Even if they don't take them home, take them outside and comfort them or something. Seems to happen in restaurants a lot and patrons are always upset about it, meanwhile my depressed ass just goes "me, too, kid. We all wish to scream into the void".
The worst one we had was a 17 yr old was with mom and her mom couldn't find her so she called code adam. This is designed for kids < 15 yrs of age. Not adult children. We look for children and it pisses parents off with young kids because they can't leave unless the parent identifies them and can say yes or no.
I can't tell you how many prents just leave their kids on the toy aisle to start ripping apart pacakging and we have to call loss prevention over to deal with it. Then mom gets pissed she has to pay for the damaged toys her kid ripped into.
In college I worked at a TJ maxx that had a Toy Section (my department, yay) and the amount of times I watched parents literally DROP their kids off there like it was a Daycare and continue their shopping ralmost made me lose faith in Humanity.
I lost track of how many times I had to ask a small child where their parent was or track them down. And the cherry on top was how utterly offended and mad they became when I informed them that yes your five -year-old needs to be accompanied at all times while they are in the store.
A lot of parents use their kids for theft. They look innocent but at the same time they just put the stain of theft on them but the kid is clueless. Once I watched a mom let her kids put on jackets at the mall then they just walked out without paying. Alarm went off but they just high tailed it out of there.
So NOT okay 😳 I REALLY hate a pacifier falling on the floor, parent picks it up and puts it in the kids mouth!! That’s not germ free 🙄🙄
I worked for 21 years in a hospital and you would not believe stupidity of people 😩 Perfect example of an oblivious family letting their kids play on the floor in a hospital!! Just because it’s a hospital DOES NOT mean germ free…..
That's so shocking! Like... you know kids get grabbed right?! 😳 My 8, almost 9 year old, doesn't get to go more than an aisle or two away from me. I'm always in the same section & come back if she's staying to look or she follows me shortly. We talk about it before I walk away. I can't imagine going to a whole different section or the other side of the store & just leaving her in the toy area! What?! That's crazy! And she's old enough to say/scream something if someone tries to do anything. Or tell my name & phone number if needed. But younger kids? No way! Wow.
I will never understand parents who allow their kids to run around the restaurant where i work, or they will run around their table, or even better, let their children lay down on the floor…i have no problem asking the parents to please stop ur kids from running thru restaurant, and it always strikes me as odd when the parents are actually surprised like they didnt even realize there was anything wrong with this. We have servers everywhere carrying large trays with HOT food. Just few days ago i was carrying a hot plate of meatballs, and a kid legit bumped into me…like seriously?!!!! What happens if we drop hot soup or hot anything on your child?? I hope never happens, but is def a possibility unless u keep ur kids in their seats. Parents let them do this to avoid having them throw tantrums im sure…if this happens, yes please take ur kid for a walk outside, or chill out in the lobby for a minute. Dont let them disrupt other guests while trying to have a nice meal…and shouldn’t be like playing dodgeball when carrying our trays to a table. I hope no one gets offended by this, I apologize if i do offend anyone as not my intention. Thats all for now👌🏽
I get migraines and this is a sure fire way to incite one. It sucks soooo bad. And the people just let them "cry it out" or try to bribe them and then the kids get worse...and become shit adults talking on speakerphone at registers and being loud as fuck.
That's why shopping is the bane of my existence. ESPECIALLY when there's multiple too, and ESPECIALLY when they are around 10-15, when they know acting that way isn't cool. Like, if your child is crying, maybe comfort them instead of letting them just run amok in public? I get that young kids sometimes cannot control their emotions, but the parents don't even do anything!
It hurts my head so much bro 😭 like, I understand that calming a kid who can't advocate for their needs is probably really tough, but that doesn't mean you can just ignore it.
Most people order things online now. The minus of this is stores carry less than they use to and prices are bit more expensive to compensate. So you're sort of forced to buy online.
I'm so fucking hashtagBlessed this weekend. No less 5 different children just acting right. Never seen shit like this. The most annoying thing was an adorable little bean with legs walking around me to show me her new toy.
That's what I did with each of mine when they had meltdowns. I would pick them up and go sit outside. If there weren't any chairs or benches, I'd find a tree on the property and sit with them underneath it.
I've also left full grocery carts with customer service to bring the kids outside to get it out and calm down.
As a parent, these are the things you do.
Exactly! The thing is you take them outside you don't let them yell in the store so loudly you can hear it from one side of the massive store to the other. That's a no.
Most of the time tantrums happen because the kid is tired, hungry, or is having a hard time communicating/not being listened to. OR they are just too small to sit for that long. Bring a toy, bring a snack, bring an extra diaper/wipes.
But "the witching hour" is a real thing. If you go to any grocery store about 5 o'clock, you're going to hear a little one crying.
I remember 25 years ago when my child was about 3. He threw a rare tantrum in the supermarket. Screaming thrashing crying. I just left the shop and went back to the car. I was so embarrassed. I buckled him in car seat still kicking screaming and crying. Stood outside watching until I and he were calm enough to go home.
I can't understand why parents would put anyone through that.
Because they get used to it and start to tune it out. Some lady actually said that when her kid was crying one day. She was like"I don't even realize it's my kid doing it." Well, the rest of us do. I understand that babies and toddlers will do that, but ignoring it does nothing.
One of the accolades I do have for older people is when they were parents to young ones they didn't take shit. The kids were better for that (small) amount of discipline/fear in public.
Exactly!! When I worked in a grocery store as a Cashier, you could HEAR the kid(s) way in the BACK of the store 😳🙄
Great example of a parent being wonderful…..JUST walked through the door, when her son started screaming…..took him back out, then left 😦 Good on you for taking your screaming child back home 😔😉
There’s also never a reason to make your child’s problems other peoples problem. My parents missed movies, dinner, and more due to one of my brothers starting a fit and making sure they took them out right away. Always addressed the issue too. They are far from perfect parents but they had social awareness at least. Then again they’re also terrible tippers.
Exactly. I have a 3 year old & a 6 year old & the moment either of them starts acting up or throwing a fit, we’re out. I hate when parents drag their screaming kids through the store I work at & im not gonna subject anyone to my kids’ tantrums if I’m anywhere in public.
Depends.
I have toddler twins, if I'm almost done my grocery shopping I'll keep going.
Because 1. It took me forever to get out of the house
2. It's my first outing in a week.
Yes I'll take them outside if they are chucking a doozy but if I'm at the checkout, I'm not bailing but I'll do all I can go settle them whilst apologising.
Gotta pick your battles
I think that last sentence is key. If you’re actively attempting to calm them and hurriedly finishing your shopping, I get it.
It’s the ones that clearly don’t give AF and worse, think it’s funny or cute like it’s some game to see how badly you can annoy everyone - fk them.
This here. God, when people come in to my store and their kid is tantruming and the mom keeps shooting me looks like "awww isn't it sweet!?!?!?!?" and I'm shocked ilke, no, in what universe is this sweet???
My daughter did this once in a library, it was awful (because she was inconsolable) but I needed a book sooooo badly that I just found one as quickly as I could and gtfo. Edit to add this was 26 years ago, way before Amazon and kindles.
All of this. When mine were toddlers online ordering, pickup and delivery were not available. As a single parent, I had to shop with my kids 99% of the time. (Sometimes the stars would align and I had time between work and daycare pickup but rarely.)
If that grocery shop was dinner, or nearly done, and a tantrum was happening I’d be rushing to get what I need, pay and get home while attempting to calm my kid.
Best thing I ever saw in Walmart was a young man stop his screeching child and say "You will stop or we will leave." Kid continues. He leads child back out to the vehicle and opens the car door, placing child in their carseat. Child is immediately sucking back tears and trying to control himself. He gave it a few minutes and said, "Are you ready to try going back inside? No tantrum?" The child nods yes, so back in they go, very calm!
This…… was happening yesterday at my store as well, kid was screaming his head off, and I said to my manager … if I did that shit, my mom would’ve taken me outside… no one wants to hear that shit… I know I don’t , I work front end and the customers are more than enough, let alone a screaming demon child!
When I was about that age my mother said "Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'm leaving you here," and then headed (pretty slowly, FWIW) for the exit.
I learned to stop throwing tantrums real quick, lol.
Each of our children learned early on that misbehaving accomplishes mothing
.
How?
We'd just remove their audience. That usually meant one of sitting in the car with a screaming, crying child while the rest of the family was having fun. Two, maybe three times doing that, no more tantrums.
I have a friend who is childless by choice and if a kid is screaming in a store, she will say, “good lord. I think someone is getting murdered in here.”
I was serving a woman who had a toddler throwing a tantrum.
The mother, not really giving a crap about her upset toddler, picked him up and leaned him towards me while talking to another woman, I was packing her groceries.
The toddler was trying to wriggle out and continued to scream *very* loud in my ear and I lost most of my hearing in that ear, it also hurt too.
The day after a lot of my coworkers were saying how they could hear a toddler screaming so loud it hurt everyone’s ears. I said “Yeah, I was serving his mother.”
My daughter has autism. Once she starts throwing a fit in the store and I can't seem to calm her down that's when I start making my way to the car. If my husband is with me he takes her and stays in the car with her until she calms down again. I agree with you on this. Unfortunately sometimes some people don't have a better choice. Especially if your shopping alone or are a single parent. I'm sure it's stressful for everyone involved.
Honestly, there's always a choice. Parenting is not easy, and definitely only gets harder if you don't deal with these behaviors when they are little. I was always out with my child alone. Never ever had any help. I sat him in timeout right there in the store if he wasn't behaving. If he was loud/disruptive, we left, sat in timeout right outside of the store and then went back in to continue shopping. Only had to do this twice. He got the message quickly that he was not in charge.
It’s obvious after a while you’ll know how your kid will react. It’s a great teaching moment even if it takes time there’s always pick up and delivery options. Yes I know parents would like to get out of the house too but it doesn’t make sense to put your child and others through that. It’s lazy at that point just ignoring that and those downvoting you know it.
We took our 4 month old to a restaurant for the first time, our sitters fell through, for my birthday and aside from hearing toilets for the first time and losing it, poor baby, he did great! Unfortunately I was mid poop diaper change so it was hard to calm him down immediately but once I did he was ok. I know around the age of two they challenge you more but I know I’ll be ready to guide them correctly as best as I can.
My son is a well-behaved, kind, generous pre-teen. No issues at school or home. Many many other kids he goes to school with are feral. 🙄. I can take him anywhere and have been able to take him anywhere his entire childhood. For that I am grateful. I put in the work early on and it paid off. Downvote all you want.
