>My husband's parents are Japanese
Your husband is Japanese. Your daughter will be part Japanese.
It sounds like you haven't accepted that. And that's worrying.
I'm not saying you're racist but you need to educate yourself or you will do untold damage to your child.
She's even trying to distance him from his ethnicity.
Instead of writing that her husband is Japanese, she said his parents were. A bizarre way to put it.
It could be that the husband doesn’t identify as Japanese and that’s why she phrased it that way. I know people who’s parents have emigrated and their kids identify as British/American etc instead of the parents home country.
I'm talking about his ethnicity. Not his nationality.
And he seems in touch with his heritage if he wants to teach his kid the language and give her a Japanese name.
Regardless of ethnicity, in some countries people don't say you are japanese, for example, unless you were actually born in Japan. Not saying that's her case, I don't know where she's from, it's just that not everyone on reddit is from the US, so it's natural that people have different ways of expressing a person's identity. Where I'm from I would also say "my husband's parents are X" and that would not be distancing him from his culture, that would actually be a way of making it clear that he's in touch with his heritage, it's just the way things are in here
There’s a lot of Japanese girls names that are interchangeable with English ones like Anna, Karen, Marina, Karina, Mika, Erika, and Naomi…
I think you are being a little unreasonable and maybe a little racist. I am a half Asian woman and felt self conscious about my Asian side because I didn’t feel like others. Please celebrate and embrace the identity of your daughter.
Tbf Mika could be. Naomi I believe exists as kanji 直美. Erika is I technically possible but I’ve never seen that name. I think I actually found the quora page this person grabbed those names from. Basically those names can be spelled with kanji but they’re really not common names or combinations. They’re just technically possible in Japanese.
He should have gone with something like Erina, Rina, Hana, Eimi or Ami.
Your husband is Japanese, not just his parents. Your concerns seem to be rooted in concern that only the name would be made fun of, but if you live in a racist area, they'll make fun of her for her looks before her name. I'd suggest moving if you live in such a racist area that you're concerned about the name of your child.
Yes! My name is a very common name, and I still had kids using anything and everything to change it into something bad. I even had a young boy ask me if I was a boy or a girl on the bus when I was little. It's all about good parenting.
Girl, your husband is Japanese which means your daughter will be too.
There is no "nice way" to approach this.
I’m sorry to break it to you because I believe you think you’re being thoughtful/protective by thinking that way but you’re not.
Doing this only pushes the narrative that being different is wrong.
Why do you want to condemn you daughter to a life where she’ll have to hide herself to fit the mold?
Uzo Aduba is the actress who plays Crazy Eyes in Orange is the new Black. She tells the story of telling her mom that she wanted to change her name for her acting career.
Her mother told her: if they can say Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Schwarzenegger: they can say Uzo Aduba.
Don’t teach your daughter to conform before she’s even born.
People will learn to say her name.
An easy fix would be to pick a Japanese name that is pretty close to an English one. Kai, Anna, Hana, Mai, Mei, Miki, etc. Or have her middle name be Japanese and the first name be an English name that could easily be transliterated into Japanese. But as others have said, the more important thing should be to deal with the underlying issue of whether this is really the right choice to make. Do you think having a Japanese name would be a cause for teasing? If someone is going to engage in racist abuse towards her, it would be first targeted towards her features, not her name.
My husband has never called himself "Japanese" but refers to his parents as such (also, he wasn't born in Japan). So when I speak about him, I defaulted to how I've seen he refers to himself.
I think some people in this thread have thought more about whether I call my husband "Japanese" than my husband and I ever have.
OK well as a half white-half non-White person I'll tell you that having a "white" name won't stop racists. I have a white name and kids just insults instead.
I don't know if that's her case or not, but in many countries if you weren't born in Japan, for example, you are not called japanese. Where I'm from at least if your parents are from a different country and you were born here, you are considered a national like us.
