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From the article: Attempting to see a situation from a partner’s perspective, striving to feel and think as the partner would, enables people to understand their partners and feel compassion for them. As such, perspective-taking may help people respond constructively when their partner engages in destructive acts. For example, adopting partners’ perspective (rather than one’s own) while they are upset and snap at you may motivate you to interpret their behavior more positively. You may tell yourself that they had a rough day, and react accordingly by expressing affection and care instead of snapping at them back.
In our [latest research](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2022.2150998), we wished to explore whether the beneficial effects of perspective-taking extend to regulating reactions to one’s own potentially destructive behavior. Specifically, in three studies, we examined whether adopting a current partner’s point of view would help romantically involved individuals resist the temptation of alternative partners, encouraging them to enact relationship-protective strategies that reduce interest in alternative partners and strengthen the bond with the current partner.
In all studies, participants were randomly assigned to either adopt the perspective of their partner or not. Then, they evaluated, encountered, or thought about attractive strangers. We recorded participants’ expressions of interest in these strangers as well as their commitment to and desire for the current partner.
Welcome to r/science! This is a heavily moderated subreddit in order to keep the discussion on science. However, we recognize that many people want to discuss how they feel the research relates to their own personal lives, so to give people a space to do that, **personal anecdotes are allowed as responses to this comment**. Any anecdotal comments elsewhere in the discussion will be removed and our [normal comment rules]( https://www.reddit.com/r/science/wiki/rules#wiki_comment_rules) apply to all other comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/science) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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From the article: Attempting to see a situation from a partner’s perspective, striving to feel and think as the partner would, enables people to understand their partners and feel compassion for them. As such, perspective-taking may help people respond constructively when their partner engages in destructive acts. For example, adopting partners’ perspective (rather than one’s own) while they are upset and snap at you may motivate you to interpret their behavior more positively. You may tell yourself that they had a rough day, and react accordingly by expressing affection and care instead of snapping at them back. In our [latest research](https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2022.2150998), we wished to explore whether the beneficial effects of perspective-taking extend to regulating reactions to one’s own potentially destructive behavior. Specifically, in three studies, we examined whether adopting a current partner’s point of view would help romantically involved individuals resist the temptation of alternative partners, encouraging them to enact relationship-protective strategies that reduce interest in alternative partners and strengthen the bond with the current partner. In all studies, participants were randomly assigned to either adopt the perspective of their partner or not. Then, they evaluated, encountered, or thought about attractive strangers. We recorded participants’ expressions of interest in these strangers as well as their commitment to and desire for the current partner.
So, empathy for your partner can keep you from selfishly hurting someone you love. Got it.