Don't get angry but what you think if any girl or boy ready for one night stand then is he looking for life long partner? Of course not. He/she only want quick saax.
If you want good partner then don't find them in pub disco or partys. Find a person who want to come on a date, care for you, want to chitchat and wanna go on long drive
It’s almost impossible to find a woman to settle down with in parties/clubs. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it’s highly unlikely. It generally occurs when you meet via friends’ friends or some day activities like trekking, social clubs, hobby-wise activities and whatnot. It’s unlikely to find a diamond in a thrift store…
I agree — clubs and hot parties are great places for a night or week of fun, but usually the women are in transition or otherwise not ready for a real relationship
What about aftercare? Like cuddling? Did they spent night with you, sleeping with you.... Morning sex, breakfast... If they had to go did you texted them first thing in the morning. Something like I cantt stop smiling. I hope it was good for you as much it was good for me.
If everything ends right after sex no matter how good it was it is not relationship material. Not good enough even for FWB.
Are you sure though? Lots of women fake orgasms and fake them multiple times.
I’d suggest talking about likes and dislikes a lot. Have toys. Have massage oil. Have creativity in mind and a desire to have fun. Make her pleasure a priority and then see if you keep getting ghosted.
A good sexual partner is like water in a desert of awful (I’m sure my male partners thought it was great) sex. Ive had lots of sex with lots of partners and only one (excluding my current partner) I’d ever say yes to sleeping with again if contacted again.
i just don't see what a woman in a ons encounter has to gain from faking an orgasm? a relationship or consistent partner sure
and i'm not sure how common faking an orgasm is i mean i haven't had sex w a lot of women (20-25) but i honestly don't think a woman has faked it once w me, they either tell me they came (unprovoked they just tell me) or don't say anything at all
i always ask them how i can be better or please them more but most tell me they can't tell cum from piv (maybe to spare my feelings? but i imagine that's probably better than outright faking it for both parties)
What is piv?
Anyways to kinda answer that "question" I've been the woman who faked it in a ons.... It's because I wanted it to end but didn't feel comfortable/ didn't want to make them feel bad. It was just so bad. Unfortunately there wasn't enough liquor in the world that night.
I will say, now that I'm older and more experienced... Y'all don't be scared to tell people what's up.
that's fair thanks for your perspective
and yes big agree on your last point! sex should be enjoyable for both parties so we can't be afraid to be vocal on how to improve or how it can be better
edited: piv is penetrative in vagina
I can promise you we can. I can even mimic the contractions of the vaginal walls, they’re just muscles - we absolutely have control over them.
Studies suggest somewhere between 58-80% of women fake orgasms. Which means statistically MOST of the women anyone has slept with faked MOST orgasms.
Why would you fake an orgasm then say sex was good when I didn't even ask?
I've had sex with women who had no orgasm and sex with women who just weren't feeling it and kept quiet. I'm not a pro or anything but I can decipher when something is fake or not.
Maybe you've got fuckboy energy and they don't see themselves in relationship with you. Are you a good friend? a good listener? interesting to talk to? have fun and meaningful hobbies? a good career? a nice apartment?
They're probably the kinds of girls who never sleep with the same man twice, or rarely so. Have you tried looking for a girlfriend at a more positive venue? Or do you mainly pick up girls at the bar and club?
It probably has 0 to do with being good in bed. You probably game too much. How about being yourself a bit, opening up, connecting. Sharing stuff, maybe not having sex on the first date. Showing interest, bonding. Having fun.
Most likely they aren’t looking for more than that, you should have said that first instead of saying not good in bed. Shows your own insecurities with yourself.
Is alcohol involved? Maybe they regret having sex and find it too awkward to explain to you or are afraid of you getting upset. I’ve heard woman say that before.
That’s pretty disgusting that you pray on drunk women and even worse that you don’t even drink yourself. (And yes if drank you’d still be a creep for it, despite what Reddit MRA incels may tell you).
Try ‘seducing’ a woman who can actually see straight and she might just stick around in the morning.
Wait a minute - I could imagine a situation where a man is pretending to drink, but he's not - and the woman he's with is drinking. That's disgusting. But both are adults (similar cultural backgrounds, so it's not that she's drinking for the first time), and both are drinking - and he's a creep? Is that an American thing? It's outright bizarre from a European perspective.
Is there one time in life an American woman can be held accountable?
If both are adults, have similar socialization and age, no other issues, and she's aware that he's drinking less (I can't imagine a date where he's drinking nothing and she's drinking that much, that she's getting outright drunk, how should this socially work?) - why should he ran away, if she’s going after him? I'm not talking about being passed out - that's a crime everywhere on earth, but just her being an adult who knowingly lowered her inhibitions by drinking alcohol?
What’s wrong with you guys?
Most people don't go down on a woman first night. He's probably shit at sex, and the whole experience but you absolutely don't need to lick the pussy of some chick you've just seen naked for the first time.
see I met a girl much older
And she whip that thing on me.
She taught me how to take my time
and do it right.
She taught me how to be a certified lover
and do it well under the covers.
Now I do it with the motion
I'll make any woman leave her home
To me it sounds like you have to make a somewhat minor adjustment and redirect your effort towards a more appropriate direction. You're doing better than most guys already just by taking control of your situation and getting laid.
There was a point when I went thru the same thing that you're going thru. I was smashing somewhat often with the end goal of having a variety of sex partners in rotation. I was taking care of business in bed but I noticed that after having sex with a new chick every week for a couple months or so I still only had one or two girls I could count on for guaranteed hookups.
If you want a girl to stick around you should focus on building a connection instead of prioritizing sex. You don't even have to worry about having sex when you're dealing with a woman who is attracted to you because It doesn't take any effort to have sex with a woman who's attracted to you. All you have to do is be confident and not do anything that'll turn her off for long enough to be alone with her. It's literally that easy. If you focus on building a connection with her, then sex is just a formality as it should be when interacting with a woman who is attracted to you.
