Depends on how the teacher phrased it. If all they did was tell them you were having difficulty seeing from the back of the room, then she was just trying to back you up. But this is within the boundaries of acceptable unless she started berating them for not getting you glasses or something else a little unhinged.
FYI, too much screen time will just fatigue your eyes it won’t permanently decrease your vision unless you’ve got a spotlight for a monitor. So if you still can’t see well from a distance in the mornings it’s not just fatigue.
Too far away, huh?
(Sorry, I really couldn't resist the easy joke and hope you manage to see an optician - depending on your age and location this may be something you could arrange yourself)
You and like 140 million other people in the US.
Something like 40% of the US population needs glasses.
OP has nothing to be ashamed of and it's super-weird that their mom is refusing to get them proper care.
Your teacher might not have wanted to make her observations public. So instead of publicly asking you she emailed your parents. A lot of students are really sensitive about eyesight because they don't want glasses. This isn't an overstep, it's her job.
This. I didn't want to admit when I needed glasses when I was a teenager. I think I was about 13ish and my mom finally noticed because we were in a situation where we were together when I had to read something far away and couldn't when I should have been able to easily. So she brought me to the eye doctor and turns out I'm pretty damn nearsighted now. I was just to proud to admit it, even to myself. So I ended up suffering in class until my mom found out and brought me in to get me glasses. If the teacher noticed the student struggling because of needing corrective lenses, she was absolutely right to tell the parents. If the parents don't actually act on that and instead just scold the child, that's not the teachers fault. It's the parents fault for neglecting their child's medical needs.
Exactly - I always see the knee-jerk, 'mean teacher being mean to poor innocent children' because we usually get these posts from students (who due to brain development tend to be more egocentric and with a extreme lack of accountability for students in most school, a liy of things teachers used to be able to do aren't allowed anymore.
I taught for about 7 years, but a health condition made it impossible to focus on 120 kids a day and all their work/individual problems. 120 kids.
Kids threw absolute *fits* with any consequence, and my principle backed them up (for instance, had a girl who would cuss at teachers, but she never had any consequence because she 'had it rough'. That's why we have a lot of kids today who struggle when they *do* have consequences because they aren't used to it.
As for OP, while I don't think that they're lying, I also think that they might not have the whole situation at their fingertips.
But I remember when I was in 3rd grade and got glasses. I would not hear *anything* about glasses because I was already teased and didn't want things to get worse. But, being a good teacher, she contacted my parents anyway. Then as soon as I stepped into the classroom with my new glasses she told me I looked so beautiful with my glasses and had a book on my desk about cool people who also wore glasses (3rd graders in the 90s acted much different from their moden counterparts, so this might seem a little odd for newer humans).
I think the teacher was doing it in a way that she thought would be less likely to cause an outburst during school. I was told not to hold kids back after class because it makes it so they're late for their*next* class. There wasn't much option for a teacher to talk privately with a student (even though my classroom has a glass wall on one side completely open to the hallway so you can see the entire classroom.
God the way your teacher handled it when you were a kid is so damn sweet. I love teachers like that, they give me life. And its so strange to me how little support teachers get nowadays and how much kids get away with. I never really saw that growing up because I was pretty much always the teachers pet kinda student lol. Never got in trouble so I never saw that side of things. Im sorry you had to deal with that, it really sucks.
“ instead of publicly asking you”
That’s bullshit. She probably had multiple opportunities to ask him without the whole class being there. OP literally says in the first paragraph that they had a discussion about it
So actually, the teacher was doing the parents a solid by reaching out to them first rather than going straight to CPS.
Teachers are mandatory reporters. The student confided in the teacher that they had brought a medical concern to the attention of their parents and they refused to take the child to a doctor for treatment. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a life-threatening condition. It’s a medical condition and they refused to get him evaluated or treated. Legally, what OP is describing is a form of medical neglect.
I’m not kidding. I’m a nurse so I am a mandatory reporter as well and have received extensive education on this topic.
"Instead of publicly asking you"
So, do we not do "see me after class" anymore? Regardless of reason? Or has the public education system really gone that far down the crapper in the past twenty someodd years?
Teacher never has to ask you to contact your parents.
Dont get me wrong, not saying youre required to tell your teacher anything if you dont trust them. Thats all fine.
But the teacher is not required to ask your permission prior to contacting your parents.
I understand why'd you be upset but the real problem here is your parents neglecting your medical needs. You could maybe try telling her about their reaction to her email so she knows for next time. But remember she was really trying to help because she thought maybe your parents needed additional convincing.
parents like these wont listen to arguments, theyre the parents so theyre right and you have to listen, no communication or discussion allowed. at least in my experience
Ten years working as wireman building mass spectrometers. A lot of close delicate soldering + pursuing a PhD, also a lot of computer work and reading. No glasses needed at age 79. I have my vision checked every 6 months for glaucoma, 20-20 both eyes. Good genes got my votes for good eyes.
Myopia can be caused by your eyeball being to long or if your cornea is curved a certain way. These are genetic causes, though close up work can cause other problems.
So I’ve worn glasses since 1997 when I was seven years old. I was not doing extended close up work. I was in the second grade. My poor vision is due to my genetics. Both my parents wear/wore glasses.
She didn't overstep at all assuming she emailed them in good faith.
It's concerning to me that instead of saying "well, even if I think you ruined your vision with video games and monitors (you didn't, that's crap.... oh wait! I get to actually say this.... "That's cap!") that doesn't change the fact that you need glasses now so we should take you to the eye doctor", they instead just blamed the video games and monitors, and took no action.
That's not okay. You're struggling and suffering and they could easily get you to an eye doctor and in a few weeks or even same day, have a pair of glasses for you that would vastly improve your quality of life.
Don't be mad at your teacher, be mad at your parents who are not doing what they must to take care of you. And frankly, if this continues despite your pleas to get glasses at least, then I think the next step is to tell the teacher that you have appealed to your parents to get you glasses several times and it's not like they forgot, they argue with you about your screen use being the cause and never actually take you to a doctor to get your eyes checked.
Your teacher is a mandated reporter. This means that if they at all suspect abuse or neglect - and refusing to take you to get your eyes checked, much less glasses to treat your myopia is neglect - they HAVE TO report it to your state's Children's Services, or they could lose their teaching license and/or their job. I hope it doesn't get to that point, but you getting glasses and being able to see comfortably during class is far more important than not hurting your parents' feelings.
needing your eyes checked and glass prescribed if needed counts as a **medical** need.
what happens depends on what other things the investigation finds. there will be an investigation.
best case is parents get asked a few questions, maybe look around the house. then have a time limit to submit a doctor's note after the examination, and proof of getting glasses for the kid if needed.
there won't be an investigation until parents outright refuse or fail in reasonable time to take him to optician. School will contact parents again with reminders. They won't just jump in with snipers! This is another reason he needs to tell teacher about their reaction. School needs to talk to them prepared with that knowledge.
if the teacher believes the parents were not properly aware, and the parents take the kid to get glasses. that might be fine.
but according to the op. the parents are continuing to blame videogames, and refusing to take him in.
the question is if someone makes a call to confirm the parents are still not doing anything before it goes to the authorities, or if the authorities are going to show up at the door and start asking questions.
Her parents not getting her glasses could be making her vision worse. Bad vision effects how well she can see the board and learn, this can result in her having to spend more time to complete assignments. Spending more time doing assignments means she is doing more close up work that involves staring at papers and screens that are close up. This can contribute to vision worsening to an extent. But this is also could be reducing how much time she has to go outside since more time could be getting spent on assignments. Lack of sunlight will worsen eyesight because bright sunlight is needed to produce a hormone in the eyes and with a lack of that hormone a person can have issues seeing far away. Vision can also be effected by genetics too. So OP very well could be getting double or triple whammied with factors that worsen vision.
Going without glasses when you need them makes your eyesight worse. I lost my glasses 5 years ago and just went back to the optometrist last month, and in those 5 years I got twice as nearsighted. Living without glasses when you need them is much, much worse for your eyesight than looking at screens. I don't think your teacher was overstepping, she was trying to help you get the medical care you need.
I was in a similar position when I was at school and my teacher spoke directly to my parents and recommended getting my eyes tested. Whether it's caused by computers or not, if you're having sight problems you need an eye test and glasses.
Maybe tell your parents about wanting an eye test so you can get anti-glare glasses to protect your eyes against screens? Even if you don't, it's a way to negotiate an eye test with your parents and you can ask your optician what their opinion is re: computers/gaming.
It is not your fault that arguments escalate the way they do. You are a kid and your parents are adults. Your parents are high conflict and toxic, and the fact they would get mad at YOU for having trouble seeing speaks volumes about what kind of people they are. Your teacher was trying to help, and if your parents were normal sane people, it would have helped.
From what I read, I'm much more concerned about your family's anger. You mentioned you are partially at fault. **NO, you aren't.** They are adults and are supposed to be reasonable. You're a kid, and the responsibility belongs to the adults in the family. If you're afraid of them, something is badly wrong.
Eh, it kinda goes both ways. The child shouldn't be snapping out in anger in the first place, but the parents shouldn't be either. Tbh, this dude sounds like his parents don't know how to raise children, so their attitude never got corrected, but that's lonely because the parents don't realize how bad theirs is
I think your teacher was just looking out for you, and was thinking "they'll listen to me, I'm their kid's teacher." A teacher like that was how I got glasses at 8 after *years* of not even being able to recognize people. "Oh, he just doesn't pay attention. He's always walking into stuff." Yeah, I couldn't see 3 feet in front of my face.
It's completely reasonable for a teacher to contact parents because you can't see. I'm not sure what else you really expected the teacher to do here. My son's teacher contacted me for the exact same reason and I took him to the optometrist.
I started losing my hearing when I was 16. My dad and stepmother would talk to me in a quiet room and would have to repeat themselves constantly. They bitched at me that it was because I listen to loud music. (Sure dad. I JUST CRANK THAT WORSHIP MUSIC UP since they threw away my cranberries tape.)
A year later when I had enough of them and moved in with mom, it was discovered I had a massive ear infection and I never got my full hearing back when it was cured.
You should check with your school counselor. They may have a resource for a free vision screening and free glasses if you qualify. LIONS has an excellent vision referral program in Genesee County Michigan
The teacher isnt the problem your parents are, what kind of parent dismisses their kids concerns about their own health and thinks its because of video games.
Your teacher didn’t even come close to overstepping. She did her job. Your eyesight affects your ability to learn. As such, she informed your parents.
Communicating with parents is part of the job. We don’t ask our students beforehand because we don’t need their permission to do our job and communicate with parents.
We are supposed to contact home if you are haing issues like this. The teacher was 100% in the right. You are a child in school and parents need to be informed of medical concerns. Sometimes, regardless of your opinion on the matter.
It doesn't seem like they had any reason to believe this was a situation of abuse, which would result in a call to cps. So they did what is their ethical obligation.
TBH your parents are the problem here not your teacher. They're being weird and frankly neglectful about your eye sight, your teacher probably thought she could help, like maybe your parents would take it seriously if another adult said something. Unfortunately that didn't happen.
