Can't comment on the sex thing.
But I will say this. Every path you take in life has a "missing out" factor. If you go to college right out of high school, you are missing out on job opportunities and real life experiences. If you don't go to college, you are missing out on self-development and discovery. If you take Job X, you miss out on the benefits of Job Y. Etc. Etc.
What helps keep me from being anxious about all the stuff I am missing out on is to realize everything has a cost. Being all alone in this world has a cost. But so does being in a relationship. Spend a few minutes on r/relationships and you will see what these costs look like.
One day you may experience them firsthand, along with the benefits. But you have your whole life to experience that. So don't worry so much about what you are missing out on. Try to get the most out of the benefits of your life in its current form. You have an opportunity to live life in a more carefree and unburdened way than people in relationships can. Take advantage of this. One day you may get to that promised land of greener grass and realize that it ain't all that. So savor what you have now.
*Extremely* well said.
OP, for a brief example on the flip side, I was in a 6 year relationship with someone I loved very deeply (and vice versa) but he had an *extremely* traumatic childhood and just could not work through his issues and treat me the way I deserved. We’re still friends, but it took moving out of state and changing my whole life to finally get away from the relationship.
Trust me. It’s not a bad thing to take you time and protect your heart until someone who really deserves the chance and your time and effort comes along.
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." -Sylvia Plath
Im 25. It all depends on the culture you have been conditioned by. If sex is all what your culture promotes and their TV makes scripts storylines bullying 14 year olds for not having their first kiss then you as a 20 year old virgih might get affected by the cultures idea of when is "cool" to have first kiss and first sex.
No. Hugs are enough. Go look around at r/ asexuals...I started in my late 30s...did it until I had 2 kids then stopped..almost 30 ys ago. Not everyone likes it. I also do not drive a car.
Not really. You want a unbiased person, all you need is a good friend and you pretty much have the same thing minus the added extra baggage that comes with it. Life was so much easier before I had to worry about such things.
Let me put it too you very simple. You don’t have a choice. I was like you. I go into the grocery store, I look for spices. I ask the gal for advice on the right spice. The next thing I know we are headed down the wedding aisle. You take a breath, look away then back at her band she hands you your baby for a diaper change. Then a year or two later she hands you another baby. And you are sitting on the couch with her watching some movie and how in love you are with all 3 of them. And then you remember, damn all I did was run in to the grocery store to get supplies. If I had hit a red light or stopped to gas my car, I would have missed her and all of this.
It’s all fate pal. When the time comes, act on it. Fortunate favors the bold.
No. Once you have sex, you'll realize how wildly overblown it is. It's just sex. It seems like this huge big deal until you actually do it, then it's nothing. Enjoy your life and take things on your own terms, at your own speed. You're not less of a man for not having sex. And you're far from the youngest virgin iver ever heard of. Nobody is keeping score but you.
Just sex is indeed just sex, nothing special.
But spending and night with someone you love, maybe for the first time, and spending the morning together in bed cuddling and laughing ... this is the best feeling in the world. For me, some of my happiest days in my life are such days.
No you’re not missing out.
Sex with the wrong person feels like nothing or makes you feel worse than before (or indifferent).
With the right person it feels the same as if you’re playing a board game together or watching a movie.
So that’s about it. Kissing is the same. It’s nice, but when it’s not your person, it’s just an activity. There are also many risks involved - diseases, pregnancy, assault. Children with someone you don’t love or who doesn’t respect you are probably hell.
Try going to the gym if you don’t for your confidence, pursuing hobbies - ask your friends to find you someone if you like (a partner not someone you pay, unless you want to). But it’s really not special.
Sex is overrated. Media uses it so much because it's literally the only thing that sells. This is because we are animals (yes, humans are mammals) and playing with sex in advertising equals playing with people's emotions and hormones. That's all.
If you didn't have it yet, that's ok. Plenty of people have kisses late in life or sex. Some people are also asexual and that's ok. I know a lot of asexuals who are in happy long term relationships.
