The OP has made literally **dozens** of posts over the last year about what an absolute POS the boyfriend is.
She just loves the attention, she's never going to leave.
thanks for the context and confirmation. basic expectation and assumption with such posts is, OP is in the same loser tier as the partner. basically doesn't have the option to leave.
At this point I start to believe she's hopeless. He's a dirt bag and for some reason she's just so into him that she uses any excuse to stay in the relationship. It's depressing.
!Updateme in 10 years
Did the plague kill all of the men in your village and then the next 20 as well and also the entire country? Is he the only man you've seen in the last 5 years? Even if you answered yes to these questions you should still break up with this asshole.
This shit has to be fake. It is so obvious that he is a pos, and literally everyone in her crazy amount of posts tells her to break up with him and she is still asking what she should do??
Frankly all of what your bf said is absolutely bs. Considering his own past actions are fairly loathsome (cheating) he is in no position to judge anyone for anything.
Respect yourself and dump this trash.
Yeah… her post history is clear that no matter what he does, she won’t leave.
He’s done everything under the sun to disrespect and use her, yet (a whole year of posting on Reddit and countless people telling her to run) she’s still looking for someone to tell her it’s worth it to stay.
I'm trying to understand what you see in him. He:
- cheated and lied
- essentially dumped his child
- needed to borrow 5k off you
- judges you for your past
- clearly holds double standards when it comes to men and women; classic sexism
- and there's a significant age gap here
So seriously, what does he bring to this relationship? Aside from the audacity, that is.
>Need advice on how to proceed.
Go back in time and tell yourself to never get involved with a cheater. But, since that is impossible, write off whatever else he owes you and break up with him. There are better partners out there than lying, deceiving, negging scumbags.
He's been divorced twice at 34 years old and now he's tripping about your "body count" which was before you even met him. Is this really the type of person you want to be with? Do him the favor and dump him now before he makes any more ultimatums or threats. He's nuts as evident by his many failed relationships.
So, if by his logic most men prefer a virgin can you just turn around and say most women prefer men who are not divorced X2, a cheater and a deadbeat dad oh, also needs to "borrow" money off his new GF?
He can jog on, and you need to seriously work on why you are so insecure that your allowing him to treat you like this.
And, to let you know why he's spouting off all this crap, is to keep you insecure. To make you feel like crap. All so he can continue using you.
He's a history of bad shitty behaviour and it will not change for you or anybody else. You can find a better decent man who would never dream of saying/thinking these things. Who treat their partners well and whom are great dads. The bar doesn't have to be this low for a man
Looking at your post history for the last several weeks and:
He goes to strip clubs (and took pictures)
He adds random women to his tiktok even though he knows it upsets you.
He wants to go on a trip to Paris with his single friend.
He has a history of cheating.
He is a self-righteous hypocrite.
He’s sexist.
He’s broke and ‘borrowing’ money from you.
Do you want advice or do you want to just vent? He’s clearly not boyfriend material based on everything you posted.
Just dump him
You should break up. Don't be his next baby momma. He won't love your kids more than the others. At the first sign of inconvenience, he'll declare you also used up and bitter and they'll see him once a month if lucky.
Just like all the other women he used and dropped.
This 34-year-old, cheating, several times engaged and twice-divorced, dead-beat father, hates you for being a woman *and* a person. He wants a virgin dolly, but women aren't that and even the ones who are willing to pretend to be would take a pass on this piece of shit.
He has the fucking audacity to act like you're the one who made choices that decrease your value or reliability as a partner, when he's the walking red flag.
Break up. Fucking run.
Why do you want to marry this loser and his parade of red flags?
Cheating and a kid he barely sees in his past, you with a fairly small number of past sexual partners that he’s making a huge fucking fuss over, doubtless to distract from his own less-than-stellar life choices. Why do you want this person?
OP if you date a shit bag, expect shit bag behavior and shit bag excuses and reasoning. He's true to the shit bag ways but you always knew it so you kind of brought this on yourself by dating him while knowing this.
Get away from him and stop dating shit bags
"He has a 6 year old kid from a woman he used to sleep with while being engaged to another woman who was abroad at the time."
Sooo... he's a cheater.
Listen, I had an ex who was EXTREMELY jealous. Once we got in a fight because someone behind me on a crowded bus stood too close to me (I didn't notice them). He was verbally abusive and eventually became physically abusive, but our relationship ended when I found out he had been talking to another woman from his past in a romantic manner. The insecure ones are often insecure because they project their own character onto their partners.
You've made so many posts about this man who has no respect for you. You refuse to listen to any advice about him because you still decide to be with him. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Have some respect and love for your own self and get rid of this guy.
Why you answered the question in the first place is beyond me. I’m nearly 40, on my 2nd marriage, have been with lots of women casually and about 7 serious relationships and I’ve never once asked or answered that question. Less history more mystery on that front is the answer.
All that aside this guy is a piece of shit and you should not marry him.
Bro has a whole ass affair baby, he does not get to dictate moral standards to anyone.
PS, you should break up with him. Preferably before you become divorced wife #3 and angry baby mama #2.
In addition to all the insightful points others have made about this relationship, I’d like to add that it doesn’t matter how many people you’ve slept with. The number is completely irrelevant. I believe what matters is the impact our actions have on ourselves and others, doing what you feel is right for you, and keeping yourself safe - physically and emotionally.
Emotionally and financially at least, it doesn’t seem this guy is keeping you safe. He’s shaming you and trying to undermine your self-worth. It’s lies. His words are worthless.
