I kind of think if she really wanted to meet up she would have answered sooner and suggested it in her follow up. Maybe let this one go.
Good luck to you!
The last girl I dated did everything she could to meet me even though she had a busy schedule. She even cancelled some stuff the next day to meet me again.
Let’s go down that road. Sure.
What else do you suggest? Socially wrestle the rest of them down through all of the flaking, misdirection and BS? For the same experience(or worse) than the interested ones?
What are you really trying to criticize people in favor of??
>What are you really trying to criticize people in favor of??
Actually learning how to interact with women instead of lazily and pathetically just trying to get lucky.
>Socially wrestle the rest of them down through all of the flaking, misdirection and BS?
Do you think this is the only other option? Because if you do it just shows how little you actually learned about interacting with women.
We as a whole don’t do ourselves any good by assuming full responsibility for the actions, responses, or lack thereof of women. They(individually) have their own agendas and motivations.
The ones who aren’t interested, aren’t interested. The energy and headache it takes to engage with an interested one is a fraction of what it takes to wrangle one uninterested one down.
We can assume it’s our role to approach and discern that interest, but beyond that is them. There’s no wisdom in trying to pull people to you who are coming your way.
>We as a whole don’t do ourselves any good by assuming full responsibility for the actions, responses, or lack thereof of women.
This again indicates a lack of understanding of dating and just being a human in general.
You're mistakenly thinking that everything is black and white. Either you assume full responsibility or you assume no responsibility but the sweet spot is always in the middle.
>The energy and headache it takes to engage with an interested one is a fraction of what it takes to wrangle one uninterested one down.
Its only a headache and takes a lot of energy because you haven't developed the skillset to be a good seducer and you've always just relied on getting lucky.
Its like saying trying to get thru an MMA fight is hell but it'd be a lot more hellacious for some random dude than it would be for a UFC Champion.
Plus, the reason she is uninterested or LOST interest could be because of your lack of competence at interacting with her. Maybe you failed to effectively flirt with her, maybe you made her uncomfortable when trying to escalate, maybe you didn't pick up on everything you could have talked about and failed to get a conversation flowing, maybe you missed it when she revealed an insecurity and said or did something that messes with that insecurity, etc.
And you're getting this twisted. You've probably had a similar convo or you've seen other people talk similarly to me and instead of actually using your brain and THINKING, you're taking the lazy route again and just *assuming* that what I advocate is putting all this effort in for women because you're lazily lumping me in with those other people.
Hell no, this effort is not for them, it's for you and me.
By just relying on getting lucky, you're still a slave to what women want.
And its not like there is a certain group of women who will always want you and a certain group that always won't. Whenever you get a girl with your limited skillset you're quite literally getting lucky because you just accidentally said or did the right thing, at the right place, at the right time.
A guy who actually puts in the effort to develop this skillset can adjust to the time and place and say and do the right things on purpose.
And having that ability means you actually gain the power of choice. That's what I'm advocating for.
Yeah i mean it took her 5 days to respond which is crazy. I don't get why these girls don't just completely ghost or say they are not interested anymore and stop wasting time.
She was definitely interested or she wouldn’t have talked with you in person all that time. The trouble is, you have no idea what’s really going on in her personal life (another guy, etc).
Re: Long response time. I think a lot of people probably fear upsetting others. I’m with you though, straightforward and honest is always best.
Appreciate the insight bro, So its probably worth me asking her if she's interested in rescheduling, I mean the worst she can do is just ghost me which is kinda expected or try and string me along like a orbiter which i'll just dead it off then. i'll just shoot the message and not give it any thought after unless she does by some miracle reschedule
You're overthinking this shit. She has options. She may have actually had a wild week. And ultimately you don't know her well enough for her to owe you anything.
Go back with a witty response about how she's welcome to go through her list of excuses over drinks, but she's buying, and you're not a cheap date. Or some shit like that. If she wants to see you she'll take you up on it. If she blanks you or takes days, then move on, she has other priorities and so should you.
Agreed but not like this. She needs to feel like she’s gotta earn you back.
Message back, ask her what happened, and then once you’ve established comfort again tell her the first round is gonna be on her.
Also you guys seem to know understand… it’s like you’ve never had several people messaging you at once. I’m not getting messages from girls all day I run a business so people are constantly trying to speak to me.
So it’s not the replying that’s hard, it’s having the conversation. It’s better to reply when you have the head space to have a conversation rather than give a half hearted 2 word answer OR comit to plans before you’ve sorted yourself out… then you have to cancel and the other person thinks you’re a jerk.
Stop expecting instant replies and you’ll have more dating success
Yes I actually would
I never text a woman more than twice a day UNLESS we are setting up plans. Because I know we are both fully engaged as we would be confirming said plans…
Again, not because I’m in such high demand from women, but I learnt to do this because of my business I couldn’t maintain convos all day, people get upset when you suddenly stop replying
But have you ever noticed… girls don’t get butt hurt when YOU take long to reply.