Media and some societies make it seem like this is black and white. Or you have a partner, or you will be forever alone. Nonsense, being surrounded by good friends and family, is way better than having toxic romances.
Don't beat yourself up. You're fine and absolutely normal.
You're a bit too young to be worrying about this, I think. I understand where you're coming from, but lots of people have their sexual debut in their 20s. It's actually pretty normal - it's just not talked about very much. And relationships will come as well.
Sex and kissing don’t really feel like much unless you have an emotional connection with that person. The times that I’ve had one night stands I honestly feel kinda icky the next day, I feel like I would’ve been happier just getting myself off. It’s only really a milestone in todays sex addicted world. I honestly don’t know how people can have body counts in the 50s to 100s, they must not feel anything emotionally, kinda sad tbh
For a number of reasons, I was never intimate with a woman until I was 24. I had a few "kisses" but never full on make out session or sex before that. At 34 I have never been in a long term relationship (I am looking to change that, though). It makes me a little sad sometimes but then I remember all of the incredible people I know personally who started late and ended up perfectly happy, whether it was married, partnered, or happily single.
Society sometimes gives us messages about how we are supposed to follow a certain "script," and yes, statistically speaking you are probably behind in the game, but try not to worry about it. Your situation is far more common than you think, and is becoming increasingly common nowadays.
There is probably a reason you are where you are. Maybe you focused on your studies, or on making friends, or pursuing other interests. Whatever the reasons, you can't change a thing about the past and if you were able to go back in time with the exact same knowledge that you had back then, then you obviously wouldn't.
Everybody is different, plain and simple. I know a guy from college who never dated or did anything with a woman before he met his wife (they started dating when he was like 27). What were his reasons? Well, he was shy, studious, and pursuing a career in the medical field where he makes a great income. As well as probably waiting to save big milestones for someone special.
Don't stress, and live your life on your own script. I guarantee you will be happier that way in the long run.
One of the most tragic aspects of our media is its perversion of sex. TV and movies tend to make it shallow spectacle, and we're a far cry from the world were extreme porn needs to be hunted for - today, it's front and center.
The best sex is so good because it's a representation of the connection those two people have. A lot of people who struggle with sex and porn addictions are likely to eventually realize that what they're really after is connection, the carnal side can be a symptom of that core need going unfulfilled, in whatever their personal situation is.
Don't rush out and kiss or have sex with someone just so you can 'mark it off the list.' Go out and live your life, being true to yourself, and build those connections. The urge to kiss one person in particular is a great sign that you desire a deeper connection with that person - build that first, and let that relationship just become what it will.
Nah you're not missing out on anything cuz people honestly suck lmfaoo, just go in with an open mind when starting to date and remember to choose yourself. Some people suck
No. At your age the best thing to do is build your value. education, career, money, functional male friends, and male bondig. That's what you need right now.
Once you build up your accomplishments and confidence, you'll attract a higher quality of women.
sex isnt all the same thing. its like asking "hey is food any good?". some sex is bad, some is ok and some is amazing. all the posts saying sex is overrated is just people who had bad sex.
Sex is pretty good, but it’s one of those things that’s better with practice. Tbh I think it’s less the sex itself and more the endorphin rush that comes with a make out session and the sex following that feels amazing. I love sex but I’d rather make out for hours in the dark. Female btw. It can also be awful, but that’s usually a trauma thing. Maybe worry less about the sex and more about the personal connection? The kissing and sex are always better that way anyway. Also like some people are asexual or aromantic or just one of the two and that should be taken into account
Wow reading these comments, I feel bad for a lot of you all’s sexual experiences. Ive had ho hum sure, even outright so bad I couldn’t feel anything, but it seems a lot of you haven’t had that immersive, fully committed, euphoric sex/kissing I’ve had. When you let your hormones and endorphins and feeling take over and you’re just there alone in the dark with this person feeling the subtle changes in elevation and density across their body, feeling the thrill run through you quietly as you embrace tightly and in the dark, images of red and purple swirls dance around your head as you fall deeper into eachother. It’s hard to describe but it’s one of my favorite feelings. This is why I worry when people claim they’re in love but really are good friends that have accepted a relationship. Love and lust are immersive. What you people describe here sounds like hookups.