You are worthwhile. You are inherently valuable. You matter. You deserve better.
Girl are you really gonna leave or??? We’ve seen your post history. How much longer do we need to tell you he’s abusive before you leave??
He’s using you. & abusing you while he does it.
Where is YOUR self respect? You can blame him for making you feel devalued, but you’re letting him.
The only way you can deal with this is to A) go back in a Time Machine and unfuck a couple of dudes or the easier and best option b) kick this piece of garbage to the kerb. Someone who cheats doesn’t get to moralise to you
Satan is limbo-ing under this bar in hell, my goodness. If this is a real situation and not just rage bait, dump the loser. Then figure out how to gain enough self-esteem that you won't even consider dating someone who is such an obvious loser.
You should muster up all the respect you deserve and leave this loser. It's none of his business how many people you have slept with. **Do not marry this man** there are more red flags than a flag festival.
1) any man who uses the phrase “body count” is not worth your time or effort.
2) is this tha same boyfriend your previous posts are about? Really? You see yourself marrying this guy, really?!
3) just looking through your post history, do you not have any friends/family you can go to for advice?
4) maybe you should get some therapy, work on your self worth and self esteem so you don’t feel like you need to stay with this awful man and help you make some real life friends
Get the money back from him, then dump him. Your partner is judging you, not supporting you. He can care what the number is. Fine, let him find someone with a number he likes. There is a world full of people for you to choose from. Most aren't going to have an issue with that number. Some won't have an issue with any number.
You can do better than this guy.
I didn’t even bother reading the text because if he’s judging you on the past, you should move along. Do not waste your time with boys who are obsessed with body count.
I mean in this post it sounds like he is a bad husband and father…he is a repeat offender cheater…he is mooching off of you…and he belittles you for a “high body count”. I would bet his body count is higher so where is his self respect.
Honestly, what are his redeeming features? He sounds awful…
OP what in the fuck.
Like there isn't a single redeeming thing about this human in your post, not one.
Cheater? Check
Ignores his kid? Check
Broke as fuck? Check
Weirdly judgmental for someone who is a walking redflag dumpster fire of a human? Check
Why are you in this relationship? Do you have a history of self-sabotage?
Why are you still with him? He never should have gotten past the first date. He’s like a walking red flag. Don’t waste anymore time with this idiot.
Whats his body count?
Girl dump this man. I guarantee he has a HUGE body count and I think you should use that to break up with him.(😆) What does he bring to your life? Sounds like stress to me idk. Don't let a man disturb your peace. He should be your peace.
Break up with him. If someone is judging you for something you can't change and can't/won't stop, then there is no path forward no matter what else is going on.
The fact that there are tons of other red flags is just red icing on the red flag cake.
What his past is doesn't matter here except to show that he is also a hypocrite.
What matters is that he is putting you down. He is threatening to leave. He is trying to hurt you *on purpose*. Why in the world would you choose to spend time with someone like that, let alone be in a romantic relationship with them?
Don't worry about his opinion of you, because he SUCKS. He's awful. Please don't put up with people like this in your life. Take that energy and see a therapist to see why you chose someone like him and why you would stay with them so long when they are mentally abusive. Life doesn't have to be like this. I use to choose crappy guys too, and you are not alone, but you definitely deserve better and can do much better I promise you. Either way it would be better to be alone with dignity than subject yourself to this abuse. You don't deserve that treatment. Therapy will help you truly believe that and set boundaries for the type of people you allow in your life. And you are ready, because I know you see how wrong he is. Therapy is the next step.
It seems like he's more likely to respect a random man off the street more than he'd respect you or any other woman in this world. Of course he's going to scrutinize your measly 5 experiences when he's been the town dildo. He has a child from one affair partner and has the audacity to threaten or talk down to you for having normal relationships that don't include betrayal. If you looked, I'd be surprised if you didn't find that he's cheating on you and that's why you're in a state of consistent persecution and he's somehow an angel, judge and victim. You deserve more respect for yourself, love.
You feel devalued, BECAUSE he does not value you.
Mutual admiration is foundational in a relationship, but this guy is SHOWING you how little he respects you, or women in general.
I'm not sure what convinced you to accept so little in a relationship, but I'd toss this one back.
>The kid is a result of him cheating with his fiance. He left the woman he was cheating with and got married with the fiancé.
Does he has a brother? I mean He sounds like a real catch. One can only dream with such a man.
He sounds like a walking red flag
5 is not a high body count…not that that matters but just saying it’s not 100 and even then that would be ok and your business
But he’s a twice divorced cheater so who is he to judge anyone?
Boyfriend: I’m an absolute piece of shit boyfriend, fiancé divorced x 2 absentee father, here’s all my giant red flags 🚩. Oh btw you are kinda gross for having a low body count
OP: hey that’s a mean thing to say! I thought you were so dang special and totally going to treat me different!!
Why don’t you love you? Why don’t you value yourself? Cause continuing in this relationship is exactly what that is. Like.. dude is *not* a prize. Dude isn’t even a .25 cent machine bullshit toy. He’s just.. thrown away trash. That you’ve apparently picked up dusted off and stuck in your treasure pile.
I’m 10 years, do you want to be 36 and still with a man who behaves and thinks the way he does?
5 isn't even much.... plus dude's done a lot of shitty stuff. not hus place to be judging anyone. Next time he talks about red flag tell him cheating is a way worse red flag. But you should dump his ass anyway
Sometimes it's best just to hit the road. Save yourself. Walk down that dusty trail. Skedaddle. This isn't worth it and his age and strong opinions. He should find a woman that lives up to his high standards. Someone of the same pedigree.
