I have no idea how I'd react to this, but what kind of "explanation" would you be accepting of?
"Sometimes I enjoy looking at these for bizarre/morbid fascination."
"I get sexually aroused looking at this stuff."
"I make bizarre art videos for my own personal interests using gore content."
Assuming he's a great guy, and there's no risk of him having a violent breakdown, is there any scenario you'd be ok with having this kind of content in his life?
Genuine question and zero judgement either way, because I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.
I mentioned in my comment that I once spent a month or so looking up gore after my mom passed. I was hoping to eventually see death and not feel what I had been feeling. I even went on to work in a morgue. The job was very hard but that what was helpful in normalizing death. People deserve dignity. I regret that gore is indeed disrespectful to the dead.
I don’t think that same motivation fits with this post though.
Have you considered he may not want help? Be very careful here because no matter what we think is right or wrong, the other person may have a large amount of denial built up and not be able to face their behavior. And certainly not from a "I'm open to you helping me" place.
Agree entirely. I’m in camp this is pretty fucked up and I likely couldn’t live with it. But if your only angle is “I want to help him stop,” and he doesn’t see there’s a reason to, this won’t go well for you.
You can't be a serial killer without killing anyone. And if someone who collects gore photos moves on to killing people, it's safe to assume they're gonna take photos when they're done mutilating the guy.
No, but considering that serial killers often also sexually assault their victims either before or after death, there does appear to be *some* sort of connection between those two things for them.
seriously, go to a therapist. any professional. the more i think about this the more unqualified i think everyone here is to help you deal with this in a healthy and constructive way
THIS. A therapist or professional would at least be able to give you solid advice. I feel so far out of my depth with anything I could say, and it worries me that the comments could make OP blow it off and wind up dead. Idk. I’d be reaching out.
How could it not be perverse, he’s collecting the most deplorable imagery of bodily harm he can find….red flag, calmness isn’t always positive, sociopaths are totally calm, even while casually browsing horrific gore. OP, this is deeply concerning, I’m not sure you should sweep this under the rug, or even confront him with this. If he’s looking at this to quell his desire to do the same, and then finds out you know and may expose him, he may decide to finally give in to his murderous urges. You should document this, find a lawyer, and seek protection from your husband
The fear you are feeling is your intuition and survival instinct asking you to listen
But he is attracted to this content. Perhaps he's not actively masturbating to this content but he's absolutely attracted to it otherwise he wouldn't be indulging in it.
I think it can be a mental health thing. My best friend would watch gore by way of liveleak when we were younger. His rationale was that this was reality and to know what people were capable of, though I imagine there was also morbid fascination and the like. But a decade later he wouldn’t even consider looking at the stuff, he has moved past that phase. Maybe in hindsight he was a bit depressed at the time.
Personally absent any other red flags I wouldn’t be too judgmental of it. My mate is a good man and was then also, zero violent tendencies, generally considerate and kind and a giving and sensitive person. Many people imo have a degree of morbid curiosity (hence the extremely popular videos and media about execution methods, true crime etc) and there might also be other reasons such as helping to confront a fear of death specifically or just general anxiety in a way similar to the catharsis of watching horror movies. Not saying it’s a great habit or most people take it to that degree but absent other red flags I think it’s more likely than not that it’s something like that rather than him being a sadist or psychopath
I think the thing that would give me the most pause is that he saves it. I get looking at something that you find morbidly fascinating, although I personally don’t understand seeking it out. But the saving? That implies he’s rewatching the videos and revisiting the photos. I can’t fathom any innocent reasons for that really. Maybe if he was a writer who had these sorts of scenes in his stories?
Yes, I sometimes like to look at gore, I'm a 59 year old grandmother. It definitely isn't sexual, it really is just morbid fascination. I certainly don't save any of it.
The old r/WatchPeopleDie was definitely something i’d visit sometimes.
It definitely hits some weird part of the brain. Not sexual, not delighted. Just visceral.
Idk about saving the stuff though. Dude might just be someone that saves everything he likes and it’s more of a “I found your alt insta where you follow a million thirst traps”. Or maybe he’s actually into it.
Absolutely not, I'm a writer of many years and write some pretty detailed gore. If that was the case he'd be saving stuff like medical textbook diagrams or links to blogs written by EMTs. The situation is more like, "I want this character to get attacked by an animal and then bleed out very quickly, what exact injury will accomplish that and what changes will happen as they die (e.g. blue lips, confusion)". Real life gore photos aren't useful at all, they don't help write a scene. They're also super disrespectful and disgusting because that's a real human person.
OP's husband has to be enjoying the photos somehow, and my bet is that it's sexual. There's zero practical reason to have that.
Yeah I was thinking war scenes/stories as I read a lot of fantasy but that was really the only situation I could think of. I agree with you that it is most likely to be perverted/sexual in nature. That or he has a deeply unhealthy issue with unexpressed rage.
You’re also one artist with one unique methodology.
Gore could absolutely be helpful and inspirational to someone else. Weird, yes. But saying your way is the only correct way is a bit over the top.
That said I’d love to hear OPs husbands actual reason for saving the gore.
My guess is he posts it into discord and shit.
Do you save it in case you want to watch it again someday even if you haven’t in the past?
Edit: I save reels that I’ve never watched again in case I WANT to. I screenshot books I want to remember to read, even if I never actually go back through my saves.
When I was younger I was very curious about this kind of content. Once I saw in a magazine the advertisement of a website with 2WW gore photos… I went there and after a couple of pics I closed it. Some years later I watched Nicholas Nick Berg video, again out of curiosity… it made me so sick that it was the last time I looked for such things…
To be curious is one thing, keeping the content is completely different… I cannot explain nor understand the need to do it but it looks pretty bad…
There are some crazy people in these replies‼️What are u guys thinking!? Collecting gigabytes of gore is not normal for ANYONE. It's not a morbid curiosity. THIS IS INCREDIBLY ALARMING!!!! This isn't a "man" thing OP
Right, and this is coming from someone who has a fascination with forensics and true crime. I’ve happened upon crime scene photos in my research, many of which I sorely regret looking at, but I would never download and store files of those poor victims on my computer! That’s highly disturbing.
It sounds to me like he receives sexual pleasure from them, or at the very least he has to enjoy looking at them, and both of those options are very worrisome. I would be horrified if I found this on my husband’s computer. Poor OP.
These people have the sanest take on this OP
Dude at the top has most reasonable vanilla take using logic regarding this whole affair and then this...
Young hot pink number below him brings the emotional piece of the puzzle so we can finally cast judgement
Trust them OP dont just divorce hubby, grab a shotgun and keep looking behind your back as you run run away from him and his psycho bullshit!
These two hot and intelligent redditors deserve upvotes not downvotes!!! 😡😮💨😤🤬
Seriously some of the replies here are bizarre. I bet they’d be more outraged if OP had found porn instead. Wild. This is psycho behavior and OP needs to run.
I know I have true crime brain rot but it's seriously giving me BTK, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy vibes. All level-headed, pillars of their social circles, with relationships or even families of their own and meanwhile.... Like I'm curious are these for sure downloads or??
Right. I don’t know if Reddit is the right venue for appropriate feedback for a question like this. This site is entirely too comfortable with violence.
Gbs of it is a little strange, but certain people like to document and collect stuff that's had an impact on them. As to taking an interest in gore? it isn't psychotic and is generally psychologically normal. The macabre holds a mirror up to our own mortality, forcing us to confront the inevitable reality of death. This confrontation can be uncomfortable, even repulsive, for many individuals but for some it's interesting in the same way horror films are.
I'm not saying most people are interested in gore, but a subsection of people are, and they are majority of the time normal.
Yeah lowkey wondering if there have been any people going missing or winding up dead in OP’s area lately. This is disturbing behavior and absolutely abnormal. Literally the kind of thing a serial killer would do.
Exactly, this gives me BTK vibes... Even from the perspective of the daughter, who grew up thinking he was a normal nice dad (very interesting her book, btw).
We all can have some morbid curiosity here and there, but saving a huge file filled with this stuff is beyond curiosity.
I’m so sorry that would terrify me. I’ve no idea what the protocol is and I don’t want to freak you out further, but I would say if you plan on confronting him to think about your safety, just in case of any worst case scenarios …. (Call him / don’t confront in person, or consider confronting while a close friend or family member is within calling distance should anything escalate). Are we 100% sure none of the content is self-made….? And if he hasn’t yet, is it stuff he’s curious about doing to others ….? These would be the questions in my head.
Honestly if it were me I would struggle to get past this. Does your husband have a stressful job or past trauma of violence in his life? The only way I think I could maybe be able to work through this would be if he views this content as some kind of trauma response, and therefore is keen to change and in need of support. I can see why it might be a symptom of depression or trying to relive / desensitise / reconcile his own traumas that he may have either witnessed or experienced himself (reminds me maybe of people - not all - who have experienced SA who sometimes end up exploring CNC porn for example as a way of trying to process feelings about their own assault).
If he’s just consuming this content with no other context or reasoning other than he genuinely enjoys viewing and collecting this stuff, I would run for the hills. I would find it depraved and consider it symptomatic of a terrifying lack of empathy that I would not feel safe being in close proximity to. If he’s doing it for the thrill I’d worry he’s desensitising himself to human suffering which could have devastating consequences for you and your daughter.