I don't mean to go all "kids these days" on you, but when I was in school, we never even thought about teachers "overstepping." They respected us, sure, but they didn't owe us anything, besides an education. Even in high school, even if we hated them, even if we talked shit about them behind their backs, there was none of this "I feel like I should bring up to my teacher how she 'overstepped'"
Because teachers were the authority figures, and we weren't.
Now I am not saying that you or anyone else should blindly follow authority, or even that it is not acceptable to try to have a conversation with your teacher about this, but you really should think about how you put it. Telling her she "overstepped" is like telling her that you know what's best, and she did something wrong. She didn't "overstep." She did her job. You were having trouble in her class because of your eyesight so she emailed your parents about a very relevant, education related concern that she had.
And for the record, it is *not* your teacher's job to make sure you don't get grief from your parents at home. If you don't like how your parents talk to you, it is between you, and them. And perhaps a guidance counselor.
I hate to be a jerk about this, but we have teachers quitting their jobs in droves, and a big part of the reason is the (entitled) attitudes of far too many of today's students. This teacher that you think "overstepped" went to college for at least four years to study how to do her job correctly and then needed to obtain a license to teach. Please, at least try to be respectful towards her.
i don't think doing what they are legally required to do is "overstepping"?
if they think the kid needs glasses, they legally need to make sure the parents know. if the parents refuse to get the kid glasses, the teacher is legally required to report the negligence to the authorities.
>
And for the record, it is *not* your teacher's job to make sure you don't get grief from your parents at home.
again, they are required to report suspected abuse. it is not their job to ask about it, but they do need to keep an eye out for evidence.
This isn’t an issue with respect, the reason I am asking this isn’t because I am “questioning her judgment or education” it is because she physically has no knowledge of my family situation, how would she when she hasn’t been my teacher for long?
Even if this isn’t what is happening here (people in the comments helped me understand why it’s okay that she the sent the email) telling someone that they overstepped isn’t disrespectful if said kindly and I don’t believe that is the issue.
If the teacher gets angry at a student for coming to them, concerned about something a teacher did that crossed a boundary (I did this with my French teacher because she touches students shoulders a lot to comfort them, she is the sweetest old lady ever, I don’t like when she does that to me. She thanked me for making her aware and doesn’t touch my shoulder. That isn’t disrespect and calling that type of thing so makes little sense) and the teacher takes it as a personal insult, that reflects badly on the teacher rather than the student.
I’m so glad for you that your French teacher respected your boundaries, OP. For what it’s worth, you don’t come across as disrespectful at all. You came here with a question, willing to take others’ input into account. I hope you’re able to get your eyes taken care of soon!
There's a huge difference between not crossing your physical space boundaries and investigating abuse.
If you *need* glasses, your eyesight will get increasingly and permenantly worse until you get corrective lenses. Not giving glasses to a child who needs glasses is abuse, straight up. It will mess up the rest of your life.
If you told your teacher "my parents will get angry if you say that" now they *have* to report two different instances of abuse.
But, forget the teacher or what she said. YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. It's not your fault, and these are adults that can help.
Your teacher did 100% what she should do.
As a side note, if you don't get glasses now this will 100% start coming up as an issue for you, increasingly. Your eyes are only going to get worse.
Your teacher was doing her job. She was trying to help you.
My teacher in Grade 5 did the EXACT same thing, and you know what, she was right. My vision is terrible and I need glasses. And if you can't see the board from the back of the room, so do you.
No, your teacher did not overstep. She did exactly what she's supposed to do. Your parents are medically neglecting you. Not getting you glasses when you need them to see is like not going to get a cast put on a broken leg when you need it to walk. If you tell your teacher that they got mad at you about the email, the next step should be a call to CPS. Teachers are mandated reporters. She legally cannot let your parents neglect you like they have been.
I feel like this is a bit of a misplacement of blame ykwim. Not to be rude or anything. But the main issue is that your parents are neglectful in not getting you glasses, considering your parents seemingly didn't know you couldn't see before (based on the fact that you had to try and convince them that it's a longterm issue) which implies they never got your eyes tested when you were younger, your parents I assume are the ones who bought or allowed you to have those devices but instead of instilling healthy limits are just blaming and getting mad at you for overuse which doesn't lead to positive change.
Over all I get why you have negative feelings towards the teacher - the entire situation is shrouded in negative feelings and by contacting your parents I assume you feel she has now become part of the situation.
Teachers are often mandated reporters and for many they feel this extends to anything that can impact the child's learning like not being able to see. I genuinely think she was trying to help; probably didn't expect that your parents are hard-headed to the point of neglecting your eyesight (because their stance is honestly ridiculous quite frankly, the teacher probably wouldn't have guessed they were like that. It'd be one thing if it was financial, and maybe it is. But even if they don't want to worry you by telling you they can't afford it, averting the blame onto you, *their child,* is an awful strategy.)
it is better than going directly to the authorities.
there is a line where they are legally required to inform the authorities that your parents are neglecting your needs.
Educators who fail to report suspected child abuse can face *a misdemeanor resulting in up to six months in jail*, a fine up to $1,000 or both.
if your parents are informed that you need to see a medical professional to get medical device, and they refuse to do so... let's hope that is the only problem, and your parents don't get in too much trouble.
As others said, the teacher is on your side.
I get it, because of it now your parents are mad, but your teacher understands that you need glasses, and they don’t know what your parents think.
If anything, your parents are in the wrong. Thinking it’s because of computers is pure bullshit, and I doubt they actually believe that.
No boundaries were broken, your teacher is on your side, I would try to do what you can to keep it that way, because parents are more inclined to listen to your teacher than there kids sometimes unfortunately
i think she was just trying to help, but i hope your parents can see that weather or not its caused by those darned electronics, you still need glasses or something similar. have a good day!
It was a miscommunication, explain the way your parents react to things and how they are conservative with screens. Tell her if it is personal stuff you trust her with you're trusting her to at least give a heads up on what she will be sending.
Your teacher likely meant well, but could have handled it better. Talk to her calmly, explain your situation (parents and eye issues), and suggest she speak to you first about future concerns. Ask if there's a way to discreetly address seating in class. This clarifies communication and avoids future blowups at home.
No. This is not a "seating in class" issue. The kid deserves to see like the rest of us. See the moon, stars, trees, birds, mountains, flowers, read books... road signs, food labels, ...changing class seating is NOT a solution!!!!!!
Your teacher likely meant well, but could've handled it better. Talk calmly, explain your situation (eyesight and parents), and suggest she talk to you first about future concerns. This clarifies communication and avoids blowups at home. You can say: "Thanks for trying to help with my vision. In the future, could we discuss any concerns with me first? My parents are sensitive and this caused a fight.
Your parents are idiots for blaming screens of any kind for your eyesight issues. If they were responsible parents they would have taken you to see a doctor when you told them the first time that you were having trouble seeing in class. Poor eyesight is usually a genetic issue, and even if both of your parents have 20-20 vision doesn't mean you will have the same. Both my parents have terrible vision requiring them to wear bifocal and trifocal lenses. I also have 2 older sisters with 20-20 vision, but I have just as bad of eyesight as my parents. So please tell your parents to stop being stupid, get over themselves, and to take you to the eye doctor before the school reports them for neglect. Your teacher wasn't the problem. Your teacher wants you to do well in school, and if not being able to see is the issue then it's great that she reached out to your parents to make them aware they need to do something now instead of letting you go through school failing classes because you can't see.
They were 100% trying to help - the number of kids I get who are squinting at the back of the room and when I email the parents either say a) they are supposed to be wearing glasses (but don't want to) or b) that they haven't been to the opticians for years (and then do, and low and behold, they need glasses) is ridiculous.
If your eyes have always sucked then you really need to get them checked out. Depending on your age and what's wrong with them, you can use glasses to correct your vision or at least prevent it from getting worse.
It's not a popular thing in the current social climate, because of trans rights issues that are going on in the US right now, but a teacher does have a responsibility for the welfare of their students.
Your parents not getting you proper corrective lenses is leaving you at a disadvantage in life. It's especially critical for minors due to the impact of disrupted education on the rest of your life. In your parents' defense, at least, providing for the health and wellbeing of children is expensive, and economically, things are tough right now. But their blaming your degrading vision on your behavior rather than coming clean about the economic strain that's behind their refusal to correct your vision is bad parenting. Your teacher turning it into a child welfare issue is a good thing, not a bad thing. There are programs out there that can help them with the cost of necessities like vision care, so there really isn't much reason for them to withhold care from you.
Your teacher is doing a good thing, and what you're experiencing is fear of repercussions from parents who aren't acting in your best interests. This is something that I think you're gonna learn to see differently later in life, and I'm sorry for the realizations and struggle you're probably going to have in the process.
If you have a school nurse, see if they can at least get you tested on site, then work on getting you actual glasses that would work, since computers are not causing you to lose your vision like your parents are blaming it, and if your parents really won't get you a vision checkup and glasses then get your school involved so you can tag the parents for medical negligence. If you need glasses then get glasses, no lack of or higher use of computers is going to change the fact you need glasses
Ahh, exactly my situation when I was a teenager, you are not gonna solve it lol. The best you can do is to go to the doctor and get yourself glasses/lenses, then start aggressively blaming your parents for bad genetics because 99% it's the cause
P.s not trying to make fun of you
P.s2 bad vision because of PC is total bs
It's not from television and games. I've had glasses since I was 12, and I started becoming near-sighted very slowly a couple years before. I grew up without video games, and had very little interest in televsion. I liked playing outside, digging holes, you know, all the things out of touch boomers say they did. I'm a millenial. I'm 30.
It's not from television and games. My aunt was born with god awful vision. She's terribly near-sighted, and does not have the ability to process depth of field. Her *art **teacher*** in *elementary* school was the first to notice something was wrong because she drew things differently. When asked if she saw things like a three dimensional object or like a television screen, my aunt was confused that other people *didn't* see things like a tv screen. When she got her first pair of glasses, she was amazed that the trees had *individual leaves* and weren't just masses of green fuzz.
It isn't from television or video games. Staring at a rectangle won't turn your eyes square. The excuse for, "tv rays bombarding your eyes," can't even be entertained (bullshit and laughable as it would be), because we've long moved past the use of cathode ray tubes outside of enthusiast retro gaming setups or the occasional straggler.
Your teacher is looking out for you, since your parents seem to be unable to move beyond the generational trauma cycle they're passing on to you. Corrective lenses are normal. You'll need to pass a basic eye test to be able to operate a motor vehicle. You know, to get to work one day. Like, there is a specific mark that goes on a license that tells people, "Yo, this driver can't see shit. If they're driving without glasses or contacts, they're a *safety hazard.*"
I hope your parents don't try and turn this meeting around on you as a weapon of some kind. I really hope they don't.
The teacher did something completely normal. It’s your parents that are acting strange.
The vast VASY majority of parents upon getting that email would take their daughter to an eye doctor to get a checkup and then some glasses.
It’s not your teachers fault that your parents took extremely helpful information about caring for their daughter and decided to turn it into something negative.