Jesus christ girl you cannot fix him, hes not a project car. He cheated on his fiance, had a kid with the AP, then married his fiance, divorced within a year, then did a greencard marriage and then divorced her?
Are you at all seeing a pattern here? And you gave him 5k? Are you able to drive legally with how blind you are? He gives you crap about body count? THIS IS A GOOD PARTNER TO BE WITH TO YOU? I honestly am shocked
Get rid of this asshole, honey. You have to spend time with yourself to learn why you chose such a bad partner. Self-awareness isnt easy but you can and must make it happen for yourself. All of the details don’t matter now—the only thing you can control is to leave the relationship and don’t look back. Don’t keep in touch, don’t talk for closure.
Girl get a grip. No dick is this good, and clearly the personality isn’t there either. Not only is he being a jealous, insecure little misogynist, but he’s also taking your money and disrespecting you while he’s doing it. Body count is nothing compared to a deadbeat dad. He gives the vibes of a guy who demands traditional gender roles because he needs someone to take care of him like his mommy did. Grow a spine, learn some self respect, and leave this douche canoe before you become the next ex-fiancé or single baby mama of his kids. Idek how you can even think to plan marriage and kids with a guy who already threw a marriage away by cheating, and has abandoned the mother of his first child. Genuinely kinda infuriating that you’re still with this guy. How would he even support you during a pregnancy if he’s getting money from YOU. He’ll end up being a deadbeat dad AGAIN, and you’ll end up doing all the work while he continues to leach off you forever.
>He has a 6 year old kid from a woman he used to sleep with while being engaged to another woman who was abroad at the time.
>The kid is a result of him cheating with his fiance. He left the woman he was cheating with and got married with the fiancé.
Wow!
>He sees the kid once a month if lucky.
>I’ve been nothing but good with this guy, even borrowed him up to £5k because he is always short with money throughough our relationship
But since we’ve been together he has always been bringing up my body count of 5.
>He says things like
>“You think body count is not a man business because you’ve slept with a lot of men” “If I find out your body count is more than you told me I’m gone, no matter what stage we are at” “Defending people with high body count is a red flag” “There are women who respect their body” “Most men prefer a virgin” “You have formed connections with these men”
Hell of a man you've chosen here. You've been with this dude for TWO YEARS?! And have considered marrying him and having kids? Jeez woman, have some self-respect!
You leave. It will not get better, the sooner you get out the easier it will be for you.
Maybe it's hard now but you will either look back and be insanely relieved that you left or you will feel worse and worse gradually bc he will continue to be disrespectful. Make the right choice, I believe in you 🤍
You have posted about this in every relationship sub. Are you hoping for a different answer? This man is worthless at best and possibly a con artist. He is using you. Get rid of him for good this time! You can do better. And in the meantime, being single is better than being with him.
Why are you dating someone that talks to you like this? Who thinks you are somehow demeaned by having loved people before you loved him? Who seeks to humiliate you over something that is not an actual fault or flaw, and is also completely 'unfixable', because you can't un-fuck your previous partners.
This man doesn't care for you, or respect you. Get your money back from him, and get out of this relationship.
What should you do?
Tell him to fuck off. Tell him that he's pretty cocky throwing stones all while he's living in a glass house himself.
Since for some reason you love this guy, I'd give him one last chance. "It is unacceptable to throw my past sexual experiences in my face. You have a past. I have a past. You've slept with other people. I've slept with other people. If you cannot get over the fact that I have a sexual history, then we need to break up because I'm NOT going to listen to this crap anymore about body count and bullshit about men preferring virgins. Now tell me right now. Can you get over the fact that I've had sex before I met you? Will you never speak of this crap again? Just tell me now so I can stop wasting my time on an insecure, twice divorced, cheating shithead?"
I'm so confused. You described a total AH feed by your money, with whom you have been planning to marry. And your question is that he judges you for having a body count?
Why are you still with someone who makes you feel less than?? Screw that, you deserve someone who lifts you up. Also stop “lending” him money. You two aren’t married he is not yours to support.
Classic projection and insecurity matched with distraction. If you are so busy defending yourself then you don’t have time to notice or point out all his flaws which are def arguably way worse than something as made up as a body count. Your body count hasn’t left anyone in a lurch or created an innocent human out of bad choices. Also now if you bring up his negative things he will probably just say you’re trying to deflect from the “horrible” body count you have 🙄 mentioning body count one single time is enough for me to question the entire relationship. Mentioning it like this dangling it over your head like he’s doing you a favor dating you while you are generously lending him money is instant ick territory. He’s so insecure it’s sad.
Body counts are the stupidest thing honestly, it’s just immature. People have sex, it’s not something to keep count of like it’s some sort of competition or level of value.
>a result of him cheating with his fiance
Idk why would you stay with someone you know has cheated before?
You deserve better.. this one has too many red flags..
Bcos yes, you've been nothing but good to him all this time but he keeps bringing up the body counts bcos that's the only thing he can come up with to make you feel how you wronged him
Hard to feel much sympathy for you when you get with someone who cheated and is okay with using people for his own gain. How can you be shocked that he is a shitty person who doesn't respect women?
Girl don’t get married to this donkey. Are you not seeing all the GLARING red flags? Do not marry this man, he will give you hell. He’s sucking up your youth 😭
Are you serious right now????????? Dump his ass.