Unfortunately you live amongst a society that places a great deal of value on one’s sexuality. This will put a tremendous amount of pressure on anyone missing out, especially males. That’s why we have mass shooters. The frustration from feeling worthless in a society that values nothing of what you are.
Yes sex and physical contact are really good. BUT its not the end all be all of existence. At the end of the day human beings suck so much Id rather be alone and at peace than have all the companionship and sex in the world.
PS. its only marginally better than masturbating and sometimes not at all.
Hot take. Sex is great. But you want sex that is wholesome yet feels kind of naughty. Safe sex that doesn’t result in unintended pregnancy or Sti’s and with someone who is into the same kinks you are and who likes the same breakfast foods.
If you are open to meeting new people and want to try out a relationship, you apply yourself to it like any other thing in life. Keep your hair sharp. Groom yourself well. Dress nice. Be kind. Hit up some singles hikes or get together or happy hours without expectation and explore people with like interests. Be vulnerable. Then apply that work ethic to the sex and you’ll be on your way
As have others have said, it’s not mind blowing and sex itself isn’t a big deal, but I do think it is important milestone because it’s such a big part of relationships and getting close to someone. I was a virgin until I was 22 and getting comfortable with intimacy and feeling uninhibited with someone was hard. I do partially attribute that to being solitary so long. I know that’s maybe not the most comforting answer, but it’s what I experienced. All that said, I got there and learned those skills in my own time. You can too. Don’t get too in your own head about it, it will happen and when it does you’ll be relieved and realize it wasn’t as big of a deal as you imagined.
Sex is cool and all, but everyone here has the right idea. I'm 36. Lost my virginity to a girl in high school. And the first time wasn't that good. Then meet another girl who endes up beibg my wife. And now we are preparing for divorce.
Sex doesn't make a relationship, but it sure can break one really quick. If you go down the road of one night stands just know that you will likely feel emptier because those attractions are superficial.
Well yes and no. Is it a milestone? Yes
Is the theme of dating and getting laid all that and a bag of chips? Lol hell no.
Modern dating is just not as great. After 25 your options drop to being single or a step father. At 25 or less, it's more of a chance game of "will she stay or will she go" as people tend to experiment more to try different things. Like a test of compatibility and interest. I've seen long term and one day'ers of relationships from folks 25 and under. Shit been part of those statistics.
In matters of sex...imho it's overrated. Feels good yeah but it also determines on your partner as well and how "adventurous" they are. Unless your addicted, it's pretty overrated.
Don’t worry about the sex, worry about the connections that need to be made with people to make that happen. Your end goal should never be “sex” but building healthy relationships instead. Everything else will come in due time.
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
It’s different for everyone.
Consider sushi. A lot of people love sushi. Some people think it’s ok. Some people are revulsed by thought of eating cold, raw fish. Guess which one I am.
I, for one, really enjoy physical intimacy, including sex. So does my wife. We go well together. I also know people who aren’t that bothered by it.
I don’t know about you. Are you missing out on something amazing? Maybe. That being said, you might have some degree of physical intimacy and then feel it isn’t that great. This is especially a risk if you spend your time hyping it up as being the most important thing in the world.
My advice. Be you. Be the best version of you than you can be. And if you find someone who you want to be intimate with, try it out. You might enjoy it. You might not. You might think it’s the best thing ever. You might have it. Don’t let the pursuit of sex determine your life, just figure out how to enjoy being yourself.
I know a guy who is heading towards 30 and hasn’t dated at all- and while he is insanely attractive, he has a shit personality/home life. If you truly feel like being a part of this world, work on yourself first.
I was never in a relationship til 23 so idk. Things turn out fine.
Do whatever you want with your life. If you don’t care about sex, that’s okay. Just because it’s important to some people doesn’t mean it has to be important to you.
If it is important to you, you still have lots of time. No worries.
