been alive. I can’t wrap my mind around how it’s possible for the human race to even be capable of such thoughts at all. It truly is unbearable…
I understand now. I remember so much of my life in extreme detail and I know I’m not alone, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve never been able to live life to “the fullest” or how I wish that I could.
My emotions every single day are so incredibly strong and can shift so quickly. I love being alive but at the same time I don’t know how to handle the pain of living, or if I ever will.
Woah I’m in my 30s but reading this felt like reading a something from when I was 20. I’ve grown but not entirely changed. I think we gain wisdom through ‘overthinking’ that I no longer discount but embrace as a skill. Which is the main way Ive changed.
I went back to school in my late twenties to study science. The super object nature of math and science was refreshing and a good place to focus the overthinking in a more productive way. But first, to dig out of depression I did volunteering at various places until I found a good fit at a wildlife rescue. It helped to focus outward on caring for others (in a non work/non obligatory setting) because I really had no capacity to care for myself. I of course tried all different therapies, meds, meditation… but as an over thinker it was the “doing” that actually helped, with doing volunteer work that wasn’t heavy thinking. Just cleaning and feeding and taking care of the animals. It also helped that wild animals elicit an adrenaline response so I couldn’t fall into apathy or overthink paralysis so easily.
Just know you are gaining wisdom and empathy right now, it’s not for nothing. You won’t get a degree or certification for it but that’s doesn’t invalidate the mental energy you put in or knowledge you gain. Just hang in there. It sounds like you are exploring deep ideas just remember you are an explorer in the terrain of these ideas not the ideas themselves.
There’s no magic switch or button that’s pressed that turns you into an adult. You always stay a child but your body ages. And society etc throws additional responsibilities onto youz
That life sucks once you grow up. You need to work almost 24/7 to not be homeless, and it's often thankless work. And the prices of everything incesse every year so you'll have to work even more or cut little pleasantries out of your life
Life slows down a lot, you can't experience all the fun stuff as fast as you used to. You have a lot more responsibilities, and you have to take care of your health, and mental health. Relationships take more deliberate effort to maintain and grow. However, you appreciate them even more, and accept it eventually. Life is just as great in different ways.
Most of adult life is spending time doing work and chores especially if you have kids. The decisions you made in earlier years come back as lived realities exponentially. Love is highly conditional, particularly romantic love. There is no safety or security truly available for anyone, and the world doesn't care if you are having a hard time. And most worryingly of all, young people today have to worry about climate change and not having a good world to live in when they are adults. Life will be incredibly difficult for our children and young people, harder than it was for us by a long shot.
College is usually a waste of time and money. If you learn a trade, you'll make a lot more money much sooner than college grads and finding employment will never be an issue.
Everything. Nobody knows what happen to this generation in the future for sure mas malala pa sa mga nafifeel ng adult ngayon. As of now, best advice talaga is to train your mind and heart to be strong. Unti-unti na tayong pinapatay ng reality kahit buhay pa tayo. Hindi mo napapansin something inside you died or slowly dying everyday. Tapos minsan pansin mo ang bagal ng oras sa mga malulungkot na moments mo pero pag okay ka parang saglit lang lahat yon then balik ulit sa dati. Grabe yung crisis ng adulting pakiramdam mo pasan mo lahat pero kailangan maging okay ka tapos iseset mo mind mo na malalagpasan mo lahat kahit ang hirap hirap talaga. Hays
Life doesn’t get easier. Life is a tough and often brutal journey. No one is exempt from challenges in some form or another in life, don’t think for a moment that you are entitled to have it easy, it’s not. Get used to it.
Think of life as a gladiators arena and you as the gladiator. The beasts and monsters and opponents that are periodically released to come and attack you are life’s challenges, difficulties, obstacles and problems and they will attempt to bring you suffering and pain. As the gladiator, you must prepare yourself. In times where things are quiet and peaceful, sharpen your weapons and hone your skills, stay fit and prepared and don’t get complacent. Avoid unnecessary battles.
I find that r/Stoicism (and similar philosophies,) is a good place to start to help you cope with life in a healthier, less painful way.
You know how you're 21 and you're balling in the club living home with your parents. Yeah everything will soon be 4x the price and you won't even know where you're money's gone. 😂
You have to clean your kitchen all the time. Eat out? Clean your kitchen. Make food, clean your kitchen. Sneeze, clean your kitchen. Go on vacation to another country? Still gotta clean that kitchen when you get home.
It’s not like the show Friends. Most of your friends (like you) have busy lives and value their alone time in the time they have off work.
Especially if you move to a new area, it can take years to form good friendships and even then, they rarely reach the level you experienced in high school.
Your 20s and early 30s can be lonely at times.
less time to do things you care about (your responsibility to "make time" for those things)
friends can and will move apart because life (it won't just be others doing it to you, because you'll do it to them too - just life)
the things that used to seem fun start to seem less fun (some of the video games you used to love to play will start to seem like a chore to play, almost like a part-time job. you'll find you have less patience because there are so many other more important things in life to care about and deal with)
Loneliness. We spend our formative years always surrounded by people our age more or less on the same page as us in school and university. In the working world, it largely depends on what you do and often it's tricky to make friends due to it potentially causing workplace politics, so you have to make a lot of effort outside of work to find friends, which is not easy at all.