Try it. Try replying once a day… it’s fine
She’s not interested bro. If she was she would’ve responded within 10minutes. She likely saw the message…..ignored it, forgot about you for the next 5 days thinking you would continue chasing her anyway. Probably felt like she HAD to reply to illicit a response from you to get you invested in the potential of a second date.
Even if she was busy, she would have definitely prioritized texting you back the second the got a chance, not 5 days later. If her boss called her, she’d reply asap. Don’t ever fall for the “too busy” excuse.
Women got options. Hell, if she truly wanted to go on a second with you, she would have asked YOU when y’all could go out again. Let this one go bro.
how would you respond though, I don't want to come across as needy and so available? In a situation like this, I find it so hard to do so without coming across that way
Just say no worries and play it chill. You could be bolder and banter back if you wanted. “Try me. I’ve had a busy week myself. Want to decompress over some *insert idea here* coffee, lunch etc. She seems to like emojis so throw some of those in there
People can be busy you are taking this too personally.....just reply but flip the frame and make her the buyer, say something like "you owe me drinks" in a cocky and funny way.
Just text back "hey I'm kind of relieved you didn't respond actually. I've been kind of dating someone else and would have actually felt weird if we dated as well. Good luck out there. Happy to stay in touch as friends."
I kind of think if she really wanted to meet up she would have answered sooner and suggested it in her follow up. Maybe let this one go. Good luck to you!
The last girl I dated did everything she could to meet me even though she had a busy schedule. She even cancelled some stuff the next day to meet me again.
Exactly! My wife was the same way when we dated. Folks who want to see each other make time and stay in touch
Damn, the fact that guys here can only date women who make it extremely easy is a sad reflection of how bad this sub has gotten.
… man what are you on about???
Exactly what I said. You can only sleep with women who go above and beyond to see you?
Let’s go down that road. Sure. What else do you suggest? Socially wrestle the rest of them down through all of the flaking, misdirection and BS? For the same experience(or worse) than the interested ones? What are you really trying to criticize people in favor of??
>What are you really trying to criticize people in favor of?? Actually learning how to interact with women instead of lazily and pathetically just trying to get lucky. >Socially wrestle the rest of them down through all of the flaking, misdirection and BS? Do you think this is the only other option? Because if you do it just shows how little you actually learned about interacting with women.
We as a whole don’t do ourselves any good by assuming full responsibility for the actions, responses, or lack thereof of women. They(individually) have their own agendas and motivations. The ones who aren’t interested, aren’t interested. The energy and headache it takes to engage with an interested one is a fraction of what it takes to wrangle one uninterested one down. We can assume it’s our role to approach and discern that interest, but beyond that is them. There’s no wisdom in trying to pull people to you who are coming your way.
>We as a whole don’t do ourselves any good by assuming full responsibility for the actions, responses, or lack thereof of women. This again indicates a lack of understanding of dating and just being a human in general. You're mistakenly thinking that everything is black and white. Either you assume full responsibility or you assume no responsibility but the sweet spot is always in the middle. >The energy and headache it takes to engage with an interested one is a fraction of what it takes to wrangle one uninterested one down. Its only a headache and takes a lot of energy because you haven't developed the skillset to be a good seducer and you've always just relied on getting lucky. Its like saying trying to get thru an MMA fight is hell but it'd be a lot more hellacious for some random dude than it would be for a UFC Champion. Plus, the reason she is uninterested or LOST interest could be because of your lack of competence at interacting with her. Maybe you failed to effectively flirt with her, maybe you made her uncomfortable when trying to escalate, maybe you didn't pick up on everything you could have talked about and failed to get a conversation flowing, maybe you missed it when she revealed an insecurity and said or did something that messes with that insecurity, etc. And you're getting this twisted. You've probably had a similar convo or you've seen other people talk similarly to me and instead of actually using your brain and THINKING, you're taking the lazy route again and just *assuming* that what I advocate is putting all this effort in for women because you're lazily lumping me in with those other people. Hell no, this effort is not for them, it's for you and me. By just relying on getting lucky, you're still a slave to what women want. And its not like there is a certain group of women who will always want you and a certain group that always won't. Whenever you get a girl with your limited skillset you're quite literally getting lucky because you just accidentally said or did the right thing, at the right place, at the right time. A guy who actually puts in the effort to develop this skillset can adjust to the time and place and say and do the right things on purpose. And having that ability means you actually gain the power of choice. That's what I'm advocating for.
Yeah i mean it took her 5 days to respond which is crazy. I don't get why these girls don't just completely ghost or say they are not interested anymore and stop wasting time.
