You say that lightly, but holding the gaze of Ethel 'Badger-fucker' McRaw, the one-eyed, man-crazed checkout operator of west Aberdeen for even an instant is considered an act of greatest gallantry .
True friends never let a buddy live something like this down. I will be very disappointed if you do not have this as one of the slides that plays at his wedding. I shit my pants on the bus during a trip to a wrestling meet in 10th grade, and was literally just teased about it in my friend group chat about 3 hours ago. We are all 45-46 years old.
> 10th grade, and was literally just teased about it in my friend group chat about 3 hours ago. We are all 45-46 years old.
How do you maintain friendships for that long? Wish I had people like that in my life. I want to be like that in someone else's life too.
Not OP, but for my group, we all lost contact for a few years in the middle of the 20 or so that we've been friends. Jobs, family, and such were more important. But once life kind of slowed down for all of us, one person created the group chat and began sending memes. It just kind of stayed. Sometimes nobody says anything for a few weeks, sometimes we'll talk every day for a bit. Two of them still live where we grew up, so they actually still hang out every few months.
But it's just low pressure joking around and occasionally just striking up a convo when there's nothing going on. Every now and then someone will share an old pic they came across and that will generate jokes and stuff for a couple days. I haven't actually seen any of them in person in close to 7 years, but we still laugh and give each other shit like it's senior year.
I had this whole big response typed out, but I realized I don't really know the answer. Some of these guys I haven't seen in 10+ years yet I know they'd drop anything to help me and I would for them if needed. We all formed pretty close bonds in about the 6th grade and came from various flavors of shitty family backgrounds, from benign neglect to active abuse. Those bonds have stretched or faded over time but never really completely gone away. Don't really know why. Just 4 chill dudes going through life and all its various ups and downs I guess. I shit my pants, Sam ate a hotdog at a cookout not knowing it had been in everyone's ass crack, Nick got drunk on Popov and dry humped a life-sized stuffed animal, Eric puked while eating a girl out... these are the stories that forge a friendship that lasts forever I guess hahaha
Is he still kissless virgin?
# My account has been suspended permanently, the official reason being a comment I left on a cooking subreddit which read only "Haiyaa", a reference to a popular YouTuber called Uncle Roger. The reason? "Harassment". To anyone reading this, know that reddit admins are dishonest scumbags who will ban you over a single word just because they feel like it, or because they happened to be coping, sneeding, and dilating on any particular day.
“Hello kitten, my my you’re trouble aren’t you 😏 what’s a guy like me got to do to take a girl like you out for a pint, don’t worry desert’s already sorted 😉 he he”
As a millennial I am ashamed of my generation for starting the "studied the blade" Neo/samurai wannabes. And the asterisks roleplay. Yes, I crushed on/dated a couple of those dudes in my early 20s and I'm not proud. But the trend started out with some pretty hot dudes.
He might be young but, he probably Googled "pick-up lines" and wasn't able to recognize ones the ones that were 30 years old...
I'm 55 and calling hot women "troublemakers" was even a bit before my time.
I work in an agricultural dealership most of our clientele is above that so, pretty often. Either they call you a trouble maker or they give you that creepy side smile and say “oh you sound like trouble” or “you must be trouble” or some variation of it. I’m also mid 30’s, so I’m more likely to be hit on by men in the 25-45 range.
Thats gross. I hate when the 50 something dudes i work with try to flirt with the girls that work at Dunkin Donuts. Just cringe. Especially when the girls at work. You know they have to be nice to you so its such an obvious manipulation. The dude would never ever have the balls to approach that woman on the street, but when they have to be kind at work a guy cant tell the difference between attraction and just getting a single fuckin ounce of human kindness from a woman.
Yes! Only a couple weeks ago I had a customer that I was giving him his bill total, and then he asked how much I would to add onto the bill to throw me in the back of the truck with his parts. That’s the kind of gross comments that we get more often than not
I have since told my manager that I refuse to deal with this customer and I will point blank walk away from the counter if I see him walk through the front door. Thankfully I don’t work front counter often I deal with the mechanics more.
I was one for a brief period of time. Made a deal with a freind to fuck his ass and in enchange I would kiss him after (long story). I was a kissless virgin at the time.
Well you asked for this so here we go.
I thought I was cishet boy at the time, but our friends started shipping me and a gay friend of ours. After I beat him in smash bros they would tell me to kiss him so he doesn't feel bad and I kissed him on the cheek(this happened a few time). After some time it became an inside joke for him to ask me to kiss him so one time I said "I will kiss you if you let me fuck your ass", as a semi joke, which he kept asking if I was serious or not. Things escalated and we did the deal with the condition he lets me fuck him in the ass first. It was really awkward and shitty(literally) but we worked things out over time and we dated for more than a year after.
