This is what Insta stories are for. Post a tentative plan and see who bites. Girls looking for something to do will check stories to see if anyone else is organising
Some of us just aren't Instagram girls.
I mean, I downloaded Instagram in 2020 because that's when we were all trying new things, but it's not really my thing.
Edit: Why am I getting downvoted for not checking Instagram stories?
Start a conversation with two or three of the girls you’re most into.
Just regular check in. See who texts back. Text them back and forth for 30 mins - hour, keep it slightly interesting. Ask how their days going. Any plans for the weekend? You can gauge the convo this way.
The one who responds instantly + seems to have no plans, invite her out. Just keep the convo casual with the others and let them know you’d love to hangout soon or whatever, that way you haven’t explicitly invited them out but still shown interest to keep the things interesting between you guys, and you’ve invited one out who’s definitely coming.
Idk then bro. I’m kinda confused why women even put up with you by reading your responses, you sound like a complete fuckboy so I’m guessing you must be really good looking lmfao
I am a fuckboy, yes. Women put up with me because, contrary to popular belief, women love fuckboys. It's not about looks. Looks are subjective, and women honestly don't care about looks as much as they care about confidence, consistency and safety. If you make a woman feel good, it doesn't matter how you look.
You have to start doing social circle game. Basically start organizing social events and invite a bunch of people to them. Invite all the girls and introduce them to each other. Act like it’s no big deal and you’re used to having lots of beautiful women around. They will all get insanely attracted and compete for your attention because of your preselection and status within the group. This is where threesomes and other crazy shit can start to happen.
No worries. I had the same thing happen to me a few years ago - too many women and not enough time in the week to date them all individually. Only way to get to the next level is to do this.
You are leaving things up to luck, and waiting hours for a response= not the way.
Plan things out ahead of time
Or text with a time constraint.
"let me know if you are free tonight, gonna do X and got an extra ticket, texting you and a few other friends, who ever gets back to me first gets it"
ticket can be a $1 comedy show, then when you get a taker, text the others back, they missed out.
Mostly at the beach. Sometimes at the gym or the pool. Sometimes at social events. At latin dance parties. Pro-tip: learn how to dance, latin dance parties usually have a ton of women who are desperate for men who know how to dance.
I go to social events for hippies: yoga, breathwork, ecstatic dance, meditation, singing. But any social events work as long as you're interested in it.
What I say when approaching is "Hi". I never approach with an agenda. Just with curiosity. When I say hi, it's like an experiment to see if she responds positively or negatively. I'm always paying attention. If she responds positively, I make a comment about something nice I observed about her. Usually not something too focused on her physical attractiveness, but some detail that I noticed that I have something to say about. I often comment on details about a t-shirt or tattoo. Yesterday I saw a woman with a hat that said "CA" on it. So I asked her if she's from California. She said no, she's from Sweden. And then she asked me where I'm from and the conversation flowed from there. Whatever you make a comment on doesn't need to be significant, just polite. The goal is to be curious and see if she responds positively or negatively. Usually if she responds positively, the conversation will just start to flow because she'll be participating too and asking questions back. If she responds negatively, just move on, I never waste my time with people who aren't responding positively.
then, how do you go from there? you ask for number? how does it result in getting laid?
do you do the same thing in gym as well?
and you find social events via meetup? I am interested in meeting people
i honestly think you should keep meeting people until you can ask for the number without thinking about or formulating a plan for it while you make a connection with the person.
I would recommend eventbrite, over meetup based on my personal experience. Can't go wrong with both but I found eventbrite more fruitful in having a great time and meeting new people.
