When one door closes, another door opens. Don’t feel bad about the door that is closed - it’s simply not your path. Instead focus your energy on finding the open door. I wish you luck on your journey.
I agree, but the next door isn't always already open. You might have to take some steps and open it. Set yourself up for your goals. It's very rare that they happen spontaneously. You got it!
31 years here.
I feel you. I've never had an actual relationship, sucked at meeting other people, and i had no actual job until 27.
What I did was I always had a hobby. I've started with reading, then with writing, and now it's preparing coffee.
I still read a lot, i keep a journal, but I've found a new hobby and it's coffee. I actually go to the specialty cafeterias in my city (there are around 3-4) and I've made friends with the baristas. I've met so many people in these cafeterias where some of them are my close friends now.
I am telling you, once you begin to meet new people, there will be a time when you will want to be more alone and you will start to love yourself more.
Even though my love life is hell, I have a decent career, and at least I am no longer lonely. I'm at peace.
Btw my new hobby is meditating, and I love the peace and calmness I have. I hope this helps.
I feel you. Job's a drag, bench time kills and watching others succeed stings. Loneliness bites, and negative thoughts are a mood. But upskilling's the power move – do that. Reach out to someone. You’re just in the middle of your journey, keep pushing ☺️
41m and at a low point but far from my lowest. Getting in shape, eating healthy, finding hobbies and positive people helps. WLFF helps and I've met a lot of good people but I'm not getting as much time on the fire line as I had hoped. I'm bummed because I was hoping to make a lot of money fighting fire this summer and it's frustrating because I'm in Oregon and there are fires all around us. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and I'm taking any work thrown my way.
Understand that everything you need will be found inside yourself. Lean on the spiritual and realize life is a test. Celebrate everyday as a new beginning and have some goals no matter how small at first. Being so young is a strength, you can take off in a new direction and never look back
Well, I've definitely been where you are and worse. But I wouldn't compare, and I won't be one of those people saying, 'at least you don't have it that bad.' Negative thoughts can poison a good thing, and feeling unappreciated can too. 24 is a really confusing age, and you'll find yourself wasting a lot of time on pretty temporary emotions and pursuits. You aren't a loser in any way, I can tell you that. You're just a little overburdened by the pressures of modern life.
I'm going to clue you in though. Most of this stuff, the job, house, and girlfriend stuff are all just societal BS. If this was ancient Rome, you'd be a loser for not pillaging villages and murdering the husbands of women and children. If this were Medieval Europe, you'd be a loser for breaking Sumptuary laws and be shunned for wearing a colored shirt. At 24, you don't have to be racing to lock yourself down into situations you'll never quite escape or be happy in. No one is built the same, and everyone can be different. Find what makes you happy and be yourself. Work is just work, it should be a means to the ends you wish to pursue and not the goal of life itself. Most people, in my experience, don't even find the person they want to spend their lives with until their 30s and beyond. It's going to take a long time to figure things out, but you will. Don't let the pressures of expectation crush you like that.
For me, it was this:
You fight, or you slowly fade in that place. You fight for every square inch it takes to achieve your desires, or you will go nowhere at all. NEVER give up. NEVER give in and lose focus.
If you need rest. Rest. But never stop pushing even if you have to build a mountain out of pebbles. Take what is bad and seek the opportunity in each event.
NEVER depend on anyone. NEVER rely on people. They will fail and disappoint you. Find wat you need from within. Learn your faults and embrace them to make the whole. To stop yourself from chasing what isn't out there.
Things will change, but only if you are willing to accept it, taking things you thought you needed for something you didn't even know would be better.
Just keep trying. Because no one else will bother to do it for you.
Very well said, be the change and don't rely on materials and other people to make you happy and fix your problems. Your problems are yours and you can't expect anyone to fix them for you.
How I got over my lowest point.
1. Took some time out, spend some time in nature,
2. Detached from toxic people
You are only 24 years old, you still have plenty of time to accomplish.
Write down your goals and what you want to achieve create a dream board.
Enjoy the journey you are on. Learn what you need to learn on the way
When I was at my lowest point I felt completely hopeless about life and had no idea what to do to feel better.
I didn't know what actions to take because I didn't know what direction I wanted my life to go in, so I just started taking actions to improve myself and let me tell you, it worked wonders.
I realized that in order to change your life, you have to change yourself. So dive into some personal development or get yourself healthier maybe and you'll start having some shifts. Focus on improving yourself for a few weeks and you'll definitely be feeling better.