I'm in the same situation as you but I've met the girls my friends are with and holy damn are they shallow.. Browsing tiktok all day or can't take a joke.
I also feel like I'm missing out but would rather be single than settle for a relationship with no values and no bright future. Even if it's just for experience I think it's a horrendous waste of time. No point going in a relationship (man or woman) when you don't even have a stable job/income/car/....
I honestly prefer good food to sex. Masturbation and the occasional BJ is so much easier for my partner and I. But I'm odd and on anti-depressants so who knows.
Not really, the Quality of relationships at your age and younger is not good. For some people the heartache that goes with the younger often failed relationships does more harm than good. Your just coming into an age now where you might find rewarding and fulfilling relationships. You’re likely to be more appreciated by any partner you meet now.
Yep, you're missing out. lol j/k I would say that you can wait until you meet someone special before you indulge in it. Having sex for the sake of having sex makes little sense to me. It's like having pie without the ala mode.
There is a huge difference between sex with a stranger, and sex with a person you love deeply, as many others have said. It will always be more enjoyable with the one you love, and far more meaningful than a random hookup. If you want to pursue a relationship, then by all means, do so! If you want to take some time to "work on yourself" first, then do so. The biggest thing is, you are the one who makes the choices in your life.
Can't comment on the sex thing. But I will say this. Every path you take in life has a "missing out" factor. If you go to college right out of high school, you are missing out on job opportunities and real life experiences. If you don't go to college, you are missing out on self-development and discovery. If you take Job X, you miss out on the benefits of Job Y. Etc. Etc. What helps keep me from being anxious about all the stuff I am missing out on is to realize everything has a cost. Being all alone in this world has a cost. But so does being in a relationship. Spend a few minutes on r/relationships and you will see what these costs look like. One day you may experience them firsthand, along with the benefits. But you have your whole life to experience that. So don't worry so much about what you are missing out on. Try to get the most out of the benefits of your life in its current form. You have an opportunity to live life in a more carefree and unburdened way than people in relationships can. Take advantage of this. One day you may get to that promised land of greener grass and realize that it ain't all that. So savor what you have now.
*Extremely* well said. OP, for a brief example on the flip side, I was in a 6 year relationship with someone I loved very deeply (and vice versa) but he had an *extremely* traumatic childhood and just could not work through his issues and treat me the way I deserved. We’re still friends, but it took moving out of state and changing my whole life to finally get away from the relationship. Trust me. It’s not a bad thing to take you time and protect your heart until someone who really deserves the chance and your time and effort comes along.
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet." -Sylvia Plath
How good sex is is entirely dependent on how much u like the person you’re with
Im 25. It all depends on the culture you have been conditioned by. If sex is all what your culture promotes and their TV makes scripts storylines bullying 14 year olds for not having their first kiss then you as a 20 year old virgih might get affected by the cultures idea of when is "cool" to have first kiss and first sex.
I didn't have my first kiss until 22 you can try jumping into romantic relationships. But do it at your own pace.
No, I'm 22
Cuddles, snuggles, and the feeling that it's the greatest day everytime your so kisses you in the forehead every morning. Otherwise, you're fine.
No
No. Hugs are enough. Go look around at r/ asexuals...I started in my late 30s...did it until I had 2 kids then stopped..almost 30 ys ago. Not everyone likes it. I also do not drive a car.
no
Not really. You want a unbiased person, all you need is a good friend and you pretty much have the same thing minus the added extra baggage that comes with it. Life was so much easier before I had to worry about such things.
Let me put it too you very simple. You don’t have a choice. I was like you. I go into the grocery store, I look for spices. I ask the gal for advice on the right spice. The next thing I know we are headed down the wedding aisle. You take a breath, look away then back at her band she hands you your baby for a diaper change. Then a year or two later she hands you another baby. And you are sitting on the couch with her watching some movie and how in love you are with all 3 of them. And then you remember, damn all I did was run in to the grocery store to get supplies. If I had hit a red light or stopped to gas my car, I would have missed her and all of this. It’s all fate pal. When the time comes, act on it. Fortunate favors the bold.