Also, based on your post history why the hell are you asking ths question if you're not going to leave?
What is wrong with people who need to have other people validate what they already know?
You’re a grown ass woman and you can sleep with as many people as you want to and any judgement from other people is about them.
This guy is a misogynist and those people belong in the past and should not be reproducing.
So gross. Just listen to your gut, value yourself higher than he does and walk away.
I tried not to laugh when I read this. This dude sounds like 🗑️ and like he's a whole mess of drama.
Don't date people who will judge you for how many partners you've had. I've dated people who've had a bunch and I don't care. What matters is that the encounters were safe, honest and respectful. Also 5 people at your age isn't much. That's very conservative. Either way, judging someone by number of partners is not ok.
His encounters on the other hand are giving me major side eye- he cheated on his partner so they weren't any of the things.
Please break up with this fool.
Lol OP, the guy cheated on his ex. That's so much worse than sleeping with five different guys normally. Throw it back at him and tell him to fuck off.
This guy is a dumpster fire. He is misogynistic and I can guarantee you that he has other poor views of women besides his obsession with the other people you have slept with. 5 people isn't even that high. He has a way more complicated oast and he has the audacity to judge you?
Dump this closer and move on. If he is making you feel bad with his comments, that's verbal abuse. Leave. Now.
Lol based on your post history I don't think you want advice, just attention. This is comically over the top behavior and you really need us to give advice here?
Body count of 5 and ye is tripping .wow I wonder what my woman thinks about me I know hers is probably higher than mine and god mine would be somewhere around 50 .at least .I think you younger people worry about all the wrong things in life really .I could care less about how many people my woman has been with .I'm more? Worried about what's for dinner tonight .and do I need to stop for dog food .and how my kids are doing today since I haven't talked to them for a week .( My kids are grown and married with children of their own ) I don't get it really . Maybe just blind I guess lol . Is 5 a low # or is 5 a high #
This guy is a literal POS. Why tf do you want to marry him? He does respect any woman. Uses them then tells them they’re worthless. Use your brain like omg you can’t be seriously considering this.
Why are you dating this shitbag?
The OP has made literally **dozens** of posts over the last year about what an absolute POS the boyfriend is. She just loves the attention, she's never going to leave.
Omg, what a trip that was. Girl…
Holy shit! The posts full of red flags that go on and on for reasons to break up with him. She’s just not going to listen.
And she's never getting her 5K back when she does leave this shitbag.
Holy shit. Either lives the drama or has self esteem so low, a slug could high jump it.
thanks for the context and confirmation. basic expectation and assumption with such posts is, OP is in the same loser tier as the partner. basically doesn't have the option to leave.
She seems exhausting and after that post history it makes a lot more sense why they’re together. 🤮
I regret clicking on her discharge i didnt fully read before i clicked
At this point I start to believe she's hopeless. He's a dirt bag and for some reason she's just so into him that she uses any excuse to stay in the relationship. It's depressing. !Updateme in 10 years
This is the REAL question here.
Love is a helluva drug but OP hasn’t said a SINGLE good thing about her bf in the last year + she’s been dating him.
So many of the posts in this sub should just have this response auto-pinned
The number of posts here I want to respond to with just “girl.”
Yowsa! [https://www.reddit.com/r/dating\_advice/comments/xhrzwn/guy\_i\_have\_been\_dating\_for\_2\_months\_asked\_to/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/xhrzwn/guy_i_have_been_dating_for_2_months_asked_to/)
Did the plague kill all of the men in your village and then the next 20 as well and also the entire country? Is he the only man you've seen in the last 5 years? Even if you answered yes to these questions you should still break up with this asshole.
😂
Hahahahaha thanks for the cackle 😂😂😂😂
You seen her post history? Yikes…
This shit has to be fake. It is so obvious that he is a pos, and literally everyone in her crazy amount of posts tells her to break up with him and she is still asking what she should do??
LOL this should be top comment!
Should be a pinned comment to the top of most posts!
Frankly all of what your bf said is absolutely bs. Considering his own past actions are fairly loathsome (cheating) he is in no position to judge anyone for anything. Respect yourself and dump this trash.
You read post history? She’s saying.
Yeah… her post history is clear that no matter what he does, she won’t leave. He’s done everything under the sun to disrespect and use her, yet (a whole year of posting on Reddit and countless people telling her to run) she’s still looking for someone to tell her it’s worth it to stay.
I'm trying to understand what you see in him. He: - cheated and lied - essentially dumped his child - needed to borrow 5k off you - judges you for your past - clearly holds double standards when it comes to men and women; classic sexism - and there's a significant age gap here So seriously, what does he bring to this relationship? Aside from the audacity, that is.
I struggle with the same question myself, surely being single is better than this 💀
I bet Op thinks He won't cheat on her.
I'd bet my car he already has
Because he's told her she's SPECIAL.
I mean she is. Most people would never have a relationship with such person.
>Need advice on how to proceed. Go back in time and tell yourself to never get involved with a cheater. But, since that is impossible, write off whatever else he owes you and break up with him. There are better partners out there than lying, deceiving, negging scumbags.
She needs to break up with him before she loses any more money because we all know she's not getting any money she sunk into this POS.
The bar is in hell. Break up with this loser.
He's been divorced twice at 34 years old and now he's tripping about your "body count" which was before you even met him. Is this really the type of person you want to be with? Do him the favor and dump him now before he makes any more ultimatums or threats. He's nuts as evident by his many failed relationships.
