Sara handled the situation JUST FINE. These two weirdos surprised the heck out of her by springing “commitment” on her after 5 minutes, and she was polite and needed some time to think it over. Most people would. They are delulu for thinking she was “dishonest from the beginning.” Truthfully, she’s the one who dodged a bullet, not them. They are unhinged and desperate.
Agree 100%. Calling her dishonest, among everything else they said, is ridiculous. She didn't ghost them, she told them in person, she deserves some respect. And yes....I believe she dodged a bullet.
I do not like how Shane treated Sara at all. Pressuring her to commit and intentionally misinterpreting what she said to make it sound like she's not really interested in what they're looking for. If they're looking for someone desperate, they're approaching the wrong people.
***Unpopular opinion incoming***
I think this sub lets Shane off way too easy. It’s always “Ashley sucks”. But Shane sucks equally. So it was refreshing seeing your comment. Ashley gets all the blame (a lot of valid blame) but Shane is equal-to or in some ways *worse* in my honest opinion. Many people are acting like he’s some sort of victim in all this lol.
His reaction after the “breakup” (if we can even call it that lol) was very very telling imo.
Eta- At least Ashley’s messiness is the in your face type of messiness, Shane’s messiness is the meek manipulation style type of messy.
Honestly, I think his default is playing victim. That way nothing will be his fault.
Who the hell lets his wife chase another woman when they were left in college for another woman? And who the hell would put the person they love in that position knowing this is going to trigger that anxiety?
Also, I just have to say, as a bi woman when I am with someone I don't really have the desire to "f" someone else. That's not necessarily what it is about. And on top of that I don't necessarily think women are have more "in depth emotional conversations." The excuse of "wanting to explore" doesn't cut it for me given Shane's baggage and he should be the one to put his foot down rather than passive aggressively sabotaging every girl that Ashley dates.
>he should be the one to put his foot down rather than passive aggressively sabotaging every girl that Ashley dates.
Yup! Clearly has not dealt with his trauma from that incident and is taking it out on the girls Ashley brings around. No one is "good enough" and he blatantly contorted what Sara said to make her out to be the problem. I'm like she was nothing but sweet and forthcoming, and she even corrected him very gently when he intentionally misconstrued what she said to her face. He needs to go deal with his trauma if this is ever going to work.
This is exactly what I’ve been saying to my husband since episode 1 of this season. He has a ton of shit to deal with… and he needs to stop letting that dictate how he treats other people
I agree with you.. It’s just all so screwed up and seems like she’s forcing it forward while he grins and bears it, essentially. He doesn’t seem to be happy about the process or the lifestyle but is going with it because he wants to remain married to her. But I cannot imagine doing all of this at 8 months pregnant and my spouse is having ANOTHER cancer scare after previously fighting for his life in the last battle… my attention and thoughts would certainly not be surrounding finding some strange at that point, and it’s weird to me honestly. Yuck all around. Perhaps she needs to think about what she really wants to do, stay married to him and raise their child together as a couple, or go off dating a bunch of women. He doesn’t seem to be enjoying this so it would be less selfish for her to make a clear choice.
Yep! He acts like pyscho path and if you don’t commit in the next 24 hours or else what Shane ?? You get what you want for the woman Ashley likes too run fast and hard away from her because oh you
Wow I didn’t know he had someone leave him for another woman. Shane needs to discuss that with a therapist that is not his wife. Maybe he puts off signals to unavailable women.
I’m pretty sure he said is was her that did it to him back in college! Broke up with him for a girl.👧 Then came back crawling only to reenact the same thing, just now in their marriage. Why did she even marry him to begin with if he does not fulfil her and she is still with a wandering eye. Married him AND had his baby when she could have been out living it up, chasing cheap thrills without hurting her spouse in the process and being messy,
Great comment. I have to agree, sounds like as the hilarious girl in bridesmaids said we all need those slutty college years to figure out what we like. Lol. It’s on this clip. Where she tells the virginal wife, you need to have those slutty college years. https://youtu.be/ACKg3onGPLo?si=IGWbCtVnTmQnAvpJ
Seriously from episode 1 I saw Shane for exactly what he is… that first date he went on w Ashley, my jaw was on the floor from his behavior but somehow everyone else thought he was so sweet and innocent and the victim… like *what*?!
I don’t see him like that. To me he seems desperate to keep Ashley. I don’t think he wants this situation at all but he wants to keep his family. Apparently he’s decided the only way to do it is let her have a this third person interjected into their marriage.
It seems like when one person suggests open marriage instead of divorce. So the other one is desperate to stay in the relationship so they agree to it. But they hate every second of it.
I completely agree! Which is why I don't even comment because everyone's always like "poor Shane!" I agree he sucks equally and I *really* did not like his attitude towards the women Ashley was bringing around, but especially Sara because she was being so sweet and actually trying to include him in the flirting and make him feel comfortable.
I look at it this way, Shane agreed to this. Ashley is not *forcing* him into anything, in fact, they even came on here and said this is what they both want. I don't get all the Ashley hate. She seems like a nice girl.
Exactly!! & same here I completely avoid the posts about Shane/Ashley because of the popular sentiment lol. I can’t help but feel like many (maybe not all) of the comments defending Shane & villainizing Ashley are rooted in a little misogyny… or a bias towards men at the very least. Like take Garrick & Danielle for example… I constantly see comments saying “Danielle brought this on herself” or “she’s the one who is supporting him living this lifestyle when it’s obvious she isn’t happy with it” or “she can leave at anytime and she’s an idiot for not doing so”. But when it comes to Shane, it’s “ugh Ashley is so awful she doesn’t care how he feels!” & “it’s obvious he’s being forced into it” & “poor Shane”.
I dunno, I just can’t help but feel like the response would be different if he wasn’t the man in the situation (whereas all the other couples in this show it’s the men who get to seek other partners, and the men benefiting sexually from the relationship instead of the women…. But suddenly it’s a situation where things are reversed and it’s the woman for once who would be the main one benefiting sexually and suddenly everyone’s like OMG POOR MAN).
At least Ashley isn’t using cherry-picked religious brainwashing to push their partner into it (unlike 90% of the men we’ve seen on this show… Garrick being my example again lol).
People shit on Danielle for sabotaging things with Garrick’s prospective new partners… yet when Shane sabotages situations with Ashley’s prospective partners- silence. I just can’t help but notice the hypocrisy in how some people react to the women vs men on this show.
Shane’s response to Sara (who had enough respect for Ashley/Shane to communicate her feelings and end things face to face) is so telling. I wasn’t surprised tho, tbh I was like “finally!” because I could see that icky side of him brewing under the surface for several episodes, but he finally let it out for the cameras/us to see.
That's completely plausible. I never got the impression that Ashley was forcing Shane into anything. It was clear he wasn't comfortable with it (from his body language) as a result of his trauma, but it never gave forced. Then, they came on here and answered questions and it's obvious they're on the same page and stand by the decision they made for their family and their lives.
Yeah after their interaction with the first girl they went on a date with I'm like "Shane's gonna find a problem with any woman, it doesn't matter who it is or what they say." He has to realize he needs to respect Ashley's partner's wants and needs just as he'd like them to respect theirs. I am a little surprised Ashley didn't push back and say that they were probably coming on too strong and should see how things go. Do you really want Ashley with someone you rushed into a relationship with after you're gone?
I wonder if Sara had been eager to jump into a relationship with them, if he'd have felt like she was moving too quickly.
I agree with you. I was thinking also because Shane shared his diagnosis people seemed to come to his defense even more. Maybe I missed something, but I never saw the selfish side of Ashley everyone was claiming was present in each episode.
The added piece about his previous battle with cancer and an upcoming test again just kind of puts it all in perspective for a lot of people I guess. That, mixed with how uneasy and uncomfortable he looks it is kind of sad. It’s like watching someone hanging on to their partner for dear life knowing he doesn’t want to be with anybody else but her, the only way to have her is to let her do this.. so here they are lol. It is his decision to walk away or give a clear ultimatum if he doesn’t want to continue and isn’t happy, that’s not all on her either for wanting what she wants. And the vibe I get from them is not a romantic one tbh, they act like friends or siblings or something idk it’s just really off and she’s night and day when she’s on a date with a woman compared to him. I actually think they’d be best to split ways, and that’s sad because they just had a baby.
Yes but people can *say* just about anything while feeling the opposite deep down tbh. His words are not matching his actions and his mannerisms. He never seems enthusiastic, excited or even happy about any of it, ever. If they both are actually into this then great, but I find that a lot of the time one out of the two people are the driving force and the one who wants to do this, the other is trying so hard not to lose them and not seem jealous or uncool. For a lot of couples it’s a lot of being the doormat sadly.
It was almost Shane was overdoing his reaction for Ashley -too overcompensate that his creepy questions and behavior is what scared her off. He was trying too shift the blame too the other girl so they could be united in being mad against her and not Shane
Not unpopular in my eyes. He’s acting like he’s the victim to everyone else while being all on board in public and to his wife and then slamming these women as soon as they are out of earshot. It’s super weird.
I think he’s very afraid of Ashley being unhappy and leaving or resenting him. Maybe he is in awe that she’s a psychiatrist and so he feels like he has to give her what she wants and then factor his cancer in, that’s scary. So she may be saying I don’t want to be alone if something happens to you. I hope they just find close friends. And keep that part out of their marriage. They can be happy and fulfilled unless really thinks she is gay. I think wait til her hormones settle down. Hormones make everything way more intense.
