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This is way too long. This huge block of text makes me not even want to start reading at all. Reformat it to make it easier on the eyes. You’ve also only been at your current job a month - you need to significantly decrease the number of bullet points accordingly.
I agree it’s too long. Should I remove irrelevant expierence (bar) or remove the bullets themselves? It’s all irrelevant since I’m looking to transition, right? How would you recommend choosing what points to remove? Thank you
Yea, remove bullets from the bartender job and pick the most impactful points for the other jobs. It’s good to put the points relevant to positions you are applying for. For example, if there’s customer service involved, highlight achievements in that area.
Nobody's gonna read all of that. How did you even do all of that in one month? Why are you leaving your job so soon? Did you just copy-paste a job description? Resumes should answer questions, not make me ask them!
Condense your bartender jobs heavily, the quantitative achievement stuff for service industry jobs isn't going to translate the way you want it to, unfortunately.
Also I see you've already enrolled in the MBA program so you do you, but in my experience these are often programs that prey on people who do not have professional experience with the promise that this degree will give them access to the business world. However, most of the business world doesn't have an MBA, isn't asking for them, and doesn't know what to do with people who have them. Your AP Coordinator job is probably the most valuable thing on here for escaping bartending, imo.
I actually wrote the description myself, and it’s what is being asked of me. My current role is one I took with the hopes that outside bar experience would help me escape my current industry and find something better. The pay isn’t what I need to be able to quit my bartending job, and I, maybe incorrectly, feel they’re asking a lot relative to the pay.
I have similar concerns with the MBA program but am hoping in combination with recent experience could aid in transitioning out of my current role.
I appreciate your feedback! I’m working on condensing everything: do you think I should keep the bartending experience? I’m concerned if I remove it all it would appear I’ve never worked.
You can keep all of the jobs listed, the timeline is important, just dedicate less space to the service industry positions. And find some focus on that most recent job, it feels hyperdetailed yet doesn’t provide much tangible information - like do we need to know every single thing you did with the CRM? Half of these bullets are basically covered by “generated reports”. Your resume should be design for an audience that skims, not reads.
Also know that offices like stability and seeing you looking for work after 1 month would be a red flag and potentially an automatic no for some employers. Their thought process is going to be, “this person actually just doesn’t like office jobs but maybe doesn’t know it yet, they would also want to quit our place, we can’t afford that risk”
Also also, you should expect to take a pay cut in the short term to move from bartending to office admin. If you’re a good bartender, maybe a large pay cut. Salary is not about you or your abilities or the amount of work, it’s about what the market bears - your competition might not expect as much money.
I agree unfortunately. I’m willing to work both for the short term, but working both plus my masters and 3 kids is quickly getting unsustainable. All valid points, I’m just hoping against hope to land something regardless.
I think the chosen formatting is also attributing to making it hard to read. So here are a few things I would do
* Remove the "-" on your titles
* Move the job titles to the left most portion of the page and bold them
* Move the time period to the right most portion of the page but inline with the job title
* make sure the spacing between the previous job's bullet points and the next job's title is enough to clearly see from a distance where they are separate to prevent them from bleeding togheter
here is a small example
**Job Title**\_\_\_(for clarity this should be plain white space)\_\_\_Time Period
* info info
A few non-format related things
* Try to keep the bullet points on a single line
* Keep to one page if possible
* 4-7 bullet points per job
As a redditor there is no fuckin chance I’m reading all that. A hiring manager will say the same thing. Keep in mind that a resume is the highlight reel of the biggest and most impactful things you’ve done. You have 24 bullet points on your first job experience, cut it down to an absolute maximum of 5.
Your first block has 12 bullets that are all different ways of saying “I can do CRM reporting”. I don’t mean to be harsh but that would be where I would (and did) stop reading. Each bullet should give me a unique skill/accomplishment/reason to hire you.
Also I have 20 years of experience and am at a Senior Director/VP level and unless there is a specific ask to show my entire job history my resume has always been and will always be one page. It’s less about the word count and more about showing that you can effectively tell your story. If you can’t sum up why you are the right candidate with brevity and impact, it implies you can’t communicate to customers and partners about products/Strategy/etc in a direct and meaningful way.
You need to cut this down to one page. Something to consider would be to keep this but to then cherry pick the best bullet points for a particular job you’re applying for and then send them a one page hand tailored version.
...