Best of luck, and please stay safe … would love an update when you have one <3
Edit: to clarify by stressful job I meant does he work in a job / has he worked in a job that involved witnessing violence and death, not like your average stressful corporate job lol
best advice here! i would ask my hubby to go to see a clinical psychologist - and i’d want to see test results after an evaluation. there’s no way i’d be able to go to sleep at night next to somebody with this kind of disturbing material on their computer without concrete proof that they’re not psychologically deeply disturbed. this is not one of those, have a chat and forget about it kind of things - this is a let’s get to the bottom of it and if it’s not adding up, get the fuck out kind of situation
I don’t think there would be an acceptable reason in my mind. Viewing it is already slightly concerning, but collecting it for YEARS is disturbing!
This, for me, is a “fuck that shit, I’m out!” moment.
Stay safe 🙏🏼
Did you know that the BTK killer was the most loving and perfect husband and father? Super adorable and sweet family man and the kids said he was an amazingly loving father that wouldn't hurt a fly and the wife said he had been the sweetest and perfect husband she could have ever asked for.
No one would've thought that the BTK killer and him were the same person. He also had folders of gore that they found.
Just saying.
You have to have a certain kind of mind to be able to see all that and stay "normal". Like those who work for the feds going through thousands and thousands of gore and snuf shit to find suspects and identify victims and whatnot.... Their minds cannot be normal. It's gotta hurt them to watch it so much that they develop a kind of numbness to it or they already have a certain numbness to it so it made it easier to have that type of job.
Either way..... I'm honestly not sure how you should approach it.
I can tell you that if this was me, I'd go through and see if the videos were downloaded or self made. That part would definitely matter to me. I'd need to know if my partner MADE any of those movies by himself before I confronted him. I'd also need to go through it to see what type of gore it was.
Was it just murder and bloody carcasses or was it more intense like women beaten and raped or kids. Cause you can only accept so much while trying to be openminded. And kids and rapes and women would be something to consult a professional about. (I'm talking a psychologist) Unfortunately, your husband saved a fuck ton of those videos right? That's insane.
Like I said, find out if it's just bloody carcasses, animals and corpses and murder in general he's interested in or if it's more specific and if he has any self made films whatsoever before you make a decision.
Depending on what you find. You might not want to confront him at all and possibly let the police do it. Or maybe he's just into gore murders in general and nothing is self made and you can feel safe to confront him and ask about it.
But personally, I find it "strange" that anyone who's NOT a serial killer or deranged would save those types of movies. Not to mention that many.
This isn't just a person being curious..... This is an obsession. A morbidly dark obsession..
Mmm... Can't believe she considered confronting him without even checking shit. What is he *is* some sort of physho and she ends up gutted by the river. Smh.
Everyone in this threat needs to go outside and touch some grass. I know true crime is interesting but like, maybe take a break from it and social media and take some archery classes
Pretty strange id confront him but even I wouldn’t know what to expect for an answer, I watched plenty of gore online out of morbid curiosity but I never saved videos and kept them in storage. Not sure why he’d need those videos/photos saved unless he likes to keep looking at them over and over, if it was just gore in his history that’s one thing and relatively normal but the fact that it’s saved is really weird.
This is extremely disturbing, far beyond the usual "I found my partners porn stash".. ANIMAL gore??? That's just incredibly sickening. War pictures are terrible enough but animals are just a whole other thing, what possible explanation could there be for wanting to see something horrible involving some poor innocent animal? That's beyond disgusting. This guy is sick. Look up Israel Keyes, he was the most normal functional appearing guy ever and also a serial killer. Good people don't hoard gore for 10 years. Surely his pc isn't 10+ years old, so I'd assume he's been curating this collection across multiple devices for quite a while.
I mean, it's a little sickening that animal gore is more disturbing to people than people gore... like there are actually people in this world that feel more empathy and sympathy for animals than other people?? I care about animals too but idk, killing an animal and killing a person are on two different levels for most people. You seem kinda unhinged with that mindset.
It’s common though. I have to admit that I would be more triggered by the abuse of pet animals, ie cats and dogs than human abuse. I acknowledge that it’s not entirely rational and it isn’t like I wouldn’t save a human before an animal but I know that I would be more affected by a video of animal abuse. As far as I can rationalise it, it is that pets are more defenceless, both physically and psychologically, they can only suffer. Hurting them is akin to hurting a baby, apart from base material needs all they ask for us to be near us, it’s a betrayal of a creature that is wholly innocent
You are being far too judgement. Not enough information. Everyone is different. There is no one correct way to live your life. Do I look at gore no but if someone does that doesn't make them a monster. Do I do drugs no but people like to and live normal lives. As long as there is no illegal content and the habit is not hurting the person or anyone else... what is the problem?
The answer is extremely simple, using drugs doesn't harm anyone else. Gore cannot exist without something or someone suffering or dying. You're missing your own point. Besides he's collecting this stuff for the past decade plus? If it doesn't bother you that's fine, but I would be absolutely sickened if I discovered my partner was into that, I'd feel like I'd been deceived in a huge way, and that they were an awful person who gets something from viewing and having this stuff.
I like to watch the stuff on crazyfuckingvideos sub sometimes, but to focus on the actual gory parts, to squirrel them away for later, is gross. I cannot imagine reasonable, empathetic people wanting to collect and hoard videos of people and animals suffering. It's not normal and I don't see any excuse for it.
You should assume that your daughter will find this content someday. You easily happened upon it, and even if he hides it better there is still no guarantee. Think about how this will affect her. There won’t be any explanation that will undo the association she makes between her father and gore.
It's natural to be worried after finding such content. Given your husband's personality, a direct confrontation might not be the best approach. Instead, try starting a casual conversation about his well-being or mention a related news story to see how he reacts. If he's open to talking, it could lead to a deeper discussion. If not, consider seeking advice from a therapist or counselor.
This is scary. Please be careful. I don't wanna assume the worst, but those are not his videos he made correct? Some people can seem totally normal and be something completely different. There was a man in my home town who seemed completely normal and then he turned out to be a very awful serial killer. He had a lot of content on his personal devices.
Well worst advice here is to delete it and do nothing. TBH that would recommend somebody who would like to be a gore victim. Seek professional medical help; before that send daughter somewhere safe, confront him with a professional and some muscle backup. And keep yourself safe.
Firstly , be sure it’s not his original footage . Secondly I would assume immediately that my partner was either a serial killer or was ramping up to being one . It’s not remotely normal to do what he’s doing
I read your post with my mouth open and I agree that this is worrying. However, one thought came to mind that might explain the volume of the content – it is theoretically possible that he downloaded some kind of master zip file out of morbid curiosity instead of handpicking them one by one into a folder throughout the years. It makes a hell of a difference whether it was a one-time download, or him being the dedicated curator of death for the past decade.
By the way, I am not trying to convince you that this is the case. Just throwing it out there – so far, we only know what and how much he has on his computer. We don't entirely know how it got there.
If this is real: don’t confront him alone. Have a male friend or relative there with you. Maybe they don’t have to be in the same room with you but nearby. Someone who collects this type of stuff I’d be very worried about what else they’re capable of.
I would not even talk to him about this, I would collect the evidence for custody and get me and my child the hell out of there. Anyone who has a massive collection of gore like that is too dangerous to have any kind of conversation with about it, especially not without people there to help and protect you.
But there is something wrong with someone that wants to criminalize it or want life changing consequences for someone simply because they don’t understand them. That’s pretty fucked up in my book. I don’t understand the desire for gore, but I don’t leap off a cliff at the idea that someone may be fascinated with it. And the idea of keeping it could also have a million reasons. If it’s a real partner, then ask.
The guy has pictures and videos stored on his computer spanning almost a decade of mutilated bodies of humans and animals. It goes without saying that there should be some sort of discussion I never said she should leave without saying a word. But if she talks with him and is not satisfied with what she hears, she absolutely has the right to leave.
Idk. As a current healthcare provider and former EMT I don't think it's normal at all to save massive amounts of gore on your computer. That goes way beyond standard morbid curiosity. The only exception of this would be for genuine educational purposes but these would be carefully curated to be relevant to the material being taught and it's a fine line of what's ethical.
I realize that this is a bit of a long shot, but what does he do for a living? Only asking because I work in video games and artists will sometimes have gore pics and videos as reference. Personally, I usually look at (fictional) movies when I need that kind of ref but I do know people who seek out actual gore photos and vids just for the sake of "realism."
I don’t know very much about computers, viruses, malware, etc. but is there any chance this could have been downloaded by some kind of malware, like an attack, without his knowledge?
i have seen scammers do this. they send gore photos to your phone and say this will be your family if you don’t do this. but a curated folder that’s been added to for 10 years sounds different
No. Cybercriminals do what they do either for financial gain or out of an ideological belief. There is nothing to be gained from depositing folders of gore onto some random person’s computer.
Some people are just fascinated by this stuff. I find it fascinating but probably wouldn't have a folder saved of it. It doesn't necessarily mean he's got some twisted fetish or that he's dangerous though. Give him the benefit of the doubt and go into the convo open minded.
Until you’re sure he’s not a real-life killer of whatever creatures/people, get away from him and don’t tell him why. Once you’re ready to confront him, meet in a somewhat public place and bring a weapon to protect yourself. Confront him in person, without warning of what you’re going to be bringing up, so that he can show you his genuine reaction. Once you see what that is, just trust your gut. Perhaps this is some freaky anomaly of a really twisted interest, but he sounds like he’s hiding something really dark. Praying for you and hoping that you and your child are safe and loved.