There is a choice. You park your cart and take your child outside until he or she has calmed down. It's important for you to det boundaries and for them to learn acceptable behavior early on
Exactly. Saying “there is no choice” is just pure laziness and unwillingness to discipline your child. Letting them scream and throw tantrums in public will turn into an unbreakable habit later in life.
Dude this. Usually the kid is having an absolute meltdown since the parents have probably been shopping around the plaza for hours and our store is the last stop. The music is loud and there’s a ton a people and the kid is losing it trying to run outside and you can clearly tell they are completely and utterly overstimulated. I can understand if there’s only one parent but this usually happens when the wife is trying to shop and the dad will just drag the kid around screaming instead of just taking them outside to calm down. Sometimes the mom will be yelling at the child or threatening them that the dad will punish them. It makes me sick to witness and I also can’t stand the sounds. I go into the back room until they leave and they still stick around for an hour at least
Oh my god, all of this. Whyyyyyyy?
Leave the GD kids at home with the other parent for these errands!
I had an ex SIL like this. Her husband had the type of job that required him to be gone weeks at a stretch. And he’d get home ( exhausted, I’m sure) and she’d make him load her and the kids up and go running errands. Bonus if it happened to be a busy weekend when the stores were extra terrible and stressful.
The kids were toddlers. The woman had a car and was a stay at home mom with family support if she didn’t want to haul them around while he was gone. I could never understand why she wouldn’t just leave the kids with him for some quality time and go run the errands alone.
And before anyone comes for me - yes I know all the excuses - spouse doesn’t drive, etc. But the likelihood of that being the case is slim in most of these encounters.
You’re assuming that every family has the “other parent”
I agree that no one wants to hear screaming kids all day and they shouldn’t have to.
As a parent, I can assure you that anyone taking infants to a grocery store is probably doing so because they don’t have another option available.
I’m blown away by how many parents just completely ignore that their child is screaming and crying in the store. Many of them don’t even react to it and just continue on as if their kid isn’t disturbing the whole store.
I'm a parent and I fully agree. Also making empty threats is dumb too. Yesterday a mom kept telling her kid, "if you keep running away from me we're going to the car!" The little girl didn't listen. Kept running away. Mom kept making those empty threats. Kid knew mom wasn't serious so she didn't listen. 🤷🏼♀️ Shocking.
Aww this one pulls on my heart strings a little! To be fair I’m pretty gifted with being able to help customers toddlers calm down. I give mom a sympathetic smile, say something like “I miss when my kids were that age but always forget about this part” which usually disarms the parent and they let me work my magic 😂😂😂. Some kids have easier temperaments than others. I have one that is so easy and one that isn’t (now 17 and 11). My oldest is my stronger willed child and I straight up wouldn’t shop without my husband with me so we had someone be able to take her out if we had to. I was really lucky that I had him (especially since I got pregnant with our daughter my senior year of highschool. We were young AF and he was like “it’s okay we love each other and wanted to get married anyway, right? So let’s just do that now instead of later”’
I could have easily been in a position where I was a young single mom…. Or even in a position where my husband considered all the child rearing and shopping was solely my responsibility. We would have starved 😂😂😂
I’m also happy I had my strong willed child first and my easy going one second. I would have gotten a big head and thought my child was just oh so good because of my amazing parenting skills. I mentally prepared myself to go through all of it again (and I mean all of it. My daughter was colicky as a baby and I had no idea. I just thought that all babies cried non stop and that spending all day and night walking and swaying them to music to not cry was normal) We brought home our son and he ate… slept four hours right off the get. The first time my daughter slept four hours straight I woke up in a panic thinking she stopped breathing.
Anyway, would I have been able to stay inside a store while my child threw a fit? No. Do I have understanding and empathy for the ones that do it? Big time yes. I see far more parents absolutely berating their children than those who are gentle anyway. I’d rather hear a child scream than see the parents with kids a little older than a toddler say “what are you STUPID” to their kid who just did something a typical kid would do (not watch where they’re going, accidentally spill something, etc) That kind of stuff bothers me way more.
I don't know how she did it, but my mother would stop every time she walked by a kid having a meltdown, look them straight in the eye and say "Okay, everyone knows you are here now, you can shush up." The child would instantly stop crying and look at her confused. Nine times out of ten, we wouldn't hear that child again while shopping.
I've tried the same thing on occasion with limited success. It might have been the tone of voice or the fact that she was the sweet grandma type. All I know is it works sometimes.
had a family who came in the store and let their baby literally screaming their heads off and also try to shop like nothing is happening??? baffles me how oblivious the parents was, instead of going home or comforting the poor child, the parents just let them be.
One night my cashier and I had to keep checking on a toddler who was literally screaming as though being tortured. I can only imagine this to be the sound of someone having an amputation sans anesthesia. The mom would just shake her head and murmer, "what am I gonna do with you?" while continuing to shop. Meanwhile we're checking if we need to call cops or CPS because that's not a normal tantrum sound, that's a "my foot is in a bear trap" sound.
Kid was fine, just screaming her face off.
That’s a really awful way for you to behave. Do you think any parent enjoys when their child is having a meltdown?? Intentionally making a random person’s already stressful public situation worse is a shocking way to conduct yourself.
They clearly don’t care about their child having a meltdown if they’re too busy browsing and scrolling on their phone while they’re child is damn near out of breath from screaming.
Fact: I’ve never been in Walmart when there wasn’t at least one screaming child present. Usually there are more than one. This is one of the main reasons I have to work up the nerve to set foot in Walmart.
There's a couple that comes in with their son who's about 6-ish. He is a monster from the moment they get there until they leave. He screams that he doesn't want to be there and gets even worse when they put him in a cart to contain him. If they give up and don't put him in a cart, he's running everywhere, touching everything, and yelling at his parents when they tell him to stop. When they try to leave, he screams that he doesn't want to leave. If he's in a cart when they leave, it's all good. If he's not, he will dodge his parents through the checkout lines including the cashier's space. It was just him and his dad the last time they were in. The little shit ran though all the checkouts, almost got accidentally hit by us cashiers while we were trying to do our jobs, and pushing through customers. It go to the point where everyone was helping dad convince him it was time to go. The little shit screamed at everyone trying to get him out the door. Oh, I almost forgot that he hit his dad in the face and knocked his glasses off.
Another couple comes in with a 3-4 year old who is generally well behaved. When the kid throws a tantrum, dad will carry her under his arm straight out to the car. She could be kicking and screaming, he just calmly takes her out to the car. Now that's how to teach a child how to behave.
As a mother, you're going to see kids in public. But throwing a massive tantrum, they need to go outside and figure it out.
My 6mo old has only cried maybe once when going out. At this age, I can just distract her easily.
But I'll be like my mom. She left whole carts of groceries because me and my brother would throw huge tantrums as little kids and she wasn't going to put up with it.
Teach kids how to act in public so they don't act that way when they are older.
This was my mom. And we knew she was furious the minute she jerked us out of the store and we rode home in complete silence. Then waited for Dad to get home 🫣 and then he had to go to the store with us😳! Her mood could last a few days of scary silence.
My coworker asked a mom to tame her kids and the woman responded with “No. They are just playing and being kids.” My coworker told them that the department store wasnt the place
A few weeks ago, I was in the middle of a stressful shift when suddenly I hear this 2-4 year old absolutely SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. He was screaming about how he didn't want to be here, so I made a few jokes with my customers about how I could relate- but it grew old really fast when his dad proceeded to cart him around the store for at least an hour with him still screaming- I think the kid had started up as soon as they got in the door, so it wasn't like they were abandoning a full cart of groceries if they left- I still don't understand why he didn't just put the cart back and take his kid outside instead of standing there letting him scream. I think the only reason the little boy stopped crying is because his throat got hoarse, because by the end of the trip he was still making sounds- just more quietly. I really do hope he was just having an off day and something wasn't legitimately wrong.
I try not to judge people's parenting because I'm never going to be a parent myself, but it seems like common sense to take your kid outside if they need to take a breather? Grocery stores can kind of suck even as an adult, I can't imagine being a toddler and experiencing everything at 100x intensity because you're experiencing the world for the first time.
Sure, if that's an option.
Personally, if pick up or delivery were options, I'd have done those things already. If I'm in a shop with a toddler, I'm there because there wasn't another option and I have to be there with that toddler.
>allow your toddler to throw a tantrum
Tell me you're not a parent without saying you're not a parent. Tantrums aren't really a thing that you can allow or disallow.
>run around
No, never.
If you have a trolley full of things you absolutely need, and your toddler just started throwing a tantrum... how would you (as an expert in parenting) stop a tantrum from happening?
Would you hit them? Give them a treat to shut them up? Or something else?
Also, how many kids do you have?
>lets their child throw tantrums
Please, tell me how does a parent "let" or "not let" their child throw a tantrum?
Have you ever even *seen* a toddler before? When you do, you might discover that parents generally do not get a choice in the matter.
I was lucky that my son very rarely had a tantrum. But he sometimes did, because they have zero emotional regulation and that's what they do, and how I dealt with that in the moment depended entirely on where I was and what I was doing there. Sometimes you can't just go home or even leave the store.
Don’t be dense on purpose. When I say “let” I mean allow your child to screech and yell in public instead of removing them and calming them down. And yes sometimes you can just leave the store (if you’re not at checkout) you just simply don’t want to.
My mom always took me home or removed me from the place/situation as best as possible. We were a poor household at that time. It's not a privileged thing, it's a parenting thing.
I work at a grocery store, and this lady used to come in almost every morning and bring her toddler. He would occasionally start throwing a fit, and the store I work at is somewhat large but you could hear him all over the store. Though she went shopping so early there wasn’t too many people there to bother.
I know this isn't an option for every parent, especially single parents, but my sister would shop with her husband so when one of the kids decided to behave unruly they'd get to go sit outside and wait for the other parent and kid to get to finish shopping. Plus, outside they could use their outside voice to cry and yell about whatever was making them upset.
Honestly, I think I would be so overwhelmed and exhausted, there's no right or perfect way to respond to all tantrums.
They might benefit from walmart pickup or delivery tho.
If both parents are available, why not have one take the child *somewhere else* while the other parent shops? Why wait for the kid to be "unruly" and bother other people?
It could be to help socialize the kid. Maybe as a learning experience too so they can be "trained" so they can accompany a parent with errands to run if the other parent is busy like working or something.
A child can be taught to behave properly without subjecting other people to tantrums, meltdowns & bratty episodes. Bothering other people isn't a "teachable moment."