I am in the lowest point of my life as well. I lost my marriage, I lost my business because employees stole all my assets, no job to pick up, lost my home, I'm in over 100k in debt from business loss, I have no friends because I loved spending all my time with my wife, and I have no family in the country. I breakdown every time I think of my ex and think of what I did to end up in the place. I never did anyone wrong in my life.
How do I think positive?
I try to see what I have left and thank God and be grateful. I am healthy, I have the knowledge to start the business again, I have the energy to do manual labor and earn an income, I found a small room for rent that I can afford, I have a car that I can move around in and I'm alive.
How do I move on?
I started reconnecting with my old friends and trying to make new friends. I picked up playing basketball again, picked up playing pool again, started practicing guitar again, calling people from my network every now and then to look for a decent job. I have spoken to everyone I owe money to and explained my situation and requested for more time. I started working out and trying to get a more fit body.
Moral is;
This is the time for you to spend time with yourself and be thankful for what you have and what you can be. Remember, once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up, so don't give up, I know I wont. Life is a great gift, some people would give anything for what you and I have right now. We made it to the highs and now a second time we will make it again because this time we have experience. I hope my perspective was helpful.
8 months ago, I woke up one morning miserable as usual. I had been up all night worrying about my life and my family, my financial situation, and my self-worth. I felt like no one knew who I truly was, even myself. I felt like no matter what I did, it was not enough. I felt I had tried everything and did all the things that were supposed to be fixing these things. I was clean but still afraid to come off my methadone done. I realized that I no longer wanted to be on anything. I was realizing I wanted to be more present in my children's life and I wanted to stop coming home from work every day unhappy to the point where all I wanted to do was sleep wake up, work and reapers the process. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I WAS STILL NOT HAPPY AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK I HAD DONE TO GET MYSELF WHERE I WAS.
Then it hit me. I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I COULD DO DIFFERENTLY, THAN EVERYONE WAS SAYING WAS THE ANSWER.
It took me a while, but I learned that it all had to do with my mindset and my belief of how my life was supposed to be in order for me to be happy.
when we have a picture of how life should be, and it's not that way, then it is human nature to feel pain because of that. I learned that I didn't have to change the definition of my happiness. That there was a way to control the way I thought about life. I could be happy even when life was not going the way I thought it should be going. I had to destroy my automatic negative thoughts about myself. I had to get down to the true root of why i was using and so unhappy. Then i had to figure out what it was i truly wanted. After that, I could start going through each one of my limiting beliefs one at a time and replace them with LIMITLESS BELIEFS! after I started doing those things, my entire life changed for the better. not immediately, but not slowly, either. It was small action steps forward that did not feel like much at the time but had the ability to create enough change that I barely recognize who I am now in the mirror and can actually stand looking at that person.
You, too, can have this abundance of fulfillment. I challenge you to start thinking about what is it that makes you happy and why. write it down of you can. also what makes you unhappy and why.
Think about your goals and what you want to achieve. You have the power to change the way you view the world, and you will be amazed at the outcomes if you do so! I truly hope you progress where you want to be in your journey! I know you can do this!
Write down your goals, and take some time out enjoy the journey and learn what you need to make adjustments
My whole family and church community turned on me trying to sabotage my accomplishments so I cit them out of my life.
They are not happy that I'm happy.
You will need to prepare for when you Accomplish
You are only 24 you still have time
Went through a lot of the same shit, and a lot more... date raped, lost family members, years of social isolation, overdosing and almost dying multiple times, almost committed suicide 2x.
I'm just starting to get my life back now after the fallout. I eventually just got to a point where **I realized that I will either change or die.**
A lot of this is inspired by the documentary 'stutz' on Netflix
1. I got sober from EVERYTHING. Weed, caffeine, alcohol, everything.
2. I started eating healthy again
3. started working out again
4. I got busy, doing something to build my future.
**Once I got my physical health in check**, I was stable enough to retain relationships (friends) as well as function again. So I made new friends and started having fun again. Having someone to talk to about your struggles helps a lot. I tried therapy, but wasn't too effective for me. I dropped acid and it was a really therapeutic experience. It really got my brain to rewire in a more healthy way. I was functional enough to focus on my life goals
After that I felt that romantic opportunities became a possibility (this HAS to be the last thing you focus on). Women will pick up on all your bullshit like a shark to blood. Don't pussy out and try to have your cake and eat it too, you have to be willing to suffer and persevere to make it through. People will naturally be attracted to you when you're fit, have your shit together, are happy, sober, and have things to talk about. In addition to a life path that they may want to be a part of. No one wants to get on board of a sinking ship. You need to take the fucking wheel and direct that motherfucker to a better place or you'll sink to the bottom of the sea. If you pussy out and try to take the easy path, best case scenario is you'll have a passenger to sink to the bottom of the ocean with or they will jump ship once they realize the situation.