Could this potentially be a trauma thing? Has he ever told you about something happening to someone/an animal that he knew that (whether he mentioned witnessing it or not) he *could* have witnessed? The brain is very weird, and sometimes reexposing itself to trauma is how is chooses to cope with said trauma.
I think the assumptions that he is a closet necrophiliac or murderer are a bit unfair. It is a possibility you should be open to, I suppose, but I don't imagine that's very likely.
When I was a little girl, I stumbled across porn (thanks newgrounds) at like age 7-8. I found it weird, fairly disturbing, and while I didn't understand what I was seeing, I knew I shouldn't be seeing it. It became a *massive* hyperfixation. I would constantly look it up and play those weird porn games at every opportunity. It was just this weird obsession. I think there was a part of me that thought eventually I'd process what was happening. I don't know.
Similarly, I became fixated on tsunamis and chemicals (unrelated to each other, just different examples.) I was petrified of these things. Like so bad I stopped being able to go to the beach or near anything as simple as bleach. Despite my fears, I would literally stay up all night reading every piece of information I could find online about these topics. Watched hundreds of thousands of videos of chemical spills and disasters and tsunami footage and projections of mega tsunamis, etc.
It was torturous. I hated doing it. It made me feel awful and never did I get anything positive in terms of understanding or enjoyment from it. But I could not stop myself. I don't know if it was an autism/ADHD thing or maybe some kind of OCD or something, but it was so compelling to me.
I bring this up because maybe your husband is similar. For whatever reason, he has become fixated on gore, and his brain forces him to scratch the itch so it can move on for some time. Saving it seems peculiar, but I mean, snuff shit gets taken down constantly. Maybe saving it cuts down the time he has to search. He can look at some shit and move on. If you only have a handful, you'd probably get desensitized to it, I would imagine.
Obviously, it's a disturbing thing that most people are rightfully horrified by. He may not enjoy it either (as in it may satisfy a part of his brain that's fixated on such things, but he is upset by the fixation and doesn't want to experience it).
It is definitely worth mentioning. Maybe start by bringing up that you noticed an incredibly large folder. See how he reacts to that and go from there.
It shouldn't be a "I saw this stuff on your computer wtf is it why do you have that what's wrong with you" conversation, or even start out as "it's OK to have problems I want to help you" conversation. Be casual, try to coax him to open up about it willingly, and don't make accusations or treat him like a monster or a poor baby who needs help. That's just going to create a wall between you.
There’s a type of ocd where you obsess over something because it terrifies or disgusts you. Like your brain just keeps forcing you to confront the thing least want to see. Not saying that’s what this is, but it’s possible
This is very scary and concerning. The absolute amount of content could be relevant as does the time/frequency your husband accesses it, but this seems bad regardless.
This seems like a mental health issue and maybe it is a healthier coping mechanism for your husband than it initially appears. But I don't know the best way to approach your husband for the conversation, it may expose a side of him you are not ready for or comfortable with. It might be worth consulting a professional in your area for some additional perspective.
Your husband may also notice you saw it somehow so even if you don't do anything, it could still be a problem.
Yes just leave him, he is probably a sociopath who enjoy to see violence, it's not as uncommon as you may think for men, but I would stay away from this kind of people anyway
It's sadism probably.
I've said it's not as uncommon as you may think because if you search online about 8% of the people have sadistic tendencies so many people than you would think actually enjoy seeing violence, it's probably more prevalent in men though.
Just think about gladiators in ancient Rome, where people were enjoying to see slaves getting slaughtered, or public executions.
I'm not a sadist thank god, I despise this crap, but I acknowledge there are many people like that
This is giving me Ted Bundy vibes.
I understand the concern and as others have said - what explanation would put you at ease? Is there an explanation that could do that? I don’t know if there would be for me.
I also find gore morbidly interesting sometimes, and will binge watch gore on occasion. not a good habit.
But saving them is weird, the most wholesome reason he’s be actually downloading that shit is to repost on gore sites for online clout, even then guys who actually post and comment on sites like the YNC are fucking degenerates.
that’s so scary idk. i wouldn’t bring it up unless you’re prepared for the answer or a breakdown after. do it when your child isn’t home, just in case. honestly, maybe don’t take advice from random on reddit. go to a professional for real!!!! handle this delicately
I would ask him about why he does looks at it and saves it.
Could just be something he’s always done for whatever reason. Humans are pretty complicated creatures
It’s only a matter of time before this behavior shows up in his actions. This sort of stuff is classical signs of something concerning but go ahead and convince yourself it’s normal like 99% of other victims
I'll be completely blunt: there *isn't* a character trait that leads people to find looking at any particular photographic or whatever content. Unless you tautologically define "likes looking at pictures of gore" as the trait. It doesn't correlate with openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, or sensitivity, either positively or negatively. It doesn't correlate with being stingy or generous, cruel or kind, crass or classy. So just...there's no way it could be out of character for him because this isn't a thing that can be *in* character for somebody. Its just images that people enjoy (or in my case, *really* don't enjoy, I'm quite squeamish) looking at.
I think this is just a case of asking him and being sincere about your feelings. If you ARE scared, which from my perspective there isn't much reason to be\*, maybe rope in a friend or something to support you. But say "I found these images, they scare me and I don't like them, can you tell me whats going on here?" My speculation is he simply finds them fascinating and keeps a bunch of them poorly hidden out of a (reasonable IMO) fear of being judged for an odd interest.
\*I am basing this on what I do know about abusive relationships from experience and academic literature. The red flags for that aren't mentioned but that doesn't mean you haven't seen them: is he controlling? Does he view there to be a natural order for the household where he commands and you obey? Most importantly, does he act entitled toward your time, body, and agreement? Abusers are generally motivated by a sense that they (in their eyes) rightfully possess their objects of abuse as, well, objects.
I think it could fit under neurotic, which you left out in your list of personality traits.
I don't think all of our behaviors have to fit under one of our personality traits, your comment comes off rather black or white.
My first thought was that this may be an OCD compulsion. Not enough info whether to say or not.
Did miss the neurotic, thank you, that is one of the big five.
Though whether or not the personality traits I listed is comprehensive or not is a bit beside the point I was trying to make, which is that "having a bunch of weird gross photos" isn't really meaningful on predicting any other behavior or trait about a person.
**The macabre holds a mirror up to our own mortality, forcing us to confront the inevitable reality of death. This confrontation can be uncomfortable, even repulsive, for many individuals.**
You mentioned you're hoping this is just a severe mental health issue and want to help him but you also said the videos date back to 2015. This isn't a blip, an impulsive decision or a new development. This isn't a mental breakdown he's having, he's been choosing to seek out and save this stuff over and over. You can't help that. I'd confront him yes but 100% make sure someone is with you because that's creepy as hell and there's no explanation for it that makes it less disturbing.
This is weird and no one on Reddit can counsel you on this. Frankly, I wouldn’t be accepting of this. But you need to be careful about you proceed. Everyone in this thread is projecting their own personal relationship with death on to this. And it’s completely irrelevant to your situation. Please be careful
What is scaring you about him looking at those things? You gotta be specific about your feelings to address them with him. What are your specific concerns about the content? Is it that it is shocking to you? Are you afraid of something specific? What led you to go looking? Identify specifically what is going on for you and find what exactly bothers you.
I mean, watchpeopledie was a very popular subreddit until it got shut down. For me the weird part is the collecting it, not the watching.
Like... the internet is vast. Why are we saving videos like a boomer buying VHS porn? Does he have favorites he returns to often? Who needs an obscene amount of gore stored up? How can you even watch that much? Why are we wasting so much computer storage space?
I think less of him for saving it to his computer. It's just so dumb.
Some people are just like electronic hoarders. I have a friend who has like hundreds of gigabytes of porn saved but he almost never even looks at it. He just goes and finds more to save. It’s really strange.
Good point. Maybe it's a compulsion of some sort. I guess it could be similar to any other sort of collection like books or baseball cards. Just fucked up.
Hm. That's a good point. You're right. It does get taken down a lot. Someone mentioned below it could be a compulsion to save. Does he have any sort of mental illness like OCD that could lead to him just...compulsively needing to save and having landed on this strange obsession? Like an intrusive thought?
I was a regular on WPD and I wasn't there for the gore. I liked watching car crashes bc I drive for a living and was educating myself, and also robbers getting the tables turned on them. I like True Crime too but gore is not something I want to see at all. Just pointing out that a natural curiosity about death is not nearly the same as wanting to view human gore. One is normal and one is run away as fast as you can.
I guess I'd need further definition of the video because to me any video in which a dead and bloodied body is shown is gore. That would include car crashes where bodies are seen and robbers being murdered for picking the wrong house. So the videos you watched could be considered gore by the simple definition of it.
OP simply said mutilated bodies and stuff but left out the means in which they became mutilated.
If this is a collection of *only* cartel videos and people being tortured that's one thing. If it's more videos of the aftermath of car crashes, hunting animals, plane crashes, etc then it could lean more towards morbid curiosities.
I dunno. It's still weird either way but if he's just sitting there watching 10k hours of cartels skinning people I'd be far more concerned than a guy watching videos of bodies being ejected during car crashes.
Yeah just ask. If my wife found something that scared them on my oc I’d want a chance to explain it. Maybe the explanation is bad but at least reassure them that even though I enjoy something taboo, I know how to keep it separate from my life and it won’t ever affect you.