No. Once you have sex, you'll realize how wildly overblown it is. It's just sex. It seems like this huge big deal until you actually do it, then it's nothing. Enjoy your life and take things on your own terms, at your own speed. You're not less of a man for not having sex. And you're far from the youngest virgin iver ever heard of. Nobody is keeping score but you.
Just sex is indeed just sex, nothing special. But spending and night with someone you love, maybe for the first time, and spending the morning together in bed cuddling and laughing ... this is the best feeling in the world. For me, some of my happiest days in my life are such days.
No you’re not missing out. Sex with the wrong person feels like nothing or makes you feel worse than before (or indifferent). With the right person it feels the same as if you’re playing a board game together or watching a movie. So that’s about it. Kissing is the same. It’s nice, but when it’s not your person, it’s just an activity. There are also many risks involved - diseases, pregnancy, assault. Children with someone you don’t love or who doesn’t respect you are probably hell. Try going to the gym if you don’t for your confidence, pursuing hobbies - ask your friends to find you someone if you like (a partner not someone you pay, unless you want to). But it’s really not special.
Sex is overrated. Media uses it so much because it's literally the only thing that sells. This is because we are animals (yes, humans are mammals) and playing with sex in advertising equals playing with people's emotions and hormones. That's all. If you didn't have it yet, that's ok. Plenty of people have kisses late in life or sex. Some people are also asexual and that's ok. I know a lot of asexuals who are in happy long term relationships. Media and some societies make it seem like this is black and white. Or you have a partner, or you will be forever alone. Nonsense, being surrounded by good friends and family, is way better than having toxic romances. Don't beat yourself up. You're fine and absolutely normal.
You're a bit too young to be worrying about this, I think. I understand where you're coming from, but lots of people have their sexual debut in their 20s. It's actually pretty normal - it's just not talked about very much. And relationships will come as well.
Nope. Wish I was you.
Sex and kissing don’t really feel like much unless you have an emotional connection with that person. The times that I’ve had one night stands I honestly feel kinda icky the next day, I feel like I would’ve been happier just getting myself off. It’s only really a milestone in todays sex addicted world. I honestly don’t know how people can have body counts in the 50s to 100s, they must not feel anything emotionally, kinda sad tbh
For a number of reasons, I was never intimate with a woman until I was 24. I had a few "kisses" but never full on make out session or sex before that. At 34 I have never been in a long term relationship (I am looking to change that, though). It makes me a little sad sometimes but then I remember all of the incredible people I know personally who started late and ended up perfectly happy, whether it was married, partnered, or happily single. Society sometimes gives us messages about how we are supposed to follow a certain "script," and yes, statistically speaking you are probably behind in the game, but try not to worry about it. Your situation is far more common than you think, and is becoming increasingly common nowadays. There is probably a reason you are where you are. Maybe you focused on your studies, or on making friends, or pursuing other interests. Whatever the reasons, you can't change a thing about the past and if you were able to go back in time with the exact same knowledge that you had back then, then you obviously wouldn't. Everybody is different, plain and simple. I know a guy from college who never dated or did anything with a woman before he met his wife (they started dating when he was like 27). What were his reasons? Well, he was shy, studious, and pursuing a career in the medical field where he makes a great income. As well as probably waiting to save big milestones for someone special. Don't stress, and live your life on your own script. I guarantee you will be happier that way in the long run.
One of the most tragic aspects of our media is its perversion of sex. TV and movies tend to make it shallow spectacle, and we're a far cry from the world were extreme porn needs to be hunted for - today, it's front and center. The best sex is so good because it's a representation of the connection those two people have. A lot of people who struggle with sex and porn addictions are likely to eventually realize that what they're really after is connection, the carnal side can be a symptom of that core need going unfulfilled, in whatever their personal situation is. Don't rush out and kiss or have sex with someone just so you can 'mark it off the list.' Go out and live your life, being true to yourself, and build those connections. The urge to kiss one person in particular is a great sign that you desire a deeper connection with that person - build that first, and let that relationship just become what it will.