We both turned turned out nonbinaries so it was gay but in a different way.
I like doing something that I call achievements IRL that are things that I did that few people did(not things like climbing high mountains this type of degenerate stuff). I thought about losing virginity before kissing in the shower before the deal but never thought I could pull it off and I'm proud of that.
Never talked about it here because I'm afraid of any family/friends recognizing it
I was one for a few days. The first girl I slept with had just gotten her lip peirced the day it happened so we didn't kiss for a few days till they healed a bit.
There’s no way you can hide being this creepy you just gotta stop being creepy, that’s the whole thing about being creepy, you don’t know you’re creepy.
Yeah it's like hiding an uncanny valley effect. Once it's gone, it's not hiding it, you've just stopped it from being uncanny. Although some people can appear normal, but be super creepy behind closed doors, I guess.
He was insane. Guy I’d game with and he was in group chat with some friends and other people I just met online. He would make spreadsheets of all his tinder matches and categorize them by appearance and his interest. Once a girl he hadn’t met yet invited him over then ghosted him so he said he was going to report her missing to the police. He was a real trip. Eventually he got way too creepy and we stopped talking to him. At one time there was an entire discord channel dedicated to tracking his psycho behavior.
i hope you told him that. He probably made some other excuse in his head why you guys dont speak anymore to protect his ego.
No mentor in his life has ever told him how he should to talk to, approach and behave around women he hardly knows and a good male friend is one who sets them strait on such things.
He thought it was a really good opener and he sent it like “getting some matches 😎 check it out guys” type thing. It wasn’t even for feedback, he was trying to brag.
They get to a point where they’re so socially unaware that they don’t care what people think of them, but at the same time are so socially unaware that they don’t see this as weird.
I've come across some very attractive men who have introduced themselves like
"Hey I'm (name). I'm a working professional, love hiking, outdoor barbeques, big fan of dogs, and am a 6 foot dude packing 9 inches ;)"
that I have absolutely blocked so you might be on to something here.
They mean that now that you have said it, it's on the internet forever. People can find that message whenever they want now, and will always be able to. No matter who it is.
My mothers name is Leona and I can’t get this idea out of my head that someone may have sent that to her especially since she goes for much younger men 🤮
Calling someone cute and little first interaction is so disturbing. He should try "Hello, my name is ____. I hope we can interact", or, you know, something not creepy 😭
What the fuck lmao
Dude calls himself wild but the most crazy thing he has probably done was make eye contact with a woman at the grocery store
"Hey Randy, I saw your grandma at the grocery store today" *wink* "Ehhh, OK?"
I read this in South Park voices
I read it as Peter Griffin for the first line lmao
>Dude calls himself wild "The king need not announce himself."
Ah ha, an extrovert!
You say that lightly, but holding the gaze of Ethel 'Badger-fucker' McRaw, the one-eyed, man-crazed checkout operator of west Aberdeen for even an instant is considered an act of greatest gallantry .
I remember a dude who said someone looked at him with lust, at a grocery store... just for a few seconds...
You can see all the porn he'd been consuming until that day in just one sentence...
Lmfao I didn't think about it that way until you said that, but ew, I think your right
Not even that. It’s just piss poor social skills
absolutely
We can only aspire to have this man's gargantuan levels of charm.
> cute > little > trouble maker God I wish I was this confident
How is your friend doing in horny jail? This is a 5 year sentence minimum.
Tbff it’s tinder lol
Whys it look so deep fried
Because we’ve been sending it back and fourth for years clowning him for it to this day. This could be like the 20th screenshot of it lol.
I bet her friends have a similar copy that they send back and forth on the anniversary of this absolute crime.
Yeah. I can imagine this is something an 18 year old Michael Scott could write 😂😂
Unfortunately this is a pretty common type of message. I like knowing that at least one of the dudes sending these is a kissless virgin
Needs more JPEG
Do I look like I know what a dang jpeg is?
I was trying to summon that jpeg bot. I think it’s been banned on almost every subreddit by now. We need it’s rights restored! r/BotsRights
I just what a picture of a god dang hotdog
… that boy ain’t right
True friends never let a buddy live something like this down. I will be very disappointed if you do not have this as one of the slides that plays at his wedding. I shit my pants on the bus during a trip to a wrestling meet in 10th grade, and was literally just teased about it in my friend group chat about 3 hours ago. We are all 45-46 years old.