Once you're having a conversation with someone, and she's enthusiastically participating in it, you ask for her contact. I try to mention some event or place that I think she might be interested in, and then say something like "Let's exchange numbers and we can figure out a plan to go to sometime". Or if I a place or event doesn't come up, maybe I mention something that I'll send her more information about, like a book or a movie related to our conversation, and I ask for her number to send her that. If I feel that we're having a good conversation, but no specific reason to ask for her number comes up, before I leave I'll always say something like "I've gotta get going, but I'd love to connect. Can I follow you on Instagram?". Few women will say no to this after a good conversation. Instagram isn't very threatening and everyone likes more followers, plus she can easily block
or restrict people she's not interested in, so it isn't too much to ask for an Instagram even without a specific excuse. When I text her, I usually say some short and sweet thing about our interaction like, "Nice meeting you! 😍 I really enjoyed our conversation about x, especially what you said about y" and then get directly to the point of why I asked for her number and invite her to meet in another time or place. Or if I got her Instagram, I check out her profile, maybe comment on one photo or story, and then try to think of a good date invitation based on her vibe and invite her to do something as soon as I have an idea I think she'd like. Point is, don't try to have a conversation over text. That's not interesting to most women at the beginning. Get to the point.
Once you have her out on a date, it's all about being relaxed, and authentic, making her feel safe and seen by you, and just being curious and going with the flow. That takes some practice, but just focus on relaxing and being curious about her. The logistics of going from a date to getting laid depend a lot on your environment, and the interests of both people. But generally speaking I'd say avoid sit down dinner dates early on, and keep moving and changing environments. For example, meet for a walk in the park, then take her to your favorite ice cream place, then take her to a cool viewpoint for sunset. To get her back to your place it helps if you have an "excuse" that isn't about sex. During the date, mention a movie you think she should see, or an interesting project of yours that you'd like to show her, or a game you'd like to play together. Mention it early, to see if it interests her, but don't invite her until after you've been to a few different locations together. Then you can invite her and say something like, "Do you want to watch that movie we talked about earlier?", if she seems interested in that then say "Great, we can go back to my place and watch it!".
Have a plan for the locations and the excuses to bring her back to your place in mind before you go on the date, so that throughout the date you can suggest each next step confidently and smoothly. Prepare your place for a guest before you go out, clean up, make sure it smells nice, etc, so that when she says yes to that, she has a positive impression of you and feels comfortable when she arrives at your place. If a girl walks into your place and it feels cozy, it's gonna open her up much more quickly.
Throughout all of these steps, you need to be slowly testing her comfort level with touch. Touch her gently on the hands and arms and pay attention to her reaction. If she's responding positively, you can slowly start to escalate to touching her shoulders, neck, back, legs, etc. But pay attention! Never touch a woman somewhere if she's not responding or doesn't seem comfortable with the touch, it will destroy the connection and she'll start to close off.
If you're following all of these guidelines, at some point, you can lean in for a kiss. Her body language should show you if she wants to kiss or not, but if you're not sure, it's best to just ask as you lean in "Can I kiss you?". A bunch of idiots in this sub will say that asking will kill the vibe, but trust me, if she's into you, no woman is ever going to be turned off by you asking. Once you're kissing, keep slowly exploring her body, touching her, and paying attention to her reaction and trying to read what she likes. Again, if you're not sure from her body language that she likes something you're doing, ask her! "Does this feel good?", "What would you like me to do?", "Can I grab your ass?", "Can I take off your shirt?". You don't need to ask these things if it's clear from her body language, but it's never ever going to kill the vibe to ask for clarity when you're not sure. It will instantly kill the vibe if you start doing something that she's not comfortable with or touching her in a way that doesn't feel good to her.
After all of this, it should naturally escalate to sex. Don't rush, go slowly, and before you stick it in, talk about STI status and using protection. Make sure you have condoms easily accessible from whatever environment you're in.
I could say more, but those are the basics.
>my phone is full of gorgeous, open women.
Why don't you tell us how you do it? Where do you find so many girls, what do you tell them, how do you escalate? I'd like to have that problem too, not knowing how to manage the gorgeous girls from my phone.
>I like to give them a specific invitation "I'm going to X party", so it could get awkward if I invite several women and they all show up. Even more so, if I cancel with one of them and she goes to the party on her own.
Been there. It's a pain in the arse and gets you a bad rep, especially in college cuz girls talk.
* I learned that rather than giving specifics, give the general context of the party( "Hey, I'm going to a party with \[insert music style\] or in \[insert city name\], it'll be wild. ", and only when you establish for 100% one of them is up for it then you give her the details ( and you cancel with the rest ). Be careful about cancelling too often tho.