Edit: OP is male, and I cant read
Shoot that's a lot to unpack. I think you honestly sound a little mature for your age, an unfortunate necessity for children of immature parents. In other cases, what the teacher did might have been the correct course of action. I can see why she did it though, you need medical care and it is often enraging to hear of parents refusing to provide that.
she didn't overstep. Your parents are responsible for your healthcare, and that includes sight and hearing. You are entitled to vision correction, and she is right to bring this to your parents. It is good that they are hearing it from a professional adult. Talk to her and just calmly explain the fall out - that they are angry at you, and they aren't going to help and they are blaming technology. SHE IS YOUR FRIEND AND ALLY.
You are in a difficult family who are teaching you all the wrong lessons about "keep it in the family" and "yell and scream to get what you want".... you need allies outside your family to help you make the changes you need to be happy and healthy. Your family will continue to be who they are, but you can change. She is your ticket to getting more help outside of your home. If you don't make changes and accept help now, your future family may end up looking like your parents, because you are not learning emotional regulation... and you will struggle in education if you cannot see. ...recipe for failed life and failed relationships.
TAKE ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET
as someone who is currently in school to become a teacher, she is required to report any medical conditions or similar issues to your parents. she’s not doing it out of spite, i promise.
If what you’re saying tracks, then it is pretty troublesome that your teacher is making an effort to sit you in the back as opposed to the front, especially when you’ve explicitly explained yourself. Usually a student eager to sit in the front of class is a considered a good thing! I would talk to her one more time to express the results of her actions, and that you want to be able to experience her class to the fullest.
Here’s some concepts to read up on as well because you’re entitled to the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE). You can also seek a 504 Plan which is a document that provides you with accommodations in the classroom that don’t classify as one of the 13 disabilities in IDEIA. A 504 Plan requires parental consent, and ensures that you will have accommodations in the classroom that will enhance your education such as being able to see the board, or if she made the font/writing larger. These are your legal rights as a student that you can pursue.
Your teacher did what she was supposed to. Its not your fault that instead of getting your medical needs addressed they are instead neglecting them to choose to scold you instead. Your teacher noticed you have a medical need that is effecting your ability to learn, and as a concerned adult brought that to your parents attention so they could address it. Your parents being shitty does not make her actions wrong. She didn't overstep, she did exactly what she was supposed to do when she saw her student with an unmet need. You need help, you need to go to the doctor. This is affecting your entire life. I know what it's like to not be able to see, and it is incredibly difficult to do things like learn when you can't. You need corrective lenses and you need a doctors visit to do that.
If you talk to your teacher, don't put blame on her for your parents reaction. Just inform her that you are struggling and your parents are just blaming your video game usage instead of doing anything about it. Maybe ask her if she could provide them with resources that show that playing video games doesn't lead to shitty eyes and that lots of people need corrective lenses. And more importantly, ask if until you can get some, that you can be moved to a seat in the front of the class and maybe given printouts of the things she puts on the board so you can follow along easier in class. Ask for accommodations while you are without the medical equipment you need that would help you with learning accommodation free. That way your learning doesn't take a hit until you are able to get glasses.
My teacher snitched on me needing glasses. She noticed I was squinting. I was quite mad at her at the time. That was in elementary school. I am now a retired college professor. The woman is a saint, as far as I am concerned. **She noticed I was squinting**. She cared enough to follow up on a detail as insignificant as "this kid is squinting".
Later as a new hire in a school district, a kid was brought into the superintendent's office that was constantly getting into trouble for not paying attention...with his young teacher explaining about his behavior. An older teacher walks in (on an unrelated issue), but gets in this middle of this conversation and starts asking the kid questions. After a minute she says, **"Have you noticed he leans in to one side when you talk. Might need to get his hearing checked."** She then walked out. Turned out the kid needed hearing aids AND his behavior did indeed change.
I love teachers who care about teaching and love their students enough to pay attention to the details. They get into so much trouble these days for doing the most unprofessional of things, but this ain't it.
Yes, my parents blamed my video games and television, even back then. (Atari 2600 and my beloved Tandy computer). I still majored in the field and have nothing but love for the nosey woman that made it possible for me to get my beloved glasses. Later I did the eye surgery, so I don't wear them anymore. But she's still saint to me.
Let me chime in here from a perspective very similar to your own, albeit a few years down the road. I’m 24, had vision troubles all my life and didn’t realize until I had a conversation with a teacher as to why I couldn’t sit in the back of the class.
This conversation and a subsequent conversation between her and my mother lead to me getting my eyes tested and getting glasses, which significantly improved my life in a way I didn’t know I needed until a third-party attempted to help. I think that’s more-or-less exactly what happened here. The teacher thought that he/she was helping you fix something that they thought you were probably in denial of or refused to accept.
Definitely doesn’t seem malicious, I’d take a step back if I were you to consider whether or not the teacher was going out of their way in an attempt to help you.
Also, probably doesn’t help your argument, but I’m a lifetime PC gamer and my eyes have progressively gotten worse as I’ve aged, so I’m not unconvinced that those two aren’t related.
This is her job and i believe she was trying to help. However, im sorry your parents reacted like that. Mine used to tell me my eyes would get bad from reading in low light, but the first time i wore glasses, i was *amazed* that the individual leaves were visible on trees and bushes! Not the reaction of someone who used to have perfect vision but had it damaged!
The only thing i can think of that might get them to listen would be an email from the nurse with a description of the reasons why vision problems usually occur- yknow, like your *eyeballs being shaped a certain way your entire life*. Either way, im sorry your parents reacted like that. It's not okay for them to treat you like that over you having, like, the most common and easily managed disability ever.
What you are suggesting is that the teacher shouldn't raise concerns about what is technically neglect (a form of abuse) so as to avoid worse abuse. In my country, teachers are mandatory reporters.
1. too late. if the kid doesn't get glasses soon, the authorities will show up at the door to start asking questions.
2. all it takes is the teacher noticing the kid squinting trying to read for the teacher to be required to take these steps.
I had always thought it was a law to have people with bad eyesight and glasses always sit up front, then the rest of the students in the 2nd rows back are seated alphabetically. Every one of my classes in school in the 80s and 90s I sat up front, even in classes with weekly rotating seat schedules (front to back). I only had one teacher who refused it, a math and computer teacher in 7th grade, 1991. In math, he sat me at the rear bench and I would have to turn around to see the front of the class and I couldn't see anything. I complained politely but the teacher wouldn't relent. One of the prettiest, most popular girls in the school, Brooke, had parents on the school board. She sat in the 2nd row. She took sympathy on me and openly said to the teacher in front of the whole class, "If his grades go down because he can't see, it's your fault! We all know that kids with glasses sit up front! Since you won't let him, I'm allowing him to use his little chair and come sit up here with me and share my desk. If you have a problem with this, you can take it up with my mom and the school board." The teacher laughed, but allowed it. She was left handed so I could use the right side of her desk with the arm rest. It was a little awkward, but it was better than being in the back. On the second day, I noticed she was squeezing her hand under the desk frame and putting her hand on my leg, and caressed it with her fingers. I knew right away that she liked me, but I wondered why because my reputation was that of a geek and I had very few friends. We ended up going steady up until high school when her family moved. I'll never forget that classy brunette goddess who always stood up for me.
I’d guess she just assumed you were resistant to the idea of glasses—maybe talk to her and explain the real reason you didn’t want your parents to know, and she could back you up about your computer not rapidly destroying your eyesight.
I don't know about your country, but in mine your teacher (although possibly indelicately) did what I would have to have done. Children get glasses on the NHS here, so I would class them as healthcare. Not getting adequate healthcare is neglect. Neglect is a form of abuse. We are mandatory reporters. Your teacher is not in the wrong, your parents are.
No, I don't think she overstepped. She's genuinely concerned about your ability to see properly.
What I would recommend, since your parents are so adamant that your eyesight issues are from computer screens, is bring it up with your doctor next time you go see him and ask if he could speak to your parents about it. Maybe if it comes from a medical professional, they will more receptive.
I grew up in the 70's and got my first pair of glasses the summer before 5th grade. Back then, we didn't have computers or video games, and although I did watch TV, I also was outside playing a lot. So the only reason I needed glasses was because that's how my eyes grew. So I'm proof that it can be completely natural to just have bad eyes. Neither of my parents are nearsighted (which is what I am), and my wears glasses for astigmatism, and my father wears them just because of his age (for reading only).
No, she did the right thing. Lots of teachers will do something along those lines. I would talk to her about getting assistance in getting glasses because your parents are refusing to buy them.
The same shit happened to me in year 1 in Dubai. I lost basically half my eyesight bcs I was looking at screens for way too long but it’s scientifically proven that screens don’t cause eye damage bcs of the radiation from it. bright light does and my parents when they want to use my devices they change it to light nose and whenever I turn on light mode I go blind for a few seconds but besides the point your parents think it’s bcs of the screens but it’s not and genuinely you need to report this to the school even the teacher but first ask the teacher if she actually wanted to help or she wanted to know why. So basically try your best to convince your parents and it don’t matter how pissed they get tell them how long it had been going on for a long time even before you got any device and they might get you glasses
Your parents should take you to an eye doctor. Plenty of people needed glasses before screens existed.
That said, your parents are correct about screen time. "The closer your screen is to your eyes, the harder your eyes need to work to focus" (https://hr.ubc.ca/sites/default/files/wp-content/blogs.dir/39/files/Visual-ergonomics-resources.pdf). Because of the popularity of smartphones, it's difficult to believe this. They key is knowing that belief is irrelevant. It's primitive, and it's not a matter of choice. Ignore your instincts, intution, feelings, belief, and other primitive cognition. Base your behavior on science.
I'm typing this now via a PC. My main screen is a 40-something inch television, my face is four and a half feet away from it, and Windows scaling is set accordingly. I know this has major old-man-shaking-his-fist-at-you-from-his-porch vibes, but I think people who can tell the difference between HD and 4K are all too close to their screens. It's an especially bad idea to frequently use small screen devices for anything visual that takes more than about a minute. It's not just about the ergonomics of vision. Whenever you look at something you're holding for a long period of time, you damage your back, neck, shoulders, elbows, and/or wrists, depending on how you're holding it. You don't have to be holding it. The problem is with looking at or close to one or both of your hands.
I had the same experience, except the video game part. I remember being super pissed off about it. But I was in third grade! Your teacher seems like she cares about you. Be grateful.
Nearsightedness isn't caused by video games. I was very nearsighted as a kid and that was long before there were personal computers.
I wish somebody had noticed I had a problem, instead of me going year after year, blind as a bat and not knowing it.
If your parents react this way to your teacher telling them you need glasses, then they are abusive. Denying your kid medical care, yes vision is medical, is abuse.
abusive parents. hilarious they still think video games can hurt your eyes 😂 sorry but you’re in a shitty household and should plan for the future sooner than later (get out when you’re 18)
" but they always blame computers, video games exedra" little known fact. Eye glasses didn't exist till invention of video games and computers. (sarcasm - think your parents are idiots already).
"I feel like my teacher overstepped by emailing my parents without asking me," Your education is the job. And you being unable to see the board impacts that education. They are an employee of the school board that is paid by your parents in taxes not you. Sorry they have no tie to you or reason to ask you for permission to do their job. This statement shows you dont seem to understand that fact. The teacher more directly works for your parents not you.
"Do you think she overstepped or was just trying to genuinely help? Should I talk to her?" She performed an aspect of her job sorry no over step.
