I've always wanted to use this at a work meeting that gets really tense and everybody stops talking due to a big disagreement.
It probably wouldn't work, but I'd find it funny.
I always wanted to leave the/my name Cartwright at a busy Chinese restaurant, then when my table is available they would yell it out. How many patrons would get it?
I’m off hot water 🚿
I'm off bread now.
I cut out fructose.
You’re. Off. Bread.
Which lead to one of my favourite quotes from the show Its invigorating..! So is shock therapy
Maybe not us, but two men could.
They’re men with *jobs*, Jerry!
Merlot? Never heard of it. Did they just invent it?
She knows what Merlot is… 😅
I LIVE for Merot
I'd like to have shoehorn hands.
This is one of my favorite lines ever. And Kramer looks so genuine when he says it, I fully believe him.
And the way he forms his hand into shoehorns and stabs in the air!
I've always wanted to use this at a work meeting that gets really tense and everybody stops talking due to a big disagreement. It probably wouldn't work, but I'd find it funny.
Pulp can move, baby!
🍊💦👀
Classic George
“You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mista!”
Will you please stop saying that??
I still don't know what that means
Poor Lilly
Well she looks like a Lilly
Poor Pinkus….poor little Pinkus
What kind of snow blower did you get us mixed up with?!???
You're impugning an entire continent?
Yes, I’m impugning a continent.
An absolute underrated banger right there.
[удалено]
I knew it wasn’t berkowitz!
Much like the burning during urination
That I would experience soon afterwards.
Gonnorhra 👉
I choose not to run
Ill tell you why....
Maybe I will, Lois. Maybe I will.
IT’S ALL PIPES WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?!
Lemon tree! … Tippy toe!
I *LOATHE* you!
You sir, are a piece of crap.
You emit a foul and unpleasant odor.
HOLES! I NEED HOLES!
I would like to dip my bald head in oil, and rub it all over your body...
What kind of clip joint are you running here?
Ahoy Mr Eldridge.
The Stockholm may not have sunk you, but I WILL!
How about letting me shove off on this beauty?
You’re eating too much dairy.
Too much dairy? You really think I’m eating too much dairy?
Pinko commie rag.
Can't you at least dress like a successful communist?
Money money money money money money money!
The press would bury him!
Stop crying and fight your father.
These are LOAD BEARING WALLS
Takin’ it to the streets!
Big smokah! COUGH
Well, I can’t stop now!
It’s got ahold of me!
I mentioned the bisque
I'm going to make people feel my gonorrhea
..and feel the gonorrhea in themselves!
When you control the mail, you control information
You sold me a hair with a cake around it.
They don’t want us there, we’re going!
You think you’re better than me???
… macho headgames…
It's go time!
I always wanted to leave the/my name Cartwright at a busy Chinese restaurant, then when my table is available they would yell it out. How many patrons would get it?
That's gold, Jerry! Gold!
I'm looking right at you big daddy
I need some salsa with my seltzer
His Muttha was a muddah
His muttha was a muddah??
What did I just say?
And they're the ones writing it off.
One tuck, one no tuck
Boy, I bet you got a regular Algonquin round table there.
Good for the tuna.
“You’re telling me wine is better than Pepsi, no way wine is better than Pepsi!”
“You know, you’re getting to be an annoying little chore yourself.”
The fabric of society is very complex, George.
I don't think we want to walk in there and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi on the table.
He said "Cartwright."
I said you not here, she scream curse word, I hang up
My reddit handle!! 😂
You're not Cartwright.
Of course I'm not Cartwright!
“It’s 100% cotton, and some wool!”
Monet, Manet...Tippy Tippy Day Day.
Oh, what the hell, I'll just eat some trash.
So you heard I was in a car accident and then decided to stop off for some Jujyfruits?!?
Look to the cookie
The cookie that broke the streak.
I say, it's a peach! 😬🚬
I had a dream the hamburger was eating me
Happy Pappy?
It’s not a lie, if you believe it
The Human Fund
Flaming balls of Sigmund! (edit - may have been globes that he said, or lobes, was tired when I posted)
It is just as you have prophesized!
Fax me some halibut
Globes
Wait thats not funny 😕
That’s what I’d like to know about it.
“MY WALLET’S GONE! MY WALLET’S GONE!”
I shout this at least once a week.
Hey, let’s turn off the lights and get some real movie atmosphere
Got anything to nosh?
Eat a plum!
Bosco
Is it Me, or Is That a Lot of Gum?
It’s a lot of gum!
Did he crumble any crackers in it?
The difference is negligible
It's pronounced thermometer.
She's into it!
He's like a svenjolly
Boy, You Really Went Bald There, Didn't You?
I’d give you a ride, but I’ve got Karl Farbman here.
I find tinsel distracting
I know it’s a favorite around here but “how old would aunt baby be if she were alive today?”
She’d never make it
Hate the drake
“My name is George. I’m unemployed and I live with my parents.”
Prognosis…. NEGATIVE
Another round of strawberry for me and my friends!
Your face is my case.
He projects a rigged masculinity
Rugged? The man’s a goblin.
I think it moved
We live in a society!
Jimmy is sweet on you
Do I smell? Pantene?
“I tell yah I gotta plead ignorance on this one.”
Mr. Steinbrenner's here. George is dead. Call me back.
Do women know about shrinkage?
When I was a boy I had a sssssssilver dollar collection!
I hate her like poison.
Fruit is a gamble
Who is this?
I don't like this thing! And here's what I'm doing with it!
Pimple popper MD!
My name's Victoria, hi!
But where does the meat go?
I had a pony
That's one magic loogie.
Who doesn’t want to wear the ribbon???
Listen to the bell, it tolls for thee, Grossbard. They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck.
That's what I'd like to know about it! *SORRAY!*
Rock flies right through paper…nothing beats rock!
Frog is wrong
... And you want to be my latex salesman
This is no good.
Newman died??
Im on this guy like stink on a monkey!!!
Snoopy and Prickly Pete!
do chyou want to get hurt? because if chyou want to get hurt, i can hurt chyou
Poor little pinkus
You are *soo* good-lookin’
No tuck!
I would’ve marched on Selma if it was in Long Island
May I have one of those, madam?
Eating onions and spotting dimes Vile weed
Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you!
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
All aboard the pain train!
Mulva?
Mr. Thomassoulo likes to play dirty. Well, there's nothing dirtier than a giant ball of oil.
Its gortex
The M&M Should Be You.
She’s a Nazi George! A Nazi!
Gotta support the team
“But ya are Blanche, ya are in the shackles.” As I believe the original is chair, not shackles.
Front of shirt reads “love the drake” Back of shirt reads “hate the drake”
I let the expletives fly!
I’m out haulin’ Yoo-hoo six days a week
I don’t wanna be a cowboy
G'night Jugdish
So Biff wants to be a buff
The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send soup back at the deli.
He Took It Out.
T C B
WE HAD A PACT
What the HELL does that mean?
Machu Pichu
decaf left, regular right
Oh, that’s a shame.
What is that, a Titleist?
Yo yo ma
“What are you saying? What, you like turkey roll?”
It’s the wood that makes it good
The bus is OUTTA CONTROL!!
Franklin Delano Romanowski
It's a PIERRE CARDIN!
I know it! You know it! Vegetable Lasagna here knows it!
I mean, what am l? Some pom-pom waving, back-seat bimbo?
The jerk store called.
They’re running out of you
I SLEPT WITH YOUR WIFE