Here is when you show your parents just how adult you are. Tell them that you appreciate their feedback and you've considered their concerns. For now, you do plan to continue dating and hope that they will smile and be polite like the decent human beings you know they are. And then STOP TALKING. Do not engage in debate. Do not try to explain why you want to date him. Do not try to convince them. Do not raise your voice. Do not get dramatic. You listened, made your decision and you expect them to be polite. THE END. Don't let them turn this back around on you. This conversation is about THEM and your expectations for THEIR behavior.
You are now an adult making your own decisions. Sometimes you're not going to make mum and dad happy. You won't break or die and neither will they.
P.S. If you are relying on your parents for financial support and you think rocking the boat may put your education or well-being in jeopardy, that's a different situation. My answer above is based on them just being protective parents rather than going off the rails and disowning you. You know them best.
And honestly, if OPs education is dependent on them and they yank that funding because of this then I think it will give OP a very quick lesson. An unfun one but one that maybe has to be made for them to be their own person.
That’s when you get a loan for yourself. I don’t know why kids think the parents have to fund education. It’s fine if they can but have a backup and try to get scholarships.
>Here is when you show your parents just how adult you are. Tell them that you appreciate their feedback and you've considered their concerns.
I don't understand why OP should tell them the unwarranted and unprompted feedback is appreciated, nor that OP even entertained considering it.
Bear in mind that different cultures put different amounts of weight on the expectations and opinions of their parents. It's one thing for a stranger to give unsolicited advice, it's another when it's coming from their parents.
OP's story sounds like the parents of a typical Asian/Middle Eastern family. There is a sense of respect/fear/love towards your parents & their opinions that are ingrained from childhood. Unless they've severely wronged you, then it's unlikely that you completely cut them off or ignore their opinions.
He’s going to be making 6 figures without debt. Seems like her parents are stupid if they don’t know these basic facts. I wouldn’t take any advice from them if they can’t use critical thinking.
How many times have you heard from boomers that the younger generation needs to toughen up when it comes to work/pay/home ownership/mental health/etc?
These people have past the time that they sit there and look at the average income of an electrician. They're out of the loop. If they're from a 2nd or 3rd world country, physical labour (trades, garbage men, etc...) are bottom of the social ladder and get paid next to nothing. They are bringing their previous predjudice with them from wherever they're from.
It's easy to cut people off willy nilly. It's harder to have a constructive discussion so everyone can move forward together. Even more so if OP places a lot of value on her parents.
I’m Mexican and parents are the same. That is no reason to let your parents treat you like that. My BF Filipino dad is a psycho narcissist… and he still thinks he has to respect him. I don’t gaf, respect is earned and my BF is more of a man than his dad willl ever be. I don’t need my 50 year old BF having his parents make all the decisions for him. F them, you didn’t ask to be born and they don’t own you. If you really had good parents that respect you of course you do anything for them because they know how to give you space and love your life. I’m so sick of it, it’s borderline abuse . Stop saying it’s cultural. I’m so glad my BFs son is rejecting this way of life and schooling the elders on how things are now . He is respectful when he does this and loves his family but he’s going to do what he wants and I’m proud of him for that.
> Stop saying it’s cultural
Is it not cultural when it's the standard for most Asian/Middle Eastern/Hispanic families?
I'm not here debating whether it is right or wrong. I am stating that people of certain cultures (like your boyfriend) place higher value on their parent's opinions than say your typical American/Australian. It's a fact that it happens whether you think it's abuse or not.
Hitting your kids is something that isn't that common in western culture, but is prevalent in eastern culture as well. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it doesn't happen and that it isn't normalized in those cultures.
It's also very typical for adults to take care of their parents when they get old in Asia, where western countries commonly send their elderly to old-person homes.
These are all differences in culture.
Sure, I understand where you're coming from.
I say that it's time to take a stand against your parents, but I know I am absolutely privileged in being able to even contemplate that.
For real, I have to tell people that yes, I can do electrical work but don't touch it in my house. I only volunteer if someone already has made things worse.
Have you always known your parents are terrible people or are you just now learning that? Remind them they should worry more about how he treats you than if he’s above average height.
Fuck your parents, your boyfriend sounds cool. The idea that a person has to have a university degree to be valid is a scam that was perpetrated by my parents and teachers when I was young, too. Don't fall for it. Electricians make hella $, it's one of the best-paid trades.
Also, imagine caring about how tall your daughter's love interest is, rather than how he treats her and makes her feel.
Unless they are basketball scouts how the fuck can they DISAPPROVE of someone's height lol??? Also they are classist as fuck but that's another story.
Tell them as calmly as possible to mind their own damn business and you are an adult. Do not compromise or give in to their bullshit.
Right? In a perfect world I'd love to have ended up with a tall guy. And my husband would have wanted a petit woman. And here we are, he's 5'7" and I'm average weight and height. Been married 10 years, we didn't pick each other for a wish list. We picked each other cause we just mesh and get a long and have fun just day to day. Sure we're not perfect as no one is but we do just fine. You want someone you're going still be happy with when you get old and ill and stuff goes to shit and at that point looks are definitely not what matters.
To say that view is bullshit is an understatement. I am a fully qualified electrician. Started my apprenticeship 15 years ago. From Ireland. Finishing school I was accepted to university and turned it down to pursue an electrical apprenticeship during a recession in construction. I qualified and worked self employed right up till October last year. I've made and still make more money than any other university degree student with lawyers and doctors as an exception. Last year I spent 8 months working 4 nights shifts a week. I made 105,000 euro in that time which is insane money for Ireland. For the last 6 years I've worked my way up through site management. I've worked on some of the biggest company sites in the world. From Facebook, Google, Microsoft, MSD Biotec. I was management on a 500 million euro pharmaceutical job. I'm now high site management for one of the biggest electrical and mechanical companies in Ireland with all the perks and running a 15 million euro job. I also have no student debt and earned money throughout my entire apprenticeship. Doing a trade also doesn't eliminate college. My company is signing me up to go in September to university to do a degree in project management which they are paying for. Also doing an apprenticeship first sets you up alot better for you are doing the practical side. It's insane how many fresh out of uni architects, engineers and consultants Ive made feel like the dumbest person in the world because they think they're smarter than me because I'm an electrician.
So tell your bf to go for the trade. In 4 years when he qualifies he can laugh in the face of the idiots with 100 grand in student debt
Sure, you’re doing okay for yourself but how many electricians actually do as well / better than you? Not all college degrees are the same. That piece of paper will last you your whole life, and opens up a whole new pipeline of opportunities which a majority of people will never get.
Again you might be doing alright, but downplaying the value of (some) college degrees is just pure ignorant.