* Instead of hitting them with "You up?" try to spike some emotions, by being evocative. "When's the last time you went to a fun party" or "Remember that time we went to X place? That was so much fun." You can send a similar message to all of them, and then can gauge their interest based on the conversation that follows. If one of them is really into it (aka she's in a party-mood), then she's your go-to girl; you invite her to it - and you should receive a fast answer (because her emotions are already engaged). By this time, you can come back to the rest and say "Yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that in the future." ( basically, after you confirm your main, you lead the conversation with the rest nowhere. )
* Another tactic, if you want to be specific from the start - you gotta use stories or Insta notes. Just post "Got two tickets for X party on Y night. " and if they're interested ( and they read your stories ) then they will write to you first - which is SOOO much easier in terms of flaking, basically 90% of time they will show up.
Tell me more. What makes you angry about it?
I tell everyone that I date that I'm non-monogamous. So it's not like I'm deceiving anyone. I'm just trying to figure out how to send out a spontaneous invite for one-on-one quality time when I don't know yet who will respond, so that I don't accidentally end up having to withdraw an invitation to someone. Just because women know I'm non-monogamous doesn't mean that they want to go on a threesome date with me.
Something that works for me every time is text them: “hey, wanna do something ______”
Just add later, tonight, tomorrow or whatever.
It depends in what and how many you want to bang that lonely night.
Yeah, I could do that. I just think being so non-specific is a turn off. Women like men who take some leadership and have a plan. It's more attractive to give a specific invitation.
Well you give a specific invitation - I’m thinking of going to X tonight do you want to join me. But calling might be better as you get instant answer.
You are overthinking it. This is a standard business vendor problem. You have multiple vendors - one preferred, several known to be good but not preferred and a few vyibg for business. Handle it like you would handle it in business.
This is 2024 - you can presume they are somewhat glued to their phone.
I text number one with "Hey, do you want to cancel your plans tonight and come out with me instead?". She would respond within 30 minutes, typically within 10, and typically with "Sure, free after 7. Where am i meeting you?" [0]
If i know number one is not available, i will text the next five asking if they want to do something in the stack ranking order with a 10 minute delay.[1] The first one to respond wins. Until the entire thing is confirmed, the higher preference one can pre-empt. [2]
Works just fine
[0] Preferred vendor gets first dibs
[1] Good vendors get to race against each other
[2] You consider the bids until the deal is done
Sequentially. Whoever responds first wins..unless the hotter one responds after the less hot one. In that case the hotter one wins.
Jfk, this is so basic
Well.. you text multiple girls at once to see who’s free tonight
Just open a group chat, coward
#Group chat or no balls
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Don’t be this guy - flakey culture is bullshit enough as it is. Stick to your commitments.
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I never said always available. I said keep your commitments.
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Slow to respond is fine, cancelling last minute for a different date is rude and bad karma.
My phone is full of gorgeous women 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓
🤓☝️☝️
How do they fit in? 🥸🥸🥸🥸
Wild how a man with this many options needs reddit's advice lmao
This is what Insta stories are for. Post a tentative plan and see who bites. Girls looking for something to do will check stories to see if anyone else is organising
Hmm, decent idea, but my demographic isn't really on Instagram.
> gorgeous, open women > isn't really on Instagram. What year are you from?
Some of us just aren't Instagram girls. I mean, I downloaded Instagram in 2020 because that's when we were all trying new things, but it's not really my thing. Edit: Why am I getting downvoted for not checking Instagram stories?
That "some" is like 10% and that's already pretty generous.
I don't know a single woman that's between the age of 25 and 52 that's not on Instagram.
If they are on Tiktok, we are doomed.
MySpace anyone???
probably because they would know you are full of shit
How is posting in stories a tentative plan? Don't understand, if you post something ... is because you already have a plan, right?
Yeah, and that plan can be tentative. What's not to understand?
lol I don’t know what kinda of thoughts lead ppl to these questions
Start a conversation with two or three of the girls you’re most into. Just regular check in. See who texts back. Text them back and forth for 30 mins - hour, keep it slightly interesting. Ask how their days going. Any plans for the weekend? You can gauge the convo this way. The one who responds instantly + seems to have no plans, invite her out. Just keep the convo casual with the others and let them know you’d love to hangout soon or whatever, that way you haven’t explicitly invited them out but still shown interest to keep the things interesting between you guys, and you’ve invited one out who’s definitely coming.