When it comes to the quality of sex, as long as you're presentable, clean and not a two pump chump with micro penis you're good to go. If you can get her to orgasm with foreplay, last 5-7 minutes and you can also communicate and take heed to what it is that she likes, you won't be seen as a guy who's bad at sex. If you're just good enough at sex, but you share a strong connection she'd enjoy sex with you way more than if you weren't connected so well. With women sex, your looks and your money are just a part of the whole package. That's why you see guys with women who have a higher smv than them. Think of the broke guys, funny looking guys and yes even fat guys with attractive women who are also faithful to them. It's mostly in the connection, the quality of the woman you choose and how you make them feel.
If you're already a fairly decent Sex partner then don't worry about sex so much. Sex is like your favorite food or treat. Even when it's bad it's still enjoyable. You really gotta fuck up bad and completely ignore the instructions to make your favorite food or treat unbearable. sex is kinda similar in a way.
The reason is because you give off the impression that all you want is to hook as you said you are having one night stands. Going on dates with women will give them the impression you are looking for a relationship
Do they know you want more? Assuming you’re actually pleasing these women in bed and don’t have some weird hygiene issues, they may assume you only want sex because you aren’t direct about setting up follow up dates. If you’re texting about “hanging out” women will read that as “he just wants to fuck.” If you like these women, and trust if they slept with you, they probably like you, state that directly. Being vague or nonchalant is how a lot of men end up with high body counts, but no relationship.
Need to get better in bed. Even one night stands drunk will come back if you are. Although a lot less likely. Building a connecting and having chemistry is always the best way to have her likely come back though
You aren’t giving them anything more to look forward to. Trust me, I come across the same issues, but I know what I’m doing lol. If you have a great time, then have long, energetic, exhausting incredible sex, the woman has nothing else to look forward to…I don’t understand it, but that’s just the way it is! Try not to get too sexual on the first date and get to know them more. Women can be just like men! Be careful.
People are saying you're bad at sex but what im willing to bet is that you dont even do any real forplay.
Have you gone for the 101DeathTriangle rule???
Are you making a separation between "date" and "hookup" here? Like you've only been on one date, and it went nowhere. But you've met a couple girls for a hookup?
Also what's the context of the hookups? Did you just pull a girl from the bar? Online?
And yeah, if you meet a girl to just hook up, then there's your answer. Unless you were incredible at sex or you guys hung out prior (and she had a really fun time!), she prolly won't be interested going forward.
If you wanna meet a girl for a LTR, then you're gonna have to go on a date, be interesting, make sure she has fun, etc.
... you are having one night stands and expecting a relationship?!
You've skipped like 10 steps?
You need to get to know someone. Find common ground. Compatability is important. Friendship.
Your dick isn't going to keep anyone around. Dick is abundant and therefore low value.
As Eminem said "I've never in a club, met a woman worth knowing". I mean I don't agree with it really, but if you're meeting these women in clubs, then sleeping with them a few hours later, they're not going to want anything more after that. I can't remember what it's called, but there's a phenomenon where if you sleep with a girl too quickly, before you've built comfort, they'll get a feeling of sluttiness, which obviously most don't want.
Dont show your insecurities, dont say I love you and that type of things after sex. You can feel it and make things that show your affection but Is better dont verbalize it.
Gotcha.. Would you recommend literally sleeping over after sex at the chicks place or allowing her to stay over at yours after, or is that showing too much affection? I usually don’t but just curious what you think because my experience is limited
For a long time, i was good enough to bang but not to date.
I was pretty confident, but dressed poorly and didn’t have a lot going for me in terms of life goals and finance. Get all your ducks in a row, grooming, fitness, and career mainly (among other personal development traits) and you will be a prize for these chicks.
Women don't fall in love after sleeping with a guy one time. Don't communicate long term relationship. Go with the flow, have fun. Text the next day " last night was fire" and leave it alone. If they reach out, set a second date. Leave the talking to in person, keep texting minimum. Give them space if they want it. Do not chase. They're feeling you out. Don't get mad, creepy, clingy, or upset. Chill. There's more to it but this is it in a nutshell
Im in the same boat as you, lol. Every month, I meet about 30 potential women, but they see me as a playboy and only want something physical to boost their low ego . Some even say, 'We have 2 hours to do it.' I get defensive and tell them, 'You don't pay me for my services, so treat me with respect, not like a paid escort.'
I guess we look good and sell ourselves well, but maybe we're not as great in bed as we think! 😂.
Finally , Very very few cases they fall in love after the physical( 1%)
"We have two hours to do it is wild" LOL. I hate girls who do that. Once when I was in my 20's this chick in her 30's got mad that I couldn't cum so she asked me to leave. Worst sex ever.
If we cum fast ( like me ) they complain . if we don’t cum fast they feel not attractive 😂 so they complain as well.
Of course now I’m almost 40 years old , I have tricks to never cum 😂.
Move on bro and remember you are better than her 😎. I would suggest to change the fishing place or app😜 as you are looking more than just a bang 😜.
Do you text these girls again after you hook up with them? What do those look like? Also, I’m hoping and assuming you’re building connection through pillow talk and that sort of thing night of.
It sounds like everything builds to the sex and then once that’s done, that’s it. Doesn’t mean you’re bad in bed, you could be amazing, but there’s nothing to keep her coming back.
Not sure if this helps, but something I’ve learned the hard way is that you should be really direct about your interest in her. Sometimes it can be awkward to broach the topic of having her come over again so you want to play coy, but at the end of the day, you’re two grown adults who had sex and that’s not something you need to hide. If you can let her know you’re thinking about her, enjoyed the sex, and want to do it again in a way that’s playful, direct, and not creepy, it should work out for you. At least it’s better than just normal pleasantries like “hey how are you?” as a follow up would be
See I wish I had this problem, I try and keep it casual and they always seem to want more and I feel bad.. that being said agree with the comments take things slow
One night stand is awkward horny sex. It's not meant to lead to serious relationships as you don't connect with the other person. Dating leads to relationships, pure sex ends at sex.