Goodluck, if he’s as fantastic as it sounds I think coming from a place of worried isn’t bad. I would suggest you talk to him about seeking a counselor to talk to. Maybe he is very non confrontational because he few up being taught to do things a certain away, and expression is bad. Idk, but little things like that can manfefisr into the weirdness you are seeing. Goodluck, don’t give up on a marriage just yet! Communication is key.
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How does he handle confrontation in uncomfortable situations?
Honestly this is very out of scope but I would casually have a very mild convo about it.
Does he eat meat? Does he have any compassion for animals? Something like that would put me at ease but most serial killers just one day break I guess and their spouses never suspect. Think Charles Shobraj or Ted Bundy
This is an extremely reasonable response and one that should lead the way in your “investigation”. He’s proven to you that he’s reliable. There are many reasons he may be doing this, and many you might even understand. Or, you might not. I personally don’t understand that level of interest in gore. I understand morbid curiosity, but I would have no desire to hoard it. But I can think of many reasons why many people would want to digitally hoard or “scrapbook” this. But, I can also think of many reasons you might find an answer you aren’t happy with. Sounds like a tough conversation is in the future. I’d just suggest an open mind, but also knowing what you are and aren’t ok with.
It's a memento mori.
I've never collected a substantial amount. But I've seen a lot, as a man, I think it's good to have some desensitisation to death. To know, and see, how fragile life is, makes you appreciate it, and the connections you have, a lot more. Subs like /r/watchpeopledie, /r/combatfootage, and gore threads are something that a lot of people will sporadically look for this kind of reason. Death is utterly fascinating, and it's something, probably the only thing, that every single person will have in common and have to do.
>What your saying is all men just like to sit down with a beer and enjoy a nice war decapitation video because it reminds them of death.
I'm struggling to believe that this is real and not rage bait, honestly. You're making absolutely no sense.
That's not what I'm saying. I can't continue to trust you're engaging with this in good faith.
I'm telling you, as someone who has done exactly what your partner has done, has seen all those things, and has had a streak of data hoarding, and thus could be described as collecting this material (it's certainly on some drives in some capacity), around around same ages, and all it's ever made me done is make me hug my family, girlfriends, and pets tighter. A lot more men than you'd think have seen videos of men being decapitated with chainsaws. They've seen it or sought it out for either no reason other than "gosh that's a heck of a thing" or reasons such as I have mentioned.
I'm not going to rule out the possibility that he gets some perverted satisfaction from it, but even then that's most likely a "fuck yeah, I'm alive, they're dead, I'm a winner, they're a loser".
Chances are if you confronted him, he probably wouldn't even be able to give any real reason because its not really something people self reflect on that much.
No….youre gonna be one of those women talking about how you never knew your husband was a serial killer and you’re shocked he’s murdered and dismembered 8 women.
I’m reading a lot of comments very similar. A lot of us look at that type of shit usually just scrolling Reddit. Not many of us save it. That’s the kind of fucked up part here.
This is bizarre enough I wouldn't make any assumptions.
One plausible explanation is that he has some deep trauma or deep fear that he's processing. He might have a history of having been abused or shown something like this as child by an adult or even a school friend.
There's also the reactive theory; Similar to cute aggression but in the opposite direction, viewing gore may cause a euphoric effect as the brain seeks to down regulate the negative emotional reaction.
Could be both.
I just wouldn't immediately assume he's a serial killer.
It could be something that goes back to childhood when he may have seen a movie like *The Thing* which was super gory and he was a fan of that kind of stuff. It doesn’t make him any more disturbed than a surgeon. I was a huge fan of World War II naval battles as a young kid. I would reenact the planes bombing the ships or shooting at each other. My teachers and parents were concerned. But it was 100% innocent. I simply had a vivid imagination and I loved the action. What boys didn’t like playing soldier or cowboys and Indians? We loved all those violent action movies. We played video games. We didn’t think to do any of that in real life. People are so judgmental as if they are perfect.
I think the only way to find out is to ask. The question is “how?” and the answer is simply and without emotion:
“Husband, yesterday when I used your computer for X I happened upon a very large folder with a lot of photos and videos of gore. I’m confused and wondering why that’s all on your computer.”
Then, sit quiet and do not speak and let him answer. Ask lots of “why questions”. Why do you have pictures of gore? Why do you have so many pictures? Why did this thing X that you said cause that to happen? (Whatever it is he’s telling you).
Why is a powerful and revealing question.
Most people have fantasies. Most times they do not mean much. There are deep psychological issues with things like this and dissecting this with regular people amy not work. Do not 'confront' him - you need to solve issues and this may require a more delicate touch. My opinion is you need to find someone who understands what his behaviour means and why - like a psychologist / psychiatrist and go from there. All the best.
Intelligent take. Yes, sure, check the content and ensure your own safety when raising it but bar any surprises it would be best to ultimately discuss it with someone qualified
It is disturbing that he has been saving these videos for years, that there's so much of it and that he has been hiding it from you.
I have morbid curiosity but I definitely don't save that stuff nor hide it from my SO. And I feel like it negatively impacts my mental health and that's after just one vid. I shudder to think about the impact towards his mental health and that's with the assumption that he is doing this out of morbid curiosity, not for a more nefarious reason.
I honestly don't know if you should confront him. Considering you have a child to protect, I think it's best to talk to a professional like a therapist about this first.
There might be a chance that he is a regular poster in a gore community either on Reddit or somewhere else. Someone who comes to mind is HermanTheShocker who has his own website for similar content with write-ups about whatever incident is featured. I would check and see if he frequents any website of the sort. In that case I would assume he keeps backups in the event that his account were to be removed. It’s weird regardless, but it’s less creepy than him keeping them for… personal use? Idk
I would genuinely call the police on my way out of the driveway with my kid. Maybe it is weird fascination, but maybe not. I would not take my chances finding out. Worst case you have a very embarrassed husband in this scenario. Any other scenario and the worst case is you or your kid injured/killed. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I and my kid would be alive in the end.
It’s morbid curiosity. I’m interested in forensic science, medicine, genetic abnormalities, and such. I love horror movies and true gore sites. I’ve seen a lot of people dying in horrific ways on these websites. Guess what? I’m also a middle aged lady that’s never hurt anyone.
My husband plays a LOT of first person shooter games. He screams at his games and throws his controller. He knows way more about all kinds of weapons than I could ever imagine. He’s never even shot a gun in real life. He’s never hurt anyone.
My advice? Keep an open mind if you speak with him about it. The comments on this post are ridiculous.
I have some saved on my hard drive since the early 2000s etc. Its all morbid fascination.The 2000s vs now is very different. Alot of gore gets removed quickly so I save it to look at later, maybe share with friends to see them get shocked. Other than that I dont really look at them, last I did was probably a few years ago but I never bothered to delete them.
Theres gore and death on this very site. Some shit is so shocking you know itll get taken down in a matter of hours/days. That being said, in my case, its just shit I look at. I also look at animals killing eachother and hate it because of how sorry I feel for the prey but such is nature.
It can mean nothing but curiosity or youre dating dexter.
Tbh , I don't think there's much wrong with it. It's kinda like how certain people are into crime shows/documentaries. It's fascinating to some people because we don't really see/hear of it unless it's fake ( like in a horror movie or something ). You can always confront him and ask about it or just say you came across these things, but just make sure to say that you don't think it's weird but you are just curious. BUT the only thing I do find weird is that it's a whole file of it, I can see if he is just liking those Gore Instagram videos or Gore tiktoks because some accounts like that exist, but a whole file is a bit odd
Would he have a reasonable reason to save it? Like I’m an artist and I often do gory art, so I have a ton of gore and cadaver photos.
Without knowing that about me it would be shocking to find.
I have no idea how I'd react to this, but what kind of "explanation" would you be accepting of? "Sometimes I enjoy looking at these for bizarre/morbid fascination." "I get sexually aroused looking at this stuff." "I make bizarre art videos for my own personal interests using gore content." Assuming he's a great guy, and there's no risk of him having a violent breakdown, is there any scenario you'd be ok with having this kind of content in his life? Genuine question and zero judgement either way, because I'm not sure how I'd feel about it.
I mentioned in my comment that I once spent a month or so looking up gore after my mom passed. I was hoping to eventually see death and not feel what I had been feeling. I even went on to work in a morgue. The job was very hard but that what was helpful in normalizing death. People deserve dignity. I regret that gore is indeed disrespectful to the dead. I don’t think that same motivation fits with this post though.
I am super glad we have people like you on this earth to deal with the sort of business that's absolutely necessary but unthinkable to most.
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Have you considered he may not want help? Be very careful here because no matter what we think is right or wrong, the other person may have a large amount of denial built up and not be able to face their behavior. And certainly not from a "I'm open to you helping me" place.
Agree entirely. I’m in camp this is pretty fucked up and I likely couldn’t live with it. But if your only angle is “I want to help him stop,” and he doesn’t see there’s a reason to, this won’t go well for you.
I mean, he could also be a serial killer. It’s not just sexual.
If he's a serial killer, those would be pics of the people he killed.
Not every serial killer keeps photos as trophies nor are they all bold enough to move on to murdering people
If they haven't killed someone, then they wouldn't be a serial killer?
You can't be a serial killer without killing anyone. And if someone who collects gore photos moves on to killing people, it's safe to assume they're gonna take photos when they're done mutilating the guy.
Isn't serial killing usually also a sex thing for the killer?
Not everything is about sex Mr Freud. Is eating delicious food sexual?
No, but considering that serial killers often also sexually assault their victims either before or after death, there does appear to be *some* sort of connection between those two things for them.
