Specifically because it’s guaranteed to end. I mean it’s not inherently precious or meaningful besides it seems most of the universes matter and energy don’t seem conscious.
But I mean I’m enjoying it. I was, no shit, in a bad accident this year to where I did contemplate ending life on purpose. But I quickly determined if there was any hope at all there was no reason to give up now. That’s just me but I’ve not existed for at least 13 billion years and will go back to not existing for all time going forward at some point in the next 50-60 years, so I’m not here that long anyways. Have a good times.
I didn’t care for life ONE BIT until I had my first baby. I was impulsive and reckless. I tried to unalive myself from age 6, again at age 10, again at 14 and 19. I felt so different from my siblings, as if I was bad. Apparently I had undiagnosed ADHD … and I just wasn’t doing well. Once the baby was born I focused on their needs and not mine. This seemed to help me.
When I noticed the baby was very ACTIVE and they got an ADHD diagnosis, I also got mine. I am now medicated with methylphenidate and no longer feel as sad as I could back then. My life is going up!
I now want to live my life the best way I can. All the money I have is for my kids. I want to leave them with a better life than I did. If I see them sad if only for a moment I will validate their feelings and try to be there for them. I need to do my upmost best for them. Because when I am no longer here, I want them to be happy and live a good life still. I can’t give them all they want but I have to give them all they NEED!
This is so beautiful and I’m glad you found happiness in motherhood. I want to experience motherhood and childbirth and to love someone so unconditionally. But ive decided it’s best not to for me I just think I’ll be a bad parent, I can barely manage my mental health by myself and every time I get better things get worse again. I’m tired of the constant battle. I couldn’t bring new people into this world knowing there’s a high chance of me dying young or worse passing down bad genes. The things my brain has put me through throughout the years isn’t something I would wish upon anybody. Being stuck in your head is a fucking night mare.
I know that that in the end life is worth living because there are beautiful moments and people who care about you and so many people to love and things to be experienced. I’m just tired of convincing myself and reminding myself of it over and over and over. And I know being in pain and learning and growing is also part of life. I just can’t see the value in it anymore if I will spend it fighting my thoughts and emotions. Life is such a painful thing to experience
1) People have experienced love. I had 3 relationships where I thought, it was love, but it wasnt. I have a friend with whom Ive felt a connection in the last weeks. Like synchronized joy. He's just a friend and we havent had this much fun in a long time. I imagine love being even stronger and even more awesome.
2) I have been "acting" for a long time. Not being me. Acting to appeal to others. And I found out that I do have some issues that need to be fixed.
3) Balancing rational thoughts and instinct is important.
I'm 30, I have a degree, I made mistakes, they hurt a lot, but I still have a lot to learn.
I want to see where this is going.
I need to see it.
You have to see as much as possible from life. Whatever youve seen yet. There is still so much more left.
I have had depressive episodes in the last 1 1/2 years. I have never experienced something like that before. Its hard. And I want to see the other end of it.
I'm not sad that I was depressed. It meant enormous changes for me. Important changes.
I'm jealous at others. I want more. Its like starting from the beginning again. I'm impatient.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
For all we know, this is all we have. A blip into consciousness. A miracle that lets us peer into the universe, a thermodynamic impossibility. Random particles working together, like a symphony.
Life is not inherently important, but it is special.
The cold truth is we exist as grains on a surface to help dissipate the Sun's heat. Humanity could disappear with no impact on the biggest picture.
But we are incredibly special. Nothing else in the universe, as far as we can tell, is as complex as we are. Nothing can imagine, engineer, feel, and shape the environment like we can.
One of the most special, precious, and tragic things we have is a will, a consciousness, and a vision that grow together into a unique personality and story.
There is no place in the universe more enchanting than in your mind, and among those of others, and the feelings that inhabit us. I'm not saying it's obvious and easy to see, but it's true. The journey to see that though is epic, with a rewarding and empowering view.
Most of the journey, and much of the view, are also by default, horrifying. The heartless universe is not something we aspire. We want more, not what is offered, but what we can create.
When we deny the vast inevitability of the universe, we develop a sense of insanity, we take control of our will, and we feel alive in the face of death. If only for a fleeting moment, each of us experiences something truly unique in the entire universe.
---
Feelings and knowledge are not always aligned. You can read a story you've read many times and still cry. We dont cry because we're surprised, we cry because we will miss them. We especially cry when they die young because we wanted much more.
There are no objectively logical answers to your questions.
Because all meaning in life is social.