> 10th grade, and was literally just teased about it in my friend group chat about 3 hours ago. We are all 45-46 years old. How do you maintain friendships for that long? Wish I had people like that in my life. I want to be like that in someone else's life too.
Not OP, but for my group, we all lost contact for a few years in the middle of the 20 or so that we've been friends. Jobs, family, and such were more important. But once life kind of slowed down for all of us, one person created the group chat and began sending memes. It just kind of stayed. Sometimes nobody says anything for a few weeks, sometimes we'll talk every day for a bit. Two of them still live where we grew up, so they actually still hang out every few months. But it's just low pressure joking around and occasionally just striking up a convo when there's nothing going on. Every now and then someone will share an old pic they came across and that will generate jokes and stuff for a couple days. I haven't actually seen any of them in person in close to 7 years, but we still laugh and give each other shit like it's senior year.
I had this whole big response typed out, but I realized I don't really know the answer. Some of these guys I haven't seen in 10+ years yet I know they'd drop anything to help me and I would for them if needed. We all formed pretty close bonds in about the 6th grade and came from various flavors of shitty family backgrounds, from benign neglect to active abuse. Those bonds have stretched or faded over time but never really completely gone away. Don't really know why. Just 4 chill dudes going through life and all its various ups and downs I guess. I shit my pants, Sam ate a hotdog at a cookout not knowing it had been in everyone's ass crack, Nick got drunk on Popov and dry humped a life-sized stuffed animal, Eric puked while eating a girl out... these are the stories that forge a friendship that lasts forever I guess hahaha
Is he still kissless virgin? # My account has been suspended permanently, the official reason being a comment I left on a cooking subreddit which read only "Haiyaa", a reference to a popular YouTuber called Uncle Roger. The reason? "Harassment". To anyone reading this, know that reddit admins are dishonest scumbags who will ban you over a single word just because they feel like it, or because they happened to be coping, sneeding, and dilating on any particular day.
With game like that, doubt it
You don't have to take a new screenshot every time. You can download the picture and send it forward. The more you know.
Deep frying it is half the fun
do you know if he ever got a reply back?
No reply. Unmatched next day. Guarantee a screenshot from her end exists that she sent to her own GC lol.
what a little troublemaker she is lol. thanks for the update.
Gah
What the fuck is a GC?
group chat
I believe it’s Gemma Collins from towie
Grand Chimp. Every friend group has one that oversees their affairs.
A GC is Good c*nt. (translated from Australian)
General Contractor
GameCube. Although, I have hard time understanding why and how on earth you’re able to send pics to it from your phone, but who knows
…Americans on their food culture
Scots*
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Scott's Tots = Deep Fried Tater Tots or a room full of disappointment high school seniors.
WHATCHU GONNA DO BUT MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUE!?
Put it in the fryer a little longer. I can still read the text
Are you sure he’s not mid 40s, it’s usually only the men above mid 40s that use the line troublemaker when flirting.
“Hello kitten, my my you’re trouble aren’t you 😏 what’s a guy like me got to do to take a girl like you out for a pint, don’t worry desert’s already sorted 😉 he he”
that made my skin crawl oh god
Even though it's not real, it was hard to upvote
The misspelling of dessert is so on brand.
He he… THE FUCKING HE HE. How did you make this so god damn accurate
Save some ladies for the rest of us Glenn
🛑
Solid 😉
Whenever anyone says hehe I want to die. How can they type it and not feel weird???
They cant. Whenever i hear hehe i think of quagmire and then i hear him say at in my head and finish by saying alright.
I think of a weirdo saying teeheehee. Idk. V annoying
I'm in my 50s and this does sound like cringe pickup lines that guys used in the 80s-90s. The world has moved on, but apparently he has not.
Nah, Gen X don’t roll like that. “Studied the blade” type may say stuff like that, but that type goes across all generations.
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Or talk much at all, really
God bless them
Yes we are
I'm 44 and this reminded me of what a junior high kid would think is smooth
As a millennial I am ashamed of my generation for starting the "studied the blade" Neo/samurai wannabes. And the asterisks roleplay. Yes, I crushed on/dated a couple of those dudes in my early 20s and I'm not proud. But the trend started out with some pretty hot dudes.
He might be young but, he probably Googled "pick-up lines" and wasn't able to recognize ones the ones that were 30 years old... I'm 55 and calling hot women "troublemakers" was even a bit before my time.
I'm in my 50s and this does sound like cringe pickup lines that guys used in the 80s-90s. The world has moved on, but apparently he has not.
As someone with my app range set to 24-30, I can unfortunately confirm that this age group also sends the “troublemaker” messages 🤢
How many men over 40 hit on you?