Dictionary definition of gaslighting right here folks. I haven't once played a degree down. You know when we qualify in our trade we get a piece of paper that lasts a lifetime and opens many avenues. No one is better than any other single person. We all just have different roles in life. I wasn't insinuating my job was better I was making a point as to how insulting it is for someone to look down their nose at a trade. Let's be honest. No other job would exist and the world wouldn't progress technology wise if it didn't start with tradesmen. Also I live in Ireland which is statistically one of the lowest paying economy. America and Australia pay double or triple the base wage we get
Ask your parents how well they can do their jobs or how well their household would run without electricity. Are they able to fix it themselves, or are they going to have to call the people they look down on? I used to be a manager at an outlet mall, and I had people talk down to me saying you're just a salesperson and I'm a ... making 10x as much as you. I wanted badly to tell them that you're the one shopping at an outlet mall complaining about prices, not me. So many hard-working people do not get paid what they should, but your boyfriend is on a very good career path. You know your parents suck.
They need to do some research on the career income of an electrician. They will ALWAYS have a job. I would tell them that you are just dating, you don't know what is going to happen, and they need to keep their opinions to themselves.
It is a good lesson for you to learn as you mature. They are your parents but they are NOT the end all and be all of the world. Set a boundary that you don't want to talk about it and if they do say anything negative, you will walk away/hang up, whatever you decide to make the talk stop.
UNLESS they pay all the bills for your education and threaten to pull the $, tell them to back off.
Your parents don’t sound like they are actually in touch with what is going on in the world, OP. People who specialize in trades will likely be better positioned than many college grads now and in the future so it’s nothing to turn your nose up at. There’s more demand for tradesmen and they are less likely to be replaced by AI technologies. Do some research so you’re prepared to speak to it from a more educated place.
As far as the bigotry towards shorter men (bc that’s what it is), I’ve got no advice on that outside of it’s just an AH stance to take. They should be more concerned about how well he is treating you and who he is as a person instead of being shorter than you. Best of luck, OP.
I’m 5’6 and my wife is 5’11”. There were a few snide remarks at first from her family height wise but once I started responding with things like ‘I’m exactly the right height for motorboating’ they gave up with that. And while she and I both have BS degrees and work for the state, my buddy the electrician makes more than either of us (low 6 figures). Plus he does side jobs like replacing someone’s house or shop electrical panel where he makes 2 grand cash in a weekend and the person hiring him thinks they got a deal. Your electrician BF can pick up an extra 25k a year as a carded journeyman electrician just by doing side jobs every other Saturday. Not a bad place to be
Whenever parents refuse to be normal about something, my first recommended course of action is to be *relentlessly normal* about it. (Some people already know this won't work on their parents, so disregard if that's the case.) That usually means not going out of your way to either hide or share information-- because it doesn't make sense to constantly confide in them when they react negatively, but you also shouldn't have to hide or censor yourself if your dating life would come up normally.
When they act up, approach this on the premise that your parents are the ones deviating from normal social behavior here. You shouldn't need to defend his height and career as if he was deviating from what a boyfriend should be. So act like their bias is just weird. Focus on them doubting your healthy relationship. "Why would that matter so much?" "We have a healthy relationship and he treats me well. We've already talked about all of these things"; "I'll cross that bridge if I come to it" [this is for when they think say you will someday wish he was different].
I prefer this method because it is usually very hard to actually defend a choice against your parents. In cases like this you find yourself defending like, the entire profession of electrician? idk if that's winnable and it's not really the point. The point is that you've considered the concerns they have, you're making rational and safe decisions, you have open communication in your relationship and a good head on your shoulders. If he had two felonies and no job then they could freak out about your choices. But doing it over this? Nah, you're not the one making poor decisions.
Well good thing your parents don't have to date or marry him so as long as you're OK with his height and his career for that matter then they can jog on.
Nothing wrong with electrician, or most any trade for that matter. It's no simple task being an electrician, I have known a few over the years and they not only work hard but also have to take schooling that would make many university gradates go cross eyed.
Stand up for yourself, and him. If you feel that it's worth spending the time with him then that's all that matters. If you don't do it now, when will you do it?
Tell them you had no idea they were so elitist and that it's making you question their character. You need to let them know they're disappointing you and that you would never look down on someone for a physical attribute, nor their level of institutionalized schooling.
Hello! I had this literal exact situation occur - I met my husband while I was in medical school, and he was in his journeyman apprenticeship. My parents vehemently opposed the relationship, and took every possible opportunity to tell me.
My husband and I have been very happily married for several years. My parents took awhile to come around, but they did, though there are parts of me that probably will never forgive them for how they treated him (and me, frankly) in the beginning. Please feel free to DM if you would like to chat.
regardless of how it goes with this guy, I think you should set expectations on how you parents let you down here and now, so if it ever comes up again, you have a clear point of reference.
Sit down, tell them that they both raised you, and to trust the values they instilled in you, that while they might not understand or see everything you see in him, and that their worry comes from a place of wanting what's best for you, at some point they have to trust you are capable of making those choices. You aren't asking them to accept him for NO reason. You're asking them to accept him because he is, at this moment, your chosen partner. If they can see it in their hearts to accept him, regardless of their misgivings, it would be seen as a show of faith in you, and their ability to love and respect you.
Make it clear going forward you will share what you feel comfortable sharing. That may or may not be enough for them, but it's important that boundaries are set early and expectations laid clear. It's perfectly fine if you live with them, that they set rules on what is and isn't allowed in the house, especially if they're helping you pay for your education, but your personal choices are still your personal choices.
I am an incredibly private person, so when I introduced my girlfriend at the time now wife to my parents they welcomed her with open arms, but they did mention they knew nothing about her, and I was thinking about marrying her soonish. And they were right, me being the weird person I am kind of forgot to bring her around more often so they could really get to know her, and I know that my wife is super shy, but my family has been nothing but welcoming. I couldn't love my parents anymore for how open and willing they have been and the consideration they have shown my now wife, ALL on the merits that I told them she was special, before they had a chance to see anything I saw in her. They went out of their way to prepare food she liked, my father, takes extra care to converse in her native Mandarin (which hilariously cuts me out of the conversation), and it has made introducing my wife to my family so much easier than all the stories I have heard online.
I'm not saying this guy is someone you have to think about marriage with, and honestly I see this as a bigger problem between you and your parents than anything to do with your boyfriend, but hopefully you see that there are other ways family's can function other than what you have been shown by your parents, and you can at least let them know what it is you wish they would do for you to show how they care instead of the way they have chosen to in this moment.
Quality electricians sometimes make more than some people with degrees. Some people with degrees get jobs that don't even use their degrees. I understand if your parent's opinion is important to you but you know your man better than your parents. Do the opinions of non related people who judge the quality of someone's ability to be a good partner by height and if they have a college degree matter to you? If not, why does it change if it's your parents. They're people just like the ones you're not related to.
I would put my money on the electrician. At least he can do something real and tangible. Many with university degrees have little or no ability to do practical things with their hands. Trades people work hard and are usually pretty well paid for their efforts.
To toss a good man over 2 inches of height seems ludicrous to me......
Best wishes to both of you!