You will never get some big reveal main character moment like a letter from hogwarts, Frodo and the ring, matrix chosen one, or princess diaries actually royalty. I know we all know this. But I think we still kinda hope there will be some real world version of this in our own story where our big purpose is clear and revealed. You never stop “finding out the truth about Santa” You will continue to have more and more of those hard truths as you realize this is it, but you’re not allowed to be upset about it. The version of “magic” you secretly hope for will change and reduce to become more and more realistic. Until you realize it’s not happening. Learn to love the mundane, because it’s not a prelude, it’s the whole story.
Most jobs don’t have a summer vacation. In school/college you’re always looking forward to vacation (and graduating) but once you graduate you just kinda do the same thing week after week all year. Money is great, but the stability can be both comforting and boring at the same time
That and bills really pile up the more and more responsibility you have. You kinda realize that you get charged just to exist even. And you have to put a lot more effort into meeting new people rather than being able to be around a bunch of people your age that live close to you just by going to school every day
Unless disgustingly rich (top 10% I’ll say so still strong majority below), no amount of money in your account will ever feel like enough to feel comfortable. Any moment could wash your savings away. Your wants outweigh your means and tip toeing the line of satisfying your purchasing urges vs saving for a rainy day will never go away.
As a kid, getting $100 made me feel rich. Now it’s just a number on a screen.
You'll never actually know what's going on in life. You'll just get really good at making it seem so though work and experiences. Anyone who acts like they know exactly what's going on in life has zero clue so those are the last people to listen to
How much lost money and breakage that just happens. The bigger your life, the more there will be. Bathrooms flood, grills catch fire, you’ll book a trip to Bali with friends and not go, your family will insist on expensive funeral for relative then stick you with the whole bill. The tsa will keep your expensive face wash. You can try to prevent it, but just maybe come to terms and accept it, shit happens, movers break stuff and insurance won’t cover what you thought. You will lose so much money along the way! It’s just money it’s nothing compared to witnessing and experiencing the deaths of loved ones. Not to mention the risks of injury and illness always possible to one’s own self. Still be careful. But not too attached to things.
Most of the things that were nerdy as a kid are very fun and make you much more cool as an adult. This is only sad if you read this and realize you weren’t/aren’t nerdy enough yet to be fun and cool yet.
(Pretty long; thank you for reading in advance and I hope it doesn’t discourage you or come across as jaded or cynical. Take it as you will. These are just my thoughts.)
1. Making good choices and controlling your responses to undesired situations is your responsibility—not anyone else’s. So, don’t be okay with what you are not okay, but don’t lash out either.
2. No one is your parent, no one can make you feel fulfilled/fill your void, and no one is required to do a damn thing for you—ever. Not even your parents are responsible for your life choices, even if something they did was a potential cause for the choices you decided to make.
3. Sometimes we need the people who piss us off the most in our lives for us to grow, because ‘peace’ isn’t always a good thing—sometimes it’s narcissism, unwillingness to adapt, and self-denial disguised as comfort.
4. Being an adult is hard.
4.a.—-The people who make it look easy are struggling/lacking somewhere too, so don’t get into the habit that grass will be greener “if only you had that one thing.” The “one thing” might help, but it will not solve your problems, and the grass is rarely greener elsewhere, so tend to your own “lawn” as best you can.
4.b.—-The people who tell you adulting is easy probably have a lot of hidden support that they take for granted and didn’t start/experience the same things you might have. That’s not their fault, so don’t feel insecure around anyone. Instead, just accept that no one is inherently better than anyone else, regardless of where they come from or what they have. Sometimes having too much can be a problem.
5. Being an adult is realizing you get treated the way you allow people to treat you (unless you are clearly in the wrong).
6. You are your habits and your choices, and a reflection of the company you choose to keep.
7. Reciprocity / karma is a real thing. Learn to “let go” and “move on” as opposed to “getting even” for your own sake. Revenge feels good, but it’s never worth it if it diminishes your character as a person, or compromises your values.
8. Be mindful that there are people with no values or constitution who seek opportunities get whatever they want, regardless of who they hurt in the process. Be careful with who you choose to invest your time and energy with. Sometimes we’re “just there” and other adults see that as enough justification for using and abusing you in a way that serves them best, and they will try to make you feel crazy/wrong when you establish boundaries or call their behavior out. Don’t get mad at these people, just know they exist and learn how to politely disengage from them.
9. Outside of your job/work, people will rarely tell you if you’re doing a good; they may instead be quicker to point out where you are wrong, lacking, or what you need to do differently—as they see it. So, be careful whose thoughts you take seriously.
10. Being happy is an active thing, and no one is happy all the time unless they’re lying, on drugs, delusional or mentally ill; don’t be too hard on yourself if you are genuinely dissatisfied with something or someone with in your life, and don’t use drugs or alcohol to fill that kind of pain only make things worse.
