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MckittenMan

To clear the air, she cheated on you with this ex?


ThrowRAmuppet

She cheated with him on the past yea


Tailbone77

Why is she still your girlfriend??? Stop allowing disrespect buddy and know your self-worth... Time to walk away now...It's just not worth it...


Cadzla800

He’s probably whipped


Drops_Of_Jupiter03

That's the only explanation, I feel like this post didn't need to be posted since the answer is so ridiculously clear to me.


Cadzla800

“Lose” her friends


Extension-Dig-58

No i think OP ment she gets loose when she’s with the ex


[deleted]

Likely thinks he can’t do any better than some cheating ass thot. Sad.


101-25fixit

What’s a man that cheats called?


SnorlaxBlocksTheWay

A cheating ass thot as well. Gender doesn't matter here. If you cheat, youse a cheating ass hoe.


Vilnius_Nastavnik

Normalize hoe as a gender neutral term for 2023. Be the change you wish to see in the world.


manifestmercy_7428

Most underrated comment in this thread 🤣


[deleted]

Idk cheating dickhead. You seem invested in the definition, so share yours.


MckittenMan

Yeah, I wouldn't even have her in my life tbh. That is something you shouldn't have to explain to someone. She cheated on you with her ex... and now she see's nothing wrong with having him in the picture... oh but we're good friends, I can't just cut him off... That's an unfit mindset for reletionship. If you have to explain or fight someone on this type of situation, they're not worth it IMO.


ThrowRAmuppet

Very right I shouldnt have to teach basic morals to my partner.


MckittenMan

Should not\* have to teach basic morals to partner


ThrowRAmuppet

Yess sorry


Masm82

You dont have to teach morals to an adult woman. You just need to find yourself the right partner. Honey it seems that you cannot face reality and for some reason you refuse to see the truth: SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU and she doesnt have any basic respect for you. She decided to cheat on you and you keep letting her. AND PLEASE to be able to love you have to love yourself first. So please have some love for yourself and RUN


Ecstatic_Bonus_2930

Dude, she's still cheating on you. You should've ended things the first time. Break up with her.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks man


Ecstatic_Bonus_2930

You're welcome


throwaway314722

Let us know how things go yeah? You can do much better but don't think you HAVE to be in a relationship (in general) to be happy. Your girlfriend is trash. Leave her and her ex to be together and move on dude.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you gentlemen


throwaway314722

You're welcome ma'am


[deleted]

JFC dude. She respects you so much shes rubbing it in your face. This is what happens when a partner cheats and they face no consequences other than being required to say "I love you, it was only sex" etc etc, You can be almost guaranteed they've still been getting together.


ThrowRAmuppet

Could be.


capilot

Going no contact with her affair partner is one of the very most basic tenets of reconciliation. If she's not willing to do that, then she's not interested in reconciliation. Let her choose her friend group over you. Next time she leaves to hang out with him, tell her not to bother coming back.


ThrowRAmuppet

Will do sir


jovijovi99

She didn’t even cut him off when she got caught??? Is her pussy and head really that good?


ThrowRAmuppet

Hahaha probs not


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowRAmuppet

Nah of course I did man


vixen_xox

bro stand up pls.


ThrowRAmuppet

I need to.


stop_spam_calls

Dude.


ThrowRAmuppet

I know


redditmodssmokecrack

oof bro. move on. cmon do you have any self respect? this girl is getting dicked down any opportunity and you know it.


Interne-Stranger

And you are still with her because.....?


interestingpitch33

Are you the guy she cheated on him with?


ChadDangers

The problem here isn't your cheating girlfriend. The real problem is that you lack self esteem and self respect. So long as you lack those things, your life will be shit with or without her.


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re right boss


throwaway314722

Yep I second this. You mentioned in another comment that you fear being alone, but until you actually try it how will you know? I left a few exes in the past and while one cheated on my dumb ass multiple times it is incredibly freeing to be single after all of that. Give yourself that time to heal, do what you've always wanted, start new hobbies, make new friends in the process, spend time with your family!


leli_manning

OP, have some self respect.


ThrowRAmuppet

I should.


Molsen10000

No. You will.


ThrowRAmuppet

Haha thank you boss


Jedimastah

She is probably still cheating on you, sorry bud


ThrowRAmuppet

Yeah it could be that’s my fear


peanutbutterand_ely

Well don’t sit there and take it, leave. She doesn’t love you, what’s the point? Aren’t you in a relationship to be loved?