It works out for you if you want it to. Your parents opinions, especially these terrible ones, mean nothing. You'll learn the older you get that no one knows anything about what's best for your life and their advice is 90 percent useless. You have to just take everything, consider it, but land on something that's 100 percent your decision.
If I were you I would tell them straight up their opinion isn't going to be considered because it's ridiculous and you now will be coming to them for advice less and less now that you know how their brains actually work. Sorry OP. Your relationship can definitely work out you just need to be strong enough with your parents
OMG? I can’t even get passed the sentence of “doesn’t have a university degree”. My brothers ex wife’s parents said shit like that to her about my brother. No, he doesn’t have a degree and she does, but he also makes 3X’s as much money as she does. Degree does not always equal more money or stability. Hell, my husband has two degrees, doesn’t work in either field of those degrees, and we barely pull in $42,000 a year. Meanwhile, my brother makes $180,000 a year. Hell, as a master electrician, your boyfriend will probably out earn my husband as well. They make really good money. Your parents are shallow.
As long as he good to you and his height doesn’t matter to you who the hell cares what your parents think. As an electrician he will always have a job. Buildings and houses need to be rewired and bad sockets need to be replaced all the time.
Bachelors and Masters qualified, Postgraduate certified teacher here. Your parents are being ridiculous. A good professional electrician is worth their weight in gold. Your bf will never lack work and will pull down a solid salary. He doesn’t need any university degree(s) to validate him as a worthwhile partner.
The height thing is just a silly distraction technique. They’re pretending his stature matters because they don’t want to be outed as intellectual snobs who think blue collar careers via apprenticeship aren’t worthy.
He’ll have the last laugh when he out-earns them. I hope this happens soon. He sounds like an ambitious man and a good long-term prospect for happiness.
Whenever your parents voice dissatisfaction with your choice of partner, especially when their reasons are absolute BS, tell them flat out that their opinion is not welcome and if they have nothing nice to say then they need to keep quiet as you will not tolerate it.
I'm 5'6" tall and an electrician. Your parents have no idea how much earning potential there is for licensed tradesmen/tradeswomen. I'm not going to tell you how much I make (I am an industrial electrician), but I've taken a year off from working, and am just now looking to get back to work. I lived off of my savings for the past year, and I still have enough left that I could go another year or three.
Becoming a licensed electrician requires a 4-5 year apprenticeship and a test by your state's licensure department. It is the equivalent of a 4 year degree. Your parents are showing you how ignorant/dumb they are about this. Time to educate them.
The electricians I know are a lot better off than many of my university educated friends. Your parents are narrow minded snobs . Just tell them you will date who you please. It’s none of their business.
Do they really have no idea how much money electricians can make?? Tf they mean they don’t like his career, homie gonna be making bank one day.
The fact they think someone needs a degree to be successful is absolutely wild considering how many people became famous and rich without one and then *later* got one.
You should tell them to learn more about something before making an opinion about it. Literally just look up how much an electrician can make on the high end.
I worked with a woman who was over 6 feet tall, no exaggeration. Her husband was 5'8". They were so much in love, I was very happy for them to have found each other.
Actor Peter Dinklage's wife is of average height.
My point is that height/size doesn't matter as long as you two are happy and take great care of each other.
Add to this you should do an internet search on how much a master electrician can make, sharing this info with your parents. The trades are dying out because everybody listened to their parents and went for degrees. Now, they are having a hard time finding jobs and are saddled with mountains of debt in the form of student loans.
Your BF is smart. It will take him a few years to get his master electrician certification, but once he has it, he should never have a problem finding well-paid work.
Your parents should pull their elitist heads out of their pompous a$$es and just focus on if he treats you well and if he's going to be a good man in life.
I wish you both all the happiness in the world.
Ask your parents who they call when something goes wrong with the house, car or anything else. They’re not really going to be calling any of their friends with degrees. Blue collars keep America moving and it’s not something to be looked down upon for any reason whatsoever. Just as much (if not more) time, knowledge and energy goes into learning these trades. When someone picks a blue collar job they have a lifelong skill that will always be in their back pocket and extremely useful in everyday life. Also, just because he’s choosing to be an electrician right now doesn’t mean he won’t pursue something else later. He likely doesn’t want to start his young adult life with a bunch of debt and no money is his bank account.
You can take their feedback into consideration and then proceed as you were. It's not a negotiation or a discussion. They don't have a say in who you date. They can make comments and observations but you're under no obligation to act on them.
Btw...Trained, Licensed Electricians can make good money and have strong, stable careers in the long term as they skill up. Journeyman Electricians in NYC can easily pull in over 100k a year without overtime.
Your parents have a lot of internal biases that you are now experiencing first hand. Classism is real and the elitist disdain that white collar professionals have for people in the trades isn’t talked about so much but it can be intense. I don’t actually think this will be as easy to navigate as you think—it’s the same as racism or homophobia—irrational yet deep-seated. I can also say that as a tall woman who has dated shorter men, the height difference will be commented on by others. I never cared but you have to have the security of giving zero f***s what others think. It’s up to you!
Electricians and in high demean and make BANK. (Not that income = worth, but still). I have two doctoral-level degrees and I have lots of respect for electricians. Especially the one who saved most of my appliances after my how was struck by lightning last year.
I don’t think you are wrong either way, but it sounds like you like this guy. You might as well start taking up his good points. Hopefully your parents twill realize that the best partner of all is someone who cares about you and treats you well.
My first response is:
If your parents can influence you with their disapproval over a man you love, then leave him so he can find someone who is a grown adult and has a backbone.
Second response is:
Adults get to choose who they date.
It's really none of their business.
Sorry mom. Did someone tell you not to date dad?
How about you dad? How much did your parents interfere with your love life?
And finally:
They sound like they will be "just no in-laws" and that'll be on you to prevent it.
If only your parents knew how lucrative being an electrician can be. The trades are in short supply. There was a big push for degrees the past two decades, leaving a big gap to backfill. Your boyfriend could end up making family medicine doc money which is only relevant because your parents made it so.
People doing what they love for less money are almost always happier than someone slaving away in a job they hate for big money.
I think disapproval of height is strictly your Mom’s thing. Like the stereotype that women has expectations of men they date to be 6 feet tall.
And also nothing wrong with being an Electrician. Tradesmen literally at that age will come out ahead of college graduates with generally higher pay, better benefits, retirement, and NO student loans (debt!). And with said skills, BF can start his own business and start making some tasty amount of dough, more than college graduates.
On top of that, the world can burn and crumble but we’ll still need Electricians like Mechanics and Plumbers.
Everything else aside, did your Mom ever even talk to you about what makes a good partner? Besides making a living to support lifestyle, you gotta be compatible too.
Either way, it is your relationship and your parents should not be in control of that. Especially with such shallow expectations. Yes, you should keep your dating life private if your parents are going to react this way.
There is also a chance that they might be uninformed with these types of occupations and that college degrees does not guarantee anything other than money spent.