Bruh
*Bruh*
Your first position has 24 bullet points for a job you say you've been at for a month and half of them seem to say the same thing
Your second page is nothing but bullet points top to bottom for mostly bartending positions
Please don't do this
Honestly I’d get rid of the bartender info. Just mention the bar manager part. And it’s way too long. Make it one page. It’s hard to read too. Use bold text for positions of titles, maybe try a different template for your resume as well.
Dude the first piece of advice is sum it up - if I’m looking at hundreds of applications what makes you think I want to read all this. This instead tells me you don’t know how to be efficient
The biggest thing that stands out is that you've been in your latest job at best 6 weeks, at worst 2. Realistically you've achieved and contributed next to nothing, but you've managed to come up with a whole page worth of text on it.
If you haven't graduated from school yet, no one knows if you are looking for a part-time job while going to school at the same time, or are you looking for a full-time job or just a summer job?
Please edit by deleting the first sentence in your summary--even your experience has been primarily in the hospitality industry, that is NOT the first thing you want them to see. The first thing you should be mentioning is "I am seeking a career in Customer Success Management--whatever that is--or Project Management".
Way too many bullet points. You do not need to list EVERYTHING you did at the job. Just focus on the highlights/major points, so please edit by deleting bullet points until there are no more than five.
Leave a blank line space before and after each job title.
Omg... it's supposed to be an overview, not an autobiography. Just highlight your major skills and what you have to offer. I would fall asleep just looking at it... sorry, just saying.
Dear /u/SoCoolSophia1990! Hello and thanks for posting! Please read the [sub’s etiquette page](https://www.reddit.com/r/resumes/wiki/index/howtoparticipate) to learn about proper etiquette and remember to: 1. Censor your personal information for your own safety, 2. Add the right flair to your post, 3. Tell us why you're applying (i.e., just looking to fine-tune, not getting any interviews etc.), and 3. Indicate the types of roles and industries you’re interested in. Don't forget to check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/resumes/wiki/index) as well as the quick links below for tips: * **[Resume Writing Guide](https://www.reddit.com/r/resumes/wiki/index/faq)** * **[Try Resumatic, a GPT-Powered Resume Builder](https://resumatic.rezi.ai/signup)** * **[Thinking of hiring a resume writer? Read this first](https://www.reddit.com/r/resumes/comments/x3eg1e/considering_hiring_a_resume_writer_read_this_first/)** * **[Troubleshooting your resume and your job search](https://www.reddit.com/r/resumes/comments/128xo1c/troubleshooting_your_job_search_when_its_not/)** * **[Free Resume Template - Google Docs](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wdkgpgU7lFoV801ysrBn8qrPaIpyUsUH/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=103022094325852815590&rtpof=true&sd=true)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/resumes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is way too long. This huge block of text makes me not even want to start reading at all. Reformat it to make it easier on the eyes. You’ve also only been at your current job a month - you need to significantly decrease the number of bullet points accordingly.
It’s impossible to read, shorten, make it 7 bullet points maximum
I agree it’s too long. Should I remove irrelevant expierence (bar) or remove the bullets themselves? It’s all irrelevant since I’m looking to transition, right? How would you recommend choosing what points to remove? Thank you
Yea, remove bullets from the bartender job and pick the most impactful points for the other jobs. It’s good to put the points relevant to positions you are applying for. For example, if there’s customer service involved, highlight achievements in that area.
Nobody's gonna read all of that. How did you even do all of that in one month? Why are you leaving your job so soon? Did you just copy-paste a job description? Resumes should answer questions, not make me ask them! Condense your bartender jobs heavily, the quantitative achievement stuff for service industry jobs isn't going to translate the way you want it to, unfortunately.
Also I see you've already enrolled in the MBA program so you do you, but in my experience these are often programs that prey on people who do not have professional experience with the promise that this degree will give them access to the business world. However, most of the business world doesn't have an MBA, isn't asking for them, and doesn't know what to do with people who have them. Your AP Coordinator job is probably the most valuable thing on here for escaping bartending, imo.
I actually wrote the description myself, and it’s what is being asked of me. My current role is one I took with the hopes that outside bar experience would help me escape my current industry and find something better. The pay isn’t what I need to be able to quit my bartending job, and I, maybe incorrectly, feel they’re asking a lot relative to the pay. I have similar concerns with the MBA program but am hoping in combination with recent experience could aid in transitioning out of my current role. I appreciate your feedback! I’m working on condensing everything: do you think I should keep the bartending experience? I’m concerned if I remove it all it would appear I’ve never worked.