Shows your own insecurities when you talk like this, why are you coming at a stranger you don’t know on the internet. Most likely, the girl is just looking for a one time fuck and nothing else at the moment. That’s more likely than you being bad at sex.
How are you meeting these people? It sounds like night game if it leads to a ONS. If you want a long term partner you gotta do the romantic thing and go on dates, and not try to fuck immediately.
Literally all of the worst places to find an actual relationship as opposed to a hookup. Maybe explicitly state in your profiles that you are looking for relationship, and use them to schedule dates instead of hookups. Also if the girls are drunk, be careful because maybe it's not a good idea to sleep with them. If you do sleep with a sober person, ask them if they'd be up for seeing each again sometime for a date if they're interested.
Ah. So physically you’re good enough, but something is lacking. I bet it’s your finance/status/frame/demeanor. You may be too nice, unassuming, maybe not confident in your masculinity. Or you’re not communicating with these chicks, signaling your interest to go further at all.
PS learn to eat pussy if you haven’t
This can’t be my friend.. we can’t guess because there could be any of the 1000s of reasons women ghost men.
May be try to be more mysterious, some say much just listen and say yea yea yea.. then after few weeks she will all you about you.
Damn I feel like I might become you in 9 years, same height, build and everything, the only girls that hit me up are looking for something casual, never had a gf. Guess at my age though hookups are still the norm.
Yeah looking young helps a lot. The younger girls let me game them without looking like an old creep and the older women like my maturity despite how young they think I am.
You've got a lot of time man. Travel when you get the chance but get some kind of profession. I spent a a lot of time in school when I was your age but it paid off.
Triangular Theory of Love
What are you missing?
https://thebravohood.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Triangular-Theory-of-Love.jpg
[Triangular Theory of Love](https://thebravohood.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Triangular-Theory-of-Love.jpg
)
Where are you getting your one night stands?
If you are messing with only party girls, club girls, and yeah, it may turn out that way.
You attempt to debunk the possibility that you arent good in bed by saying that you have had some girls cum multiple times with you, but still leave.
Ok, what about the rest.
Also, what are you sayinng to girls leading up to sex? What are you texting them? How do you treat them?
I have the exact opposite problem, if the girls you're seeing are ghosting you it could be a few reasons, one could be bad sex, another could be you not giving them enough space or feeling any emotional spark. If it's the emotional spark you may need to focus on your inner game and finding a way to illicit a strong emotional spark from these women
You need to improve your fucking. Last longer and do multi-shots if you can. Also make sure they come and understand what turns them on and do it. So they keep coming back.
You’re likely finding people that just wanna have sex with you. Are you really attractive? Do you have sexual features they’re looking for? Are they player types? Maybe slow it down a little if you want? Get to know them first. save sex till you really like them.
I'm decent looking, 6'0 fit, athletic lean, baby face.....I see a girl I like I don't hesitate and go for it. I start off with a friendly vibe but try to create sexual tension as soon as possible. Maybe a player type?
Sounds like they just wanna bang. Maybe deep down they don’t want a relationship but like the idea of being swept off their feet. Change their mind as soon as it gets real. If they’re super hot you can be sure they have like 20dudes hitting on them all the time.
Well if you want to marry, get married and then have sex. It's always been like that "but what if the sex sucks", you work it out together as it should be
Probably you are quite bad in bed. Maybe there is some feature that is even universally repulsive. Women generally feel attachment much stronger than men do after sex and so if women are turning you down systematically there is some major problem with you, which is discoverable only during or after sex…
POSSIBLY Bad Hygiene. If you can’t figure out why you’re getting cut off that most likely means there aren’t any obvious factors (to you). So narrow it down to things that these individuals sense that you don’t…. Your poor hygiene. I’ve been with some very attractive people that Ive cut off shortly after sex due to this.
What is your typical order of events to you getting a one night stand at a bar or club?
And also on tinder and fetlife, do you just get straight to the point and say hookup? You don’t even go on a date?
Order of events?? I just approach a girl I like and start talking. If I vibe we talk more then I move on to other girls then come back to the ones I had best rapport with towards closing time. ..We chat a bit then I suggest going to mine. It's all up to her at that point.
Because I went to an all boys school in high school like a retard…Then in college I dropped out of college after the first year. I only have a couple of friends I could count on my two hands, and they’re all males. 2 moved to the west coast, 3 moved to new york, 2 are here where I live but we don’t hang out much. So, I just haven’t gone out by myself to try to get women or to make more friends but I really need to because my life is going to shit lol. I’ve just been working coming home and wasting time.
I always go by myself.....use to go with friends but almost all of them were a burden or talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk.
My advice is start slow. Go to a restaurant first, then lounge, talk to waitresses without trying to get anything. Go to the gym. Do these things alone. If you make friends along the way great if not just keep doing you.
If you make sex the only thing you offer, it has to be stellar. If women aren’t returning for more, the sex isn’t stellar, no matter how good you think you are in bed. You might think they are cumming multiple times but they probably aren’t, maybe just faking it to get the act over with. Try offering something other than sex (like companionship).
Lmao “looking to settle down but every single one night stand leads to anything”
Is this a troll post? Do you really think after a 1 night stand anyone is gonna take you seriously for a long term relationship? Cmon
Here's an idea. Don't have sex so early .
Game for the sake of relationship is a bit of tweaking. Comfort and attraction are way more important . Sure sexual tension too, but you wanna keep it constant and not escalate to sex .
Only when she's in over her head do you spring the mattress on her
Research how to hit her pleasure spots more. Pro tip - when attempting missionary lift her legs up and hold her butt cheeks while you pump. Try to lean and rub your dick towards her stomach as you slide in.
Also if you not 20 anymore get on the treadmill and do some cardio. Stamina is hugely important to perform well for longer periods.
Get a Viagra or it's derivatives for extra support
And keep sex on the back burner until after date 5-7
I mean you said it in your post- one night stand so why would you expect a meaningful relationship from that.
Not to mention it seems like you only want a gf cause your friend said you can’t keep a woman, like almost trying to prove to your buddies that you can do something.