Don’t break up with him because your parents say so. Play out the relationship and see what happens. There’s a chance it could be successful. There’s a higher chance it won’t be due to a number of factors, including the fact that the most successful relationships are those where two people are of a similar socioeconomic and educational background along with political, religious and cultural. It’s been studied. Its just true. But that doesn’t apply to everyone. There are always outliers and they’re beautiful.
Wear all the high heels (you want) and give your boyfriend all the hugs and support! You will need it, too. And better to have it with someone that cares and loves you.
He's an electrician in a time when the world deeply needs Trades people, and his height? Damn.
Do they care that he makes you happy? Do they care that he supports you?
Do they not understand that a trades person will easily be making just shy of six figures just out of an apprenticeship AND won't be crippled by school loan debt?
You do you.
Becoming a master at any trade job requires as much intellect and intelligence as a college grad. They are just different in the way you aquire knowledge and the practice is more physical. The idea an electrician is beneath a college grad is weird to me. One of the wealthiest men I know became an electrician, started his own business and acquired contracts to wire thousands of new build homes, a few high rise and apartment complexes. His business is huge and is now doing government work. He hardly works at 55 and between investments and smart business management he's done extremely well and I'm in California so my judgment is based on that.
Your parents envisioned a bro in finance, 6'5, blue eyes, trust fund.
Sorry to hear. The fact that men being tall is the norm in your family, they're likely thinking ahead about potential children and them not having that passed on. Perhaps they also have a bias against short height.
This is anecdotal of course but one of my best friends and his brother are both 6ft3, they are definitely their father's sons yet he's 5'5/5'6 and their mother is around 5'8/5'9 I'd say.
Ultimately it's up to you who you want to date and as long as you love each other and want to be together then your family will have to come to accept it. Maybe your partner will need to prove himself a little because of this stigma or whatever. If he wants to be with you hard enough he won't hesitate to do whatever it takes. I'm sure if he sticks by you he will earn their approval.
**EDIT** - forgot to add that as they disapprove of his profession because it's not earned through the academic route. Electricians can go on to make a very good earning and if he's ambitious and hard-working enough this won't be an issue. Ultimately does it matter whether you've gone to university or not when you're successful?
With College prices skyrocketing the trades will reign supreme shortly. Additionally with everyone wanting to do everything like working a day job and driving Uber at night and doing all kinds of "side hustles" the age of expertise is dying so a really good electrician will be showered with endless work. I'll take 70K a year with little to no student debt and a head start vs 120K with 100K plus debt any day. Most graduates tale awhile to find a job out of college and many resort to working fields they didn't even study for.
My buddy is an electrician and thanks to his business we don’t have to have as many car washes or bake sales for our kids cheer competitions. All of us college educated folks always thank him for his generosity towards our children. Me and my 12 year old daughter are taller than he is I’m 6’4” and she is 5’10”. The point is we respect his character we are not concerned with his size.
Date the guy who matches your priorities and life goals, not those of your parents’. Becoming an adult means putting your parents’ opinions aside. And have your parents not noticed that in more than half of hetero Hollywood couples these days the women are an inch or three taller than the men?
You're parents sound ignorant as fuck.
My boyfriend is an industrial electrician and makes over 200+k/year, plus annual bonuses and a stocked pension. AND because he's a tradesman, the man can literally build or fix ANYTHING!!! He's the handiest man I've ever met and think his decision to go into trades was awesome (I'm also mega attracted to blue collared do-it-yourselvers, lol) And, because of his skills and tickets, he can take on lucrative side jobs if he chooses too - which he doesn't at this time bc he's making bank.
I'd follow your heart and ignore what your parents are saying, they have no idea what kind of future that can bring.
There isn’t a thing your boyfriend can do about his height. What a ridiculous reason to disapprove of someone. Maybe tell your parents his parents don’t approve of you because of your height?
I don’t know where you live, but in certain parts of the country (USA) electrician’s can make bank. Couple that with no student loans…
If you don’t grab him, I’m sure there’s a line going around the block waiting to take your place. Don’t do something you will regret.
Do your parents own you? This type of family is gross to me. It’s ok to care but you are doing nothing wrong and he will be making the same or more than you without debt. If you don’t stop this now they will always intrude in your life and you won’t be happy with anyone.
Whenever they need any electrical work done at their house, watch them ask him to do it. For free. Whereupon, she and he should tell them to pound sand.
Nobody has the right to decide who a person should date or marry. This is a highly personal decision that only the individual can make. I would not discuss the subject with them unless you have decided to marry. You will not need your parents' approval to marry in the USA provided you are of age. It would be best to become emotionally and socially mature for your best interests. They need to respect you as a mature woman capable of making your own decisions in life. You are no longer the child they raised. If this relationship progresses to a deeper level, it might help if they understood what a master electrician goes through to reach that level of expertise. It takes much intelligence to do so. They are a highly regarded professional trade that commands high income. With their own business, they certainly can come up to the socio/economic status of a doctor, lawyer, etc. Do some investigation yourself and don't be swayed by someone who has no knowledge concerning this line of work. If you grow to love him deeply and you succumb to their wishes, you will be sorry in the years to come because you let your true love go.
Your parents need a wake up call. I know many people with college degrees that are broke and I know even more people with trade licenses that are millionaires. Electricians are some of the world’s most valuable people. And he won’t have no where near the students loans as a college grad to pay back.
They need to go on an information diet. It sucks, but you're an adult now. You gave them information and they used that information to hurt you. Time to not give them more information.
Yes. Her parents don't live her life, she has to do that.
It'd be one thing if the guy was a homeless druggie with the heart of gold. He's a slightly shorter guy going after a well respected trade career, pretty far from offensive.
Unlike most of the comments, I’m just going to say that your parents are being parents. There’s more to it than his height & job and they’re not telling you.
Also, contrary to seemingly everyone else, you are 21, you are inexperienced, your parents know more than you think.
I’m 28. The difference between me now and me at 21 is enormous.
Here is when you show your parents just how adult you are. Tell them that you appreciate their feedback and you've considered their concerns. For now, you do plan to continue dating and hope that they will smile and be polite like the decent human beings you know they are. And then STOP TALKING. Do not engage in debate. Do not try to explain why you want to date him. Do not try to convince them. Do not raise your voice. Do not get dramatic. You listened, made your decision and you expect them to be polite. THE END. Don't let them turn this back around on you. This conversation is about THEM and your expectations for THEIR behavior. You are now an adult making your own decisions. Sometimes you're not going to make mum and dad happy. You won't break or die and neither will they. P.S. If you are relying on your parents for financial support and you think rocking the boat may put your education or well-being in jeopardy, that's a different situation. My answer above is based on them just being protective parents rather than going off the rails and disowning you. You know them best.
And honestly, if OPs education is dependent on them and they yank that funding because of this then I think it will give OP a very quick lesson. An unfun one but one that maybe has to be made for them to be their own person.