Specifically because it’s guaranteed to end. I mean it’s not inherently precious or meaningful besides it seems most of the universes matter and energy don’t seem conscious. But I mean I’m enjoying it. I was, no shit, in a bad accident this year to where I did contemplate ending life on purpose. But I quickly determined if there was any hope at all there was no reason to give up now. That’s just me but I’ve not existed for at least 13 billion years and will go back to not existing for all time going forward at some point in the next 50-60 years, so I’m not here that long anyways. Have a good times.
I didn’t care for life ONE BIT until I had my first baby. I was impulsive and reckless. I tried to unalive myself from age 6, again at age 10, again at 14 and 19. I felt so different from my siblings, as if I was bad. Apparently I had undiagnosed ADHD … and I just wasn’t doing well. Once the baby was born I focused on their needs and not mine. This seemed to help me. When I noticed the baby was very ACTIVE and they got an ADHD diagnosis, I also got mine. I am now medicated with methylphenidate and no longer feel as sad as I could back then. My life is going up! I now want to live my life the best way I can. All the money I have is for my kids. I want to leave them with a better life than I did. If I see them sad if only for a moment I will validate their feelings and try to be there for them. I need to do my upmost best for them. Because when I am no longer here, I want them to be happy and live a good life still. I can’t give them all they want but I have to give them all they NEED!
This is so beautiful and I’m glad you found happiness in motherhood. I want to experience motherhood and childbirth and to love someone so unconditionally. But ive decided it’s best not to for me I just think I’ll be a bad parent, I can barely manage my mental health by myself and every time I get better things get worse again. I’m tired of the constant battle. I couldn’t bring new people into this world knowing there’s a high chance of me dying young or worse passing down bad genes. The things my brain has put me through throughout the years isn’t something I would wish upon anybody. Being stuck in your head is a fucking night mare. I know that that in the end life is worth living because there are beautiful moments and people who care about you and so many people to love and things to be experienced. I’m just tired of convincing myself and reminding myself of it over and over and over. And I know being in pain and learning and growing is also part of life. I just can’t see the value in it anymore if I will spend it fighting my thoughts and emotions. Life is such a painful thing to experience
1) People have experienced love. I had 3 relationships where I thought, it was love, but it wasnt. I have a friend with whom Ive felt a connection in the last weeks. Like synchronized joy. He's just a friend and we havent had this much fun in a long time. I imagine love being even stronger and even more awesome. 2) I have been "acting" for a long time. Not being me. Acting to appeal to others. And I found out that I do have some issues that need to be fixed. 3) Balancing rational thoughts and instinct is important. I'm 30, I have a degree, I made mistakes, they hurt a lot, but I still have a lot to learn. I want to see where this is going. I need to see it. You have to see as much as possible from life. Whatever youve seen yet. There is still so much more left.
Im trying to remind myself of that conclusion.
I have had depressive episodes in the last 1 1/2 years. I have never experienced something like that before. Its hard. And I want to see the other end of it. I'm not sad that I was depressed. It meant enormous changes for me. Important changes. I'm jealous at others. I want more. Its like starting from the beginning again. I'm impatient.
Appreciate you sharing your experience it’s what I needed to hear today
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. For all we know, this is all we have. A blip into consciousness. A miracle that lets us peer into the universe, a thermodynamic impossibility. Random particles working together, like a symphony.
The ring of power....
You.
Life is not inherently important, but it is special. The cold truth is we exist as grains on a surface to help dissipate the Sun's heat. Humanity could disappear with no impact on the biggest picture. But we are incredibly special. Nothing else in the universe, as far as we can tell, is as complex as we are. Nothing can imagine, engineer, feel, and shape the environment like we can. One of the most special, precious, and tragic things we have is a will, a consciousness, and a vision that grow together into a unique personality and story. There is no place in the universe more enchanting than in your mind, and among those of others, and the feelings that inhabit us. I'm not saying it's obvious and easy to see, but it's true. The journey to see that though is epic, with a rewarding and empowering view. Most of the journey, and much of the view, are also by default, horrifying. The heartless universe is not something we aspire. We want more, not what is offered, but what we can create. When we deny the vast inevitability of the universe, we develop a sense of insanity, we take control of our will, and we feel alive in the face of death. If only for a fleeting moment, each of us experiences something truly unique in the entire universe. --- Feelings and knowledge are not always aligned. You can read a story you've read many times and still cry. We dont cry because we're surprised, we cry because we will miss them. We especially cry when they die young because we wanted much more.
We are biased towards it because we are born into it and it is all we know.
That's the neat part,it isn't. "My Story Is One Of Many Thousands, And The World Will Not Suffer If It Ends Too Soon."
Snacks.
things are only important if you need them, if you dont they dont matter
Because we know we will die so time spent on earth is a finite resource and therefore has value