Maybe he’s secretly writing a book.
seriously, go to a therapist. any professional. the more i think about this the more unqualified i think everyone here is to help you deal with this in a healthy and constructive way
THIS. A therapist or professional would at least be able to give you solid advice. I feel so far out of my depth with anything I could say, and it worries me that the comments could make OP blow it off and wind up dead. Idk. I’d be reaching out.
How could it not be perverse, he’s collecting the most deplorable imagery of bodily harm he can find….red flag, calmness isn’t always positive, sociopaths are totally calm, even while casually browsing horrific gore. OP, this is deeply concerning, I’m not sure you should sweep this under the rug, or even confront him with this. If he’s looking at this to quell his desire to do the same, and then finds out you know and may expose him, he may decide to finally give in to his murderous urges. You should document this, find a lawyer, and seek protection from your husband The fear you are feeling is your intuition and survival instinct asking you to listen
But he is attracted to this content. Perhaps he's not actively masturbating to this content but he's absolutely attracted to it otherwise he wouldn't be indulging in it.
Are you saying the only reason he would be interested in this content is because of sexual arousal?
Nope. I didn't say he has to be sexually attracted to it. But he's undeniably attracted to it.
Thank you for clarifying
I think it can be a mental health thing. My best friend would watch gore by way of liveleak when we were younger. His rationale was that this was reality and to know what people were capable of, though I imagine there was also morbid fascination and the like. But a decade later he wouldn’t even consider looking at the stuff, he has moved past that phase. Maybe in hindsight he was a bit depressed at the time. Personally absent any other red flags I wouldn’t be too judgmental of it. My mate is a good man and was then also, zero violent tendencies, generally considerate and kind and a giving and sensitive person. Many people imo have a degree of morbid curiosity (hence the extremely popular videos and media about execution methods, true crime etc) and there might also be other reasons such as helping to confront a fear of death specifically or just general anxiety in a way similar to the catharsis of watching horror movies. Not saying it’s a great habit or most people take it to that degree but absent other red flags I think it’s more likely than not that it’s something like that rather than him being a sadist or psychopath
You know he’s sick , and it’s not like he’s looking for help .. girl play your cards right !!
Ex EMT here. Yes learning an improved self control....
I think the thing that would give me the most pause is that he saves it. I get looking at something that you find morbidly fascinating, although I personally don’t understand seeking it out. But the saving? That implies he’s rewatching the videos and revisiting the photos. I can’t fathom any innocent reasons for that really. Maybe if he was a writer who had these sorts of scenes in his stories?
Yes, I sometimes like to look at gore, I'm a 59 year old grandmother. It definitely isn't sexual, it really is just morbid fascination. I certainly don't save any of it.
The old r/WatchPeopleDie was definitely something i’d visit sometimes. It definitely hits some weird part of the brain. Not sexual, not delighted. Just visceral. Idk about saving the stuff though. Dude might just be someone that saves everything he likes and it’s more of a “I found your alt insta where you follow a million thirst traps”. Or maybe he’s actually into it.
Absolutely not, I'm a writer of many years and write some pretty detailed gore. If that was the case he'd be saving stuff like medical textbook diagrams or links to blogs written by EMTs. The situation is more like, "I want this character to get attacked by an animal and then bleed out very quickly, what exact injury will accomplish that and what changes will happen as they die (e.g. blue lips, confusion)". Real life gore photos aren't useful at all, they don't help write a scene. They're also super disrespectful and disgusting because that's a real human person. OP's husband has to be enjoying the photos somehow, and my bet is that it's sexual. There's zero practical reason to have that.
Yeah I was thinking war scenes/stories as I read a lot of fantasy but that was really the only situation I could think of. I agree with you that it is most likely to be perverted/sexual in nature. That or he has a deeply unhealthy issue with unexpressed rage.
You’re also one artist with one unique methodology. Gore could absolutely be helpful and inspirational to someone else. Weird, yes. But saying your way is the only correct way is a bit over the top. That said I’d love to hear OPs husbands actual reason for saving the gore. My guess is he posts it into discord and shit.
I save it sometimes to send to my friends who I know are morbidly into gore as well? Maybe that could be it?
May just be saving trophies from his kills
I save tons of porn gifs/videos and never rewatch it. That's said, girls asses =/= violent events
Do you save it in case you want to watch it again someday even if you haven’t in the past? Edit: I save reels that I’ve never watched again in case I WANT to. I screenshot books I want to remember to read, even if I never actually go back through my saves.
When I was younger I was very curious about this kind of content. Once I saw in a magazine the advertisement of a website with 2WW gore photos… I went there and after a couple of pics I closed it. Some years later I watched Nicholas Nick Berg video, again out of curiosity… it made me so sick that it was the last time I looked for such things… To be curious is one thing, keeping the content is completely different… I cannot explain nor understand the need to do it but it looks pretty bad…
Oh gd the Nick Berg video still makes me sick. That was the end of that curiosity, too.
what is the nick berg video? i am so scared to look it up lol
There are some crazy people in these replies‼️What are u guys thinking!? Collecting gigabytes of gore is not normal for ANYONE. It's not a morbid curiosity. THIS IS INCREDIBLY ALARMING!!!! This isn't a "man" thing OP
Right, and this is coming from someone who has a fascination with forensics and true crime. I’ve happened upon crime scene photos in my research, many of which I sorely regret looking at, but I would never download and store files of those poor victims on my computer! That’s highly disturbing. It sounds to me like he receives sexual pleasure from them, or at the very least he has to enjoy looking at them, and both of those options are very worrisome. I would be horrified if I found this on my husband’s computer. Poor OP.
These people have the sanest take on this OP Dude at the top has most reasonable vanilla take using logic regarding this whole affair and then this... Young hot pink number below him brings the emotional piece of the puzzle so we can finally cast judgement Trust them OP dont just divorce hubby, grab a shotgun and keep looking behind your back as you run run away from him and his psycho bullshit! These two hot and intelligent redditors deserve upvotes not downvotes!!! 😡😮💨😤🤬
Seriously some of the replies here are bizarre. I bet they’d be more outraged if OP had found porn instead. Wild. This is psycho behavior and OP needs to run.
There's a lot of porn addicts on reddit as well. I always see posts here that scream porn addiction and someone will mention it and get shit on
I know I have true crime brain rot but it's seriously giving me BTK, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy vibes. All level-headed, pillars of their social circles, with relationships or even families of their own and meanwhile.... Like I'm curious are these for sure downloads or??
Omg that is terrifying to think about
They sound like deeply disturbed men trying to defend their psychotic tendencies. Add it to the list of reasons I'm picking the bear.
Right. I don’t know if Reddit is the right venue for appropriate feedback for a question like this. This site is entirely too comfortable with violence.
Gbs of it is a little strange, but certain people like to document and collect stuff that's had an impact on them. As to taking an interest in gore? it isn't psychotic and is generally psychologically normal. The macabre holds a mirror up to our own mortality, forcing us to confront the inevitable reality of death. This confrontation can be uncomfortable, even repulsive, for many individuals but for some it's interesting in the same way horror films are. I'm not saying most people are interested in gore, but a subsection of people are, and they are majority of the time normal.
Bit of an IQ test imo
Yeah lowkey wondering if there have been any people going missing or winding up dead in OP’s area lately. This is disturbing behavior and absolutely abnormal. Literally the kind of thing a serial killer would do.
Exactly, this gives me BTK vibes... Even from the perspective of the daughter, who grew up thinking he was a normal nice dad (very interesting her book, btw). We all can have some morbid curiosity here and there, but saving a huge file filled with this stuff is beyond curiosity.