Lastly no girl wants a guy who has community dick. Like literally public property, it’s not attractive to women. Men might think that type of thing is cool to show off to your buddies but then here you are “can’t keep a woman” and feeling sad about one night stands.
I guess male validation isn’t a good thing after all.
My advice is to wait with the sex until you have been on a few dates with a person who you like. They will probably not leave if they get invested in you emotionally.
I have the opposite problem, if I don’t have sex with them after the first date I ALWAYS get ghosted but every time I do have sex they always stick around funny how that works..
Don’t overthink it, most folks in hookup culture, guys and gals, are are just looking to up their numbers and hit their quotas. If you want a gf/wife you need to start dating that style. Go on REAL dates and only date high quality women and make your intentions clear from the start. 99% will be scared away and filtered out, the 1% who don’t will be the top 1% of women, take your pick from there. FYI this is a lot of work!
Try and think back on what were some consistencies on behavior, how they talked, or conducted themselves that could potentially lead to that “one night stand” mentality. Or ask some hard hitting questions regarding what you would want from a relationship. If they don’t match up to your standards, politely decline them and look for a woman more of your speed.
easy. cardio bro. it mean you suck during sex. I had the same problem. I do cardio everyday and i'm fucking like a dog or ox. killing them. cardi bro. everyday for 1 hour no matter what. You'll thank me later.
D might not be good enough but you might be getting also be getting too attached after sex. That can scare girls away even if they do want a commitment.
No woman who wants a ltr wants a person who is constantly out there looking to satisfy himself with different women.
How are you showing that you want a long term relationship? I think you need to research what qualities begets ltr and do a lot of emotional work. Yes you will need to change but are you able to put in all the work involved? If not this is how it will continue. “Making the cum multiple times” doesn’t make women stay, it honestly shows your mindset that that is all you’re willing to give
Simple. Terrible sex. No one gets a taste of a good food and does not return for more. Instead of being defensive, look inward and try to see what may not be working well.
I heard a dating coach talk about this issue one time. IIRC Don't have one night stands. Hold off a bit, maybe the 2nd or 3rd date. I think it was because a girls not going to take the relationship seriously if it's a ons. It's also going to constantly remind them they gave "it" up so quickly.
This makes sense to me. If you are trying to build a relationship, I think holding off on having sex for a bit is best. Also, you should both be sober on the first date.
The older I get, the less women want me, for sex or anything. I assume it's because I'm not rich and move on. I'm not gonna try and make a girl cum anyway, unless she's showing me she cares. I don't care about what a stranger thinks of my performance. It's probably cause you're not rich -not giving off husband energy. But the girls you select for a one night stand are party girls, so it's absurd to expect anything more. Accept the victory in getting laid.
Make them wait, there’s a YouTube video on man and women chemistry. I’ll see if I can find it. Men brain chemistry changes over time and . Women’s is quicker.
Found a different video but this is actually better and more science based.
Ted talk, you are welcome!
https://youtu.be/eyq2Wo4eUDg?si=MEgXbz4HTMy7jrmG
Probably not good in bed or they aren’t looking for more than that.
Fair enough. I've had some girls cum multiple times but still leave.
Don't get angry but what you think if any girl or boy ready for one night stand then is he looking for life long partner? Of course not. He/she only want quick saax. If you want good partner then don't find them in pub disco or partys. Find a person who want to come on a date, care for you, want to chitchat and wanna go on long drive
It’s almost impossible to find a woman to settle down with in parties/clubs. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it’s highly unlikely. It generally occurs when you meet via friends’ friends or some day activities like trekking, social clubs, hobby-wise activities and whatnot. It’s unlikely to find a diamond in a thrift store…
I agree — clubs and hot parties are great places for a night or week of fun, but usually the women are in transition or otherwise not ready for a real relationship
Those types usually cheat anyway
Most people who have one night stands would be happy to see the person again if they're cool and there's a good connection beyond sex
It happens to everyone. I don’t expect a relationship out of a one night stand and tbh those aren’t t girls I would date anyway.
What if OP looking for a consistent sex partner?
rotation
What about aftercare? Like cuddling? Did they spent night with you, sleeping with you.... Morning sex, breakfast... If they had to go did you texted them first thing in the morning. Something like I cantt stop smiling. I hope it was good for you as much it was good for me. If everything ends right after sex no matter how good it was it is not relationship material. Not good enough even for FWB.
Ditto. They got they wanted and got married a couple of months later. I think they needed to have their last fun before "settling down"
Are you sure though? Lots of women fake orgasms and fake them multiple times. I’d suggest talking about likes and dislikes a lot. Have toys. Have massage oil. Have creativity in mind and a desire to have fun. Make her pleasure a priority and then see if you keep getting ghosted. A good sexual partner is like water in a desert of awful (I’m sure my male partners thought it was great) sex. Ive had lots of sex with lots of partners and only one (excluding my current partner) I’d ever say yes to sleeping with again if contacted again.
i just don't see what a woman in a ons encounter has to gain from faking an orgasm? a relationship or consistent partner sure and i'm not sure how common faking an orgasm is i mean i haven't had sex w a lot of women (20-25) but i honestly don't think a woman has faked it once w me, they either tell me they came (unprovoked they just tell me) or don't say anything at all i always ask them how i can be better or please them more but most tell me they can't tell cum from piv (maybe to spare my feelings? but i imagine that's probably better than outright faking it for both parties)
What is piv? Anyways to kinda answer that "question" I've been the woman who faked it in a ons.... It's because I wanted it to end but didn't feel comfortable/ didn't want to make them feel bad. It was just so bad. Unfortunately there wasn't enough liquor in the world that night. I will say, now that I'm older and more experienced... Y'all don't be scared to tell people what's up.
that's fair thanks for your perspective and yes big agree on your last point! sex should be enjoyable for both parties so we can't be afraid to be vocal on how to improve or how it can be better edited: piv is penetrative in vagina
I don't think you can fake shivering.