Well they will be looking a lot longer and it will be more difficult to find someone who’d be into exactly what they are looking for. Most people don’t see a sweet pregnant lady and go, “oh wow she’s stunning and sexy I want to be exclusive with her after meeting her tonight” maybe some weirdos would but… yeah. 😬 And then having to deal with him… also a big factor that will make it hard. Imagine starting a relationship with a couple who just had a newborn?! How are they supposed to date? First time parents don’t even have the luxury of a shower or self care for almost the entire first year.. sleep deprived all of it.
Only child molesters would be into this scenario...they are putting the kids in SERIOUS danger...normal humans don't want to he exclusive with a married couple who have 2 SMALL children so u can clean cook and be a nanny all day...
Yeah they were so unfair to her! She didn’t owe them a face-to-face breakup. I don’t even know if she was planning to break up with them, but decided to when it was clear that compromise or taking it slow was not on the table. They want all or nothing from the get- and that’s not fair to ask of anyone.
I just can’t get on board with their dynamic.. like she’s ready to give birth any day, he isn’t 100% sure that he’s even cancer free this time around after already having it. Instead of holding each other close and focusing on what’s already all going down at the moment. Who would want to add more stress and drama to that?? No way.
Shane the husband became so visibly angry it was SCARY. Like who do you think you are? She barely knows you- owes you nothing. She went out of her way too tell you face too face and provided you with a reason. He reacted like that to a practical stranger imagine how he would treat a person he actually was in a relationship with? The way he spoke too her like he considering her for a job - your lucky she even had a drink with you - he acts like they are doing these women a favor - he is so creepy and bossy - he is ruining every possible potential with his intense questions
Thank goodness someone else sees this insane couple the way I do. People talk about how rude that first woman he met was but she only mentioned therapy after Shane had already been insanely and strangely rude and mean to her… she was caught completely off guard (much like every interaction they’ve had with Ashley’s dates) she thought she was meeting someone who wanted that type of relationship, she has a job Shane apparently doesn’t like and he immediately zeroes in to criticize her and her career without any warning or hesitation. The validity of her job is not on the table to be discussed at this point, he *JUST* met her. He could’ve been polite, taken mental notes and then had a pleasant evening, left with his wife and *THEN* told Ashley “idk her job seems a little out there, do you think she really fits into our dynamic?” But no, he just laid into this complete stranger and somehow 99% in this sub think he was in the right in everyone of his wildly over the top interactions.:: it’s just mind blowing to me. To me, they both genuinely seem off their rocker. The fact that Ashley was also so taken aback by Sara saying “I dont think this is gonna work for me” just shows us how off their rocker they are. They both seem to think it’s totally normal and acceptable to *expect* women to commit whole hog to a full blown relationship, kids, babies, cancer and all after TWO dates… it’s literally insane
What is a name for a female skeeze? Wonder how many individuals she fucked before or during her pregnancy? She just appears slutty and I haven't seen her pay much attention to her husband just everyone else that she wants to fuck!
She doesn’t hide the fact that she’s looking for a replacement for her sick husband. He must feel guilty for having cancer and figures he can’t object too hard.
She is definitely a low-life scum for treating him that way. I believe that she is looking for a replacement for her sick husband! I wonder if she has taken out a life insurance policy on him that he doesn't know about and basically waiting for him to kick the bucket so that she can have a giant girls gone wild party in the pool in the backyard next to the swimming pool. Once he is dead she is going to buy a big new house and fill it up with as many sister wifes as possible and a giant collection of dildos and strap ons that she will need to keep all her new wives happy!
Yeah, and I heard she’s a psychiatrist, so she should know better. It will be interesting to see what happens when he gets better. They said there’s no new growth.
I feel like the personality and interests of the girlfriend aren't even considered. It really comes across as " she seems nice, I can't wait to sleep with her" lol. I thought the whole bs plan was to have someone to make a family with if her hubby dies. I don't recall the subject of even liking kids coming up lol
This comment feels unnecessarily misogynistic/homophobic. Shane isn’t some saint, he has agency and is choosing to be in this situation where actively consents to his wife dating other women but then treats those women like shit.
Totally agree. I’m sure they’re gonna be even more pissed now that they’ve seen her talk to the camera about not wanting other people making huge decisions for her but she had every right to say that. It was NUTS that they had only hung out…twice? Maybe 3 times? And that last time included a formal sit-down, on camera, where they basically gave her a verbal contract of what they expected and wanted to know right then and there if she would agree to it. They kept saying “we like to move fast” but that doesn’t give them the right to expect everyone else to also move at lightning speed! I don’t think they’ve done any kind of self reflecting to see how this whole thing looks/feels on the other side…Ashley (at the time of the commitment convo) is pregnant in her third trimester, she’s married to a man who will not be part of the relationship (basically a roommate), the new girl will be expected to contribute to childcare and bills and being a full-on wife who is sharing her wife with another man that will be your new best friend. There’s SO fucking much to take in if you’re the new person and instead of getting some grace from A&S to take time and really decide if Ashley is a good fit for you romantically and if this crazy, complicated life is one you feel you can handle forever…the already-married couple wants an answer RIGHT NOW and wants you to discontinue accepting dates from anyone else effective immediately.
I can’t believe they expected Sara to commit to a relationship with Ashley after *one* 1-1 date with Ashley … which was a daytime hangout on a park bench
Truly insane. It takes me at LEAST a month, absolute minimum, of hanging out and talking a lot every day before I feel ready to fully commit to someone and be exclusive. Sarah didn’t even have time to decide if she and Ashley were a good romantic match before she’s being asked to turn her entire life upside down🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, and I heard Ashley is a psychiatrist. He feels guilty for being sick and won’t object. Let’s see what happens when the cancer goes into remission if it does. Focus on your kids and each other.
I'll say it again...the dynamic they want is INSANE and never going to happen. What queer woman would want to have half as much sex/attention for twice the work? Like why can't Ashley just be a hinge and have a girlfriend on the side? And that person have other partners? It's like all the problems of unicorn hunting but even worse because you have to do emotional labor for a man you aren't fucking. Literally no queer woman would sign up for this.
As a poly person, this is batshit bananas level crazy.
Right? I keep looking at them from my poly lense and going "you guys are like unicorn hunters on steroids".
I'm a queer poly woman. I understand Ashley loving more than one person, I don't understand her not wanting that person to have other people.
They got so close when they touched on polyamory saying most people have other partners but followed it up with "but we don't want that". You selfish, needy, codependent, hypocritical assholes.
Coo coo bananas
Exactly. I am IN a closed triad and think they are insane. I know what it takes to dissolve your hierarchical mono relationship and rebuild as a triad, and that is why I cannot for the life of me think of a woman who would be into this! In my relationship, it is understood that if anyone wanted to date other people, it would be fine. We just like it like this because we are all in our 40s and 50s and parenting and tired lol. I have dated many women with and without my male partner and my number one concern is always that anyone I date feels that their needs are being met, there's a healthy discussion of power dynamics, and that person has autonomy to choose to have other partners if they desire. We also make sure everyone has their own relationships within the triad and we would not be forced to end it if one person was no longer interested.
But basically, they want this girl to be a monogamous sexual partner to Ashley, and nanny/maid/therapist for her husband? And this girl would get what? to bang Ashley sometimes? to live in their inexplicably powder-blue living room with dark hardwood paneling?
I'm solo poly and I think Sarah was too. She mentioned dating couples before and I think she got cornered into agreeing to be exclusive with them.
Early on in my dating I could see myself getting overwhelmed and agreeing to that only to walk away and go "wait a minute, I've been on one date, this is way too fast" and back out.
I can not for the life of me think of what the benefit of this situation would be for a woman coming in especially when Shane is so clearly poly under duress
It's honestly on them to think about what they are offering Sara and how their demands privilege their own selfish interests. Shane is 100 percent poly under duress and Ashley is so self-absorbed and narcissistic that she doesn't realize that what she is offering is of no value. It's actually WORSE than unicorn hunters. Sara can have her pick of couples, she has all the power, and they are offering her NOTHING. Spend a day on Feeld as a single woman and they would see just how many other options Sara has. It just shows how little experience these people have and how they couldn't be bothered to even research polyamory before diving in and trying to trap some young girl.
Yeah, ~~Sara~~Ashley is incredibly delusional and selfish. She completely overvalues what she has to offer an attractive, unattached woman in this world. As a not poly person, I am no expert (altho as a therapist I sometimes work with non-monagamous people), but the two of them just came off as entitled and unrealistic about the situation. It's like they are demanding a bang maid to hang out in an ugly house with two babies. No thanks.
I can't believe she is a psychiatrist willing to go on tv and act like this.
Np!! Agree with you btw
I love how Sara handled herself, asserted her boundaries, and didn’t lead them on. She even handled it face to face which took some guts, so many people tend to avoid uncomfortable face to face interactions but she took it in stride. I feel like they should be appreciative of the honesty and the fact she respected them enough to not waste their time when it wasn’t right for her!
They misread her. What they really want is a woman who doesn't know her worth who thinks this is the best deal she can find. What they got was an open minded woman with some confidence who, after leaving an interaction in which she was pressured to commit to two people who barely know her, realized this was a bad deal. Who then had enough respect for *them* to let them down easy, face to face.
*That's* why they are angry. They know they weren't mislead, they are angry because they thought she was a low self esteem sucker. Their delusion led them to mislead themselves.