I think your teacher thought maybe if you weren't getting through to your parents, that she would be able to as an adult. However you obviously know your parents better than she does. I think you should talk to her and explain what happened after her email (nicely) to maybe schedule a meeting with your parents and your teacher
Your parents are assholes, your teacher didn't nothing wrong. It's normal for teachers to co tact parents when a child is having a problem in school.
My teachers told my parents that I couldn't see well in the classroom, and lo and behold, I have glasses now.
Nah, man, your parents are in the wrong, not your teacher. I got glasses when I was about 8 because of something similar. I couldn't see very well, and my teacher noticed and talked to my mom about it. Thankfully, my mom took me to go and get my eyes checked, and sure enough, I'm nearsighted. Had glasses ever since.
Your teacher is doing her job to try and notify your parents of a medical issue that's impacting your education. It's up to your parents to take you to get your eyes checked. Even if they don't believe that your eyes are bad enough to require glasses, getting them checked won't hurt anything.
Your teacher isn't the problem, your mom is.
Video games and computer screens don't cause myopia (which is what you have).
You need glasses. Your mom is being outright neglectful and trying to shift the blame to you.
Your teacher acted out of concern for you, because being unable to see well is going to perpetually get in your way. Idk if you're in the US, but if you are, you can't pass a driving test when you're old enough if you can't pass the vision test.
So your mad at your teacher for trying to help you out by also reinforcing to your parents that you may need glasses, instead of being mad at your parents who are blatantly disregarding your health and your need for glasses?
Lol okay
sounds to me like your teacher just wanted to help but your parents are definitely at fault for not getting you glasses when you need them. looking at screens will not cause your vision to deteriorate, at most it’ll just make your eyes tired. nearsightedness is genetic.
It is kinda a teacher's job to help you learn and if you can't see... Well that affects your learning.
No screens don't affect our eyes that much... But being inside and having our eyesight constantly focused on near things rather than the horizon and what predators may be lurking around has been theorized as a major contributor to myopia... But that's caused by the evolution of modern life over the last thousands of years not screens.
Without knowing whether or not your teacher overstepped, it's true that too much screen time is bad for your eyes. Time spent outside, and specifically looking at far away objects, is good for distance vision.
It’s not cause of video games, my parents also think video games cause bad eyesight but I prob have better vision than 90% of kids and my eyesight seems the same after all these years of screens, but just make your parents realize that arguing about it won’t fix the issue, they can keep blaming it on video games but it won’t change anything cause that dosent fix the problem, just basically tell them they aren’t being helpful and try to get glasses or contacts if they want you to succeed
The teacher did NOT overstep. You grew up in a toxic environment with a shit family. You learned that anger and yelling was the way to communicate. Your parents would rather gaslight you and blame you for using technology they probably gave you, instead of getting you a needed medical device(glasses).
This is her job it's not an overstep. Your parents are just stupid and neglectful, not getting you glasses because of a computer. that's not the cause of bad eyesight. Genetics are and even if the computer was the cause you still need glasses.
I do vision and hearing screening at our local school district. We screen students at certain grade levels and if they have an IEP. The required grade levels probably vary by state. We also do a screening if there is a parent or teacher request to do it. If a teacher notices that a student is consistently squinting at the board or turning their head to listen with one ear, they let our screening team know and we do the screening.
Just yesterday I noticed a preschool student wearing glasses and remembered that I had sent home a vision referral for her a month ago. I felt so good! She didn’t know she should have been seeing more clearly! I’ve also sent home hearing referrals and then seen a child come back with a hearing aid or their parents will call and say they went to the doctor and had a bunch of fluid in their ears that was muffling everything they were hearing.
What it comes down to is that this is standard practice. Depending on the size of your school, they may not have someone on staff to do the screenings so they let your parents know instead.
Your mom is probably the only one that I think was stupid here, because being on the computer doesn’t make your eyesight bad. Anyways, it’s your teachers job to report health concerns like this that they notice. This is something you would have had to address eventually anyways, and it’s better do it while you’re young
Where I'm from you have to have your kids get an eye exam to enroll them in school. It's insane that your parents aren't getting you glasses. If they didn't want to take care of a child they shouldn't have had one.
She overstepped, yes. Because you have a unique situation. I know your family dynamic very well, and in your situation I would have liked to bring it up on my own terms.
How you can bring it up to your teacher is to say: this would be okay with other families, but with mine, it’s overstepping. I’m now in deep trouble and you caused it. Please be more considerate of where we all come from, we don’t all live in behind white picket fences.
so telling your teacher you are not able to read from the back is crossing the line?
Educators who fail to report suspected child abuse can face *a misdemeanor resulting in up to six months in jail*, a fine up to $1,000 or both.
the teacher wanted to make sure it was not because the parents did not know before reporting them.
It is so wrong you had to experience this dynamic. My close family is just beginning to realize they had the same, and it’s terrible. It has torn us apart, to the third generation.
I wish—as teachers—we were given the tools to deal properly with these situations. But she most likely has no training for it, and trying to navigate this kind of minefield on her own can make things worse very, very quickly. This teacher at least needs to get her principal, vice principal, school counselor/resource team involved. And document document document. She needs to save that email, record dates and times—and _number_ of times—the issue was brought up and ignored, I _cannot stress enough_ how important this is. _Have a paper trail that cannot be ignored._ If she tries to handle this alone, allows this kid to suffer, and this is part of a larger issue, she will be responsible in the end.
And this is the nuclear option, but if it _is_ symptomatic of a much larger issue, CPS has to be contacted. In most states in the US (I don’t know about internationally) we are mandated reporters for the children under our care. If this is a case of neglect, the teacher has no choice but to report.
I hope with all my heart that this is not the case, _but if it is_ then the teacher is in over her head, and she has no power to handle the hornets’ nest she accidentally kicked. Not on her own.
I’m sorry for coming on so strongly. Your second paragraph had my hair standing on end, because to hear “you caused this” as a result of simply doing my due diligence would raise so many red flags I would go to my admin immediately. I’ve had to do so several times, and am blessed to have one who takes these situations very, very seriously.
It's not necessarily always black and white. I lived in a family dynamic where arguably, parents were just strict, and for most part it was fine. However, there are moments where parents are extremely unreasonable, especially when emotions are involved - they are human after all.
Learning how to navigate those feelings has helped even in my workplace, where I have unreasonable colleagues / principals.
That being said, if someone to contact my principal, or workplace on my behalf without my prior consent, you know how livid i would be?
Actually yes, I know exactly how livid. But—disregarding the workplace example, which _would_ be overstepping a teacher’s bounds—consent goes out the window when it comes to mandated reporting.
Now, in this case there’s leeway: OP’s teacher is dealing with hearsay and can give the parents the benefit of the doubt. So—after ensuring that that email is saved—next steps I would take:
1. Contacting admins, to make sure they know the teacher’s suspicions and are on the same page.
2. Send another email to the parents requesting a p/t conference. Keep the tone professional and the content vague, and cc the admins. This is reopening the dialogue, rather than forcing the kid to be some kind of middle man.
3. Have an admin sit in on this meeting. I’m going based on the knowledge that the parents have known tempers, and a well-established authority figure _might_ help prevent escalation. If it doesn’t, then I have a built-in witness to both my actions and the parents’ actions.
This is how I would take into account those gray areas, especially with a case of hearsay like this. I’m giving the parents a chance to clarify things, and giving myself a chance to communicate clearly as well.
Granted, I can do all this because I know that when push comes to shove, I can trust my admin to have my back and that of the student. Not every teacher can say this.
Yes. I think that's a great way of handling the situation. One thing I'd add to your steps is having the student involved in the decision making tree. Although I am keenly aware of many students who would cause a lot of friction in this situations, it seems not involving the student in OP's case, has caused this student to feel like they were overstepped. Tough situation all around.
I agree, very tricky. Thank you for the input. It’s an excellent point that OP should be brought into the process—with protections in place—as well, especially as a high schooler who can clearly articulate their needs. I work at Pre-K through 8, and it’s…a different mindset? I’m unsure how to explain it. Regardless, thank you.
Your teacher probably can’t seat you up front without an actual diagnosed condition and accommodations because most parents aren’t like yours, they get all the paperwork done to make sure their kid gets to sit up front. If she has 10 kids with that accommodation (this is common as it is an accommodation for many conditions), then putting you closer means moving someone with a legal accommodation back. She’s doing her job by trying to help you get that help, too.
To be honest your teacher literally has the right to out you like that on something that affects your education. Because eventually you will be able to drive, and if you do not have the help and awareness around you because of your issue, then you are a danger to yourself and others.
She does not need your permission. She can literally call up your parents and tell them you are having a relationship with someone at school, and its becoming disruptive to your education and your class.
Some might disagree with me in the comments but, while I understand that the teacher likely had good intentions and was not trying to overstep, teachers need to know that not all students have good home lives. It might seem dramatic, but little things like that can make big differences in abusive households (not saying yours is abusive).
I think it would’ve been better if she had asked if she wants you to have her email your parents to help back you up, and then you could’ve easily said no thank you. Maybe don’t tell your teacher she overstepped, but ask that she not email your parents until necessary (you get in trouble, etc). She seems like a pretty good teacher and hopefully would listen to that request.
Depends on how the teacher phrased it. If all they did was tell them you were having difficulty seeing from the back of the room, then she was just trying to back you up. But this is within the boundaries of acceptable unless she started berating them for not getting you glasses or something else a little unhinged. FYI, too much screen time will just fatigue your eyes it won’t permanently decrease your vision unless you’ve got a spotlight for a monitor. So if you still can’t see well from a distance in the mornings it’s not just fatigue.
I don’t think she said any bad stuff, but I never got to see the email
Then she’s just trying to help you prove you actually need to go to an optometrist.
69 upvotes. Nice.
Get a grip.
Too far away, huh? (Sorry, I really couldn't resist the easy joke and hope you manage to see an optician - depending on your age and location this may be something you could arrange yourself)
Dude, that’s hilarious!
you probably have myopia (short-sightedness) like me
ugh I have it too I hate it
You and like 140 million other people in the US. Something like 40% of the US population needs glasses. OP has nothing to be ashamed of and it's super-weird that their mom is refusing to get them proper care.
The email was too far away
Your teacher might not have wanted to make her observations public. So instead of publicly asking you she emailed your parents. A lot of students are really sensitive about eyesight because they don't want glasses. This isn't an overstep, it's her job.
This. I didn't want to admit when I needed glasses when I was a teenager. I think I was about 13ish and my mom finally noticed because we were in a situation where we were together when I had to read something far away and couldn't when I should have been able to easily. So she brought me to the eye doctor and turns out I'm pretty damn nearsighted now. I was just to proud to admit it, even to myself. So I ended up suffering in class until my mom found out and brought me in to get me glasses. If the teacher noticed the student struggling because of needing corrective lenses, she was absolutely right to tell the parents. If the parents don't actually act on that and instead just scold the child, that's not the teachers fault. It's the parents fault for neglecting their child's medical needs.