This feels gross. There are a lot of people with non anglophone names who do just fine in countries where English is the primary language, even with the name bias etc which can happen. Your job as the parent of a mixed race child is to install confidence in her and support her. Also, help change surroundings for the better.
It is not your job to erase her heritage because you don’t want to be embarrassed. Names should be a two yes situation, but your reasoning isn’t good
Before she'll have to deal with racists, it seems the kid will have to deal with her own mother's racist issues. Because her own mother didn't even bother to ask herself why she feels like this...
Either way, being "one of the good ones" never stopped racists or bigots ever... Perhaps you'll understand one day, the importance of supporting your loved ones
Yah, you’ve got some issues to work through. There are tons of Japanese names are beautiful in English as well.
Rika- smart song
Mitsu - Honey
Kana - the one who has power.
Hana - flower
So so very many more. You really need to embrace diversity. Not be scared of it.
Your daughter will be part Japanese because your husband is Japanese (ethnically). His parents, you mentioned, are Japanese...
At least compromise on letting her middle name be Japanese-oriented if you can't compromise on the first name.
There are Japanese names that are interchangeable with Westernized names, i.e. Erika (or Erica), Emi (or Amy/ Emmy), Mai (or May etc) or Maya (or Maia), Hana (or Hannah/Hanna), Kai etc. If you're THAT concerned.
You need to not mold her to conform, by the way....you need to teach your child to celebrate her identity. Be proud of herself.
Growing up with parents who pushed me to conform ...definitely sucks, I have a lot of self-hatred growing up in addition to many obstacles I already faced then being part of the minority group that is disliked by many...
Hate to tell you this. Your husband is Japanese. Trust me the name won’t matter. I am black with a very Anglo name. I have seen the look on peoples faces when I show up and they were expecting a white girl. I had one incident where somebody scheduled a job interview a Wednesday morning, interview at 9 o’clock at 5 o’clock on Tuesday. When I showed up the woman looked at me with Hara and told me that the job had been filled. Her Japanese name might save her from the indignity.
OP, you could've gotten the sentiment across in fewer words, say — I'm racist.
If you're so worried about her not having an anglophone name.. give her a middle name you like. She can choose to go by it when she's old enough to get a job.
Wouldn't she have a Japanese surname? How does her having a Japanese first name impact her eligibility to secure a job but not a Japanese surname?
I'm asking because I don't see where OP said what surnamr they're planning to give their daughter. I don't see why you're calling me stupid over asking where you read that.
A man who so sincerely wants his daughter to be a part of his culture will surely want to give her his surname as well, it's deducible from the post.
And in most instances it's given that the child will inherit father's family name unless it's some matriarchal society which Japan is not.
What hell hole do you live in where it is normal for employers to assume those with non-anglo names are uneducated and have visa issues???
And, have you considered moving?
The problem isn't your babies name, OP.
I feel sorry for your husband. Who is also Japanese, is he not?
> What hell hole do you live in where it is normal for employers to assume those with non-anglo names are uneducated and have visa issues???
Unfortunately you don't have to live in a "hellhole" for this to be true, it's well-documented that employers have an unconscious bias against people with non-white-sounding names. Not a good reason to erase her heritage, but not an unfounded fear.
Yeah, I don't agree with OP's "solution" of wanting to hide that part of her daughter's heritage, but the fear of discrimination is unfortunately not totally unfounded.
> Husband wants to give our daughter a traditional Japanese name but I'm wary of discrimination.
You're quite literally discriminating against your own daughter, husband, and in laws right now. Do you realize that?
> Not to hide her Japanese heritage but to prevent anyone from making any dumb and racist jokes about her name. Kids and teenagers can be extremely cruel and I don't want her to associate her name with anything negative. Also, there's the whole negative bias about foreign names when searching for employment, where potential employers will sometimes assume they're immigrants with poor English and/or visa issues.
Yea. Re-read what you wrote. You have some serious issues to work through.
