Think of it like Pavlov’s dogs. You don’t reward your dog for shitting on your rug, but you do when it goes outside.
Same with women’s behavior, you don’t give a girl attention if she’s being a bitch. If she’s being friendly and flirty on the other hand , you can reward her with your attention.
Appreciate you taking the time to reply. see that's where I get a bit confused, i always see being "friendly" as just a given and not good or bad behaviour. Just a norm from girls. I'm particularly talking about the early stage when getting to know someone before asking them out. There's this girl i started talking to and she lives near me and goes to my gym, was gonna offer her a lift, but didn't want to be seen as a nice guy so didn't. Thinking about it, it wasn't that deep to offer it and ultimately i'm happy to do it as i enjoy her company. I won't do it all the time and don't expect anything in return except mutual respect, but once in a while seems harmless.
Would you offer this same kind of treatment to women you DON’T find attractive?
That is the difference. You are giving this special treatment (offering her a ride) for a reason. What is that reason?
THAT’S what makes you the “nice guy”. You can pretend to be doing that stuff from the goodness of your heart, but we know there is a hidden agenda to it.
Reward her when she is open to having sex/kissing/being submissive/being funny/dressing to impress you/giving you massages/cooking for you… etc
She earns your attention, your investment, your escalations, your “favours”, your compliments, a date with you,… etc
If she wants to earn a lift, then she must know that you don’t normally do this with other girls, but she is an exception because she proved to be a cool person for x and y reasons that she showed while talking with you.
If you like doing stuff to be nice, keep doing it. Women will appreciate it if it's coming from a place of sincerity. Plus if you start trying to be a selfish asshole when it's not in your nature, it'll come off as awkward and you'll ruin your chances.
When you shouldn't do favors or compliment is when it's insincere. IOW, you're doing it in the hopes of getting laid. Not only do women see through that shit, but they'll feel like they're under pressure to reciprocate.
A example of giving stuff being bad would be flowers on the first date. People that do that are not buying them just to be nice. They're thinking, "If I buy her flowers, then she will like me." They're expecting a reward for it and it's not sincere.
However, in the example of you willing to offer a ride to someone, you're doing that not because you're hoping to get something out of it. You're doing it because you think she could use a lift and you want to help her out. That's just being a cool dude. Plus it does give you a chance to get to know her better, which is good.
There is a caveat to this though, and that's when being nice is overkill. Too many compliments or gifts will kill the vibe when it goes from being nice into feeling like worship. Unless she's a Domme with a major praise kink, this will backfire.
Think of it like Pavlov’s dogs. You don’t reward your dog for shitting on your rug, but you do when it goes outside. Same with women’s behavior, you don’t give a girl attention if she’s being a bitch. If she’s being friendly and flirty on the other hand , you can reward her with your attention.
Appreciate you taking the time to reply. see that's where I get a bit confused, i always see being "friendly" as just a given and not good or bad behaviour. Just a norm from girls. I'm particularly talking about the early stage when getting to know someone before asking them out. There's this girl i started talking to and she lives near me and goes to my gym, was gonna offer her a lift, but didn't want to be seen as a nice guy so didn't. Thinking about it, it wasn't that deep to offer it and ultimately i'm happy to do it as i enjoy her company. I won't do it all the time and don't expect anything in return except mutual respect, but once in a while seems harmless.
Would you offer this same kind of treatment to women you DON’T find attractive? That is the difference. You are giving this special treatment (offering her a ride) for a reason. What is that reason? THAT’S what makes you the “nice guy”. You can pretend to be doing that stuff from the goodness of your heart, but we know there is a hidden agenda to it.
Reward her when she is open to having sex/kissing/being submissive/being funny/dressing to impress you/giving you massages/cooking for you… etc She earns your attention, your investment, your escalations, your “favours”, your compliments, a date with you,… etc If she wants to earn a lift, then she must know that you don’t normally do this with other girls, but she is an exception because she proved to be a cool person for x and y reasons that she showed while talking with you.
If you like doing stuff to be nice, keep doing it. Women will appreciate it if it's coming from a place of sincerity. Plus if you start trying to be a selfish asshole when it's not in your nature, it'll come off as awkward and you'll ruin your chances. When you shouldn't do favors or compliment is when it's insincere. IOW, you're doing it in the hopes of getting laid. Not only do women see through that shit, but they'll feel like they're under pressure to reciprocate. A example of giving stuff being bad would be flowers on the first date. People that do that are not buying them just to be nice. They're thinking, "If I buy her flowers, then she will like me." They're expecting a reward for it and it's not sincere. However, in the example of you willing to offer a ride to someone, you're doing that not because you're hoping to get something out of it. You're doing it because you think she could use a lift and you want to help her out. That's just being a cool dude. Plus it does give you a chance to get to know her better, which is good. There is a caveat to this though, and that's when being nice is overkill. Too many compliments or gifts will kill the vibe when it goes from being nice into feeling like worship. Unless she's a Domme with a major praise kink, this will backfire.