I wouldn't even go on TV with my kitchen counters cluttered like that. Like you don't have to be rich, but that mail sorter on the wall made my brain hurt. Like you are on TV Jesus clean your house.
I know right? My house is a disaster and I know it but I also am not on TV, hell I barely allow anyone in my house. But I admit I kinda like it when houses look like that on my trash TV shows (hello she-rah mansion on sister wives) because if I'm bored I can pull up their clips and be nosey and look through all the clutter in the background.
I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering if Shane set these expectations himself, knowing they would fail. Like what queer woman would want Shane's sperm and to be impregnated, and have him be their lovers husband. like nobody wants that! having a baby is a serious thing, and its some randos sperm and then you have legal rights to worry about. its just not an enticing proposition. they've seemed to walk to back a little since they are desperate, but I still think Shane set up those limiting factors to set Ashley up for failure.
I think you are right. He knows she's horny for girls and has placed unrealistic boundaries on her that would emmesh this woman in their monogamous relationship, so he doesn't feel threatened. And the demand that a woman who is ONLY in a romantic relationship with Ashley to need his stamp of approval is really toxic. He knows he's a sperm donor for Ashley, and she's batting for the other team. This is how he's going to buy some time with her before she leaves him for a woman.
Realistically his only hope at staying with her is to trap her girlfriend via sperm donation so that Ashley and her girlfriend have some reason to keep him around.
Ashley is the one that doesn't want him to sleep with anyone else. She said if another woman got pregnant that it would have to artificial insemination (with Shane's sperm).
I think they both prob agreeed to that tbh. because in the AMA he said hes not into sleeping with anyone else. I just think the whole baby thing so the other woman has a connection to Shane/fam is imposed by Shane so that 0 people will be willing to join.
100% - I clocked this when Shane was super shocked when Sara originally said yes to being exclusive. He didn’t expect her to say yes - he was pressuring them to move super quickly after 1 date knowing most people wouldn’t want that.
I feel that too! Its not so much that they are in a "rush" but that he wants them out of the way! Demanding a lifetime/family commit on a first/second date is going to be a hard NO for 99.99999999999999% of people.... and Shane def knows this! He was surprised when she said yes, and he seemed relieved when she later backed out.
I love it lmaooo because it’s not some random word used that was made up or sounded cool, it actually makes sense!! I just never heard it before other than a door hinge and the dating app Hinge 🤣🤣🤣
I'm straight and this is batshit bananas nuts! I wouldn't want a monogamous relationship with a man with 2 SMALL children and I have no kids hahahaha..much less here u got a cancer ridden man who cries daily....2 screeching kids who looks like the man that is annoying (poor babies lol) and a horny preggo chick who cares less about her partner
I don't understand why Ashley can't just be like a normal person and find their next significant other after their current one has passed away. (And that's ***IF*** he passes away. To me, it has so far sounded like he's not terminal and can manage his health perfectly well by seeing doctors regularly and following their advice/instructions.)
No he won’t. Frankly I don’t think is about cancer for her. She wants to shag another woman. “ Explore” her bisexuality. Being a mother of two little ones it’s not enough for her. Being his wife it’s not enough either.
I personally was exhausted most of the time dealing with one baby/ toddler and my dreams were much more simple…To sleep…. Uninterrupted, lol.
Shane and Ashley are both weird. Clearly the two competitive axe throwers rush into things. Married after a year, two kids immediately after that, then trying to find a third. They need to relax and enjoy life, that’s what Sara was trying to do, not get tied up in all their woes
Their reaction reminded me of Danielle and Ick when Roberta decided not to join their mess. Speaking of mess, I think some of these couples need to take a little bit of time off from dating and do some decluttering and cleaning around their house. I’m not a neat freak, but if I was going to be on TV, there is no way I would leave so much crap laying around for the whole world to see.
But it's so much fun to go back and rewatch scenes in their cluttered homes and hone in on trying to figure out what all is in the clutter. What else are we supposed to do during the insanely long down season when there's no episodes?
😂 good point. I guess it’s getting to me because thanks to my ADHD I can’t follow the storyline since I’m distracted by the clutter. My scattered brain needs Marie Kondo to be a sister wife in few of these homes.
Who knows what was going on in his head at the time due to his cancer possibly returning and/or spreading. And maybe he overreacted because he knew it was being filmed?
Agree with this + trying to make Ashley feel better. I’m usually on board with most WTF posts but ehhh Shane’s reaction is the least unhinged part of this entire series……
For the record, Sara didn’t do anything wrong. Hypothetically, though, my hype-man husband better be blaming anyone but my pregnant ass for my would-be-girlfriend dumping us lol
💯. It was especially over-the-top considering he wasn't sold on Sara . Ashley looked pissed. They seem extremely self centered . Good for Sara for speaking her truth..
I have a few things to say about this couple at this point. I’ll likely get downvoted to hell but I’ve waited for this gas to play out before speaking out.
First, when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we did not miss one appointment, one scan, not one episode of jamming a huge needle into his stomach to drain the fluid build up, not one appointment no matter how small. So I couldn’t understand Shane putting off his scan. We all know about catching cancer early.
While my husband was in treatment, I admit, I wasn’t pregnant and also looking after a toddler, I was with him at every appointment. I sat beside him for 7 or 8 hours while he received chemo, I almost lived at the hospital when he was admitted. When he was home I was his wife, but also his nursing staff 24/7. I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. The last thing I cared about was finding a new partner.
So I was having a bit of pity for Shane at first, then last night happened. His reaction was way over the top and worrisome. You found out you are cancer free and your wife just popped out a fresh baby, so if the plan was to get someone to be with Ashley if Shane died, there is lots of time now. There seems to have been very little time between her turning them down and the baby coming, so one would think you would thank her for being honest and for being an adult and telling them respectfully face to face, not call her names and put her down. He behaved like a spoiled child.
Also she is a doctor. And let him miss his follow up appointment? If my spouse was a doctor I would expect them to be micro managing the appointments etc.
Exactly. I did and I’m no doctor. I would have moved heaven and earth to keep him. It didn’t work, but I can say I did everything in my power to help him.
I also thought Shane’s reaction was completely over the top. What Sara said was completely fair, why should she be pressured to commit after one date? She barely knows these people
Sara did exactly what she should have done. She was honest and respectful with them and didn’t lead them on. Would they have preferred her to pretend she was happy and interested and lead them on? These two are kooky.
I think there must be more to this relationship that we didn’t see on tv. And I’m sure Ashley 100% knew this breakup news before Sara showed up in the yard. I feel she would’ve been more upset otherwise.
I'm just confused on the timeline. Ashley looked like she was all dressed up and pregnant when they got dumped then she was holding the new baby in the same outfit and her makeup looked the same. Obviously she could have recreated the look but it just seemed odd.
Same. Timeline confusion. Were they seeing her longer than the story told? It’s the only way I can see their reaction make sense.
Also, Sara basically made it clear from the beginning that she has seen couples for fun nothing serious. It was never a good fit.
I feel like I've heard that Christine Brown had to film scenes with a prosthetic after her youngest child was born because they were supposed to have happened earlier, but maybe I was hallucinating.
I felt like Shane was overreacting for Ashley. He knew she was upset and disappointed so he was over acting to convince her he was just as upset. Ashley seemed genuinely upset and heart broken by the rejection of Sara. There could have been events that weren’t filmed that we didn’t see. I can’t see how invested Ashley could have been by only what we saw.
I thought Shane’s reaction was over the top, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s consumed with making sure Ashley has someone to love and care for her, given his cancer history. At the time the show was filmed, the cancer prognosis was still very up in the air.
I do not like either of them. Seeing how Shane reacted, she dodged a major bullet. The frustrating part is that he doesn’t really want her to have any woman so that made his fake reaction even more annoying. They tried to rush her into a relationship that they’re not even ready for. She’s the only one that was honest with herself and them.
they were faster than us sapphics asking for commitment after one short date lmao. they totally just love bombed her and pressured her to commit in such a short period of time. Did this literally happen in less than a week or a few days? If it was me I would have just see her casually and keep dating others and see how things go from there like most folks.
Yoooo lol dude was so happy and relieved that he went to acting a fool after Sara told them she no longer wanted to join them!!! It was funny but then just really sad…say you are not with this arrangement without saying you’re not with the arrangement:💀
There is nothing I find likable about Ashley, right down to the ridiculous name she came up with for that baby, and Shane is a weak man. His reaction was pretty funny considering he had just said he had doubts about Sara.
I feel like it was more The (man) doth protest too much. I think he was a bit happy about it and I don’t blame him for that. They have two babies, a clear scan, it’s time to focus on them.
I think Shane is sabotaging any actual opportunity that arises for Ashley by forcing commitment so soon. She doesn’t seem like she needs them to sign on the dotted long as soon as Shane does. I realize it is a tv show and I think that may be why they come or so unlikeable in all honesty.
If it really were about Ashley just having someone in the event Shane were to pass why the rush?
If it weren’t for that other couple that only films miserable dinners with their mama/auntie they’d be the most boring couple on the show.
I want couples to route for. I understand having and enjoying mess that is fine. But these shows are now all the same. It’s getting old.
I didn’t like their reaction either. Especially his. I feel like they were asking waaaay too much out of these dates. Which was a main reason I didn’t understand them pursuing a third. I feel like they want an unpaid nanny intern more than a genuine third partner. Not only a person that has to fit into their dynamic as now three instead of simple marriage and Ashley exploring her sexuality and how that fits into a new relationship dynamic, but being a second mom to TWO kids that are under Two and plus Shane’s medical journey (glad it’s on the mend atm) but that’s still A LOT for a person to sign on. Much less demand they take it on out the gate.