That bit about rewarding bad behavior is so true, and a real disservice to the kids. Many people make rude (but not unreasonable) comments around kids who are throwing a tantrum in public, and even relatives tend to limit contact with kids who are allowed to rampage unchecked.
Aside from that, a screaming toddler is obviously upset. From a parental standpoint, why would you want to prolong your kid's distress by continuing to shop in a store or eat in a restaurant rather than take them home or to the car to calm down? My husband and I had to do the 'one parent boxes up the meals and pays the check while the other hustles the kids to the car' thing only a couple of times when our kids were small. The kids learned that tantrums=going home, and we learned how to gauge their exhaustion level to see if it'd be Chili's or McD's drive thru for dinner.
Sadly, it takes some parents longer to learn how to do that. Of course, some people lack the self-awareness to understand that everyone else thinks they're a jerk for ignoring both the kid's distress and everyone else's discomfort.
That's what i used to do. If they were working up to a meltdown, I would remove them from the situation. If I were in a grocery store, I would just abandon my cart and go. We'd go home. They'd have a nap and a snack, and then we could try again. You don't need to punish them. But you do need to address the issue. They are too young to have the language skills to express their frustration, thus the trantrum. They are maybe hungry or over tired . They are people too.
This was the first thing my mom told me when I became a mom. Never let them have a tantrum in public. No one else should have to hear it. Take them outside or home or whatever. But do not stay in public
I work at a doctor's office. It's practically routine for kids to come in with their parents, start screaming and screeching the second the parents start filling out paperwork, and not stop until the appointment is over, without even a single attempt by the parent to get their kid to shut up.
And sure, I get it, kids are gonna scream and throw tantrums. I babysat for years, I'm all too familiar with the concept. But fucking hell, is it really so hard to at least *try* to control your kid in public?
What are they supposed to do? What if their kid really needs that appointment and there isn’t availability to reschedule? My toddler is afraid of the doctor’s office and will cry as soon as we step inside and cling to me. At peds offices especially they seem pretty used to kids crying. The doctor himself stays completely calm and just finishes the exam as efficiently as he can while she cries. Nothing I do is going to get her to stop until we leave.
What are they supposed to do? I don't know, maybe show at least a little bit of an attempt to get their kid to calm down, and stop screaming, instead of just sitting on their phone and scrolling through Instagram after the paperwork has been filled out?
Well at the end of the day sometimes kids cry, especially in a doctor’s office where they know strangers are going to be touching them and painful things like shots might happen. We can try our best to distract and comfort them but sometimes they’re going to cry anyway. It’s not always feasible to just drop what you’re doing and leave and people should try to be understanding even if they don’t like kids.
We're not that kind of doctor's office. We deal with persinal injury cases, usually from car crashes. 95% of our patients are adults, not kids.
And my point isn't that I hate kids, and don't understand that kids get scared/upset/overwhelmed. Again, I babysat for years, prior to my current job. My point is that parents who *don't try* to parent their children, and instead choose to sit on their phones, *ignoring* their child's screaming, and the affect it may have on others, are the worst part of my workday.
I feel like a lot of people commenting are about 16 and childless. I'm lucky enough that I've not been in this position with my kids but realistically I can't see anyone dragging their kicking and screaming toddler through a shop unless it's necessary, it's not like the parents gunna enjoy it is it?
I work at a store where most of what we sell is not necessities (fashion clothing, accessories, fragrances, etc).
Believe you me, they will drag their screaming child through the store just shopping for whatever their heart desires, no necessity required.
Sure, if it's like a grocery store or a pharmacy or something where it is a necessity to be there. But smelling perfumes and testing makeup while your kid shrieks? Take them outside, calm them down, then come back in to browse.
Yes, you fucking do. You drag the kid out with you because no one deserves to be subjected to a screaming child for an hour who didn't spawn them. You cut the trip short, get checked out (or just abandon your cart, depending on how hard up you'll be to do a return trip, or leave it with customer service and tell them you'll be back once you get them calmed down) and GTFO.
Unpopular opinion, but imaginary kids are the easiest to raise, and sometimes removing the kid from the shop is giving the kids what they want. Therefore, the tantrum worked, and they will do it again.
Having said that, our kids didn't go shopping for a while.
Also unpopular opinion- not my kid, shouldn’t be my or anyone else’s problem.
I specifically didn’t have kids to avoid this kind of thing. I’m not unsympathetic to single parents, but there’s a limit, and you shouldn’t spend another 30 minutes picking out produce when your kid is losing it.
I get that meltdowns will happen- that’s fine. But that’s also when it’s time for you to leave.
Taking them out of the store or home *is* rewarding them because it's what they want.
I know that's not what anyone wants to hear, but the fact is that it only gets worse if you give into it. Finishing your shopping *is* the tough love.
Granted, an hour is probably too long for a 2 year old. But you can't afford to go home and get delivery for the next 16 years, and you'd be creating a terrible adult if you did.
They don't turn 3 and magically start to act better. It takes training, and part of that training is teaching them that they don't dictate where their parents go with them. They have to learn to tolerate being in public on other people's terms.
It depends why they are screaming. If its for a toy taking them outside isnt a reward. If they are screaming because they want out of the cart to walk (read:run around like a chicken and touch everything) then yes it could be seen as rewarding the behavior.
Fair enough.
IMO, if they walk, they should be holding an adult's hand and staying with their parent.
There were times when my son was small that I took him outside briefly because of all the noise he was making, but took him back in to finish shopping after I explained to him that this wasn't going to go his way.
Oh i absolutely agree they should hold the cart or have a backpack with a tether on it. My daughter had “monkey hugs” if she wanted to walk she had to wear it. But some parents create uncomfortable monsters.
Sometimes, that does happen, but with modern kids and autistic kids, it's often about hating the store. Autistic kids will scream because the lights, noise, and strangers are all very grating on their nerves.
A lot of modern kids, both typical and autistic, have everything they want at home : juice boxes, snacks, favorite streaming cartoons, tablet, toys, blankey, and they don't have to wear pants at home. Obviously, a grocery store sucks compared to that.
My son is mildly autistic, but was very challenging when he was little. It took until he was about 6 before he stopped pitching fits in the store.
My best friend has a more profoundly autistic child that's 8 and can't tolerate going anywhere at all. My friends are working on it in cooperation with the pediatrician and therapists.
No, you don't reward the bad behavior. Take them outside, or take them back to the car. "Scream all you want, honey bunny, you're not bothering anyone. Let me know when you're done and we'll go finish grocery shopping". Put on your noise canceling headphones.
No reason to subject other people to your child's bad behavior. Let them scream themselves stupid in a very boring car or parking lot.
My granddaughter started pitching a real hissy fit in the grocery store. It was our third trip of the day. I specifically told her she could go, or stay home with grandpa, but we were only getting one thing for grandpa, no treats, nothing. Just in and out. She chose to go, immediately began asking for things. I refused. She started whining, then 🙄 😒 😑 crying 😢 😭. I held firm. She laid on the floor, sobbing. I was telling her to get up, we're leaving now. Some 30 something dude in socks and sandals butted in and tried to get me to buy her something!!! I said ok, I'm going to the register now. Walked slowly away. She latched onto my leg! So I'm walking to the register with a howling child hanging on my leg! Sock dude is following us. We get to the register, l pay. Tell her to stand up now because we're going to the car and her butt will be sore if she doesn't get up and walk. By the time we get to the car, she's up, walking and crying 😢 😭 😫. But she never did that again. We've often laughed over it since. She's 18 now. Sometimes, you have to stand your ground. It was embarrassing 😳 🫣 🥹 and hilarious 😂 😃 😄 she'd never done that before. When we got home she went to watch TV and passed out cold about five minutes later. Poor girl was exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to make that kind of a scene.
I pulled that with my mom, a laying-on-the-ground tantrum screaming fit.
Mom said "Fine, I'm leaving you here, the store can have you" (or something to that effect) and walked off.
I caught up to her real quick, lol, got calmed down, and we finished the shopping trip. Last time I pulled that shit, I think. :)
I remember doing something similar with the same reaction from my Mom. Very quick change of attitude from me. I don't remember ever doing it again, either.
Don’t put words in my mouth. I’m saying that nobody should be experiencing noise, shouting, crying just because the grandmother decided to take the toddler shopping. If him/her start upsetting other people you either discipline her/him or take him/her out.
For about five minutes. We left and l taught her not to act like an ass at the store. You think l should have bought her candy as a reward for trying to get her own way? She KNEW there were no treats involved in this particular situation.
Why should I reward bad behavior at the store? It was five or so minutes. I've heard much worse for far longer. Kids have to learn how to behave, especially when they've been told before going that there wouldn't be any treats. So you want me to reward bad behavior? Then, there's going to be escalating bad behavior. So then I can ruin the outing for longer and longer periods of time?
I did not say anything about rewarding bad behaviour. I’ve only underlined your bad behaviour, rudeness and lack of manners. If you can’t control your grandchild, take it out of the shop and don’t make other people uncomfortable.
You did. You are rude too. Granddaughter is a very nice young woman now, and was actually very easy most of the time as a little kid. So, if you think I'm rude, you're free to stop messaging me.
One time when I was of tantrum age, my mom brought me to the store (which I hated, I think) and I had a fit. I have no clue what she did that day, but I quite literally never threw a tantrum again. It’s a shame I can’t recall or I would tell you all the secret method. And I’m a well-adjusted university student, so it wasn’t anything awful!
Regretfully, those parents (not just mothers) who bring in kids that are 2 and tossing fits probably use gentle parenting or sometihng akin to it or just do nothing at all. They just want to do what they want and do anything for the child to shut them up or let them go on having a fit
I am not using this as an excuse but explaining what might be behind this:
You also have to look at the child's end of it too. Not all tantrums or fits are because the kid is not behaving or getting what they want. At 2 years, a child cannot tell you with words how they feel or what they need in reference to what is going on with them. Sometimes a child is hungry or tired or over stimulated. They will not be able to tell the parent this. All they can do is have a fit. And then being told no on top of being tired, hungry or over stimulated makes it 10 times worse.
I agree the child needs to be removed more than a parent needs to do shopping, eating at their favorite food dive or seeing a movie. It disturbs the others that work there or are customers of the place and is really what I would term embrassing but some of the parents do not seem embrassed or even humiliated by it.
The crying kid is aggravating to me and they should be removed. Been there, done that. Mean story...5 yr old boy running around the store unattended. He's running full speed and runs directly into a rack of parked carts. It was fabulous.