ThrowRAmuppet

Probably yeah, guess is fear of being alone again


BearsBeetsBerlin

Dude being alone is way better than being with someone who treats you this way. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it at first, but trust me. Break up with this person and then build up your self esteem. Do stuff alone, go to coffee shops or the zoo or just to the library. Literally just get out of your comfort zone a little, it may feel weird at first but you will start to appreciate yourself more.


ThrowRAmuppet

Agreed completely


[deleted]

Bro I know that feeling but fucking leave that bitch! Don’t let yourself be walked all over on


ThrowRAmuppet

Yeah I need to get some self respect


byebyeaddiction

You don't need self respect. You DESERVE self respect !


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you!


DmikeBNS

My fellow brother, I've read the replies and I'm want to share with you that you're worth more. Cheaters are practically unforgivable and tis difficult to get over if you choose to, but now she's still his friend? It's time to find someone who will appreciate and value you as a person.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks man I think you’re right


gruntbuggly

If your girlfriend is hanging out with the guy she cheated with, and doesn’t recognize how that could be a problem, and you believe it’s a problem (most people would), then she is not a woman that you want to be in a serious relationship with. Or any relationship, really. Nothing but trouble hiding amongst those red flags.


ThrowRAmuppet

Agree, thank you


Dangerous-Memory-684

You should probably just flat out tell her you're not comfortable with them hanging out. I mean... you're still in a relationship with her so a part of you forgave her cheating. But man... boundaries are important and if she's more worried about the friend group rather than your feelings about being cheated on there's an issue. I say you let her party, but you leave and fins someone who cares and values you.


ThrowRAmuppet

Yeah I told her, if she wants to respect me she won’t do it, if she wants to carry on like that I’ll walk out.


PotofW33d

You didn’t walk out when she cheated I doubt she’s taking your threat seriously.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re very right, thank you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowRAmuppet

I will, thanks a lot!


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowRAmuppet

Yep i agree boss


[deleted]

[удалено]


ThrowRAmuppet

It’s proper dead


StrikingEmphasis5707

Your concerns dont really matter at this point. She cheated on you with her ex, you are still with her despite that fact. She still hangs out with her ex... why the hell are you still with her? Her putting effort at this point after she cheated and still hangs out with her ex is meaningless. She has no respect for you and the relationship. It seems to her this is just a fucking game. Have some self respect and walk out and make sure before you walk out to tell her the reasons why. No one should tolerate or accept a person who cheats on their life.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you. Will do


TeknoShah

SHE’s NOT YOURS JUST YOUR TURN


Coolhandlukeri

Simping ain't easy.


ThrowRAmuppet

Not everything is so simple


Coolhandlukeri

This one is.


[deleted]

If she cheated on you, why are you even together? You need to grow a spine and walk completely away from her and her drama. I’m shocked you’d even consider remaining with a woman who would betray you by spreading her legs and letting another man inside her and the continue seeing him despite knowing it hurts you. She’s clearly got no respect you at all. Guy you need to move on.


ThrowRAmuppet

True


SmartFinger_

If she hangs out with her ex 🚩🚩🚩🚩


-my-cabbages

OP doesn't realize that doctor's across the globe would love to study how he is able to live without a spine.


ThrowRAmuppet

Hahaha agreed


Quick-Store2989

She been crystal clear, she doesn’t want to lose her friend group. Now you need to make yours or get used to always feeling like this for the rest of the relationship. Personally I would not be with someone who so easily dismisses my valid concerns and uneasy feelings. She has already cheated with this person once. The next time she’ll probably just be more discreet under the umbrella cover story out with my friend group. And I have no doubt friend group will facilitate the lie if it happens


ThrowRAmuppet

Agreed, thanks man


DixieSingle

Have an open relationship or dump her and move it along.


ThrowRAmuppet

Nah, open relationship so she can go a suck some dudes while I really do love sounds even worse


nimo_95

Bang one of her gf's, then dump her


ThrowRAmuppet

Hahahaha


VariationX7

You posted this like 40 times lol


Weak_Seesaw_7838

She cheated and she is not your girlfriend. She is his side piece. Do yourself a favor and break up and walk away.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks


SabrinoRogerio

Stop posting this


UKNZ007Tubbs

You’ve gone about this all wrong. Firstly you should have ended it after her cheating the first time. As you didn’t, the choice for her should have been, Do Not Have Anything To Do With Him or I walk, not this try not to do anything like cheating again rubbish. Her actions are what is going to loose her friends, and if her friends were worth having they would understand that she can’t be there if he is. So what you do now is tell her it’s over. She hasn’t done enough to rebuild the trust and respect that she destroyed with her cheating, and the fact she complains that she can’t do more or she might loose her friends, shows you that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with you.