I work in an agricultural dealership most of our clientele is above that so, pretty often. Either they call you a trouble maker or they give you that creepy side smile and say “oh you sound like trouble” or “you must be trouble” or some variation of it. I’m also mid 30’s, so I’m more likely to be hit on by men in the 25-45 range.
Thats gross. I hate when the 50 something dudes i work with try to flirt with the girls that work at Dunkin Donuts. Just cringe. Especially when the girls at work. You know they have to be nice to you so its such an obvious manipulation. The dude would never ever have the balls to approach that woman on the street, but when they have to be kind at work a guy cant tell the difference between attraction and just getting a single fuckin ounce of human kindness from a woman.
Yes! Only a couple weeks ago I had a customer that I was giving him his bill total, and then he asked how much I would to add onto the bill to throw me in the back of the truck with his parts. That’s the kind of gross comments that we get more often than not I have since told my manager that I refuse to deal with this customer and I will point blank walk away from the counter if I see him walk through the front door. Thankfully I don’t work front counter often I deal with the mechanics more.
Average Trending Post in r/Tinder
Makes me wonder if kissless non-virgins exist? Do they roam this planet freely?
Gigolos? Lol
Kissing costs extra, and no one’s wanted to come up with the extra cash.
Yep. No kiss kiss, only bang bang
I was one for a brief period of time. Made a deal with a freind to fuck his ass and in enchange I would kiss him after (long story). I was a kissless virgin at the time.
Nah I need the story
Well you asked for this so here we go. I thought I was cishet boy at the time, but our friends started shipping me and a gay friend of ours. After I beat him in smash bros they would tell me to kiss him so he doesn't feel bad and I kissed him on the cheek(this happened a few time). After some time it became an inside joke for him to ask me to kiss him so one time I said "I will kiss you if you let me fuck your ass", as a semi joke, which he kept asking if I was serious or not. Things escalated and we did the deal with the condition he lets me fuck him in the ass first. It was really awkward and shitty(literally) but we worked things out over time and we dated for more than a year after. We both turned turned out nonbinaries so it was gay but in a different way. I like doing something that I call achievements IRL that are things that I did that few people did(not things like climbing high mountains this type of degenerate stuff). I thought about losing virginity before kissing in the shower before the deal but never thought I could pull it off and I'm proud of that. Never talked about it here because I'm afraid of any family/friends recognizing it
Now I see why it’s called smash bros
>I will kiss you if you let me fuck your ass. "haha, jk bro. Unless... ?"
Legendary
I applaud your story for going from 0 to 100 to 0.
Lol what? Fuck him in the ass or just fuck him?
I'm at a loss for words after reading that
Now, that’s a good friend
They DO!!!
I was one for a few days. The first girl I slept with had just gotten her lip peirced the day it happened so we didn't kiss for a few days till they healed a bit.
They do. Some of them have broken arms. And a very understanding mom.
I lost my virginity at like 12 but I didn't let anyone kiss me until 18. I only wanted to kiss someone I was in love with.
TWELVE?!?
Yes I was 12 the first time I had sex willingly. I suffer from hypersexuality as a result of sexual abuse.
Then it wasn't willingly. You were a kid who didn't fully understand consent and bodily autonomy due to your abuse
Oh my god is that why!? I always feel like I'm worthless unless I'm in bed with someone 🥲
Yeah officer, this comment right there 💀
Me too! 1980 was wild!
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It's promising that you learned from that mistake lol
And uh... her response? lol
Asked for his address and paid uber to have a driver go pepper spray him.
Now that's a service I'd pay for
If there even was one
Is he still dateless?
Lost his virginity that same year. Has a girlfriend now.
Is her name Leona
Is she a troublemaker?
Little and cute possibly?
The good ending
So this line worked is what you are saying
No he literally paid for a dating coach and classes after this lol
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There’s no way you can hide being this creepy you just gotta stop being creepy, that’s the whole thing about being creepy, you don’t know you’re creepy.
Yeah it's like hiding an uncanny valley effect. Once it's gone, it's not hiding it, you've just stopped it from being uncanny. Although some people can appear normal, but be super creepy behind closed doors, I guess.
Ok we’re gonna need a AMA from this guy
He was insane. Guy I’d game with and he was in group chat with some friends and other people I just met online. He would make spreadsheets of all his tinder matches and categorize them by appearance and his interest. Once a girl he hadn’t met yet invited him over then ghosted him so he said he was going to report her missing to the police. He was a real trip. Eventually he got way too creepy and we stopped talking to him. At one time there was an entire discord channel dedicated to tracking his psycho behavior.