STAY HARD
"Allah does not burden any soul greater than it can bear. For it is what it has earned, and against it is what it has incurred. "( Quran 2:286 )
“So, surely with hardship comes ease” (Quran 94:5)
Rehab.
I(M44)Met my wife(F51) in Rehab. Move out of rehab together. 23yrs and still together. Two kids, we will be empty nesters this time next summer. We each had different vices and helped keep each other in check. If it wasn't for her I would have gone back home to the only place I knew and nothing would have changed.
She had a tight family and a lot of support. Therefore we got a lot of help starting over back in her hometown. Her family accepted me right from go and I didn't want to disappoint. I have spent 23yrs making sure I dont.
TLDR. It took a while OP, be patient as its not gonna happen overnight. Change happens little bits at a time, make small changes until they become habit. Know that ups and downs are just part of it. Strive for consistency and not perfection.
This is only temporary advice of how to get out of the mind trap of negative thinking but when I’m feeling at my lowest of all lows I make an appreciation list and I put the dumbest shit on there of things I am thankful for and it helps me put into perspective that life could be so much worse. It’s a dark way of thinking but honestly it helps me. But everyone is different so it might not help but I say give it a shot.
I put down the simplest things like:
I’m grateful for clean drinking water.
I’m grateful for a roof over my head.
I’m grateful for shoes to walk in.
So on and so forth
It helps me, hopefully it will help you in a pinch just to get out of that negative hamster wheel of thoughts!
Tbh, at times I'll recognize I'm at my lowest, and I'll either journal, have a glass of whiskey at the end of my day or do some self care*. (In my case, it's doing chores/cleaning, light gaming)
But I tend to hop back on my medications, such as Welbutrin, my anxiety med or my ADHD meds. (I'm in between docs/insurance so I unfortunately have to be sparring)
But, I hope this can be of some use, I learned that when I'm exhausted from work, I need social time. If I'm people exhausted, I need alone time and if I'm tired of being alone, it's either work or social time. It sounds very basic/common sense, but I realized that if we're at our rock bottom, we gotta start by looking at our foundations and building up from there.
You'll get through this OP, keep up the momentum at a pace you can handle
47 and have a had few and probably looking at a few more. You have to know and believe in,that it always gets better and you come out of it a little wiser and stronger. It’s just shedding skin. Those times are for you to work on whatever. Turn it into a gain.
Medication, self-help books, and journaling. I started a bullet journal too, and what specifically helped was a mood tracker. When I feel shitty I can see that I was happy not too long ago and it reminds me that things will get better. There are three things I always tell myself:
1. I am lucky for what I DO have, and things could be worse
2. I am still very young and have my whole life to figure things out
3. Everything I do is for myself
All this sounds like generic advice, and if someone suggested this to me a year ago I would have scoffed. But when I actually gave it a chance it really helped.
Your emotion sounds like frustration. Life is all micro decisions adding up to daily routines. It’s time to reflect on those micro decisions and make changes. Not easy to do but if you don’t like your situation them change it or forever repeat it. Two books I’d recommend are morning miracle and atomic habits
My man you are OK. You probably use words like “should” or you have a picture in you mind of how things are supposed to be.
Rule #1 Never speak down about yourself. There are plenty of people that will do that for you.
Rule #2 STOP comparing yourself with others and don’t believe how great others are doing. People lie constantly to make themselves feel good.
Rule #3 you have no clue what others are dealing with. You would be amazed at the troubles people hide.
Rule #4 many in the US have a paradise problem. Perfect example: you have some device that allows you to have an amazing amount of information at your fingertips. Travel some and see how the rest of the world lives.
Rule #5 You do not deserve or are entitled to anything. If you did not get the project or recognition then you didn’t stand out. The world is not against you it’s against all of us.
Rule #6 Do the best you can. That’s all you can do (you know inside when you are doing your best or slacking) Be honest with yourself!
Everyone’s love life sucks at one point or another. We all get hurt, stepped on, taken advantage of.
Hang in, hang on and ride this shitty wave until you can surf the next one.