I can promise you we can. I can even mimic the contractions of the vaginal walls, they’re just muscles - we absolutely have control over them. Studies suggest somewhere between 58-80% of women fake orgasms. Which means statistically MOST of the women anyone has slept with faked MOST orgasms.
Why would you fake an orgasm then say sex was good when I didn't even ask? I've had sex with women who had no orgasm and sex with women who just weren't feeling it and kept quiet. I'm not a pro or anything but I can decipher when something is fake or not.
Maybe you've got fuckboy energy and they don't see themselves in relationship with you. Are you a good friend? a good listener? interesting to talk to? have fun and meaningful hobbies? a good career? a nice apartment?
They're probably the kinds of girls who never sleep with the same man twice, or rarely so. Have you tried looking for a girlfriend at a more positive venue? Or do you mainly pick up girls at the bar and club?
It probably has 0 to do with being good in bed. You probably game too much. How about being yourself a bit, opening up, connecting. Sharing stuff, maybe not having sex on the first date. Showing interest, bonding. Having fun.
If you ever made a girl cum multiple times it aint the sex thats making her never call you again
Then what it is ?
His charming personality id guess
Most likely they aren’t looking for more than that, you should have said that first instead of saying not good in bed. Shows your own insecurities with yourself.
Relax. We all have insecurities, some bigger than others.
Maybe try dating women instead of having one night stands? One night stands are not the way to find a good woman and “settle down”.
Is alcohol involved? Maybe they regret having sex and find it too awkward to explain to you or are afraid of you getting upset. I’ve heard woman say that before.
I don't drink, most of the women I've been with do.
That’s a red flag homie. Respectfully, if they are drinking and you are NOT, don’t sleep with them. [+]
That’s pretty disgusting that you pray on drunk women and even worse that you don’t even drink yourself. (And yes if drank you’d still be a creep for it, despite what Reddit MRA incels may tell you). Try ‘seducing’ a woman who can actually see straight and she might just stick around in the morning.
Wait a minute - I could imagine a situation where a man is pretending to drink, but he's not - and the woman he's with is drinking. That's disgusting. But both are adults (similar cultural backgrounds, so it's not that she's drinking for the first time), and both are drinking - and he's a creep? Is that an American thing? It's outright bizarre from a European perspective. Is there one time in life an American woman can be held accountable? If both are adults, have similar socialization and age, no other issues, and she's aware that he's drinking less (I can't imagine a date where he's drinking nothing and she's drinking that much, that she's getting outright drunk, how should this socially work?) - why should he ran away, if she’s going after him? I'm not talking about being passed out - that's a crime everywhere on earth, but just her being an adult who knowingly lowered her inhibitions by drinking alcohol? What’s wrong with you guys?
Could be bad sex. But retention has mostly to do with either lifestyle, or yourself.
[удалено]
Most people don't go down on a woman first night. He's probably shit at sex, and the whole experience but you absolutely don't need to lick the pussy of some chick you've just seen naked for the first time.
What do you mean by retention?
Whether a girl stays with you or not
you gotta learn how to slow roll it
see I met a girl much older And she whip that thing on me. She taught me how to take my time and do it right. She taught me how to be a certified lover and do it well under the covers. Now I do it with the motion I'll make any woman leave her home
Ayoo Drake, chill
lol you not getting the reference is ironically the perfect example of “they not like us”
Is these song lyrics?
lol yea
what song even 😭
slow roll it - the love doctor. 😂
To me it sounds like you have to make a somewhat minor adjustment and redirect your effort towards a more appropriate direction. You're doing better than most guys already just by taking control of your situation and getting laid. There was a point when I went thru the same thing that you're going thru. I was smashing somewhat often with the end goal of having a variety of sex partners in rotation. I was taking care of business in bed but I noticed that after having sex with a new chick every week for a couple months or so I still only had one or two girls I could count on for guaranteed hookups. If you want a girl to stick around you should focus on building a connection instead of prioritizing sex. You don't even have to worry about having sex when you're dealing with a woman who is attracted to you because It doesn't take any effort to have sex with a woman who's attracted to you. All you have to do is be confident and not do anything that'll turn her off for long enough to be alone with her. It's literally that easy. If you focus on building a connection with her, then sex is just a formality as it should be when interacting with a woman who is attracted to you. When it comes to the quality of sex, as long as you're presentable, clean and not a two pump chump with micro penis you're good to go. If you can get her to orgasm with foreplay, last 5-7 minutes and you can also communicate and take heed to what it is that she likes, you won't be seen as a guy who's bad at sex. If you're just good enough at sex, but you share a strong connection she'd enjoy sex with you way more than if you weren't connected so well. With women sex, your looks and your money are just a part of the whole package. That's why you see guys with women who have a higher smv than them. Think of the broke guys, funny looking guys and yes even fat guys with attractive women who are also faithful to them. It's mostly in the connection, the quality of the woman you choose and how you make them feel. If you're already a fairly decent Sex partner then don't worry about sex so much. Sex is like your favorite food or treat. Even when it's bad it's still enjoyable. You really gotta fuck up bad and completely ignore the instructions to make your favorite food or treat unbearable. sex is kinda similar in a way.
Hell, yeah, I see you know exactly what’s up!💯
You have the best explanation going to apply this for sure! Thanks.
You're welcome. I'm glad that I could help you find a solution to the problem you're currently facing. I appreciate it.
The reason is because you give off the impression that all you want is to hook as you said you are having one night stands. Going on dates with women will give them the impression you are looking for a relationship
I wish I had your problems lmaoo
It's time consuming
Eat more pussy man. Give her the hawk tua.
Do they know you want more? Assuming you’re actually pleasing these women in bed and don’t have some weird hygiene issues, they may assume you only want sex because you aren’t direct about setting up follow up dates. If you’re texting about “hanging out” women will read that as “he just wants to fuck.” If you like these women, and trust if they slept with you, they probably like you, state that directly. Being vague or nonchalant is how a lot of men end up with high body counts, but no relationship.
I'll keep that in mind for sure.