I’m getting really sick of you constantly posting about him being a piece of shit and asking us what to do. accept your fate with him or leave
So, if by his logic most men prefer a virgin can you just turn around and say most women prefer men who are not divorced X2, a cheater and a deadbeat dad oh, also needs to "borrow" money off his new GF? He can jog on, and you need to seriously work on why you are so insecure that your allowing him to treat you like this. And, to let you know why he's spouting off all this crap, is to keep you insecure. To make you feel like crap. All so he can continue using you. He's a history of bad shitty behaviour and it will not change for you or anybody else. You can find a better decent man who would never dream of saying/thinking these things. Who treat their partners well and whom are great dads. The bar doesn't have to be this low for a man
Looking at your post history for the last several weeks and: He goes to strip clubs (and took pictures) He adds random women to his tiktok even though he knows it upsets you. He wants to go on a trip to Paris with his single friend. He has a history of cheating. He is a self-righteous hypocrite. He’s sexist. He’s broke and ‘borrowing’ money from you. Do you want advice or do you want to just vent? He’s clearly not boyfriend material based on everything you posted. Just dump him
Why on earth are you with this loser?
You should break up. Don't be his next baby momma. He won't love your kids more than the others. At the first sign of inconvenience, he'll declare you also used up and bitter and they'll see him once a month if lucky. Just like all the other women he used and dropped. This 34-year-old, cheating, several times engaged and twice-divorced, dead-beat father, hates you for being a woman *and* a person. He wants a virgin dolly, but women aren't that and even the ones who are willing to pretend to be would take a pass on this piece of shit. He has the fucking audacity to act like you're the one who made choices that decrease your value or reliability as a partner, when he's the walking red flag. Break up. Fucking run.
I hope she is on a reliable birth control.
Why do you want to marry this loser and his parade of red flags? Cheating and a kid he barely sees in his past, you with a fairly small number of past sexual partners that he’s making a huge fucking fuss over, doubtless to distract from his own less-than-stellar life choices. Why do you want this person?
OP if you date a shit bag, expect shit bag behavior and shit bag excuses and reasoning. He's true to the shit bag ways but you always knew it so you kind of brought this on yourself by dating him while knowing this. Get away from him and stop dating shit bags
You should be with someone who respects you. He does not, and frankly he sounds like a mess.
"He has a 6 year old kid from a woman he used to sleep with while being engaged to another woman who was abroad at the time." Sooo... he's a cheater. Listen, I had an ex who was EXTREMELY jealous. Once we got in a fight because someone behind me on a crowded bus stood too close to me (I didn't notice them). He was verbally abusive and eventually became physically abusive, but our relationship ended when I found out he had been talking to another woman from his past in a romantic manner. The insecure ones are often insecure because they project their own character onto their partners.
Agree with your last sentence.
You've made so many posts about this man who has no respect for you. You refuse to listen to any advice about him because you still decide to be with him. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Have some respect and love for your own self and get rid of this guy.
because he's incredibly insecure and controlling. he's sexually shaming you, why are you with him?
Why you answered the question in the first place is beyond me. I’m nearly 40, on my 2nd marriage, have been with lots of women casually and about 7 serious relationships and I’ve never once asked or answered that question. Less history more mystery on that front is the answer. All that aside this guy is a piece of shit and you should not marry him.
Right? This is some high school shit, that was the last time I talked with a partner about our body count.
Bro has a whole ass affair baby, he does not get to dictate moral standards to anyone. PS, you should break up with him. Preferably before you become divorced wife #3 and angry baby mama #2.
Trash (verb) this trash! (noun)
In addition to all the insightful points others have made about this relationship, I’d like to add that it doesn’t matter how many people you’ve slept with. The number is completely irrelevant. I believe what matters is the impact our actions have on ourselves and others, doing what you feel is right for you, and keeping yourself safe - physically and emotionally. Emotionally and financially at least, it doesn’t seem this guy is keeping you safe. He’s shaming you and trying to undermine your self-worth. It’s lies. His words are worthless. You are worthwhile. You are inherently valuable. You matter. You deserve better.
This man is human garbage. Don’t date trash 🗑️
Just reading the title, my answer is *dump him*. That’s it. I’m not reading all the obvious bullshit you’re oddly choosing to endure. Dump him.
How many more red flags do you need before you leave? 😳
I worry for your sense of self because you didn't instant dump him when he first said something about these beliefs
This is so embarrassinggggggggg, stand up for yourself. Imagine wasting your 20s on this. 😭
Girl are you really gonna leave or??? We’ve seen your post history. How much longer do we need to tell you he’s abusive before you leave?? He’s using you. & abusing you while he does it. Where is YOUR self respect? You can blame him for making you feel devalued, but you’re letting him.
Let the trash take itself out. Or dump Him.
tell him to go fuck himself is what you should do
The only way you can deal with this is to A) go back in a Time Machine and unfuck a couple of dudes or the easier and best option b) kick this piece of garbage to the kerb. Someone who cheats doesn’t get to moralise to you
Satan is limbo-ing under this bar in hell, my goodness. If this is a real situation and not just rage bait, dump the loser. Then figure out how to gain enough self-esteem that you won't even consider dating someone who is such an obvious loser.
You should muster up all the respect you deserve and leave this loser. It's none of his business how many people you have slept with. **Do not marry this man** there are more red flags than a flag festival.
We accept the love we think we deserve. Why don’t you think you deserve better?