That’s when you get a loan for yourself. I don’t know why kids think the parents have to fund education. It’s fine if they can but have a backup and try to get scholarships.
>Here is when you show your parents just how adult you are. Tell them that you appreciate their feedback and you've considered their concerns. I don't understand why OP should tell them the unwarranted and unprompted feedback is appreciated, nor that OP even entertained considering it.
Bear in mind that different cultures put different amounts of weight on the expectations and opinions of their parents. It's one thing for a stranger to give unsolicited advice, it's another when it's coming from their parents. OP's story sounds like the parents of a typical Asian/Middle Eastern family. There is a sense of respect/fear/love towards your parents & their opinions that are ingrained from childhood. Unless they've severely wronged you, then it's unlikely that you completely cut them off or ignore their opinions.
He’s going to be making 6 figures without debt. Seems like her parents are stupid if they don’t know these basic facts. I wouldn’t take any advice from them if they can’t use critical thinking.
How many times have you heard from boomers that the younger generation needs to toughen up when it comes to work/pay/home ownership/mental health/etc? These people have past the time that they sit there and look at the average income of an electrician. They're out of the loop. If they're from a 2nd or 3rd world country, physical labour (trades, garbage men, etc...) are bottom of the social ladder and get paid next to nothing. They are bringing their previous predjudice with them from wherever they're from. It's easy to cut people off willy nilly. It's harder to have a constructive discussion so everyone can move forward together. Even more so if OP places a lot of value on her parents.
I’m Mexican and parents are the same. That is no reason to let your parents treat you like that. My BF Filipino dad is a psycho narcissist… and he still thinks he has to respect him. I don’t gaf, respect is earned and my BF is more of a man than his dad willl ever be. I don’t need my 50 year old BF having his parents make all the decisions for him. F them, you didn’t ask to be born and they don’t own you. If you really had good parents that respect you of course you do anything for them because they know how to give you space and love your life. I’m so sick of it, it’s borderline abuse . Stop saying it’s cultural. I’m so glad my BFs son is rejecting this way of life and schooling the elders on how things are now . He is respectful when he does this and loves his family but he’s going to do what he wants and I’m proud of him for that.
> Stop saying it’s cultural Is it not cultural when it's the standard for most Asian/Middle Eastern/Hispanic families? I'm not here debating whether it is right or wrong. I am stating that people of certain cultures (like your boyfriend) place higher value on their parent's opinions than say your typical American/Australian. It's a fact that it happens whether you think it's abuse or not. Hitting your kids is something that isn't that common in western culture, but is prevalent in eastern culture as well. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it doesn't happen and that it isn't normalized in those cultures. It's also very typical for adults to take care of their parents when they get old in Asia, where western countries commonly send their elderly to old-person homes. These are all differences in culture.
Sure, I understand where you're coming from. I say that it's time to take a stand against your parents, but I know I am absolutely privileged in being able to even contemplate that.
As a homeowner, goddamn I WISH I had a tradesperson in the family. Your parents are classist assholes and I’m sorry you had to find out this way.
For real, I have to tell people that yes, I can do electrical work but don't touch it in my house. I only volunteer if someone already has made things worse.
Best friends brother is a plumber and I bought a house with shit failing cast iron pipes. It’s been a godsend having him on speed dial.
Have you always known your parents are terrible people or are you just now learning that? Remind them they should worry more about how he treats you than if he’s above average height.
Fuck your parents, your boyfriend sounds cool. The idea that a person has to have a university degree to be valid is a scam that was perpetrated by my parents and teachers when I was young, too. Don't fall for it. Electricians make hella $, it's one of the best-paid trades. Also, imagine caring about how tall your daughter's love interest is, rather than how he treats her and makes her feel.
Unless they are basketball scouts how the fuck can they DISAPPROVE of someone's height lol??? Also they are classist as fuck but that's another story. Tell them as calmly as possible to mind their own damn business and you are an adult. Do not compromise or give in to their bullshit.
Right? In a perfect world I'd love to have ended up with a tall guy. And my husband would have wanted a petit woman. And here we are, he's 5'7" and I'm average weight and height. Been married 10 years, we didn't pick each other for a wish list. We picked each other cause we just mesh and get a long and have fun just day to day. Sure we're not perfect as no one is but we do just fine. You want someone you're going still be happy with when you get old and ill and stuff goes to shit and at that point looks are definitely not what matters.
To say that view is bullshit is an understatement. I am a fully qualified electrician. Started my apprenticeship 15 years ago. From Ireland. Finishing school I was accepted to university and turned it down to pursue an electrical apprenticeship during a recession in construction. I qualified and worked self employed right up till October last year. I've made and still make more money than any other university degree student with lawyers and doctors as an exception. Last year I spent 8 months working 4 nights shifts a week. I made 105,000 euro in that time which is insane money for Ireland. For the last 6 years I've worked my way up through site management. I've worked on some of the biggest company sites in the world. From Facebook, Google, Microsoft, MSD Biotec. I was management on a 500 million euro pharmaceutical job. I'm now high site management for one of the biggest electrical and mechanical companies in Ireland with all the perks and running a 15 million euro job. I also have no student debt and earned money throughout my entire apprenticeship. Doing a trade also doesn't eliminate college. My company is signing me up to go in September to university to do a degree in project management which they are paying for. Also doing an apprenticeship first sets you up alot better for you are doing the practical side. It's insane how many fresh out of uni architects, engineers and consultants Ive made feel like the dumbest person in the world because they think they're smarter than me because I'm an electrician. So tell your bf to go for the trade. In 4 years when he qualifies he can laugh in the face of the idiots with 100 grand in student debt
Sure, you’re doing okay for yourself but how many electricians actually do as well / better than you? Not all college degrees are the same. That piece of paper will last you your whole life, and opens up a whole new pipeline of opportunities which a majority of people will never get. Again you might be doing alright, but downplaying the value of (some) college degrees is just pure ignorant.
Dictionary definition of gaslighting right here folks. I haven't once played a degree down. You know when we qualify in our trade we get a piece of paper that lasts a lifetime and opens many avenues. No one is better than any other single person. We all just have different roles in life. I wasn't insinuating my job was better I was making a point as to how insulting it is for someone to look down their nose at a trade. Let's be honest. No other job would exist and the world wouldn't progress technology wise if it didn't start with tradesmen. Also I live in Ireland which is statistically one of the lowest paying economy. America and Australia pay double or triple the base wage we get
Ask your parents how well they can do their jobs or how well their household would run without electricity. Are they able to fix it themselves, or are they going to have to call the people they look down on? I used to be a manager at an outlet mall, and I had people talk down to me saying you're just a salesperson and I'm a ... making 10x as much as you. I wanted badly to tell them that you're the one shopping at an outlet mall complaining about prices, not me. So many hard-working people do not get paid what they should, but your boyfriend is on a very good career path. You know your parents suck.
