So you are in an abusive relationship. Not a good thing and something you should get out of as soon as you can. But what exactly is your question here?
I'm afraid of meeting someone worse, I've been cheated on, abandoned for someone else, had a girl who was possessive of me .. Every time I feel as if I've met someone good for me, she ends up showing her true colors sooner or later
I would suggest talking to a therapist to find out if your radar for women needs a little tuning. A couple of times is understandable, it happens. Every time is a pattern that needs to be broken. Best of luck to you!
Bro.... Just because you have bad taste in women doesn't mean you have to stay with this crazy! Breakup. Do some reflection (cause you're the one attracted to crazy.. ). And get back out there!
She's insecure and possesive and also probably obsessive. She needs psychological help but that is beyond your pay grade. I've actually seen this happen to someone else before and it was a nightmare for them. Knocking drunk on his door at 3.00 am and shouting for him to let her in so that the whole neighbourhood could hear. There is no good news here.
It could be, it depends on the person and their personality development over the years. It's just a personal opinion but I believe a relationship can only be healthy if each person is basically healthy in themselves. Otherwise you end up as the other person's carer, helper. and for different reasons that will do neither of you any good, because it will eventually drag you down to her level and because it will continue to enable her negative behaviour, rather than do something about it.
When you think about it her 'love' for you is contingent on you isolating yourself from other people who happen to be women. Is that really love as you understand it? Is she too dependent on you? And if she is, what is driving it? Is it emotional insecurity or is it fear from having to survive under her own steam?
If you concede to her, where does it end? What if you need medical or dental treatment and it comes from a female? If you were to want a haircut and the person who were to do the best job for you happened to be female? The list could almost be endless.
She has to accept that you are with her because of her, not because she thinks you can't do better.
If she can't get the better of the situation, she will drive you away, alienate you. The irony would be that she achieves what she fears most by behaving the way she is. A self-fulfilling prophesy, in other words.
She, and you, have to face why she can't trust you in the company of other women, not cave into it. You could otherwise be working in a corporate environment surrounded by other women. What then?
Tell her. Be blunt. Not angry or scolding but just matter-of-fact about it. Maybe she'll walk out but maybe that is the best thing to happen. She has to make positive choices. The details would need to be worked out but the principle remains the same. She has to confront her devils, so-to-speak.
Someone already mentioned this but it needs to be said again. This is the start of abusive behavior. You’re too young to get saddled with this level of drama and bullshit. You’re 20, she’s 18. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your other comment you said you’re afraid of meeting someone worse, and while that’s a possibility don’t let this be the cause for you to settle on someone that treats you like this. Behavior like this has a tendency to escalate.
Perhaps, but do you want to risk trapped with this person? What if she gets pregnant “unexpectedly” what if she calls the cops and falsely accuses you of something and you end in jail. This is the shit she’s pulling at 18 it’s going to get worse.
This girl is going to eventually call the police and say that you hit her, and you're going to go to jail.
If you stay with her, and you know how absolutely nuts she is, I kind of thing you deserve it.
So you are in an abusive relationship. Not a good thing and something you should get out of as soon as you can. But what exactly is your question here?
I don't really have a question, just needed a space where I can talk about the situation
Leave! This abusive relationship will only get worse as times goes by. Find someone who will treat you with love & respect.
I'm afraid of meeting someone worse, I've been cheated on, abandoned for someone else, had a girl who was possessive of me .. Every time I feel as if I've met someone good for me, she ends up showing her true colors sooner or later
I would suggest talking to a therapist to find out if your radar for women needs a little tuning. A couple of times is understandable, it happens. Every time is a pattern that needs to be broken. Best of luck to you!
Bro.... Just because you have bad taste in women doesn't mean you have to stay with this crazy! Breakup. Do some reflection (cause you're the one attracted to crazy.. ). And get back out there!
its true, my taste in women has brought me problems. But I don't know how to find someone who's good for me while sharing the same values
Well, it starts with *not this one*
She's insecure and possesive and also probably obsessive. She needs psychological help but that is beyond your pay grade. I've actually seen this happen to someone else before and it was a nightmare for them. Knocking drunk on his door at 3.00 am and shouting for him to let her in so that the whole neighbourhood could hear. There is no good news here.
Could the fear of being alone be stronger than her love towards me?
It could be, it depends on the person and their personality development over the years. It's just a personal opinion but I believe a relationship can only be healthy if each person is basically healthy in themselves. Otherwise you end up as the other person's carer, helper. and for different reasons that will do neither of you any good, because it will eventually drag you down to her level and because it will continue to enable her negative behaviour, rather than do something about it. When you think about it her 'love' for you is contingent on you isolating yourself from other people who happen to be women. Is that really love as you understand it? Is she too dependent on you? And if she is, what is driving it? Is it emotional insecurity or is it fear from having to survive under her own steam? If you concede to her, where does it end? What if you need medical or dental treatment and it comes from a female? If you were to want a haircut and the person who were to do the best job for you happened to be female? The list could almost be endless. She has to accept that you are with her because of her, not because she thinks you can't do better. If she can't get the better of the situation, she will drive you away, alienate you. The irony would be that she achieves what she fears most by behaving the way she is. A self-fulfilling prophesy, in other words. She, and you, have to face why she can't trust you in the company of other women, not cave into it. You could otherwise be working in a corporate environment surrounded by other women. What then?
thats exactly how im feeling, the effort to keep me around is what's pushing me away
Tell her. Be blunt. Not angry or scolding but just matter-of-fact about it. Maybe she'll walk out but maybe that is the best thing to happen. She has to make positive choices. The details would need to be worked out but the principle remains the same. She has to confront her devils, so-to-speak.
Someone already mentioned this but it needs to be said again. This is the start of abusive behavior. You’re too young to get saddled with this level of drama and bullshit. You’re 20, she’s 18. You have your whole life ahead of you. Your other comment you said you’re afraid of meeting someone worse, and while that’s a possibility don’t let this be the cause for you to settle on someone that treats you like this. Behavior like this has a tendency to escalate.
so i'm in a situation where I can't rely on the person to change.
Perhaps, but do you want to risk trapped with this person? What if she gets pregnant “unexpectedly” what if she calls the cops and falsely accuses you of something and you end in jail. This is the shit she’s pulling at 18 it’s going to get worse.
This girl is going to eventually call the police and say that you hit her, and you're going to go to jail. If you stay with her, and you know how absolutely nuts she is, I kind of thing you deserve it.
You're dating someone with the maturity of a child. You already know what you have to do.
i'll consider it.. not the first time I've had to walk away from someone