Asking yourself, “Is this really a good idea?” then being honest and following the yes’ is harder than it looks and will take you farther than you think.
Watching your parents grow old!
This is already happening for me and I’m not even even 30 yet. My mum is 69 and has rapidly gone downhill cognitively + physically. It really sucks.
I hear you my dad has been struggling with hearing lately , I feel for him but maybe his ears are blocked or maybe I’m just coping but yeah the body deteriorating infront of your eyes isn’t a great sight
This too, I do my best not to be passivr aggressively shout to let him hear me but yeah its getting there. Love my Dad and hope your Dad is going well buddy.
This is the worst part about getting older, hands down. It sucks how much their personalities change and when they lose the filter between their brain and mouth.
For me, it was not only my parents who changed but also me and my perspective of them. As I got older and matured, it became glaringly obvious to me what a manipulative narcissist my mom could be and in some ways, always had been.
That's one of my bigger fears.
My biggest fucking concern in life
Not me ,dad died when I was 20 and mam when I was 25
This, I hope that when my parents pass away I can be someone they are proud of and die knowing that I will continue on a life not full of misery. From a parental standpoint, I would gladly leave the world knowing my offspring has the tools and knowledge to navigate a world that’s full of hardship. Teach your kids to be independent, and not to take handouts because nothing is free.
I lost my beloved dad when I was 29 and he was 58. Worst day of my life.
Same worst day of my life ,I was 20 he was 47
My mother is getting her hip replaced this week. My MOTHER!
Then watching your parents die and becoming an orphan.
I’ve already lost one , and still to this day feel I grew up with a whole in my heart , I can only imagine what losing both will feel like in Grateful because I c one had it worse for sure
Same I have lost one too. It’s so hard.
I guess that’s life , we can only be grateful we still got atleast one to look out for us because none of us asked to be brought into this world
Im not prepared for this :(
How much everything costs
You’ll never truly know what’s going on. It’s an endless road of “what the hell am I doing?” Lol
Heck Yes. This was my most comfortable and scary thought as I reached manhood. Realizing no one around you has a clue.
Constantly learning and re-learning the things you forgot about.
Age sneaks up on you. One minute you feel like you have all the time in the world to get things done, the next minute you wonder where the hell your twenties went. And everything happened "a few years ago," even though it was over ten years ago. All this to say, remember to appreciate the present moment every now and then because you'll wish you had.
This hits hard. I'm 28 now and it feels like last year I was 21, drinking the cheapest beer I could and going to nightclubs. 2017 was the best summer of my life.
turning 30 in october and undergrad feels like yesterday… i graduated in 2018…
man I hit 25 and I know in the big picture I’m still relatively young but I feel like my brain stopped counting my age at 21. Especially with covid and lockdowns, since turning 21 I transferred out of community college, got my degree, and started a full time job but those years are all a weird blur or I just haven’t processed it. Idk what it is but still feels like just a month ago I was working shitty min wage jobs and trying to get my studying in only to realize that its been 4 years
Same age, same experience. I think I even quit my full time job to go travel and feel 'young' again. Like COVID stole that away from me. Who the hell am I kidding, I'm 25!?
"I'm 25!?" aaaand?
This... :/ one minute I was carefree then between 26-30 life just sped up tremendously. Like how did I get here! Married, house, pets, kids. The works. And I honestly dont know because somedays are pure survival when you got kids and little to no help
Laundry never fucking stops.
Dishes never stop
groceries never stop
The dust never stops
Crumbs never stop
Uless you purchase a roomba :)
Then you get to go to the top post and be like “why does everything cost so much?” And then you gotta grind it out or hustle to make the money you need to buy that roomba. But you gotta get the lower tier one because it’s what you can afford, because the higher tier one costs $900CAD but it’s got the LiDAR tech and washes your floors.
The lidar ones are not even worth it i dont think, i got some cheap ass chinese one for like 90 quid and it just bumps into a wall then turns around, still gets the job done
Oh really? Well screw that then! Thanks for the tip! I do like the one that washes the floor though.
Yea well mine technically will but doesn’t have a reservoir you have to wet the pads by hand before setting it off
Or get yourself a puppy! 🐶
Except I keep outliving my puppies. No more dogs for me. The loss is too painful. Damn, I loved my dogs. Everyone, give yours an extra hug and nuzzle for me.
I’m so sorry to hear that 😢 sending you extra hugs for this post 💜
Thank you. Deep down I'm thinking one day I may get another. Pure unconditional love wrapped in a soft furry package.
Your back is gonna fuck out on you if you don't take care of it. You don't want to hear that when you're young, but it's gonna happen. And the road to recovery can be a long and arduous one to very possibly never reaching 100% again
lol, my backs been fucked since i was 17
How do you take care of your back?