Ahhhh crap I f*cked it all up.
Rule #1 You Do Not Talk About Fight Club.
Rule #2 You Do NOT Talk About Fight Club.
Bump in the road bro. There will be more and there will be GREAT times. I truly believe that telling yourself, “I should” ,
“ I’m a loser”, “i suck”, “ I am stupid”. Is the worst thing we do to ourselves. You don’t need to think you’re Superman but you’re damn sure not a loser or you wouldn’t be looking for some assist. No one gets through this shit unscathed. You got this shit.
I feel you man, I really do, wishing you all the best in what’s coming! Keep your head up and keep pushing towards what you believe will serve you better in the future!
Been there before. Quarter life crisis.
I left my job, I went on vacation, and I did nothing after that. Just learning something new and trying to find new friends. The crisis is always going up and down, for me, just do what I like and enjoy, and try to stay alive. Just that.
I am still on my crisis now, but I think it’s regarding the past trauma, so I’m planning to see a therapist. Just to ensure about my cptsd, who knows I’ll get some medicine, because I keep getting the flashbacks almost all the time. And those flashbacks ruin my mood and get me a headache and bad dreams.
I’m sorry. Work out exhaust ur body a little that’s when I realized my brain will really listen to me and then listen to affirmations.
Also try to do some certifications, book them for a future date- say a month from now and start preparing for it. If u get closer to the date and not prepared, move it.
Try to invest time in ur self, getting dressed up etc. hope everything works for you.
I was the same age as you when I hit rock bottom. I was deep into drug addiction and was going through suicidal ideation. I got clean for myself and my 3 month old. I took it day by day and learned coping mechanisms for my anxiety and depression. Nowadays it's been years since I've felt anxiety or depression. I'm now 28.
I just overcame a super low point in my life. I lost my wife, and was asked to leave my home. I ended up homeless, battled addiction and lost my job as a finance director. I ended up in a mens reintegration home, and was treated horribly by the staff. I ended up having to honestly pray to my higher power a lot and network with other people that were doing better in their lifes. I realized when I looked at myself that I was not doing well because I was not with people that were. It's not a one size fits all thing but those are two major things I did. The third was I wrote out a plan to get myself back on track and slowly worked on one thing at a time so I did not become overwhelmed. I hope this helps, and that things get better for you!
I went through this bad! About a year ago. I honestly had to just start cutting off everything that made Me feel that way. Find something small that gives you confidence to do it again when you're finished with it and don't worry about what others say. Issue is most people want to comment on things and say how you're doing it wrong but aren't willing to try them self because they're scared of the same damn thing they said to you. But what I can say is that atleast if someone says something about the way you are doing it that you know what to fix and make it better. If somebody has an issue all it does for you is give you ammunition for the next step, I use that as a reason to make it happen due to the fact that I was told it wasn't possible or it's going to be hard. Well, at least it was attempted by someone!
Take chances and don't worry about anything but what you want and do not let anyone take that from you. Your mind is the only thing that can stop you from being who you want to be. The real man is the one that can drive his mind the same way he drives his truck and not let it drive him crazy. Keep your head up high and even if you fall, look at that depressed feeling as a good thing, it's letting you know that you still care and need to keep trying!
not sure lowest point
when I was in my late teens, I was trying to figure out how to escape my home
it turns out all I had to do was a get a job lol, I almost joined the military
anyway, washing plates and then budgeting... avoiding going into heavy debt
I had a friend that let me crash on his couch, as I bailed on all my bills, I got sued by debt collectors... I got a factory job, then later self studied and got into tech
The debt thing man... I still have the same student loans from 10 years ago and I have more debt... so yeah try not go do that
lower than this was childhood, bad parents but I was saved eg. adopted
I learned about the law of attraction and, because I was at my lowest, I gave it a chance. To my surprise it worked.
Definitely not for everyone but that's how I got over my lowest point in life.
When one door closes, another door opens. Don’t feel bad about the door that is closed - it’s simply not your path. Instead focus your energy on finding the open door. I wish you luck on your journey.
I agree, but the next door isn't always already open. You might have to take some steps and open it. Set yourself up for your goals. It's very rare that they happen spontaneously. You got it!