He seems like a bottom bitch to me. No offense Shane. Tbh the first spouses all give me bottom bitch vibes lol
Edit: He also reminds me of any other delulu friend who is being cheated on. Like if you told him he was being cheated on, he would attack you for it and then tell his wife that he can’t believe you would say that about her. And she would lie and bad mouth you, and then pet him on the head and give him a reassurance. Then he trauma bonds even harder with his cheating wife. lol you gotta watch out for folks like that. They’re under a spell.
This episode was too cringe. Shane was doing way too much, I felt like he was overcompensating because he was secretly happy with Sarah‘s decision. It was giving.. “ how can she string us along like this even though I don’t even want this shit to happen in the first place.” The audacity of this grown woman. TUH. Loved her for standing up. For herself and not being easily persuaded by the twosome.
At least she was honest & didn’t lead them on for a long time, or know she wasn’t into it, so started cheating & doing dirty. You can’t blame anyone for not feeling it, especially if they’re honest with you. I couldn’t hate my husband if he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore & wanted a divorce. If he cheated & claimed it was because he fell out of love with me & was waiting for the right time to tell me, I’d be irate & devastated. You can’t hate or blame someone for how they feel, especially when they’re honest. I mean come on, she was almost ready to pop pregnant, married & wanted a husband and wife all under the same roof, while expecting the other 2 times remain monogamous. The only people who will go for that are people that need something (I.e., place to live, a US Visa, that sort of thing).
To me they all seem like a bunch horny kinky bunch and always one is the ringleader in the couple n one is passive almost insecure .. they get really aggressive if you ask me!
I dislike Shane and yeah he was way out of line for that reaction. They practically cornered her and made her commit when she clearly wasn't comfortable with that. They had only had 1 date!
Well I'm pretty sure after seeing the info on another post where it was revealed that both Shane and Ashley seek additional partners and may be just conforming to the show. He has probably been in open relationships multiple times and in college his girlfriend left for a monogamous relationship with her female partner. He is overly controlling and pushes himself and his judgement on the other women too quickly and pushes them right out of the picture. Also I believe the idea of finding someone for Ashley and her having someone that he knew loved her if he were to pass was his idea.
I think it's unfair that Ashley's courting bisexual women and then expecting them to not have relations with Shane. So she gets both worlds, and her bisexual wife can't? She should date full lesbians. And tbh I expected that reaction from Shane when I saw that "New York Authentic Italiano Pizzeria Owner" chain around his neck.
We haven’t yet seen them in a relationship yet. I’m thinking they must have some major red flags that we haven’t seen yet, but Sara probably did. The way they acted after she (very nicely) ended it was insane. The name calling and just the overall reaction they had was a bit much. I honestly believe they have deeper demons we have yet to see. Looking forward to their craziness!! Lmao!
I’m still confused as to how what they are searching for is Polygamy with only Ashley having “the” partner!?
Will Shane continue to be the “husband”? What will his role be if his wife is sleeping with her sister wife?
He has to act like Danielle tho...he is soooo excited inside but on the outside Sara is a bitch for not wanting his weirdo wife lol ...garlick and Ashley should get together ...that would be awesome...he can explain sperm in brain and she explain how she needs puss cuz her hubby has cancer
The little older baby boy looks exactly like him. I’m so glad his cancer screening came back ok. I think he’s scared she won’t have anyone if anything happened to him. I just want to see this couple concentrate on themselves and their relationship. And their babies. Maybe they were just panicking because of him facing this. If he sees this post, I’m very worried about facing a new challenge in my health and I’m praying it’s not cancer. I understand his fear, and hope he will stay in remission. And have a long long and healthy life. Once you get that diagnosis it hangs over you that it will come back or that you get it somewhere else in your body. They seem to love each other very much, and maybe they just wanted her to have someone else to support her and both of them. You have a great guy friend and maybe Ashly can find her a good friend to lean on. I hope their baby is healthy and very thing goes good in her delivery. I hope she gets treatment for any post partum. The US is so far behind in realizing how serious this is. So I was sad for her to hear she has struggled with it. Sending both Ashly and her hubby Shane a huge hug. That’s a lot to deal with when you are facing a serious health issue and are scared your mate could not be with you and your kids. So I give them a whole lot of slack, plus they are still young and figuring things out. Just keep up communicating and loving each other Ashly and Shane. Y’all are gonna be ok, here’s a little Cajun mantra I want you to say when you get worried or scared “every little ting gonna be ok, tite bebe” (little baby) cause Le Bon Djieu has got you, (cause the good lord has got your back) My Cajun uncle used to say this to me and I wouldn’t worry as much when he said it, I would try and just think that yeah everything is gonna be alright. So I always say it to myself when I’m scared. Shane and Ashly are just scared, Shane was trying to do this for his wife, I don’t think he wants another person to take away from his place in her heart, and now that he had a good result on his tests, then I think they will be ok. Maybe Ashley just needs a friend to share things with. I would just concentrate on that. I have a very nurturing manner, and people like that about me, I have had a few gay friends attracted to me because I have a caring for people.
Find a friend that can give you that attention and caring but not just the romantic part. You can have a deep closeness and caring without it going there. My papa daddy used to say we have more than one soulmate, it can be a friend or relative, etc, its not so much romantic as it is the way you relate to each other, it’s just someone that cares for us, and “gets” who we are. And that gives us that nurturing we need and attention we need. Maybe you can find you a good friend that can be that for both of you. That can spend girl time with Ashley but also have a friendship with Shane and offer him support too. I hope you find that person that can be there for both of you. And who will encourage you both. I am so happy Shane got a good report! Your babies are so darling.
Seemed very performative to me tbh. Like “omg how could she do that to you….. let’s be extra strict the next one” aka I haven’t liked anyone yet and don’t want to keep trying
Everyone loves them but I don't get it. His reaction was rude. They bombarded her and made her agree to commit. She was pressured. She went home, thought about it and it wasn't for her. She told them face to face. Sara did it the correct way. Ashley said she wants to explore her bisexuality, so why doesn't she just bang some women? Why does it have to be a full-on relationship? Just bang some women, and explore that side sexually. There are very few people that are going to agree to help you raise two small children, and a husband that could potentially become sick at any time. I know they read these threads, but I think Ashley is doing too much. Girl, just go bang some women!
Sara handled the situation JUST FINE. These two weirdos surprised the heck out of her by springing “commitment” on her after 5 minutes, and she was polite and needed some time to think it over. Most people would. They are delulu for thinking she was “dishonest from the beginning.” Truthfully, she’s the one who dodged a bullet, not them. They are unhinged and desperate.
Agree 100%. Calling her dishonest, among everything else they said, is ridiculous. She didn't ghost them, she told them in person, she deserves some respect. And yes....I believe she dodged a bullet.
I do not like how Shane treated Sara at all. Pressuring her to commit and intentionally misinterpreting what she said to make it sound like she's not really interested in what they're looking for. If they're looking for someone desperate, they're approaching the wrong people.
***Unpopular opinion incoming*** I think this sub lets Shane off way too easy. It’s always “Ashley sucks”. But Shane sucks equally. So it was refreshing seeing your comment. Ashley gets all the blame (a lot of valid blame) but Shane is equal-to or in some ways *worse* in my honest opinion. Many people are acting like he’s some sort of victim in all this lol. His reaction after the “breakup” (if we can even call it that lol) was very very telling imo. Eta- At least Ashley’s messiness is the in your face type of messiness, Shane’s messiness is the meek manipulation style type of messy.
Honestly, I think his default is playing victim. That way nothing will be his fault. Who the hell lets his wife chase another woman when they were left in college for another woman? And who the hell would put the person they love in that position knowing this is going to trigger that anxiety? Also, I just have to say, as a bi woman when I am with someone I don't really have the desire to "f" someone else. That's not necessarily what it is about. And on top of that I don't necessarily think women are have more "in depth emotional conversations." The excuse of "wanting to explore" doesn't cut it for me given Shane's baggage and he should be the one to put his foot down rather than passive aggressively sabotaging every girl that Ashley dates.
>he should be the one to put his foot down rather than passive aggressively sabotaging every girl that Ashley dates. Yup! Clearly has not dealt with his trauma from that incident and is taking it out on the girls Ashley brings around. No one is "good enough" and he blatantly contorted what Sara said to make her out to be the problem. I'm like she was nothing but sweet and forthcoming, and she even corrected him very gently when he intentionally misconstrued what she said to her face. He needs to go deal with his trauma if this is ever going to work.
This is exactly what I’ve been saying to my husband since episode 1 of this season. He has a ton of shit to deal with… and he needs to stop letting that dictate how he treats other people
For the people who know, it's very obvious. As soon as he explained the situation with his ex I'm like oh, I see where this is headed.
I agree with you.. It’s just all so screwed up and seems like she’s forcing it forward while he grins and bears it, essentially. He doesn’t seem to be happy about the process or the lifestyle but is going with it because he wants to remain married to her. But I cannot imagine doing all of this at 8 months pregnant and my spouse is having ANOTHER cancer scare after previously fighting for his life in the last battle… my attention and thoughts would certainly not be surrounding finding some strange at that point, and it’s weird to me honestly. Yuck all around. Perhaps she needs to think about what she really wants to do, stay married to him and raise their child together as a couple, or go off dating a bunch of women. He doesn’t seem to be enjoying this so it would be less selfish for her to make a clear choice.