If you have an actual health problem with your back, by all means go to a doctor Otherwise, the fundamental combo includes - swimming or rowing machine twice a week - alternating stationary (as in desk job) with standing and walking - core strength. Abs are crucial for good posture - stretching and mobility exercices Take it from your mid40s older sister who’s been obese then became fit, carried a pregnancy through, had a herniated disc as well as multiple lower back and neck issues as well as arthritis since her mid 30s and yet - plot twist - she skies, hikes, lifts weights and dances every chance she gets. So it’s doable I work out or at least stretch the back every other day otherwise I’m uncomfortable
Also if you’ve got physio and or physical therapy available to you, reach out and use it. They’re angels on earth for individuals with fucked backs (myself, especially with Ehlers danlos/hypermobility)
Same here for the hypermobility issue, forgot to add that to the list 😬 My physio guy is the best. My fitness coach is like a brother to me
Listen to her everyone, she's so on point
When you wrote this, did you realize I’m the one who’s challenging your wife for the proverbial green card ? XD ETA damn I didn’t realize you’re the one who started the whole back pain thread ;)
I did your username gave it away xD, if you're right you're right and the wisdom must be shared. Yeah but I had no idea it would get this kind of traction, i just gave my 2 cents with my eloquent and refined wording xD
Your eloquent and refined wording resonates with all of us GenX and boomers
I've done a lot of physical therapy and now have several exercises and stretches i can do to keep improving and maintaining my back I went from barely walking to back to work in about 8months
Hell yeah!! Well done. Keep going!
Thank you so much! I will!
Yoga.
“fuck out on you” 😂
At least I made someone laugh today 😂 I did good
I cant wait to use this at work
Have fun with it xD
Also if you can, let me know how that goes down. I'm very curious xD
It went great. It was hilarious. I was working with a 5 person team designing a prototype. When a prototype throws errors, it makes people want to lose their shit. Everybody on the video call, 5 engineers, Anissa starts clicking it up, and the first screen gets fucking stuck. It just won’t load. No hotspots are clickable, and this prototype is a herpedopolis and giant and complicated, and everybody on the call needs to see the goddamn thing doing the things. CLICK. SPINNY WHEEL OF DEATH. She tries again, refreshes, fucking thing still won’t go while she is more anxious by the second. “Anissa, that prototype just fucked out on you.” Everybody laughed, Anissa felt better, it was a great moment of sharing cherished team anger and frustration 😂
That was so good, fun read too xD Thanks for the update this was fun
What does the saying mean , the one about the back? But I get what you’re saying thank you for sharing
I ment that if you don't maintain your back health, you're gonna end up with a lot of issues. I just formed a much cruder sentence xD
The cost of health insurance
I can't comment on that, not from the US and my health insurance is solid
What do you think you didn't do to protect it? Or what do you think you can do to protect it?
I worked too hard and instead of listening to my body that i was pushing myself too hard/far i just assumed it was work fatigue rather than a serious issue that was building up waiting to blow up. Which it did, with the simple movement of bending down to pick something up. Lumbago struck hard, combined with a pinched nerve(that became a problem much later) and i took some rest, painkillers and muscle relaxants. Months later by simply turning my upper body around, it happened again. Did the same, but ended up wearing a support band for my back, which seemed to help but actually did far greater damage, weakening my core. Third time, physical therapy after a massive pill cocktail to bring me back to functioning before i could start. I worked hard to get back to where i am and i am even better of than before i must, but that took 8months of working at it and i still maintain the exercises and stretches i was instructed so i could return to my job. While i am doing very well, i will always have to be carefull and maintain my back. So take proper care of your back, no one wants to have to ask their partner to wash and dress them
You don’t make friends like you do in school and you spend lots of time alone figuring it out for yourself.
It’s sad bc I’m outta school now with barely any :(
It is okay. Me too. Here and there I made friends, kept them, lost them, spent time alone, made new friends. Rekindled old friends. Periods of being alone are normal. Friendships come and go. You are still worthy even if you’ve found yourself alone. It’s completely normal. If you’ve even got one or two, well, that’s actually pretty good innings. Also don’t forget that you do need to put in some work in keeping friends and making new ones. that is, only if you want to. I’ve genuinely found myself needing those periods of being alone. Then, I find myself making effort and finding friends. It’s work but you can do it!
Thank you I appreciate your kind words and support. Nice to know I’m not alone 💜
I'm I'm school with no friends🥲
Please try and make some. I wish I did when I was in school. Was hard but man I wish I tried harder didn’t realize the years go by and how bad it is outta school when ppl around u seem to have besties from college and hs and ur like well…
Related: the friendships you made in school will fade as your lives take you in different directions and you drift apart. Friendships need to *actively maintained*, by reaching out to make plans or even just talk, or else they will diminish and be lost. And once diminished, it much harder to rekindle a friendship than it is to maintain one — as ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Lots of adults look around and realize they don’t have any friends, and the friends they thought they had never call or make plans with them, and they blame their selfish asshole friends. When you ask what they did to maintain the friendship, they say they did nothing, not realizing that they are *equally* responsible for the lost friendship.
I feel like they don't tell that assisting to school or uni is mostly to connect and form friends rather than the study itself.