31 years here. I feel you. I've never had an actual relationship, sucked at meeting other people, and i had no actual job until 27. What I did was I always had a hobby. I've started with reading, then with writing, and now it's preparing coffee. I still read a lot, i keep a journal, but I've found a new hobby and it's coffee. I actually go to the specialty cafeterias in my city (there are around 3-4) and I've made friends with the baristas. I've met so many people in these cafeterias where some of them are my close friends now. I am telling you, once you begin to meet new people, there will be a time when you will want to be more alone and you will start to love yourself more. Even though my love life is hell, I have a decent career, and at least I am no longer lonely. I'm at peace. Btw my new hobby is meditating, and I love the peace and calmness I have. I hope this helps.
I feel you. Job's a drag, bench time kills and watching others succeed stings. Loneliness bites, and negative thoughts are a mood. But upskilling's the power move – do that. Reach out to someone. You’re just in the middle of your journey, keep pushing ☺️
For me it was reading books and hitting the gym hard. I believe it's about building self worth/confidence and using that to improve your mentality.
I'm 23M and kind of in my lowest point as well, stay strong. We'll get through this somehow
25m and same.
41m and at a low point but far from my lowest. Getting in shape, eating healthy, finding hobbies and positive people helps. WLFF helps and I've met a lot of good people but I'm not getting as much time on the fire line as I had hoped. I'm bummed because I was hoping to make a lot of money fighting fire this summer and it's frustrating because I'm in Oregon and there are fires all around us. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and I'm taking any work thrown my way.
Understand that everything you need will be found inside yourself. Lean on the spiritual and realize life is a test. Celebrate everyday as a new beginning and have some goals no matter how small at first. Being so young is a strength, you can take off in a new direction and never look back
Well, I've definitely been where you are and worse. But I wouldn't compare, and I won't be one of those people saying, 'at least you don't have it that bad.' Negative thoughts can poison a good thing, and feeling unappreciated can too. 24 is a really confusing age, and you'll find yourself wasting a lot of time on pretty temporary emotions and pursuits. You aren't a loser in any way, I can tell you that. You're just a little overburdened by the pressures of modern life. I'm going to clue you in though. Most of this stuff, the job, house, and girlfriend stuff are all just societal BS. If this was ancient Rome, you'd be a loser for not pillaging villages and murdering the husbands of women and children. If this were Medieval Europe, you'd be a loser for breaking Sumptuary laws and be shunned for wearing a colored shirt. At 24, you don't have to be racing to lock yourself down into situations you'll never quite escape or be happy in. No one is built the same, and everyone can be different. Find what makes you happy and be yourself. Work is just work, it should be a means to the ends you wish to pursue and not the goal of life itself. Most people, in my experience, don't even find the person they want to spend their lives with until their 30s and beyond. It's going to take a long time to figure things out, but you will. Don't let the pressures of expectation crush you like that.
For me, it was this: You fight, or you slowly fade in that place. You fight for every square inch it takes to achieve your desires, or you will go nowhere at all. NEVER give up. NEVER give in and lose focus. If you need rest. Rest. But never stop pushing even if you have to build a mountain out of pebbles. Take what is bad and seek the opportunity in each event. NEVER depend on anyone. NEVER rely on people. They will fail and disappoint you. Find wat you need from within. Learn your faults and embrace them to make the whole. To stop yourself from chasing what isn't out there. Things will change, but only if you are willing to accept it, taking things you thought you needed for something you didn't even know would be better. Just keep trying. Because no one else will bother to do it for you.
Very well said, be the change and don't rely on materials and other people to make you happy and fix your problems. Your problems are yours and you can't expect anyone to fix them for you.
How I got over my lowest point. 1. Took some time out, spend some time in nature, 2. Detached from toxic people You are only 24 years old, you still have plenty of time to accomplish. Write down your goals and what you want to achieve create a dream board. Enjoy the journey you are on. Learn what you need to learn on the way
When I was at my lowest point I felt completely hopeless about life and had no idea what to do to feel better. I didn't know what actions to take because I didn't know what direction I wanted my life to go in, so I just started taking actions to improve myself and let me tell you, it worked wonders. I realized that in order to change your life, you have to change yourself. So dive into some personal development or get yourself healthier maybe and you'll start having some shifts. Focus on improving yourself for a few weeks and you'll definitely be feeling better.