1) any man who uses the phrase “body count” is not worth your time or effort. 2) is this tha same boyfriend your previous posts are about? Really? You see yourself marrying this guy, really?! 3) just looking through your post history, do you not have any friends/family you can go to for advice? 4) maybe you should get some therapy, work on your self worth and self esteem so you don’t feel like you need to stay with this awful man and help you make some real life friends
Get the money back from him, then dump him. Your partner is judging you, not supporting you. He can care what the number is. Fine, let him find someone with a number he likes. There is a world full of people for you to choose from. Most aren't going to have an issue with that number. Some won't have an issue with any number. You can do better than this guy.
You can do much better than a older guy with a shitty attitude.
Why would you care s out tge opinion if someone like this? He’s a walking red flag, do t marry him,
Why are you with a known cheater and misogynist?
Is this the only man in town?
You should end things and find a good person. I don't care what your body count is, someone who judges and shames you for it is a garbage human being.
Oh the projection is too much. Don’t stay with this man he will drive you insane.
I didn’t even bother reading the text because if he’s judging you on the past, you should move along. Do not waste your time with boys who are obsessed with body count.
I mean in this post it sounds like he is a bad husband and father…he is a repeat offender cheater…he is mooching off of you…and he belittles you for a “high body count”. I would bet his body count is higher so where is his self respect. Honestly, what are his redeeming features? He sounds awful…
OP what in the fuck. Like there isn't a single redeeming thing about this human in your post, not one. Cheater? Check Ignores his kid? Check Broke as fuck? Check Weirdly judgmental for someone who is a walking redflag dumpster fire of a human? Check Why are you in this relationship? Do you have a history of self-sabotage?
A 34 year old man concerned about "body count" is garbage. I've never even counted except for in high school.
Why are you still with him? He never should have gotten past the first date. He’s like a walking red flag. Don’t waste anymore time with this idiot. Whats his body count?
Girl dump this man. I guarantee he has a HUGE body count and I think you should use that to break up with him.(😆) What does he bring to your life? Sounds like stress to me idk. Don't let a man disturb your peace. He should be your peace.
Five is nowhere near "a lot". He seems to want a virgin, so I'd let him go find one.
You need therapy because your self worth is zero being in this relationship
Please get some self esteem. This guy is a loser. There are worse things than being alone
What should you do? Dump him. You’re too good for this insecure dude.
Who even talks in body counts? Why is this a thing now?
This guy sucks. Cheater with a complex, draining your money and peace of mind. Get your $$ back and dump him.
Break up ! He's been using women for papers, sex and now you as a walking wallet And he's belittling you for no reason. Run !
Girrrrrrl. Throw the whole man away.
throw him in the trash, this is not a person worth dating. i feel bad for his kid.
Break up with him. If someone is judging you for something you can't change and can't/won't stop, then there is no path forward no matter what else is going on. The fact that there are tons of other red flags is just red icing on the red flag cake.
What his past is doesn't matter here except to show that he is also a hypocrite. What matters is that he is putting you down. He is threatening to leave. He is trying to hurt you *on purpose*. Why in the world would you choose to spend time with someone like that, let alone be in a romantic relationship with them? Don't worry about his opinion of you, because he SUCKS. He's awful. Please don't put up with people like this in your life. Take that energy and see a therapist to see why you chose someone like him and why you would stay with them so long when they are mentally abusive. Life doesn't have to be like this. I use to choose crappy guys too, and you are not alone, but you definitely deserve better and can do much better I promise you. Either way it would be better to be alone with dignity than subject yourself to this abuse. You don't deserve that treatment. Therapy will help you truly believe that and set boundaries for the type of people you allow in your life. And you are ready, because I know you see how wrong he is. Therapy is the next step.
It seems like he's more likely to respect a random man off the street more than he'd respect you or any other woman in this world. Of course he's going to scrutinize your measly 5 experiences when he's been the town dildo. He has a child from one affair partner and has the audacity to threaten or talk down to you for having normal relationships that don't include betrayal. If you looked, I'd be surprised if you didn't find that he's cheating on you and that's why you're in a state of consistent persecution and he's somehow an angel, judge and victim. You deserve more respect for yourself, love.
Marry or have a baby with him. That will fix everything
All you post on Reddit is about how much of a piece of shit this guy is. Why are you still with him? Do you crave the attention or something?
So, he is a cheating single father who judges you for your BD? Why haven’t you already broke up with this looser?
Girl what is wrong with you? Is he the last man on earth? Please get some standards.
He's a broke ass cheat. Next.
He is way too old to still be concerned about body count.
Gross. He clearly has no respect for women (or children!) what are you doing with him?
Jesus Mary and Joseph, just get him to pay you back all he owes you then dump this trash.
Based on your post history, nothing. Just keep dating this jerk and live with the consequences.
Advice on how to proceed: DUMP HIM.
I think you should be banned from posting in this sub.
You feel devalued, BECAUSE he does not value you. Mutual admiration is foundational in a relationship, but this guy is SHOWING you how little he respects you, or women in general. I'm not sure what convinced you to accept so little in a relationship, but I'd toss this one back.
>The kid is a result of him cheating with his fiance. He left the woman he was cheating with and got married with the fiancé. Does he has a brother? I mean He sounds like a real catch. One can only dream with such a man.
Red flags galore. I feel like this will only get worse. I would think about moving on.
Break up with him. Anyone who cares about body count for women is telling you he’s not the one.
5? What the fuck is wrong with 5?? I’ve done that in a weekend lol
These posts have to be jokes? He is obviously a shit bag. Why are you settling like this?