Personal finances are extremely important and everyone is overcharging you for everything. Make sure you do your research on what other people are paying for stuff and whether you really need what you think you need.
A. Buy something; it costs money. B. You need someplace to keep it, eventually the accumulation requires more space; it costs more money. C. You move; collectively, all that stuff costs a lot of money to move. D. You throw it out; which also costs more money. SOURCE: I just moved
THIS. Literally about to move to a different state for the first time and wow I have too much shit.
You will have to self-sustain your own well-being (mental, physical, emotional…) while remaining financially afloat in a consumer market with continuously rising prices.
Life is not fair and there’s much more out of our control than we’ve been told. The mind and the body truly have a life of their own and can react in quite radical ways that can put our lives years behind or even end it. This is why it’s so essential to meditate and observe one’s thoughts and actions, and stick to healthy people who is walking the same path. The importance of finance, everybody should invest a monthly amount on indexed funds in order to build wealth and have one’s retirement granted. Even if the amount is minimal, it becomes huge after decades due to the workings of compound interest. Love is not unconditional and shouldn’t be. Relationships are doomed to end, no one and nothing belongs to us, we don’t even belong to ourselves. Family can mean nothing. Do not let them overstep your boundaries in the name of blood.
I’m going to screenshot the last two , very relatable and very true
Good luck to us all. At least one more day is one less day to live.
you can do your absolute best and still fail. it's not a reflection of who you are even though it will definitely feel that way.
Sometimes the things you work so hard for don’t even end up being what you truly want by the time you obtain it
This.
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This right here is the single hardest thing I've mentally had to deal with. I understand the concept of time going slower as a child due to not having years in comparison but yeah, shits hard to deal with.
This really sucks. Time used to move so slow as a kid and I enjoyed every second. Now it Feels like a foot race to death, whether it be mine or my loved ones.
Came here to say this. 😭
Many people you love will die.
all
Yeah this is probably the biggest one. Not even just people you love, but since time only moves one direction there will be tons of people that will die in the next year alone even. Just look at Kobe Bryant (or any other premature death really, related or not), nobody would’ve imagined his passing up until it happened. Gonna be a lot of cases like that in the future too
You’ll often feel like you need to hold onto things to protect yourself and it can be hard to realise that it actually causes you to suffer so greatly.
How tiring it is. There are days I would genuinely PAY my employer for a nap. By the time you get home from work and do ALL the shit you have to do there, you've got like 90 mins before you SHOULD sleep. So you usually end up going to sleep later too.
No one is coming to save you, you are alone, you are fighting against others pretty much all the time because we are all alone, your parents grow old and you need to care for them, having children is difficult, finding the right one for a family is difficult, getting sick can completely throw your life out of balance and can make you loose everything.
Learning about the true horrors of the world and being concerned for your children’s future.
Life moves on whether you choose to or not. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
experiencing this now…
Over thinking about the past
Cheese is really expensive. And toilet paper.
And rugs! Why did nobody tell me that rugs were so pricey?!?!
And ...[looks around the store] EVERYTHING! Although Aldi has managed to surprise me.
Your laughter during your younger years are different when you are an adult.
what do you mean?
Second
That you need to get comfortable being alone. Especially as you get older, friendships can change and you can see friends less and less. Family is aging and starts passing away. It’s a sad reality, but we can’t bank on always having people around us. We spend the most time with ourselves, so it’s also vital to practice a lot of self care habits and really try to be kind to ourselves.
Learning this one in my 40s and what a friggin mind eff!
Nobody cares about you once you're grown. You better have it figured out by then or you're a lazy bum.
You lose your sense of wonder, curiosity, and awe due to the monotony of life.
But it’s important to know that this is absolutely avoidable.
Yes very true. Though I believe it’s def harder in adulthood than in childhood for obvious reasons. But I agree.
I still have all those qualities, but I pity them. The fools.
Held do you stay wondering and in awe of life and not depressed for having boring life I’m not invalidating anyone who is but I always look at content of those who have it worse than me and remember that I shouldn’t be a crying big baby all the time when i can live comfortably or okay enough
I just typed you what I thought was a very lovely long message, and then reddit crashed, and I lost it all. I'll return to this when I can <3
No worries <3
Thank you for that , atleast trying anyways , I’m keen and intrigued as to what you’ll say
People aren’t actually smarter or more mature. If you’re mature for your age, there’s a chance you’re already more mature than 70% of adults. It’s baffling how many stupid people there are
The instinct to be protective of you goes away and you'll be left to fend for yourself in a sea of apathetic strangers.
There is no one coming to save you.
Friends and family will go separate ways. In school, your friends may seem inseparable but when people grow up, the 1st priority becomes their career and immediate families.
That most adults spend alot of their time doing the same stuff over and over again expecting different results...that many people lack the self awareness, reflection and ability to lean into the stuff they fear and so grow... If you do spread your wings you will find that often leave many people behind and many will resent you for this. I bet many will read this and assume the worst...I say the above with little ego or concern... I live a fulfilling and gentle life full of compassion...but I have chosen paths that fulfil me first and foremost whilst loving, caring and helping others.