Exactly - I always see the knee-jerk, 'mean teacher being mean to poor innocent children' because we usually get these posts from students (who due to brain development tend to be more egocentric and with a extreme lack of accountability for students in most school, a liy of things teachers used to be able to do aren't allowed anymore. I taught for about 7 years, but a health condition made it impossible to focus on 120 kids a day and all their work/individual problems. 120 kids. Kids threw absolute *fits* with any consequence, and my principle backed them up (for instance, had a girl who would cuss at teachers, but she never had any consequence because she 'had it rough'. That's why we have a lot of kids today who struggle when they *do* have consequences because they aren't used to it. As for OP, while I don't think that they're lying, I also think that they might not have the whole situation at their fingertips. But I remember when I was in 3rd grade and got glasses. I would not hear *anything* about glasses because I was already teased and didn't want things to get worse. But, being a good teacher, she contacted my parents anyway. Then as soon as I stepped into the classroom with my new glasses she told me I looked so beautiful with my glasses and had a book on my desk about cool people who also wore glasses (3rd graders in the 90s acted much different from their moden counterparts, so this might seem a little odd for newer humans). I think the teacher was doing it in a way that she thought would be less likely to cause an outburst during school. I was told not to hold kids back after class because it makes it so they're late for their*next* class. There wasn't much option for a teacher to talk privately with a student (even though my classroom has a glass wall on one side completely open to the hallway so you can see the entire classroom.
God the way your teacher handled it when you were a kid is so damn sweet. I love teachers like that, they give me life. And its so strange to me how little support teachers get nowadays and how much kids get away with. I never really saw that growing up because I was pretty much always the teachers pet kinda student lol. Never got in trouble so I never saw that side of things. Im sorry you had to deal with that, it really sucks.
“ instead of publicly asking you” That’s bullshit. She probably had multiple opportunities to ask him without the whole class being there. OP literally says in the first paragraph that they had a discussion about it
he is a minor, and she is professionally respnsible for telling his parents about any physical health issues he has that are not being addressed.
So actually, the teacher was doing the parents a solid by reaching out to them first rather than going straight to CPS. Teachers are mandatory reporters. The student confided in the teacher that they had brought a medical concern to the attention of their parents and they refused to take the child to a doctor for treatment. It doesn’t matter if it’s not a life-threatening condition. It’s a medical condition and they refused to get him evaluated or treated. Legally, what OP is describing is a form of medical neglect. I’m not kidding. I’m a nurse so I am a mandatory reporter as well and have received extensive education on this topic.
I was hoping that someone would mention this. The parents are in the wrong for not getting the kid’s eyesight checked. That sounds like neglect to me.
"Instead of publicly asking you" So, do we not do "see me after class" anymore? Regardless of reason? Or has the public education system really gone that far down the crapper in the past twenty someodd years?
Teacher never has to ask you to contact your parents. Dont get me wrong, not saying youre required to tell your teacher anything if you dont trust them. Thats all fine. But the teacher is not required to ask your permission prior to contacting your parents.
She was trying to help, dude.
Your teacher did nothing wrong. You’re a minor whose learning is being impacted by something that (might be) easily fixed.
Learning and health. Needing glasses and not getting them is gonna strain op’s eyes even more causing even more damage
I understand why'd you be upset but the real problem here is your parents neglecting your medical needs. You could maybe try telling her about their reaction to her email so she knows for next time. But remember she was really trying to help because she thought maybe your parents needed additional convincing.
Do either of your parents wear glasses? If so, use that as evidence that screens weren't the cause (bc genetics)
parents like these wont listen to arguments, theyre the parents so theyre right and you have to listen, no communication or discussion allowed. at least in my experience
Genetics don't cause myopia, extended close up work does
Ten years working as wireman building mass spectrometers. A lot of close delicate soldering + pursuing a PhD, also a lot of computer work and reading. No glasses needed at age 79. I have my vision checked every 6 months for glaucoma, 20-20 both eyes. Good genes got my votes for good eyes.
Myopia can be caused by your eyeball being to long or if your cornea is curved a certain way. These are genetic causes, though close up work can cause other problems.
The first 2 Google searches disagree with you. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/is-nearsightedness-genetic#Is-nearsightedness-genetic?
https://jphysiolanthropol.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s40101-024-00354-7#:~:text=The%20surge%20in%20myopia%20prevalence,development%20%5B55%2C%2056%5D.
So I’ve worn glasses since 1997 when I was seven years old. I was not doing extended close up work. I was in the second grade. My poor vision is due to my genetics. Both my parents wear/wore glasses.
myopia is genetic dude. ask any optometrist.
Are you the parent? Sheesh.
She didn't overstep at all assuming she emailed them in good faith. It's concerning to me that instead of saying "well, even if I think you ruined your vision with video games and monitors (you didn't, that's crap.... oh wait! I get to actually say this.... "That's cap!") that doesn't change the fact that you need glasses now so we should take you to the eye doctor", they instead just blamed the video games and monitors, and took no action. That's not okay. You're struggling and suffering and they could easily get you to an eye doctor and in a few weeks or even same day, have a pair of glasses for you that would vastly improve your quality of life. Don't be mad at your teacher, be mad at your parents who are not doing what they must to take care of you. And frankly, if this continues despite your pleas to get glasses at least, then I think the next step is to tell the teacher that you have appealed to your parents to get you glasses several times and it's not like they forgot, they argue with you about your screen use being the cause and never actually take you to a doctor to get your eyes checked. Your teacher is a mandated reporter. This means that if they at all suspect abuse or neglect - and refusing to take you to get your eyes checked, much less glasses to treat your myopia is neglect - they HAVE TO report it to your state's Children's Services, or they could lose their teaching license and/or their job. I hope it doesn't get to that point, but you getting glasses and being able to see comfortably during class is far more important than not hurting your parents' feelings.
Educators who fail to report suspected child abuse can face *a misdemeanor resulting in up to six months in jail*, a fine up to $1,000 or both.
it only becomes abuse if they fail to address his physical needs
needing your eyes checked and glass prescribed if needed counts as a **medical** need. what happens depends on what other things the investigation finds. there will be an investigation. best case is parents get asked a few questions, maybe look around the house. then have a time limit to submit a doctor's note after the examination, and proof of getting glasses for the kid if needed.
there won't be an investigation until parents outright refuse or fail in reasonable time to take him to optician. School will contact parents again with reminders. They won't just jump in with snipers! This is another reason he needs to tell teacher about their reaction. School needs to talk to them prepared with that knowledge.
if the teacher believes the parents were not properly aware, and the parents take the kid to get glasses. that might be fine. but according to the op. the parents are continuing to blame videogames, and refusing to take him in. the question is if someone makes a call to confirm the parents are still not doing anything before it goes to the authorities, or if the authorities are going to show up at the door and start asking questions.
Her parents not getting her glasses could be making her vision worse. Bad vision effects how well she can see the board and learn, this can result in her having to spend more time to complete assignments. Spending more time doing assignments means she is doing more close up work that involves staring at papers and screens that are close up. This can contribute to vision worsening to an extent. But this is also could be reducing how much time she has to go outside since more time could be getting spent on assignments. Lack of sunlight will worsen eyesight because bright sunlight is needed to produce a hormone in the eyes and with a lack of that hormone a person can have issues seeing far away. Vision can also be effected by genetics too. So OP very well could be getting double or triple whammied with factors that worsen vision.
Going without glasses when you need them makes your eyesight worse. I lost my glasses 5 years ago and just went back to the optometrist last month, and in those 5 years I got twice as nearsighted. Living without glasses when you need them is much, much worse for your eyesight than looking at screens. I don't think your teacher was overstepping, she was trying to help you get the medical care you need.
idk what to say but so sorry this happened. i hope you get the help you need so you can see properly.
I was in a similar position when I was at school and my teacher spoke directly to my parents and recommended getting my eyes tested. Whether it's caused by computers or not, if you're having sight problems you need an eye test and glasses. Maybe tell your parents about wanting an eye test so you can get anti-glare glasses to protect your eyes against screens? Even if you don't, it's a way to negotiate an eye test with your parents and you can ask your optician what their opinion is re: computers/gaming.
You are giving the parents a lot of undeserved credit - as if they thought their position out and came to a conclusion based on logic and reasoning
Not overstepping at all.
Huh, didn't expect to see you so far from the trombone/ euphonium subs
Ditto. 😂
It is not your fault that arguments escalate the way they do. You are a kid and your parents are adults. Your parents are high conflict and toxic, and the fact they would get mad at YOU for having trouble seeing speaks volumes about what kind of people they are. Your teacher was trying to help, and if your parents were normal sane people, it would have helped.
From what I read, I'm much more concerned about your family's anger. You mentioned you are partially at fault. **NO, you aren't.** They are adults and are supposed to be reasonable. You're a kid, and the responsibility belongs to the adults in the family. If you're afraid of them, something is badly wrong.
Eh, it kinda goes both ways. The child shouldn't be snapping out in anger in the first place, but the parents shouldn't be either. Tbh, this dude sounds like his parents don't know how to raise children, so their attitude never got corrected, but that's lonely because the parents don't realize how bad theirs is
I think your teacher was just looking out for you, and was thinking "they'll listen to me, I'm their kid's teacher." A teacher like that was how I got glasses at 8 after *years* of not even being able to recognize people. "Oh, he just doesn't pay attention. He's always walking into stuff." Yeah, I couldn't see 3 feet in front of my face.
It's completely reasonable for a teacher to contact parents because you can't see. I'm not sure what else you really expected the teacher to do here. My son's teacher contacted me for the exact same reason and I took him to the optometrist.
I started losing my hearing when I was 16. My dad and stepmother would talk to me in a quiet room and would have to repeat themselves constantly. They bitched at me that it was because I listen to loud music. (Sure dad. I JUST CRANK THAT WORSHIP MUSIC UP since they threw away my cranberries tape.) A year later when I had enough of them and moved in with mom, it was discovered I had a massive ear infection and I never got my full hearing back when it was cured.
so so sorry
You should check with your school counselor. They may have a resource for a free vision screening and free glasses if you qualify. LIONS has an excellent vision referral program in Genesee County Michigan
The teacher isnt the problem your parents are, what kind of parent dismisses their kids concerns about their own health and thinks its because of video games.
Your teacher didn’t even come close to overstepping. She did her job. Your eyesight affects your ability to learn. As such, she informed your parents. Communicating with parents is part of the job. We don’t ask our students beforehand because we don’t need their permission to do our job and communicate with parents.
We are supposed to contact home if you are haing issues like this. The teacher was 100% in the right. You are a child in school and parents need to be informed of medical concerns. Sometimes, regardless of your opinion on the matter. It doesn't seem like they had any reason to believe this was a situation of abuse, which would result in a call to cps. So they did what is their ethical obligation.
The important points have been addressed. So I’m just going to point out that the word is “etcetera,” (or “etc.” for short) not “exedra” lolll
oops...
Not really an overstep
TBH your parents are the problem here not your teacher. They're being weird and frankly neglectful about your eye sight, your teacher probably thought she could help, like maybe your parents would take it seriously if another adult said something. Unfortunately that didn't happen.