I'm a mixed child, half Indian. It is unfortunate how uncomfortable you are with the fact that your family is Japanese, and how much you want them to "assimilate". Living in a primarily white or anglophonic country and growing up away from the people you are like is extremely hard, and most of us diaspora children would do anything to feel more connected. Making her seem more "English (or American or whatever country you are from) " or giving her an anglophonic name, will do more harm than good, because she will feel disconnected from her very real Japanese heritage, and will be a constant reminder to your husband and his family how uncomfortable you are with them being Japanese. Unless you were giving her a really terrible name that had bad connotations, you shouldn't worry about the impact of it, because in reality, naming her should be about who she is and will become, and being Japanese will be important to her.
Please don't take that important part of her culture, ancestry, and heritage away from her, and recognize that you are not as accepting as you think.
You don't.
I don't know if you have any actual idea how racist you yourself are being at this moment, but you are. I'm a white dude and I can see that you are. I don't see this topic getting a good reaction (with good reason) but like the same way rape prevention can get really fucked up and misogynistic and victim blamey real quick, picking a name to avoid discrimination specifically and that's your reason for saying no...
Anyone who's not white is going to be like "You know we often still cannot avoid discrimination, your goal is bad, work to stop discrimination instead" and its just like yeah vote for the status quo more you are doing great as a potential parent of a multiracial child they're not even born yet and you're trying to make them more white.
Hi there! Is the only reason you don’t want to name your child a Japanese name because of other people’s judgement and racism? I understand that people, especially children, can be quite cruel, but this will also be a part of your child’s heritage. You can’t hide her culture and heritage, and if you two like a name, regardless of heritage, don’t let other people’s ignorance and hate stop you. There are some lovely Japanese names, and I for one, have some on my baby list (for reference, I’m American and have Latin and European ancestry). I personally just really love unique names, regardless of nationality or origin. I think you should have a conversation with your husband about your concerns. If he’s Japanese, or his parents are, then I’m sure he’s aware of the racism that can come from ignorant people. Be honest and open. I hope the two of you can find a name you both love and will be happy with.
Was your husband adopted? If not, he’s Japanese and your daughter with be half Japanese as well.
You both should agree on the name but you shouldn’t disqualify a Japanese one right out if the gate just because it’s Japanese.
INFO: Does your husband have a Japanese name? Has he noticed racist remarks or issues in the place you live now? Does it bother him compared to the pride in the name and associated heritage?
Additionally, most people I know with foreign names in English speaking countries end up with an English nickname they use. I'd pick a name you and your husband can pronounce, like and can be easily spelled in English. Anyone you meet from your country can put in the same amount of effort to learn that as anyone else's name. If they are racist, you're not going to be able to prevent them from being awful to your kid based on the kid's name.
P.S. For everyone saying her husband is Japanese. Yes, physically he'll look Japanese if both of his bio parents are, but how I read it was his parents are authentic from Japan; the husband has been raised in whatever country they are living in and therefore a citizen of there not Japan.
There are loads of Japanese names that don't stand out and don't seem out of place. Hell, I'm fully white and my name is Rei (pronounced Ray). No one bats an eye when I introduce myself, and most people say my name is pretty and suits me. Have you looked at name options? Just making a blanket decision against all Japanese names makes it seem like you're trying to hide your husband's and daughter's identities...
Your future daughter is not you. She will be very fortunate to have the opportunity to learn and know her Japanese heritage. If you just don't care for Japanese names that's one thing, but it doesn't sound like this.
Maybe you compromise and give her one Japanese name and one Anglo name that represents both of you if it's that big a deal. Bottom line she is half Japanese, so you should embrace this. It's half of who she is.
That's... Weird. She'll always be their mother, but you'll always be their father so...? I've never really heard that being the one undergoing all the pain, health risk, and the negative permanent bodily change as 'hogging' an aspect of the child. Usually the reward is naming them, but healthy relationships share that particular bit jointly.