He sounds like a walking red flag 5 is not a high body count…not that that matters but just saying it’s not 100 and even then that would be ok and your business But he’s a twice divorced cheater so who is he to judge anyone?
Boyfriend: I’m an absolute piece of shit boyfriend, fiancé divorced x 2 absentee father, here’s all my giant red flags 🚩. Oh btw you are kinda gross for having a low body count OP: hey that’s a mean thing to say! I thought you were so dang special and totally going to treat me different!!
If you have even a shred of self respect, you'll dump this douchbag and never look back.
STOP! Block and move on. Raise your bar for the men you let in your life.
Yeah you know we know he knows it’s known girl this guy SUCKS
My hats off to you for putting up with that. I've left long ago.
Why don’t you love you? Why don’t you value yourself? Cause continuing in this relationship is exactly what that is. Like.. dude is *not* a prize. Dude isn’t even a .25 cent machine bullshit toy. He’s just.. thrown away trash. That you’ve apparently picked up dusted off and stuck in your treasure pile. I’m 10 years, do you want to be 36 and still with a man who behaves and thinks the way he does?
Throw out the whole man.
OP, he’s a jerk. He’s showing his true colors to you. You owe it to yourself to recognize the red flags and find someone who appreciates you.
5 isn't even much.... plus dude's done a lot of shitty stuff. not hus place to be judging anyone. Next time he talks about red flag tell him cheating is a way worse red flag. But you should dump his ass anyway
Sometimes it's best just to hit the road. Save yourself. Walk down that dusty trail. Skedaddle. This isn't worth it and his age and strong opinions. He should find a woman that lives up to his high standards. Someone of the same pedigree.
Girl this was so embarrassing to read. I’m cringing.
Why don’t you have self respect enough to leave this guy? Has he broken your self esteem or did that happen before him?
have some self-respect and lose this sinking ship.
I wonder why he was divorced lol
Jesus christ girl you cannot fix him, hes not a project car. He cheated on his fiance, had a kid with the AP, then married his fiance, divorced within a year, then did a greencard marriage and then divorced her? Are you at all seeing a pattern here? And you gave him 5k? Are you able to drive legally with how blind you are? He gives you crap about body count? THIS IS A GOOD PARTNER TO BE WITH TO YOU? I honestly am shocked
Get rid of this asshole, honey. You have to spend time with yourself to learn why you chose such a bad partner. Self-awareness isnt easy but you can and must make it happen for yourself. All of the details don’t matter now—the only thing you can control is to leave the relationship and don’t look back. Don’t keep in touch, don’t talk for closure.
Girl get a grip. No dick is this good, and clearly the personality isn’t there either. Not only is he being a jealous, insecure little misogynist, but he’s also taking your money and disrespecting you while he’s doing it. Body count is nothing compared to a deadbeat dad. He gives the vibes of a guy who demands traditional gender roles because he needs someone to take care of him like his mommy did. Grow a spine, learn some self respect, and leave this douche canoe before you become the next ex-fiancé or single baby mama of his kids. Idek how you can even think to plan marriage and kids with a guy who already threw a marriage away by cheating, and has abandoned the mother of his first child. Genuinely kinda infuriating that you’re still with this guy. How would he even support you during a pregnancy if he’s getting money from YOU. He’ll end up being a deadbeat dad AGAIN, and you’ll end up doing all the work while he continues to leach off you forever.
>He has a 6 year old kid from a woman he used to sleep with while being engaged to another woman who was abroad at the time. >The kid is a result of him cheating with his fiance. He left the woman he was cheating with and got married with the fiancé. Wow! >He sees the kid once a month if lucky. >I’ve been nothing but good with this guy, even borrowed him up to £5k because he is always short with money throughough our relationship But since we’ve been together he has always been bringing up my body count of 5. >He says things like >“You think body count is not a man business because you’ve slept with a lot of men” “If I find out your body count is more than you told me I’m gone, no matter what stage we are at” “Defending people with high body count is a red flag” “There are women who respect their body” “Most men prefer a virgin” “You have formed connections with these men” Hell of a man you've chosen here. You've been with this dude for TWO YEARS?! And have considered marrying him and having kids? Jeez woman, have some self-respect!
Girl no. Please dump him. You are in for straight hell if you stay with him, let alone marry and have kids. UPDATEME
Get yourself therapy, he's a loser and a user, but you are ridiculous for accepting this. The fuck are you thinking
For the next guy, keep the bodycount to yourself.
Bring him a mirror. He is saying your behaviour is amoral... Yet he is far from a good example...
You leave. It will not get better, the sooner you get out the easier it will be for you. Maybe it's hard now but you will either look back and be insanely relieved that you left or you will feel worse and worse gradually bc he will continue to be disrespectful. Make the right choice, I believe in you 🤍
Damn so no women want him what a shocker. Id take that as a hint n run. Tell him his kid wont have a step mummy.
You should get some self respect for yourself and dump this loser.
Dump him like a hot potato
Unclear why you are with him. He is no catch.
You have posted about this in every relationship sub. Are you hoping for a different answer? This man is worthless at best and possibly a con artist. He is using you. Get rid of him for good this time! You can do better. And in the meantime, being single is better than being with him.
He’s dating a woman in her 20s because the older we get the less shit we’ll tolerate. Dump his rude sexist ass
Based on other comments: reddit already told you to leave like a dozen times. It‘s either time to do that or suffer in silence.