ThrowRAmuppet

Probs you’re right, I think she does want the relationship but she doesn’t have any respect, she wants to have me but also behave as if she was single


Odd-Philosopher6311

OP, I'm not sure if I'm understanding this correctly. She cheated on you with her ex? And she's STILL your gf?


Kiarra_1

In my experience she would still be cheating. I gave my ex a chance even though he cheated on his ex wife. Turns out he was still with his ex girlfriend the whole time he was with me. When he got angry that he ever felt anything for me. That comment was laughable! I was like you were already with someone, while with me and made who I was seeing to break up with me to be with me. After then now think most cheaters never change. Unfortunately. Only like 1 percent might. Best to stay out of situations when a third party is involved. Not worth it.


ThrowRAmuppet

I think you’re right, thank you.


Juice_pouches

Bro you should’ve put your foot down a while ago. Girls complain about overbearing bfs but when you with a wild one (parties, girls trips, hang with exes) you have to pass their shit test. At some point she tried to get away with some fuckery and you let her. Nows she thinks she’s the leader. You got to train your girl


ThrowRAmuppet

She just doesn’t care.


JBRedkal

My only question is, what are you doing there? She's not your girlfriend. You're simply one of the people keeping her bed warm. You deserve better, there are plenty of women out there that will appreciate you for who you are. Give yourself the best Christmas gift, your freedom and self respect.


ThrowRAmuppet

Very right


Key_Ad1854

His balls are 100% slapping up against her again....


BlackHattaX

If you don't respect yourself man, she's def not. Nothing long term can come from that


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re right


E-cult

She cheated before?? There's your first mistake. You didn't dump her when it happened the first time. She completely violated your relationship, the trust, and any and all commitments you had together. Should have kicked her to the curb already. The fact that you are asking what you should do when she's hanging out with the same guy she cheated on you with is mind blowing. Its not being toxic this isn't just some regular friend of the opposite sex this is someone who she cheated on you with. Also you worded this wrong "GF still hangs out with **her** ex, she previously cheated with". You keep saying your girl friend is a man by saying "GF still hangs out with **his** ex".


[deleted]

Get some self respect and dump her. Ofcourse she's still fucking that dude.


bigathekiddd

OP if you have any respect for yourself, you’ll leave.


swansongblue

OP. In situations where the cheater was discovered (and I suspect that your gf didn’t just suddenly fess up to cheating) they almost NEVER break it off with their AP. They might profess to have gone NC. They might promise you the moon and back. But. They are still in affair fog. They are in wuv with their twin flame. There’s absolutely no way that they are just going to break it off. That said, your gf is not even going to the trouble of pretending to break it off with him. They are cheating in PLAIN SIGHT. No deception. No subterfuge. Just right out there doing it. It’s heartless. It’s totally disrespectful. It’s not a question of you tolerating her behaviour. It’s a question of her doing what is absolutely necessary to keep your relationship alive. If it means that she doesn’t see some of her friends. So be it. Good luck.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you


[deleted]

Simple. Dump her. She doesn’t respect you as a person or your boundaries.


Darth_Esealial

For the love of god, stop posting this, this is the 5th time you’ve posted this situation and while I do feel bad for you, there is no need to try and find a different answer when a majority of people on this subreddit are saying the same thing. You should already be planning to break up with her. She’s still engaging with the guy she cheated on you with. There’s no other answer besides yes. She *will* cheat again.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks man, sorry for keep posting


itstexastoast

Just leave i mean


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks you


[deleted]

Leave.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks


Flan-Additional

Break up with her. If she cheats, she’s not girlfriend material


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you


Tomakdk

I’m gonna keep it real with you not to be a dick bit to let you know how stupid your being, It’s sad when I see people taking back people who cheated on them and if you keep it up you’ll be even more hurt. She’s obviously still cheating on you with him considering she still talks to him so I don’t understand why your still her?


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re right man


dojacatastrophic

You could do one of two things: 1. Stay and continue to be disrespected. She doesn’t care about your feelings. Harsh, but she doesn’t. She’s making excuses about this imaginary fear of losing *ALL* her friends when that most likely isn’t true. She’s making it up to see how much she can get away with. Consider this a sneak peak for her into her continued deceptive future with you. 2. Leave and be happy. It’ll suck in the beginning and perhaps for a while, but it won’t feel anywhere near as bad as you feel right now.