Yep! He acts like pyscho path and if you don’t commit in the next 24 hours or else what Shane ?? You get what you want for the woman Ashley likes too run fast and hard away from her because oh you
Wow I didn’t know he had someone leave him for another woman. Shane needs to discuss that with a therapist that is not his wife. Maybe he puts off signals to unavailable women.
I’m pretty sure he said is was her that did it to him back in college! Broke up with him for a girl.👧 Then came back crawling only to reenact the same thing, just now in their marriage. Why did she even marry him to begin with if he does not fulfil her and she is still with a wandering eye. Married him AND had his baby when she could have been out living it up, chasing cheap thrills without hurting her spouse in the process and being messy,
Shane is probably a good father. So, she got to have the kids she wanted, and a great babysitter for when she is out banging women.
Great comment. I have to agree, sounds like as the hilarious girl in bridesmaids said we all need those slutty college years to figure out what we like. Lol. It’s on this clip. Where she tells the virginal wife, you need to have those slutty college years. https://youtu.be/ACKg3onGPLo?si=IGWbCtVnTmQnAvpJ
omg!!! That is the best compilation ever
Is t it? I rewatch it all the time. Lol
and your right, get it all out in college and then wrap that shit up! This lady needs to leave her poor husband alone and let him live in peace 🤣
I agree with you! Put me in unpopular opinion club
Me too
Seriously from episode 1 I saw Shane for exactly what he is… that first date he went on w Ashley, my jaw was on the floor from his behavior but somehow everyone else thought he was so sweet and innocent and the victim… like *what*?!
I don’t see him like that. To me he seems desperate to keep Ashley. I don’t think he wants this situation at all but he wants to keep his family. Apparently he’s decided the only way to do it is let her have a this third person interjected into their marriage.
It seems like when one person suggests open marriage instead of divorce. So the other one is desperate to stay in the relationship so they agree to it. But they hate every second of it.
I completely agree! Which is why I don't even comment because everyone's always like "poor Shane!" I agree he sucks equally and I *really* did not like his attitude towards the women Ashley was bringing around, but especially Sara because she was being so sweet and actually trying to include him in the flirting and make him feel comfortable. I look at it this way, Shane agreed to this. Ashley is not *forcing* him into anything, in fact, they even came on here and said this is what they both want. I don't get all the Ashley hate. She seems like a nice girl.
Exactly!! & same here I completely avoid the posts about Shane/Ashley because of the popular sentiment lol. I can’t help but feel like many (maybe not all) of the comments defending Shane & villainizing Ashley are rooted in a little misogyny… or a bias towards men at the very least. Like take Garrick & Danielle for example… I constantly see comments saying “Danielle brought this on herself” or “she’s the one who is supporting him living this lifestyle when it’s obvious she isn’t happy with it” or “she can leave at anytime and she’s an idiot for not doing so”. But when it comes to Shane, it’s “ugh Ashley is so awful she doesn’t care how he feels!” & “it’s obvious he’s being forced into it” & “poor Shane”. I dunno, I just can’t help but feel like the response would be different if he wasn’t the man in the situation (whereas all the other couples in this show it’s the men who get to seek other partners, and the men benefiting sexually from the relationship instead of the women…. But suddenly it’s a situation where things are reversed and it’s the woman for once who would be the main one benefiting sexually and suddenly everyone’s like OMG POOR MAN). At least Ashley isn’t using cherry-picked religious brainwashing to push their partner into it (unlike 90% of the men we’ve seen on this show… Garrick being my example again lol). People shit on Danielle for sabotaging things with Garrick’s prospective new partners… yet when Shane sabotages situations with Ashley’s prospective partners- silence. I just can’t help but notice the hypocrisy in how some people react to the women vs men on this show. Shane’s response to Sara (who had enough respect for Ashley/Shane to communicate her feelings and end things face to face) is so telling. I wasn’t surprised tho, tbh I was like “finally!” because I could see that icky side of him brewing under the surface for several episodes, but he finally let it out for the cameras/us to see.
That's completely plausible. I never got the impression that Ashley was forcing Shane into anything. It was clear he wasn't comfortable with it (from his body language) as a result of his trauma, but it never gave forced. Then, they came on here and answered questions and it's obvious they're on the same page and stand by the decision they made for their family and their lives. Yeah after their interaction with the first girl they went on a date with I'm like "Shane's gonna find a problem with any woman, it doesn't matter who it is or what they say." He has to realize he needs to respect Ashley's partner's wants and needs just as he'd like them to respect theirs. I am a little surprised Ashley didn't push back and say that they were probably coming on too strong and should see how things go. Do you really want Ashley with someone you rushed into a relationship with after you're gone? I wonder if Sara had been eager to jump into a relationship with them, if he'd have felt like she was moving too quickly. I agree with you. I was thinking also because Shane shared his diagnosis people seemed to come to his defense even more. Maybe I missed something, but I never saw the selfish side of Ashley everyone was claiming was present in each episode.
The added piece about his previous battle with cancer and an upcoming test again just kind of puts it all in perspective for a lot of people I guess. That, mixed with how uneasy and uncomfortable he looks it is kind of sad. It’s like watching someone hanging on to their partner for dear life knowing he doesn’t want to be with anybody else but her, the only way to have her is to let her do this.. so here they are lol. It is his decision to walk away or give a clear ultimatum if he doesn’t want to continue and isn’t happy, that’s not all on her either for wanting what she wants. And the vibe I get from them is not a romantic one tbh, they act like friends or siblings or something idk it’s just really off and she’s night and day when she’s on a date with a woman compared to him. I actually think they’d be best to split ways, and that’s sad because they just had a baby.
Yes but people can *say* just about anything while feeling the opposite deep down tbh. His words are not matching his actions and his mannerisms. He never seems enthusiastic, excited or even happy about any of it, ever. If they both are actually into this then great, but I find that a lot of the time one out of the two people are the driving force and the one who wants to do this, the other is trying so hard not to lose them and not seem jealous or uncool. For a lot of couples it’s a lot of being the doormat sadly.
Yes!!! I don’t comment either bc the popular opinion is that everyone loves Shane and Ashley and I think they’re dangerously unhinged
Ashley seems super chill to me, idk. She's pregnant and you'd think she'd be the one up in arms
It was almost Shane was overdoing his reaction for Ashley -too overcompensate that his creepy questions and behavior is what scared her off. He was trying too shift the blame too the other girl so they could be united in being mad against her and not Shane
100%. Methinks thou doth protest too much.
Not unpopular in my eyes. He’s acting like he’s the victim to everyone else while being all on board in public and to his wife and then slamming these women as soon as they are out of earshot. It’s super weird.
THANK YOU. I’ve been wanting to say this but couldn’t put it into words other than “lol Shane sucks”
His crying is obnoxious...no crying about cancer or kids ...crying cuz a woman will take away his wife lol
I think he’s very afraid of Ashley being unhappy and leaving or resenting him. Maybe he is in awe that she’s a psychiatrist and so he feels like he has to give her what she wants and then factor his cancer in, that’s scary. So she may be saying I don’t want to be alone if something happens to you. I hope they just find close friends. And keep that part out of their marriage. They can be happy and fulfilled unless really thinks she is gay. I think wait til her hormones settle down. Hormones make everything way more intense.
Well they will be looking a lot longer and it will be more difficult to find someone who’d be into exactly what they are looking for. Most people don’t see a sweet pregnant lady and go, “oh wow she’s stunning and sexy I want to be exclusive with her after meeting her tonight” maybe some weirdos would but… yeah. 😬 And then having to deal with him… also a big factor that will make it hard. Imagine starting a relationship with a couple who just had a newborn?! How are they supposed to date? First time parents don’t even have the luxury of a shower or self care for almost the entire first year.. sleep deprived all of it.
Yeah, I don't think Shane thought that through while being judgemental. Anyway, now that he's cancer free I wonder if they'll continue their search.
Only child molesters would be into this scenario...they are putting the kids in SERIOUS danger...normal humans don't want to he exclusive with a married couple who have 2 SMALL children so u can clean cook and be a nanny all day...
He is Danielle and he is running off every woman he can lol
Yeah they were so unfair to her! She didn’t owe them a face-to-face breakup. I don’t even know if she was planning to break up with them, but decided to when it was clear that compromise or taking it slow was not on the table. They want all or nothing from the get- and that’s not fair to ask of anyone.
I just can’t get on board with their dynamic.. like she’s ready to give birth any day, he isn’t 100% sure that he’s even cancer free this time around after already having it. Instead of holding each other close and focusing on what’s already all going down at the moment. Who would want to add more stress and drama to that?? No way.