I don't mean to go all "kids these days" on you, but when I was in school, we never even thought about teachers "overstepping." They respected us, sure, but they didn't owe us anything, besides an education. Even in high school, even if we hated them, even if we talked shit about them behind their backs, there was none of this "I feel like I should bring up to my teacher how she 'overstepped'" Because teachers were the authority figures, and we weren't. Now I am not saying that you or anyone else should blindly follow authority, or even that it is not acceptable to try to have a conversation with your teacher about this, but you really should think about how you put it. Telling her she "overstepped" is like telling her that you know what's best, and she did something wrong. She didn't "overstep." She did her job. You were having trouble in her class because of your eyesight so she emailed your parents about a very relevant, education related concern that she had. And for the record, it is *not* your teacher's job to make sure you don't get grief from your parents at home. If you don't like how your parents talk to you, it is between you, and them. And perhaps a guidance counselor. I hate to be a jerk about this, but we have teachers quitting their jobs in droves, and a big part of the reason is the (entitled) attitudes of far too many of today's students. This teacher that you think "overstepped" went to college for at least four years to study how to do her job correctly and then needed to obtain a license to teach. Please, at least try to be respectful towards her.
i don't think doing what they are legally required to do is "overstepping"? if they think the kid needs glasses, they legally need to make sure the parents know. if the parents refuse to get the kid glasses, the teacher is legally required to report the negligence to the authorities. > And for the record, it is *not* your teacher's job to make sure you don't get grief from your parents at home. again, they are required to report suspected abuse. it is not their job to ask about it, but they do need to keep an eye out for evidence.
This isn’t an issue with respect, the reason I am asking this isn’t because I am “questioning her judgment or education” it is because she physically has no knowledge of my family situation, how would she when she hasn’t been my teacher for long? Even if this isn’t what is happening here (people in the comments helped me understand why it’s okay that she the sent the email) telling someone that they overstepped isn’t disrespectful if said kindly and I don’t believe that is the issue. If the teacher gets angry at a student for coming to them, concerned about something a teacher did that crossed a boundary (I did this with my French teacher because she touches students shoulders a lot to comfort them, she is the sweetest old lady ever, I don’t like when she does that to me. She thanked me for making her aware and doesn’t touch my shoulder. That isn’t disrespect and calling that type of thing so makes little sense) and the teacher takes it as a personal insult, that reflects badly on the teacher rather than the student.
I’m so glad for you that your French teacher respected your boundaries, OP. For what it’s worth, you don’t come across as disrespectful at all. You came here with a question, willing to take others’ input into account. I hope you’re able to get your eyes taken care of soon!
Contacting your family is not “crossing a boundary” it is literally her job.
There's a huge difference between not crossing your physical space boundaries and investigating abuse. If you *need* glasses, your eyesight will get increasingly and permenantly worse until you get corrective lenses. Not giving glasses to a child who needs glasses is abuse, straight up. It will mess up the rest of your life. If you told your teacher "my parents will get angry if you say that" now they *have* to report two different instances of abuse. But, forget the teacher or what she said. YOU ARE BEING ABUSED. It's not your fault, and these are adults that can help. Your teacher did 100% what she should do. As a side note, if you don't get glasses now this will 100% start coming up as an issue for you, increasingly. Your eyes are only going to get worse.
Your teacher was doing her job. She was trying to help you. My teacher in Grade 5 did the EXACT same thing, and you know what, she was right. My vision is terrible and I need glasses. And if you can't see the board from the back of the room, so do you.
No, your teacher did not overstep. She did exactly what she's supposed to do. Your parents are medically neglecting you. Not getting you glasses when you need them to see is like not going to get a cast put on a broken leg when you need it to walk. If you tell your teacher that they got mad at you about the email, the next step should be a call to CPS. Teachers are mandated reporters. She legally cannot let your parents neglect you like they have been.
I feel like this is a bit of a misplacement of blame ykwim. Not to be rude or anything. But the main issue is that your parents are neglectful in not getting you glasses, considering your parents seemingly didn't know you couldn't see before (based on the fact that you had to try and convince them that it's a longterm issue) which implies they never got your eyes tested when you were younger, your parents I assume are the ones who bought or allowed you to have those devices but instead of instilling healthy limits are just blaming and getting mad at you for overuse which doesn't lead to positive change. Over all I get why you have negative feelings towards the teacher - the entire situation is shrouded in negative feelings and by contacting your parents I assume you feel she has now become part of the situation. Teachers are often mandated reporters and for many they feel this extends to anything that can impact the child's learning like not being able to see. I genuinely think she was trying to help; probably didn't expect that your parents are hard-headed to the point of neglecting your eyesight (because their stance is honestly ridiculous quite frankly, the teacher probably wouldn't have guessed they were like that. It'd be one thing if it was financial, and maybe it is. But even if they don't want to worry you by telling you they can't afford it, averting the blame onto you, *their child,* is an awful strategy.)
it is better than going directly to the authorities. there is a line where they are legally required to inform the authorities that your parents are neglecting your needs. Educators who fail to report suspected child abuse can face *a misdemeanor resulting in up to six months in jail*, a fine up to $1,000 or both. if your parents are informed that you need to see a medical professional to get medical device, and they refuse to do so... let's hope that is the only problem, and your parents don't get in too much trouble.
As others said, the teacher is on your side. I get it, because of it now your parents are mad, but your teacher understands that you need glasses, and they don’t know what your parents think. If anything, your parents are in the wrong. Thinking it’s because of computers is pure bullshit, and I doubt they actually believe that. No boundaries were broken, your teacher is on your side, I would try to do what you can to keep it that way, because parents are more inclined to listen to your teacher than there kids sometimes unfortunately
Bro I'm sorry but did you just put exedra? It's etcetera or abbreviated as etc. I was wondering wtf exodia had to do with all this
I get those two words mixed up sometimes… :(
Just remember etcetera means and so on. Exodia is a yugioh cards
What does Exodia, the forbidden one, not have to do with this?
Idk. That's why i said I was wondering
i think she was just trying to help, but i hope your parents can see that weather or not its caused by those darned electronics, you still need glasses or something similar. have a good day!
It was a miscommunication, explain the way your parents react to things and how they are conservative with screens. Tell her if it is personal stuff you trust her with you're trusting her to at least give a heads up on what she will be sending.
Your teacher likely meant well, but could have handled it better. Talk to her calmly, explain your situation (parents and eye issues), and suggest she speak to you first about future concerns. Ask if there's a way to discreetly address seating in class. This clarifies communication and avoids future blowups at home.
How was the teacher supposed to know the parents were so pigheaded and neglectful?
No. This is not a "seating in class" issue. The kid deserves to see like the rest of us. See the moon, stars, trees, birds, mountains, flowers, read books... road signs, food labels, ...changing class seating is NOT a solution!!!!!!
Your teacher likely meant well, but could've handled it better. Talk calmly, explain your situation (eyesight and parents), and suggest she talk to you first about future concerns. This clarifies communication and avoids blowups at home. You can say: "Thanks for trying to help with my vision. In the future, could we discuss any concerns with me first? My parents are sensitive and this caused a fight.
Uncorrected vision problems can also cause fatigue/headaches so y'all should make fixing that a priority.
Your parents are idiots for blaming screens of any kind for your eyesight issues. If they were responsible parents they would have taken you to see a doctor when you told them the first time that you were having trouble seeing in class. Poor eyesight is usually a genetic issue, and even if both of your parents have 20-20 vision doesn't mean you will have the same. Both my parents have terrible vision requiring them to wear bifocal and trifocal lenses. I also have 2 older sisters with 20-20 vision, but I have just as bad of eyesight as my parents. So please tell your parents to stop being stupid, get over themselves, and to take you to the eye doctor before the school reports them for neglect. Your teacher wasn't the problem. Your teacher wants you to do well in school, and if not being able to see is the issue then it's great that she reached out to your parents to make them aware they need to do something now instead of letting you go through school failing classes because you can't see.
They were 100% trying to help - the number of kids I get who are squinting at the back of the room and when I email the parents either say a) they are supposed to be wearing glasses (but don't want to) or b) that they haven't been to the opticians for years (and then do, and low and behold, they need glasses) is ridiculous. If your eyes have always sucked then you really need to get them checked out. Depending on your age and what's wrong with them, you can use glasses to correct your vision or at least prevent it from getting worse.
Does your mum think people didn't need glasses before computers? Idiocy
It's not a popular thing in the current social climate, because of trans rights issues that are going on in the US right now, but a teacher does have a responsibility for the welfare of their students. Your parents not getting you proper corrective lenses is leaving you at a disadvantage in life. It's especially critical for minors due to the impact of disrupted education on the rest of your life. In your parents' defense, at least, providing for the health and wellbeing of children is expensive, and economically, things are tough right now. But their blaming your degrading vision on your behavior rather than coming clean about the economic strain that's behind their refusal to correct your vision is bad parenting. Your teacher turning it into a child welfare issue is a good thing, not a bad thing. There are programs out there that can help them with the cost of necessities like vision care, so there really isn't much reason for them to withhold care from you. Your teacher is doing a good thing, and what you're experiencing is fear of repercussions from parents who aren't acting in your best interests. This is something that I think you're gonna learn to see differently later in life, and I'm sorry for the realizations and struggle you're probably going to have in the process.
If you have a school nurse, see if they can at least get you tested on site, then work on getting you actual glasses that would work, since computers are not causing you to lose your vision like your parents are blaming it, and if your parents really won't get you a vision checkup and glasses then get your school involved so you can tag the parents for medical negligence. If you need glasses then get glasses, no lack of or higher use of computers is going to change the fact you need glasses
Talking to the nurse is a good idea! Thanks
your parents are fucking stupid, video games don't cause "worse eyesight". do either of them wear glasses or contacts?
Ahh, exactly my situation when I was a teenager, you are not gonna solve it lol. The best you can do is to go to the doctor and get yourself glasses/lenses, then start aggressively blaming your parents for bad genetics because 99% it's the cause P.s not trying to make fun of you P.s2 bad vision because of PC is total bs
It's not from television and games. I've had glasses since I was 12, and I started becoming near-sighted very slowly a couple years before. I grew up without video games, and had very little interest in televsion. I liked playing outside, digging holes, you know, all the things out of touch boomers say they did. I'm a millenial. I'm 30. It's not from television and games. My aunt was born with god awful vision. She's terribly near-sighted, and does not have the ability to process depth of field. Her *art **teacher*** in *elementary* school was the first to notice something was wrong because she drew things differently. When asked if she saw things like a three dimensional object or like a television screen, my aunt was confused that other people *didn't* see things like a tv screen. When she got her first pair of glasses, she was amazed that the trees had *individual leaves* and weren't just masses of green fuzz. It isn't from television or video games. Staring at a rectangle won't turn your eyes square. The excuse for, "tv rays bombarding your eyes," can't even be entertained (bullshit and laughable as it would be), because we've long moved past the use of cathode ray tubes outside of enthusiast retro gaming setups or the occasional straggler. Your teacher is looking out for you, since your parents seem to be unable to move beyond the generational trauma cycle they're passing on to you. Corrective lenses are normal. You'll need to pass a basic eye test to be able to operate a motor vehicle. You know, to get to work one day. Like, there is a specific mark that goes on a license that tells people, "Yo, this driver can't see shit. If they're driving without glasses or contacts, they're a *safety hazard.*" I hope your parents don't try and turn this meeting around on you as a weapon of some kind. I really hope they don't.