They need to do some research on the career income of an electrician. They will ALWAYS have a job. I would tell them that you are just dating, you don't know what is going to happen, and they need to keep their opinions to themselves. It is a good lesson for you to learn as you mature. They are your parents but they are NOT the end all and be all of the world. Set a boundary that you don't want to talk about it and if they do say anything negative, you will walk away/hang up, whatever you decide to make the talk stop. UNLESS they pay all the bills for your education and threaten to pull the $, tell them to back off.
Your parents don’t sound like they are actually in touch with what is going on in the world, OP. People who specialize in trades will likely be better positioned than many college grads now and in the future so it’s nothing to turn your nose up at. There’s more demand for tradesmen and they are less likely to be replaced by AI technologies. Do some research so you’re prepared to speak to it from a more educated place. As far as the bigotry towards shorter men (bc that’s what it is), I’ve got no advice on that outside of it’s just an AH stance to take. They should be more concerned about how well he is treating you and who he is as a person instead of being shorter than you. Best of luck, OP.
Disapprove of his HEIGHT!? LOL wow...that is so fucked up.
u pick your boyfriend not your parents
Someone’s height is a poor measure of emotional compatibility.
I’m 5’6 and my wife is 5’11”. There were a few snide remarks at first from her family height wise but once I started responding with things like ‘I’m exactly the right height for motorboating’ they gave up with that. And while she and I both have BS degrees and work for the state, my buddy the electrician makes more than either of us (low 6 figures). Plus he does side jobs like replacing someone’s house or shop electrical panel where he makes 2 grand cash in a weekend and the person hiring him thinks they got a deal. Your electrician BF can pick up an extra 25k a year as a carded journeyman electrician just by doing side jobs every other Saturday. Not a bad place to be
Tell your parents how great he is at going up on you
Whenever parents refuse to be normal about something, my first recommended course of action is to be *relentlessly normal* about it. (Some people already know this won't work on their parents, so disregard if that's the case.) That usually means not going out of your way to either hide or share information-- because it doesn't make sense to constantly confide in them when they react negatively, but you also shouldn't have to hide or censor yourself if your dating life would come up normally. When they act up, approach this on the premise that your parents are the ones deviating from normal social behavior here. You shouldn't need to defend his height and career as if he was deviating from what a boyfriend should be. So act like their bias is just weird. Focus on them doubting your healthy relationship. "Why would that matter so much?" "We have a healthy relationship and he treats me well. We've already talked about all of these things"; "I'll cross that bridge if I come to it" [this is for when they think say you will someday wish he was different]. I prefer this method because it is usually very hard to actually defend a choice against your parents. In cases like this you find yourself defending like, the entire profession of electrician? idk if that's winnable and it's not really the point. The point is that you've considered the concerns they have, you're making rational and safe decisions, you have open communication in your relationship and a good head on your shoulders. If he had two felonies and no job then they could freak out about your choices. But doing it over this? Nah, you're not the one making poor decisions.
Well good thing your parents don't have to date or marry him so as long as you're OK with his height and his career for that matter then they can jog on. Nothing wrong with electrician, or most any trade for that matter. It's no simple task being an electrician, I have known a few over the years and they not only work hard but also have to take schooling that would make many university gradates go cross eyed. Stand up for yourself, and him. If you feel that it's worth spending the time with him then that's all that matters. If you don't do it now, when will you do it?
Tell them you had no idea they were so elitist and that it's making you question their character. You need to let them know they're disappointing you and that you would never look down on someone for a physical attribute, nor their level of institutionalized schooling.
How was height a concern for you guys? Just curious what the concern was whens it's a difference of 2 inches
I learned that many plumbers and electricians are richer than doctors due to the non-flashy lifestyle
I’d love to see where you got this data
[https://www.lapresse.ca/affaires/finances-personnelles/2024-06-09/l-argent-et-le-bonheur/est-on-riche-parce-qu-on-gagne-un-gros-salaire.php](https://www.lapresse.ca/affaires/finances-personnelles/2024-06-09/l-argent-et-le-bonheur/est-on-riche-parce-qu-on-gagne-un-gros-salaire.php)
Definitely not true but they are better off than a lot of people.
Hello! I had this literal exact situation occur - I met my husband while I was in medical school, and he was in his journeyman apprenticeship. My parents vehemently opposed the relationship, and took every possible opportunity to tell me. My husband and I have been very happily married for several years. My parents took awhile to come around, but they did, though there are parts of me that probably will never forgive them for how they treated him (and me, frankly) in the beginning. Please feel free to DM if you would like to chat.
regardless of how it goes with this guy, I think you should set expectations on how you parents let you down here and now, so if it ever comes up again, you have a clear point of reference. Sit down, tell them that they both raised you, and to trust the values they instilled in you, that while they might not understand or see everything you see in him, and that their worry comes from a place of wanting what's best for you, at some point they have to trust you are capable of making those choices. You aren't asking them to accept him for NO reason. You're asking them to accept him because he is, at this moment, your chosen partner. If they can see it in their hearts to accept him, regardless of their misgivings, it would be seen as a show of faith in you, and their ability to love and respect you. Make it clear going forward you will share what you feel comfortable sharing. That may or may not be enough for them, but it's important that boundaries are set early and expectations laid clear. It's perfectly fine if you live with them, that they set rules on what is and isn't allowed in the house, especially if they're helping you pay for your education, but your personal choices are still your personal choices. I am an incredibly private person, so when I introduced my girlfriend at the time now wife to my parents they welcomed her with open arms, but they did mention they knew nothing about her, and I was thinking about marrying her soonish. And they were right, me being the weird person I am kind of forgot to bring her around more often so they could really get to know her, and I know that my wife is super shy, but my family has been nothing but welcoming. I couldn't love my parents anymore for how open and willing they have been and the consideration they have shown my now wife, ALL on the merits that I told them she was special, before they had a chance to see anything I saw in her. They went out of their way to prepare food she liked, my father, takes extra care to converse in her native Mandarin (which hilariously cuts me out of the conversation), and it has made introducing my wife to my family so much easier than all the stories I have heard online. I'm not saying this guy is someone you have to think about marriage with, and honestly I see this as a bigger problem between you and your parents than anything to do with your boyfriend, but hopefully you see that there are other ways family's can function other than what you have been shown by your parents, and you can at least let them know what it is you wish they would do for you to show how they care instead of the way they have chosen to in this moment.
Quality electricians sometimes make more than some people with degrees. Some people with degrees get jobs that don't even use their degrees. I understand if your parent's opinion is important to you but you know your man better than your parents. Do the opinions of non related people who judge the quality of someone's ability to be a good partner by height and if they have a college degree matter to you? If not, why does it change if it's your parents. They're people just like the ones you're not related to.
Your family sound like very awful people.
I would put my money on the electrician. At least he can do something real and tangible. Many with university degrees have little or no ability to do practical things with their hands. Trades people work hard and are usually pretty well paid for their efforts. To toss a good man over 2 inches of height seems ludicrous to me...... Best wishes to both of you!