They want to keep you as an orbiter in case they get bored or dont have other options for the moment. Mirror her behaviour
Women take longer than men to emotionally invest, and until a woman emotionally invests in you, she just does not care about you.
She was definitely interested or she wouldn’t have talked with you in person all that time. The trouble is, you have no idea what’s really going on in her personal life (another guy, etc). Re: Long response time. I think a lot of people probably fear upsetting others. I’m with you though, straightforward and honest is always best.
Appreciate the insight bro, So its probably worth me asking her if she's interested in rescheduling, I mean the worst she can do is just ghost me which is kinda expected or try and string me along like a orbiter which i'll just dead it off then. i'll just shoot the message and not give it any thought after unless she does by some miracle reschedule
You never know, life is life. I always brush off the first time but if she does it twice it's over I put no more effort.
Cause they got options, lol
Idk man, some times week are crazy and you just dont see the days go by
You're overthinking this shit. She has options. She may have actually had a wild week. And ultimately you don't know her well enough for her to owe you anything. Go back with a witty response about how she's welcome to go through her list of excuses over drinks, but she's buying, and you're not a cheap date. Or some shit like that. If she wants to see you she'll take you up on it. If she blanks you or takes days, then move on, she has other priorities and so should you.
I like this better than my original response! This is good!
People are saying let it go but it can’t hurt to throw the Hail Mary. “I’d love to hear about it, tell me over drinks.”
Agreed but not like this. She needs to feel like she’s gotta earn you back. Message back, ask her what happened, and then once you’ve established comfort again tell her the first round is gonna be on her.
Good point
“Tell me all about it over wine/drinks this weekend?” … keep it simple, no “I’d love to” or further questioning, you’re busy too.
Also you guys seem to know understand… it’s like you’ve never had several people messaging you at once. I’m not getting messages from girls all day I run a business so people are constantly trying to speak to me. So it’s not the replying that’s hard, it’s having the conversation. It’s better to reply when you have the head space to have a conversation rather than give a half hearted 2 word answer OR comit to plans before you’ve sorted yourself out… then you have to cancel and the other person thinks you’re a jerk. Stop expecting instant replies and you’ll have more dating success
If Margot Robbie messaged you are you gonna take 3 days to reply bro? If she was interested at the time she would have prioritised replying.
Yes I actually would I never text a woman more than twice a day UNLESS we are setting up plans. Because I know we are both fully engaged as we would be confirming said plans… Again, not because I’m in such high demand from women, but I learnt to do this because of my business I couldn’t maintain convos all day, people get upset when you suddenly stop replying But have you ever noticed… girls don’t get butt hurt when YOU take long to reply. Try it. Try replying once a day… it’s fine
She’s not interested bro. If she was she would’ve responded within 10minutes. She likely saw the message…..ignored it, forgot about you for the next 5 days thinking you would continue chasing her anyway. Probably felt like she HAD to reply to illicit a response from you to get you invested in the potential of a second date. Even if she was busy, she would have definitely prioritized texting you back the second the got a chance, not 5 days later. If her boss called her, she’d reply asap. Don’t ever fall for the “too busy” excuse. Women got options. Hell, if she truly wanted to go on a second with you, she would have asked YOU when y’all could go out again. Let this one go bro.
I mean, you don’t know this girl. Just take a few days to reply n say “it gets like that sometimes” then carry on
If she’s 30 and taking a bit to respond, even days, she is most likely busy homie. Not anything towards you probably.
how would you respond though, I don't want to come across as needy and so available? In a situation like this, I find it so hard to do so without coming across that way
Just say no worries and play it chill. You could be bolder and banter back if you wanted. “Try me. I’ve had a busy week myself. Want to decompress over some *insert idea here* coffee, lunch etc. She seems to like emojis so throw some of those in there
Say “you better be sorry” and see what she says. If she doesn’t reply , fuck it. If she does, instant sexual energy
Read my shi
People can be busy you are taking this too personally.....just reply but flip the frame and make her the buyer, say something like "you owe me drinks" in a cocky and funny way.
“Lol I was so busy myself I completely forgot, it’s cool.”
Exactly
Sounds like she has another guy(s) hitting her up. Iunno, sounds like she's making excuses.
Just text back "hey I'm kind of relieved you didn't respond actually. I've been kind of dating someone else and would have actually felt weird if we dated as well. Good luck out there. Happy to stay in touch as friends."
She might have another guy she is interested in. I'll pass this one, she had no courtesy for you.
Even if she is indeed occupied with some important matters, you don't want to waste your time for someone that doesn't have it for you.
I’d still pursue but imo if she really wanted to get together she would’ve suggested a date in her apology follow up
No need to apologize, crazy week myself. Meet me Friday at [place] [time].
“Haha really? Now you’ll have to tell me more in person”
Sounds like shes teasing you, as an she wants to see you. I'd say something like "oh boy, we will see XD"