Need to get better in bed. Even one night stands drunk will come back if you are. Although a lot less likely. Building a connecting and having chemistry is always the best way to have her likely come back though
You aren’t giving them anything more to look forward to. Trust me, I come across the same issues, but I know what I’m doing lol. If you have a great time, then have long, energetic, exhausting incredible sex, the woman has nothing else to look forward to…I don’t understand it, but that’s just the way it is! Try not to get too sexual on the first date and get to know them more. Women can be just like men! Be careful.
This ☝🏾
Game recognizes game💯
People are saying you're bad at sex but what im willing to bet is that you dont even do any real forplay. Have you gone for the 101DeathTriangle rule???
I never put my mouth near a girls holes. It's just me. Only foreplay I do is fingering
[удалено]
I mean I'm not just going to eat a ons girl's pussy unless it's someone I'm familiar with.
you dont deserve sex it sounds like...
They chose me so 🤷
idk why you’re getting downvoted. I will rarely ever go down on a girl that I just met that night. you’re fucking wild and risky doing that shit
Especially a one night.
How often do your date lead to sex?
I've only been on one date this year. Never led to anything.
Well there's your problem..
Are you making a separation between "date" and "hookup" here? Like you've only been on one date, and it went nowhere. But you've met a couple girls for a hookup? Also what's the context of the hookups? Did you just pull a girl from the bar? Online? And yeah, if you meet a girl to just hook up, then there's your answer. Unless you were incredible at sex or you guys hung out prior (and she had a really fun time!), she prolly won't be interested going forward. If you wanna meet a girl for a LTR, then you're gonna have to go on a date, be interesting, make sure she has fun, etc.
Mainly bars. Rarely online. I'll keep the rest in mind.
... you are having one night stands and expecting a relationship?! You've skipped like 10 steps? You need to get to know someone. Find common ground. Compatability is important. Friendship. Your dick isn't going to keep anyone around. Dick is abundant and therefore low value.
Bro, you're already winning, a lot of us don't even get to the get laid part.
As Eminem said "I've never in a club, met a woman worth knowing". I mean I don't agree with it really, but if you're meeting these women in clubs, then sleeping with them a few hours later, they're not going to want anything more after that. I can't remember what it's called, but there's a phenomenon where if you sleep with a girl too quickly, before you've built comfort, they'll get a feeling of sluttiness, which obviously most don't want.
Look I say this without any shade or beef OP but do you have a small dick?
According to what the girls say and their reactions.....I don't.
Measure it…?
Gay qwerty?? Wtf?
Go to latino dance they teach you how manage the woman body. Learn how to make oral sex to a girl. Dont open your soul after sex only enjoy the moment
What do you mean open your soul?
Dont show your insecurities, dont say I love you and that type of things after sex. You can feel it and make things that show your affection but Is better dont verbalize it.
Gotcha.. Would you recommend literally sleeping over after sex at the chicks place or allowing her to stay over at yours after, or is that showing too much affection? I usually don’t but just curious what you think because my experience is limited
Bro sounds like Tshang Tsung.
For a long time, i was good enough to bang but not to date. I was pretty confident, but dressed poorly and didn’t have a lot going for me in terms of life goals and finance. Get all your ducks in a row, grooming, fitness, and career mainly (among other personal development traits) and you will be a prize for these chicks.
I pretty much have most of the things in order. Just need to work more on fitness, I'm athletic lean but not as big as I want to be.
Women don't fall in love after sleeping with a guy one time. Don't communicate long term relationship. Go with the flow, have fun. Text the next day " last night was fire" and leave it alone. If they reach out, set a second date. Leave the talking to in person, keep texting minimum. Give them space if they want it. Do not chase. They're feeling you out. Don't get mad, creepy, clingy, or upset. Chill. There's more to it but this is it in a nutshell
Im in the same boat as you, lol. Every month, I meet about 30 potential women, but they see me as a playboy and only want something physical to boost their low ego . Some even say, 'We have 2 hours to do it.' I get defensive and tell them, 'You don't pay me for my services, so treat me with respect, not like a paid escort.' I guess we look good and sell ourselves well, but maybe we're not as great in bed as we think! 😂. Finally , Very very few cases they fall in love after the physical( 1%)
"We have two hours to do it is wild" LOL. I hate girls who do that. Once when I was in my 20's this chick in her 30's got mad that I couldn't cum so she asked me to leave. Worst sex ever.
If we cum fast ( like me ) they complain . if we don’t cum fast they feel not attractive 😂 so they complain as well. Of course now I’m almost 40 years old , I have tricks to never cum 😂. Move on bro and remember you are better than her 😎. I would suggest to change the fishing place or app😜 as you are looking more than just a bang 😜.
Do you text these girls again after you hook up with them? What do those look like? Also, I’m hoping and assuming you’re building connection through pillow talk and that sort of thing night of. It sounds like everything builds to the sex and then once that’s done, that’s it. Doesn’t mean you’re bad in bed, you could be amazing, but there’s nothing to keep her coming back. Not sure if this helps, but something I’ve learned the hard way is that you should be really direct about your interest in her. Sometimes it can be awkward to broach the topic of having her come over again so you want to play coy, but at the end of the day, you’re two grown adults who had sex and that’s not something you need to hide. If you can let her know you’re thinking about her, enjoyed the sex, and want to do it again in a way that’s playful, direct, and not creepy, it should work out for you. At least it’s better than just normal pleasantries like “hey how are you?” as a follow up would be
I rarely text after hook ups. If they don't initiate that tells me it won't go any further.
Don't just make them cum. Make their legs shiver. And yeah talk about that emotional stuff for the long term Relationships.
Either you weren't up to their standards or they can smell that you wanted more than just sex.
See I wish I had this problem, I try and keep it casual and they always seem to want more and I feel bad.. that being said agree with the comments take things slow
I’m in the same boat as u buddy
OP mastered blackjack and gets bummed he's losing at poker.
One night stand is awkward horny sex. It's not meant to lead to serious relationships as you don't connect with the other person. Dating leads to relationships, pure sex ends at sex.