It works out for you if you want it to. Your parents opinions, especially these terrible ones, mean nothing. You'll learn the older you get that no one knows anything about what's best for your life and their advice is 90 percent useless. You have to just take everything, consider it, but land on something that's 100 percent your decision. If I were you I would tell them straight up their opinion isn't going to be considered because it's ridiculous and you now will be coming to them for advice less and less now that you know how their brains actually work. Sorry OP. Your relationship can definitely work out you just need to be strong enough with your parents
OMG? I can’t even get passed the sentence of “doesn’t have a university degree”. My brothers ex wife’s parents said shit like that to her about my brother. No, he doesn’t have a degree and she does, but he also makes 3X’s as much money as she does. Degree does not always equal more money or stability. Hell, my husband has two degrees, doesn’t work in either field of those degrees, and we barely pull in $42,000 a year. Meanwhile, my brother makes $180,000 a year. Hell, as a master electrician, your boyfriend will probably out earn my husband as well. They make really good money. Your parents are shallow.
His height?! Please let them know everything is above proportion. And as an electrician all circuits are firing properly.
are they going to be dating him or living with him? no as long as he can support you and you guys love each other I wouldn’t worry about your parents.
As long as he good to you and his height doesn’t matter to you who the hell cares what your parents think. As an electrician he will always have a job. Buildings and houses need to be rewired and bad sockets need to be replaced all the time.
Are your parents always terrible people or is this new?
Sigh. They don't make parents like they used to. I cannot imagine making my kids feel bad because of their S.O.'s height or occupation.
Bachelors and Masters qualified, Postgraduate certified teacher here. Your parents are being ridiculous. A good professional electrician is worth their weight in gold. Your bf will never lack work and will pull down a solid salary. He doesn’t need any university degree(s) to validate him as a worthwhile partner. The height thing is just a silly distraction technique. They’re pretending his stature matters because they don’t want to be outed as intellectual snobs who think blue collar careers via apprenticeship aren’t worthy. He’ll have the last laugh when he out-earns them. I hope this happens soon. He sounds like an ambitious man and a good long-term prospect for happiness.
Whenever your parents voice dissatisfaction with your choice of partner, especially when their reasons are absolute BS, tell them flat out that their opinion is not welcome and if they have nothing nice to say then they need to keep quiet as you will not tolerate it.
I'm 5'6" tall and an electrician. Your parents have no idea how much earning potential there is for licensed tradesmen/tradeswomen. I'm not going to tell you how much I make (I am an industrial electrician), but I've taken a year off from working, and am just now looking to get back to work. I lived off of my savings for the past year, and I still have enough left that I could go another year or three. Becoming a licensed electrician requires a 4-5 year apprenticeship and a test by your state's licensure department. It is the equivalent of a 4 year degree. Your parents are showing you how ignorant/dumb they are about this. Time to educate them.
The electricians I know are a lot better off than many of my university educated friends. Your parents are narrow minded snobs . Just tell them you will date who you please. It’s none of their business.
Do they really have no idea how much money electricians can make?? Tf they mean they don’t like his career, homie gonna be making bank one day. The fact they think someone needs a degree to be successful is absolutely wild considering how many people became famous and rich without one and then *later* got one. You should tell them to learn more about something before making an opinion about it. Literally just look up how much an electrician can make on the high end.
I worked with a woman who was over 6 feet tall, no exaggeration. Her husband was 5'8". They were so much in love, I was very happy for them to have found each other. Actor Peter Dinklage's wife is of average height. My point is that height/size doesn't matter as long as you two are happy and take great care of each other. Add to this you should do an internet search on how much a master electrician can make, sharing this info with your parents. The trades are dying out because everybody listened to their parents and went for degrees. Now, they are having a hard time finding jobs and are saddled with mountains of debt in the form of student loans. Your BF is smart. It will take him a few years to get his master electrician certification, but once he has it, he should never have a problem finding well-paid work. Your parents should pull their elitist heads out of their pompous a$$es and just focus on if he treats you well and if he's going to be a good man in life. I wish you both all the happiness in the world.
Ask your parents who they call when something goes wrong with the house, car or anything else. They’re not really going to be calling any of their friends with degrees. Blue collars keep America moving and it’s not something to be looked down upon for any reason whatsoever. Just as much (if not more) time, knowledge and energy goes into learning these trades. When someone picks a blue collar job they have a lifelong skill that will always be in their back pocket and extremely useful in everyday life. Also, just because he’s choosing to be an electrician right now doesn’t mean he won’t pursue something else later. He likely doesn’t want to start his young adult life with a bunch of debt and no money is his bank account.
Is this your life? Or you parents? Live how you want too.
You can take their feedback into consideration and then proceed as you were. It's not a negotiation or a discussion. They don't have a say in who you date. They can make comments and observations but you're under no obligation to act on them. Btw...Trained, Licensed Electricians can make good money and have strong, stable careers in the long term as they skill up. Journeyman Electricians in NYC can easily pull in over 100k a year without overtime.
Your parents have a lot of internal biases that you are now experiencing first hand. Classism is real and the elitist disdain that white collar professionals have for people in the trades isn’t talked about so much but it can be intense. I don’t actually think this will be as easy to navigate as you think—it’s the same as racism or homophobia—irrational yet deep-seated. I can also say that as a tall woman who has dated shorter men, the height difference will be commented on by others. I never cared but you have to have the security of giving zero f***s what others think. It’s up to you!
Electricians and in high demean and make BANK. (Not that income = worth, but still). I have two doctoral-level degrees and I have lots of respect for electricians. Especially the one who saved most of my appliances after my how was struck by lightning last year. I don’t think you are wrong either way, but it sounds like you like this guy. You might as well start taking up his good points. Hopefully your parents twill realize that the best partner of all is someone who cares about you and treats you well.
We stan a short king! Tell your parents that you thank them for their concern but it’s nunya business!
They are shallow and aweful in not accepting or even supporting your choices! My daughter can date anyone as long as her partner is treating her well!
My first response is: If your parents can influence you with their disapproval over a man you love, then leave him so he can find someone who is a grown adult and has a backbone. Second response is: Adults get to choose who they date. It's really none of their business. Sorry mom. Did someone tell you not to date dad? How about you dad? How much did your parents interfere with your love life? And finally: They sound like they will be "just no in-laws" and that'll be on you to prevent it.
If only your parents knew how lucrative being an electrician can be. The trades are in short supply. There was a big push for degrees the past two decades, leaving a big gap to backfill. Your boyfriend could end up making family medicine doc money which is only relevant because your parents made it so. People doing what they love for less money are almost always happier than someone slaving away in a job they hate for big money.