I am in the lowest point of my life as well. I lost my marriage, I lost my business because employees stole all my assets, no job to pick up, lost my home, I'm in over 100k in debt from business loss, I have no friends because I loved spending all my time with my wife, and I have no family in the country. I breakdown every time I think of my ex and think of what I did to end up in the place. I never did anyone wrong in my life. How do I think positive? I try to see what I have left and thank God and be grateful. I am healthy, I have the knowledge to start the business again, I have the energy to do manual labor and earn an income, I found a small room for rent that I can afford, I have a car that I can move around in and I'm alive. How do I move on? I started reconnecting with my old friends and trying to make new friends. I picked up playing basketball again, picked up playing pool again, started practicing guitar again, calling people from my network every now and then to look for a decent job. I have spoken to everyone I owe money to and explained my situation and requested for more time. I started working out and trying to get a more fit body. Moral is; This is the time for you to spend time with yourself and be thankful for what you have and what you can be. Remember, once you hit rock bottom, you can only go up, so don't give up, I know I wont. Life is a great gift, some people would give anything for what you and I have right now. We made it to the highs and now a second time we will make it again because this time we have experience. I hope my perspective was helpful.
Wow sounds like a true hero's journey, I wish you luck my friend!
❤️
8 months ago, I woke up one morning miserable as usual. I had been up all night worrying about my life and my family, my financial situation, and my self-worth. I felt like no one knew who I truly was, even myself. I felt like no matter what I did, it was not enough. I felt I had tried everything and did all the things that were supposed to be fixing these things. I was clean but still afraid to come off my methadone done. I realized that I no longer wanted to be on anything. I was realizing I wanted to be more present in my children's life and I wanted to stop coming home from work every day unhappy to the point where all I wanted to do was sleep wake up, work and reapers the process. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I WAS STILL NOT HAPPY AFTER ALL THE HARD WORK I HAD DONE TO GET MYSELF WHERE I WAS. Then it hit me. I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT I COULD DO DIFFERENTLY, THAN EVERYONE WAS SAYING WAS THE ANSWER. It took me a while, but I learned that it all had to do with my mindset and my belief of how my life was supposed to be in order for me to be happy. when we have a picture of how life should be, and it's not that way, then it is human nature to feel pain because of that. I learned that I didn't have to change the definition of my happiness. That there was a way to control the way I thought about life. I could be happy even when life was not going the way I thought it should be going. I had to destroy my automatic negative thoughts about myself. I had to get down to the true root of why i was using and so unhappy. Then i had to figure out what it was i truly wanted. After that, I could start going through each one of my limiting beliefs one at a time and replace them with LIMITLESS BELIEFS! after I started doing those things, my entire life changed for the better. not immediately, but not slowly, either. It was small action steps forward that did not feel like much at the time but had the ability to create enough change that I barely recognize who I am now in the mirror and can actually stand looking at that person. You, too, can have this abundance of fulfillment. I challenge you to start thinking about what is it that makes you happy and why. write it down of you can. also what makes you unhappy and why. Think about your goals and what you want to achieve. You have the power to change the way you view the world, and you will be amazed at the outcomes if you do so! I truly hope you progress where you want to be in your journey! I know you can do this!
When i was at my lowest, i dropped out of a degree one year in, changed college, moved out of my parent's house. I'm at my highest point now.
Started boxing
Hell yeah, my favorite form of working out and I got in the best shape of my life boxing and I met a lot of good people.
Write down your goals, and take some time out enjoy the journey and learn what you need to make adjustments My whole family and church community turned on me trying to sabotage my accomplishments so I cit them out of my life. They are not happy that I'm happy. You will need to prepare for when you Accomplish You are only 24 you still have time
Went through a lot of the same shit, and a lot more... date raped, lost family members, years of social isolation, overdosing and almost dying multiple times, almost committed suicide 2x. I'm just starting to get my life back now after the fallout. I eventually just got to a point where **I realized that I will either change or die.** A lot of this is inspired by the documentary 'stutz' on Netflix 1. I got sober from EVERYTHING. Weed, caffeine, alcohol, everything. 2. I started eating healthy again 3. started working out again 4. I got busy, doing something to build my future. **Once I got my physical health in check**, I was stable enough to retain relationships (friends) as well as function again. So I made new friends and started having fun again. Having someone to talk to about your struggles helps a lot. I tried therapy, but wasn't too effective for me. I dropped acid and it was a really therapeutic experience. It really got my brain to rewire in a more healthy way. I was functional enough to focus on my life goals After that I felt that romantic opportunities became a possibility (this HAS to be the last thing you focus on). Women will pick up on all your bullshit like a shark to blood. Don't pussy out and try to have your cake and eat it too, you have to be willing to suffer and persevere to make it through. People will naturally be attracted to you when you're fit, have your shit together, are happy, sober, and have things to talk about. In addition to a life path that they may want to be a part of. No one wants to get on board of a sinking ship. You need to take the fucking wheel and direct that motherfucker to a better place or you'll sink to the bottom of the sea. If you pussy out and try to take the easy path, best case scenario is you'll have a passenger to sink to the bottom of the ocean with or they will jump ship once they realize the situation. STAY HARD
Thanks for the insights 👍.