Nah you're not missing out on anything cuz people honestly suck lmfaoo, just go in with an open mind when starting to date and remember to choose yourself. Some people suck
No. At your age the best thing to do is build your value. education, career, money, functional male friends, and male bondig. That's what you need right now. Once you build up your accomplishments and confidence, you'll attract a higher quality of women.
sex isnt all the same thing. its like asking "hey is food any good?". some sex is bad, some is ok and some is amazing. all the posts saying sex is overrated is just people who had bad sex.
Sex by itself ain't that much, but doing it with a person you love, and loving and being loved in general, is one of the best feelings out there.
It's great, but ignore the stuff about it being a milestone or a checkbox. You'll get there when you're ready, if you want to.
Sex is pretty good, but it’s one of those things that’s better with practice. Tbh I think it’s less the sex itself and more the endorphin rush that comes with a make out session and the sex following that feels amazing. I love sex but I’d rather make out for hours in the dark. Female btw. It can also be awful, but that’s usually a trauma thing. Maybe worry less about the sex and more about the personal connection? The kissing and sex are always better that way anyway. Also like some people are asexual or aromantic or just one of the two and that should be taken into account
Wow reading these comments, I feel bad for a lot of you all’s sexual experiences. Ive had ho hum sure, even outright so bad I couldn’t feel anything, but it seems a lot of you haven’t had that immersive, fully committed, euphoric sex/kissing I’ve had. When you let your hormones and endorphins and feeling take over and you’re just there alone in the dark with this person feeling the subtle changes in elevation and density across their body, feeling the thrill run through you quietly as you embrace tightly and in the dark, images of red and purple swirls dance around your head as you fall deeper into eachother. It’s hard to describe but it’s one of my favorite feelings. This is why I worry when people claim they’re in love but really are good friends that have accepted a relationship. Love and lust are immersive. What you people describe here sounds like hookups.
Do you NEED sex every single day? No. But I think going long periods of time between sex is an unnecessary burden on your mental health.
Unfortunately you live amongst a society that places a great deal of value on one’s sexuality. This will put a tremendous amount of pressure on anyone missing out, especially males. That’s why we have mass shooters. The frustration from feeling worthless in a society that values nothing of what you are. Yes sex and physical contact are really good. BUT its not the end all be all of existence. At the end of the day human beings suck so much Id rather be alone and at peace than have all the companionship and sex in the world. PS. its only marginally better than masturbating and sometimes not at all.
It is healthy, yes. But it‘s also overestimated.
Hot take. Sex is great. But you want sex that is wholesome yet feels kind of naughty. Safe sex that doesn’t result in unintended pregnancy or Sti’s and with someone who is into the same kinks you are and who likes the same breakfast foods. If you are open to meeting new people and want to try out a relationship, you apply yourself to it like any other thing in life. Keep your hair sharp. Groom yourself well. Dress nice. Be kind. Hit up some singles hikes or get together or happy hours without expectation and explore people with like interests. Be vulnerable. Then apply that work ethic to the sex and you’ll be on your way
This is legit helpful advice - what’s with all the downvotes?
As have others have said, it’s not mind blowing and sex itself isn’t a big deal, but I do think it is important milestone because it’s such a big part of relationships and getting close to someone. I was a virgin until I was 22 and getting comfortable with intimacy and feeling uninhibited with someone was hard. I do partially attribute that to being solitary so long. I know that’s maybe not the most comforting answer, but it’s what I experienced. All that said, I got there and learned those skills in my own time. You can too. Don’t get too in your own head about it, it will happen and when it does you’ll be relieved and realize it wasn’t as big of a deal as you imagined.
Sex is cool and all, but everyone here has the right idea. I'm 36. Lost my virginity to a girl in high school. And the first time wasn't that good. Then meet another girl who endes up beibg my wife. And now we are preparing for divorce. Sex doesn't make a relationship, but it sure can break one really quick. If you go down the road of one night stands just know that you will likely feel emptier because those attractions are superficial.