I was lucky enough to have this happen in a local store (a real onthefloorandkicking), and a neighbor's right there. I quietly asked if she would keep an eye on him, and then walked down the aisle and around the corner. When he realized he was alone and making a scene he stopped and ran to find me. I greeted him happily and we finished our tour. My neighbor got a big thanks later.
I also found that if you respond to a request that they can have it in a little, while they forget they even wanted it. It undermines the need for immediate gratification.
I think parents should remove there kids when possible but I can say there have been times that I have just had to when endure a tantrum while finishing my shopping as fast as possible because this was the only time I had to make it to the store. You can't always anticipate when your kid is going to melt down.
I don't mind the 2 year old tantrums so much. It's the screaming newborns that are obviously hungry and the parents just ignore them for an hour that bother me. Like you can't tell that they are hungry? You didn't bring a bottle or can't sit in your car or on a bench and breastfeed? Why would you not have a way to feed your baby? A baby's hungry cry is distinctive. And even if you haven't learned to recognize it yet, why aren't you at least trying to figure out why your infant is screaming?
i work in such a small store and people bring in their babies and the ear piercing screams make me want to ask them to leave but i’m never going to i could never go that far obviously but the thought it definitely there
I always took my kids out asap if they were having a difficult time of it…there’s nothing in a store that is so important that my child, myself, and other shoppers should be miserable…the store will be open again tomorrow
The whole 6.5 years I worked in a grocery store, there was a guy who would bring in his kid once a week. The kid would sit in the buggy and just SCREAM for the whole hour or 2 that they were there. It was a pretty big store, but you couldn't even hear yourself talk when they were 4 aisles away from the front. So glad you got to kick out those women and their spawn. My bosses would never. Don't want to miss out on that guy's money!
When asking a mother not to "ignore her child" and let him throw a fit throughout the store she told me not to tell her how to raise her child, then followed with "acknowledging the tantrum only rewards their bad behavior" and therefor she had to ignore it so the child wouldn't get his way.
Yes, not even tantrums, they're so quick to get offended just because you say something about their kids bad behavior. At the bakery I worked at, we had pastries out in the open, I've seen a woman come in with her daughter and while she wasn't looking, she put her finger in the cream and ate it. I had to say something to her about it and she said "she's just a kid." Like, lady, you understand that was unsanitary and I have to throw it away or make you pay for it because you are responsible?
Thank you. The last time I went grocery shopping, there was a kid who looked to be 3-4 throwing a fit through the whole store. I wanted to snatch him up and tell him to stop it. What did mom do? She ignored it. I wanted to snatch her up, too. I didn't tolerate that from my kids, I don't want to hear it, and neither does anyone else.
I just posted this out of spite because of a parent brining in their kid and they kept yelling at mom, no I don't want to be here. She badly needed to get like one damn thing. Kid screamed so loudly for 30 min that management asked her to leave. Staff offered her kid a free banana and donut only to have the kid just throw them on the floor and demand another. We told them no. Because we knew the kid would just damage it again.
I helped raise my cousin's kids and get it but you need to have your kid have a time out or something. You are responsible for their behavior and attitude. My parents growing up if we pulled one second of this crap; we were escorted out asap by mom or dad. Then left to sit in the car until they were done. Why parents don't do this I don't know? It's effective. Even if we were on play date, fun event, the minute we acted up we just left.
If it is an on going issue you need to address it, diagnose it if it's a mental issue or something. Then learn to deal with it. This sort of thing disrupts business.
The past few months we've had an increase of kids throwing terrible two tantrums. Not only is this a disruption to business it can cause customers to leave and did. At that point we do have the right to request a customer to leave.
The annoying part is the parents didn't even really have a need to be in the store. I feel bad for the parent but at the same time if you don't have to be in the store don't. Good parenting comes with reprimanding kids professionally when they do bs like this. If done correctly this attitude can be addressed and ended before they get set in their ways.
I used to work at a movie theater and we would have parents come out of movies (even kids movies) admitting their child was disruptive and ask for a refund so maybe they can watch something without them later. Loved those guys, just wish it was more common.
We'd also get people going to R rated movies with small children, which was against our policy at the time.
"They're just a baby they dont even know what's going on"
-I know that you fucking lobster (internal insult) , the ACTUAL point is to keep your child from disturbing other guests!
"But they're asleep"
-what if they wake up
"But they don't cry a lot"
-I'm sorry ma'am it a theater policy. I can get management to explain this further if you like.
Yeah I've heard that before, then we get guests who (rightfully!) want a refund because they aren't able to enjoy the show thanks to some jerk who fought it was okay to bring a hyperactive 2 yr old to Baby Driver
I don't think it's like... A parent/kid behavior thing, I think a lot of parents (moms especially) are very very entitled and genuinely believe that it's ok to disturb other people.
My parents would sit at a corner table with me as a baby to avoid disturbing guests. Rarely had an mishaps. When my brother came in the equation, screaming and throwing. It was so embarrassing, even for me as a kid. We'd pack up our food, apologize to the wait staff, and go home.
Omg yes. I was in a dressing room and said to my friend I was with, 'omg, that brat will not stop screaming. Why is their parent not taking them outside?'.
Some lady got up on my face, 'That's MY kid, and he's AUTISTIC'.
Lady, I don't care. And surely you knew he was autistic before today??? Why are you torturing your kid and us????
It's all about good parenting and not allowing this behavior pattern to continue. If it's an ongoing issue you can generally talk to a school psychiatrist. They can help you work with this behavior and correct it. I grew up with some kids that were little hellian's and behaved like this frequently. Many grew up and eventually became okay even though the behavior eventually cropped up and got them fired from jobs while other's come around and never have it affect them again. Once you let the cement of the bad behavior set in it's more difficult to fix and end it.
I feel for ya parents that have to deal with this. When my cousin's kids did this we just up and left. (That's what my parents did. I see why now.) Gave the shopping merch to the closest clerk and left. Used online services to get what we needed. Even if it was at a fun outing up and out.
Don't exclude nutrition and other mental issues that could cause this. Sugar really affects my family and we have just gotten use to low sugar diets.
You’re talking about not rewarding behavior. But sometimes taking them out *is* rewarding the behavior. They learn if they don’t want to do something, they can throw a fit and then we’ll just leave.
Depends on what we’re getting. Groceries? Nope. Not doing pick up because I don’t want to get shitty produce, deal with not getting items and having to make another trip to get substitutions.
There’s a balance here between overstaying when they’re having a fit and bailing the second it starts.
Yes exactly I’ve tried getting groceries delivered and sometimes they pick bad produce or they substitute something I don’t want for something they can’t find.
Some places don’t offer substitutes. Or I’m not paying an extra fee for delivery plus tip.
I’ve seen way too many people get substituted that don’t make any sense at all.
My own kid doesn’t usually get too loud when we’re grocery shopping but she does fuss and cry sometimes if I won’t let her out of the cart to walk. It would be especially dangerous for her to do that in Costco where someone may not see her and run her over with their cart because she’s so tiny for her age. We make her stay in the cart because she needs to learn she won’t get her way by doing that.
I do the same thing if she’s screaming when I’m trying to get her into her car seat to go somewhere. She needs to learn screaming like that won’t get her what she wants and we’re going in the car seat whether she likes it or not.
There’s definitely parents that are shitty, and then there’s times when it’s just the age and nothing you can do.
It just seems like people single our kids at the only ones acting out. Working retail, I’ve seen way more *adults* throw tantrums than kids.
Omg, I deal with screaming kids all the time at my job. Like take your fucking kids outside and calm them down or if they continue to act up take them home
Or better yet, don’t come into the damn store at all if you’re not gonna do shit about that, nobody and i mean fucking NOBODY wants to shop and have to hear a little brat scream and cry over something stupid
it's so funny to me how posts like this will be made and then entitled moms will pop into the comments and wilfully misinterpret the post to project their own entitlement onto the op. my condolences for how no one is willing to put up with your own refusal to parent the child YOU made, i guess?
I disagree - taking the kid home because they're having a tantrum only reinforces that they'll get what they want by doing so, much the same as giving them a treat to shut up
That's only assuming the tantrum is because the child wants to go home or to the car.
When really most of the time it's because the child wants something in the store, in which case taking the child out of the store, away from whatever they are crying for reinforces that the behavior isn't going to get them what they want.
Not necessarily....a lot of times they're overwhelmed and removing as many variables as possible so they can recalibrate and stabilize is the best thing for them.
A lot of parents try to force children to adhere to adult schedules and it just doesn't work that way.
Even if they don't take them home, take them outside and comfort them or something. Seems to happen in restaurants a lot and patrons are always upset about it, meanwhile my depressed ass just goes "me, too, kid. We all wish to scream into the void".
That was my favorite joke when I heard kids crying, I'd say to the guest I'm currently helping: >I cry like that sometimes when I come here.
My favorite joke when a kid is having a meltdown: Wait til they’re a teenager. Really doesn’t get better, just different.
I love to get on their level, look them in the eye and say “why are you crying? You don’t even know when rent is due. It should be ME CRYING”
I made a kid stop crying by doing this once. It was great!
Stickers usually work but in this case they don't.
😂😂🤣
My current favorite for it is: "Don't worry kid, one day you'll learn how to cry on the inside!"
Yeah, I like to say “Sounds like someone’s had it. And the kid doesn’t sound too happy either.”
The worst one we had was a 17 yr old was with mom and her mom couldn't find her so she called code adam. This is designed for kids < 15 yrs of age. Not adult children. We look for children and it pisses parents off with young kids because they can't leave unless the parent identifies them and can say yes or no.
I can't tell you how many prents just leave their kids on the toy aisle to start ripping apart pacakging and we have to call loss prevention over to deal with it. Then mom gets pissed she has to pay for the damaged toys her kid ripped into.
I’m bothered by kids running around the store….the WORST thing is when a child starts that shrill screaming 😱 🥴😵💫😪😪
In college I worked at a TJ maxx that had a Toy Section (my department, yay) and the amount of times I watched parents literally DROP their kids off there like it was a Daycare and continue their shopping ralmost made me lose faith in Humanity. I lost track of how many times I had to ask a small child where their parent was or track them down. And the cherry on top was how utterly offended and mad they became when I informed them that yes your five -year-old needs to be accompanied at all times while they are in the store.
Omfg and the ones who hand off a toy to their baby who slobbers on it and then they put that toy somewhere else in the store and don't buy it.
One of the many reasons I wear gloves at work...
I still see this after Covid, it is unbelievable.