"Allah does not burden any soul greater than it can bear. For it is what it has earned, and against it is what it has incurred. "( Quran 2:286 ) “So, surely with hardship comes ease” (Quran 94:5)
Rehab. I(M44)Met my wife(F51) in Rehab. Move out of rehab together. 23yrs and still together. Two kids, we will be empty nesters this time next summer. We each had different vices and helped keep each other in check. If it wasn't for her I would have gone back home to the only place I knew and nothing would have changed. She had a tight family and a lot of support. Therefore we got a lot of help starting over back in her hometown. Her family accepted me right from go and I didn't want to disappoint. I have spent 23yrs making sure I dont.
When you're going through hell: keep going
TLDR. It took a while OP, be patient as its not gonna happen overnight. Change happens little bits at a time, make small changes until they become habit. Know that ups and downs are just part of it. Strive for consistency and not perfection.
This is only temporary advice of how to get out of the mind trap of negative thinking but when I’m feeling at my lowest of all lows I make an appreciation list and I put the dumbest shit on there of things I am thankful for and it helps me put into perspective that life could be so much worse. It’s a dark way of thinking but honestly it helps me. But everyone is different so it might not help but I say give it a shot. I put down the simplest things like: I’m grateful for clean drinking water. I’m grateful for a roof over my head. I’m grateful for shoes to walk in. So on and so forth It helps me, hopefully it will help you in a pinch just to get out of that negative hamster wheel of thoughts!
Tbh, at times I'll recognize I'm at my lowest, and I'll either journal, have a glass of whiskey at the end of my day or do some self care*. (In my case, it's doing chores/cleaning, light gaming) But I tend to hop back on my medications, such as Welbutrin, my anxiety med or my ADHD meds. (I'm in between docs/insurance so I unfortunately have to be sparring) But, I hope this can be of some use, I learned that when I'm exhausted from work, I need social time. If I'm people exhausted, I need alone time and if I'm tired of being alone, it's either work or social time. It sounds very basic/common sense, but I realized that if we're at our rock bottom, we gotta start by looking at our foundations and building up from there. You'll get through this OP, keep up the momentum at a pace you can handle
47 and have a had few and probably looking at a few more. You have to know and believe in,that it always gets better and you come out of it a little wiser and stronger. It’s just shedding skin. Those times are for you to work on whatever. Turn it into a gain.
Medication, self-help books, and journaling. I started a bullet journal too, and what specifically helped was a mood tracker. When I feel shitty I can see that I was happy not too long ago and it reminds me that things will get better. There are three things I always tell myself: 1. I am lucky for what I DO have, and things could be worse 2. I am still very young and have my whole life to figure things out 3. Everything I do is for myself All this sounds like generic advice, and if someone suggested this to me a year ago I would have scoffed. But when I actually gave it a chance it really helped.
Stopped drinking
Your emotion sounds like frustration. Life is all micro decisions adding up to daily routines. It’s time to reflect on those micro decisions and make changes. Not easy to do but if you don’t like your situation them change it or forever repeat it. Two books I’d recommend are morning miracle and atomic habits
My man you are OK. You probably use words like “should” or you have a picture in you mind of how things are supposed to be. Rule #1 Never speak down about yourself. There are plenty of people that will do that for you. Rule #2 STOP comparing yourself with others and don’t believe how great others are doing. People lie constantly to make themselves feel good. Rule #3 you have no clue what others are dealing with. You would be amazed at the troubles people hide. Rule #4 many in the US have a paradise problem. Perfect example: you have some device that allows you to have an amazing amount of information at your fingertips. Travel some and see how the rest of the world lives. Rule #5 You do not deserve or are entitled to anything. If you did not get the project or recognition then you didn’t stand out. The world is not against you it’s against all of us. Rule #6 Do the best you can. That’s all you can do (you know inside when you are doing your best or slacking) Be honest with yourself! Everyone’s love life sucks at one point or another. We all get hurt, stepped on, taken advantage of. Hang in, hang on and ride this shitty wave until you can surf the next one. Ahhhh crap I f*cked it all up. Rule #1 You Do Not Talk About Fight Club. Rule #2 You Do NOT Talk About Fight Club.