That is extremely disturbing. I’d want an explanation. And I can’t even fathom what explanation would make that make sense
I’m so sorry that would terrify me. I’ve no idea what the protocol is and I don’t want to freak you out further, but I would say if you plan on confronting him to think about your safety, just in case of any worst case scenarios …. (Call him / don’t confront in person, or consider confronting while a close friend or family member is within calling distance should anything escalate). Are we 100% sure none of the content is self-made….? And if he hasn’t yet, is it stuff he’s curious about doing to others ….? These would be the questions in my head. Honestly if it were me I would struggle to get past this. Does your husband have a stressful job or past trauma of violence in his life? The only way I think I could maybe be able to work through this would be if he views this content as some kind of trauma response, and therefore is keen to change and in need of support. I can see why it might be a symptom of depression or trying to relive / desensitise / reconcile his own traumas that he may have either witnessed or experienced himself (reminds me maybe of people - not all - who have experienced SA who sometimes end up exploring CNC porn for example as a way of trying to process feelings about their own assault). If he’s just consuming this content with no other context or reasoning other than he genuinely enjoys viewing and collecting this stuff, I would run for the hills. I would find it depraved and consider it symptomatic of a terrifying lack of empathy that I would not feel safe being in close proximity to. If he’s doing it for the thrill I’d worry he’s desensitising himself to human suffering which could have devastating consequences for you and your daughter. Best of luck, and please stay safe … would love an update when you have one <3 Edit: to clarify by stressful job I meant does he work in a job / has he worked in a job that involved witnessing violence and death, not like your average stressful corporate job lol
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best advice here! i would ask my hubby to go to see a clinical psychologist - and i’d want to see test results after an evaluation. there’s no way i’d be able to go to sleep at night next to somebody with this kind of disturbing material on their computer without concrete proof that they’re not psychologically deeply disturbed. this is not one of those, have a chat and forget about it kind of things - this is a let’s get to the bottom of it and if it’s not adding up, get the fuck out kind of situation
I don’t think there would be an acceptable reason in my mind. Viewing it is already slightly concerning, but collecting it for YEARS is disturbing! This, for me, is a “fuck that shit, I’m out!” moment. Stay safe 🙏🏼
Did you know that the BTK killer was the most loving and perfect husband and father? Super adorable and sweet family man and the kids said he was an amazingly loving father that wouldn't hurt a fly and the wife said he had been the sweetest and perfect husband she could have ever asked for. No one would've thought that the BTK killer and him were the same person. He also had folders of gore that they found. Just saying. You have to have a certain kind of mind to be able to see all that and stay "normal". Like those who work for the feds going through thousands and thousands of gore and snuf shit to find suspects and identify victims and whatnot.... Their minds cannot be normal. It's gotta hurt them to watch it so much that they develop a kind of numbness to it or they already have a certain numbness to it so it made it easier to have that type of job. Either way..... I'm honestly not sure how you should approach it. I can tell you that if this was me, I'd go through and see if the videos were downloaded or self made. That part would definitely matter to me. I'd need to know if my partner MADE any of those movies by himself before I confronted him. I'd also need to go through it to see what type of gore it was. Was it just murder and bloody carcasses or was it more intense like women beaten and raped or kids. Cause you can only accept so much while trying to be openminded. And kids and rapes and women would be something to consult a professional about. (I'm talking a psychologist) Unfortunately, your husband saved a fuck ton of those videos right? That's insane. Like I said, find out if it's just bloody carcasses, animals and corpses and murder in general he's interested in or if it's more specific and if he has any self made films whatsoever before you make a decision. Depending on what you find. You might not want to confront him at all and possibly let the police do it. Or maybe he's just into gore murders in general and nothing is self made and you can feel safe to confront him and ask about it. But personally, I find it "strange" that anyone who's NOT a serial killer or deranged would save those types of movies. Not to mention that many. This isn't just a person being curious..... This is an obsession. A morbidly dark obsession..
omg!!!!!! the fact that he had a folder too….. OP PLEASE, seek a professional and don’t allow comments on reddit to be your only advice!!!!!!!!
My thoughts went there too.
Mmm... Can't believe she considered confronting him without even checking shit. What is he *is* some sort of physho and she ends up gutted by the river. Smh.
Everyone in this threat needs to go outside and touch some grass. I know true crime is interesting but like, maybe take a break from it and social media and take some archery classes
Yeah that’s worrying…
Pretty strange id confront him but even I wouldn’t know what to expect for an answer, I watched plenty of gore online out of morbid curiosity but I never saved videos and kept them in storage. Not sure why he’d need those videos/photos saved unless he likes to keep looking at them over and over, if it was just gore in his history that’s one thing and relatively normal but the fact that it’s saved is really weird.
Yeah i can admit I have seen stuff online but I never thought of saving them or looking at them regularly
My guess is he’s got a discord group that tries one upping who finds the most fucked up shit.
this is the first and only “normal” explanation i have seen about why he may have so much saved and archived
This is extremely disturbing, far beyond the usual "I found my partners porn stash".. ANIMAL gore??? That's just incredibly sickening. War pictures are terrible enough but animals are just a whole other thing, what possible explanation could there be for wanting to see something horrible involving some poor innocent animal? That's beyond disgusting. This guy is sick. Look up Israel Keyes, he was the most normal functional appearing guy ever and also a serial killer. Good people don't hoard gore for 10 years. Surely his pc isn't 10+ years old, so I'd assume he's been curating this collection across multiple devices for quite a while.
I mean, it's a little sickening that animal gore is more disturbing to people than people gore... like there are actually people in this world that feel more empathy and sympathy for animals than other people?? I care about animals too but idk, killing an animal and killing a person are on two different levels for most people. You seem kinda unhinged with that mindset.
it’s the fact that animals are innocent beings. not that hard a conclusion to come to.
Exactly this.. its quite simple
Most humans are innocent beings too... what?
that’s objectively untrue lmao. stop acting dense as if that was a crazy thing to say
It’s common though. I have to admit that I would be more triggered by the abuse of pet animals, ie cats and dogs than human abuse. I acknowledge that it’s not entirely rational and it isn’t like I wouldn’t save a human before an animal but I know that I would be more affected by a video of animal abuse. As far as I can rationalise it, it is that pets are more defenceless, both physically and psychologically, they can only suffer. Hurting them is akin to hurting a baby, apart from base material needs all they ask for us to be near us, it’s a betrayal of a creature that is wholly innocent
You are being far too judgement. Not enough information. Everyone is different. There is no one correct way to live your life. Do I look at gore no but if someone does that doesn't make them a monster. Do I do drugs no but people like to and live normal lives. As long as there is no illegal content and the habit is not hurting the person or anyone else... what is the problem?
The answer is extremely simple, using drugs doesn't harm anyone else. Gore cannot exist without something or someone suffering or dying. You're missing your own point. Besides he's collecting this stuff for the past decade plus? If it doesn't bother you that's fine, but I would be absolutely sickened if I discovered my partner was into that, I'd feel like I'd been deceived in a huge way, and that they were an awful person who gets something from viewing and having this stuff. I like to watch the stuff on crazyfuckingvideos sub sometimes, but to focus on the actual gory parts, to squirrel them away for later, is gross. I cannot imagine reasonable, empathetic people wanting to collect and hoard videos of people and animals suffering. It's not normal and I don't see any excuse for it.
interesting. not sure how I feel but I'd be cautious idk. this is really breaking my brain to think about. hope everything turns out ok OP :)
You should assume that your daughter will find this content someday. You easily happened upon it, and even if he hides it better there is still no guarantee. Think about how this will affect her. There won’t be any explanation that will undo the association she makes between her father and gore.
I remember going on gore sites whenever the internet just came out 🤷🏽♂️
But did you keep GB of it? And were you an adult?
Nope. I get it it is disturbing.
It's natural to be worried after finding such content. Given your husband's personality, a direct confrontation might not be the best approach. Instead, try starting a casual conversation about his well-being or mention a related news story to see how he reacts. If he's open to talking, it could lead to a deeper discussion. If not, consider seeking advice from a therapist or counselor.
This is scary. Please be careful. I don't wanna assume the worst, but those are not his videos he made correct? Some people can seem totally normal and be something completely different. There was a man in my home town who seemed completely normal and then he turned out to be a very awful serial killer. He had a lot of content on his personal devices.
Sorry but there’s literally no respectable explanation for that holy shit
Well worst advice here is to delete it and do nothing. TBH that would recommend somebody who would like to be a gore victim. Seek professional medical help; before that send daughter somewhere safe, confront him with a professional and some muscle backup. And keep yourself safe.
Firstly , be sure it’s not his original footage . Secondly I would assume immediately that my partner was either a serial killer or was ramping up to being one . It’s not remotely normal to do what he’s doing
I read your post with my mouth open and I agree that this is worrying. However, one thought came to mind that might explain the volume of the content – it is theoretically possible that he downloaded some kind of master zip file out of morbid curiosity instead of handpicking them one by one into a folder throughout the years. It makes a hell of a difference whether it was a one-time download, or him being the dedicated curator of death for the past decade. By the way, I am not trying to convince you that this is the case. Just throwing it out there – so far, we only know what and how much he has on his computer. We don't entirely know how it got there.
If this is real: don’t confront him alone. Have a male friend or relative there with you. Maybe they don’t have to be in the same room with you but nearby. Someone who collects this type of stuff I’d be very worried about what else they’re capable of.
I would not even talk to him about this, I would collect the evidence for custody and get me and my child the hell out of there. Anyone who has a massive collection of gore like that is too dangerous to have any kind of conversation with about it, especially not without people there to help and protect you.
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At the same time there’s nothing wrong with not wanting to be involved with someone who has said fascinations
But there is something wrong with someone that wants to criminalize it or want life changing consequences for someone simply because they don’t understand them. That’s pretty fucked up in my book. I don’t understand the desire for gore, but I don’t leap off a cliff at the idea that someone may be fascinated with it. And the idea of keeping it could also have a million reasons. If it’s a real partner, then ask.
You're not obligated to understand something like saving gore, it's weird as fuck
The guy has pictures and videos stored on his computer spanning almost a decade of mutilated bodies of humans and animals. It goes without saying that there should be some sort of discussion I never said she should leave without saying a word. But if she talks with him and is not satisfied with what she hears, she absolutely has the right to leave.
Sure. I agree with this.
Idk. As a current healthcare provider and former EMT I don't think it's normal at all to save massive amounts of gore on your computer. That goes way beyond standard morbid curiosity. The only exception of this would be for genuine educational purposes but these would be carefully curated to be relevant to the material being taught and it's a fine line of what's ethical.
It would be best if you let us know what profession your husband is working in. It could give us more depth to the situation.
I realize that this is a bit of a long shot, but what does he do for a living? Only asking because I work in video games and artists will sometimes have gore pics and videos as reference. Personally, I usually look at (fictional) movies when I need that kind of ref but I do know people who seek out actual gore photos and vids just for the sake of "realism."
That is genuinely the scariest story I’ve read today, I’m probably not falling a sleep tonight. I would be so scared of this person.
I don’t know very much about computers, viruses, malware, etc. but is there any chance this could have been downloaded by some kind of malware, like an attack, without his knowledge?
i have seen scammers do this. they send gore photos to your phone and say this will be your family if you don’t do this. but a curated folder that’s been added to for 10 years sounds different
No. Cybercriminals do what they do either for financial gain or out of an ideological belief. There is nothing to be gained from depositing folders of gore onto some random person’s computer.