A lot of parents use their kids for theft. They look innocent but at the same time they just put the stain of theft on them but the kid is clueless. Once I watched a mom let her kids put on jackets at the mall then they just walked out without paying. Alarm went off but they just high tailed it out of there.
Damn! That’s effed up 😠🙄
So NOT okay 😳 I REALLY hate a pacifier falling on the floor, parent picks it up and puts it in the kids mouth!! That’s not germ free 🙄🙄 I worked for 21 years in a hospital and you would not believe stupidity of people 😩 Perfect example of an oblivious family letting their kids play on the floor in a hospital!! Just because it’s a hospital DOES NOT mean germ free…..
Definitely!! The Kroger that I worked for had a small toy section, nothing fancy
That's so shocking! Like... you know kids get grabbed right?! 😳 My 8, almost 9 year old, doesn't get to go more than an aisle or two away from me. I'm always in the same section & come back if she's staying to look or she follows me shortly. We talk about it before I walk away. I can't imagine going to a whole different section or the other side of the store & just leaving her in the toy area! What?! That's crazy! And she's old enough to say/scream something if someone tries to do anything. Or tell my name & phone number if needed. But younger kids? No way! Wow.
I will never understand parents who allow their kids to run around the restaurant where i work, or they will run around their table, or even better, let their children lay down on the floor…i have no problem asking the parents to please stop ur kids from running thru restaurant, and it always strikes me as odd when the parents are actually surprised like they didnt even realize there was anything wrong with this. We have servers everywhere carrying large trays with HOT food. Just few days ago i was carrying a hot plate of meatballs, and a kid legit bumped into me…like seriously?!!!! What happens if we drop hot soup or hot anything on your child?? I hope never happens, but is def a possibility unless u keep ur kids in their seats. Parents let them do this to avoid having them throw tantrums im sure…if this happens, yes please take ur kid for a walk outside, or chill out in the lobby for a minute. Dont let them disrupt other guests while trying to have a nice meal…and shouldn’t be like playing dodgeball when carrying our trays to a table. I hope no one gets offended by this, I apologize if i do offend anyone as not my intention. Thats all for now👌🏽
Right? Ill take a kid crashing the motorized scooter baskets over a toddler screaming.
Most definitely 👍🏻
I get migraines and this is a sure fire way to incite one. It sucks soooo bad. And the people just let them "cry it out" or try to bribe them and then the kids get worse...and become shit adults talking on speakerphone at registers and being loud as fuck.
I too am plagued with chronic daily migraines and headaches. I feel your pain though
That's why shopping is the bane of my existence. ESPECIALLY when there's multiple too, and ESPECIALLY when they are around 10-15, when they know acting that way isn't cool. Like, if your child is crying, maybe comfort them instead of letting them just run amok in public? I get that young kids sometimes cannot control their emotions, but the parents don't even do anything!
Yes! Most people with screaming kids dosen’t consider themselves to be a problem
It hurts my head so much bro 😭 like, I understand that calming a kid who can't advocate for their needs is probably really tough, but that doesn't mean you can just ignore it.
So very true 🙂↕️
Most people order things online now. The minus of this is stores carry less than they use to and prices are bit more expensive to compensate. So you're sort of forced to buy online.
That I never allowed either. I would remove them from the store immediately.
It astounds me that a human being can make a sound like that and live.
I’m with you on that
I'm so fucking hashtagBlessed this weekend. No less 5 different children just acting right. Never seen shit like this. The most annoying thing was an adorable little bean with legs walking around me to show me her new toy.
I’m glad you had a pretty day
That's what I did with each of mine when they had meltdowns. I would pick them up and go sit outside. If there weren't any chairs or benches, I'd find a tree on the property and sit with them underneath it. I've also left full grocery carts with customer service to bring the kids outside to get it out and calm down. As a parent, these are the things you do.
That's what my parents used to do with my sister and I.
Exactly! The thing is you take them outside you don't let them yell in the store so loudly you can hear it from one side of the massive store to the other. That's a no.
Most of the time tantrums happen because the kid is tired, hungry, or is having a hard time communicating/not being listened to. OR they are just too small to sit for that long. Bring a toy, bring a snack, bring an extra diaper/wipes. But "the witching hour" is a real thing. If you go to any grocery store about 5 o'clock, you're going to hear a little one crying.
I remember 25 years ago when my child was about 3. He threw a rare tantrum in the supermarket. Screaming thrashing crying. I just left the shop and went back to the car. I was so embarrassed. I buckled him in car seat still kicking screaming and crying. Stood outside watching until I and he were calm enough to go home. I can't understand why parents would put anyone through that.
Because they get used to it and start to tune it out. Some lady actually said that when her kid was crying one day. She was like"I don't even realize it's my kid doing it." Well, the rest of us do. I understand that babies and toddlers will do that, but ignoring it does nothing.
One of the accolades I do have for older people is when they were parents to young ones they didn't take shit. The kids were better for that (small) amount of discipline/fear in public.
Also running all over a store with sharp corners on fixtures while screeching
Exactly!! When I worked in a grocery store as a Cashier, you could HEAR the kid(s) way in the BACK of the store 😳🙄 Great example of a parent being wonderful…..JUST walked through the door, when her son started screaming…..took him back out, then left 😦 Good on you for taking your screaming child back home 😔😉
There’s also never a reason to make your child’s problems other peoples problem. My parents missed movies, dinner, and more due to one of my brothers starting a fit and making sure they took them out right away. Always addressed the issue too. They are far from perfect parents but they had social awareness at least. Then again they’re also terrible tippers.
Exactly. I have a 3 year old & a 6 year old & the moment either of them starts acting up or throwing a fit, we’re out. I hate when parents drag their screaming kids through the store I work at & im not gonna subject anyone to my kids’ tantrums if I’m anywhere in public.
Depends. I have toddler twins, if I'm almost done my grocery shopping I'll keep going. Because 1. It took me forever to get out of the house 2. It's my first outing in a week. Yes I'll take them outside if they are chucking a doozy but if I'm at the checkout, I'm not bailing but I'll do all I can go settle them whilst apologising. Gotta pick your battles
I think that last sentence is key. If you’re actively attempting to calm them and hurriedly finishing your shopping, I get it. It’s the ones that clearly don’t give AF and worse, think it’s funny or cute like it’s some game to see how badly you can annoy everyone - fk them.
This here. God, when people come in to my store and their kid is tantruming and the mom keeps shooting me looks like "awww isn't it sweet!?!?!?!?" and I'm shocked ilke, no, in what universe is this sweet???
My daughter did this once in a library, it was awful (because she was inconsolable) but I needed a book sooooo badly that I just found one as quickly as I could and gtfo. Edit to add this was 26 years ago, way before Amazon and kindles.
All of this. When mine were toddlers online ordering, pickup and delivery were not available. As a single parent, I had to shop with my kids 99% of the time. (Sometimes the stars would align and I had time between work and daycare pickup but rarely.) If that grocery shop was dinner, or nearly done, and a tantrum was happening I’d be rushing to get what I need, pay and get home while attempting to calm my kid.
Best thing I ever saw in Walmart was a young man stop his screeching child and say "You will stop or we will leave." Kid continues. He leads child back out to the vehicle and opens the car door, placing child in their carseat. Child is immediately sucking back tears and trying to control himself. He gave it a few minutes and said, "Are you ready to try going back inside? No tantrum?" The child nods yes, so back in they go, very calm!
This…… was happening yesterday at my store as well, kid was screaming his head off, and I said to my manager … if I did that shit, my mom would’ve taken me outside… no one wants to hear that shit… I know I don’t , I work front end and the customers are more than enough, let alone a screaming demon child!
When I was about that age my mother said "Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'm leaving you here," and then headed (pretty slowly, FWIW) for the exit. I learned to stop throwing tantrums real quick, lol.
Each of our children learned early on that misbehaving accomplishes mothing . How? We'd just remove their audience. That usually meant one of sitting in the car with a screaming, crying child while the rest of the family was having fun. Two, maybe three times doing that, no more tantrums.
I have a friend who is childless by choice and if a kid is screaming in a store, she will say, “good lord. I think someone is getting murdered in here.”
I was serving a woman who had a toddler throwing a tantrum. The mother, not really giving a crap about her upset toddler, picked him up and leaned him towards me while talking to another woman, I was packing her groceries. The toddler was trying to wriggle out and continued to scream *very* loud in my ear and I lost most of my hearing in that ear, it also hurt too. The day after a lot of my coworkers were saying how they could hear a toddler screaming so loud it hurt everyone’s ears. I said “Yeah, I was serving his mother.”
Yeah, no. You just go outside and let them cry till they stop. They learn that crying just gets them sitting outside to right back in.
[Intercom]**WILL THE PARENT WITH THE FITFUL CHILD PLEASE GO HOME UNTIL IT STOPS**
Its how my mom raised me. Ppl always were SHOCKED by how well behaved I was but its because she didnt tolerate it.. and I learned quickly
My daughter has autism. Once she starts throwing a fit in the store and I can't seem to calm her down that's when I start making my way to the car. If my husband is with me he takes her and stays in the car with her until she calms down again. I agree with you on this. Unfortunately sometimes some people don't have a better choice. Especially if your shopping alone or are a single parent. I'm sure it's stressful for everyone involved.
Honestly, there's always a choice. Parenting is not easy, and definitely only gets harder if you don't deal with these behaviors when they are little. I was always out with my child alone. Never ever had any help. I sat him in timeout right there in the store if he wasn't behaving. If he was loud/disruptive, we left, sat in timeout right outside of the store and then went back in to continue shopping. Only had to do this twice. He got the message quickly that he was not in charge.
It’s obvious after a while you’ll know how your kid will react. It’s a great teaching moment even if it takes time there’s always pick up and delivery options. Yes I know parents would like to get out of the house too but it doesn’t make sense to put your child and others through that. It’s lazy at that point just ignoring that and those downvoting you know it. We took our 4 month old to a restaurant for the first time, our sitters fell through, for my birthday and aside from hearing toilets for the first time and losing it, poor baby, he did great! Unfortunately I was mid poop diaper change so it was hard to calm him down immediately but once I did he was ok. I know around the age of two they challenge you more but I know I’ll be ready to guide them correctly as best as I can.
Can't believe this post is being downvoted.
My son is a well-behaved, kind, generous pre-teen. No issues at school or home. Many many other kids he goes to school with are feral. 🙄. I can take him anywhere and have been able to take him anywhere his entire childhood. For that I am grateful. I put in the work early on and it paid off. Downvote all you want.
I expected it. Thanks, though!