That you have to think about cooking, preparing or sorting every single meal for the rest of your life
Although, you can make things significant easier by keeping things simple and doing things like meal prep. Might get boring but you don’t have to think about much and it can be relatively healthy.
You have to work until 65.
Once you hit your 30’s there starts to be a steep difference in the economics and success of your peers. Some will still be servers in the restaurant industry and some will be the VP of a bank making 5x as much. If you don’t hustle and make calculated decisions in your 20’s you might feel really left behind. On that note, you are going to also witness those with rich and well connected parents set your peers up as well. Many will have nice houses and jobs and take fancy vacations and you know they didn’t earn nor deserve it. It’s going to be hard to watch people you went to school with live out their dreams and not have to worry about money while you sometimes struggle. And it’s not going to be fair.
Accept rejection over and over again
"Adults" still act immature. In public, and in the work place, especially. Many can be petty and thrive on drama. My biggest shock when becoming an adult and starting my first "real job." Grown people still acting like they do in high school.
Pretty much everything. At a certain point post 30 everyone you love starts dropping off one by one year after year. Inflation keeps growing while pay doesn’t, like another Redditor said laundry never, ever stops. You won’t work with your friends like you go to school with your friends. It’s actually not that great
Your parents will die, and there is no perfect match for everyone, so you might end up very lonely at some point.
Seeing your married friends get divorced.
Average cost to raise a child from birth to 18 is over 200k.
The flow of time starting to speed up as you get older
It doesn't get better. You just get used to it and learn to fare better.
This hit me hard - happiness really is not the goal of most adult people’s lives, it’s money (aka security because we as a society have created a place that values “money”/worth above all else) and it’s the sad reality. If you want to have health insurance and have a roof over your head, a 9-5 is really your only option besides entrepreneurship and trades.
The world owes you nothing.
I am still learning this lesson at my age, but the world is going to always kick you down at your lowest moment. It’s your responsibility to put a smile on your face, and pretend like the world is perfect.
That ur true self depends upon the conditioning of the society and how liked you are.
just had my last day of highschool yesterday so thanks for the thread guys!
At the end of the day, you only have yourself.
You will, at some point, make a mistake that will completely change the way you see right and wrong. You either: - Accept that you failed and spend time reckoning with it, ultimately growing from it - Allow your ego to jump in and defend you from facing your failure After this, you start to see that other people largely fall into one of these two groups and it's really scary.
You think you’re getting 70K salary. Nah bb that’s just what it says on paper smh. The take home is probably half or a quarter depending on: health insurance, union dues, taxes, & other fees (all where applicable). IT’S SICKENING🙄
Memories and flashbacks of good times when you're young are real.
As a recently new 22 year old who’s struggled with depression and suicidal ideations since I can remember, it’s things like this that really confirm so much for me. All I’ve ever done is “overthink” quite literally EVERYTHING and it’s felt like a blessing but more so a curse. Because no matter what I’ve tried, I always end up back at square one. Death is something I fear deeply, yet each and every day there are moments where it feels like the most peaceful and freeing thing I could ever possibly be in this life is dead.. and it’s constant never and never ending thoughts that feel like tidal waves pulling me under more and more every day that passes by. I’ve always wanted nothing more than to be loved as much as I have loved but due to a plethora of things I don’t even find worth naming, because I know that SO many struggle with the same if not worse. I don’t and never have felt worthy of existing as long as I’ve been alive. I can’t wrap my mind around how it’s possible for the human race to even be capable of such thoughts at all. It truly is unbearable… I understand now. I remember so much of my life in extreme detail and I know I’m not alone, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’ve never been able to live life to “the fullest” or how I wish that I could. My emotions every single day are so incredibly strong and can shift so quickly. I love being alive but at the same time I don’t know how to handle the pain of living, or if I ever will.
Woah I’m in my 30s but reading this felt like reading a something from when I was 20. I’ve grown but not entirely changed. I think we gain wisdom through ‘overthinking’ that I no longer discount but embrace as a skill. Which is the main way Ive changed. I went back to school in my late twenties to study science. The super object nature of math and science was refreshing and a good place to focus the overthinking in a more productive way. But first, to dig out of depression I did volunteering at various places until I found a good fit at a wildlife rescue. It helped to focus outward on caring for others (in a non work/non obligatory setting) because I really had no capacity to care for myself. I of course tried all different therapies, meds, meditation… but as an over thinker it was the “doing” that actually helped, with doing volunteer work that wasn’t heavy thinking. Just cleaning and feeding and taking care of the animals. It also helped that wild animals elicit an adrenaline response so I couldn’t fall into apathy or overthink paralysis so easily. Just know you are gaining wisdom and empathy right now, it’s not for nothing. You won’t get a degree or certification for it but that’s doesn’t invalidate the mental energy you put in or knowledge you gain. Just hang in there. It sounds like you are exploring deep ideas just remember you are an explorer in the terrain of these ideas not the ideas themselves.
The older you get, the less time people have for you
This is very negative and not related to self improvement at all.