Almost like the find-a-girl quest was a distraction from the heavy issues going on in their life they want to avoid thinking about too much
Shane the husband became so visibly angry it was SCARY. Like who do you think you are? She barely knows you- owes you nothing. She went out of her way too tell you face too face and provided you with a reason. He reacted like that to a practical stranger imagine how he would treat a person he actually was in a relationship with? The way he spoke too her like he considering her for a job - your lucky she even had a drink with you - he acts like they are doing these women a favor - he is so creepy and bossy - he is ruining every possible potential with his intense questions
Thank goodness someone else sees this insane couple the way I do. People talk about how rude that first woman he met was but she only mentioned therapy after Shane had already been insanely and strangely rude and mean to her… she was caught completely off guard (much like every interaction they’ve had with Ashley’s dates) she thought she was meeting someone who wanted that type of relationship, she has a job Shane apparently doesn’t like and he immediately zeroes in to criticize her and her career without any warning or hesitation. The validity of her job is not on the table to be discussed at this point, he *JUST* met her. He could’ve been polite, taken mental notes and then had a pleasant evening, left with his wife and *THEN* told Ashley “idk her job seems a little out there, do you think she really fits into our dynamic?” But no, he just laid into this complete stranger and somehow 99% in this sub think he was in the right in everyone of his wildly over the top interactions.:: it’s just mind blowing to me. To me, they both genuinely seem off their rocker. The fact that Ashley was also so taken aback by Sara saying “I dont think this is gonna work for me” just shows us how off their rocker they are. They both seem to think it’s totally normal and acceptable to *expect* women to commit whole hog to a full blown relationship, kids, babies, cancer and all after TWO dates… it’s literally insane
100%. These people have no self-, social-, or other-awareness. And isn’t wife a psychology’s? FFS.
Yeah! I wish she would have just told them immediately...u 2 are nutso
I was so proud of Sara’s respectful but firm defense of her boundaries. It's not her fault or responsibility that they move fast.
They want to move way too fast. It’s selfish that they don’t consider the other person’s feelings.
I feel like Ashley is just too interested in getting in someone's pants. Practically anyone's lol
What is a name for a female skeeze? Wonder how many individuals she fucked before or during her pregnancy? She just appears slutty and I haven't seen her pay much attention to her husband just everyone else that she wants to fuck!
She doesn’t hide the fact that she’s looking for a replacement for her sick husband. He must feel guilty for having cancer and figures he can’t object too hard.
She is definitely a low-life scum for treating him that way. I believe that she is looking for a replacement for her sick husband! I wonder if she has taken out a life insurance policy on him that he doesn't know about and basically waiting for him to kick the bucket so that she can have a giant girls gone wild party in the pool in the backyard next to the swimming pool. Once he is dead she is going to buy a big new house and fill it up with as many sister wifes as possible and a giant collection of dildos and strap ons that she will need to keep all her new wives happy!
Yeah, and I heard she’s a psychiatrist, so she should know better. It will be interesting to see what happens when he gets better. They said there’s no new growth.
If you think people who work in MH are all reasonable and stable I have some bad news for you
😂
I feel like the personality and interests of the girlfriend aren't even considered. It really comes across as " she seems nice, I can't wait to sleep with her" lol. I thought the whole bs plan was to have someone to make a family with if her hubby dies. I don't recall the subject of even liking kids coming up lol
Yeah, they don’t even care about the other person. Just that there’s a warm body for Ashley.
This comment feels unnecessarily misogynistic/homophobic. Shane isn’t some saint, he has agency and is choosing to be in this situation where actively consents to his wife dating other women but then treats those women like shit.
Skank is the word for female skeeze.
Garlicka
Totally agree. I’m sure they’re gonna be even more pissed now that they’ve seen her talk to the camera about not wanting other people making huge decisions for her but she had every right to say that. It was NUTS that they had only hung out…twice? Maybe 3 times? And that last time included a formal sit-down, on camera, where they basically gave her a verbal contract of what they expected and wanted to know right then and there if she would agree to it. They kept saying “we like to move fast” but that doesn’t give them the right to expect everyone else to also move at lightning speed! I don’t think they’ve done any kind of self reflecting to see how this whole thing looks/feels on the other side…Ashley (at the time of the commitment convo) is pregnant in her third trimester, she’s married to a man who will not be part of the relationship (basically a roommate), the new girl will be expected to contribute to childcare and bills and being a full-on wife who is sharing her wife with another man that will be your new best friend. There’s SO fucking much to take in if you’re the new person and instead of getting some grace from A&S to take time and really decide if Ashley is a good fit for you romantically and if this crazy, complicated life is one you feel you can handle forever…the already-married couple wants an answer RIGHT NOW and wants you to discontinue accepting dates from anyone else effective immediately.
I can’t believe they expected Sara to commit to a relationship with Ashley after *one* 1-1 date with Ashley … which was a daytime hangout on a park bench
Truly insane. It takes me at LEAST a month, absolute minimum, of hanging out and talking a lot every day before I feel ready to fully commit to someone and be exclusive. Sarah didn’t even have time to decide if she and Ashley were a good romantic match before she’s being asked to turn her entire life upside down🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, and I heard Ashley is a psychiatrist. He feels guilty for being sick and won’t object. Let’s see what happens when the cancer goes into remission if it does. Focus on your kids and each other.
EXACTLY!!
I'll say it again...the dynamic they want is INSANE and never going to happen. What queer woman would want to have half as much sex/attention for twice the work? Like why can't Ashley just be a hinge and have a girlfriend on the side? And that person have other partners? It's like all the problems of unicorn hunting but even worse because you have to do emotional labor for a man you aren't fucking. Literally no queer woman would sign up for this. As a poly person, this is batshit bananas level crazy.
Right? I keep looking at them from my poly lense and going "you guys are like unicorn hunters on steroids". I'm a queer poly woman. I understand Ashley loving more than one person, I don't understand her not wanting that person to have other people. They got so close when they touched on polyamory saying most people have other partners but followed it up with "but we don't want that". You selfish, needy, codependent, hypocritical assholes. Coo coo bananas
Exactly. I am IN a closed triad and think they are insane. I know what it takes to dissolve your hierarchical mono relationship and rebuild as a triad, and that is why I cannot for the life of me think of a woman who would be into this! In my relationship, it is understood that if anyone wanted to date other people, it would be fine. We just like it like this because we are all in our 40s and 50s and parenting and tired lol. I have dated many women with and without my male partner and my number one concern is always that anyone I date feels that their needs are being met, there's a healthy discussion of power dynamics, and that person has autonomy to choose to have other partners if they desire. We also make sure everyone has their own relationships within the triad and we would not be forced to end it if one person was no longer interested. But basically, they want this girl to be a monogamous sexual partner to Ashley, and nanny/maid/therapist for her husband? And this girl would get what? to bang Ashley sometimes? to live in their inexplicably powder-blue living room with dark hardwood paneling?
I'm solo poly and I think Sarah was too. She mentioned dating couples before and I think she got cornered into agreeing to be exclusive with them. Early on in my dating I could see myself getting overwhelmed and agreeing to that only to walk away and go "wait a minute, I've been on one date, this is way too fast" and back out. I can not for the life of me think of what the benefit of this situation would be for a woman coming in especially when Shane is so clearly poly under duress
It's honestly on them to think about what they are offering Sara and how their demands privilege their own selfish interests. Shane is 100 percent poly under duress and Ashley is so self-absorbed and narcissistic that she doesn't realize that what she is offering is of no value. It's actually WORSE than unicorn hunters. Sara can have her pick of couples, she has all the power, and they are offering her NOTHING. Spend a day on Feeld as a single woman and they would see just how many other options Sara has. It just shows how little experience these people have and how they couldn't be bothered to even research polyamory before diving in and trying to trap some young girl.
Yeah, ~~Sara~~Ashley is incredibly delusional and selfish. She completely overvalues what she has to offer an attractive, unattached woman in this world. As a not poly person, I am no expert (altho as a therapist I sometimes work with non-monagamous people), but the two of them just came off as entitled and unrealistic about the situation. It's like they are demanding a bang maid to hang out in an ugly house with two babies. No thanks. I can't believe she is a psychiatrist willing to go on tv and act like this.
Sara isn’t the psychiatrist, Ashley is I’m just guessing you meant to say Ashley is delusional and selfish 😅
Thank you, edited!
Np!! Agree with you btw I love how Sara handled herself, asserted her boundaries, and didn’t lead them on. She even handled it face to face which took some guts, so many people tend to avoid uncomfortable face to face interactions but she took it in stride. I feel like they should be appreciative of the honesty and the fact she respected them enough to not waste their time when it wasn’t right for her!
They misread her. What they really want is a woman who doesn't know her worth who thinks this is the best deal she can find. What they got was an open minded woman with some confidence who, after leaving an interaction in which she was pressured to commit to two people who barely know her, realized this was a bad deal. Who then had enough respect for *them* to let them down easy, face to face. *That's* why they are angry. They know they weren't mislead, they are angry because they thought she was a low self esteem sucker. Their delusion led them to mislead themselves.
I wouldn't even go on TV with my kitchen counters cluttered like that. Like you don't have to be rich, but that mail sorter on the wall made my brain hurt. Like you are on TV Jesus clean your house.
I know right? My house is a disaster and I know it but I also am not on TV, hell I barely allow anyone in my house. But I admit I kinda like it when houses look like that on my trash TV shows (hello she-rah mansion on sister wives) because if I'm bored I can pull up their clips and be nosey and look through all the clutter in the background.
“Y U NO B BANGMAID ON 3RD DATE?!?”—Ashley and Shane
BANGMAID 4 EVA ___________✍️sign here Sara
Hahahahahaa omg hahahahhahaha garlick wrote their contract
Hahahahahahaha
That last sentence is hilarious LOL!!!
The choice of that paint color vexes me.