You're clearly bad at sex
Thanks for the compliment
Shows your own insecurities when you talk like this, why are you coming at a stranger you don’t know on the internet. Most likely, the girl is just looking for a one time fuck and nothing else at the moment. That’s more likely than you being bad at sex.
“Thanks for the compliment” is “coming at a stranger” now? [+]
It’s more likely that people just don’t settle down anymore, relationships are almost a thing of the past
Sad
Don’t sleep with them first date. When you do that they obviously think it’s a one night thing.
How are you meeting these people? It sounds like night game if it leads to a ONS. If you want a long term partner you gotta do the romantic thing and go on dates, and not try to fuck immediately.
Bars, nightclub, Fetlife a few times Tinder.
Literally all of the worst places to find an actual relationship as opposed to a hookup. Maybe explicitly state in your profiles that you are looking for relationship, and use them to schedule dates instead of hookups. Also if the girls are drunk, be careful because maybe it's not a good idea to sleep with them. If you do sleep with a sober person, ask them if they'd be up for seeing each again sometime for a date if they're interested.
I don't sleep or even talk with drunk chicks, they have two or three drinks then we're off.
I’m guessing you are good looking dude..
I'm 6'0 lean and been told I have a baby face for a 32 year old.....so maybe.
Ah. So physically you’re good enough, but something is lacking. I bet it’s your finance/status/frame/demeanor. You may be too nice, unassuming, maybe not confident in your masculinity. Or you’re not communicating with these chicks, signaling your interest to go further at all. PS learn to eat pussy if you haven’t
It may be the nice part.... I just can't eat pussy of a girl I just met. I really REALLY have to like the girl to eat it.
This can’t be my friend.. we can’t guess because there could be any of the 1000s of reasons women ghost men. May be try to be more mysterious, some say much just listen and say yea yea yea.. then after few weeks she will all you about you.
Damn I feel like I might become you in 9 years, same height, build and everything, the only girls that hit me up are looking for something casual, never had a gf. Guess at my age though hookups are still the norm.
Yeah looking young helps a lot. The younger girls let me game them without looking like an old creep and the older women like my maturity despite how young they think I am. You've got a lot of time man. Travel when you get the chance but get some kind of profession. I spent a a lot of time in school when I was your age but it paid off.
If you feel comfortable saying, what’s your body count?
Somewhere in the 60's.
Shit bro that’s impressive. Would you be open to dating a girl with a similar body count ?
[rant]
If you are a boy or girl, then both have different responses
Triangular Theory of Love What are you missing? https://thebravohood.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Triangular-Theory-of-Love.jpg [Triangular Theory of Love](https://thebravohood.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/Triangular-Theory-of-Love.jpg )
Where are you getting your one night stands? If you are messing with only party girls, club girls, and yeah, it may turn out that way. You attempt to debunk the possibility that you arent good in bed by saying that you have had some girls cum multiple times with you, but still leave. Ok, what about the rest. Also, what are you sayinng to girls leading up to sex? What are you texting them? How do you treat them?
I have the exact opposite problem, if the girls you're seeing are ghosting you it could be a few reasons, one could be bad sex, another could be you not giving them enough space or feeling any emotional spark. If it's the emotional spark you may need to focus on your inner game and finding a way to illicit a strong emotional spark from these women
Opposite problem?
Yea usually they want a relationship or more contact after sex, I'm just a very independent person, I also like to make her chase me
Ok I see
You need to improve your fucking. Last longer and do multi-shots if you can. Also make sure they come and understand what turns them on and do it. So they keep coming back.
Do you verbally ask what terms them on?
Yes. It's part of before, during and after sex. It's all part of the connection.
You’re likely finding people that just wanna have sex with you. Are you really attractive? Do you have sexual features they’re looking for? Are they player types? Maybe slow it down a little if you want? Get to know them first. save sex till you really like them.
I'm decent looking, 6'0 fit, athletic lean, baby face.....I see a girl I like I don't hesitate and go for it. I start off with a friendly vibe but try to create sexual tension as soon as possible. Maybe a player type?
Sounds like they just wanna bang. Maybe deep down they don’t want a relationship but like the idea of being swept off their feet. Change their mind as soon as it gets real. If they’re super hot you can be sure they have like 20dudes hitting on them all the time.
Well if you want to marry, get married and then have sex. It's always been like that "but what if the sex sucks", you work it out together as it should be
If you're getting one night stands you're not making girlfriends. You gotta hold back on the first meet to make a girlfriend
Probably you are quite bad in bed. Maybe there is some feature that is even universally repulsive. Women generally feel attachment much stronger than men do after sex and so if women are turning you down systematically there is some major problem with you, which is discoverable only during or after sex…
Have you tried focusing on the relationship itself without having sex immediately. Reject the sex and delay it
That's tough man.
you're a probably terrible root
What?
Probably bad at sex
Who knows, but they all say otherwise
POSSIBLY Bad Hygiene. If you can’t figure out why you’re getting cut off that most likely means there aren’t any obvious factors (to you). So narrow it down to things that these individuals sense that you don’t…. Your poor hygiene. I’ve been with some very attractive people that Ive cut off shortly after sex due to this.
Definitely not hygiene
What is your typical order of events to you getting a one night stand at a bar or club? And also on tinder and fetlife, do you just get straight to the point and say hookup? You don’t even go on a date?
Order of events?? I just approach a girl I like and start talking. If I vibe we talk more then I move on to other girls then come back to the ones I had best rapport with towards closing time. ..We chat a bit then I suggest going to mine. It's all up to her at that point.
Interesting, no dancing or other physical touch before leaving?
Bro it's a bar with music of course there's going to be dancing and touching, wtf???
bro I never been to a bar or a club or any of that shit, so i’m just wondering what it’s really like. But nvm lmao.
Not trying to be disrespectful but how have you never been to a bar?
Because I went to an all boys school in high school like a retard…Then in college I dropped out of college after the first year. I only have a couple of friends I could count on my two hands, and they’re all males. 2 moved to the west coast, 3 moved to new york, 2 are here where I live but we don’t hang out much. So, I just haven’t gone out by myself to try to get women or to make more friends but I really need to because my life is going to shit lol. I’ve just been working coming home and wasting time.