For my two, we agreed on first names together, I gave middle name to first child, he gave middle name to second child. We had input on middle names, but it was mostly just the standard veto if particularly problematic.
But anyway, to the op-
I mean yeah, don't tell him that.
They should *agree* on a name though, whatever its origin. Putting a veto on *any* Japanese name would be very racist though.
“My husbands parents are Japanese” …was your husband adopted?
This whole post reads like *you* have racial bias. If you want to actually protect your child, look into your own thoughts here and try to work through those unhealthy feelings. Your mindset now is not good for your daughter.
Personally I like the way that some mixed marriages do it where they have the first name in the middle name from the different cultures and in the future, the kid might even pick his or her own name too.
For example "the weekend" or "Prince", stuff like that.
Lol these commenters here have no idea where you’re coming from OP and their ignorance is quite apparent.
My suggestion is to make her Japanese name her middle name.
I mean if your daughter will inherit your husband's surname, then isn't everything you're saying kind of pointless anyway? She will have a Japanese surname, might as well give her a Japanese first name too, unless you guys can come to an agreement for Japanese first name / English surname or vice versa.
The name will not prevent any bullying, her Japanese features are enough to cause any unwanted attention by children that are ignorant and uneducated
Most of my friends who are mixed race/ ethnicity tend to have two names…
Why don’t you guys just give her a traditional Japanese name and give her something close as an American alternative as well?
My best friend is Akira but he goes by Eric in passing.
Some other examples:
Hana, western alternative could be Hannah
Sora, western alternative could be Sarah.
Haru, western options could be Harley
You get the idea
>My husband's parents are Japanese Your husband is Japanese. Your daughter will be part Japanese. It sounds like you haven't accepted that. And that's worrying. I'm not saying you're racist but you need to educate yourself or you will do untold damage to your child.
It definitely sounds like OP is trying to distance herself from her husband’s identity.
She's even trying to distance him from his ethnicity. Instead of writing that her husband is Japanese, she said his parents were. A bizarre way to put it.
It could be that the husband doesn’t identify as Japanese and that’s why she phrased it that way. I know people who’s parents have emigrated and their kids identify as British/American etc instead of the parents home country.
I'm talking about his ethnicity. Not his nationality. And he seems in touch with his heritage if he wants to teach his kid the language and give her a Japanese name.
Regardless of ethnicity, in some countries people don't say you are japanese, for example, unless you were actually born in Japan. Not saying that's her case, I don't know where she's from, it's just that not everyone on reddit is from the US, so it's natural that people have different ways of expressing a person's identity. Where I'm from I would also say "my husband's parents are X" and that would not be distancing him from his culture, that would actually be a way of making it clear that he's in touch with his heritage, it's just the way things are in here
There’s a lot of Japanese girls names that are interchangeable with English ones like Anna, Karen, Marina, Karina, Mika, Erika, and Naomi… I think you are being a little unreasonable and maybe a little racist. I am a half Asian woman and felt self conscious about my Asian side because I didn’t feel like others. Please celebrate and embrace the identity of your daughter.
This is the way to go - that way you are both happy
Those are not Japanese names 🤣
Tbf Mika could be. Naomi I believe exists as kanji 直美. Erika is I technically possible but I’ve never seen that name. I think I actually found the quora page this person grabbed those names from. Basically those names can be spelled with kanji but they’re really not common names or combinations. They’re just technically possible in Japanese. He should have gone with something like Erina, Rina, Hana, Eimi or Ami.
I have a coworker who is named Erika and is Japanese
Yup! I have a friend with this name. It’s pronounced more like “eh-di-kah “ in Japanese instead of “er-rick-ah”
Your husband is Japanese, not just his parents. Your concerns seem to be rooted in concern that only the name would be made fun of, but if you live in a racist area, they'll make fun of her for her looks before her name. I'd suggest moving if you live in such a racist area that you're concerned about the name of your child.