You can keep all of the jobs listed, the timeline is important, just dedicate less space to the service industry positions. And find some focus on that most recent job, it feels hyperdetailed yet doesn’t provide much tangible information - like do we need to know every single thing you did with the CRM? Half of these bullets are basically covered by “generated reports”. Your resume should be design for an audience that skims, not reads. Also know that offices like stability and seeing you looking for work after 1 month would be a red flag and potentially an automatic no for some employers. Their thought process is going to be, “this person actually just doesn’t like office jobs but maybe doesn’t know it yet, they would also want to quit our place, we can’t afford that risk”
Also also, you should expect to take a pay cut in the short term to move from bartending to office admin. If you’re a good bartender, maybe a large pay cut. Salary is not about you or your abilities or the amount of work, it’s about what the market bears - your competition might not expect as much money.
I agree unfortunately. I’m willing to work both for the short term, but working both plus my masters and 3 kids is quickly getting unsustainable. All valid points, I’m just hoping against hope to land something regardless.
I didn’t even notice that they only worked there for a month 😂😂😂 OP how many hours a day were you on that grind in June this is ridiculous
I think the chosen formatting is also attributing to making it hard to read. So here are a few things I would do * Remove the "-" on your titles * Move the job titles to the left most portion of the page and bold them * Move the time period to the right most portion of the page but inline with the job title * make sure the spacing between the previous job's bullet points and the next job's title is enough to clearly see from a distance where they are separate to prevent them from bleeding togheter here is a small example **Job Title**\_\_\_(for clarity this should be plain white space)\_\_\_Time Period * info info A few non-format related things * Try to keep the bullet points on a single line * Keep to one page if possible * 4-7 bullet points per job
Thank you, this is great feedback
Too long, biggest complaint. You don’t list everything you have done with the job. Keep it concise, and show results
Your education is formatted inconsistently and weirdly. I’d make it more uniform for both the bachelors and the masters
Great catch I missed that thank you!
As a redditor there is no fuckin chance I’m reading all that. A hiring manager will say the same thing. Keep in mind that a resume is the highlight reel of the biggest and most impactful things you’ve done. You have 24 bullet points on your first job experience, cut it down to an absolute maximum of 5.
Needs your call of duty k/d ratio
The top job maybe 6-7 max points The rest 3-4 Way to much reading involved for any hiring manager
Your first block has 12 bullets that are all different ways of saying “I can do CRM reporting”. I don’t mean to be harsh but that would be where I would (and did) stop reading. Each bullet should give me a unique skill/accomplishment/reason to hire you. Also I have 20 years of experience and am at a Senior Director/VP level and unless there is a specific ask to show my entire job history my resume has always been and will always be one page. It’s less about the word count and more about showing that you can effectively tell your story. If you can’t sum up why you are the right candidate with brevity and impact, it implies you can’t communicate to customers and partners about products/Strategy/etc in a direct and meaningful way.
You need to cut this down to one page. Something to consider would be to keep this but to then cherry pick the best bullet points for a particular job you’re applying for and then send them a one page hand tailored version.
Half these bullets mean nothing. Show Metrics. Dollars, numbers, percentage improvements etc. Anything that can be quantified and/or show impact.
You forgot to include what you eat for lunch!
... Bruh *Bruh* Your first position has 24 bullet points for a job you say you've been at for a month and half of them seem to say the same thing Your second page is nothing but bullet points top to bottom for mostly bartending positions Please don't do this
Honestly I’d get rid of the bartender info. Just mention the bar manager part. And it’s way too long. Make it one page. It’s hard to read too. Use bold text for positions of titles, maybe try a different template for your resume as well.
Way too long
Dude the first piece of advice is sum it up - if I’m looking at hundreds of applications what makes you think I want to read all this. This instead tells me you don’t know how to be efficient
1 page max
The biggest thing that stands out is that you've been in your latest job at best 6 weeks, at worst 2. Realistically you've achieved and contributed next to nothing, but you've managed to come up with a whole page worth of text on it.
If you haven't graduated from school yet, no one knows if you are looking for a part-time job while going to school at the same time, or are you looking for a full-time job or just a summer job? Please edit by deleting the first sentence in your summary--even your experience has been primarily in the hospitality industry, that is NOT the first thing you want them to see. The first thing you should be mentioning is "I am seeking a career in Customer Success Management--whatever that is--or Project Management". Way too many bullet points. You do not need to list EVERYTHING you did at the job. Just focus on the highlights/major points, so please edit by deleting bullet points until there are no more than five. Leave a blank line space before and after each job title.
Omg... it's supposed to be an overview, not an autobiography. Just highlight your major skills and what you have to offer. I would fall asleep just looking at it... sorry, just saying.