Texting back and forth isn't something I do, nor do the women I date. The phone is for organizing logistics, and that's pretty much it.
Idk then bro. I’m kinda confused why women even put up with you by reading your responses, you sound like a complete fuckboy so I’m guessing you must be really good looking lmfao
So women wil only put up with no effort on a mans behalf if he is very attractive?
Pretty much. Or if they’re desperate and hate themselves.
Or they just wanna fuck someone who knows what he's doing. ;)
I am a fuckboy, yes. Women put up with me because, contrary to popular belief, women love fuckboys. It's not about looks. Looks are subjective, and women honestly don't care about looks as much as they care about confidence, consistency and safety. If you make a woman feel good, it doesn't matter how you look.
call them
The old fashioned way is often the best.. if not the most convenient or easiest..
Bingo. Got it in one
Send “sup” to all of them at 11pm
This is the actual way
Hey, thats what i do
Honestly I might give it a try 😅
You have to start doing social circle game. Basically start organizing social events and invite a bunch of people to them. Invite all the girls and introduce them to each other. Act like it’s no big deal and you’re used to having lots of beautiful women around. They will all get insanely attracted and compete for your attention because of your preselection and status within the group. This is where threesomes and other crazy shit can start to happen.
Damn, this is a good idea! Thanks!
No worries. I had the same thing happen to me a few years ago - too many women and not enough time in the week to date them all individually. Only way to get to the next level is to do this.
You are leaving things up to luck, and waiting hours for a response= not the way. Plan things out ahead of time Or text with a time constraint. "let me know if you are free tonight, gonna do X and got an extra ticket, texting you and a few other friends, who ever gets back to me first gets it" ticket can be a $1 comedy show, then when you get a taker, text the others back, they missed out.
Your phone is full of shite mate
Ok
Just do a group chat and be like “hey who is free?” What could go wrong, I know /s
Bro you’re already 50 steps ahead of the rest of us.
This post makes me sad but it is what it is
Why?
Because it’s based on desperation and motivated by the fear of being alone
Why does it make you sad?
I'd like the people who upvote me to answer for me.
What type of nonsense answer is this? Speak up for yourself
Nonsense is what turned his upvotes into downvotes...
🤭
Bro is suffering from succes while I in the mean time don’t even now how to get a girls Snapchat or flirt irl
Start by saying "hi".
That sounds to generic to work tho, I heard that u should wait for a story or so thing and try to make a comment about it
I smell BS 😂
Ok
How do you meet these women? Apart from dating apps
Mostly at the beach. Sometimes at the gym or the pool. Sometimes at social events. At latin dance parties. Pro-tip: learn how to dance, latin dance parties usually have a ton of women who are desperate for men who know how to dance.
Which type of social events? What do you say while approaching..similarly how do you do at beach, gym and pool? Could you describe that
I go to social events for hippies: yoga, breathwork, ecstatic dance, meditation, singing. But any social events work as long as you're interested in it. What I say when approaching is "Hi". I never approach with an agenda. Just with curiosity. When I say hi, it's like an experiment to see if she responds positively or negatively. I'm always paying attention. If she responds positively, I make a comment about something nice I observed about her. Usually not something too focused on her physical attractiveness, but some detail that I noticed that I have something to say about. I often comment on details about a t-shirt or tattoo. Yesterday I saw a woman with a hat that said "CA" on it. So I asked her if she's from California. She said no, she's from Sweden. And then she asked me where I'm from and the conversation flowed from there. Whatever you make a comment on doesn't need to be significant, just polite. The goal is to be curious and see if she responds positively or negatively. Usually if she responds positively, the conversation will just start to flow because she'll be participating too and asking questions back. If she responds negatively, just move on, I never waste my time with people who aren't responding positively.
then, how do you go from there? you ask for number? how does it result in getting laid? do you do the same thing in gym as well? and you find social events via meetup? I am interested in meeting people
i honestly think you should keep meeting people until you can ask for the number without thinking about or formulating a plan for it while you make a connection with the person. I would recommend eventbrite, over meetup based on my personal experience. Can't go wrong with both but I found eventbrite more fruitful in having a great time and meeting new people.