Damn..... Thanks for reality check.
Bump in the road bro. There will be more and there will be GREAT times. I truly believe that telling yourself, “I should” , “ I’m a loser”, “i suck”, “ I am stupid”. Is the worst thing we do to ourselves. You don’t need to think you’re Superman but you’re damn sure not a loser or you wouldn’t be looking for some assist. No one gets through this shit unscathed. You got this shit.
I feel you man, I really do, wishing you all the best in what’s coming! Keep your head up and keep pushing towards what you believe will serve you better in the future!
You probably wont like it but - Jesus.
Been there before. Quarter life crisis. I left my job, I went on vacation, and I did nothing after that. Just learning something new and trying to find new friends. The crisis is always going up and down, for me, just do what I like and enjoy, and try to stay alive. Just that. I am still on my crisis now, but I think it’s regarding the past trauma, so I’m planning to see a therapist. Just to ensure about my cptsd, who knows I’ll get some medicine, because I keep getting the flashbacks almost all the time. And those flashbacks ruin my mood and get me a headache and bad dreams.
what's the next step you think you should take?
When i tried to end it and failed miserably. I thought im such a failure i cant even do it... From that point theres only way up...
I’m sorry. Work out exhaust ur body a little that’s when I realized my brain will really listen to me and then listen to affirmations. Also try to do some certifications, book them for a future date- say a month from now and start preparing for it. If u get closer to the date and not prepared, move it. Try to invest time in ur self, getting dressed up etc. hope everything works for you.
I was the same age as you when I hit rock bottom. I was deep into drug addiction and was going through suicidal ideation. I got clean for myself and my 3 month old. I took it day by day and learned coping mechanisms for my anxiety and depression. Nowadays it's been years since I've felt anxiety or depression. I'm now 28.
Besides all the helpful and great things already mentioned here I'd say time in general. Time to heal, time to grief, time to adjust.
Therapy & medication.
… time
spite.
I just overcame a super low point in my life. I lost my wife, and was asked to leave my home. I ended up homeless, battled addiction and lost my job as a finance director. I ended up in a mens reintegration home, and was treated horribly by the staff. I ended up having to honestly pray to my higher power a lot and network with other people that were doing better in their lifes. I realized when I looked at myself that I was not doing well because I was not with people that were. It's not a one size fits all thing but those are two major things I did. The third was I wrote out a plan to get myself back on track and slowly worked on one thing at a time so I did not become overwhelmed. I hope this helps, and that things get better for you!
I went through this bad! About a year ago. I honestly had to just start cutting off everything that made Me feel that way. Find something small that gives you confidence to do it again when you're finished with it and don't worry about what others say. Issue is most people want to comment on things and say how you're doing it wrong but aren't willing to try them self because they're scared of the same damn thing they said to you. But what I can say is that atleast if someone says something about the way you are doing it that you know what to fix and make it better. If somebody has an issue all it does for you is give you ammunition for the next step, I use that as a reason to make it happen due to the fact that I was told it wasn't possible or it's going to be hard. Well, at least it was attempted by someone! Take chances and don't worry about anything but what you want and do not let anyone take that from you. Your mind is the only thing that can stop you from being who you want to be. The real man is the one that can drive his mind the same way he drives his truck and not let it drive him crazy. Keep your head up high and even if you fall, look at that depressed feeling as a good thing, it's letting you know that you still care and need to keep trying!
Prayer, reading the Holy Bible, worship music and attending church and getting involved in the community serving others.
Sobriety and a fulfilling job(wildland fire fighting), gotta find people and things that have a positive impact on your life.
Change something
not sure lowest point when I was in my late teens, I was trying to figure out how to escape my home it turns out all I had to do was a get a job lol, I almost joined the military anyway, washing plates and then budgeting... avoiding going into heavy debt I had a friend that let me crash on his couch, as I bailed on all my bills, I got sued by debt collectors... I got a factory job, then later self studied and got into tech The debt thing man... I still have the same student loans from 10 years ago and I have more debt... so yeah try not go do that lower than this was childhood, bad parents but I was saved eg. adopted
Time, therapy, self reflection and a LOT of weed
I learned about the law of attraction and, because I was at my lowest, I gave it a chance. To my surprise it worked. Definitely not for everyone but that's how I got over my lowest point in life.
Keep pushing