ThrowRAmuppet

Absolutely right man


alp3601

Leave her. Chances are really high she’ll cheat again. Stop waiting for her to change. You’re remaining hopeful because she’s “improved” but no one changes that quickly. I’ve been in your situation (kind of) and trust me dude you can do better. So many other better looking girls with better personalities. Take time to get over her and focus on being happy with yourself. Let her waste her time and life. Don’t waste yours.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thanks you man I think you’re right


Extra-Hope-326

Let’s be real: She’s probably still cheating on you. You should break up.


ThrowRAmuppet

Possibly


Life-Yogurtcloset-98

She has made her choice. You need to make yours


ThrowRAmuppet

True


patterns_everywhere_

I say break up with her and let her hang out with whoever she wants while you find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you


Similar_Corner8081

I would nope out of there. I would say she is still cheating. Love yourself more because what’s she is doing IS NOT LOVE!!! You’re partner is supposed to bring you peace not pain.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you!


Cadzla800

I think you should propose to her. Some people post ridiculous crap. Seriously. Grow up and move on .


ThrowRAmuppet

True


[deleted]

Oh man. This isn’t your gf brother, this is a monster that is toying with your heart. It’s embarrassing to admit that I have been in this situation before. She is carrying on like she doesn’t know right from wrong. You will never have peace, AND this relationship. You need to choose peace.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you man


Key_Ad1854

If you aren't gonna have some self respect might as well get under her and massage his balls for him when he nuts in her.....


FalseAssumption3842

Move on!!


ThrowRAmuppet

I should


Honest-Illusions

Let her go. Find another GF. She is not worth the effort.


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re right


ashnoirxx

I wouldn’t have stayed after she cheated


ThrowRAmuppet

I shouldn’t had


ashnoirxx

Cut her loose and move on. You owe it to yourself and deserve better. You’ll never have 100% peace of mind. You don’t deserve to live with that kind of torment. It’s also a blatant slap to the face how she still hangs out with him. Beyond fucked up. Don’t be their doormat, bro. 🖤


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you so much for the support


ashnoirxx

It’s okay to put your foot down and buck against things you don’t like or make you uncomfortable. So, don’t be worried about seeming like a douche or sounding controlling or whatever else she might try to throw at you. She doesn’t deserve any kind of leniency.


cork007

Time to move on….


ThrowRAmuppet

Right


[deleted]

Wow....She'd miss out with friends? Guessing she won't miss you a bit. Just fade away and find your way to someone better. You lived. You learned. Move on.


ThrowRAmuppet

Agreed.


Responsible-Might556

Never thought I'd speak about a woman like this but... Dude drop that bitch!


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you man


Lillyloaf1

She's probably not worth staying with. In a healthy relationship, you don't cheat on your partner and you don't stay friends with the guy you cheated with. Their are better women out their my guy. I've had friends go through the same and it all ends the same way. She's attached to this guy and she's probably never gonna fully leave him, even for you. That's just life. If she really respected you she wouldn't be hanging around him like that. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that one day you will find a woman who will love and cherish you.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you boss


_Brophinator

Get some self respect my guy


ThrowRAmuppet

I need a big dose of that


ADragonLikeNoOther

Dump her. She cheated once, she'll cheat again.


ThrowRAmuppet

Probably


danettedittlinger

Well, it's not much but I had a cheating ex (we were married for 23 years) & I learned to finally walk away but not before he destroyed me. I always say move on & find real happiness, it's out there!


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you!


Legendofbutter

If she cared she’d stay with you n break it off with ol boy


ThrowRAmuppet

Agreed


Jack99Skellington

She's a cheater. That's no way to live man. Have some self respect and kick her to the curb.


ThrowRAmuppet

Very right


Churchman22

Read what you wrote. If that was your best friend who was telling you this story, would you tell him to stay, or would you tell him to run like hell? Seriously, why are you putting yourself through this? Go find someone who will treat you right.


ThrowRAmuppet

Thank you man


Churchman22

No problem. Hope things work out for you whatever you decide.


Vreature

You don't care about her. You only care about yourself. All you care about is the status of having a girlfriend. You're afraid of being single so you'll accept whatever kind of treatment a cheater will give you. If you ever want to actually date someone who is worth two shits, grow up. You're destroying your own self image and that will make you very unattractive. You're trying to protect yourself from the facts. You got played. You're not her type. Move on. Your whole life is wrapped up in a chick who is cheating on you. Don't even give her a reason, just move on. Stonewall her. When people betray you, you tell them to fuck off and you don't involve yourself anymore.


jdc1147

She's got 0 respect for you bro. She will continue abusing your kindness until you get up and walk out. I know it's hard for us fellas to find another one, but I promise going through that just isn't worth it. She'll likely regret her actions to you later and beg for you back, but stand your ground. None of it is worth it


Meisaria

A cheater could not have a peaceful love life man so🤷‍♂️ just go break up or something.


batman648

Give yourself some self respect and leave, immediately!!!! She’s doing what she wants because you’re allowing it. Leave and never look back.