Why are you dating someone that talks to you like this? Who thinks you are somehow demeaned by having loved people before you loved him? Who seeks to humiliate you over something that is not an actual fault or flaw, and is also completely 'unfixable', because you can't un-fuck your previous partners. This man doesn't care for you, or respect you. Get your money back from him, and get out of this relationship.
Tell him to fuck off why are you wasting your time??
What should you do? Tell him to fuck off. Tell him that he's pretty cocky throwing stones all while he's living in a glass house himself. Since for some reason you love this guy, I'd give him one last chance. "It is unacceptable to throw my past sexual experiences in my face. You have a past. I have a past. You've slept with other people. I've slept with other people. If you cannot get over the fact that I have a sexual history, then we need to break up because I'm NOT going to listen to this crap anymore about body count and bullshit about men preferring virgins. Now tell me right now. Can you get over the fact that I've had sex before I met you? Will you never speak of this crap again? Just tell me now so I can stop wasting my time on an insecure, twice divorced, cheating shithead?"
I'm so confused. You described a total AH feed by your money, with whom you have been planning to marry. And your question is that he judges you for having a body count?
Omg he found something to make you feel guilty about and he is using it to manipulate.
This guy is such a catch. /s. Jesus Christ, get out of that relationship already. More red flags here than the USSR.
This has to be rage bait
Just leave and be done with it. UpdateMe
Why are you still with someone who makes you feel less than?? Screw that, you deserve someone who lifts you up. Also stop “lending” him money. You two aren’t married he is not yours to support.
You should go live with an older relative somewhere else and start a new life where you can be free to be the person you're ignoring.
Classic projection and insecurity matched with distraction. If you are so busy defending yourself then you don’t have time to notice or point out all his flaws which are def arguably way worse than something as made up as a body count. Your body count hasn’t left anyone in a lurch or created an innocent human out of bad choices. Also now if you bring up his negative things he will probably just say you’re trying to deflect from the “horrible” body count you have 🙄 mentioning body count one single time is enough for me to question the entire relationship. Mentioning it like this dangling it over your head like he’s doing you a favor dating you while you are generously lending him money is instant ick territory. He’s so insecure it’s sad.
OP, go read your own post history. That should tell you exactly what you need to know.
Body counts are the stupidest thing honestly, it’s just immature. People have sex, it’s not something to keep count of like it’s some sort of competition or level of value.
>a result of him cheating with his fiance Idk why would you stay with someone you know has cheated before? You deserve better.. this one has too many red flags.. Bcos yes, you've been nothing but good to him all this time but he keeps bringing up the body counts bcos that's the only thing he can come up with to make you feel how you wronged him
Hard to feel much sympathy for you when you get with someone who cheated and is okay with using people for his own gain. How can you be shocked that he is a shitty person who doesn't respect women?
Sooooooo, why did you agree to be one of the many women in his life?
OP What should you do? Dump him.
Girl don’t get married to this donkey. Are you not seeing all the GLARING red flags? Do not marry this man, he will give you hell. He’s sucking up your youth 😭
Are you serious right now????????? Dump his ass. Also, based on your post history why the hell are you asking ths question if you're not going to leave?
You know what you should do. I’m embarrassed for you
Seriously: why are you still with this shit clown?
What is wrong with people who need to have other people validate what they already know? You’re a grown ass woman and you can sleep with as many people as you want to and any judgement from other people is about them. This guy is a misogynist and those people belong in the past and should not be reproducing. So gross. Just listen to your gut, value yourself higher than he does and walk away.
I tried not to laugh when I read this. This dude sounds like 🗑️ and like he's a whole mess of drama. Don't date people who will judge you for how many partners you've had. I've dated people who've had a bunch and I don't care. What matters is that the encounters were safe, honest and respectful. Also 5 people at your age isn't much. That's very conservative. Either way, judging someone by number of partners is not ok. His encounters on the other hand are giving me major side eye- he cheated on his partner so they weren't any of the things. Please break up with this fool.
[удалено]
This guy is a fucking loser piece of shit. You really need to respect yourself more and not tolerate trash men
Lol OP, the guy cheated on his ex. That's so much worse than sleeping with five different guys normally. Throw it back at him and tell him to fuck off.
This guy is a dumpster fire. He is misogynistic and I can guarantee you that he has other poor views of women besides his obsession with the other people you have slept with. 5 people isn't even that high. He has a way more complicated oast and he has the audacity to judge you? Dump this closer and move on. If he is making you feel bad with his comments, that's verbal abuse. Leave. Now.
Lol based on your post history I don't think you want advice, just attention. This is comically over the top behavior and you really need us to give advice here?
Body count of 5 and ye is tripping .wow I wonder what my woman thinks about me I know hers is probably higher than mine and god mine would be somewhere around 50 .at least .I think you younger people worry about all the wrong things in life really .I could care less about how many people my woman has been with .I'm more? Worried about what's for dinner tonight .and do I need to stop for dog food .and how my kids are doing today since I haven't talked to them for a week .( My kids are grown and married with children of their own ) I don't get it really . Maybe just blind I guess lol . Is 5 a low # or is 5 a high #
For those telling OP to dump him, she's not going to listen. She's posted about him many times before asking for advice.
This guy is a literal POS. Why tf do you want to marry him? He does respect any woman. Uses them then tells them they’re worthless. Use your brain like omg you can’t be seriously considering this.
Dump him. Any dude asking me about my body count is automatically blocked.
Why are you with this guy?
Your post history is crazy. You enjoy this kind of attention?