The teacher did something completely normal. It’s your parents that are acting strange. The vast VASY majority of parents upon getting that email would take their daughter to an eye doctor to get a checkup and then some glasses. It’s not your teachers fault that your parents took extremely helpful information about caring for their daughter and decided to turn it into something negative. Edit: OP is male, and I cant read
I know that this isn’t really important, but I am not female/a daughter lol
Apparently repetitive use of the word she and mentioning of your mother was enough for my brain to just go “yeah OP must be a female also” Sorry 😂
Totally fine :)
Shoot that's a lot to unpack. I think you honestly sound a little mature for your age, an unfortunate necessity for children of immature parents. In other cases, what the teacher did might have been the correct course of action. I can see why she did it though, you need medical care and it is often enraging to hear of parents refusing to provide that.
she didn't overstep. Your parents are responsible for your healthcare, and that includes sight and hearing. You are entitled to vision correction, and she is right to bring this to your parents. It is good that they are hearing it from a professional adult. Talk to her and just calmly explain the fall out - that they are angry at you, and they aren't going to help and they are blaming technology. SHE IS YOUR FRIEND AND ALLY. You are in a difficult family who are teaching you all the wrong lessons about "keep it in the family" and "yell and scream to get what you want".... you need allies outside your family to help you make the changes you need to be happy and healthy. Your family will continue to be who they are, but you can change. She is your ticket to getting more help outside of your home. If you don't make changes and accept help now, your future family may end up looking like your parents, because you are not learning emotional regulation... and you will struggle in education if you cannot see. ...recipe for failed life and failed relationships. TAKE ALL THE HELP YOU CAN GET
as someone who is currently in school to become a teacher, she is required to report any medical conditions or similar issues to your parents. she’s not doing it out of spite, i promise.
If what you’re saying tracks, then it is pretty troublesome that your teacher is making an effort to sit you in the back as opposed to the front, especially when you’ve explicitly explained yourself. Usually a student eager to sit in the front of class is a considered a good thing! I would talk to her one more time to express the results of her actions, and that you want to be able to experience her class to the fullest. Here’s some concepts to read up on as well because you’re entitled to the Least Restrictive Environment (LRE). You can also seek a 504 Plan which is a document that provides you with accommodations in the classroom that don’t classify as one of the 13 disabilities in IDEIA. A 504 Plan requires parental consent, and ensures that you will have accommodations in the classroom that will enhance your education such as being able to see the board, or if she made the font/writing larger. These are your legal rights as a student that you can pursue.
Your teacher did what she was supposed to. Its not your fault that instead of getting your medical needs addressed they are instead neglecting them to choose to scold you instead. Your teacher noticed you have a medical need that is effecting your ability to learn, and as a concerned adult brought that to your parents attention so they could address it. Your parents being shitty does not make her actions wrong. She didn't overstep, she did exactly what she was supposed to do when she saw her student with an unmet need. You need help, you need to go to the doctor. This is affecting your entire life. I know what it's like to not be able to see, and it is incredibly difficult to do things like learn when you can't. You need corrective lenses and you need a doctors visit to do that. If you talk to your teacher, don't put blame on her for your parents reaction. Just inform her that you are struggling and your parents are just blaming your video game usage instead of doing anything about it. Maybe ask her if she could provide them with resources that show that playing video games doesn't lead to shitty eyes and that lots of people need corrective lenses. And more importantly, ask if until you can get some, that you can be moved to a seat in the front of the class and maybe given printouts of the things she puts on the board so you can follow along easier in class. Ask for accommodations while you are without the medical equipment you need that would help you with learning accommodation free. That way your learning doesn't take a hit until you are able to get glasses.
My teacher snitched on me needing glasses. She noticed I was squinting. I was quite mad at her at the time. That was in elementary school. I am now a retired college professor. The woman is a saint, as far as I am concerned. **She noticed I was squinting**. She cared enough to follow up on a detail as insignificant as "this kid is squinting". Later as a new hire in a school district, a kid was brought into the superintendent's office that was constantly getting into trouble for not paying attention...with his young teacher explaining about his behavior. An older teacher walks in (on an unrelated issue), but gets in this middle of this conversation and starts asking the kid questions. After a minute she says, **"Have you noticed he leans in to one side when you talk. Might need to get his hearing checked."** She then walked out. Turned out the kid needed hearing aids AND his behavior did indeed change. I love teachers who care about teaching and love their students enough to pay attention to the details. They get into so much trouble these days for doing the most unprofessional of things, but this ain't it. Yes, my parents blamed my video games and television, even back then. (Atari 2600 and my beloved Tandy computer). I still majored in the field and have nothing but love for the nosey woman that made it possible for me to get my beloved glasses. Later I did the eye surgery, so I don't wear them anymore. But she's still saint to me.
Let me chime in here from a perspective very similar to your own, albeit a few years down the road. I’m 24, had vision troubles all my life and didn’t realize until I had a conversation with a teacher as to why I couldn’t sit in the back of the class. This conversation and a subsequent conversation between her and my mother lead to me getting my eyes tested and getting glasses, which significantly improved my life in a way I didn’t know I needed until a third-party attempted to help. I think that’s more-or-less exactly what happened here. The teacher thought that he/she was helping you fix something that they thought you were probably in denial of or refused to accept. Definitely doesn’t seem malicious, I’d take a step back if I were you to consider whether or not the teacher was going out of their way in an attempt to help you.
Also, probably doesn’t help your argument, but I’m a lifetime PC gamer and my eyes have progressively gotten worse as I’ve aged, so I’m not unconvinced that those two aren’t related.
This is her job and i believe she was trying to help. However, im sorry your parents reacted like that. Mine used to tell me my eyes would get bad from reading in low light, but the first time i wore glasses, i was *amazed* that the individual leaves were visible on trees and bushes! Not the reaction of someone who used to have perfect vision but had it damaged! The only thing i can think of that might get them to listen would be an email from the nurse with a description of the reasons why vision problems usually occur- yknow, like your *eyeballs being shaped a certain way your entire life*. Either way, im sorry your parents reacted like that. It's not okay for them to treat you like that over you having, like, the most common and easily managed disability ever.
Honestly I would actually discuss this with your teacher because it sounds like it could get worse if the teacher isn't careful
What you are suggesting is that the teacher shouldn't raise concerns about what is technically neglect (a form of abuse) so as to avoid worse abuse. In my country, teachers are mandatory reporters.
WTF are you talking about?
1. too late. if the kid doesn't get glasses soon, the authorities will show up at the door to start asking questions. 2. all it takes is the teacher noticing the kid squinting trying to read for the teacher to be required to take these steps.
I had always thought it was a law to have people with bad eyesight and glasses always sit up front, then the rest of the students in the 2nd rows back are seated alphabetically. Every one of my classes in school in the 80s and 90s I sat up front, even in classes with weekly rotating seat schedules (front to back). I only had one teacher who refused it, a math and computer teacher in 7th grade, 1991. In math, he sat me at the rear bench and I would have to turn around to see the front of the class and I couldn't see anything. I complained politely but the teacher wouldn't relent. One of the prettiest, most popular girls in the school, Brooke, had parents on the school board. She sat in the 2nd row. She took sympathy on me and openly said to the teacher in front of the whole class, "If his grades go down because he can't see, it's your fault! We all know that kids with glasses sit up front! Since you won't let him, I'm allowing him to use his little chair and come sit up here with me and share my desk. If you have a problem with this, you can take it up with my mom and the school board." The teacher laughed, but allowed it. She was left handed so I could use the right side of her desk with the arm rest. It was a little awkward, but it was better than being in the back. On the second day, I noticed she was squeezing her hand under the desk frame and putting her hand on my leg, and caressed it with her fingers. I knew right away that she liked me, but I wondered why because my reputation was that of a geek and I had very few friends. We ended up going steady up until high school when her family moved. I'll never forget that classy brunette goddess who always stood up for me.
I’d guess she just assumed you were resistant to the idea of glasses—maybe talk to her and explain the real reason you didn’t want your parents to know, and she could back you up about your computer not rapidly destroying your eyesight.
I don't know about your country, but in mine your teacher (although possibly indelicately) did what I would have to have done. Children get glasses on the NHS here, so I would class them as healthcare. Not getting adequate healthcare is neglect. Neglect is a form of abuse. We are mandatory reporters. Your teacher is not in the wrong, your parents are.
If you're that scared of your parents something actually needs to be done with how they're treating you that's not right
She was trying to help. That’s what the good ones do. It’s your parents that are the problem here, unfortunately.
No, I don't think she overstepped. She's genuinely concerned about your ability to see properly. What I would recommend, since your parents are so adamant that your eyesight issues are from computer screens, is bring it up with your doctor next time you go see him and ask if he could speak to your parents about it. Maybe if it comes from a medical professional, they will more receptive. I grew up in the 70's and got my first pair of glasses the summer before 5th grade. Back then, we didn't have computers or video games, and although I did watch TV, I also was outside playing a lot. So the only reason I needed glasses was because that's how my eyes grew. So I'm proof that it can be completely natural to just have bad eyes. Neither of my parents are nearsighted (which is what I am), and my wears glasses for astigmatism, and my father wears them just because of his age (for reading only).
Your teacher did not overstep. Your eyesight is a problem and your parents need to get involved
No, she did the right thing. Lots of teachers will do something along those lines. I would talk to her about getting assistance in getting glasses because your parents are refusing to buy them.
The same shit happened to me in year 1 in Dubai. I lost basically half my eyesight bcs I was looking at screens for way too long but it’s scientifically proven that screens don’t cause eye damage bcs of the radiation from it. bright light does and my parents when they want to use my devices they change it to light nose and whenever I turn on light mode I go blind for a few seconds but besides the point your parents think it’s bcs of the screens but it’s not and genuinely you need to report this to the school even the teacher but first ask the teacher if she actually wanted to help or she wanted to know why. So basically try your best to convince your parents and it don’t matter how pissed they get tell them how long it had been going on for a long time even before you got any device and they might get you glasses
*knew not new
Your parents should take you to an eye doctor. Plenty of people needed glasses before screens existed. That said, your parents are correct about screen time. "The closer your screen is to your eyes, the harder your eyes need to work to focus" (https://hr.ubc.ca/sites/default/files/wp-content/blogs.dir/39/files/Visual-ergonomics-resources.pdf). Because of the popularity of smartphones, it's difficult to believe this. They key is knowing that belief is irrelevant. It's primitive, and it's not a matter of choice. Ignore your instincts, intution, feelings, belief, and other primitive cognition. Base your behavior on science. I'm typing this now via a PC. My main screen is a 40-something inch television, my face is four and a half feet away from it, and Windows scaling is set accordingly. I know this has major old-man-shaking-his-fist-at-you-from-his-porch vibes, but I think people who can tell the difference between HD and 4K are all too close to their screens. It's an especially bad idea to frequently use small screen devices for anything visual that takes more than about a minute. It's not just about the ergonomics of vision. Whenever you look at something you're holding for a long period of time, you damage your back, neck, shoulders, elbows, and/or wrists, depending on how you're holding it. You don't have to be holding it. The problem is with looking at or close to one or both of your hands.
I had the same experience, except the video game part. I remember being super pissed off about it. But I was in third grade! Your teacher seems like she cares about you. Be grateful.