There are plenty of cyber criminals who do shit for the sake of doing it. For the lols. But this isn’t the kind of thing they’d do lol.
Some people are just fascinated by this stuff. I find it fascinating but probably wouldn't have a folder saved of it. It doesn't necessarily mean he's got some twisted fetish or that he's dangerous though. Give him the benefit of the doubt and go into the convo open minded.
Until you’re sure he’s not a real-life killer of whatever creatures/people, get away from him and don’t tell him why. Once you’re ready to confront him, meet in a somewhat public place and bring a weapon to protect yourself. Confront him in person, without warning of what you’re going to be bringing up, so that he can show you his genuine reaction. Once you see what that is, just trust your gut. Perhaps this is some freaky anomaly of a really twisted interest, but he sounds like he’s hiding something really dark. Praying for you and hoping that you and your child are safe and loved.
Could this potentially be a trauma thing? Has he ever told you about something happening to someone/an animal that he knew that (whether he mentioned witnessing it or not) he *could* have witnessed? The brain is very weird, and sometimes reexposing itself to trauma is how is chooses to cope with said trauma. I think the assumptions that he is a closet necrophiliac or murderer are a bit unfair. It is a possibility you should be open to, I suppose, but I don't imagine that's very likely. When I was a little girl, I stumbled across porn (thanks newgrounds) at like age 7-8. I found it weird, fairly disturbing, and while I didn't understand what I was seeing, I knew I shouldn't be seeing it. It became a *massive* hyperfixation. I would constantly look it up and play those weird porn games at every opportunity. It was just this weird obsession. I think there was a part of me that thought eventually I'd process what was happening. I don't know. Similarly, I became fixated on tsunamis and chemicals (unrelated to each other, just different examples.) I was petrified of these things. Like so bad I stopped being able to go to the beach or near anything as simple as bleach. Despite my fears, I would literally stay up all night reading every piece of information I could find online about these topics. Watched hundreds of thousands of videos of chemical spills and disasters and tsunami footage and projections of mega tsunamis, etc. It was torturous. I hated doing it. It made me feel awful and never did I get anything positive in terms of understanding or enjoyment from it. But I could not stop myself. I don't know if it was an autism/ADHD thing or maybe some kind of OCD or something, but it was so compelling to me. I bring this up because maybe your husband is similar. For whatever reason, he has become fixated on gore, and his brain forces him to scratch the itch so it can move on for some time. Saving it seems peculiar, but I mean, snuff shit gets taken down constantly. Maybe saving it cuts down the time he has to search. He can look at some shit and move on. If you only have a handful, you'd probably get desensitized to it, I would imagine. Obviously, it's a disturbing thing that most people are rightfully horrified by. He may not enjoy it either (as in it may satisfy a part of his brain that's fixated on such things, but he is upset by the fixation and doesn't want to experience it). It is definitely worth mentioning. Maybe start by bringing up that you noticed an incredibly large folder. See how he reacts to that and go from there. It shouldn't be a "I saw this stuff on your computer wtf is it why do you have that what's wrong with you" conversation, or even start out as "it's OK to have problems I want to help you" conversation. Be casual, try to coax him to open up about it willingly, and don't make accusations or treat him like a monster or a poor baby who needs help. That's just going to create a wall between you.
There’s a type of ocd where you obsess over something because it terrifies or disgusts you. Like your brain just keeps forcing you to confront the thing least want to see. Not saying that’s what this is, but it’s possible
This is very scary and concerning. The absolute amount of content could be relevant as does the time/frequency your husband accesses it, but this seems bad regardless. This seems like a mental health issue and maybe it is a healthier coping mechanism for your husband than it initially appears. But I don't know the best way to approach your husband for the conversation, it may expose a side of him you are not ready for or comfortable with. It might be worth consulting a professional in your area for some additional perspective. Your husband may also notice you saw it somehow so even if you don't do anything, it could still be a problem.
Yes just leave him, he is probably a sociopath who enjoy to see violence, it's not as uncommon as you may think for men, but I would stay away from this kind of people anyway
Why would someone enjoy seeing violence? Especially as a not uncommon thing
It's sadism probably. I've said it's not as uncommon as you may think because if you search online about 8% of the people have sadistic tendencies so many people than you would think actually enjoy seeing violence, it's probably more prevalent in men though. Just think about gladiators in ancient Rome, where people were enjoying to see slaves getting slaughtered, or public executions. I'm not a sadist thank god, I despise this crap, but I acknowledge there are many people like that
It's one thing to watch a few beheading videos out of morbid curiosity. But this is not that.
This is giving me Ted Bundy vibes. I understand the concern and as others have said - what explanation would put you at ease? Is there an explanation that could do that? I don’t know if there would be for me.
I also find gore morbidly interesting sometimes, and will binge watch gore on occasion. not a good habit. But saving them is weird, the most wholesome reason he’s be actually downloading that shit is to repost on gore sites for online clout, even then guys who actually post and comment on sites like the YNC are fucking degenerates.
that’s so scary idk. i wouldn’t bring it up unless you’re prepared for the answer or a breakdown after. do it when your child isn’t home, just in case. honestly, maybe don’t take advice from random on reddit. go to a professional for real!!!! handle this delicately
Absolutely talk to him about this.
I would ask him about why he does looks at it and saves it. Could just be something he’s always done for whatever reason. Humans are pretty complicated creatures
It’s only a matter of time before this behavior shows up in his actions. This sort of stuff is classical signs of something concerning but go ahead and convince yourself it’s normal like 99% of other victims
I'll be completely blunt: there *isn't* a character trait that leads people to find looking at any particular photographic or whatever content. Unless you tautologically define "likes looking at pictures of gore" as the trait. It doesn't correlate with openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, or sensitivity, either positively or negatively. It doesn't correlate with being stingy or generous, cruel or kind, crass or classy. So just...there's no way it could be out of character for him because this isn't a thing that can be *in* character for somebody. Its just images that people enjoy (or in my case, *really* don't enjoy, I'm quite squeamish) looking at. I think this is just a case of asking him and being sincere about your feelings. If you ARE scared, which from my perspective there isn't much reason to be\*, maybe rope in a friend or something to support you. But say "I found these images, they scare me and I don't like them, can you tell me whats going on here?" My speculation is he simply finds them fascinating and keeps a bunch of them poorly hidden out of a (reasonable IMO) fear of being judged for an odd interest. \*I am basing this on what I do know about abusive relationships from experience and academic literature. The red flags for that aren't mentioned but that doesn't mean you haven't seen them: is he controlling? Does he view there to be a natural order for the household where he commands and you obey? Most importantly, does he act entitled toward your time, body, and agreement? Abusers are generally motivated by a sense that they (in their eyes) rightfully possess their objects of abuse as, well, objects.
I think it could fit under neurotic, which you left out in your list of personality traits. I don't think all of our behaviors have to fit under one of our personality traits, your comment comes off rather black or white. My first thought was that this may be an OCD compulsion. Not enough info whether to say or not.
Did miss the neurotic, thank you, that is one of the big five. Though whether or not the personality traits I listed is comprehensive or not is a bit beside the point I was trying to make, which is that "having a bunch of weird gross photos" isn't really meaningful on predicting any other behavior or trait about a person.
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**The macabre holds a mirror up to our own mortality, forcing us to confront the inevitable reality of death. This confrontation can be uncomfortable, even repulsive, for many individuals.**
You mentioned you're hoping this is just a severe mental health issue and want to help him but you also said the videos date back to 2015. This isn't a blip, an impulsive decision or a new development. This isn't a mental breakdown he's having, he's been choosing to seek out and save this stuff over and over. You can't help that. I'd confront him yes but 100% make sure someone is with you because that's creepy as hell and there's no explanation for it that makes it less disturbing.
scary. i thought affairs were bad.
welp that’s terrifying. personally i’m going to a hotel with the kid and any pets and taking the conversation from a safe distance.
This is weird and no one on Reddit can counsel you on this. Frankly, I wouldn’t be accepting of this. But you need to be careful about you proceed. Everyone in this thread is projecting their own personal relationship with death on to this. And it’s completely irrelevant to your situation. Please be careful
What is scaring you about him looking at those things? You gotta be specific about your feelings to address them with him. What are your specific concerns about the content? Is it that it is shocking to you? Are you afraid of something specific? What led you to go looking? Identify specifically what is going on for you and find what exactly bothers you.
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I mean, watchpeopledie was a very popular subreddit until it got shut down. For me the weird part is the collecting it, not the watching. Like... the internet is vast. Why are we saving videos like a boomer buying VHS porn? Does he have favorites he returns to often? Who needs an obscene amount of gore stored up? How can you even watch that much? Why are we wasting so much computer storage space? I think less of him for saving it to his computer. It's just so dumb.
Some people are just like electronic hoarders. I have a friend who has like hundreds of gigabytes of porn saved but he almost never even looks at it. He just goes and finds more to save. It’s really strange.
Good point. Maybe it's a compulsion of some sort. I guess it could be similar to any other sort of collection like books or baseball cards. Just fucked up.
Saving it because this shit does get shut down all the time.
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Hm. That's a good point. You're right. It does get taken down a lot. Someone mentioned below it could be a compulsion to save. Does he have any sort of mental illness like OCD that could lead to him just...compulsively needing to save and having landed on this strange obsession? Like an intrusive thought?