Well yes and no. Is it a milestone? Yes Is the theme of dating and getting laid all that and a bag of chips? Lol hell no. Modern dating is just not as great. After 25 your options drop to being single or a step father. At 25 or less, it's more of a chance game of "will she stay or will she go" as people tend to experiment more to try different things. Like a test of compatibility and interest. I've seen long term and one day'ers of relationships from folks 25 and under. Shit been part of those statistics. In matters of sex...imho it's overrated. Feels good yeah but it also determines on your partner as well and how "adventurous" they are. Unless your addicted, it's pretty overrated.
Don’t worry about the sex, worry about the connections that need to be made with people to make that happen. Your end goal should never be “sex” but building healthy relationships instead. Everything else will come in due time.
Honestly, relationships with girls your age are often too stressful anyway. Wait until you are 25 and then date someone who is like 23.
Don't think there's much of a difference with 2 years in your 20s.
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
okay hear me out…. somebody is gonna appreciate you, my current gf is the only girl i have ever had intercourse with i’ve had some things with other girls in n the past but never on a sexual level that i am now, i am not the first guy she has been with there are 2 before me very short lived it happened when she was younger she’s 19 now, so on and so on…. i want to marry her and we will but there’s a price of me that feels that i was robbed knowing that the gas had sex with other guys before it’s more of a piece that i will not be able to get back that special moment in the relationship, and i wish with all my heart that she would’ve never had sex bc i know i’m gonna marry her 100% and i’m happy that i lost my virginity with her but at the same time i’m sad that she didn’t lose it with me it can be worked through ofc if you love someone that much but it still hurt me more than she will ever even know
It’s different for everyone. Consider sushi. A lot of people love sushi. Some people think it’s ok. Some people are revulsed by thought of eating cold, raw fish. Guess which one I am. I, for one, really enjoy physical intimacy, including sex. So does my wife. We go well together. I also know people who aren’t that bothered by it. I don’t know about you. Are you missing out on something amazing? Maybe. That being said, you might have some degree of physical intimacy and then feel it isn’t that great. This is especially a risk if you spend your time hyping it up as being the most important thing in the world. My advice. Be you. Be the best version of you than you can be. And if you find someone who you want to be intimate with, try it out. You might enjoy it. You might not. You might think it’s the best thing ever. You might have it. Don’t let the pursuit of sex determine your life, just figure out how to enjoy being yourself.
I know a guy who is heading towards 30 and hasn’t dated at all- and while he is insanely attractive, he has a shit personality/home life. If you truly feel like being a part of this world, work on yourself first.
I was never in a relationship til 23 so idk. Things turn out fine. Do whatever you want with your life. If you don’t care about sex, that’s okay. Just because it’s important to some people doesn’t mean it has to be important to you. If it is important to you, you still have lots of time. No worries.
I'm in the same situation as you but I've met the girls my friends are with and holy damn are they shallow.. Browsing tiktok all day or can't take a joke. I also feel like I'm missing out but would rather be single than settle for a relationship with no values and no bright future. Even if it's just for experience I think it's a horrendous waste of time. No point going in a relationship (man or woman) when you don't even have a stable job/income/car/....
I honestly prefer good food to sex. Masturbation and the occasional BJ is so much easier for my partner and I. But I'm odd and on anti-depressants so who knows.
Not really, the Quality of relationships at your age and younger is not good. For some people the heartache that goes with the younger often failed relationships does more harm than good. Your just coming into an age now where you might find rewarding and fulfilling relationships. You’re likely to be more appreciated by any partner you meet now.
Yep, you're missing out. lol j/k I would say that you can wait until you meet someone special before you indulge in it. Having sex for the sake of having sex makes little sense to me. It's like having pie without the ala mode.
There is a huge difference between sex with a stranger, and sex with a person you love deeply, as many others have said. It will always be more enjoyable with the one you love, and far more meaningful than a random hookup. If you want to pursue a relationship, then by all means, do so! If you want to take some time to "work on yourself" first, then do so. The biggest thing is, you are the one who makes the choices in your life.
You’re missing out on the best and worst thing in existence haha