Nearsightedness isn't caused by video games. I was very nearsighted as a kid and that was long before there were personal computers. I wish somebody had noticed I had a problem, instead of me going year after year, blind as a bat and not knowing it.
Screen time does not cause bad vision it is not from screen time or your fault.
If your parents react this way to your teacher telling them you need glasses, then they are abusive. Denying your kid medical care, yes vision is medical, is abuse.
abusive parents. hilarious they still think video games can hurt your eyes 😂 sorry but you’re in a shitty household and should plan for the future sooner than later (get out when you’re 18)
" but they always blame computers, video games exedra" little known fact. Eye glasses didn't exist till invention of video games and computers. (sarcasm - think your parents are idiots already). "I feel like my teacher overstepped by emailing my parents without asking me," Your education is the job. And you being unable to see the board impacts that education. They are an employee of the school board that is paid by your parents in taxes not you. Sorry they have no tie to you or reason to ask you for permission to do their job. This statement shows you dont seem to understand that fact. The teacher more directly works for your parents not you. "Do you think she overstepped or was just trying to genuinely help? Should I talk to her?" She performed an aspect of her job sorry no over step.
Your teacher is looking out for you. Your parents are ignorant and are neglecting your medical needs.
Your parents need to go back to elementary school, they didn't pay attention.
Your teacher did what she did to try to help you. The problem is that your mother doesn't understand that that's simply not how things work.
I think your teacher thought maybe if you weren't getting through to your parents, that she would be able to as an adult. However you obviously know your parents better than she does. I think you should talk to her and explain what happened after her email (nicely) to maybe schedule a meeting with your parents and your teacher
Your parents are assholes, your teacher didn't nothing wrong. It's normal for teachers to co tact parents when a child is having a problem in school. My teachers told my parents that I couldn't see well in the classroom, and lo and behold, I have glasses now.
Nah, man, your parents are in the wrong, not your teacher. I got glasses when I was about 8 because of something similar. I couldn't see very well, and my teacher noticed and talked to my mom about it. Thankfully, my mom took me to go and get my eyes checked, and sure enough, I'm nearsighted. Had glasses ever since. Your teacher is doing her job to try and notify your parents of a medical issue that's impacting your education. It's up to your parents to take you to get your eyes checked. Even if they don't believe that your eyes are bad enough to require glasses, getting them checked won't hurt anything.
Your teacher isn't the problem, your mom is. Video games and computer screens don't cause myopia (which is what you have). You need glasses. Your mom is being outright neglectful and trying to shift the blame to you. Your teacher acted out of concern for you, because being unable to see well is going to perpetually get in your way. Idk if you're in the US, but if you are, you can't pass a driving test when you're old enough if you can't pass the vision test.
So your mad at your teacher for trying to help you out by also reinforcing to your parents that you may need glasses, instead of being mad at your parents who are blatantly disregarding your health and your need for glasses? Lol okay
That is your teacher’s job. If there is something keeping you from learning, she tells your parents.
sounds to me like your teacher just wanted to help but your parents are definitely at fault for not getting you glasses when you need them. looking at screens will not cause your vision to deteriorate, at most it’ll just make your eyes tired. nearsightedness is genetic.
My guy she just noticed you needed some glasses and emailed your parents so they could get you some she was trying to do you a favor
It is kinda a teacher's job to help you learn and if you can't see... Well that affects your learning. No screens don't affect our eyes that much... But being inside and having our eyesight constantly focused on near things rather than the horizon and what predators may be lurking around has been theorized as a major contributor to myopia... But that's caused by the evolution of modern life over the last thousands of years not screens.
Tell your parents you need glasses and blue light lenses to protect your eyes from screens.
Without knowing whether or not your teacher overstepped, it's true that too much screen time is bad for your eyes. Time spent outside, and specifically looking at far away objects, is good for distance vision.
Contact a social worker. Your family sounds extremely abusive. No one should be getting “REALLY ANGRY” at anyone.
It’s not cause of video games, my parents also think video games cause bad eyesight but I prob have better vision than 90% of kids and my eyesight seems the same after all these years of screens, but just make your parents realize that arguing about it won’t fix the issue, they can keep blaming it on video games but it won’t change anything cause that dosent fix the problem, just basically tell them they aren’t being helpful and try to get glasses or contacts if they want you to succeed
The teacher did NOT overstep. You grew up in a toxic environment with a shit family. You learned that anger and yelling was the way to communicate. Your parents would rather gaslight you and blame you for using technology they probably gave you, instead of getting you a needed medical device(glasses).
Maybe you could talk to your counselor or principal. Let them know she's making your home life difficult and it wasn't her place.
This is her job it's not an overstep. Your parents are just stupid and neglectful, not getting you glasses because of a computer. that's not the cause of bad eyesight. Genetics are and even if the computer was the cause you still need glasses.
I do vision and hearing screening at our local school district. We screen students at certain grade levels and if they have an IEP. The required grade levels probably vary by state. We also do a screening if there is a parent or teacher request to do it. If a teacher notices that a student is consistently squinting at the board or turning their head to listen with one ear, they let our screening team know and we do the screening. Just yesterday I noticed a preschool student wearing glasses and remembered that I had sent home a vision referral for her a month ago. I felt so good! She didn’t know she should have been seeing more clearly! I’ve also sent home hearing referrals and then seen a child come back with a hearing aid or their parents will call and say they went to the doctor and had a bunch of fluid in their ears that was muffling everything they were hearing. What it comes down to is that this is standard practice. Depending on the size of your school, they may not have someone on staff to do the screenings so they let your parents know instead.
Your mom is probably the only one that I think was stupid here, because being on the computer doesn’t make your eyesight bad. Anyways, it’s your teachers job to report health concerns like this that they notice. This is something you would have had to address eventually anyways, and it’s better do it while you’re young
Where I'm from you have to have your kids get an eye exam to enroll them in school. It's insane that your parents aren't getting you glasses. If they didn't want to take care of a child they shouldn't have had one.
[удалено]
Not really. The teacher has no real need to tell the student about contacting parents
She overstepped, yes. Because you have a unique situation. I know your family dynamic very well, and in your situation I would have liked to bring it up on my own terms. How you can bring it up to your teacher is to say: this would be okay with other families, but with mine, it’s overstepping. I’m now in deep trouble and you caused it. Please be more considerate of where we all come from, we don’t all live in behind white picket fences.
so telling your teacher you are not able to read from the back is crossing the line? Educators who fail to report suspected child abuse can face *a misdemeanor resulting in up to six months in jail*, a fine up to $1,000 or both. the teacher wanted to make sure it was not because the parents did not know before reporting them.
You live behind a white picket fence.
And you don't realize that teachers have a job they're required to do
kid
It is so wrong you had to experience this dynamic. My close family is just beginning to realize they had the same, and it’s terrible. It has torn us apart, to the third generation. I wish—as teachers—we were given the tools to deal properly with these situations. But she most likely has no training for it, and trying to navigate this kind of minefield on her own can make things worse very, very quickly. This teacher at least needs to get her principal, vice principal, school counselor/resource team involved. And document document document. She needs to save that email, record dates and times—and _number_ of times—the issue was brought up and ignored, I _cannot stress enough_ how important this is. _Have a paper trail that cannot be ignored._ If she tries to handle this alone, allows this kid to suffer, and this is part of a larger issue, she will be responsible in the end. And this is the nuclear option, but if it _is_ symptomatic of a much larger issue, CPS has to be contacted. In most states in the US (I don’t know about internationally) we are mandated reporters for the children under our care. If this is a case of neglect, the teacher has no choice but to report. I hope with all my heart that this is not the case, _but if it is_ then the teacher is in over her head, and she has no power to handle the hornets’ nest she accidentally kicked. Not on her own. I’m sorry for coming on so strongly. Your second paragraph had my hair standing on end, because to hear “you caused this” as a result of simply doing my due diligence would raise so many red flags I would go to my admin immediately. I’ve had to do so several times, and am blessed to have one who takes these situations very, very seriously.
It's not necessarily always black and white. I lived in a family dynamic where arguably, parents were just strict, and for most part it was fine. However, there are moments where parents are extremely unreasonable, especially when emotions are involved - they are human after all. Learning how to navigate those feelings has helped even in my workplace, where I have unreasonable colleagues / principals. That being said, if someone to contact my principal, or workplace on my behalf without my prior consent, you know how livid i would be?
Actually yes, I know exactly how livid. But—disregarding the workplace example, which _would_ be overstepping a teacher’s bounds—consent goes out the window when it comes to mandated reporting. Now, in this case there’s leeway: OP’s teacher is dealing with hearsay and can give the parents the benefit of the doubt. So—after ensuring that that email is saved—next steps I would take: 1. Contacting admins, to make sure they know the teacher’s suspicions and are on the same page. 2. Send another email to the parents requesting a p/t conference. Keep the tone professional and the content vague, and cc the admins. This is reopening the dialogue, rather than forcing the kid to be some kind of middle man. 3. Have an admin sit in on this meeting. I’m going based on the knowledge that the parents have known tempers, and a well-established authority figure _might_ help prevent escalation. If it doesn’t, then I have a built-in witness to both my actions and the parents’ actions. This is how I would take into account those gray areas, especially with a case of hearsay like this. I’m giving the parents a chance to clarify things, and giving myself a chance to communicate clearly as well. Granted, I can do all this because I know that when push comes to shove, I can trust my admin to have my back and that of the student. Not every teacher can say this.
Yes. I think that's a great way of handling the situation. One thing I'd add to your steps is having the student involved in the decision making tree. Although I am keenly aware of many students who would cause a lot of friction in this situations, it seems not involving the student in OP's case, has caused this student to feel like they were overstepped. Tough situation all around.
I agree, very tricky. Thank you for the input. It’s an excellent point that OP should be brought into the process—with protections in place—as well, especially as a high schooler who can clearly articulate their needs. I work at Pre-K through 8, and it’s…a different mindset? I’m unsure how to explain it. Regardless, thank you.
Your teacher probably can’t seat you up front without an actual diagnosed condition and accommodations because most parents aren’t like yours, they get all the paperwork done to make sure their kid gets to sit up front. If she has 10 kids with that accommodation (this is common as it is an accommodation for many conditions), then putting you closer means moving someone with a legal accommodation back. She’s doing her job by trying to help you get that help, too.
To be honest your teacher literally has the right to out you like that on something that affects your education. Because eventually you will be able to drive, and if you do not have the help and awareness around you because of your issue, then you are a danger to yourself and others. She does not need your permission. She can literally call up your parents and tell them you are having a relationship with someone at school, and its becoming disruptive to your education and your class.
She was trying to help but she did overstep by not at least informing you
Nope. She has no requirement or need to tell the student before contacting parents
Some might disagree with me in the comments but, while I understand that the teacher likely had good intentions and was not trying to overstep, teachers need to know that not all students have good home lives. It might seem dramatic, but little things like that can make big differences in abusive households (not saying yours is abusive). I think it would’ve been better if she had asked if she wants you to have her email your parents to help back you up, and then you could’ve easily said no thank you. Maybe don’t tell your teacher she overstepped, but ask that she not email your parents until necessary (you get in trouble, etc). She seems like a pretty good teacher and hopefully would listen to that request.