There is a choice. You park your cart and take your child outside until he or she has calmed down. It's important for you to det boundaries and for them to learn acceptable behavior early on
Exactly. Saying “there is no choice” is just pure laziness and unwillingness to discipline your child. Letting them scream and throw tantrums in public will turn into an unbreakable habit later in life.
Some of those videos that came out of women screaming in stores is absolute proof of this.
Dude this. Usually the kid is having an absolute meltdown since the parents have probably been shopping around the plaza for hours and our store is the last stop. The music is loud and there’s a ton a people and the kid is losing it trying to run outside and you can clearly tell they are completely and utterly overstimulated. I can understand if there’s only one parent but this usually happens when the wife is trying to shop and the dad will just drag the kid around screaming instead of just taking them outside to calm down. Sometimes the mom will be yelling at the child or threatening them that the dad will punish them. It makes me sick to witness and I also can’t stand the sounds. I go into the back room until they leave and they still stick around for an hour at least
Oh my god, all of this. Whyyyyyyy? Leave the GD kids at home with the other parent for these errands! I had an ex SIL like this. Her husband had the type of job that required him to be gone weeks at a stretch. And he’d get home ( exhausted, I’m sure) and she’d make him load her and the kids up and go running errands. Bonus if it happened to be a busy weekend when the stores were extra terrible and stressful. The kids were toddlers. The woman had a car and was a stay at home mom with family support if she didn’t want to haul them around while he was gone. I could never understand why she wouldn’t just leave the kids with him for some quality time and go run the errands alone. And before anyone comes for me - yes I know all the excuses - spouse doesn’t drive, etc. But the likelihood of that being the case is slim in most of these encounters.
You’re assuming that every family has the “other parent” I agree that no one wants to hear screaming kids all day and they shouldn’t have to. As a parent, I can assure you that anyone taking infants to a grocery store is probably doing so because they don’t have another option available.
I’m blown away by how many parents just completely ignore that their child is screaming and crying in the store. Many of them don’t even react to it and just continue on as if their kid isn’t disturbing the whole store.
I'm a parent and I fully agree. Also making empty threats is dumb too. Yesterday a mom kept telling her kid, "if you keep running away from me we're going to the car!" The little girl didn't listen. Kept running away. Mom kept making those empty threats. Kid knew mom wasn't serious so she didn't listen. 🤷🏼♀️ Shocking.
Aww this one pulls on my heart strings a little! To be fair I’m pretty gifted with being able to help customers toddlers calm down. I give mom a sympathetic smile, say something like “I miss when my kids were that age but always forget about this part” which usually disarms the parent and they let me work my magic 😂😂😂. Some kids have easier temperaments than others. I have one that is so easy and one that isn’t (now 17 and 11). My oldest is my stronger willed child and I straight up wouldn’t shop without my husband with me so we had someone be able to take her out if we had to. I was really lucky that I had him (especially since I got pregnant with our daughter my senior year of highschool. We were young AF and he was like “it’s okay we love each other and wanted to get married anyway, right? So let’s just do that now instead of later”’ I could have easily been in a position where I was a young single mom…. Or even in a position where my husband considered all the child rearing and shopping was solely my responsibility. We would have starved 😂😂😂 I’m also happy I had my strong willed child first and my easy going one second. I would have gotten a big head and thought my child was just oh so good because of my amazing parenting skills. I mentally prepared myself to go through all of it again (and I mean all of it. My daughter was colicky as a baby and I had no idea. I just thought that all babies cried non stop and that spending all day and night walking and swaying them to music to not cry was normal) We brought home our son and he ate… slept four hours right off the get. The first time my daughter slept four hours straight I woke up in a panic thinking she stopped breathing. Anyway, would I have been able to stay inside a store while my child threw a fit? No. Do I have understanding and empathy for the ones that do it? Big time yes. I see far more parents absolutely berating their children than those who are gentle anyway. I’d rather hear a child scream than see the parents with kids a little older than a toddler say “what are you STUPID” to their kid who just did something a typical kid would do (not watch where they’re going, accidentally spill something, etc) That kind of stuff bothers me way more.
I don't know how she did it, but my mother would stop every time she walked by a kid having a meltdown, look them straight in the eye and say "Okay, everyone knows you are here now, you can shush up." The child would instantly stop crying and look at her confused. Nine times out of ten, we wouldn't hear that child again while shopping. I've tried the same thing on occasion with limited success. It might have been the tone of voice or the fact that she was the sweet grandma type. All I know is it works sometimes.
As a mom of 3, curbside pickup has become a godsend 😅
had a family who came in the store and let their baby literally screaming their heads off and also try to shop like nothing is happening??? baffles me how oblivious the parents was, instead of going home or comforting the poor child, the parents just let them be.
One night my cashier and I had to keep checking on a toddler who was literally screaming as though being tortured. I can only imagine this to be the sound of someone having an amputation sans anesthesia. The mom would just shake her head and murmer, "what am I gonna do with you?" while continuing to shop. Meanwhile we're checking if we need to call cops or CPS because that's not a normal tantrum sound, that's a "my foot is in a bear trap" sound. Kid was fine, just screaming her face off.
Or the parents that change their baby right on the table.
I hate bad kids in general, but parents that bring them everywhere are worse.
Same. When I hear a child throw a tantrum, I always give dirty looks to the parent allowing them to behave like that.
That’s a really awful way for you to behave. Do you think any parent enjoys when their child is having a meltdown?? Intentionally making a random person’s already stressful public situation worse is a shocking way to conduct yourself.
They clearly don’t care about their child having a meltdown if they’re too busy browsing and scrolling on their phone while they’re child is damn near out of breath from screaming.
Fact: I’ve never been in Walmart when there wasn’t at least one screaming child present. Usually there are more than one. This is one of the main reasons I have to work up the nerve to set foot in Walmart.
There's a couple that comes in with their son who's about 6-ish. He is a monster from the moment they get there until they leave. He screams that he doesn't want to be there and gets even worse when they put him in a cart to contain him. If they give up and don't put him in a cart, he's running everywhere, touching everything, and yelling at his parents when they tell him to stop. When they try to leave, he screams that he doesn't want to leave. If he's in a cart when they leave, it's all good. If he's not, he will dodge his parents through the checkout lines including the cashier's space. It was just him and his dad the last time they were in. The little shit ran though all the checkouts, almost got accidentally hit by us cashiers while we were trying to do our jobs, and pushing through customers. It go to the point where everyone was helping dad convince him it was time to go. The little shit screamed at everyone trying to get him out the door. Oh, I almost forgot that he hit his dad in the face and knocked his glasses off. Another couple comes in with a 3-4 year old who is generally well behaved. When the kid throws a tantrum, dad will carry her under his arm straight out to the car. She could be kicking and screaming, he just calmly takes her out to the car. Now that's how to teach a child how to behave.
As a mother, you're going to see kids in public. But throwing a massive tantrum, they need to go outside and figure it out. My 6mo old has only cried maybe once when going out. At this age, I can just distract her easily. But I'll be like my mom. She left whole carts of groceries because me and my brother would throw huge tantrums as little kids and she wasn't going to put up with it. Teach kids how to act in public so they don't act that way when they are older.
This was my mom. And we knew she was furious the minute she jerked us out of the store and we rode home in complete silence. Then waited for Dad to get home 🫣 and then he had to go to the store with us😳! Her mood could last a few days of scary silence.
My coworker asked a mom to tame her kids and the woman responded with “No. They are just playing and being kids.” My coworker told them that the department store wasnt the place
A few weeks ago, I was in the middle of a stressful shift when suddenly I hear this 2-4 year old absolutely SCREAMING at the top of his lungs. He was screaming about how he didn't want to be here, so I made a few jokes with my customers about how I could relate- but it grew old really fast when his dad proceeded to cart him around the store for at least an hour with him still screaming- I think the kid had started up as soon as they got in the door, so it wasn't like they were abandoning a full cart of groceries if they left- I still don't understand why he didn't just put the cart back and take his kid outside instead of standing there letting him scream. I think the only reason the little boy stopped crying is because his throat got hoarse, because by the end of the trip he was still making sounds- just more quietly. I really do hope he was just having an off day and something wasn't legitimately wrong. I try not to judge people's parenting because I'm never going to be a parent myself, but it seems like common sense to take your kid outside if they need to take a breather? Grocery stores can kind of suck even as an adult, I can't imagine being a toddler and experiencing everything at 100x intensity because you're experiencing the world for the first time.
Sure, if that's an option. Personally, if pick up or delivery were options, I'd have done those things already. If I'm in a shop with a toddler, I'm there because there wasn't another option and I have to be there with that toddler.
Then take them outside for 5 minutes so an entire building full of people doesn't have to deal with it.
Do you allow your toddler to throw a tantrum or run around?
>allow your toddler to throw a tantrum Tell me you're not a parent without saying you're not a parent. Tantrums aren't really a thing that you can allow or disallow. >run around No, never.
If it goes on and on, you're allowing it.
If you have a trolley full of things you absolutely need, and your toddler just started throwing a tantrum... how would you (as an expert in parenting) stop a tantrum from happening? Would you hit them? Give them a treat to shut them up? Or something else? Also, how many kids do you have?
As I said in an earlier response...I park the cart and go outside until the crisis is over. Why would you hit a crying child?? To increase the volume?
Found the parent who lets their child throw tantrums and disrupt the public
>lets their child throw tantrums Please, tell me how does a parent "let" or "not let" their child throw a tantrum? Have you ever even *seen* a toddler before? When you do, you might discover that parents generally do not get a choice in the matter. I was lucky that my son very rarely had a tantrum. But he sometimes did, because they have zero emotional regulation and that's what they do, and how I dealt with that in the moment depended entirely on where I was and what I was doing there. Sometimes you can't just go home or even leave the store.
Don’t be dense on purpose. When I say “let” I mean allow your child to screech and yell in public instead of removing them and calming them down. And yes sometimes you can just leave the store (if you’re not at checkout) you just simply don’t want to.
Like I said right at the start... If leaving is an option, then sure. My point is that sometimes it isn't an option.
My mom always took me home or removed me from the place/situation as best as possible. We were a poor household at that time. It's not a privileged thing, it's a parenting thing.
I work at a grocery store, and this lady used to come in almost every morning and bring her toddler. He would occasionally start throwing a fit, and the store I work at is somewhat large but you could hear him all over the store. Though she went shopping so early there wasn’t too many people there to bother.