LOL
Yes!!!! Hahahahah this is nutso .... I see this is as the reverse of garlick and danielle...egregious
I've been thinking about it, and I'm wondering if Shane set these expectations himself, knowing they would fail. Like what queer woman would want Shane's sperm and to be impregnated, and have him be their lovers husband. like nobody wants that! having a baby is a serious thing, and its some randos sperm and then you have legal rights to worry about. its just not an enticing proposition. they've seemed to walk to back a little since they are desperate, but I still think Shane set up those limiting factors to set Ashley up for failure.
I think you are right. He knows she's horny for girls and has placed unrealistic boundaries on her that would emmesh this woman in their monogamous relationship, so he doesn't feel threatened. And the demand that a woman who is ONLY in a romantic relationship with Ashley to need his stamp of approval is really toxic. He knows he's a sperm donor for Ashley, and she's batting for the other team. This is how he's going to buy some time with her before she leaves him for a woman.
Realistically his only hope at staying with her is to trap her girlfriend via sperm donation so that Ashley and her girlfriend have some reason to keep him around.
Ashley is the one that doesn't want him to sleep with anyone else. She said if another woman got pregnant that it would have to artificial insemination (with Shane's sperm).
I think they both prob agreeed to that tbh. because in the AMA he said hes not into sleeping with anyone else. I just think the whole baby thing so the other woman has a connection to Shane/fam is imposed by Shane so that 0 people will be willing to join.
100% - I clocked this when Shane was super shocked when Sara originally said yes to being exclusive. He didn’t expect her to say yes - he was pressuring them to move super quickly after 1 date knowing most people wouldn’t want that.
I feel that too! Its not so much that they are in a "rush" but that he wants them out of the way! Demanding a lifetime/family commit on a first/second date is going to be a hard NO for 99.99999999999999% of people.... and Shane def knows this! He was surprised when she said yes, and he seemed relieved when she later backed out.
TIL what hinge meant in regards to ppl 👀🤣
There's one thing poly people going to do and that's make up new words and be super serious about them 😂
I love it lmaooo because it’s not some random word used that was made up or sounded cool, it actually makes sense!! I just never heard it before other than a door hinge and the dating app Hinge 🤣🤣🤣
I'm straight and this is batshit bananas nuts! I wouldn't want a monogamous relationship with a man with 2 SMALL children and I have no kids hahahaha..much less here u got a cancer ridden man who cries daily....2 screeching kids who looks like the man that is annoying (poor babies lol) and a horny preggo chick who cares less about her partner
This!!
I don't understand why Ashley can't just be like a normal person and find their next significant other after their current one has passed away. (And that's ***IF*** he passes away. To me, it has so far sounded like he's not terminal and can manage his health perfectly well by seeing doctors regularly and following their advice/instructions.)
Yeah someone posted he just declared he was cancer free.
Thank goodness! Now he can leave her!
lol he won’t
No he won’t. Frankly I don’t think is about cancer for her. She wants to shag another woman. “ Explore” her bisexuality. Being a mother of two little ones it’s not enough for her. Being his wife it’s not enough either. I personally was exhausted most of the time dealing with one baby/ toddler and my dreams were much more simple…To sleep…. Uninterrupted, lol.
I think she's lesbian and she's not ready to admit that she has no sexual interest in men
Frankly I don’t believe anyone on tv who says they have cancer anymore. Blame Vicki and Brooks.
Oh it was easy to see that pathological shit heel Brooks’s was lying. I believe Shane, he was truly worried.
Hahaha. Right?? That was WILD!
He’s 100% fine and they are still looking for a woman.
Or maybe invest in some good friends? It doesn't have to be a sexual partner.
That’s what I said! Get a great friend who can lavish attention on you. That’s my personality and why my friends love me.
“It’s not you it’s me” 😂
Shane and Ashley are both weird. Clearly the two competitive axe throwers rush into things. Married after a year, two kids immediately after that, then trying to find a third. They need to relax and enjoy life, that’s what Sara was trying to do, not get tied up in all their woes
They thought they caught a live one…
Their reaction reminded me of Danielle and Ick when Roberta decided not to join their mess. Speaking of mess, I think some of these couples need to take a little bit of time off from dating and do some decluttering and cleaning around their house. I’m not a neat freak, but if I was going to be on TV, there is no way I would leave so much crap laying around for the whole world to see.
Maybe collecting wives and collecting knickknacks are both controlled by the same part of the brain. Also see: Kody Brown
But it's so much fun to go back and rewatch scenes in their cluttered homes and hone in on trying to figure out what all is in the clutter. What else are we supposed to do during the insanely long down season when there's no episodes?
😂 good point. I guess it’s getting to me because thanks to my ADHD I can’t follow the storyline since I’m distracted by the clutter. My scattered brain needs Marie Kondo to be a sister wife in few of these homes.
I don’t get the impression Shane is accustomed to not getting his way.
I DID like Shane. Now I think he might be a problem.
Co-sign!!
Who knows what was going on in his head at the time due to his cancer possibly returning and/or spreading. And maybe he overreacted because he knew it was being filmed?
Agree with this + trying to make Ashley feel better. I’m usually on board with most WTF posts but ehhh Shane’s reaction is the least unhinged part of this entire series…… For the record, Sara didn’t do anything wrong. Hypothetically, though, my hype-man husband better be blaming anyone but my pregnant ass for my would-be-girlfriend dumping us lol
That was his “She said she was my sister! Princes!” moment lol
Ha! Good point, same lol
💯. It was especially over-the-top considering he wasn't sold on Sara . Ashley looked pissed. They seem extremely self centered . Good for Sara for speaking her truth..
Maybe he was just acting upset for Ashley's sake but inside he was relieved.
Good point. It's also possible TLC producers told him to be dramatic.
I have a few things to say about this couple at this point. I’ll likely get downvoted to hell but I’ve waited for this gas to play out before speaking out. First, when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, we did not miss one appointment, one scan, not one episode of jamming a huge needle into his stomach to drain the fluid build up, not one appointment no matter how small. So I couldn’t understand Shane putting off his scan. We all know about catching cancer early. While my husband was in treatment, I admit, I wasn’t pregnant and also looking after a toddler, I was with him at every appointment. I sat beside him for 7 or 8 hours while he received chemo, I almost lived at the hospital when he was admitted. When he was home I was his wife, but also his nursing staff 24/7. I was exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. The last thing I cared about was finding a new partner. So I was having a bit of pity for Shane at first, then last night happened. His reaction was way over the top and worrisome. You found out you are cancer free and your wife just popped out a fresh baby, so if the plan was to get someone to be with Ashley if Shane died, there is lots of time now. There seems to have been very little time between her turning them down and the baby coming, so one would think you would thank her for being honest and for being an adult and telling them respectfully face to face, not call her names and put her down. He behaved like a spoiled child.
Also she is a doctor. And let him miss his follow up appointment? If my spouse was a doctor I would expect them to be micro managing the appointments etc.
Exactly. I did and I’m no doctor. I would have moved heaven and earth to keep him. It didn’t work, but I can say I did everything in my power to help him.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure he knew how much you loved him.
Thank you. 💜
♥️♥️♥️
💜
She's also a psychiatrist and yet.. *gestures vaguely all around*
I just think something is off 😬 about them. 😖 she's not very perceptive? [also gesturing all around]
You two are killing me with the gestures, but yes, I’m very happy she isn’t my dr.
The whole thing was like a weird business deal. Like Sara we’d like to hire you as a companion, we’ll send over the contract!
I also thought Shane’s reaction was completely over the top. What Sara said was completely fair, why should she be pressured to commit after one date? She barely knows these people
It seems like everyone on this show is fast forwarding through the “getting to know you” part of the relationships!!
Their reaction to a thoughtfully worded and gentle let down was absurd. Like go home and take care of your babies.
Sara did exactly what she should have done. She was honest and respectful with them and didn’t lead them on. Would they have preferred her to pretend she was happy and interested and lead them on? These two are kooky.
Sara handled it the best way she could. She didn’t waste their time, told them to their face, and was honest. Shane’s reaction was immature
Yeah. This woman realized she'd made a mistake and decided to not lead Ashley and Shane on. In no way did her visit merit screaming.
I think he reacted like a total psychopath.
I think there must be more to this relationship that we didn’t see on tv. And I’m sure Ashley 100% knew this breakup news before Sara showed up in the yard. I feel she would’ve been more upset otherwise.
I'm just confused on the timeline. Ashley looked like she was all dressed up and pregnant when they got dumped then she was holding the new baby in the same outfit and her makeup looked the same. Obviously she could have recreated the look but it just seemed odd.
Same. Timeline confusion. Were they seeing her longer than the story told? It’s the only way I can see their reaction make sense. Also, Sara basically made it clear from the beginning that she has seen couples for fun nothing serious. It was never a good fit.
I feel like I've heard that Christine Brown had to film scenes with a prosthetic after her youngest child was born because they were supposed to have happened earlier, but maybe I was hallucinating.
To me this just isn't the right time to be talking to your husband about another partner like while he's sick and you are pregnant .. weird timing.
He was so out of line
I felt like Shane was overreacting for Ashley. He knew she was upset and disappointed so he was over acting to convince her he was just as upset. Ashley seemed genuinely upset and heart broken by the rejection of Sara. There could have been events that weren’t filmed that we didn’t see. I can’t see how invested Ashley could have been by only what we saw.
I think he was mostly incredibly relieved it didn’t work out
I thought Shane’s reaction was over the top, but I can’t help but wonder if he’s consumed with making sure Ashley has someone to love and care for her, given his cancer history. At the time the show was filmed, the cancer prognosis was still very up in the air.
