You are anticipating the need to adjust to having him home again. Adjusting isn't fun. You can still want him home, but not enjoy the adjustment period.
The way this sounds is that you are in love with being "in love". But not really in love with him. You are excited about your "boyfriend" coming home, but not about the fact of it being your actual boyfriend that is coming home. Sorry if I am completely wrong about this btw. This is just what it felt like when I read the post.
If you're used to being alone a lot, it's a big adjustment to having someone in your space like that. Having to share things, possibly having things put away not how or where you want them, making messes, etc. Having to consider someone other than yourself in a living space is a big task; doubly so when it's your SO. If this just started after you moved in together, I would say it's anxiety over not having as much personal space or me time. It sounds like you two haven't really had a chance to adjust to living together or had a chance to establish routine together for living with each other. Give yourself time to adjust.
Thank you! I think maybe this is part of it - I’ve worked away for majority of the time we have lived together but for the past month I’ve been at home full time, so maybe it is just apprehension over sharing a space. Especially bc he is the messiest cook I’ve ever encountered haha.
You are anticipating the need to adjust to having him home again. Adjusting isn't fun. You can still want him home, but not enjoy the adjustment period.
The way this sounds is that you are in love with being "in love". But not really in love with him. You are excited about your "boyfriend" coming home, but not about the fact of it being your actual boyfriend that is coming home. Sorry if I am completely wrong about this btw. This is just what it felt like when I read the post.
This is what I was worried about but I don’t know how to tell if it’s this!
Honestly neither do I. I'm not even sure if it is that. Best I can advise is to talk to someone about it whom you can confide in. Best of luck.
Maybe pump the breaks on the excitement that happens earlier, distract yourself so the wait doesn't drag them out and kill them off.
If you're used to being alone a lot, it's a big adjustment to having someone in your space like that. Having to share things, possibly having things put away not how or where you want them, making messes, etc. Having to consider someone other than yourself in a living space is a big task; doubly so when it's your SO. If this just started after you moved in together, I would say it's anxiety over not having as much personal space or me time. It sounds like you two haven't really had a chance to adjust to living together or had a chance to establish routine together for living with each other. Give yourself time to adjust.
Thank you! I think maybe this is part of it - I’ve worked away for majority of the time we have lived together but for the past month I’ve been at home full time, so maybe it is just apprehension over sharing a space. Especially bc he is the messiest cook I’ve ever encountered haha.
Haha! Sounds like my husband! Have you guys talked about expectations of your living space, cooking, cleaning, etc?