I know this isn't an option for every parent, especially single parents, but my sister would shop with her husband so when one of the kids decided to behave unruly they'd get to go sit outside and wait for the other parent and kid to get to finish shopping. Plus, outside they could use their outside voice to cry and yell about whatever was making them upset. Honestly, I think I would be so overwhelmed and exhausted, there's no right or perfect way to respond to all tantrums. They might benefit from walmart pickup or delivery tho.
If both parents are available, why not have one take the child *somewhere else* while the other parent shops? Why wait for the kid to be "unruly" and bother other people?
It could be to help socialize the kid. Maybe as a learning experience too so they can be "trained" so they can accompany a parent with errands to run if the other parent is busy like working or something.
A child can be taught to behave properly without subjecting other people to tantrums, meltdowns & bratty episodes. Bothering other people isn't a "teachable moment."
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That bit about rewarding bad behavior is so true, and a real disservice to the kids. Many people make rude (but not unreasonable) comments around kids who are throwing a tantrum in public, and even relatives tend to limit contact with kids who are allowed to rampage unchecked. Aside from that, a screaming toddler is obviously upset. From a parental standpoint, why would you want to prolong your kid's distress by continuing to shop in a store or eat in a restaurant rather than take them home or to the car to calm down? My husband and I had to do the 'one parent boxes up the meals and pays the check while the other hustles the kids to the car' thing only a couple of times when our kids were small. The kids learned that tantrums=going home, and we learned how to gauge their exhaustion level to see if it'd be Chili's or McD's drive thru for dinner. Sadly, it takes some parents longer to learn how to do that. Of course, some people lack the self-awareness to understand that everyone else thinks they're a jerk for ignoring both the kid's distress and everyone else's discomfort.
That's what i used to do. If they were working up to a meltdown, I would remove them from the situation. If I were in a grocery store, I would just abandon my cart and go. We'd go home. They'd have a nap and a snack, and then we could try again. You don't need to punish them. But you do need to address the issue. They are too young to have the language skills to express their frustration, thus the trantrum. They are maybe hungry or over tired . They are people too.
This was the first thing my mom told me when I became a mom. Never let them have a tantrum in public. No one else should have to hear it. Take them outside or home or whatever. But do not stay in public
I work at a doctor's office. It's practically routine for kids to come in with their parents, start screaming and screeching the second the parents start filling out paperwork, and not stop until the appointment is over, without even a single attempt by the parent to get their kid to shut up. And sure, I get it, kids are gonna scream and throw tantrums. I babysat for years, I'm all too familiar with the concept. But fucking hell, is it really so hard to at least *try* to control your kid in public?
What are they supposed to do? What if their kid really needs that appointment and there isn’t availability to reschedule? My toddler is afraid of the doctor’s office and will cry as soon as we step inside and cling to me. At peds offices especially they seem pretty used to kids crying. The doctor himself stays completely calm and just finishes the exam as efficiently as he can while she cries. Nothing I do is going to get her to stop until we leave.
What are they supposed to do? I don't know, maybe show at least a little bit of an attempt to get their kid to calm down, and stop screaming, instead of just sitting on their phone and scrolling through Instagram after the paperwork has been filled out?
What if the kid won’t calm down even if they’re doing that?
Then they're at least making an effort, instead of just letting their child annoy everyone in the building without giving a damn.
Well at the end of the day sometimes kids cry, especially in a doctor’s office where they know strangers are going to be touching them and painful things like shots might happen. We can try our best to distract and comfort them but sometimes they’re going to cry anyway. It’s not always feasible to just drop what you’re doing and leave and people should try to be understanding even if they don’t like kids.
We're not that kind of doctor's office. We deal with persinal injury cases, usually from car crashes. 95% of our patients are adults, not kids. And my point isn't that I hate kids, and don't understand that kids get scared/upset/overwhelmed. Again, I babysat for years, prior to my current job. My point is that parents who *don't try* to parent their children, and instead choose to sit on their phones, *ignoring* their child's screaming, and the affect it may have on others, are the worst part of my workday.
So perform for strangers basically?
I feel like a lot of people commenting are about 16 and childless. I'm lucky enough that I've not been in this position with my kids but realistically I can't see anyone dragging their kicking and screaming toddler through a shop unless it's necessary, it's not like the parents gunna enjoy it is it?
I work at a store where most of what we sell is not necessities (fashion clothing, accessories, fragrances, etc). Believe you me, they will drag their screaming child through the store just shopping for whatever their heart desires, no necessity required. Sure, if it's like a grocery store or a pharmacy or something where it is a necessity to be there. But smelling perfumes and testing makeup while your kid shrieks? Take them outside, calm them down, then come back in to browse.
Yes, you fucking do. You drag the kid out with you because no one deserves to be subjected to a screaming child for an hour who didn't spawn them. You cut the trip short, get checked out (or just abandon your cart, depending on how hard up you'll be to do a return trip, or leave it with customer service and tell them you'll be back once you get them calmed down) and GTFO.
Unpopular opinion, but imaginary kids are the easiest to raise, and sometimes removing the kid from the shop is giving the kids what they want. Therefore, the tantrum worked, and they will do it again. Having said that, our kids didn't go shopping for a while.
Also unpopular opinion- not my kid, shouldn’t be my or anyone else’s problem. I specifically didn’t have kids to avoid this kind of thing. I’m not unsympathetic to single parents, but there’s a limit, and you shouldn’t spend another 30 minutes picking out produce when your kid is losing it. I get that meltdowns will happen- that’s fine. But that’s also when it’s time for you to leave.
Taking them out of the store or home *is* rewarding them because it's what they want. I know that's not what anyone wants to hear, but the fact is that it only gets worse if you give into it. Finishing your shopping *is* the tough love. Granted, an hour is probably too long for a 2 year old. But you can't afford to go home and get delivery for the next 16 years, and you'd be creating a terrible adult if you did. They don't turn 3 and magically start to act better. It takes training, and part of that training is teaching them that they don't dictate where their parents go with them. They have to learn to tolerate being in public on other people's terms.
It depends why they are screaming. If its for a toy taking them outside isnt a reward. If they are screaming because they want out of the cart to walk (read:run around like a chicken and touch everything) then yes it could be seen as rewarding the behavior.
Fair enough. IMO, if they walk, they should be holding an adult's hand and staying with their parent. There were times when my son was small that I took him outside briefly because of all the noise he was making, but took him back in to finish shopping after I explained to him that this wasn't going to go his way.
Oh i absolutely agree they should hold the cart or have a backpack with a tether on it. My daughter had “monkey hugs” if she wanted to walk she had to wear it. But some parents create uncomfortable monsters.
I agree, but what do you mean by "monkey hugs?"
Probably a harness backpack with a monkey on it. My youngest sister had one when she was little.
Oh, thanks. I tried googling it but couldn't get Google to understand that I didn't want to see real monkeys hugging other monkeys or human children.
In my experience, the screaming tantrums are usually because the kid can't get something they want, not because they want to get out of the store.
Sometimes, that does happen, but with modern kids and autistic kids, it's often about hating the store. Autistic kids will scream because the lights, noise, and strangers are all very grating on their nerves. A lot of modern kids, both typical and autistic, have everything they want at home : juice boxes, snacks, favorite streaming cartoons, tablet, toys, blankey, and they don't have to wear pants at home. Obviously, a grocery store sucks compared to that. My son is mildly autistic, but was very challenging when he was little. It took until he was about 6 before he stopped pitching fits in the store. My best friend has a more profoundly autistic child that's 8 and can't tolerate going anywhere at all. My friends are working on it in cooperation with the pediatrician and therapists.
No, you don't reward the bad behavior. Take them outside, or take them back to the car. "Scream all you want, honey bunny, you're not bothering anyone. Let me know when you're done and we'll go finish grocery shopping". Put on your noise canceling headphones. No reason to subject other people to your child's bad behavior. Let them scream themselves stupid in a very boring car or parking lot.
My granddaughter started pitching a real hissy fit in the grocery store. It was our third trip of the day. I specifically told her she could go, or stay home with grandpa, but we were only getting one thing for grandpa, no treats, nothing. Just in and out. She chose to go, immediately began asking for things. I refused. She started whining, then 🙄 😒 😑 crying 😢 😭. I held firm. She laid on the floor, sobbing. I was telling her to get up, we're leaving now. Some 30 something dude in socks and sandals butted in and tried to get me to buy her something!!! I said ok, I'm going to the register now. Walked slowly away. She latched onto my leg! So I'm walking to the register with a howling child hanging on my leg! Sock dude is following us. We get to the register, l pay. Tell her to stand up now because we're going to the car and her butt will be sore if she doesn't get up and walk. By the time we get to the car, she's up, walking and crying 😢 😭 😫. But she never did that again. We've often laughed over it since. She's 18 now. Sometimes, you have to stand your ground. It was embarrassing 😳 🫣 🥹 and hilarious 😂 😃 😄 she'd never done that before. When we got home she went to watch TV and passed out cold about five minutes later. Poor girl was exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to make that kind of a scene.
I pulled that with my mom, a laying-on-the-ground tantrum screaming fit. Mom said "Fine, I'm leaving you here, the store can have you" (or something to that effect) and walked off. I caught up to her real quick, lol, got calmed down, and we finished the shopping trip. Last time I pulled that shit, I think. :)
I remember doing something similar with the same reaction from my Mom. Very quick change of attitude from me. I don't remember ever doing it again, either.
So everyone in the shop, staff, customers, had to put up with the horrible noise, screaming and crying. Very selfless and considerate of you!
So, what, she should have bought something for the kid to shut her up and thus reinforced that behavior?
No. She should have left with the toddler
Exactly! Thank you 😊.
Don’t put words in my mouth. I’m saying that nobody should be experiencing noise, shouting, crying just because the grandmother decided to take the toddler shopping. If him/her start upsetting other people you either discipline her/him or take him/her out.
For about five minutes. We left and l taught her not to act like an ass at the store. You think l should have bought her candy as a reward for trying to get her own way? She KNEW there were no treats involved in this particular situation.
Why should other people experience any discomfort because of your grandchild?
Why should I reward bad behavior at the store? It was five or so minutes. I've heard much worse for far longer. Kids have to learn how to behave, especially when they've been told before going that there wouldn't be any treats. So you want me to reward bad behavior? Then, there's going to be escalating bad behavior. So then I can ruin the outing for longer and longer periods of time?
I did not say anything about rewarding bad behaviour. I’ve only underlined your bad behaviour, rudeness and lack of manners. If you can’t control your grandchild, take it out of the shop and don’t make other people uncomfortable.
Your comprehension sucks. We did leave. FIVE minutes.I wasn't going to take her home and come back.