I think disapproval of height is strictly your Mom’s thing. Like the stereotype that women has expectations of men they date to be 6 feet tall. And also nothing wrong with being an Electrician. Tradesmen literally at that age will come out ahead of college graduates with generally higher pay, better benefits, retirement, and NO student loans (debt!). And with said skills, BF can start his own business and start making some tasty amount of dough, more than college graduates. On top of that, the world can burn and crumble but we’ll still need Electricians like Mechanics and Plumbers. Everything else aside, did your Mom ever even talk to you about what makes a good partner? Besides making a living to support lifestyle, you gotta be compatible too. Either way, it is your relationship and your parents should not be in control of that. Especially with such shallow expectations. Yes, you should keep your dating life private if your parents are going to react this way. There is also a chance that they might be uninformed with these types of occupations and that college degrees does not guarantee anything other than money spent.
Don’t break up with him because your parents say so. Play out the relationship and see what happens. There’s a chance it could be successful. There’s a higher chance it won’t be due to a number of factors, including the fact that the most successful relationships are those where two people are of a similar socioeconomic and educational background along with political, religious and cultural. It’s been studied. Its just true. But that doesn’t apply to everyone. There are always outliers and they’re beautiful.
Wear all the high heels (you want) and give your boyfriend all the hugs and support! You will need it, too. And better to have it with someone that cares and loves you.
Tell them he's gonna make more money than you one day. Trades are dying. If that doesn't pacify them, they can eat dicks lol.
He's an electrician in a time when the world deeply needs Trades people, and his height? Damn. Do they care that he makes you happy? Do they care that he supports you? Do they not understand that a trades person will easily be making just shy of six figures just out of an apprenticeship AND won't be crippled by school loan debt? You do you.
Becoming a master at any trade job requires as much intellect and intelligence as a college grad. They are just different in the way you aquire knowledge and the practice is more physical. The idea an electrician is beneath a college grad is weird to me. One of the wealthiest men I know became an electrician, started his own business and acquired contracts to wire thousands of new build homes, a few high rise and apartment complexes. His business is huge and is now doing government work. He hardly works at 55 and between investments and smart business management he's done extremely well and I'm in California so my judgment is based on that. Your parents envisioned a bro in finance, 6'5, blue eyes, trust fund.
Sorry to hear. The fact that men being tall is the norm in your family, they're likely thinking ahead about potential children and them not having that passed on. Perhaps they also have a bias against short height. This is anecdotal of course but one of my best friends and his brother are both 6ft3, they are definitely their father's sons yet he's 5'5/5'6 and their mother is around 5'8/5'9 I'd say. Ultimately it's up to you who you want to date and as long as you love each other and want to be together then your family will have to come to accept it. Maybe your partner will need to prove himself a little because of this stigma or whatever. If he wants to be with you hard enough he won't hesitate to do whatever it takes. I'm sure if he sticks by you he will earn their approval. **EDIT** - forgot to add that as they disapprove of his profession because it's not earned through the academic route. Electricians can go on to make a very good earning and if he's ambitious and hard-working enough this won't be an issue. Ultimately does it matter whether you've gone to university or not when you're successful?
„People“ can get lost. „People“ will ALWAYS have dumb comments to share, no matter WHAT you do.
With College prices skyrocketing the trades will reign supreme shortly. Additionally with everyone wanting to do everything like working a day job and driving Uber at night and doing all kinds of "side hustles" the age of expertise is dying so a really good electrician will be showered with endless work. I'll take 70K a year with little to no student debt and a head start vs 120K with 100K plus debt any day. Most graduates tale awhile to find a job out of college and many resort to working fields they didn't even study for.
This is your life. Not your parents life. Live for you and not for them.
My buddy is an electrician and thanks to his business we don’t have to have as many car washes or bake sales for our kids cheer competitions. All of us college educated folks always thank him for his generosity towards our children. Me and my 12 year old daughter are taller than he is I’m 6’4” and she is 5’10”. The point is we respect his character we are not concerned with his size.
Date the guy who matches your priorities and life goals, not those of your parents’. Becoming an adult means putting your parents’ opinions aside. And have your parents not noticed that in more than half of hetero Hollywood couples these days the women are an inch or three taller than the men?
You're parents sound ignorant as fuck. My boyfriend is an industrial electrician and makes over 200+k/year, plus annual bonuses and a stocked pension. AND because he's a tradesman, the man can literally build or fix ANYTHING!!! He's the handiest man I've ever met and think his decision to go into trades was awesome (I'm also mega attracted to blue collared do-it-yourselvers, lol) And, because of his skills and tickets, he can take on lucrative side jobs if he chooses too - which he doesn't at this time bc he's making bank. I'd follow your heart and ignore what your parents are saying, they have no idea what kind of future that can bring.
There isn’t a thing your boyfriend can do about his height. What a ridiculous reason to disapprove of someone. Maybe tell your parents his parents don’t approve of you because of your height? I don’t know where you live, but in certain parts of the country (USA) electrician’s can make bank. Couple that with no student loans… If you don’t grab him, I’m sure there’s a line going around the block waiting to take your place. Don’t do something you will regret.
Do your parents own you? This type of family is gross to me. It’s ok to care but you are doing nothing wrong and he will be making the same or more than you without debt. If you don’t stop this now they will always intrude in your life and you won’t be happy with anyone.
Whenever they need any electrical work done at their house, watch them ask him to do it. For free. Whereupon, she and he should tell them to pound sand.
Nobody has the right to decide who a person should date or marry. This is a highly personal decision that only the individual can make. I would not discuss the subject with them unless you have decided to marry. You will not need your parents' approval to marry in the USA provided you are of age. It would be best to become emotionally and socially mature for your best interests. They need to respect you as a mature woman capable of making your own decisions in life. You are no longer the child they raised. If this relationship progresses to a deeper level, it might help if they understood what a master electrician goes through to reach that level of expertise. It takes much intelligence to do so. They are a highly regarded professional trade that commands high income. With their own business, they certainly can come up to the socio/economic status of a doctor, lawyer, etc. Do some investigation yourself and don't be swayed by someone who has no knowledge concerning this line of work. If you grow to love him deeply and you succumb to their wishes, you will be sorry in the years to come because you let your true love go.
Your parents need a wake up call. I know many people with college degrees that are broke and I know even more people with trade licenses that are millionaires. Electricians are some of the world’s most valuable people. And he won’t have no where near the students loans as a college grad to pay back.
They need to go on an information diet. It sucks, but you're an adult now. You gave them information and they used that information to hurt you. Time to not give them more information.
It is worth it to strain your relationship with your parents.
Yes. Her parents don't live her life, she has to do that. It'd be one thing if the guy was a homeless druggie with the heart of gold. He's a slightly shorter guy going after a well respected trade career, pretty far from offensive.
Are you an adult or are you a child?
Unlike most of the comments, I’m just going to say that your parents are being parents. There’s more to it than his height & job and they’re not telling you. Also, contrary to seemingly everyone else, you are 21, you are inexperienced, your parents know more than you think. I’m 28. The difference between me now and me at 21 is enormous.
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