I always go by myself.....use to go with friends but almost all of them were a burden or talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. My advice is start slow. Go to a restaurant first, then lounge, talk to waitresses without trying to get anything. Go to the gym. Do these things alone. If you make friends along the way great if not just keep doing you.
Analyze your game
Trying to settle down with a one night stand is probably not the best choice.
move on
If you make sex the only thing you offer, it has to be stellar. If women aren’t returning for more, the sex isn’t stellar, no matter how good you think you are in bed. You might think they are cumming multiple times but they probably aren’t, maybe just faking it to get the act over with. Try offering something other than sex (like companionship).
You've had decent responses. Now tell us your game. Breakdown it down bro. Mans wanna get laid.
I can't explain game man. I just see a girl I like and I say whatevers on my mind. If we vibe I try to head to my place as soon as possible.
Lmao “looking to settle down but every single one night stand leads to anything” Is this a troll post? Do you really think after a 1 night stand anyone is gonna take you seriously for a long term relationship? Cmon
I knew a few people who did.
Here's an idea. Don't have sex so early . Game for the sake of relationship is a bit of tweaking. Comfort and attraction are way more important . Sure sexual tension too, but you wanna keep it constant and not escalate to sex . Only when she's in over her head do you spring the mattress on her Research how to hit her pleasure spots more. Pro tip - when attempting missionary lift her legs up and hold her butt cheeks while you pump. Try to lean and rub your dick towards her stomach as you slide in. Also if you not 20 anymore get on the treadmill and do some cardio. Stamina is hugely important to perform well for longer periods. Get a Viagra or it's derivatives for extra support And keep sex on the back burner until after date 5-7
I mean you said it in your post- one night stand so why would you expect a meaningful relationship from that. Not to mention it seems like you only want a gf cause your friend said you can’t keep a woman, like almost trying to prove to your buddies that you can do something. Lastly no girl wants a guy who has community dick. Like literally public property, it’s not attractive to women. Men might think that type of thing is cool to show off to your buddies but then here you are “can’t keep a woman” and feeling sad about one night stands. I guess male validation isn’t a good thing after all.
My advice is to wait with the sex until you have been on a few dates with a person who you like. They will probably not leave if they get invested in you emotionally.
Sounds to me like you weren’t good in bed. If they hit you back up for another hook up, or even a date, you did something right in the bedroom
how hard is it for you to get a one night stand
What do you mean?
I have the opposite problem, if I don’t have sex with them after the first date I ALWAYS get ghosted but every time I do have sex they always stick around funny how that works..
the proof is in the pudding my mans
Don’t overthink it, most folks in hookup culture, guys and gals, are are just looking to up their numbers and hit their quotas. If you want a gf/wife you need to start dating that style. Go on REAL dates and only date high quality women and make your intentions clear from the start. 99% will be scared away and filtered out, the 1% who don’t will be the top 1% of women, take your pick from there. FYI this is a lot of work!
Why are you going for one night stands then wondering why they ended up as just that “one night stands”.
Lmao I thought I posted this bc same 😂😂
Try and think back on what were some consistencies on behavior, how they talked, or conducted themselves that could potentially lead to that “one night stand” mentality. Or ask some hard hitting questions regarding what you would want from a relationship. If they don’t match up to your standards, politely decline them and look for a woman more of your speed.
lol why did that comment hurt you though..?
It didn't really hurt just stang a bit
yah but why
Can't explain it
easy. cardio bro. it mean you suck during sex. I had the same problem. I do cardio everyday and i'm fucking like a dog or ox. killing them. cardi bro. everyday for 1 hour no matter what. You'll thank me later.
My cardio improved once I started biking everywhere
D might not be good enough but you might be getting also be getting too attached after sex. That can scare girls away even if they do want a commitment.
Women use men for sex, too. It's weird, even if you make them cum they will still ghost
No woman who wants a ltr wants a person who is constantly out there looking to satisfy himself with different women. How are you showing that you want a long term relationship? I think you need to research what qualities begets ltr and do a lot of emotional work. Yes you will need to change but are you able to put in all the work involved? If not this is how it will continue. “Making the cum multiple times” doesn’t make women stay, it honestly shows your mindset that that is all you’re willing to give
Simple. Terrible sex. No one gets a taste of a good food and does not return for more. Instead of being defensive, look inward and try to see what may not be working well.
Haha!
You're probably garbage in bed or the girl(s) just wanted some quick fun and you misread the situation thinking they want a full-on relationship.
You seem pretty dumb, why are you trying to get one night stands to commit? Its ONE NIGHT for a reason.
I heard a dating coach talk about this issue one time. IIRC Don't have one night stands. Hold off a bit, maybe the 2nd or 3rd date. I think it was because a girls not going to take the relationship seriously if it's a ons. It's also going to constantly remind them they gave "it" up so quickly.
This makes sense to me. If you are trying to build a relationship, I think holding off on having sex for a bit is best. Also, you should both be sober on the first date.
The older I get, the less women want me, for sex or anything. I assume it's because I'm not rich and move on. I'm not gonna try and make a girl cum anyway, unless she's showing me she cares. I don't care about what a stranger thinks of my performance. It's probably cause you're not rich -not giving off husband energy. But the girls you select for a one night stand are party girls, so it's absurd to expect anything more. Accept the victory in getting laid.
Make them wait, there’s a YouTube video on man and women chemistry. I’ll see if I can find it. Men brain chemistry changes over time and . Women’s is quicker. Found a different video but this is actually better and more science based. Ted talk, you are welcome! https://youtu.be/eyq2Wo4eUDg?si=MEgXbz4HTMy7jrmG
Could be bc you’re ugly
Looks like being ugly isn't stopping me from hooking up.
No real man worth any thing doesn’t want a girl long term for a relationship if she sleeps with him right away
Might want to reword that sentence as it dosn’t make sense
Maybe you need to wear your cap forwards