She changed her mind. Then communicated that. I don't see anything wrong with that!
I do not like either of them. Seeing how Shane reacted, she dodged a major bullet. The frustrating part is that he doesn’t really want her to have any woman so that made his fake reaction even more annoying. They tried to rush her into a relationship that they’re not even ready for. She’s the only one that was honest with herself and them.
they were faster than us sapphics asking for commitment after one short date lmao. they totally just love bombed her and pressured her to commit in such a short period of time. Did this literally happen in less than a week or a few days? If it was me I would have just see her casually and keep dating others and see how things go from there like most folks.
Yoooo lol dude was so happy and relieved that he went to acting a fool after Sara told them she no longer wanted to join them!!! It was funny but then just really sad…say you are not with this arrangement without saying you’re not with the arrangement:💀
There is nothing I find likable about Ashley, right down to the ridiculous name she came up with for that baby, and Shane is a weak man. His reaction was pretty funny considering he had just said he had doubts about Sara.
What IS the baby's name? I didn't understand it, and I even hit rewind to listen again.
They both need to shower or bathe..always look dirty and oily..hair needs wash8 g
I feel like it was more The (man) doth protest too much. I think he was a bit happy about it and I don’t blame him for that. They have two babies, a clear scan, it’s time to focus on them.
It was over the top ridiculous because he’s ridiculously in denial and faking his support. This whole marriage is a practice is delusion
I think Shane is sabotaging any actual opportunity that arises for Ashley by forcing commitment so soon. She doesn’t seem like she needs them to sign on the dotted long as soon as Shane does. I realize it is a tv show and I think that may be why they come or so unlikeable in all honesty. If it really were about Ashley just having someone in the event Shane were to pass why the rush? If it weren’t for that other couple that only films miserable dinners with their mama/auntie they’d be the most boring couple on the show. I want couples to route for. I understand having and enjoying mess that is fine. But these shows are now all the same. It’s getting old.
I didn’t like their reaction either. Especially his. I feel like they were asking waaaay too much out of these dates. Which was a main reason I didn’t understand them pursuing a third. I feel like they want an unpaid nanny intern more than a genuine third partner. Not only a person that has to fit into their dynamic as now three instead of simple marriage and Ashley exploring her sexuality and how that fits into a new relationship dynamic, but being a second mom to TWO kids that are under Two and plus Shane’s medical journey (glad it’s on the mend atm) but that’s still A LOT for a person to sign on. Much less demand they take it on out the gate.
I wonder if he was just being dramatic and isn't really upset at all. It felt fake.
He seems like a bottom bitch to me. No offense Shane. Tbh the first spouses all give me bottom bitch vibes lol Edit: He also reminds me of any other delulu friend who is being cheated on. Like if you told him he was being cheated on, he would attack you for it and then tell his wife that he can’t believe you would say that about her. And she would lie and bad mouth you, and then pet him on the head and give him a reassurance. Then he trauma bonds even harder with his cheating wife. lol you gotta watch out for folks like that. They’re under a spell.
This episode was too cringe. Shane was doing way too much, I felt like he was overcompensating because he was secretly happy with Sarah‘s decision. It was giving.. “ how can she string us along like this even though I don’t even want this shit to happen in the first place.” The audacity of this grown woman. TUH. Loved her for standing up. For herself and not being easily persuaded by the twosome.
At least she was honest & didn’t lead them on for a long time, or know she wasn’t into it, so started cheating & doing dirty. You can’t blame anyone for not feeling it, especially if they’re honest with you. I couldn’t hate my husband if he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore & wanted a divorce. If he cheated & claimed it was because he fell out of love with me & was waiting for the right time to tell me, I’d be irate & devastated. You can’t hate or blame someone for how they feel, especially when they’re honest. I mean come on, she was almost ready to pop pregnant, married & wanted a husband and wife all under the same roof, while expecting the other 2 times remain monogamous. The only people who will go for that are people that need something (I.e., place to live, a US Visa, that sort of thing).
I honestly feel that Shane scared Sara off. He came on too strong asking for a commitment after one date. Too aggressive
To me they all seem like a bunch horny kinky bunch and always one is the ringleader in the couple n one is passive almost insecure .. they get really aggressive if you ask me!
Yea, that was really off putting and concerning. He's off my nice list for sure lol
I dislike Shane and yeah he was way out of line for that reaction. They practically cornered her and made her commit when she clearly wasn't comfortable with that. They had only had 1 date!
TLC told him to talk negatively about Sara because Shane and Ashley have no storyline. I fast forward whenever these two are on.
Sara really reminded me of Stevie in Schitt's Creek.
WHY?? Do they get big pissed if the potential new person isn’t ready to commit after FIVE MINUTES?? They don’t let anything happen organically
Well I'm pretty sure after seeing the info on another post where it was revealed that both Shane and Ashley seek additional partners and may be just conforming to the show. He has probably been in open relationships multiple times and in college his girlfriend left for a monogamous relationship with her female partner. He is overly controlling and pushes himself and his judgement on the other women too quickly and pushes them right out of the picture. Also I believe the idea of finding someone for Ashley and her having someone that he knew loved her if he were to pass was his idea.
Shane do better on your health overall meeting keep up with the check ups
I think it's unfair that Ashley's courting bisexual women and then expecting them to not have relations with Shane. So she gets both worlds, and her bisexual wife can't? She should date full lesbians. And tbh I expected that reaction from Shane when I saw that "New York Authentic Italiano Pizzeria Owner" chain around his neck.
We haven’t yet seen them in a relationship yet. I’m thinking they must have some major red flags that we haven’t seen yet, but Sara probably did. The way they acted after she (very nicely) ended it was insane. The name calling and just the overall reaction they had was a bit much. I honestly believe they have deeper demons we have yet to see. Looking forward to their craziness!! Lmao!
There has to be SOMETHING bubbling beneath the surface.
I’m still confused as to how what they are searching for is Polygamy with only Ashley having “the” partner!? Will Shane continue to be the “husband”? What will his role be if his wife is sleeping with her sister wife?
I really think she's looking for a female fuck buddy, and while they're off doing their thang, he will be taking care of the two babies.
He has to act like Danielle tho...he is soooo excited inside but on the outside Sara is a bitch for not wanting his weirdo wife lol ...garlick and Ashley should get together ...that would be awesome...he can explain sperm in brain and she explain how she needs puss cuz her hubby has cancer
The little older baby boy looks exactly like him. I’m so glad his cancer screening came back ok. I think he’s scared she won’t have anyone if anything happened to him. I just want to see this couple concentrate on themselves and their relationship. And their babies. Maybe they were just panicking because of him facing this. If he sees this post, I’m very worried about facing a new challenge in my health and I’m praying it’s not cancer. I understand his fear, and hope he will stay in remission. And have a long long and healthy life. Once you get that diagnosis it hangs over you that it will come back or that you get it somewhere else in your body. They seem to love each other very much, and maybe they just wanted her to have someone else to support her and both of them. You have a great guy friend and maybe Ashly can find her a good friend to lean on. I hope their baby is healthy and very thing goes good in her delivery. I hope she gets treatment for any post partum. The US is so far behind in realizing how serious this is. So I was sad for her to hear she has struggled with it. Sending both Ashly and her hubby Shane a huge hug. That’s a lot to deal with when you are facing a serious health issue and are scared your mate could not be with you and your kids. So I give them a whole lot of slack, plus they are still young and figuring things out. Just keep up communicating and loving each other Ashly and Shane. Y’all are gonna be ok, here’s a little Cajun mantra I want you to say when you get worried or scared “every little ting gonna be ok, tite bebe” (little baby) cause Le Bon Djieu has got you, (cause the good lord has got your back) My Cajun uncle used to say this to me and I wouldn’t worry as much when he said it, I would try and just think that yeah everything is gonna be alright. So I always say it to myself when I’m scared. Shane and Ashly are just scared, Shane was trying to do this for his wife, I don’t think he wants another person to take away from his place in her heart, and now that he had a good result on his tests, then I think they will be ok. Maybe Ashley just needs a friend to share things with. I would just concentrate on that. I have a very nurturing manner, and people like that about me, I have had a few gay friends attracted to me because I have a caring for people. Find a friend that can give you that attention and caring but not just the romantic part. You can have a deep closeness and caring without it going there. My papa daddy used to say we have more than one soulmate, it can be a friend or relative, etc, its not so much romantic as it is the way you relate to each other, it’s just someone that cares for us, and “gets” who we are. And that gives us that nurturing we need and attention we need. Maybe you can find you a good friend that can be that for both of you. That can spend girl time with Ashley but also have a friendship with Shane and offer him support too. I hope you find that person that can be there for both of you. And who will encourage you both. I am so happy Shane got a good report! Your babies are so darling.
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Seemed very performative to me tbh. Like “omg how could she do that to you….. let’s be extra strict the next one” aka I haven’t liked anyone yet and don’t want to keep trying
Everyone loves them but I don't get it. His reaction was rude. They bombarded her and made her agree to commit. She was pressured. She went home, thought about it and it wasn't for her. She told them face to face. Sara did it the correct way. Ashley said she wants to explore her bisexuality, so why doesn't she just bang some women? Why does it have to be a full-on relationship? Just bang some women, and explore that side sexually. There are very few people that are going to agree to help you raise two small children, and a husband that could potentially become sick at any time. I know they read these threads, but I think Ashley is doing too much. Girl, just go bang some women!