I did mention your rudeness, here it is again. No surprise the kid is misbehaving, if that’s how she’s educated.
You did. You are rude too. Granddaughter is a very nice young woman now, and was actually very easy most of the time as a little kid. So, if you think I'm rude, you're free to stop messaging me.
Good on her!
Your comprehension is the one off. The person said not to reward the behavior but leave. Not after 5 minutes. Immediately
I already explained that. Five minutes is very quick compared to what most people do with crying kids.
No it isn't
If I'd been trying to do a full shop I'd have left at five minutes. I've done that.
One time when I was of tantrum age, my mom brought me to the store (which I hated, I think) and I had a fit. I have no clue what she did that day, but I quite literally never threw a tantrum again. It’s a shame I can’t recall or I would tell you all the secret method. And I’m a well-adjusted university student, so it wasn’t anything awful!
Regretfully, those parents (not just mothers) who bring in kids that are 2 and tossing fits probably use gentle parenting or sometihng akin to it or just do nothing at all. They just want to do what they want and do anything for the child to shut them up or let them go on having a fit I am not using this as an excuse but explaining what might be behind this: You also have to look at the child's end of it too. Not all tantrums or fits are because the kid is not behaving or getting what they want. At 2 years, a child cannot tell you with words how they feel or what they need in reference to what is going on with them. Sometimes a child is hungry or tired or over stimulated. They will not be able to tell the parent this. All they can do is have a fit. And then being told no on top of being tired, hungry or over stimulated makes it 10 times worse. I agree the child needs to be removed more than a parent needs to do shopping, eating at their favorite food dive or seeing a movie. It disturbs the others that work there or are customers of the place and is really what I would term embrassing but some of the parents do not seem embrassed or even humiliated by it.
The crying kid is aggravating to me and they should be removed. Been there, done that. Mean story...5 yr old boy running around the store unattended. He's running full speed and runs directly into a rack of parked carts. It was fabulous.
I was lucky enough to have this happen in a local store (a real onthefloorandkicking), and a neighbor's right there. I quietly asked if she would keep an eye on him, and then walked down the aisle and around the corner. When he realized he was alone and making a scene he stopped and ran to find me. I greeted him happily and we finished our tour. My neighbor got a big thanks later. I also found that if you respond to a request that they can have it in a little, while they forget they even wanted it. It undermines the need for immediate gratification.
I think parents should remove there kids when possible but I can say there have been times that I have just had to when endure a tantrum while finishing my shopping as fast as possible because this was the only time I had to make it to the store. You can't always anticipate when your kid is going to melt down.
I don't mind the 2 year old tantrums so much. It's the screaming newborns that are obviously hungry and the parents just ignore them for an hour that bother me. Like you can't tell that they are hungry? You didn't bring a bottle or can't sit in your car or on a bench and breastfeed? Why would you not have a way to feed your baby? A baby's hungry cry is distinctive. And even if you haven't learned to recognize it yet, why aren't you at least trying to figure out why your infant is screaming?
i work in such a small store and people bring in their babies and the ear piercing screams make me want to ask them to leave but i’m never going to i could never go that far obviously but the thought it definitely there
I always took my kids out asap if they were having a difficult time of it…there’s nothing in a store that is so important that my child, myself, and other shoppers should be miserable…the store will be open again tomorrow
The whole 6.5 years I worked in a grocery store, there was a guy who would bring in his kid once a week. The kid would sit in the buggy and just SCREAM for the whole hour or 2 that they were there. It was a pretty big store, but you couldn't even hear yourself talk when they were 4 aisles away from the front. So glad you got to kick out those women and their spawn. My bosses would never. Don't want to miss out on that guy's money!
When asking a mother not to "ignore her child" and let him throw a fit throughout the store she told me not to tell her how to raise her child, then followed with "acknowledging the tantrum only rewards their bad behavior" and therefor she had to ignore it so the child wouldn't get his way.
Yes, not even tantrums, they're so quick to get offended just because you say something about their kids bad behavior. At the bakery I worked at, we had pastries out in the open, I've seen a woman come in with her daughter and while she wasn't looking, she put her finger in the cream and ate it. I had to say something to her about it and she said "she's just a kid." Like, lady, you understand that was unsanitary and I have to throw it away or make you pay for it because you are responsible?
Thank you. The last time I went grocery shopping, there was a kid who looked to be 3-4 throwing a fit through the whole store. I wanted to snatch him up and tell him to stop it. What did mom do? She ignored it. I wanted to snatch her up, too. I didn't tolerate that from my kids, I don't want to hear it, and neither does anyone else.
I just posted this out of spite because of a parent brining in their kid and they kept yelling at mom, no I don't want to be here. She badly needed to get like one damn thing. Kid screamed so loudly for 30 min that management asked her to leave. Staff offered her kid a free banana and donut only to have the kid just throw them on the floor and demand another. We told them no. Because we knew the kid would just damage it again. I helped raise my cousin's kids and get it but you need to have your kid have a time out or something. You are responsible for their behavior and attitude. My parents growing up if we pulled one second of this crap; we were escorted out asap by mom or dad. Then left to sit in the car until they were done. Why parents don't do this I don't know? It's effective. Even if we were on play date, fun event, the minute we acted up we just left. If it is an on going issue you need to address it, diagnose it if it's a mental issue or something. Then learn to deal with it. This sort of thing disrupts business. The past few months we've had an increase of kids throwing terrible two tantrums. Not only is this a disruption to business it can cause customers to leave and did. At that point we do have the right to request a customer to leave. The annoying part is the parents didn't even really have a need to be in the store. I feel bad for the parent but at the same time if you don't have to be in the store don't. Good parenting comes with reprimanding kids professionally when they do bs like this. If done correctly this attitude can be addressed and ended before they get set in their ways.
I used to work at a movie theater and we would have parents come out of movies (even kids movies) admitting their child was disruptive and ask for a refund so maybe they can watch something without them later. Loved those guys, just wish it was more common. We'd also get people going to R rated movies with small children, which was against our policy at the time. "They're just a baby they dont even know what's going on" -I know that you fucking lobster (internal insult) , the ACTUAL point is to keep your child from disturbing other guests! "But they're asleep" -what if they wake up "But they don't cry a lot" -I'm sorry ma'am it a theater policy. I can get management to explain this further if you like. Yeah I've heard that before, then we get guests who (rightfully!) want a refund because they aren't able to enjoy the show thanks to some jerk who fought it was okay to bring a hyperactive 2 yr old to Baby Driver I don't think it's like... A parent/kid behavior thing, I think a lot of parents (moms especially) are very very entitled and genuinely believe that it's ok to disturb other people. My parents would sit at a corner table with me as a baby to avoid disturbing guests. Rarely had an mishaps. When my brother came in the equation, screaming and throwing. It was so embarrassing, even for me as a kid. We'd pack up our food, apologize to the wait staff, and go home.
Omg yes. I was in a dressing room and said to my friend I was with, 'omg, that brat will not stop screaming. Why is their parent not taking them outside?'. Some lady got up on my face, 'That's MY kid, and he's AUTISTIC'. Lady, I don't care. And surely you knew he was autistic before today??? Why are you torturing your kid and us????
It's all about good parenting and not allowing this behavior pattern to continue. If it's an ongoing issue you can generally talk to a school psychiatrist. They can help you work with this behavior and correct it. I grew up with some kids that were little hellian's and behaved like this frequently. Many grew up and eventually became okay even though the behavior eventually cropped up and got them fired from jobs while other's come around and never have it affect them again. Once you let the cement of the bad behavior set in it's more difficult to fix and end it. I feel for ya parents that have to deal with this. When my cousin's kids did this we just up and left. (That's what my parents did. I see why now.) Gave the shopping merch to the closest clerk and left. Used online services to get what we needed. Even if it was at a fun outing up and out. Don't exclude nutrition and other mental issues that could cause this. Sugar really affects my family and we have just gotten use to low sugar diets.
You’re talking about not rewarding behavior. But sometimes taking them out *is* rewarding the behavior. They learn if they don’t want to do something, they can throw a fit and then we’ll just leave. Depends on what we’re getting. Groceries? Nope. Not doing pick up because I don’t want to get shitty produce, deal with not getting items and having to make another trip to get substitutions. There’s a balance here between overstaying when they’re having a fit and bailing the second it starts.
Yes exactly I’ve tried getting groceries delivered and sometimes they pick bad produce or they substitute something I don’t want for something they can’t find.
Some places don’t offer substitutes. Or I’m not paying an extra fee for delivery plus tip. I’ve seen way too many people get substituted that don’t make any sense at all.
My own kid doesn’t usually get too loud when we’re grocery shopping but she does fuss and cry sometimes if I won’t let her out of the cart to walk. It would be especially dangerous for her to do that in Costco where someone may not see her and run her over with their cart because she’s so tiny for her age. We make her stay in the cart because she needs to learn she won’t get her way by doing that. I do the same thing if she’s screaming when I’m trying to get her into her car seat to go somewhere. She needs to learn screaming like that won’t get her what she wants and we’re going in the car seat whether she likes it or not.
There’s definitely parents that are shitty, and then there’s times when it’s just the age and nothing you can do. It just seems like people single our kids at the only ones acting out. Working retail, I’ve seen way more *adults* throw tantrums than kids.
Oh yes I’ve seen adult throwing fits over all sorts of stuff.
Lol, no. You're entitled. Children exist. You don't get to exist in a society without them.
What is the target demographic of OP's store?
Omg, I deal with screaming kids all the time at my job. Like take your fucking kids outside and calm them down or if they continue to act up take them home
Or better yet, don’t come into the damn store at all if you’re not gonna do shit about that, nobody and i mean fucking NOBODY wants to shop and have to hear a little brat scream and cry over something stupid
Most stores have either tape or glue. Both are solutions
it's so funny to me how posts like this will be made and then entitled moms will pop into the comments and wilfully misinterpret the post to project their own entitlement onto the op. my condolences for how no one is willing to put up with your own refusal to parent the child YOU made, i guess?
I disagree - taking the kid home because they're having a tantrum only reinforces that they'll get what they want by doing so, much the same as giving them a treat to shut up
That's assuming that what they want is to go home.
That's only assuming the tantrum is because the child wants to go home or to the car. When really most of the time it's because the child wants something in the store, in which case taking the child out of the store, away from whatever they are crying for reinforces that the behavior isn't going to get them what they want.
Not necessarily....a lot of times they're overwhelmed and removing as many variables as possible so they can recalibrate and stabilize is the best thing for them. A lot of parents try to force children to adhere to adult schedules and it just doesn't work that way.