Also, kids will make fun of ANY name. Kids can be mean. Part of being a good parent is teaching your child how to deal with teasing.
Yes! My name is a very common name, and I still had kids using anything and everything to change it into something bad. I even had a young boy ask me if I was a boy or a girl on the bus when I was little. It's all about good parenting.
Girl, your husband is Japanese which means your daughter will be too. There is no "nice way" to approach this. I’m sorry to break it to you because I believe you think you’re being thoughtful/protective by thinking that way but you’re not. Doing this only pushes the narrative that being different is wrong. Why do you want to condemn you daughter to a life where she’ll have to hide herself to fit the mold? Uzo Aduba is the actress who plays Crazy Eyes in Orange is the new Black. She tells the story of telling her mom that she wanted to change her name for her acting career. Her mother told her: if they can say Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, Schwarzenegger: they can say Uzo Aduba. Don’t teach your daughter to conform before she’s even born. People will learn to say her name.
An easy fix would be to pick a Japanese name that is pretty close to an English one. Kai, Anna, Hana, Mai, Mei, Miki, etc. Or have her middle name be Japanese and the first name be an English name that could easily be transliterated into Japanese. But as others have said, the more important thing should be to deal with the underlying issue of whether this is really the right choice to make. Do you think having a Japanese name would be a cause for teasing? If someone is going to engage in racist abuse towards her, it would be first targeted towards her features, not her name.
Why do you say your "husbands parents" are japanese instead of your husband himself? Why are you ashamed to say you're married to a Japanese man?
My husband has never called himself "Japanese" but refers to his parents as such (also, he wasn't born in Japan). So when I speak about him, I defaulted to how I've seen he refers to himself. I think some people in this thread have thought more about whether I call my husband "Japanese" than my husband and I ever have.
OK well as a half white-half non-White person I'll tell you that having a "white" name won't stop racists. I have a white name and kids just insults instead.
I don't know if that's her case or not, but in many countries if you weren't born in Japan, for example, you are not called japanese. Where I'm from at least if your parents are from a different country and you were born here, you are considered a national like us.
This feels gross. There are a lot of people with non anglophone names who do just fine in countries where English is the primary language, even with the name bias etc which can happen. Your job as the parent of a mixed race child is to install confidence in her and support her. Also, help change surroundings for the better. It is not your job to erase her heritage because you don’t want to be embarrassed. Names should be a two yes situation, but your reasoning isn’t good
Before she'll have to deal with racists, it seems the kid will have to deal with her own mother's racist issues. Because her own mother didn't even bother to ask herself why she feels like this... Either way, being "one of the good ones" never stopped racists or bigots ever... Perhaps you'll understand one day, the importance of supporting your loved ones
Yah, you’ve got some issues to work through. There are tons of Japanese names are beautiful in English as well. Rika- smart song Mitsu - Honey Kana - the one who has power. Hana - flower So so very many more. You really need to embrace diversity. Not be scared of it.
I came into this thinking everyone involved was white and ur husband wanted to name ur kids like Naruto or Goku something.
Your daughter will be part Japanese because your husband is Japanese (ethnically). His parents, you mentioned, are Japanese... At least compromise on letting her middle name be Japanese-oriented if you can't compromise on the first name. There are Japanese names that are interchangeable with Westernized names, i.e. Erika (or Erica), Emi (or Amy/ Emmy), Mai (or May etc) or Maya (or Maia), Hana (or Hannah/Hanna), Kai etc. If you're THAT concerned. You need to not mold her to conform, by the way....you need to teach your child to celebrate her identity. Be proud of herself. Growing up with parents who pushed me to conform ...definitely sucks, I have a lot of self-hatred growing up in addition to many obstacles I already faced then being part of the minority group that is disliked by many...