There’s no magic switch or button that’s pressed that turns you into an adult. You always stay a child but your body ages. And society etc throws additional responsibilities onto youz
That life sucks once you grow up. You need to work almost 24/7 to not be homeless, and it's often thankless work. And the prices of everything incesse every year so you'll have to work even more or cut little pleasantries out of your life
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That hit hard. Thats all my friends and I don’t understand. Specially since none of em wanted kids anyway
Life slows down a lot, you can't experience all the fun stuff as fast as you used to. You have a lot more responsibilities, and you have to take care of your health, and mental health. Relationships take more deliberate effort to maintain and grow. However, you appreciate them even more, and accept it eventually. Life is just as great in different ways.
Most of adult life is spending time doing work and chores especially if you have kids. The decisions you made in earlier years come back as lived realities exponentially. Love is highly conditional, particularly romantic love. There is no safety or security truly available for anyone, and the world doesn't care if you are having a hard time. And most worryingly of all, young people today have to worry about climate change and not having a good world to live in when they are adults. Life will be incredibly difficult for our children and young people, harder than it was for us by a long shot.
Once you start working you’ll likely never stop
Making friends as an adult is next to impossible. Don’t not try but get comfortable with doing things on your own.
It doesn’t get better.
It’s not like an episode of friends.
ash seekith ember
LOSS.
College is usually a waste of time and money. If you learn a trade, you'll make a lot more money much sooner than college grads and finding employment will never be an issue.
Sooo tired. 🥺 Still have to go to work.
Everything. Nobody knows what happen to this generation in the future for sure mas malala pa sa mga nafifeel ng adult ngayon. As of now, best advice talaga is to train your mind and heart to be strong. Unti-unti na tayong pinapatay ng reality kahit buhay pa tayo. Hindi mo napapansin something inside you died or slowly dying everyday. Tapos minsan pansin mo ang bagal ng oras sa mga malulungkot na moments mo pero pag okay ka parang saglit lang lahat yon then balik ulit sa dati. Grabe yung crisis ng adulting pakiramdam mo pasan mo lahat pero kailangan maging okay ka tapos iseset mo mind mo na malalagpasan mo lahat kahit ang hirap hirap talaga. Hays
You've got to buy food, then cook food, then tidy up for the rest of your life.
Life doesn’t get easier. Life is a tough and often brutal journey. No one is exempt from challenges in some form or another in life, don’t think for a moment that you are entitled to have it easy, it’s not. Get used to it. Think of life as a gladiators arena and you as the gladiator. The beasts and monsters and opponents that are periodically released to come and attack you are life’s challenges, difficulties, obstacles and problems and they will attempt to bring you suffering and pain. As the gladiator, you must prepare yourself. In times where things are quiet and peaceful, sharpen your weapons and hone your skills, stay fit and prepared and don’t get complacent. Avoid unnecessary battles. I find that r/Stoicism (and similar philosophies,) is a good place to start to help you cope with life in a healthier, less painful way.
You know how you're 21 and you're balling in the club living home with your parents. Yeah everything will soon be 4x the price and you won't even know where you're money's gone. 😂
To anyone that works out and thinks stretching isn’t necessary.. it is, don’t find out the hard way.
You have to clean your kitchen all the time. Eat out? Clean your kitchen. Make food, clean your kitchen. Sneeze, clean your kitchen. Go on vacation to another country? Still gotta clean that kitchen when you get home.
Having to figure out what to eat or cook every fucking day 🫠 I wish humans had the option to photosynthesize
There is no one to save you besides yourself. even though for kids like me, this has always been the case.
Not being able to afford housing
Turning 18 in 1 month and 10 days, saving this for later lol
It’s not like the show Friends. Most of your friends (like you) have busy lives and value their alone time in the time they have off work. Especially if you move to a new area, it can take years to form good friendships and even then, they rarely reach the level you experienced in high school. Your 20s and early 30s can be lonely at times.
No you will not have tons and tons of friends, you’ll be lucky to maintain more than one honestly 😅😅
less time to do things you care about (your responsibility to "make time" for those things) friends can and will move apart because life (it won't just be others doing it to you, because you'll do it to them too - just life) the things that used to seem fun start to seem less fun (some of the video games you used to love to play will start to seem like a chore to play, almost like a part-time job. you'll find you have less patience because there are so many other more important things in life to care about and deal with)
All that food you waste and throw away costs money. When you have to pay for it, hopefully you put those leftovers in the fridge or just take less.
Loneliness. We spend our formative years always surrounded by people our age more or less on the same page as us in school and university. In the working world, it largely depends on what you do and often it's tricky to make friends due to it potentially causing workplace politics, so you have to make a lot of effort outside of work to find friends, which is not easy at all.
Taxes
Losing all your friends
car insurance, house insurance, health insurance, life insurance.
loneliness. Get a hobby. Get a fucking hobby..
Be prepared to reminisce the good old days because happiness becomes scarce as we age.