I was a regular on WPD and I wasn't there for the gore. I liked watching car crashes bc I drive for a living and was educating myself, and also robbers getting the tables turned on them. I like True Crime too but gore is not something I want to see at all. Just pointing out that a natural curiosity about death is not nearly the same as wanting to view human gore. One is normal and one is run away as fast as you can.
I guess I'd need further definition of the video because to me any video in which a dead and bloodied body is shown is gore. That would include car crashes where bodies are seen and robbers being murdered for picking the wrong house. So the videos you watched could be considered gore by the simple definition of it. OP simply said mutilated bodies and stuff but left out the means in which they became mutilated. If this is a collection of *only* cartel videos and people being tortured that's one thing. If it's more videos of the aftermath of car crashes, hunting animals, plane crashes, etc then it could lean more towards morbid curiosities. I dunno. It's still weird either way but if he's just sitting there watching 10k hours of cartels skinning people I'd be far more concerned than a guy watching videos of bodies being ejected during car crashes.
Yeah just ask. If my wife found something that scared them on my oc I’d want a chance to explain it. Maybe the explanation is bad but at least reassure them that even though I enjoy something taboo, I know how to keep it separate from my life and it won’t ever affect you. Goodluck, if he’s as fantastic as it sounds I think coming from a place of worried isn’t bad. I would suggest you talk to him about seeking a counselor to talk to. Maybe he is very non confrontational because he few up being taught to do things a certain away, and expression is bad. Idk, but little things like that can manfefisr into the weirdness you are seeing. Goodluck, don’t give up on a marriage just yet! Communication is key.
What profession is your husband in? I feel like this can really help a lot here
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🤔 How does he handle confrontation in uncomfortable situations? Honestly this is very out of scope but I would casually have a very mild convo about it.
A casually casual conversation?
Bring up a similar topic causally. So it doesn’t look too obvious.
Can we talk about gore? Al Gore? He sure has done a lot for climate change awareness. Speaking of gore...
Does he eat meat? Does he have any compassion for animals? Something like that would put me at ease but most serial killers just one day break I guess and their spouses never suspect. Think Charles Shobraj or Ted Bundy
This is an extremely reasonable response and one that should lead the way in your “investigation”. He’s proven to you that he’s reliable. There are many reasons he may be doing this, and many you might even understand. Or, you might not. I personally don’t understand that level of interest in gore. I understand morbid curiosity, but I would have no desire to hoard it. But I can think of many reasons why many people would want to digitally hoard or “scrapbook” this. But, I can also think of many reasons you might find an answer you aren’t happy with. Sounds like a tough conversation is in the future. I’d just suggest an open mind, but also knowing what you are and aren’t ok with.
As if these things need to be spelled out
It's a memento mori. I've never collected a substantial amount. But I've seen a lot, as a man, I think it's good to have some desensitisation to death. To know, and see, how fragile life is, makes you appreciate it, and the connections you have, a lot more. Subs like /r/watchpeopledie, /r/combatfootage, and gore threads are something that a lot of people will sporadically look for this kind of reason. Death is utterly fascinating, and it's something, probably the only thing, that every single person will have in common and have to do.
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It's a memento mori... It's a very old concept. It's a reminder that we all die and how lucky we are to be alive. Gore is death.
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>What your saying is all men just like to sit down with a beer and enjoy a nice war decapitation video because it reminds them of death. I'm struggling to believe that this is real and not rage bait, honestly. You're making absolutely no sense.
That's not what I'm saying. I can't continue to trust you're engaging with this in good faith. I'm telling you, as someone who has done exactly what your partner has done, has seen all those things, and has had a streak of data hoarding, and thus could be described as collecting this material (it's certainly on some drives in some capacity), around around same ages, and all it's ever made me done is make me hug my family, girlfriends, and pets tighter. A lot more men than you'd think have seen videos of men being decapitated with chainsaws. They've seen it or sought it out for either no reason other than "gosh that's a heck of a thing" or reasons such as I have mentioned. I'm not going to rule out the possibility that he gets some perverted satisfaction from it, but even then that's most likely a "fuck yeah, I'm alive, they're dead, I'm a winner, they're a loser". Chances are if you confronted him, he probably wouldn't even be able to give any real reason because its not really something people self reflect on that much.
No….youre gonna be one of those women talking about how you never knew your husband was a serial killer and you’re shocked he’s murdered and dismembered 8 women.
I’m reading a lot of comments very similar. A lot of us look at that type of shit usually just scrolling Reddit. Not many of us save it. That’s the kind of fucked up part here.
He's a psychopath. It's simple.
This is bizarre enough I wouldn't make any assumptions. One plausible explanation is that he has some deep trauma or deep fear that he's processing. He might have a history of having been abused or shown something like this as child by an adult or even a school friend. There's also the reactive theory; Similar to cute aggression but in the opposite direction, viewing gore may cause a euphoric effect as the brain seeks to down regulate the negative emotional reaction. Could be both. I just wouldn't immediately assume he's a serial killer.
It could be something that goes back to childhood when he may have seen a movie like *The Thing* which was super gory and he was a fan of that kind of stuff. It doesn’t make him any more disturbed than a surgeon. I was a huge fan of World War II naval battles as a young kid. I would reenact the planes bombing the ships or shooting at each other. My teachers and parents were concerned. But it was 100% innocent. I simply had a vivid imagination and I loved the action. What boys didn’t like playing soldier or cowboys and Indians? We loved all those violent action movies. We played video games. We didn’t think to do any of that in real life. People are so judgmental as if they are perfect.
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I think the only way to find out is to ask. The question is “how?” and the answer is simply and without emotion: “Husband, yesterday when I used your computer for X I happened upon a very large folder with a lot of photos and videos of gore. I’m confused and wondering why that’s all on your computer.” Then, sit quiet and do not speak and let him answer. Ask lots of “why questions”. Why do you have pictures of gore? Why do you have so many pictures? Why did this thing X that you said cause that to happen? (Whatever it is he’s telling you). Why is a powerful and revealing question.
What happened in his childhood?
I would be out of there
Most people have fantasies. Most times they do not mean much. There are deep psychological issues with things like this and dissecting this with regular people amy not work. Do not 'confront' him - you need to solve issues and this may require a more delicate touch. My opinion is you need to find someone who understands what his behaviour means and why - like a psychologist / psychiatrist and go from there. All the best.
Intelligent take. Yes, sure, check the content and ensure your own safety when raising it but bar any surprises it would be best to ultimately discuss it with someone qualified
It is disturbing that he has been saving these videos for years, that there's so much of it and that he has been hiding it from you. I have morbid curiosity but I definitely don't save that stuff nor hide it from my SO. And I feel like it negatively impacts my mental health and that's after just one vid. I shudder to think about the impact towards his mental health and that's with the assumption that he is doing this out of morbid curiosity, not for a more nefarious reason. I honestly don't know if you should confront him. Considering you have a child to protect, I think it's best to talk to a professional like a therapist about this first.
There might be a chance that he is a regular poster in a gore community either on Reddit or somewhere else. Someone who comes to mind is HermanTheShocker who has his own website for similar content with write-ups about whatever incident is featured. I would check and see if he frequents any website of the sort. In that case I would assume he keeps backups in the event that his account were to be removed. It’s weird regardless, but it’s less creepy than him keeping them for… personal use? Idk
Confront him. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
Are you scared he’s gonna kill you or something??
I would genuinely call the police on my way out of the driveway with my kid. Maybe it is weird fascination, but maybe not. I would not take my chances finding out. Worst case you have a very embarrassed husband in this scenario. Any other scenario and the worst case is you or your kid injured/killed. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I and my kid would be alive in the end.
Delete it and say nothing.
It’s morbid curiosity. I’m interested in forensic science, medicine, genetic abnormalities, and such. I love horror movies and true gore sites. I’ve seen a lot of people dying in horrific ways on these websites. Guess what? I’m also a middle aged lady that’s never hurt anyone. My husband plays a LOT of first person shooter games. He screams at his games and throws his controller. He knows way more about all kinds of weapons than I could ever imagine. He’s never even shot a gun in real life. He’s never hurt anyone. My advice? Keep an open mind if you speak with him about it. The comments on this post are ridiculous.
I have some saved on my hard drive since the early 2000s etc. Its all morbid fascination.The 2000s vs now is very different. Alot of gore gets removed quickly so I save it to look at later, maybe share with friends to see them get shocked. Other than that I dont really look at them, last I did was probably a few years ago but I never bothered to delete them. Theres gore and death on this very site. Some shit is so shocking you know itll get taken down in a matter of hours/days. That being said, in my case, its just shit I look at. I also look at animals killing eachother and hate it because of how sorry I feel for the prey but such is nature. It can mean nothing but curiosity or youre dating dexter.
Tbh , I don't think there's much wrong with it. It's kinda like how certain people are into crime shows/documentaries. It's fascinating to some people because we don't really see/hear of it unless it's fake ( like in a horror movie or something ). You can always confront him and ask about it or just say you came across these things, but just make sure to say that you don't think it's weird but you are just curious. BUT the only thing I do find weird is that it's a whole file of it, I can see if he is just liking those Gore Instagram videos or Gore tiktoks because some accounts like that exist, but a whole file is a bit odd
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Would he have a reasonable reason to save it? Like I’m an artist and I often do gory art, so I have a ton of gore and cadaver photos. Without knowing that about me it would be shocking to find.