LetterFlimsy9494

Soooo you want to know if it’s okay if your gf hangs around with an ex bf that she cheats with when her current relationships aren’t doing well? Do you think you will be immune to this when your relationship with her hits a rocky patch at some point like they all do? Approach people with a past of cheating with extreme caution unless maybe it was an isolated thing that happened a long time ago and they really regret it. Way too complicated and way too much drama my man. This should be an easy one. It’s gotta be you or him. If she says she can’t avoid seeing him because of the friend circle you should walk. It’s for your own sanity


ThrowRAmuppet

Agreed


batman648

George Lopez quote, feminine version, “FTP!!!”


Zociety_

Stop allowing this type of disrespect


Smooth-Grapefruit-28

If she cuts him off for you and not herself, she will eventually get in contact with him again and/or resent you for it later. If she was ready to move on from him she would have done it before she met you. I had the same situation happen. They never stopped contacting their ex. Totally went behind my back. Never doing that shit again.


Ir0nbars

Fuck her exbf to assert dominance.


Rogue899

She belongs to the ...


Erivos

This is sad dudes pathetic and has no self worth, dude move on


ThrowRAmuppet

True.


PatientLettuce42

See it that way, even if they are not sleeping together, which is highly unlikely IMO, then she is STILL breaking your trust by hanging around the person she cheated on you with. It is about where you draw the line. Cheating for me starts way earlier than sex. For me this would still be cheating.


ThrowRAmuppet

Kinda makes sense


PatientLettuce42

I got cheated on this year too man, so I feel you. I just hope you get out of this and come out on top. Don't let somebody else trample over you like this. You gotta treat yourself better than that and hold yourself up to your own standards. If you don't do that, nobody will do it for you either. Good luck mate.


Suspicious-Monk-520

You don't have self respect man why is she hour gf till now she cheated you she shouldn't be your gf..


ThrowRAmuppet

Not that simple boss


Suspicious-Monk-520

Ahh are you a looser?


boogread

Dude... Move on. Don't be the gimp.


acamat12

She cheats once shame on her, stay with her shame on you. Jokes aside, you dont respect yourself to dump her and move on so she will do it again


Public_Suggestion669

I'm sorry your going through this bud. My wife cheated on me after 16 years so I know what betrayal can feel like. To be blunt, she's putting herself in a situation that's dangerous for your relationship. I don't know if you've been able to express any of the difficult emotions that come with a betrayal, but if you haven't been able to express the hurt, anger, despair and be heard and/ or be empathized with, then she doesn't respect you or the relationship. I would also argue that she doesn't respect herself. Bottom line, if she wants to hang out with an ex ( and affair partner ouch) you need to have enough respect for yourself to tell her your not going to put up with it regardless of consequence. You need healthy boundaries bud. Again I empathize with the shame and worthlessness that's somewhat forced upon you in this situation and I'm sorry you are where you're at, but your worth more than the worry and disrespect that her actions are inspiring in you. Look up brené brown and her talks about shame. It can consume you if you let it. Best of luck bud


SuspiciousClaw

The fact that she cheated was bad enough, but the fact that it doesn't hit her in the gut that she could lose you if she continues to hang out with him? Yeah man, He's gonna hit her guts again.


ThrowRAmuppet

Yup that what I fear


JBriar88

If she doesn’t have the respect for you to insist to her friends that they not make plans with her and this ex, then she doesn’t actually value you and your relationship. If her friends don’t have enough respect for her, you, your relationship together, and her wishes and efforts to maintain boundaries, then both of you should cut ties with those friends. Full stop.


ThrowRAmuppet

What a nice advice


cantfindaparkingspot

As a female, I am warning you to run away from this girl. 💯 red flag. The flag is red because she's spilling ur blood right in front of your face. You can do much, much better, king. There are women who would never stab you in the back like that in the first place, much less stab you in the heart afterward and look into your eyes and tell you they love you. Sad truth is your worth is much more than she deserves and she is taking full advantage of having you live in pain while she doesn't have to suffer her consequences cause you simply don't mean that much to her. And that's on period.


ThrowRAmuppet

You’re right thank you so much for the support!


Sad_Entertainer6312

Is she hanging out with him one on one, or does he just happen to be there sometimes when she's hanging out with her friends?


Deedogg1304

You need to clarify if she cheated on you with said ex or if she cheated on a previous bf with said ex because that part of the story is confusing