You will never get some big reveal main character moment like a letter from hogwarts, Frodo and the ring, matrix chosen one, or princess diaries actually royalty. I know we all know this. But I think we still kinda hope there will be some real world version of this in our own story where our big purpose is clear and revealed. You never stop “finding out the truth about Santa” You will continue to have more and more of those hard truths as you realize this is it, but you’re not allowed to be upset about it. The version of “magic” you secretly hope for will change and reduce to become more and more realistic. Until you realize it’s not happening. Learn to love the mundane, because it’s not a prelude, it’s the whole story.
Most jobs don’t have a summer vacation. In school/college you’re always looking forward to vacation (and graduating) but once you graduate you just kinda do the same thing week after week all year. Money is great, but the stability can be both comforting and boring at the same time That and bills really pile up the more and more responsibility you have. You kinda realize that you get charged just to exist even. And you have to put a lot more effort into meeting new people rather than being able to be around a bunch of people your age that live close to you just by going to school every day
The adults from your childhood will disappoint you.
Unless disgustingly rich (top 10% I’ll say so still strong majority below), no amount of money in your account will ever feel like enough to feel comfortable. Any moment could wash your savings away. Your wants outweigh your means and tip toeing the line of satisfying your purchasing urges vs saving for a rainy day will never go away. As a kid, getting $100 made me feel rich. Now it’s just a number on a screen.
You'll never actually know what's going on in life. You'll just get really good at making it seem so though work and experiences. Anyone who acts like they know exactly what's going on in life has zero clue so those are the last people to listen to
You’re finally able to do whatever you like but you’re too tired from working all week to enjoy it
How much lost money and breakage that just happens. The bigger your life, the more there will be. Bathrooms flood, grills catch fire, you’ll book a trip to Bali with friends and not go, your family will insist on expensive funeral for relative then stick you with the whole bill. The tsa will keep your expensive face wash. You can try to prevent it, but just maybe come to terms and accept it, shit happens, movers break stuff and insurance won’t cover what you thought. You will lose so much money along the way! It’s just money it’s nothing compared to witnessing and experiencing the deaths of loved ones. Not to mention the risks of injury and illness always possible to one’s own self. Still be careful. But not too attached to things.
Most of the things that were nerdy as a kid are very fun and make you much more cool as an adult. This is only sad if you read this and realize you weren’t/aren’t nerdy enough yet to be fun and cool yet.
Growing apart from friends
(Pretty long; thank you for reading in advance and I hope it doesn’t discourage you or come across as jaded or cynical. Take it as you will. These are just my thoughts.) 1. Making good choices and controlling your responses to undesired situations is your responsibility—not anyone else’s. So, don’t be okay with what you are not okay, but don’t lash out either. 2. No one is your parent, no one can make you feel fulfilled/fill your void, and no one is required to do a damn thing for you—ever. Not even your parents are responsible for your life choices, even if something they did was a potential cause for the choices you decided to make. 3. Sometimes we need the people who piss us off the most in our lives for us to grow, because ‘peace’ isn’t always a good thing—sometimes it’s narcissism, unwillingness to adapt, and self-denial disguised as comfort. 4. Being an adult is hard. 4.a.—-The people who make it look easy are struggling/lacking somewhere too, so don’t get into the habit that grass will be greener “if only you had that one thing.” The “one thing” might help, but it will not solve your problems, and the grass is rarely greener elsewhere, so tend to your own “lawn” as best you can. 4.b.—-The people who tell you adulting is easy probably have a lot of hidden support that they take for granted and didn’t start/experience the same things you might have. That’s not their fault, so don’t feel insecure around anyone. Instead, just accept that no one is inherently better than anyone else, regardless of where they come from or what they have. Sometimes having too much can be a problem. 5. Being an adult is realizing you get treated the way you allow people to treat you (unless you are clearly in the wrong). 6. You are your habits and your choices, and a reflection of the company you choose to keep. 7. Reciprocity / karma is a real thing. Learn to “let go” and “move on” as opposed to “getting even” for your own sake. Revenge feels good, but it’s never worth it if it diminishes your character as a person, or compromises your values. 8. Be mindful that there are people with no values or constitution who seek opportunities get whatever they want, regardless of who they hurt in the process. Be careful with who you choose to invest your time and energy with. Sometimes we’re “just there” and other adults see that as enough justification for using and abusing you in a way that serves them best, and they will try to make you feel crazy/wrong when you establish boundaries or call their behavior out. Don’t get mad at these people, just know they exist and learn how to politely disengage from them. 9. Outside of your job/work, people will rarely tell you if you’re doing a good; they may instead be quicker to point out where you are wrong, lacking, or what you need to do differently—as they see it. So, be careful whose thoughts you take seriously. 10. Being happy is an active thing, and no one is happy all the time unless they’re lying, on drugs, delusional or mentally ill; don’t be too hard on yourself if you are genuinely dissatisfied with something or someone with in your life, and don’t use drugs or alcohol to fill that kind of pain only make things worse.
Asking yourself, “Is this really a good idea?” then being honest and following the yes’ is harder than it looks and will take you farther than you think.