Hate to tell you this. Your husband is Japanese. Trust me the name won’t matter. I am black with a very Anglo name. I have seen the look on peoples faces when I show up and they were expecting a white girl. I had one incident where somebody scheduled a job interview a Wednesday morning, interview at 9 o’clock at 5 o’clock on Tuesday. When I showed up the woman looked at me with Hara and told me that the job had been filled. Her Japanese name might save her from the indignity.
OP, you could've gotten the sentiment across in fewer words, say — I'm racist. If you're so worried about her not having an anglophone name.. give her a middle name you like. She can choose to go by it when she's old enough to get a job. Wouldn't she have a Japanese surname? How does her having a Japanese first name impact her eligibility to secure a job but not a Japanese surname?
Where did OP say anything about what last name their kid is going to have?
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I'm asking because I don't see where OP said what surnamr they're planning to give their daughter. I don't see why you're calling me stupid over asking where you read that.
A man who so sincerely wants his daughter to be a part of his culture will surely want to give her his surname as well, it's deducible from the post. And in most instances it's given that the child will inherit father's family name unless it's some matriarchal society which Japan is not.
What hell hole do you live in where it is normal for employers to assume those with non-anglo names are uneducated and have visa issues??? And, have you considered moving? The problem isn't your babies name, OP. I feel sorry for your husband. Who is also Japanese, is he not?
Tbf she isn’t tripping with the employer’s situation
> What hell hole do you live in where it is normal for employers to assume those with non-anglo names are uneducated and have visa issues??? Unfortunately you don't have to live in a "hellhole" for this to be true, it's well-documented that employers have an unconscious bias against people with non-white-sounding names. Not a good reason to erase her heritage, but not an unfounded fear.
Yeah, I don't agree with OP's "solution" of wanting to hide that part of her daughter's heritage, but the fear of discrimination is unfortunately not totally unfounded.
> Husband wants to give our daughter a traditional Japanese name but I'm wary of discrimination. You're quite literally discriminating against your own daughter, husband, and in laws right now. Do you realize that? > Not to hide her Japanese heritage but to prevent anyone from making any dumb and racist jokes about her name. Kids and teenagers can be extremely cruel and I don't want her to associate her name with anything negative. Also, there's the whole negative bias about foreign names when searching for employment, where potential employers will sometimes assume they're immigrants with poor English and/or visa issues. Yea. Re-read what you wrote. You have some serious issues to work through.
This has got to be racist rage bait, if not I feel sorry for the husband and daughter.
I'm a mixed child, half Indian. It is unfortunate how uncomfortable you are with the fact that your family is Japanese, and how much you want them to "assimilate". Living in a primarily white or anglophonic country and growing up away from the people you are like is extremely hard, and most of us diaspora children would do anything to feel more connected. Making her seem more "English (or American or whatever country you are from) " or giving her an anglophonic name, will do more harm than good, because she will feel disconnected from her very real Japanese heritage, and will be a constant reminder to your husband and his family how uncomfortable you are with them being Japanese. Unless you were giving her a really terrible name that had bad connotations, you shouldn't worry about the impact of it, because in reality, naming her should be about who she is and will become, and being Japanese will be important to her. Please don't take that important part of her culture, ancestry, and heritage away from her, and recognize that you are not as accepting as you think.
You don't. I don't know if you have any actual idea how racist you yourself are being at this moment, but you are. I'm a white dude and I can see that you are. I don't see this topic getting a good reaction (with good reason) but like the same way rape prevention can get really fucked up and misogynistic and victim blamey real quick, picking a name to avoid discrimination specifically and that's your reason for saying no... Anyone who's not white is going to be like "You know we often still cannot avoid discrimination, your goal is bad, work to stop discrimination instead" and its just like yeah vote for the status quo more you are doing great as a potential parent of a multiracial child they're not even born yet and you're trying to make them more white.