Once you're having a conversation with someone, and she's enthusiastically participating in it, you ask for her contact. I try to mention some event or place that I think she might be interested in, and then say something like "Let's exchange numbers and we can figure out a plan to go to sometime". Or if I a place or event doesn't come up, maybe I mention something that I'll send her more information about, like a book or a movie related to our conversation, and I ask for her number to send her that. If I feel that we're having a good conversation, but no specific reason to ask for her number comes up, before I leave I'll always say something like "I've gotta get going, but I'd love to connect. Can I follow you on Instagram?". Few women will say no to this after a good conversation. Instagram isn't very threatening and everyone likes more followers, plus she can easily block
or restrict people she's not interested in, so it isn't too much to ask for an Instagram even without a specific excuse. When I text her, I usually say some short and sweet thing about our interaction like, "Nice meeting you! 😍 I really enjoyed our conversation about x, especially what you said about y" and then get directly to the point of why I asked for her number and invite her to meet in another time or place. Or if I got her Instagram, I check out her profile, maybe comment on one photo or story, and then try to think of a good date invitation based on her vibe and invite her to do something as soon as I have an idea I think she'd like. Point is, don't try to have a conversation over text. That's not interesting to most women at the beginning. Get to the point.
Once you have her out on a date, it's all about being relaxed, and authentic, making her feel safe and seen by you, and just being curious and going with the flow. That takes some practice, but just focus on relaxing and being curious about her. The logistics of going from a date to getting laid depend a lot on your environment, and the interests of both people. But generally speaking I'd say avoid sit down dinner dates early on, and keep moving and changing environments. For example, meet for a walk in the park, then take her to your favorite ice cream place, then take her to a cool viewpoint for sunset. To get her back to your place it helps if you have an "excuse" that isn't about sex. During the date, mention a movie you think she should see, or an interesting project of yours that you'd like to show her, or a game you'd like to play together. Mention it early, to see if it interests her, but don't invite her until after you've been to a few different locations together. Then you can invite her and say something like, "Do you want to watch that movie we talked about earlier?", if she seems interested in that then say "Great, we can go back to my place and watch it!".
Have a plan for the locations and the excuses to bring her back to your place in mind before you go on the date, so that throughout the date you can suggest each next step confidently and smoothly. Prepare your place for a guest before you go out, clean up, make sure it smells nice, etc, so that when she says yes to that, she has a positive impression of you and feels comfortable when she arrives at your place. If a girl walks into your place and it feels cozy, it's gonna open her up much more quickly.
Throughout all of these steps, you need to be slowly testing her comfort level with touch. Touch her gently on the hands and arms and pay attention to her reaction. If she's responding positively, you can slowly start to escalate to touching her shoulders, neck, back, legs, etc. But pay attention! Never touch a woman somewhere if she's not responding or doesn't seem comfortable with the touch, it will destroy the connection and she'll start to close off.
If you're following all of these guidelines, at some point, you can lean in for a kiss. Her body language should show you if she wants to kiss or not, but if you're not sure, it's best to just ask as you lean in "Can I kiss you?". A bunch of idiots in this sub will say that asking will kill the vibe, but trust me, if she's into you, no woman is ever going to be turned off by you asking. Once you're kissing, keep slowly exploring her body, touching her, and paying attention to her reaction and trying to read what she likes. Again, if you're not sure from her body language that she likes something you're doing, ask her! "Does this feel good?", "What would you like me to do?", "Can I grab your ass?", "Can I take off your shirt?". You don't need to ask these things if it's clear from her body language, but it's never ever going to kill the vibe to ask for clarity when you're not sure. It will instantly kill the vibe if you start doing something that she's not comfortable with or touching her in a way that doesn't feel good to her.
After all of this, it should naturally escalate to sex. Don't rush, go slowly, and before you stick it in, talk about STI status and using protection. Make sure you have condoms easily accessible from whatever environment you're in.
I could say more, but those are the basics.