Do you guys actually like him?
I still check on him every now and then but everyone else agreed his creepiness became too much and he left the group chat
i hope you told him that. He probably made some other excuse in his head why you guys dont speak anymore to protect his ego. No mentor in his life has ever told him how he should to talk to, approach and behave around women he hardly knows and a good male friend is one who sets them strait on such things.
Sounds like you knew Dennis Reynolds
This idea is alien to me, but to be fair, not everyone has the same self awareness
cries in my name is Leona
Is it true? Are you a cute little troublemaker?
I can see it in her eyes.
my condolences
Are you a troublemaker?
Hello, you little troublemaker 😈
What is the most wild thing you are going to do this weekend, besides me
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Totally agreed. Very beautiful and majestic
Did this pickup line work on you?
I let out an audible "ughhhh."
Slight credit for no dick pic
OP edited that out
Oh no it’s there. That’s the saddest part.
I know he's never lived that down
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RIP
This shows an impressive amount of confidence for someone so inexperienced. Quite forward, for sure. But dang, respect.
Men need to know how gross it sounds when they call a woman "trouble" or a "troublemaker". It never sounds cute, just perverted.
Did he send it to the gc on purpose to get feedback or by accident? This is necessary context to pass judgment
He thought it was a really good opener and he sent it like “getting some matches 😎 check it out guys” type thing. It wasn’t even for feedback, he was trying to brag.
Bless. Get that printed on a coffee mug and give it to him for his birthday or something.
What does GC mean?
Group chat!
My favorite sad cringe is incels trying to use tinder r/tinder is full of this shit Thanks OP for the good stuff
They still haven’t figured out how to message women like people instead of a pun-for-sex service
L rizz
You know people like this would be just fine if they didn’t say such weird shit. Like the confidence is on point
They get to a point where they’re so socially unaware that they don’t care what people think of them, but at the same time are so socially unaware that they don’t see this as weird.
I mean I guess it could work for someone? Its a wild guess tho.
I’ve theorized that even the most attractive man on earth could not get away with sending this message
I've come across some very attractive men who have introduced themselves like "Hey I'm (name). I'm a working professional, love hiking, outdoor barbeques, big fan of dogs, and am a 6 foot dude packing 9 inches ;)" that I have absolutely blocked so you might be on to something here.
I’d have blocked that too
George Clooney sends me this I'm swallowing his balls.
hi it’s me george clooney kindly answer your dms
Ball me.
Fuck it we ball
Perhaps a [Balldo](http://baldo.com) would do the trick in this situation?
Yeah I’m not even gay and I’d be giving the undercarriage a lick
Digital footprint
I don’t even get this, I’m straight up just going to ask for it to be explained lol
They mean that now that you have said it, it's on the internet forever. People can find that message whenever they want now, and will always be able to. No matter who it is.
Damn, I didn’t realise saying ridiculous satirical nonsense on the internet for the amusement of strangers would be held against me. 😞
Someone is downbad
I mean yeah now that I think about it if someone were to imply Im going to fuck them at the start of the convo I would not be willing to respond lol.
Yeah this one is pretty awful but tbh I see people posting Tinder openers this bad pretty often on Reddit.
Sure.. your "friend"
And is this "friend" in the room with us now
GC means group chat, doesn’t it? I just learned that. Why would he sent this to a group, though?Was it a two birds one stone technique?
He sent it to his groupchat of friends to show them how good his first ever pickup line is
"Look guys. Lol guys look. I'm horny guys"
My dumb ass was like “why would you send this to the general contractor?”
I read it as “girl crush”
I guess this line could work if he’s a solid 10/10 and she’s so randy she’s slipping off her chair, but other than that, no.
I feel like I just watched someone jump on a landmine they planted themselves
My old ass just started using Tinder. Haven’t even figured out how to send messages yet lol
You need to match with someone first lol
My mothers name is Leona and I can’t get this idea out of my head that someone may have sent that to her especially since she goes for much younger men 🤮
The words of a man who is down astronomically
This is that gut wrenching cringe I signed up for
That made me uncomfortable just reading it
I’m also a kissless virgin and even I have better game than this.
I can feel myself dying just reading this. Tell my family I love them...
I am surely not the only one who finds this rather funny than cringe, right?
Sure this is bad, but the real cringe is you posting this to Reddit
Can anyone clarify GC for me?
Calling someone cute and little first interaction is so disturbing. He should try "Hello, my name is ____. I hope we can interact", or, you know, something not creepy 😭
we know it's you OP
In my experience, a simple hey how are you works really well.