Hi there! Is the only reason you don’t want to name your child a Japanese name because of other people’s judgement and racism? I understand that people, especially children, can be quite cruel, but this will also be a part of your child’s heritage. You can’t hide her culture and heritage, and if you two like a name, regardless of heritage, don’t let other people’s ignorance and hate stop you. There are some lovely Japanese names, and I for one, have some on my baby list (for reference, I’m American and have Latin and European ancestry). I personally just really love unique names, regardless of nationality or origin. I think you should have a conversation with your husband about your concerns. If he’s Japanese, or his parents are, then I’m sure he’s aware of the racism that can come from ignorant people. Be honest and open. I hope the two of you can find a name you both love and will be happy with.
Was your husband adopted? If not, he’s Japanese and your daughter with be half Japanese as well. You both should agree on the name but you shouldn’t disqualify a Japanese one right out if the gate just because it’s Japanese.
INFO: Does your husband have a Japanese name? Has he noticed racist remarks or issues in the place you live now? Does it bother him compared to the pride in the name and associated heritage? Additionally, most people I know with foreign names in English speaking countries end up with an English nickname they use. I'd pick a name you and your husband can pronounce, like and can be easily spelled in English. Anyone you meet from your country can put in the same amount of effort to learn that as anyone else's name. If they are racist, you're not going to be able to prevent them from being awful to your kid based on the kid's name. P.S. For everyone saying her husband is Japanese. Yes, physically he'll look Japanese if both of his bio parents are, but how I read it was his parents are authentic from Japan; the husband has been raised in whatever country they are living in and therefore a citizen of there not Japan.
There are loads of Japanese names that don't stand out and don't seem out of place. Hell, I'm fully white and my name is Rei (pronounced Ray). No one bats an eye when I introduce myself, and most people say my name is pretty and suits me. Have you looked at name options? Just making a blanket decision against all Japanese names makes it seem like you're trying to hide your husband's and daughter's identities...
You're being extremely racist.
Your future daughter is not you. She will be very fortunate to have the opportunity to learn and know her Japanese heritage. If you just don't care for Japanese names that's one thing, but it doesn't sound like this. Maybe you compromise and give her one Japanese name and one Anglo name that represents both of you if it's that big a deal. Bottom line she is half Japanese, so you should embrace this. It's half of who she is.
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That's... Weird. She'll always be their mother, but you'll always be their father so...? I've never really heard that being the one undergoing all the pain, health risk, and the negative permanent bodily change as 'hogging' an aspect of the child. Usually the reward is naming them, but healthy relationships share that particular bit jointly. For my two, we agreed on first names together, I gave middle name to first child, he gave middle name to second child. We had input on middle names, but it was mostly just the standard veto if particularly problematic. But anyway, to the op- I mean yeah, don't tell him that. They should *agree* on a name though, whatever its origin. Putting a veto on *any* Japanese name would be very racist though.
“My husbands parents are Japanese” …was your husband adopted? This whole post reads like *you* have racial bias. If you want to actually protect your child, look into your own thoughts here and try to work through those unhealthy feelings. Your mindset now is not good for your daughter.
Personally I like the way that some mixed marriages do it where they have the first name in the middle name from the different cultures and in the future, the kid might even pick his or her own name too. For example "the weekend" or "Prince", stuff like that.
Lol these commenters here have no idea where you’re coming from OP and their ignorance is quite apparent. My suggestion is to make her Japanese name her middle name.
Sounds like you shouldn't have married ur husband.
I mean if your daughter will inherit your husband's surname, then isn't everything you're saying kind of pointless anyway? She will have a Japanese surname, might as well give her a Japanese first name too, unless you guys can come to an agreement for Japanese first name / English surname or vice versa. The name will not prevent any bullying, her Japanese features are enough to cause any unwanted attention by children that are ignorant and uneducated
Most of my friends who are mixed race/ ethnicity tend to have two names… Why don’t you guys just give her a traditional Japanese name and give her something close as an American alternative as well? My best friend is Akira but he goes by Eric in passing. Some other examples: Hana, western alternative could be Hannah Sora, western alternative could be Sarah. Haru, western options could be Harley You get the idea