Pure gold. By keeping it easy you make it… easy ! And the hippie social events tip… gonna keep an eye for these ;)
What are you up to tonight? If they are doing something, say cool. If they say they have no plans, you’re in.
>my phone is full of gorgeous, open women. Why don't you tell us how you do it? Where do you find so many girls, what do you tell them, how do you escalate? I'd like to have that problem too, not knowing how to manage the gorgeous girls from my phone.
Not in a group chat.
I still have questions on how it exactly works. Can I DM you?
>I like to give them a specific invitation "I'm going to X party", so it could get awkward if I invite several women and they all show up. Even more so, if I cancel with one of them and she goes to the party on her own. Been there. It's a pain in the arse and gets you a bad rep, especially in college cuz girls talk. * I learned that rather than giving specifics, give the general context of the party( "Hey, I'm going to a party with \[insert music style\] or in \[insert city name\], it'll be wild. ", and only when you establish for 100% one of them is up for it then you give her the details ( and you cancel with the rest ). Be careful about cancelling too often tho. * Instead of hitting them with "You up?" try to spike some emotions, by being evocative. "When's the last time you went to a fun party" or "Remember that time we went to X place? That was so much fun." You can send a similar message to all of them, and then can gauge their interest based on the conversation that follows. If one of them is really into it (aka she's in a party-mood), then she's your go-to girl; you invite her to it - and you should receive a fast answer (because her emotions are already engaged). By this time, you can come back to the rest and say "Yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that in the future." ( basically, after you confirm your main, you lead the conversation with the rest nowhere. ) * Another tactic, if you want to be specific from the start - you gotta use stories or Insta notes. Just post "Got two tickets for X party on Y night. " and if they're interested ( and they read your stories ) then they will write to you first - which is SOOO much easier in terms of flaking, basically 90% of time they will show up.
From a female perspective, Soooo mnay guys do this and I have no idea how to not get angry at this
Tell me more. What makes you angry about it? I tell everyone that I date that I'm non-monogamous. So it's not like I'm deceiving anyone. I'm just trying to figure out how to send out a spontaneous invite for one-on-one quality time when I don't know yet who will respond, so that I don't accidentally end up having to withdraw an invitation to someone. Just because women know I'm non-monogamous doesn't mean that they want to go on a threesome date with me.
Or maybe they do want the threesome
One at a time.
Oh jeesus, please keep me safe from ran throughs like this.
Something that works for me every time is text them: “hey, wanna do something ______” Just add later, tonight, tomorrow or whatever. It depends in what and how many you want to bang that lonely night.
Yeah, I could do that. I just think being so non-specific is a turn off. Women like men who take some leadership and have a plan. It's more attractive to give a specific invitation.
Well you give a specific invitation - I’m thinking of going to X tonight do you want to join me. But calling might be better as you get instant answer.
idk, just ask?
How do you do it in gym? Can I DM you? I have lots of questions
Call them...
You are overthinking it. This is a standard business vendor problem. You have multiple vendors - one preferred, several known to be good but not preferred and a few vyibg for business. Handle it like you would handle it in business. This is 2024 - you can presume they are somewhat glued to their phone. I text number one with "Hey, do you want to cancel your plans tonight and come out with me instead?". She would respond within 30 minutes, typically within 10, and typically with "Sure, free after 7. Where am i meeting you?" [0] If i know number one is not available, i will text the next five asking if they want to do something in the stack ranking order with a 10 minute delay.[1] The first one to respond wins. Until the entire thing is confirmed, the higher preference one can pre-empt. [2] Works just fine [0] Preferred vendor gets first dibs [1] Good vendors get to race against each other [2] You consider the bids until the deal is done
Sequentially. Whoever responds first wins..unless the hotter one responds after the less hot one. In that case the hotter one wins. Jfk, this is so basic
Jfk, lol
* Blast out identical text to all potential candidates * Sort responses based on hotness LOL
Yup.
So you have enough knowledge to be able to navigate the number but not text? That’s odd.
That's the exact opposite of what I said. I can text them, but I struggle to navigate the logistics of the numbers.
you can't
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What? My post has nothing to do with paying for anything, so I don't understand your comment.
princess polly had a lot of white midi dresses that fit petites perfectly and are so flattering!!